TCB Classic: Etc, Etc, Etc

Summary

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The Commercial Break

Episode: TCB Classic: Etc, Etc, Etc (August 29, 2025)

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Episode Overview

In this TCB "classic" episode, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley offer up their quintessential blend of chaotic improv comedy, irreverent banter, and half-baked commentary on internet oddities, pop culture, and the absurdities of everyday life. While Krissy is recovering from the "late summer schmutz" that all parents know too well, Bryan replays an episode from earlier in the year. The episode dives deep into the supposed threat of a doomsday asteroid, then sharply pivots into a hilariously savage takedown of a self-proclaimed Las Vegas pick-up artist (PUA) “master” with a love of poorly made PowerPoints and the word “etc.”

The tone is a perfect encapsulation of TCB’s self-aware, unpolished, and freewheeling comedic style—think: riffing, roasting, and running with any tangent that crosses their minds.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Asteroid Anxiety and End-of-the-World Scenarios

• Bryan shares recent news about an asteroid ("YR24") purportedly on a doomsday trajectory toward Earth, only for scientists to later declare the risk to be 0%. The hosts riff on science communication, public panic, and the absurdity of fluctuating risk percentages.

• Existential hypothetical: What would you do if you had six years left before a guaranteed extinction event? Bryan and Krissy take turns spinning apocalyptic life plans that involve everything from cashing out and hitting Disney World to joining beachside ayahuasca parties.

• Media and government trust issues: Bryan questions whether authorities would even tell the public the truth if an asteroid really were bearing down, worrying about social chaos and mass denial.

• Skepticism about asteroid calculations and dealing with news whiplash (science vs. public relations).

  “Is that just scientists or NASA saying, 'We can't let this cat out of the bag... Society has gotta function for the next six years'?” (Bryan, 11:14)

2. Meta-Reflection on Mortality and Planning for Death

• The hosts muse on whether they would want to know the exact date of their death—landing on "no" but admitting the organizational advantages.

• A riff on the “party, not a funeral” mentality and making one’s own passing a celebration.

• The usual Instagram-worthy truisms get a TCB twist, complete with nipple dances and thong jokes.

  “Cherish every day as if it was your last. I bleached my asshole. Take a look. Lincoln bio.” (Bryan, 18:59)

3. Government Bureaucracy & Accelerationism (With Extra Tangent Energy)

• Brief but sharp musings on public service jobs, value assessments, and recent news of massive layoffs (with a conspiratorial glint).

• Bryan name-drops the concept of “accelerationism” and questions the logic (and motives) behind reducing government staff in critical agencies.

• Cue references to Musk, bunkers, and town halls, with comic skepticism infused throughout.

  “There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration, and that is saying something…” (Bryan, 24:56)

4. The Internet Algorithm and the Rise of the Pickup Artist Grift

• Bryan’s Instagram and YouTube algorithm serve up an endless stream of “bikinis and crazy people.”

• He introduces the focus of today’s ridicule: a Las Vegas PUA “master” called Ryan Wamanes/Juan Zemas (names not quite clear), whose credentials, claims, and presentation style are quickly torn apart.

  “If you’re into bikinis and crazy people, you’re gonna love my search history." (Bryan, 29:25)

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The Pickup Artist Bootcamp Roast

[29:31–63:41]

Introduction to the PUA Video & Ryan's Credentials

• The hosts set the scene: Ryan is a tatted-up, Spiderman-elbowed, wannabe dating Yoda who delivers hours-long PowerPoints from a shoddy apartment set-up or mall food court.
• "No Wife, Happy Life" T-shirt and a kiss tattoo on his neck set the (unintentionally comical) tone.
• His approach to coaching is compared to a bad football play, and a poor chef metaphor is repeatedly deployed ("I'm the chef, you're the apprentice, etc etc.").
• The PowerPoint slides are text-dense, unreadable, and overloaded with "etc, etc."

Notable Quotes & Segments

• At [32:52], Ryan assures clients: "When you get so good at this game, you won't even have to approach women. You will just become the man, and women will come to you."
  • Bryan fires back: “You are gonna be a pussy magnet.” (32:52)
• [35:19] Chrissy riffs on the PowerPoint: “At the top, in big letters, it says, am I going to get laid on this boot camp?”
  • Bryan: “The answer is probably not. That’s the second boot camp.”
• Bryan mockingly narrates the “specialized” bootcamp packages (mall package, diamond package) and notes the endless “no refunds” disclaimers ([36:05]).
• [39:56] The “infield training” takes place in a mall, with hidden-earpiece interactions and ham-fisted attempts to talk to kiosk workers and retail clerks (aged questionably young).
• The “scientifically proven” approaches are savaged; Bryan questions what scientist is backing any of this.
  • Chrissy, [42:02]: "What scientist is doing research on this?”
  • Bryan: “None. Oh, a free 15 minute phone consultation. You know what, Chrissy? I think we’re gonna have to call.” (42:03–42:09)
• The chef/blueprint metaphor is mercilessly picked apart:

  “It isn’t a fucking IKEA chair you gotta build...There are no technical specifications to attraction. It’s either happening or it’s not happening.” (Bryan, 56:43)

Riffs, Reenactments & Tangents

• Bryan and Chrissy take turns mocking the script (“Are there Starbucks around here?”) and reenact “infield” pickup lines with deadpan delivery ([51:30]).
• Bryan offers alternative bootcamp routines, featuring “plastic surgery, body-building, new contact lenses” (“Now that I’ve changed everything about you, you’re perfect just the way you are now!” 59:39).
• Chrissy and Bryan point out the absurdity of PUA “skills” built on customer service interactions (kiosk girls, Starbucks workers):
  • “If I’m a pickup artist…I’m telling my clients that customer service related interactions are not considered interactions that are valuable because they are paid to interact with you.” (Bryan, 54:33)

The Grand Summary of PUA Philosophy:

• “Etc, etc, etc.” becomes the running joke, highlighting the guru's deep lack of substance.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On asteroid-induced partying:

  “If someone came on the television today, and they said, you know, president or whoever, and he said, bitcoin asteroid. If Trump came on today and said, unfortunately, we have figured out…that asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked…It wouldn't take 24 hours before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world.” (Bryan, 09:32)

• On philosophical Instagram truisms:

  “Live. Laugh, love labia.” (Bryan, 18:52)

• On party funerals:

  “I've already planned my own funeral. If I die tomorrow, don't make a stink. Have a fucking party.” (Bryan, 16:54)

• On PUA guru metaphors:

  “It’s just a process…Let me give you a metaphor, Chrissy. I am the chef. I work at a Cheesecake Factory…” (Bryan, 59:39)

• On PUA presentation style:

  “He just literally read that entire PowerPoint slide and then he put it on there word for word. Ryan, I don't know about your pickup artist skills, but I know some people who can help you with your presentation. This is terrible, bro.” (Bryan, 45:01)

• On the “secrets” of pickup:

  “What makes it and/or… Why are we and/or-ing?” (Bryan, 61:11)

• On their own podcast’s quality:

  “There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration, and that is saying something because this is probably the worst organization in the history of LLCs.” (Bryan, 24:56)

• On the endless “etcs” of PUA grifting:

  "If you don't believe the PowerPoint slide, believe Ryan when he says you can have dating coach, technique, theory, get married, get laid, etc. Etc. Etc. Etc." (Bryan, 46:24)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Asteroid/Doomsday Apocalypse Discussion: 05:28–21:00
• End-of-Life Hypotheticals & Bucket List Banter: 13:01–19:20
• Public Service/Bureaucracy/Accelerationism Rant: 21:02–24:56
• IG Bikinis Algorithm & Introduction to Today’s PUA Grift: 29:01–32:26
• PUA Bootcamp React & Roast: 32:27–63:41
• Mock Infield Pickup Scripts: 51:31–52:02
• Chef/Blueprint Metaphors and Final Takedown: 53:35–63:41
• Closing/Meta Reflection: 63:41–end

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Recurring Themes, Signature Schtick, and Inside Jokes

• Over-the-top metaphors (chef, football coach, building a house), all mocked relentlessly
• “Etc, etc, etc.” as catch-all grifter filler
• Running jokes about the show’s own mediocrity and “best to have sex to”
• Inside references to previous TCB episodes and infamous figures (Zahn, the 21 Convention)
• Breaking the fourth wall to tease listeners about the show's format and sponsor segues

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Conclusion & Episode Takeaways

Bryan and Krissy wield their signature blend of irreverent banter and well-aimed mockery, dissecting and demolishing doom-mongering news headlines, pickup artist grifts, and the existential anxieties of modern life. If you want sharply sarcastic comedy that swings wildly from pop culture to Armageddon to the lamest sales pitches the internet can conjure, this episode is a vintage stroll through TCB’s comedic playbook.

Best quote to sum up the episode:

“Etc, etc, etc. All right, we're gonna take a break, and then we'll find some actual content here, and we'll get back to it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera." (Bryan, 47:41)

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[For a comedic, freewheeling exploration of life’s absurdities, and the sad, hilarious grift that is the modern “dating guru,” this episode is peak TCB.]

Transcript

[Brian Green]

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[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

On this episode.

[Brian Green]

Of the commercial break. As is customary when the kids go back to school, every household in America with small children experiences the late summer schmutz. Schmutz, of course, is a combination of goldfish crackers, dino chicken nuggets, Mickey Mouse gummies, bluey paint by number, puke and green snot. And as many parents who are probably suffering the same affliction will attest to, there's no avoiding it. The entire household is going to get sick within 10 days of the first day of school. And so our yearly visit from the ugly side of Mother Nature has shown up at the household, leaving me to suffer and Chrissy with a couple of days off. So as you go into this Labor Day weekend, the best I can do for you is a TCB classic. Here we don't have to reach too far back. Chrissy and I talk about the impending doom of the newly found asteroid or spaceship heading to Earth later on this year. And my Instagram algorithm serves me up a new pickup artist whose vocabulary is limited but does include the words etc. Etc. Etc. From January of this year. Enjoy episode number 705 and enjoy your very long weekend. You'll hear from us on Tuesday when we'll bring you a very special TCB infomercial. Indeed. Remy from Ratatouille, also known as Patton Oswald, joins us after the holiday. Bye. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you Chris.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this episode, number 700 3000. Thank you very much. Chrissy. I was going to share with you this week that there is an asteroid headed to Earth that is probably going to mean certain doom for all of humanity. It's called asteroid YR24 because it was found in the later part of November of 2024. And scientists says that it had scientists were telling us that it had a not zero chance of finding its way to Earth or our moon. So in the direct path of Earth or the moon. Now you're wondering to yourself if you do the math just a little bit, there should be a 0 chance or a hundred percent chance that something should hit the earth. Not a 1% chance. It was like 1 or 2%, 3% at some point. So I was going to tell you this so that we could all freak out and hide under our beds and make a make good on the last six years of living here on Earth. But I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news. You heard it here last, the commercial break, keeping you informed about all the comings and goings of the asteroid circling around Earth. Just last night I read that it is no longer a threat to humanity.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's what news.

[Brian Green]

This was a like football field sized asteroid that would have created a crater a mile wide and a lot of drama for those living in or around that particular asteroid. That to me is some of the scariest type of apocalyptic visions that you could have. Accelerationism and something coming from outer space, whether it be aliens or a rock hitting Earth and then certain destruction for all of us. Think about this. I want everybody to take a deep breath. Driving in your car at work, having sex with your girlfriend because we are the best podcast to have sex to.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And to sleep too.

[Brian Green]

And to sleep too. Probably more to sleep to. But okay, if you're having sex then I want everyone to take a deep breath and then I want you to think about this for a second. For months and months and months, we look up in the night sky, maybe even the day sky, and we see a growing object getting bigger than our moon as every day goes by. Fiery ball from hell coming toward us. And we have no choice but to suffer the consequences of certain doom like a black cold night for many, many months until we die of starvation. That to me is the scariest kind of apocalyptic vision because we will see it coming and we will see it coming for a long time and we will have nothing, there will be nothing that we can do unless Bruce Willis can get back on the horse and ride again. You know what I'm saying? That's the only way. And scientists have done that too. NASA has done this. They have effected, yes, they have moved a asteroid off its course. But that asteroid was like many, many, many, many, many thousands of miles away. And they were saying that if this particular asteroid. Why, for why are 24 Ak I k n y k d y not 24, if that asteroid was on its way to Earth, then we did not have time to do anything about it. The time had already passed, so we were fucked. Yes, six years apparently is not enough time to get that asteroid diversion machine up there. And we would really have to do something like drastic go put a nuclear bomb on it and hope that that diverts it, explodes it, whatever it is. And so this for at least a week was scaring the shit out of me. I was having nightmare visions in my bed like, wow, my kids aren't that old and we're all going to have to watch as the sky gets dark and we just wait for D day to come along.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's crazy to think about.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it is. And so, you know, I was, I was nerved up. I was ready to, you know, go to the red light district, spend the rest of my money, buy bitcoin.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let's create an nft.

[Brian Green]

Create an NFT build that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm going back to Tulum.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Oh shit. What do you do? There's six years left. What do you do?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know, that's.

[Brian Green]

What do you have on Wild? Well, first of all, the Earth is full of people that aren't well. And so if we really have six years left, I know that it's going to be a total shit show. It'd be nuts if someone came on the radio today or the television radio who listens to someone came out that. We've been talking about this all week on Fair. Anyway, I don't want to knock radio because, you know, we work for a radio network. It's already knocked we work for a radio network. It's already knocked. Yeah, it's struggling as it is. We don't need to kick it. We don't need to kick it while it's down. But if someone came on the television today and they said, you know, president or whoever, and he said, bitcoin asteroid. If Trump came on today and said, unfortunately we have figured out through mathematical calculations that I clearly did not do that asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked. Yeah, right. It wouldn't take 24 hours before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world. So for that reason alone, I am sus about this particular article that says it's no longer a threat because I think that people in charge may know better than to actually say that out loud. Yeah, like paradise. They're secretly pulling people into a bunker.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We need to check in with Neil Degrasse.

[Brian Green]

Neil won't come on the show. I've asked him a couple times.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

God, I love that man.

[Brian Green]

He said, I'll think about it next time I'm out there doing podcasts. And that was two years ago. Yeah, that's two years ago. I'd love to have Neil on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Neil, oh my God, he's so fascinating.

[Brian Green]

You're the safe place for you, bro. I'd love to hear anything you have to say. You would improve the intelligence of this show by a thousand just by logging on. That's it. That's all you need to do. But you have to think about that. When there is someone saying there is a 1 to 3% chance that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in 2032 and then days later they say, oh no, just kidding, it's 0, 0% chance. Now I agree, it is either 0% or 100%. You do the calculations. How is it 1%? Is it going to like, you know, in space, things fly pretty straight unless they hit something else or gravity pulls them away. Right? So you would know, like it's an orbit. You would know. However, it's pretty predictable. However, if someone says there is a chance and then all of a sudden says there isn't a chance, is that just scientists or NASA saying, we really can't let this cat out of the bag. We got a. Society has got to function for the next six years because you. If there is an asteroid heading toward Earth and it's certain doom and gloom, people are going to go crazy. They're going to go crazy. Law be damned. Laws are already be damned. I mean, we're already living in a Lawless country for. In a lot of ways. But then at.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're gonna need to keep our eye on the sky.

[Brian Green]

Sounds like I have my eye to the sky.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was looking at it last night actually, because there's some planetary thing that's happening right now where you can see.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's not planets, that's Elon Musk's. No, space drones. No.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But although I did see some satellites.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they fly.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I got this app, skyview. Skylink?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, something like that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's so cool when you hold it up and then you can.

[Brian Green]

And then you can see the constellations, see what you're looking at. Yeah, it's pretty cool because when I was a kid I was always fascinated by it in the book, but. And then in real life, I could never quite figure out where Orion's belt was. It was. Wasn't clear to me exactly what was Orion's belt. And my kids are now getting fascinated by this. So I got the app so that we could look and see. They're still confused about what's going on. I'm still confused about what's going on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But you can. We'll tell you if it's a satellite.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You can see those satellites flying across the sky. That's my point. That's my point. Okay, I get it. You're out yachting and you know, you need to Safe harbor. Whatever. Fuck you. So what do you do if there's six years left?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, a lot.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, tell me, what do we do? What do we get to. What do we get up to if there's six years left?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know. God, that's tough. It's like you need money to do.

[Brian Green]

Stuff you do and we don't have any.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, first, first thing, I sell all the equipment in the house. I sell all the equipment and I desperately try and get a real job for six years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

So that I have some money to feed myself and my children.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know, take it like the last year.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. For the last year of like five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then take off the last year. Just really hit it hard. Probably take the kids down to, to Disney a couple times.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, definitely hitting up Margaritaville.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Listen, and Great Wolf Lodge, I could think of worse places to die than Margaritaville. Do you know what I'm saying? I could not think of worse places to die than Great Wolf Lodge. That's. That's a given. I mean, who wants to die at the Great Wolf Lodge? I know there are People that do. But it's not me. I am not that. There is someone out there who says, that's my perfect. You know, when I was a teenager and I was doing a lot of experimenting with hallucinogens, you know, that can really fuck with your brain. And so I would oftentimes think about, like, apocalypse for whatever reason. What would I do in those circumstances? And then I would talk about that amongst friends. You know, we're all fucked up at night now. Where would we go? And all of us always said, Disney World. Just head down to Disney World, spend a couple of weeks and then just let the. Let the warm water of death wash over you. Right? Because it's a cool place, it's happy. You got roller coasters. You know, Mickey. Mickey had pretzels and those ice creams you can only buy down there. That pineapple dole whip. That dole whip. I want a dole whip before I die. So that seems like a cool place, but a beach seems like a great place.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, if you're going to be in the shadow of an asteroid and fiery ball from hell coming at you, you know, be on the beach, party.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In the woods, except on the beach.

[Brian Green]

Party in the woods, except on the beach. Everybody's naked. Bonfires everywhere, Bongos are being played, driving you fucking bananas. You can't sleep because of all the bongo playing. Lots of ayahuasca. I mean, you got to have dmt, if that, you know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I think I'd probably. I think I'd probably pass on the hallucinogens if I actually knew that at the end was near.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I might fuck with your head.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's gonna. Just fuck with. It's already gonna fuck with my head. But then it's gonna fuck with my head even more if I'm all fucked up. So, yeah, I'm cashing out everything and I'm just living high on the hog. But then you wonder, like, okay, isn't everybody else also going to do that? And then what about the people who make these places so special? The people who work at Disney or the resorts or your favorite beach that are bringing you those fruity cocktails with umbrellas if they know in mere moments our money's gonna be no good? Why am I working? Why is everybody else doing this? And I'm working for these people? I don't know that I'm gonna. You know, so. It's a tricky proposition.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It really is. It was six years to think about it.

[Brian Green]

Six years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think if you had a Week, that's one thing. But six years, you gotta thoughtfully plan.

[Brian Green]

If you knew the day you were going to die, would you. If you could know that day, would you want to know that day?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I thought about that before.

[Brian Green]

It's a really fascinating question with so many twists and turns.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think no.

[Brian Green]

I think no too.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But then I guess you could really plan.

[Brian Green]

If you knew the day you were going to die, there could be. You could have lots. You could say your goodbyes. You can make sure that everything was buttoned up. You can make sure your family was taken care of. Those last things you wanted to do or, you know, you had done.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You could plan your party.

[Brian Green]

You could plan your own funeral. Yep, I've already planned my own funeral. If I die tomorrow, don't make a stink. Have a fucking party. Just have a party. That's all I'm asking. Don't make a stink.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Me too. That's what I want.

[Brian Green]

Have a party. I doubt many tears are gonna be shed. But you know, if anybody starts to.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Cry, I'll bring in Teresa Caputo.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Theresa Caputo's gotta be there because she's gotta figure out our secret word that we can't remember.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

Nope.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think at one time it was Henry Fonda.

[Brian Green]

It was Henry Fox. Now we need to update it. Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Change password. Change password.

[Brian Green]

Please update your password. Yeah, I think that's a complicated question with so many different. Like there are. There are causes and effects to knowing the day that you're gonna die. And one of them is like if someone said, hey, Brian, you're gonna die next month. Yeah, I would be freaking out. Absolutely freaking out. But then I would do my best to get everything done that I needed to get done. Make sure that my family was okay and going to be fine. Say my goodbyes. But I'd also be incredibly sad, right? I'd think about all the things that I'm going to miss. If someone says you're going to die at 89 years old, well, then I just, you know, make sure I live the best life that I can until such day. The problem is if you could know the day that you die, you can't control the day that you die. So if I can't change it, then what am I going to do? I might as well just not know that way.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Green]

I go blissfully unaware into the night, as I always do, going to sleep. My blood pressure, 200 over 70,000. Just hoping that my ticker is still kicking in the morning.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's all you can do.

[Brian Green]

That's All I can do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, it's all those, you know, Instagram quotes that we hear.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Live every day to the fullest.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Live every day to the fullest.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Live your life.

[Brian Green]

You never know when this day, if this day will be your last. Love laugh. Live. Here's my nipple dance. Yes. Here's my double E's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's my thong.

[Brian Green]

Live. Laugh, love labia.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That should be insane.

[Brian Green]

Cherish every day as if it was your last. I bleached my asshole. Take a look. Lincoln bio. Lincoln bio.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Link in Bio.

[Brian Green]

A K A N Y K D Y, N I K, Y, D Y, D. Yeah. I mean, your life becomes a trope at that point. You just got to do what you got to do. It is what it is.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is what it is. The heart wants with the heart.

[Brian Green]

The heart wants what the heart wants. And the heart wants to live. A couple more days.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Please.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They say bargaining is part of grieving. I'd probably bargain. Like, please just give me, like, you know, if someone said, you're going to die next month, I'd be like, give me another month. Like, can I have another month? I'll be really good. I promise I'll make it. I'll put it together. I'll stop doing the commercial break. I promise I will. No more commercial break. So part of me thinks that. I mean, listen, I am not, like, the most skeptical media watcher in the world. I don't think that everything is a lie or a conspiracy or whatever. I think that stories are manipulated. I think that PR people. Yeah, I think the PR people do their job. The media does their job of slanting the conversation one way or the other to suit whatever agenda they happen to have, personally, organizationally. But this one gives me a little bit of pause because for weeks, even Neil DeGrasse Tyson was addressing this. He said, listen. And he's the one who said there is a 0 or 100% chance. We just don't know what that is yet. Right? He's like, so don't everyone freak out, because eventually we'll know. But he said, by next year, we'll know if it's 0 or 100% chance. How did they figure that out so quick? If Neil DeGrasse Tyson, one of the smartest human beings that lives during my lifetime, said it's gonna take a year for us to figure this out. When this asteroid gets on the other side of the sun, we'll figure it out Then how did they figure it out in just a couple of days? And why are they now pushing out this particular story? Is that true or is there a bunker being built somewhere? I don't think it's definitely not gonna be included.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think they just fired everybody at that agency.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. That's the other thing is that they.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Said, hey, it's not happening anymore, people.

[Brian Green]

How do we know if no one is actually working? How do we know if no one's working at those agen? That's why we need these people. Lifelong public servants and bureaucrats sometimes do serve a purpose. I'm all about smaller government. Trust me, I am. I don't need every. I don't need to fill out a form for everything that I do in my life and have someone breathing down my neck about every time I, you know, shit, or send a zell to my cousin. I don't need that. However, some of these people, lifelong public servants, serve a purpose. And there's like this reel going around about people who have been recently fired by Doji or whatever the fuck we're calling it this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Didn't all these people just quit too?

[Brian Green]

Well, a bunch of people quit Doge because they didn't agree with whatever Musk was telling them to do. And so there's this reel going around. It's like 20 different people. The reel's about two minutes long, and they are fired. And they were explaining what they do in government. One guy was like, I clean up the trash at Yosemite so that you don't have to see dirty diapers. Yeah, so you don't have to see dirty diapers and fast food trash bags when you're driving in Yosemite. And the next person was like, I make sure the children get, you know, lunches for the da, da, da and whatever it was. These people are serving small but significant purposes inside. And those, all those little small things end up being big things. Can we have a review? I agree with smaller government. Can we have a review? A process by which we go, is this. Do we need this? Do we need this? Is this effective? Is it efficient? And then make a decision, but at least give people, at least give an opportunity to these organizations and these governmental bureaucracies to justify their existence. And then let us all know why we have these people around. Then we go, oh, okay, they serve a purpose. Let's do that. I think that, that, that would be a good way to go about it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, just a big review.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but Doji's just taking a chainsaw because I believe that this is part of a, of a movement Called accelerationism, where some very rich people and some other influential behind the scenes people believe that society is breaking down anyway and they want to accelerate it to get over the hump and create an AI lit, AI driven, one world, right? This is called accelerationism. Look it up. And I think. I don't know, but I think I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Want to look it up.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. No one wants to look it up. That's the thing, is that no one fucking agrees with it, except for a couple of Looney Tunes who happen to be billionaires. And running AI companies like this is super dangerous. But we're all. I mean, I guess we're not all rolling around, because I see these town halls, one of which happened here near where I live, and it made national news.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I saw that.

[Brian Green]

Like many national news things. So people are questioning what's going on. But yeah, there's 20 young kids just. Or I don't know if they're young kids, but 20 kids just quit that doji program because they said, probably because their mom or dad called them and were like, what are you doing? What in the fuck are you a part of? Go get a real job. Go to Silicon Valley where the rest of the people are with your kind of skill set. Go do something good with your life. And then because Musk cannot get a security clearance, and because he was not born here in the United States, and because, because, because, because, because, because there's even questions about whether or not he actually is a citizen, they can't actually appoint him to the head of Doge. So they appointed someone else the head of Doge. Did you see that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I did see that.

[Brian Green]

And it's some lady running it. Yeah. And it's some lady who. Her ent her kids and, you know, treating kids with certain conditions and disease as well. And she seems like a perfectly reasonable, lovely lady who's on vacation in Mexico for three weeks and no one can get ahold of her. So it's like they just like pointed the finger and were like, you do it. Yeah, you do it. He'll call you and tell you what. He'll tweet at you, exit you, whatever you call it, and you do it. It's unbelievable. What the fuck is going on?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know either. This is one bad episode of the Commercial Break. There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration that is saying something because this is probably the worst organization in the history of LLCs. I'm telling you that right now. No Doubt about it. All right, let's do this. I don't want to get on a rant because people hate when I get on. Well, some people like it, but, you know, some people like it, but those are the only people that are still listening. Since our numbers are going down and not up, let's take a break. I'll take a deep breath, and we'll get to what we really enjoy doing. Making fun of pickup artists.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Green]

We'll be back.

[Rachel (voice of God, show announcer)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. I'm out on our little break. I'm over at the local coffee shop, and I'm talking to one of the people behind the counter, and they say, I want to start my own podcast. To which I reply, you already have more listeners than we do. But their question to me was, what do I need in order to launch a podcast? A microphone, an idea, and a website. And our good friends at Squarespace, they have the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're creating content, selling something, offering a service, or just want to keep people informed about your comings and goings, you can build your website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. And if a website is a building block of a business, what's the building blocks of the website? Two things in my opinion. Number one, design. You got to have a good looking design. And Squarespace has a collection of cutting edge design tools that anyone can use to build a website that fits your brand perfectly. Number two, building block, you have to be found. As I've often said about podcasting, if you want to be heard, you have to get found. No different out there on the world wide web. And search engine optimization is the key to doing that. While some companies and services may charge thousands or tens of thousands of dollars for search engine optim optimization, it's included with every single website on Squarespace. And the great news about all of this is you do not have to be some designer, programmer, search engine optimization expert. Squarespace is designed to help me build a website and if I can do it, you can do it. I'm really not all that smart. Go to squarespace.com commercial to save 10 off your purchase of a website or domain using the code commercial and start building your business or grow the one that you have or refresh that multi billion dollar conglomerate. Squarespace.com commercial and when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the code commercial. And thank you to Squarespace for always being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

Hello, it's Lena Dunham. I host a podcast called the C Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

[Brian Green]

What is up?

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

It's a chat show about women whose society is called Crazy.

[Sponsor voice or additional guest]

We're going to be rediscovering the stories.

[Brian Green]

Of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad.

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

Listen to and follow the C Word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett. Available now wherever you get your podcasts.

[Rachel (voice of God, show announcer)]

Whether it's a date night, a special.

[Brian Green]

Event, or just another Tuesday, our over.

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

800 stylists are here to help you.

[Rachel (voice of God, show announcer)]

Look and feel your best. We're about personalized style that fits your life, made for real life moments.

[Brian Green]

Maurices. Okay, all right, off our doji and on to our PUAs. Chrissy, I'm strolling on the Internet as you do, as I do like to do. And you know, because of my search history on YouTube, I have an eclectic mix of things that will come up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The algorithm.

[Brian Green]

The algorithm. I'm telling you. National treasure. My search history on that computer and my search history on YouTube and Instagram. National Treasure. National Treasure. Why? I don't know. But if you're into bikinis and crazy people, you're gonna love my search history, so I'm sure you can't love those two things. Well, I mean, I am a boy. Here's the thing. Somebody put out a reel the other day. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm justifying my bikini watching. Here's the thing I'm putting on. I'm flipping through Instagram the other day and there is a gentleman and he says Instagram is so rigged, the algorithm is so rigged toward racy content for any male. And I'm gonna prove to you why. So then he explains that he's got three different Instagram accounts. His personal, his business, and then a finsta, a fake Instagram account that he can use. I forgot where. He explains he can use probably to stalk his ex girlfriend or whatever, but, you know, probably for nefarious purpose. But he explains this and he says in all three of those, I, you know, it's me that owns the account. So they know that I'm male. They know that I am attracted to women. They must, right? He goes, anytime that I go to search on my business, on my personal or on my finsa, all of the pictures that pull up are half naked women, women in bikinis or some other kind of racy content. He's like, on my, on my business account, I have never, not once searched for anything like sex related, right? Never. Not once. And he says that I did an informal poll amongst my guy friends and they all say the same thing is on Instagram. When they search, all that gets shown is pictures of girls in bikinis. And so while Instagram purports to not want this content on, you know, know, it's not that they don't want the content, but they don't promote that kind of content. Every guy out there seems to be getting the same content, which is bikinis. So do you believe me, Astrid? Okay. I was trolling on the Internet as you do, as I do, and I found a new pua for us to talk about. He's giving a one and a half. We're not going to go through all one and a half hours. Maybe we will. I don't know. He's giving a one and a half hour course on how to pick up women as they often do. He's got kind of a new spin on it. He's got a little bit of a different spin. This is a little bit of a different spin. It's not far off from what we hear on other pickup artists in the community.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Sticky eyes. You're giving me the sticky eye? The sticky eye. Okay, let's take a listen to this guy. Oh, Christina will You there. You. I mean, Tina. Tina. Well, your name is. No, it's okay.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Game just approaching women. It's about building.

[Brian Green]

Old habits die hard. Old habits die hard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. To Christina and to Tina. I apologize. I mean, her name is Christina, but we call her Tina. Right.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

A life worthy of attracting those beautiful women. And when you get so good at this game, you won't even have to approach women. You will just become the man, and women will come to you.

[Brian Green]

You are gonna be a pussy magnet.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm gonna be the man, and women will come towards you.

[Brian Green]

You ever got in a magnet from.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like, oh, my God, his shirt. Do you see what it says? It says, no wife, happy life.

[Brian Green]

That's right, Chrissy. No wife, happy life. That's how we do it. You ever gotten a new magnet from the dry cleaner or something like that? And you go and you just throw it on your refrigerator and it sticks. It's a game you play. That's what happens when. And you are officially a pussy magnet. Labia literally stuck on your face.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Flip the whole game on him. Now. You're not the guy running around doing pickup lines. Now you're the guy sitting back controlling things. And women are like, who is that guy? I want to get to know him.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Who's that guy with the whiteboard behind?

[Brian Green]

Who's that guy with the whiteboard and a overly wordy poster next to him?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What is that?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. When you're not working your game, remember someone somewhere is working on their game. And when your dream girl shows up, he will get her. Says, Ryan Wamanes, master pick of our master.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Master?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Tina was asking, like, what gives them the qualification of master? Well, I think it's the spider man tattoo on his elbow. I think that gives you the master.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That says master all over it.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

And then you get the women chasing you. Let me say that again. Don't focus on the goal.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That lettering is so tiny.

[Brian Green]

This is the worst PowerPoint presentation in the history of PowerPoint presentations because it's not even PowerPoint. It is literally a poster board. So let me give you a little. Here we are.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what's happening here.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Ryan here is a tatted up guy. Fine, whatever. Lots of people have tattoos. I like tattoos.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think he has a tattoo of a kiss on his neck.

[Brian Green]

He does have a tattoo of a kiss on the neck that says everything you need to know. So Ryan is a tatted up white guy wearing a black T shirt that Says MG toe. Don't even know what that means. No wife, happy life. He's got a whiteboard to the left of him. He's got a white sheet behind him. And then to the right of him, not even in the entire frame. He's literally got poster boards that are saying, is that poster boards or is that a tv? I can't think of it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think it might be a screen.

[Brian Green]

Okay, maybe it's a screen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like a small TV.

[Brian Green]

He's got a PowerPoint presentation running. There must be a thousand words on that power. But you. You can't even see it because the whole screen is not even in focus. That's really weird.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's at the top, in big letters. It says, am I going to get laid on this boot camp?

[Brian Green]

The answer is probably not. That's the second boot camp you get laid on. For 10,000 more dollars, I'll give you private coaching. I guarantee he's trying to sell private coaching. But I will also say, when I started first doing public presentations as a salesperson, nothing got the crowd going more than putting every word you were going to say on a PowerPoint presentation. Reading your PowerPoint presentation is the best way to give a presentation.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's so engaging.

[Brian Green]

It's so engaging.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Focus on getting laid or getting the girl. Like, oh, I just have to get laid today. I have to get the girl. It's not about that. It's about building the skill set.

[Brian Green]

All I can see, all I can read is no refunds. Do you see that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, I do.

[Brian Green]

That's no refund. That is powerful.

[Rachel (voice of God, show announcer)]

In bold.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, in bold.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

It's about learning the process of how the game works. Let me give you a quick example of what that might look like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

So here I am here, and.

[Brian Green]

Oh, great. He's doing. We're doing some football sketching out on the whiteboard.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

This will be you.

[Brian Green]

You block, I tackle.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

This is your target, Right? So I'll say, hey, see that blonde over there? Go talk to her. Go use the absolutely adorable opener.

[Brian Green]

So you watch Absolutely opener. Go use the UF wretched breath opener.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

And boom, you go, hey, real quick, super random. I thought you were absolutely adorable. So now here you are.

[Brian Green]

He's guys. Guys and girls who are listening out there. You, the listener. I must describe this to you. He has the whiteboard. He has got a blue marker and a red marker, and he is literally putting X's and O's, showing you where you're physically going to be standing and how you're going to walk up To a girl.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Here's the target.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know that they really sketched it out. This in detail. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What's his name again?

[Brian Green]

Ryan something.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ryan.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I have a feeling we'll know his name before too long.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Talking to your target. Guys are kind of talking back and forth, and I am basically rovering around. I might be here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He also has YOLO tattooed on the.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I bet he regrets that every day of his life here.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

And I'm just kind of scoping the scene, just kind of being like, okay, how is the student's body language looking? Oh, look, he looks pretty good. Like, doesn't have his hands in his pockets. Looks like he's lean.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So he's just encircling the. The situation that's happening. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Like a shark and a baby seal. He's going to be circling around, taking notes, making sure that you're in the proper posture and position to get your dick wet.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

He looks very cool, calm and collected. Like, yeah, this. This set is going really good.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

With Las Vegas's number one. It's okay. Here it is. This is what it says on the screen. More bad PowerPoint, by the way, I just have to say this. PUA Boot Camp video. Frequently asked questions. A few things you should know with Las Vegas's number one dating coach, Ryan Juan Zemas.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Hey, guys, Ryan here. If you're receiving this message, it means you probably just purchased my new PUA Boot camp. So welcome to this quick briefing. PUA Boot Camp Video faq.

[Brian Green]

This quick briefing, it's an hour and a half long, first of all.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Second of all, I'll do that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know where they're like, give.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It to you quick.

[Brian Green]

And then an hour later, if you're receiving this message.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You got it.

[Brian Green]

If you're receiving this message, the asteroid has hit Earth, and we must make new babies. So I'm here to teach you it. I'm Las Vegas's number one dating coach.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

A few things.

[Brian Green]

What makes him Las Vegas's number one dating coach? Is there, like, nothing? Do they actually have a ranker? Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

You should know.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Before we're pizza in the world.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Any place can say that it does. We were down in. In Mexico, and Jeff's like, look there. It said it has the best pizza in the world. I was like, yeah, well, there's no standard. I don't think.

[Brian Green]

No standard whatsoever. Sometimes we're Apple's number one improv comedy podcast, and I don't think that. I don't think that makes much difference. I think a lot of people would disagree.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Basically I've made this little briefing video for you guys so that you know everything to expect before we actually meet up. Real life coaching session introduction.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Oh my God. What was that all over the place? This is terrible. Juan needs to take his ADHD medication. Las Vegas seven magazine. What is Las Vegas seven magazine?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

It's one of those. You remember when we were named one of Atlanta's best podcasts by simply writing out our own article and sending it to them.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

And thank you for purchasing my new boot camp and or coaching and or.

[Brian Green]

Training and one of the best in the game says bad boy lifestyle product etc.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

And welcome why I created this program.

[Brian Green]

Train with the master. Oh, he's like the Yoda of Las Vegas dating. Coaches.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Let's talk about a few things and or frequently asked questions. You should know beforehand how the boot camp and or training is set up. Typically all of my live training.

[Brian Green]

Mall. Yeah, he's at a mall. This mall seems to be a favorite stomping grounds of a lot of these pickup artists. I can only imagine why watching my students win in the field. Learn how to approach hot women. Get coaching from me. DM for more info and or boot.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Camps etc consist of a mix like.

[Brian Green]

A bad local television.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

It's terrible between in classroom lectures, theory question and answer etc and live infield approaching.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God. There's like a guy at the mall at the gas talking to girls that are clearly a little on the young side, don't you think?

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Or drilling and or training etc. Example my 8 hour diamond package.

[Brian Green]

My 8 hour time attack.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

One on one seduction coach.

[Brian Green]

Learn how to pick up odd women. 8 hour one on one seduction coaching with Riot was 199.99. Now only $479. Achieve your goals. Date hot women now. Learn step by step 100% scientifically proven techniques to approach hot women and start converse. What scientist is doing research on this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

None.

[Brian Green]

Oh, a free 15 minute phone consultation. You know what Chrissy?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think we're gonna have to call.

[Brian Green]

I think we're gonna have to call.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

The phone number of one to two days of either two times.

[Brian Green]

Is that Ivanka Trump?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know. It's some kind of stock picture.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it looks like Ivanka Trump to me.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Four hour sessions consisting of four hours lecture and or theory and four hours infield training or a one time or.

[Brian Green]

Theory or yeah whatever you're whatever your week. Whatever your weekend. He's going to bolster that. So it's either what theory or technique.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

I'm 8 hour block or 4 times 2 hour trainings, etc. It really just all depends on our schedule and we discuss all that before.

[Brian Green]

It really all depends on how much bullshit I can spit in a day.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Eight hours.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's a long time.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, it takes a long time to teach these kind. Christy, this is a hack that you're gonna want to know. Hack.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

However, every student and or client has their own unique and specific goals when it comes to achieving success with women. So every training will be custom tailored to meet the specific and unique goals of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I thought if we were reviewing this we had already bought it.

[Brian Green]

We already bought it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But this is the diamond.

[Brian Green]

Well, he needs you to get the diamond package. Chrissy, listen, you're only gonna learn so much by going to the in person boot camp where he'll be swirling around you all afternoon at the mall. Yeah, listen, you can get the diamond package or the mall package. The mall package. Not at. We're not teaching as much technique in theory as we're doing during the diamond package. Where we go to the outlet malls. That's really where a lot of women go. The TGI Fridays Cheesecake Factory student and or client.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

For example. Some students goals may be to just find love or a girlfriend and or wife or the perfect partner. While others may just want to learn how to get laid fast. More women.

[Brian Green]

Get them digits.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Students may just be seeking more confidence during social situations or learn how to manage their social anxiety in a public.

[Brian Green]

This is some of the worst marketing I have ever seen. This is like you've been to Vegas, right?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You've been to Vegas. Okay. You go to Vegas and you'll find that there's a lot of people who are obviously looking for an extra dollar or two. They might be down on their luck. They might not have that much money. They're being paid by some strip club or brothel to hand out these flyers. These look like those flyers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's what it looks like all put together.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Firemen while dealing with other people. While other students are already successful with women and are now trying to take their game to the next level or may even eventually want to become a coach themselves. Who this program is for generally students who have already either previously gotten Skype and or zoom video coaching and who have done at least a one hour session.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hello and thank you for purchasing my new bootcamp coaching, slash training, slash product, et cetera.

[Brian Green]

This is crazy. Okay, so let's read A little bit of this because now we're just reading a PowerPoint presentation. I didn't realize we were going to go down this PowerPoint road, but okay, we'll roll with it. How the boot camp training is set up. Typically, all of my live trainings, boot camps, et cetera. He uses a lot of et cetera consist of a mix of between. A mix between in classroom lectures, theory Q and A, et cetera, and live infield, approaching drilling training, et cetera. Example, my 8 hour diamond package consists of 1 to 2 days of either 2 times 4 hour sessions consisting of 4 hours lecture or theory and 4 hours of infield training or 1 on 1 by 8 coaching, a block of 2x2, 4 coaching, etc. However, every student or client must get their own unique and specific goals when it comes to achieving success. He just literally read that entire PowerPoint slide and then he put it on there word for word. Ryan, I don't know about your pickup artist skills, but I know some people who can help you with your presentation. This is terrible, bro.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

With me or who have already been through my bronze and gold trainings or one of my other live trainings and or seminars. But this is definitely not mandatory. So let's talk about the purpose of boot camp. What is the purpose of taking a PUA boot camp? Approaching women is a skill set which can be developed via practice and repetition. Learning how to pick up women is no different than learning any other skill set.

[Brian Green]

Okay? I think what we've learned about Ryan is that he is the world's worst PowerPoint presentation skills. When I saw some of this video, I thought this was really promising. But now what I'm learning is that Ryan is just reading slide by slide, thousands of words that he has typed out and he's putting those on the video so that you can read along with him. Ryan, if your PUA skills are anything like your meeting skills, do not buy this class. Do not buy it. You're going to be stuck in a hot hotel room, probably a Holiday Inn somewhere off the strip, listening to Ryan read his own bullshit with a lot of et cetera, spelling mistakes, punctuations, a lot. This guy writes copy like I write text messages. Do you know what I'm saying? This is a problem. Society today is that we're just not teaching these kids how to write. This kid, this guy needs some grammar lessons before he's gonna get some POA lessons. But hey, listen, don't, don't believe that. If you don't believe the PowerPoint slide, believe Ryan when he says you can have dating coach, technique, theory, get married, get laid, etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. All right, we're gonna take a break, and then we'll find some actual content here, and we'll get back to it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Truck.

[Rachel (voice of God, show announcer)]

Rachel here while Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring, and we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCD disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] thecommercial break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell, and if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car, not so much.

[Brian Green]

We're really doing this, huh?

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your VIN or license, and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning, and they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

[Brian Green]

Bye. Bye, Truckee.

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

Of course, we kept the favorite.

[Brian Green]

Hello, other Truckee.

[Guest voice actors (e.g., Lena Dunham, Kristen Bell)]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply.

[Brian Green]

All right, and we're back. Now, we've managed to scroll our way through something interesting here with Ryan. Yeah, I mean, listen, I was just telling Chrissy, I think that there was one time when we, Rafa and I owned the Internet marketing company, and there was a guy who came in to pitch us on something. I forgot what it was. He came in to pitch us on something, and he sat down and he put up a PowerPoint presentation with thousands of words on it, and they were all bullet pointed. And he started reading line by line through it. And about two pages in, Rafael and I were like, sorry, this is not for us.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Just leave that with us.

[Brian Green]

Just leave that with Us, if you came here to read it, we can do that on our own, and we won't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And we will not do that.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Number one, top dating and success coach and have taught thousands of men just like you from all over the world how to become more successful.

[Brian Green]

This video is terrible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

At a mall outside of Forever 21.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, dude. I mean, listen, this makes me. This makes me pine for John Anthony lifestyle because at least his videos are interesting. At least you can watch his videos.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

With their interactions with women. Think of me just like a football coach, and you're like a player on the team. I give you.

[Brian Green]

Let's go get that. Get suited up. Get. Let's go. Hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Oh, the plays on how to approach and meet women. I tell you exactly what to do.

[Brian Green]

And say, oh, my God. There's a video playing in the background, a background video where there's guys at the mall that are leaning over. They're. He's. They're downstairs. This guy is on a balcony, like, you know, on the upstairs, looking down into this courtyard area, and he is talking in a microphone. And these guys have earpieces in. Do you not. Are you not automatically suspicious of a guy who starts coming up to you with an earphone with an earpiece in? Like, what are you, Secret Service? Who am I talking to?

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

I instruct you how to stand, how to move, how to dress, how to act, and what to do through each.

[Brian Green]

And I will instruct you on how to be exactly who you are not.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Look at the. Look at the.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's the.

[Brian Green]

Transcript.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Transcript. Yes. Date.

[Brian Green]

Date. Let's reenact this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You ready?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You'll be the target. I'll be Dave.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Are there Starbucks around here? Are there Starbucks around here?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, there.

[Brian Green]

Thanks.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Starbucks. See?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay. Hey, thanks. Are you from around here?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Eject button.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Ejaculate button.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This is crazy.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Good for. Good for Ryan.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That looks like that did not produce anything.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And by the way, he's talking to a girl who's running a kiosk. Are there Starbucks around here? I don't think Starbucks is a word. Are there Starbucks around here?

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

The process, then you simply follow the directions, memorize the process for yourself, and next thing you know, a beautiful woman is now giving you her phone number and agreeing to meet up with you. You for a date.

[Brian Green]

We are watching in what they call in the field footage while. While Ryan is incessantly babbling on about his PowerPoint he is showing in the background live footage of his clients at the mall, in the food court. YouTube.com the commercial break. You gotta go watch this. He's showing footage of his clients in a mall hitting on the girls running the kiosk stand. Some lady having lunch, you know, girls at a jean store. Meanwhile, his client is balding, wearing glass. His client is me. Basically, his client looks like me. And he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s, I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is gonna walk away with any of these girls phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Not the real ones.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, not the real ones. That's true.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and quote, rinse and repeat again. It's just like me being a master chef and, or cook and, or baker, etc.

[Brian Green]

And you, etc. Etc. Etc. Loves that etc.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Like an apprentice. And I am teaching you how to bake a chocolate cake, for example. I tell you what ingredients you need at the store.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Leaning on the counter and talking to the girl behind the counter.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because that's her job. Her job is to talk to you. Anybody in a service environment. If I'm a pickup artist, and I'm not, this has been well noted, history will go down and I will not have pickup artist on my grave. Whatever the opposite of pickup artist is. A dump artist. That's what I am. I'm a dump artist. Whatever that is. Whatever that means pickup artist. If I am one of those. The first thing I am telling my clients is that customer service related interactions are not considered interactions that are valuable because they are paid to interact with you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like the strip club.

[Brian Green]

Like the strip club. You don't go to a strip club to pick up a girl. The most expensive thing in a strip club is what? How I hope she comes home with me and I will pay endless amounts of money to see that that happens. That's it. The entire universe of strip clubs runs.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

On hope is milk, oil, eggs, chocolate, etc and in that proportions to use and how to mix them together properly, how to grease the pans, how to set the oven to the right temperature, how to ice the cake, and how to serve and present the cake with, et cetera.

[Brian Green]

The name of this episode is etc. No doubt about it. Or Etc.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

It's the same exact thing with picking up women.

[Brian Green]

It's just a process oh my God. So he's the more in the field footage where he is pushing a guy, literally physically throwing him and now go and talk to this girl.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Once you learn the process, you will be able to go out and pick up women.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh my God.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Where and anytime you want. You might also use the metaphor of learning how to build a house.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Who was that?

[Brian Green]

You might be a. No idea. Yeah, I don't know. Now we just have random footage. Now he's showing you phone numbers. Nobu. He's got Nobu in his phone. First of all, that's an iPhone3.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Carpenter with all the raw materials. That is the lumber, the cement, the screws, the nails, etc.

[Brian Green]

I get girls phone numbers, hot chick truck.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

But you don't have the blueprint for the house or any of the necessary tools I.e. hammer, screwdriver, screw, gun, socket, wrenches, etc.

[Brian Green]

Etc.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What is he saying and doing?

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Love that metaphor about the house. Most likely you already have everything that you need to attract women. You're enough most likely as it is.

[Brian Green]

However, that's the most honest thing you've said the entire time. There you go. Yes you do.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Might just not have the know how or the specifical technical specifications of how to actually approach.

[Brian Green]

It isn't a fucking IKEA chair you gotta build. It's going out there and being social. It's not really all that complicated. And I do understand that there are many people on this earth who have social anxiety and. And that's. They find that they would rather cut themselves with small pieces of paper than go and put themselves in a social situation that's unfamiliar to them. That is a challenge. I don't think I can help you get over. That's. You just have to find something in you that overcomes that kind of anxiety. But there are no technical specifications to attraction. It's either happening or it's not happening. And you're. She's either right for you or she's not or he's right for you or whatever. You can't manufacture this by rinsing and repeating terrible pickup lines and putting yourself in front of women and giving them the hand and telling them to stop. And talking to kiosk girls at the mall. I mean, come on, what's that? Starbucks is not even a word, et cetera.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

What to do, how to get her phone number and all that really is just a step by step process. Like I said, you already have the lumber, you already have the cement, but I'm the guy who has the blueprint and the tools that you need in order to.

[Brian Green]

I've got a blueprint. It's on my arm. Check it out.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Build that house. Or just like with this cooking and chef metaphor, same thing. I'm like the master chef and you're the apprentice cook. So I'm gonna teach you how.

[Brian Green]

This sounds like the. Sounds like the plot to Ratatouille.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Bake that chocolate cake. Hey, you need a quarter cup of oil, you need a half cup of milk, and you need three eggs, and you need blank, blank, and blank. Now, if you only have, you know, you don't have any oil, and you only have a little bit of milk, and you only have two eggs.

[Brian Green]

This is an extraordinarily specific metaphor, and I don't think metaphors are supposed to be specific. I think that's why we call them metaphors, etc.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

And you try to make that same cake, well, it's just not going to work for you.

[Brian Green]

Right? Right.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Because you don't have the.

[Brian Green]

I now have a. I am officially unconvinced. This is Las Vegas's number one pickup artist.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Proper ingredients to make the chocolate cake. But that's why I'm there to instruct you exactly how to do it. So in terms of meeting and approaching women, when we go out together, essentially what I'm doing is I'm going to teach you step by step. Go up to her and you're going to say this. You're going to stand like this. You're going to project your voice. Loud, confident, dominant, like this.

[Brian Green]

Where are the Starbucks? Where are the Starbucks? You get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car, etc. Etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

I'm out there being a cheerleader for you, okay? I'm not saying, oh, just go be confident. Just go talk to her and make it happen. I'm out there giving you the specific technical details.

[Brian Green]

First things first, I want you to pick up your right leg, bend at the knee, push it forward, foot down. Second step, pick up your left leg, bend at the knee, push it forward, step down. Now, see that girl over there? Stop. Not the right posture. Hold on one second. Change your clothes, change your voice, change your thoughts, change your mind. Let's put in contacts that aren't your eye color. We need a wig. You need to bodybuild. I'm going to get you plastic surgery. And now you're perfect. You're perfect just the way you are now. Now that I've changed everything about you, I'm telling you exactly what to do. I Am the chef. Let me give you a metaphor, Chrissy. I am the chef. I work at a Cheesecake factory. I come into work at 4:30. I clock in, I put on my chef's apron, I wash my hands, I walk over to the pot, I put water in it, I boil it, I get four eggs, I crack those eggs, I put them in the pot, I get a cup of flour. Etc. Etc. Etc. But wait, I haven't finished with my metaphor.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm good.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no. You skip steps, you don't win. You're not gonna get laid like that, Chrissy. You're not gonna get laid like that. You think je. You think Jeff's just gonna screw you because you're a hot chick? No, doesn't work like that. You need to listen to my chef metaphor. This is why you paid $497 for the diamond package. Diamond package.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Diamond.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

This, this, this, and this. And you get the girl. On my boot camps and or trainings, you'll learn the secrets of attraction. The secrets?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What makes it and. Or why are we and oring.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I guess it just depends on who you are and how badly you want to read through a PowerPoint presentation.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Psychology and how to confidently and strategically approach women and groups of women and start conversations. You will learn how to approach and captivate your audience, spark deep emotional connections and.

[Brian Green]

Wow. What is this? B roll footage. Where does he find this? This is him. Where? At qvc?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's not him, is it?

[Brian Green]

That's him. Okay, that's him. That's obviously him many years ago because he no longer has any hair or all that weight on him. But, you know, that's him and he's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In some place giving these people a pop quiz.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this looks like a PBS studio, you know, like a local GPTV studio where he's giving the guys a pop quiz. If I could only read those questions. Those guys must kick themselves in the fucking balls when they realize they have to go sit in a chair for hours at a time and listen to this guy read through a PowerPoint presentation.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Escalate sexual tension and ultimately build a solid lifelong skill set to be able to attract women anywhere and anytime. The purpose of boot camp is a surefire way to get you out of the house.

[Brian Green]

Are they playing games? Are they playing bingo?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like a bucket, a camo camouflage bucket.

[Brian Green]

He's pulling numbers. Who wants to go first?

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Computer. And out of your head.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he gave him a piece of candy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, he's got the Quiz.

[Brian Green]

He's handing out candy. This guy is a tchotchke. Oh my God, it's bad. I really want a 15 minute consultation.

[Co-host (possibly a male guest or secondary host)]

Instead of just sitting around all day thinking and or daydreaming about approaching women and getting a girlfriend and. Or getting laid, etc, this will actually get you out into a real life social situation with real women and learn from a master of the game that is the dating game.

[Brian Green]

Well, you know what? After this, I feel like I have to get out into a real life social situation. I think this is the worst pickup artist ever. That's terrible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Not only was it bad advice, it's just the delivery is terrible. Oh my God, the delivery is all over the place. It makes no sense. And I gotta be real honest, I'm not sure the that this would work because I'm not sure I could get through it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Absolutely not.

[Brian Green]

This is an hour and a half long, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like you said, I'm pining for the days of the. What was the convention?

[Brian Green]

The 21 convention.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Convention just blew this guy.

[Brian Green]

Okay, maybe tomorrow we need a palate cleanser. Going back to Zahn, at least Zahn was making it up whole cloth as he went along. At least Zahn just made up the. This guy's reading it. It's unbelievable how terrible that is. Really bad. Okay, well, Chrissy and I are going to go read the 42 page PowerPoint presentation and we'll give you the Cliff notes, if there is such a thing, etc, etc. Etc. And then we'll fill you in tomorrow. I do need a palate cleanser. I feel like I need something to wash this out of my brain. Terrible. All right. So bad. All right. 212-433-3822 212-4333. TCB questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all at that phone number. Or you can leave us a voicemail if you want to be on the show. We might use that voicemail in a future episode. You never do know. So roll the dice, gamble, etc. Etc. Etc, etc. That's my metaphor. Also, I like lost my train of thought because I'm trying to read the words on the boot camp. Also YouTube.com the commercial break, we would love it if you would the commercial break, we would love it if you would come check out the new studio, watch us on YouTube. We would love it. And you can subscribe to that channel if you're so kind. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and tcbpodcast.com that's your home for all things Commercial Break More information about Chrissy and I. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. Plus you can get your free TCB schwag by going to the contact us button drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we will be happy to send that to you post haste. Etc etc etc.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It really does cover everything I guess.

[Brian Green]

Et cetera. Okay Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must.

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[Brian Green]

SAT new season, new chaos in college football. Big stage, big opportunity this Labor Day weekend, wildness lives on ABC, ESPN and the AllNew ESPN app. What a way to start featuring top 10 teams like Clemson, Notre Dame, Alabama and LSU, and Bill Belichick's debut at North Carolina. It's so special when these teams collide. Don't miss a lineup filled with electric matchups. Welcome back to College Football Kickoff Week, presented by Modelo labor day weekend on ESPN and ABC. Also available to stream on the AllNew ESPN. Apparently.