TCB Classic: Frankie-cence & Mur

Summary

The Commercial Break – TCB Classic: Frankie-cence & Mur
Release Date: April 30, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this TCB Classic episode, Bryan and Krissy revisit one of their favorite podcast traditions: riffing on videos from YouTube personality and "dating advice" guru Frankie B. With their signature irreverent banter, they break down one of Frankie’s convoluted “dating advice for men in their 50s and 60s” episodes—just in time for the holidays (even if it's actually spring). The episode is a compendium of chaotic comedy, personal anecdotes, running gags (like “Best to you!” and the mysterious “Mr. Franchise”), and merciless evisceration of bad online advice.

The show launches into high-gear with a satirical holiday intro, then transitions to news about the podcast (upcoming break, “The Lost Tapes”), before diving into the main event: the first installment of their "Twelve Days of Frankie" series.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Holiday Parody & Opening Banter

[00:03–03:37]

• Parody Song: The "Crabapple government" presents "Surgeon General Betty Beaverman" singing a Covid-themed spoof of "All I Want for Christmas."
• Bryan's dry disclaimer: “WSHID is in no way responsible for any of the shit that was just sung.” ([01:51])
• Meta commentary about old TCB episodes, recurring characters (Frankie B.), and how TCB’s “classics” gain traction with listeners.

Notable Quote:

“It’s coffee and cream. It’s PB&J. It’s Brian in a bad business investment. It just goes hand in hand.” — Bryan ([01:57])

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2. Catching Up: Sunglasses, The Show’s Future, and Personal Chaos

[03:51–10:44]

• Sunglasses tangent: Krissy reveals her sunglasses obsession. Bryan shares how he was shamed into buying prescription sunglasses that were instantly ruined by his toddler.
• Announcement: The duo will be taking a break between Season 2 and 3 to build a new studio. Promises of “TCB: The Lost Tapes” using 30 hours of unaired material. ([08:55])
• Personal storytime: Bryan complains about the chaos caused by his kids and especially his problematic dogs (Nico and Blue).

Notable Quote:

“I created that. Yes. There was a motion in the ocean with the lotion. And I got that one done expecting fully.” — Bryan ([10:44])

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3. Mousegate: Rodents, Dogs, & Old House Woes

[11:19–22:24]

• Bryan recounts a rodent invasion at his Atlanta home, casting shade on his useless “guard dog” Nico, and describing elaborate attempts to mouse-proof the place.
• Both hosts share stories of surprise rodent encounters and the associated suburban trauma, expanding to a citywide “rat kingdom” anecdote from Bryan’s past in Atlanta.
• Ongoing riff: The dysfunctionality of pets versus kids, and the existential crisis of owning an old house.

Notable Quote:

“Nico is dead, I’m sure of it. If I’m not looking at him, he doesn’t exist. It’s like quantum physics.” — Bryan ([22:00])

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4. Listener Engagement & Introduction to Frankie B.

[23:24–27:09]

• Rachel, the (parody) AI assistant, hops on to promote ways for listeners to contact the show.
• Bryan introduces the day’s main event: “The Twelve Days of Frankie.” Frankie B. is back with a vengeance, churning out YouTube advice videos riddled with misspellings and bizarre advice.
• The hosts speculate that Frankie is consciously aware TCB roasts him and is possibly leaning in to the attention.

Notable Quote:

“I want to suck off the teeth for a few more minutes. 2023 goals.” — Bryan ([26:44])

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5. TCB Watches Frankie B. – "Dating Advice for 50s & 60s"

[28:06–67:33]

• Frankie’s Intro: Cringe “YouTube for dummies,” oddball encouragements, requests for likes, and unpolished self-promotion.
• Bryan & Krissy offer play-by-play mockery, highlighting every logical fallacy and highlighting Frankie's “tealess” pronunciation of words like “sweet” (“sweeze”) or “ghosted” (“ghost”).
• Mr. Franchise, a recurring parody character, pops up to mock Frankie’s business ambitions and style (“We can afford the Beatles, Frankie.” – [41:35]).
• Frankie’s actual “advice” boils down to:
  • You’re only going to succeed with younger women if you’re in “phenomenal shape, your grooming is on par, and you have style and confidence.” ([44:10])
  • “If you don’t have it, forget it. Go home.” — Bryan’s riff ([48:42])
  • Dating women your own age comes with “baggage” (i.e., kids), and unless you want to deal with that, stay away.
  • Don’t “shower gifts” or spend big in the first few months of dating; “wait three or four months down the line.” ([55:33])
  • If a woman isn’t “precipitating” back your compliments, she “doesn’t like you.” (“Precipitating” used in place of reciprocating—much laughter ensues.)

Notable Quotes:

“What is the advice? He’s not giving advice—he says, point number one: 'Yeah, guys want to date girls that are younger.' That’s not advice! That’s just a fact!” — Bryan ([43:49])

“If you’re not precipitating… What the fuck does 'precipitating' mean?” — Bryan ([59:31])

“This is 60 plus years of dating trauma that Frankie has now made a whole YouTube channel about.” — Bryan ([60:36])

“If they tell you your face is ugly, don’t worry about it… If they’re cheating on you, be careful. That’s not advice. That’s common sense.” — Bryan ([67:37])

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6. Closing Thoughts & Upcoming Plans

[67:53–End]

• Both hosts express a strange mix of empathy and disbelief for Frankie’s antics.
• Tease future episodes in the “Twelve Days of Frankie” series.
• Krissy recounts how pet names and slip-of-the-tongue moments happen at home.
• Final plug of TCB’s YouTube and website for exclusive content.
• Seasonal sendoff: “We wish you and yours a happy holiday. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festivus, all that other stuff. Even the ones with baggage—AKA children, luggage.” ([68:44])

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Most Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• WSHIT Disclaimer: “While the message may have been mangled, the messenger was angelic.” — Bryan ([01:51])
• Rodent Chaos: “Nico is dead, I’m sure of it. If I’m not looking at him, he doesn’t exist. It’s like quantum physics.” — Bryan ([22:00])
• Frankie Misspells Narcissist: “He spelled narcissist NARICCISSISSAN. This has got to be one.” — Bryan ([24:59])
• Frankie’s Self-Promotion: “Why should you trust me? Because I’m not sitting behind a desk reading material... I’m not actually doing research.” — Frankie B. ([32:37])
• On Dating Trauma: “This is 60 plus years of dating trauma that Frankie has now made a whole YouTube channel about.” — Bryan ([60:36])
• Satirical Takeaways: “What is the advice? …That’s not advice, that’s just a fact.” — Bryan ([43:49])
• On 'Precipitating': “If she’s not precipitating, what the fuck does 'precipitating' mean?” — Bryan ([59:31])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:03] – Satirical holiday musical intro
• [03:51] – Main episode begins, sunglasses tangent
• [08:16] – Announcement: TCB on break; “Lost Tapes” teasing
• [11:19] – Mouse saga begins; pet and home chaos
• [24:34] – "Twelve Days of Frankie" series: Frankie B. introduction
• [28:06] – Frankie B. video viewing and commentary begins
• [44:10] – Frankie’s key advice: “You better be in phenomenal shape…”
• [59:31] – “Precipitating” joke explodes
• [65:04] – Frankie B. lists all the things women criticize
• [67:53] – Summation and closing banter

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Summary of Key Insights

• The TCB hosts thrive on deconstructing internet oddities and bad advice, using their own life experience and screwball humor as a comedic lens.
• Frankie B.’s “dating advice” provides a perfect target: superficial, illogical, and riddled with malapropisms, serving as a launching pad for the hosts’ gags and recurring characters.
• The chemistry between Bryan and Krissy carries the show; listeners are treated to long-time inside jokes, unfiltered opinions, and spontaneous digressions.

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, unfiltered, and deeply self-aware—embracing the chaos and “just FINE” nature of TCB.
• Heavy use of sarcasm, parody, and meta-commentary.
• Frequent callbacks to TCB lore (e.g. “Mr. Franchise,” “Best to you!”), with both affectionate and ruthless lampooning of their targets.

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For New Listeners

• If you're new to TCB, this episode showcases what makes the show beloved among fans: it’s less about following a tight script, more about sharing wild, authentic banter between two old friends, always in search of comedic gold.
• You’ll leave with zero actionable dating advice—but plenty of laughs and maybe a new appreciation for the quirks of YouTube personalities and podcasting culture.

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Find more at:
YouTube.com/thecommercialbreak
TCBpodcast.com

Best to you, Breakers!

Transcript

[A]

And now, WSHIT and the local Crabapple government would like to make sure everybody has a happy, safe and healthy holiday season during these unprecedented times. In an effort to spread the message far and wide, our very own Surgeon General, Betty Beaverman, would now like to sing a very special Christmas song.

[B]

I don't want a lot for Christmas Just by the autonomy I don't care about the variance because of natural immunity I just want my freedom now the constitution will show us how make my dreams come true. In the state of emergency and acknowledge early treatment. Ivermectin not just horse paste and hydroxychloroquine Vitamin C and vitamin D Then the zinc and quercetin I won't wear a useless mask I don't need to stay at home and my kids should go to school we don't need to be alone I just want my freedom now the constitution will show us how make my dreams come true Baby I an

[C]

emergency let's have a happy holiday, everybody.

[A]

As a disclaimer, WSHID is in no way responsible for any of the shit that was just song. But don't throw the baby out with the bath water. While the message may have been mangled, the messenger was angelic. We'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break, there is something magical that happens when you put Chrissy and I in a room with a Frankie B. Video. That TCB classic I put out yesterday wasn't even on the RSS feed an hour, and people were texting our phone number, sharing their own enthusiasm for TCB. Frankie B. It's coffee and cream. It's PB&J. It's Brian in a bad business investment. It just goes hand in hand. And who am I to hold back? Who am I to deny you what you really want? What gives me the right to be overprotective of these little nuggets of hilarity? Plus, it makes my life a lot easier when you text me and say you like something. And it seems to me that the further I go back in the catalog, the funnier they get. So while today's episode is far from the first episode we did about or with Frankie B. This is now going back almost five years. Episode number 130. Mind you, we're almost at 1,000. This is episode 130. I actually remember it like it was yesterday. For today's TCB classic, it's a Christmas episode with Frankie B. Merry Christmas. In May or April. What day is it? I don't know. We'll be Back next week, live episodes and streaming YouTube.com the commercial break.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. That's another episode of the Commercial Break. Best to you, Chrissy.

[C]

Best to you, Brian.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Hoadley. Here we are back live in studio or recording in studio.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at you.

[C]

I've got lots of fun glasses. So now either my thing. Sunglasses are my thing.

[A]

So either she's been doing a lot of cocaine or she woke up frisky. One of the two. Either way, we're in for a treat. Look at that. Look at you.

[C]

Another fun.

[A]

I know. I love your sunglasses. You are a sunglass collector. I am a collector of the glasses of sun. What kind of UV ray protection does that offer you?

[C]

Probably zero.

[A]

Zero? Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, those are just. Those are just play glasses. Those are not for real. I spend one time. I have spent thousands of dollars on sunglasses that I never wear.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

I. When a number of years ago, when I met Astrid, she's like, you have to get sunglasses. You're squinting like a hog. You're like you're the Grinch or something. And I was like, ah, yeah. You know, I've never had a pair of sunglasses, so I should get one. So then when we were down, I

[C]

never had a pair of sunglasses before that.

[A]

Not really. No. Have you ever seen me in sunglasses?

[C]

No. That's.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

So this is so funny to think about.

[A]

Yeah. So I can't see in the first place. And then I'm running out, you know, with these bright blue eyes all over the sun, just destroying my vision. And so Astro says, you have to get a pair of sunglasses. One of those things you have to do. You have to protect your eyes, especially the blue eyes, because the blue eyes collect more. More light. And so I get a pair of sunglasses, you know, I spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars. These things are ridiculously expensive. Like the real sunglasses, the ones you're gonna use for, you know, a number of years.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Spent hundreds of dollars. I still can't fucking see. I can't see f. Cking see a thing because I'm blind as a bat without my real glasses.

[C]

Well, that's where you have to get the glasses that are the sunglasses.

[A]

That's what I did. So I then I went and I went through like three or four different, you know, sunglass manufacturers to get to one that would Actually put my prescription in a sunglasses and they did that. And then the day that I got them, my son was like one at the time, just like threw them on the floor and they splattered all over the place. They didn't shatter, but they, you know, the thing came out and they've never quite fit the right way. So I never wear sunglasses, but when I do, I. I don't wear sunglasses, but when I do, I stayed at the Holiday Inn last night.

[C]

Well, you're gonna need a pair of sunglasses.

[A]

We'd like to thank Walmart Sunglasses for being a sponsor of this show. When I do, they're usually not prescription sunglasses. They're just for fun. Like your sunglasses there.

[C]

Yeah, well, actually, I mean, I did buy these at a nice. I bought them at the Mempho Hotel.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[C]

We stayed at.

[A]

You bought those at the Mempho Hotel that we stayed at?

[C]

They were in the lobby. They were for sale in the lobby and I bought them.

[A]

That's the weirdest hotel. It was like they had a bunch of sale. It's like a blues, rock and roll themed hotel.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Owned by the Marriott, but it was like a boutique hotel. And then they had all of these picture books out of different musicians and stuff like that. So the whole hotel kind of had this theme. Yeah, Vegas. It's Memphis. Beale Street.

[C]

Yeah. Music.

[A]

But I know they had sunglasses for sale down there.

[C]

I bought them.

[A]

They did. Are you sure? Or did you just give some lady $50 in the room? Or did you just give the front desk lady $50 in cash?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

You're like, probably somebody's sunglasses got left over. I'll take them 2 o' clock in the morning and stumbling back to the hotel. I'll take them in that purse too.

[C]

That's right. Put it on the roof.

[A]

It came with a credit card. Look at that, Jeff. What an adventure. Well, welcome to the commercial break. We're here to hear heading into the holiday season. YouTube.com thecommercial break is where you can catch our special series in the studio. Content you cannot see anywhere else. Please go there, like, and subscribe. Do that on your favorite podcast provider, all that shit. I won't go through the whole 16 and a half minutes of my. Of my things. But the reason why I wanted to say that ahead of time is because I wanted to let the people. The people, our people. The Breakers. Yeah, the commercial breakers. The TCB family, all of those junk heads out here who are listening to the commercial break and the new listeners coming on board. I wanted to let you know that Christy and I will be taking a break between season two and season three. And while I don't like to necessarily forecast what we're going to do. Coming, coming ahead. I just wanted to let you know that we need a break. We need a break. It's been a long haul. A commercial break definitely needs a break. It's been a long haul with few breaks. I think we've recorded most weeks of the 52 weeks we've been recording. I 50 of those. We've been in the studio recording some kind of content. So.

[C]

And thousands of hours of unreleased, unreleased material from mistake.

[A]

Oh my God. You don't know how much material. I'm going through it right now and it's amazing how much shit we recorded that we net that would never got broadcast. It's a good 30 hours of material that never got broadcast. So for you, the commercial break family, here's what we're going to do is that Christy and I will be taking off the last week in December, the first week in January. We're going to build a whole new studio. We're going to come to you with a brand new season, brand new shit. But we're going to take those 30. I'm going to take those 30 hours. I'm going to boil it down, condense it to just its most wonderful listen. Even the good stuff is not so good.

[C]

There were good parts.

[A]

There were good parts. There are good moments. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to call those good moments from the 30 hours and we're going to put together four episodes. TCB. The Lost Tapes. Yeah, because then they're going in the trash after that. We're never going to see them.

[C]

I think you should throw a couple Willie.

[A]

33 Willie songs in there. I could. I could do that. I think someone found an old 33 Willie video. Remember I was telling you that there was like a 33 Willie video out there somewhere of that infamous Nico.

[C]

Can I request Sunny side Up?

[A]

It's on there. It's a four song set. Because of course we took the first 30 minutes of our set and did a sound check, right? And then I was like, okay, I'm done with the sound check. He's like, no, no, no, not the sound check, bro. You're 30 minutes into your set. We didn't know we were doing. I didn't even plug in my amplifier. I was playing a guitar with no amplifier for the first three songs. I was like, wow, we sound Great. It's because you're not playing anything, Nico. I'm currently yelling at my dead dog, Nico, in his infinite wisdom. And Holdy and I were just talking about this. I'm going to take. I'm going to do a little aside here. I have two small children under the age of four. And so you can imagine the chaos that ensues in a house with just two adults and two children. The children rule the roost and they are constantly conquering and dividing or getting together and plotting against us. One of the two things is always happening. And they are loud and they scream all the time and someone's always hitting the other one. It's just like it's never. It's non stop commotion in the house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I bargained for that. Like I knew that was coming and I deal with that. I created that. Yes. There was a motion in the ocean with the lotion. And I got that one done expecting fully.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That this would happen.

[C]

That's forgivable.

[A]

And they're intolerant. Yes. Then they're adorable. Yeah. And they're my seed. Like, I don't want to fuck them up for life. So if they're making noise, I just let it make noise. Whatever. You know, I join in. The other day we had a screaming contest. I'm sure the police showed up at the front door. But what I didn't bargain for and what I am getting upset with and what is almost bouncing on my exact last nerve are the two dogs that will not shut the up at all for any reason at all.

[C]

I was like, your dogs causing more trouble than your kids.

[A]

Have you ever, have you ever seen two dogs like this? Am I being. Am I exaggerating or is this like a. Because people I've heard had some people ask me, oh, man, come on, you know, let up on the dogs. They're just trying to protect your house. No, they're not.

[C]

They're not.

[A]

What they're doing. I'm going tell you a story about Brian's house. Let me tell you a story. Let me show you how much my dogs protect my house. We got this house recently renovated before we moved back into it. It's an old house. It was built in the 40s, late 40s. And then we just, you know, we spit shine and polished it. Basically what they call pane carpeted. It adds some square footage and all this other stuff. But because it's such an old house, there is a crawl space underneath it. And we live in Atlanta near the Chattahoochee River. Anytime that you have a river, you can expect that there are rats. Rats are snakes and snakes and mice. Right? That's just it. That's. Anytime you live near a body of water, the water animals come and rats are one of them. I also happen to have an in ground pool, which is a lovely place for. For animals of all sizes to take

[C]

a bath and frolic.

[A]

Words come and frolic, take a bath, or to drink their water. So we've never had a problem with any kind of rodents in this house. Never. Until a couple of days ago, a week ago, two weeks ago. And Astrid came in the. Astrid came in the bedroom early one morning and she's freaked out and she's holding an avocado in her hand. She's like, honey, honey. And she's like stuffing this avocado in my face as I'm trying to wake up. Who the fuck. It's an avocado. But it had little chew marks in it. And she found it on the floor of the kitchen. So my first inclination is to think that it fell off the kitchen counter. And we have a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables hanging around the kitchen counter. Fell off the kitchen counter. And then Nico or one of the dogs got into it. But a closer examination, it's not dog teeth. And Nico has no teeth. So there he says, Nico has teeth? Yeah, he's not eating anything that's. That needs teeth. So I'm like, oh, oh, shit.

[C]

Oh, what's been eating the avocado?

[A]

Nico sleeps in the kitchen. Nico sleeps in the dining room, which is next to the kitchen. And Blue sleeps in our bedroom because Nico has this persistent cough that has not gone away. And no doctor has figured out what it is. So it's Nico being a hypochondriac. And Nico walks around

[C]

and he's got a pungent odor.

[A]

And when Nico starts to go, yeah, and he's got a punch, he's probably smelling himself. And like, that's gross. What is that? Disgusting. So Nico starts coughing in the middle of the night. Then Blue gets up and Blue attacks Nico. And then Nico just gets crazy and it's the whole fucking thing that goes around, around, around, around, around all night. So we separated the two. And Niko's fine sleeping out there. He likes sleeping out there. We put him next to the heat register. He's an old dog. He shakes when it gets a little too cold, you know, he's like just a decrepit old dog. So the other. So I'm like, okay, I go. And I take Every appliance out of the house. I go through every cabinet. I go everywhere, and I seal up every hole that I know to seal up, Right. Everything that I see that has a hole, I find out, I think where they're coming from, which is through the crawl space behind the wall. And then there was like, a hole where the dishwasher was. And I was like, okay, this must be it. You know? Did the whole nine yards. I used, like, 16 cans of that foam shit behind my appliances and sealed up everything, right. I don't want rodents in my house. I have small children. No one wants a road.

[C]

No.

[A]

So for two nights, there is no more additional appearances of the rodent. We don't see any signs of it. Take all the food off there. Nothing, Nada. Nothing.

[C]

Good.

[A]

Great. Wonderful.

[C]

And you start.

[A]

But then we start to relax. And on the third night, you know, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas. Santa Claus comes down the fucking chimney with two little squeaky ears and a long tail, and he starts digging into a palm tree that we have in our front of our living room, our dining room. That palm tree is less than 2 1/2ft from where Niko sleeps, 2 1/2ft from where my dog sleeps. And it has been dug through. And the vines of the bottom of the vines of this little palm tree combination has been. Have all been chewed up. Nico. There's a fucking rat in front of Nico's face. And Nico cannot figure it out. He's dead. He's either sleeping or too lazy or too scared to do anything about it.

[C]

Yeah, he really ran into the other.

[E]

I'll look the other way, bro.

[C]

Yeah, you're not here.

[E]

Yeah, you're not here.

[A]

Don't worry about it. You didn't see anything. You didn't see anything. You hear your little head? I'm gonna bite your little neck. So Nico, the incredibly acute guard dog, has a rat running around him in the middle of the night, and he doesn't even know what the fuck is going on. Meanwhile, Blue thinks there's a rat everywhere, just barks incessantly at everything. Blue barks at the wall. This house is chaos. It's mass chaos. And it's because of those two dogs. We did see the rat. We bought a camera. It wasn't a rat. It was a mouse, actually. Excuse me? It was a mouse.

[C]

We had a. Jeff and I had a mouse one time.

[A]

Yeah. In your apartment?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, really? Yeah. I did it. They're hard to get rid of once they get there. Ye. Once they get a taste of that Sweet nectar.

[C]

There's a mouse. Did you see underneath the stairs? Yeah, we had like this loft.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And it was underneath the stairs. And I remember I kind of looked. I don't know why I was on the ground looking, but I looked and there was the mouse.

[A]

So what did you do?

[C]

And. Yeah, well, we had to call the maintenance guys. Yeah, we called the maintenance guys and they were able to come out and take care of it.

[F]

But.

[C]

Yeah. Oh my God, it was scary.

[A]

My wife's just freaking the out.

[C]

Yeah. And I know it's not scary. It's not scary, but. Yeah, it's when you least expect it.

[A]

Correct.

[C]

If I go to the zoo and they have a snake handling thing, I'm happy to handle the snakes, pet the snakes, no problem. I see a tiny little snake out of the blue and I'm not ready. My adrenaline is gonna pump and 100 miles per hour. Yeah.

[A]

When. When I was married with my ex, Julia, we had a house over in downtown Atlanta. When downtown Atlanta was start experienced this incredible like boom of construction in the mid-2000s, like, you know, 2004, 5, 6. Atlanta just like exploded with all these new huge developments, like mixed use developments that went on and kind of made the city what it is today. And one of these was across the street from our neighborhood. And when they. There was an old hotel there called the Castlegate Hotel, which used the old Castle Gate. That's right. Which I stayed at a few times. Which should have been called Hooker Gate because it was.

[C]

Why were you staying there?

[A]

Don't ask me. I was homeless and I needed a place to stay. Someone let me put their credit card down. It was a whole thing. Like I was young, I was like 17. I stayed there one time, but it was. It looked like a big castle, but it was really just like a crack den.

[C]

Yeah, it was run down.

[A]

Yeah. And so for years they, you know, people went back and forth about buying this property and what it would do and the things that were under it and all this other stuff. But when they raised the hotel, when they tore it down, all of a sudden what they found was a. What they call, I think they called a rat rat kingdom or a rat ball or a rat whatever. There's an actual name for it, a rat kingdom. It's like when the rats are so close together.

[E]

Please rise for the rat king. Brian Greene walking through the street singing Sunnyside Up,

[A]

Sunny side Up. So when they did that, these rats scurried like there were tens and tens of thousands of them. Is what they found and they really had to do, like, they had to pay a lot to the people who bought it. Had to pay a lot of money getting rid of all of these rats. But then they scurried into the homes across the street over the. Over the next preceding months. And so you would see, literally, a rodent or. Or an exterminator in every house in our neighborhood for months on end. These exterminators were just making bills of dollars. And then there was a class action lawsuit. And then I don't. I don't know if we were a part of it or not, but I remember the class action lawsuit. And so we had this, like, laundry room. And the laundry room had these shelves and these two cabinets on them. This was also a very old house. It was actually built in the 20s or 30s, but it was a very nice house. One story. There was no crawl space to it.

[C]

Yeah, I remember that house.

[A]

So. Yeah. And so one day I walked in there and I opened up the cabinet to grab some things, and there was a rat the size of a fucking cat in there.

[C]

You busted the rats dancing, trying to recreate the ball.

[A]

I busted the rat, basically taking control of my house. Signing a mortgage, basically, is what I. It was unbelievable. This rat was huge. And my dog at the time went ABE and it was, like, you know, going crazy and these things were. We could hear them in the middle of the night, like, you know, making dinner. We could hear them making dinner in the middle of the night. They were, like, fixing up. Yeah, I'm gonna make some ramen, Bob. What do you want? And then we'd come out, they'd be, get back in your room. That's your space. Yeah, it's our time. The dogs would always be scurrying and scratching against the. So we had to have this guy come out and, man, I'll tell you what, it took months, months to exterminate all of those rats. But here we have one mouse. A mouse. I saw it. So I put a camera. I see it. And so Astrid is like, let me see the picture. And I'm like, you don't want to see the picture. By the way, the thing is really cute. I actually think it's pretty cute.

[C]

Yeah. The thing is the mouse. The mouse.

[A]

You know, the little mouse ears.

[C]

And they do have the ears.

[A]

Yeah, like little cupped ears. Yeah, like little teacup ears. And they're. Yeah. And listen, he's just looking for a bite to eat, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I finally found out where he was coming from, and I sealed up the hole. Then I had to call the exterminator to charge me $5,000 to seal up every hole outside of the house. Which in a house that was built in the 19, any house, but a house that was built in the 1950s, it's like, it's just like Swiss cheese. You know, so many people have lived here and, you know, punched holes in the walls for this is or that, or you just have these. You know, back in the 50s, the building codes were a little bit different. Slapped a couple pieces of cardboard on 2, 2 by 4 and called it a house. And it's. The lot of them are still standing today. So. But the point is, my original point was that this is the kind of fucking guard dog that I have going on here. Niko is dead, I'm sure of it. And he. At night, he passes off into the ether and he comes back, he dies. Literally. I imagine if I'm not looking at him, he doesn't exist. It's like quantum physics. If he's. If I'm not looking at him, he's not existing. Anytime I turn my head. And now he started falling. He. Now he has to have a sweater on 24 hours a day. So he looks like, you know, he looks. He looks like Martha Stewart, the dog. And he follows me around all day now. And I'm like, what, Nico? What? Like, what do you want? Why are you whining at me 24 hours a day, but I can't figure out what the dog wants. Maybe he just wants to die. Maybe he's like, take me to the vet. What's that smell? Oh, man. Okay, so. So you're gonna get some cut up episodes that we didn't run last year. I started that conversation 26 minutes ago. But anyway, you're gonna get some cut up episodes that we didn't run last year while on our break. And we'll be back for season number three in the second week of January. We're so excited about all the new stuff in the new studio that we have coming to you. However, it is Christmas time 2021, and because our fans are our fans and they want what they want, I am about to drop on you one of the best Christmas presents I know to drop on you. I've been thinking about this. I've debated it in my own head. I've tried to figure out if this is the right thing to do. And at the end of the day, I got some help from some of our fans. I said, what do you think about this? And they all Said for sure.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Like do it right. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[F]

Hi cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race compliment. Chrissy's in innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video. YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[A]

I present to you part one of the twelve Days of Frankie. Ladies and gentlemen, Frankie B. Is back. And he's back with a vengeance. He's posting videos like every third day now.

[C]

Like the guy spelling words like crazy.

[A]

Yeah, he's. Oh my God. Brian.

[C]

Brian sent me a picture, a screenshot of one of Frankie's posts.

[A]

Videos.

[C]

Yeah, and in the words it was

[A]

all misspelled, the thumbnail said how to know you're dating a narcissist with no T. He spelled narcissist N A R I, C C I, S S I S S A N. This has got to be one.

[C]

I mean, he must not have people that I have.

[A]

I have a suspicion and I don't want to get too like big headed about this. Like I, I never. It's hard for me to know if like anything we do actually touches the rest of the human race. But there are a lot of people that are using Best to youo now. And will the champ and a couple other people will always send me like when they hear best to use yes, but maybe we're not the first people to use this. I don't know. I'm not claiming to, I'm not claiming to have made that up. I, I, I. We made it up in Our show. It sounded good to us at that time. We had never said it before, but I have a suspicion that Frankie knows that we're doing this. He's tacitly allowing it to happen because his subscriber level has. He's gained a thousand subscribers since we started doing these videos. And I had been following Frankie for a while, and he had never gained one subscriber. Like it never happened. I'm not saying that we did it. I'm saying I have a suspicion. And I know that. I know that our fans are posting comments on his YouTube because they're clearly saying things that we said. Right. Okay. So. And I think because we were making fun of how he never said his tease at the end of anything. Like, he always lost the tea. Like, you know, salon sweet. I have a suspicion that Frankie may have done that on purpose.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But it's just a hunch. It's just a hunch. And I. You know, someday. I'm sure someday we're going to talk to Frankie. I know this is going to happen.

[C]

We've got to.

[A]

But not yet, because there's still. Yeah, there's still lots of sweet 20, 22 goals. I want to suck off the teeth for a few more minutes. 20, 23 goals. How's that? We gotta go one more year with Frankie B. And then. And then we'll let the joke kind of sink in. Okay. So are you ready?

[C]

I'm ready.

[A]

I was trolling on the Internet as you do, and I found that Frankie B. Is back with a series of videos. A series. Not one video. A series of videos.

[C]

He's been busy.

[A]

And the name of the series is how to know that you're trapped in your relationship. Right. How do you know how to. How to know you're dating. How to know your relationship is a trap is basically how you're asking.

[C]

That's the first step.

[A]

Probably.

[C]

But again, am I trapped?

[A]

Frankie? Yeah. Frankie's gonna go through a series of bullet points, none of which makes sense. Circular conversation. And he's gonna give you advice that you're never gonna use. It's Frankie projecting his past bad relationships onto the YouTube channel. Right? Here we go. I'm so excited about this. This is the first in four videos that we're going to do with Frankie Video. Frankie Video. Frankie Video. Ah. I'm Frankie Video. Come down to Frankie Video. You want to whack off? We got porn. You got kids, we got cartoons. You want snuff films? Don't tell anybody. I got them in the back.

[C]

Frankie Video.

[D]

In today's video, dating advice for both men and women in their 50s and 60s. Now, you're probably looking at me like I'm some kind of a lunatic.

[A]

Yes, we are. How did you know? How did you know?

[D]

Do we really need dating advice in our 50s and 60s? Yes, you do, because it's a different animal out there. And we're going to talk about that animal right now.

[A]

Have you ever heard of a marampa romp? Have you heard of a velociraptor Dating like a velociraptor? You got to be careful out there, Rocket. What did Frankie get so fancy? What is this all about?

[C]

Well, he's had the car thing going on. Oh, yeah, his hair is grown out, too.

[A]

Yeah, his hair's grown out. He's gotten skinnier. He's gotten tanner. He's gotten older. He's got wrinkles now. He's got a lot of wrinkles. But so do I. So I'm not. Listen, Frankie, call me up if you really got some advice. I'll take it. If you got some actual advice, I'll take it. But he has this really. He used to have this really cool song at the beginning. Like this really cool rock and roll. Not really cool, but it sounded like Puddle of mud. But we liked it.

[C]

We did. We pictured him going around the bars.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, blasting it out. Something about the weekend.

[A]

Something about the weekend. That's right. But now he's got this weird, like, you know, I don't know, what do they call it? Gay Raj. I think they call it gay Raj. Is the style of music Gay Raj? Yeah. Is the style of music that they have. And it's just. I don't think it fits Frankie beat. I'm telling Frankie, go back to the old song. What happened? He probably got into an argument with the band that created that song. You do not have permission to use our song in your lame ass videos. Either that or Frankie got into ecstasy over the last few months. One of the two things.

[C]

He was down in Mexico.

[D]

What is going on, everybody? And welcome to today's video. If this is your first time here, both. Both men and women, my name is Frank Bernardo. This channel is geared for all guys in their 50s and 60s who want to up their game, look and feel better about themselves in grooming, fitness, fashion, in lifestyle at any time, and roofing

[A]

and additionally salon sweeze during this video.

[D]

If you like it, do me a favor, hit the subscribe button, all right? So you don't miss my next videos. And, you know, what if you can give the video a like. That's a little thumbs up right down. Up over here.

[A]

Because do you really have to explain what the like Button is on YouTube? Frankie, if you like it. Let me tell you something. Go to your www.YouTube.com and like the video. Oh, wait, they're already on YouTube. Okay. All right, let me back up a little bit. There's a little thumbs up on the bottom. You see that little on and off button on the back of your computer? If you like this video, turn it on and watch the video.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

What do you think that would help this channel grow? And I would greatly appreciate it. Okay, getting into the topic of today's video. It's dating advice, you know, for guys. We're concentrating mostly on men in their 50s and 60s when any women watching. Okay, again, I'm going to welcome and relish any comments you have.

[A]

So he's gonna relish. I'm gonna relish your comments and your. And your mustard. Can I get my hot dog with onions?

[D]

You know, you can agree. You're gonna disagree with me. Give me a comment. Throw it in the comment box below.

[A]

Okay, so that's two. Two things he's telling you how to do on YouTube. You see that little thumbs up right there? That means. That means good. You see the little comment box? That's where you leave comments.

[C]

Sweet.

[A]

This has been Frankie B. For YouTube tutorial. YouTube should hire this guy. It's.

[D]

It's an open platform and it's. It's a fun platform and.

[A]

What? What? It's an open platform, and it's a fun platform. I'm getting slaughtered. Getting raped out here, guys. No one likes me. Who's this commercial break? What's that all about? I don't even have commercial breaks in my videos. I don't understand. YouTube is yet to monetize me.

[D]

Why should you trust me? What? What I'm telling you here. Well, because I'm not sitting behind my desk reading material on, you know, what you need to do, what you don't need to do when you're.

[A]

I'm not actually doing research. I actually don't know what the I'm talking about.

[C]

Keep it up on all the latest trails.

[A]

Hey, Chrissy, you know why you should trust me?

[C]

Because I don't do research.

[A]

I know you're having a problem with your vagina. You know, you know why you should trust me as your new gynecologist? Because I don't do research. I'm not sitting around reading books. I'm actually in there, digging around, figuring thing out. That's why. That's why I want to welcome you to my new franchise opportunity. Frankie. B's, Frank and B's, Gynecology, Sweets, Sweeze. Who wants to go build a whole facility with a bunch of tools and medicine when you can just. I can do it for half the cost. You know what I'll do? I'll find you a real nice place. We'll get one of those leg spreaders, whatever they call them. You just dig right in, find something wrong, let people know, see it, say it. You know what I'm saying? Oh, God.

[D]

Dating in your 50s and 60s. I'm actually out there living it day to day. So I mean, the best advice is someone who experiences to day to day operations in dating. What. What do you get within the first month of dating? What causes comes in the second month? What do you get? 3, 4 and 5.

[A]

Why trust all those other experts? I'm literally writing a book. I don't know how to write, but I literally have this piece of paper follows me around. What happened in the first month? Well, I got dumped five times. Oh my God, Frankie, what are you talking about?

[C]

I know, he's really prefacing things.

[A]

Yeah, you don't have to preface anything. Frankie, we. We already trust you as the expert in dating over 50 and under 40. Over 50 year olds. Dating under 30 year olds. We already trust you. Yeah, we got you months.

[D]

Okay? Because there's. There's all different levels and all different platforms of dating and all different things that you're both gonna go.

[A]

It's like a video game. It's like Zelda. There's all different levels and platforms and scores and rules and you got to keep track of them. And if there's one guy who knows about this, it's me. Listen, the judge told me to stay 50 yards away. That's a rule. It's a level. It's a platform. Once you go in front of a judge, you're at a whole different dating level. You know what I'm saying? If you get ghost. If you get ghost.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you're. You're at level one.

[C]

Ghost.

[A]

If you go ghost. That's right, Ghost. Not ghosted. That's a whole different word.

[C]

Leave off the T entirely.

[A]

Ghost. If you get ghosts. You know what that means? If you have to go in front of a judge? That's level two. Things are getting serious if you actually spend time in a penitentiary. Well, now you're at the best level of dating ever. Gives you time to Give you time to relax and talk with other dating experts about what they do. It's a finishing school for dating. Jail through.

[D]

And are you prepared to handle it? Do you know what's coming? Well, in today's video, I'm gonna tell you what's coming, all right? So if you're ready.

[A]

He says it like your uncle. Yeah, he says it like your uncle. Don't tell your dad I sold you the spot, all right?

[C]

Do I know or do I know?

[A]

Do I know or do I know?

[C]

No,

[A]

it's like. It's like that friend of your dad's that sold you cocaine. Don't tell your dad, all right? Yeah, Gotcha. Bob. You guys mind if I hang around for a while and do a couple lines? I don't have plans for tonight. No, we're good. Thanks, Bob. Are you sure? I'll drive you around. Designated driver. You want some money? You need a few extra dollars? I'll get you into the club. Buy you some beer? No, that's okay, Bob. Thanks. Oh, man. I thought that cocaine was gonna get me into the party.

[D]

Ready? Without further ado, let's roll. Tip number one on dating advice for guys in their 50s and 60s. Women, too. So let's just put a number. Let's say you're a man, 60 years old, okay? I'm 60 years old. What do we want out there?

[C]

Okay, 40 year olds, 20 year olds,

[A]

someone 20 years younger, naturally.

[D]

Okay, we're gonna go after a younger woman, all right?

[A]

I was right.

[D]

Let's face it. If it's too harsh of words for you, I apologize. And then the women out there, you don't like it, you know, too bad. Those are.

[A]

What a daft touch. What a. What a gentle, daft touch Frankie has with the lady.

[C]

Welcome, ladies. And if you don't like it, if

[A]

you don't like it, go yourself, Janine. You already got alimony. What else do you want? The babysitter was hot. What did you want me to do? You hired her. I'm waiting for him to, like, spill the guts. I'm waiting for him to tell the real backstory about why he's so angry.

[D]

Yeah, those are the facts of life. Guys are going to go after a younger woman. Now, I'm going to ask you something, guys, all right? If you're going to go after a younger woman, let's. Let's use a number as a 50 year old, all right?

[A]

Oh, come on. We know what you really mean. By the way. You've already said this in multiple videos, but you know, we know what you really mean. A 60 year old. When they're talking about a younger woman, they're not talking about someone that's 55, because that's not a younger woman. At 55 years old. When you're 60, it's. I always think that they're like age differences are spatial and. Let me explain. When you're two, someone who's four is a lifetime ahead of you, right? They're literally a lifetime ahead of you. When you're 15, a 21 year old is way ahead of you. They're doing so many more things than you could ever do. They've lived an entire lifetime worth of maturity based on you do. When you get my age, when you get in your mid-30s, when you get in your mid-30s, the age difference just starts to dissipate. Right? It doesn't make that big of a difference whether I'm hanging out with a 25 year old or a 55 year old because we've all been there, we've all kind of lived our lives. Right now a 17 year old and a 35 year old is a huge difference. But when you get to 60, a five year age difference is nothing.

[C]

60, 50.

[A]

60. Yeah.

[C]

It doesn't seem like a lot.

[A]

No. So when you're saying that you want a younger woman. We know what you mean. You want a girl in her 20s. That's what you're talking about. Frankie, you just don't want to say it on YouTube for fear you may get deep platformed. It's a fun platform, but they'll take you off lickety split. Just ask my uncle, he can't get his back.

[C]

Ancient Chinese.

[A]

Ancient Chinese. Bernardo secret.

[D]

If you're 60 and you are going to seek a 50 year old, is that obtainable?

[A]

It is.

[D]

But guys, okay, I wanna, I want to talk to you a little bit here, right? If you're looking for a woman in their 50s, all right,

[A]

you know I'm talking about think 50s, 5,05 equals 2. You know I'm talking about Dink dink dink dink dink dink. If I give you that secret, wink, dink dink dink. You know what that means? That's right.

[C]

30 years.

[E]

Frankie, it's Mr. Franchise. Come over to the Franchise. Frankie, you're an. You're dating your daughter's friends, pretending like she still lives in the dorm with you. Stop lying to the college. You don't go there. Frankie, Frankie, you're getting too old for this. Come over to the Franchise where we have rules.

[C]

Levels and rules.

[E]

Unlike Wee Wee Wednesday, Frankie, I'm keeping an eye on you. I already smell and this video is only six and a half minutes. That's deep. By the way, your intro is lame, Frankie. Where did you buy that music?

[A]

Songs are us,

[C]

Mr.

[B]

Franchise.

[E]

The Franchise. We can afford the Beatles, Frankie. That's why we're better. I see you're up to three views per video. At the Franchise, we get millions. But don't let that stop you From Frankie B's Salon Sweet with their Wee Wee Sweet Sweet Wednesday. What do you think? You're fooling Frank. By the way, for someone that owns a salon, you need a haircut.

[A]

Frank,

[E]

what kind of lotion are you using in your hair? Crisco? Is that Hellman's in your hair, Frankie, that's why we have rules at the Franchise. Dukes is good on your sandwich, not in your bangs.

[A]

Oh, I love when Mr. Franchise shows up.

[F]

Mr.

[C]

Franchise is great.

[A]

I'll put a link to the video up here in YouTube.com the commercial break. But if you want to know about Mr. Franchise, guys, he's in our last Frankie B video. Yes, he made an appearance as Frank was talking about his business venture, Frankie B's Salons or Frank Bernardo Salon Suites. And why it's better than the France. And he said, Mr. That's why Mr. Franchise. So Mr. Franchise made an appearance.

[D]

Woman is looking for someone, another mate. A man. Younger than them, believe it or not. Or the same age.

[A]

Age.

[D]

At the worst, maybe two years more.

[A]

At the worst, two years more.

[C]

What the word.

[A]

God, Frankie, that's the other thing is, Frankie is while. While there may be some valid advice here, it's hard to sift through, right?

[C]

What is the advice?

[A]

He's not giving advice. He said, point number one. Yeah, guys want to date girls and they're younger. That's not advice, that's just a fact. And by the way, that's just human nature. It's not. You're not giving advice. Here's some advice, Frankie, give some advice.

[E]

Frankie,

[D]

year old looking for a 50 year old, right? I'm gonna tell you something right now. You better be phenomenal shape. You better. Your grooming has got to be on par. Everything.

[A]

If you want to make, make up for that small dick, let me tell you these five things you got to do. You better smell good, you better be fit. You better have a nice car. And you better be ready to pay a lot of money at dinner. Because she's ordering two steaks to meet up for the meat she's missing in the bedroom.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You're a loser. Thanks for coming to Frankie's. Come on, join the community. We're. It's a bunch of fun over here

[D]

in about you, the way you dress, you know, how else are you gonna get a younger girl? You have to be the exception to the rule out there. You got to be that older guy that the woman looks at and goes, oh, my God, look at this guy. You got to be that older guy that.

[A]

No, you don't. I'm living proof of that. Don't have to be that good looking to get a younger one. Yeah. What is he talking about? Yeah, he just goes out on rank.

[F]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

[D]

They think that you're only 50 when you are 60 or 52 when you're 60. Well, how do you do that? Well, obviously, guys, okay, it's taking care of yourself. It's working out great Skincare routine. It's the way you dress. It's the way you carry yourself. It's your moxie. It's your style. Right.

[A]

It's your wallet, it's your belt, it's your shoes. It's the home you live in. It's the way that you talk to people.

[C]

I mean, I think we've all been there in our lives, where we've been to a bar or a place or whatever, where you're just like, whoa, there are just a bunch of older people out, like, yes. Checking each other out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There used to be this place in Knoxville that was called Michael's, and, I mean, it was where everybody went, like, it was just to check out.

[A]

It's. It's over.

[C]

Checkout scene.

[A]

The Knoxville Johnny's Hideaway.

[C]

It Is the Johnny Hideaway? Yes. And he is totally in that mix.

[A]

It's Johnny's Hideaway. For those of you that don't know and you come to Atlanta, you have to go to Johnny's Hideaway because it's this place that plays a mix of music and has a mix of entertainment from bands. And every night without fail, it is absolutely packed. And there are people that just turned 21 today, and people who turned 121 a year ago. And they are all mixing and mingling. Smoking cigarettes and having a great time shorting cocaine. Whatever they're doing. It's a place where all ages drugs are involved. Oh sure. Probably one square of that floor at Johnny's Hideaway. It's a kilo of cocaine.

[C]

That's right. Because it's a light up squares on the floor.

[A]

Yeah, the light up squares. I just imagine that, that, that there's been cocaine. I. Never mind. I'm not gonna tell the story. But listen, Johnny's Hideaway is the place where I can see Frankie B. Oh

[C]

yeah, for sure

[A]

I can see Frankie. Look at my body. Oh, there comes that again. Hey, Janine, get the straight jacket ready. Frankie's back. He's got a soundtrack playing in his head. Puddle of mud, I'll be your superman or whatever the that song is. What is he. What does Puddle might even sing? I don't remember.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Okay, all right, back to Frankie.

[D]

If you don't have any of the above that I just talked about, you're not gonna get it. You're not even gonna get a look.

[A]

Forget the go home.

[C]

Well, what does he say you don't have? See again, this is not advice. It's if you don't have it, it so. Okay, good.

[D]

Give it to us from a 50 year old. So now let's talk about the other areas of concerns. When you're going with a 50 year

[A]

old, if most your erection. What are you talking about? The other areas, I've already intimidated by this.

[C]

I just said if you don't have these.

[A]

If you don't have any of these.

[C]

Let's talk about a 50 year old.

[A]

Yeah, now let's talk about a 50 year old.

[D]

50 year olds. What do they have? It's called luggage baggage, okay? Baggage. What is that?

[A]

It's children. It's called saggy tits.

[C]

If you've got children. Get the fuck out.

[A]

Oh my God, Frankie, you just went from telling guys. What are you talking about? Where did this go?

[E]

Frankie, what happened to linear thinking? Humans have been Doing it. Have been doing it since the early thousands. What's wrong with your brain?

[C]

I mean, he just literally said, if you've got children, it's baggage.

[A]

Children, they suck little.

[D]

All right, 99 of all 50 year olds still have children.

[A]

Still have children.

[C]

Still do.

[A]

Still. When do you get rid of them? Still? Think about that word you just said. 99 of women still have children. They haven't gotten rid of them yet.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah, but you come to Frankie's D children. You need to get rid of your children. Hi, I'm Frankie B. I wanted to let you know. Welcome to Frankie B's D Children franchise. You want to get one of those kids? I'll help you do that.

[D]

Living in the house. So, guys, if you're not prepared for children and their opinions and how they can dictate a relationship, don't even go there because they're gonna have that. Okay?

[C]

You. Can you imagine they would have that? If I'm a child too and I see Frank Bernardo coming to date my

[A]

mother, I'm having an opinion.

[C]

Yeah, some opinions.

[E]

Chrissy, stay far away from Frankie. He's going to take your mother for a ride. Tell your mother to ghost him immediately.

[C]

Ghost.

[E]

Ghosts. I'd like to buy a tea. Pat,

[A]

is there a tea? Vanna, here.

[E]

Frankie, here's $12. Go buy a couple teas. Oh, my God.

[A]

Okay, here we go.

[D]

Go out. You can get excited. You could think it's gonna work, but ultimately it won't because 99 of the women out there, they're gonna listen to their children and not you. The children are going to dictate the relationship, not you. The children are going to tell the mother I don't like him. And the mother is going to listen because they still have those times.

[A]

He knows he's got it covered.

[C]

Prefaced it in the very beginning. Like, I'm not reading books about this. I'm actually out there living. And many, many, many, many women.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Have told me goodbye because their children didn't like me.

[A]

You know how many dates I've lost because of children?

[C]

Stinking.

[A]

I hate children. Even my own. Do you know how many dates I've lost because of my own children? Not because they told me not to go out. The woman. They told the woman not to go out with me. My own children. I don't know what I did wrong to them. I only cheated on their mother a couple of times. I only dated the babysitter twice.

[D]

If you're not prepared for all the above, don't even look at a 50 year old tip. Number two on dating.

[A]

We were only on number two. God, number one was really long. There was a lot of stuff in there. I hope this. I hope this video is not too many bullet points. We might have to roll this into another day of Frankie. Of course we're on the 12 days of Frankie. We're only on day number one. Yeah, number one. I'm already. I already can't follow him.

[D]

In your 50s and 60s, and this is one that I had to learn. I had to learn the hard way a couple of times. You know, when you first meet that woman, let's say you get the younger woman, you're excited. It's like, oh, man, what can I do to impress her?

[A]

You've got half a hearty. Your penis is more erect than it's been in years, and it's a quarter of the way. You almost got your engine started. You're so excited. You're like, I'm gonna. I wonder how long it's gonna take me to up this one.

[D]

You're willing to just throw everything at her? Okay, listen, guys, back your ass off. Slow down. One of the biggest mistakes guys make, when they do get that younger woman, they don't want to lose her. They're so excited, so they tie her

[A]

up in the basement. Oh, no, that's just me. Hello.

[C]

Well, he said he had to learn it a couple of times the hard way.

[A]

What exactly did he do?

[C]

I mean, I'm picturing so picture like half a bottle of cologne.

[A]

Yeah, half a bottle of cologne.

[C]

Crazy. Rented sports cars.

[A]

Two or three Viagra a day, where he's just got a raging proprietor. Hey, listen, I know you're only 22 and you shouldn't have to deal with stuff like this, but I think I have to go to the hospital. I can't get rid of my raging heart. On. I think I might have OD'd on Viagra. Hey, do you mind going to buy me some fiber? Can you give me some fiber one and some prunes while you're in there? Thanks. I haven't. I'm all bogged up, if you know what I mean.

[D]

Impress.

[A]

Well, what do you.

[D]

Do you want to just shower them with gifts right away? You want to take them on vacations? You want to show them what you're all about? Hey, guys, slow down.

[A]

I would say back your ass up. Settle down. You don't want to smother him with your car the first day you meet him. Frankie, I love you, man. You're so good. You're so good for the commercial break.

[C]

It's like, oh, my God, it's gold.

[A]

It's like we found our. I don't know, we found the butter that belongs on our bread.

[D]

All that stuff. For at least minimum three to four months down the line. You have to give this time. There's a lot of women out there. You know what? You got to be very careful, guys, because they're. They may go out with you, they may tell you what you want to

[A]

hear, then they're going to steal your money. Then they're going to take your wallet in the middle of the night,

[D]

but they don't. In actuality, they. They don't mean it. They're unsure, but they're kind of hanging around. They're probably still on the dating websites waiting for something better to come along.

[A]

Yeah. Frankie, how many times has this happened to you? Oh, Frankie, I know.

[C]

He came on too strong.

[A]

Yeah, I came on too strong. Yeah. I think your Persona is a little much.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If I'm gonna be honest.

[C]

They did a Google search, found your videos.

[A]

That's right. Of course. They're still on the dating app.

[C]

Yeah, they're gonna stick there.

[A]

They probably have a file open on you, too. It's some private detective.

[D]

Unless you really, really feel her love.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Unless you feel her love. Just do yourself a favor in the first month, month or two, put your money and keep it in your pocket. All right? Do all the right things. Take her out, wine and dine her. You can send her flowers. Not right away. They don't like. Like that. You know, maybe after a month or two, you.

[A]

That's.

[C]

If that's not true.

[A]

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Now, of course, if you meet someone on a blind date, you don't send them flowers the next morning unless you've slept together.

[C]

Here's the deal. If you like someone.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And this is coming from a girl. If I like someone and someone sent me flowers, fantastic. If I liked someone. I mean, if I went on a date with someone and they were creepy as. And then they sent me flowers. Yeah.

[A]

Throw them in the trash. Yeah, but it's weird, but this is really bad advice. And it's. And now, like Frankie, not every woman that ever lived on the universe is looking for your money. No, that's not true. Are there gold diggers out there? On both sides of the aisle, my friend. They exist everywhere. There's lots of gold diggers everywhere, dude. And you know what? Maybe you get taken once or twice.

[C]

Maybe that's why you don't concentrate on looks, which is what all he's doing.

[A]

No, now you're taking it too far. Holy. Stop. What are you doing?

[C]

If you don't like it, too bad.

[A]

Too bad. If you don't like what I'm saying, go yourself. You're welcome to comment down below. I. I'll accept the good and the bad. I'll just delete the bad platform. It's a fun platform. It's fun for the whole family. It's fun for the whole family. Except my daughters, who are currently freaking out over my YouTube channel.

[D]

You can do that, you know, you start splashing all the stuff at them right away, they could be doing two things, all right? They could be taking advantage of you, or they can like you.

[E]

All right?

[D]

But if you're not feeling it. If you're not feeling it.

[A]

Feeling it.

[C]

That was good.

[B]

That was all you.

[C]

That was not a sound bite.

[A]

That was not a sound bite. That was. That was Brian feeling it. Feeling it. What was that?

[E]

Frankie?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

He's feeling it.

[A]

He's feeling it.

[C]

He's feeling it.

[A]

No, war is getting to his head right here.

[D]

If you're the one always, you know, giving her the nice gestures of how nice she looks, and I love your hair. Your outfit looks fantastic tonight. And she's not precipitating.

[A]

If she's not precipitating, what the fuck does precipitating mean?

[C]

Somewhere in between.

[A]

Precipitation. Oh, yeah. Okay. If she's not raining on you, look out. Here comes the precipitation. It's not even the chance of precipitation

[D]

saying the same things back to you. You get it? There's a reason why. Because she doesn't like you. Right? She can say, well, I need time. You know, this is a lot for me. She's not the right person. All right, if they're talking that way, there's. There's obstacles. Okay, so.

[A]

Obstacles.

[C]

This is definite firsthand experience.

[A]

Yeah. Frankie is.

[C]

This is a. I need some time. I need too much for me.

[A]

No problem. How long? 20, 30 minutes. I gotta go. Take a. Anyway, let me know and I'll let you out of those handcuffs. This is 60. I'm guessing he's 60, in his 60s.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

This is 60 plus years of dating trauma that Frankie has now made a whole YouTube channel. Yes, is my assumption. Listen, we all have dating trauma. I get it. But I think a therapist might be a better place to work this out. You're just given horrible, nondescript advice, and. And it's so transparent. Like, if you listen to Frankie long enough. You start, put the pieces of the puzzle together. He's obviously been divorced. He's been burned. Many times people have said that they love him and they don't love him, you know? But then again, you know, Frankie's a certain kind of personality. I don't know. I mean, you know, yeah, this. I think this might have worked back in the 80s, right? But I'm not so sure. It's like. Or the 70s would have been a

[C]

perfect candidate for the love connection.

[A]

Perfect.

[E]

Perfect.

[C]

Spot on.

[A]

Spot on.

[D]

I would. I would be very careful. So, guys, what I'm trying to do right here is I'm probably trying to save you. You a lot of. Of money that you're gonna unnecessarily spend in the beginning, at least. Wait, minimum two. I mean, two is even. Is scarce for me. I would say three months to really get the feel of that woman before

[C]

you for a second here. Because let me break it down here. So Frankie is saying it's okay to spend money wining and dining.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[C]

And.

[A]

And it's okay to get in their

[C]

pants here and there. That's fine. So what was he doing?

[A]

Yeah, first, did you buy somebody a car?

[C]

Like, immediately, let's go on vacation.

[A]

I have a feeling Frankie's dating a lot of strippers is what's going on. Put the ones back in your pocket. Guys, save it for the third time. You're at the dance club. I think Frankie's having a relationship with a dance. Or he thinks he's having a relationship with a dancer, something. We all know those guys. Guys, we know a guy.

[C]

Well, what is he trying to do? Seriously, take somebody on a trip in the first few weeks?

[A]

Well, number one. Number two, what other kind of money are you spending? Yeah, you're buying them a car. You signing on a mortgage. What are you doing?

[C]

A salon suite.

[A]

A salon suite.

[D]

You start spending a lot of money on her. So tip number three and I. I love this one. Have you ever been in a relationship where the girl, she goes, oh, I don't like your hair. I like it shorter.

[A]

I don't like your face. Let's go to the plastic surgeon. Man, I got bit by that one three or four times. I don't like you. I don't like the way you. Oh, my God. Have you ever heard this one? I think you're ugly. I just wanted to come out and say it. I know it's only our first date. I know we just met five minutes ago.

[C]

I don't like your hair.

[A]

I don't like anything about you.

[C]

Let's change it.

[A]

Let's change it.

[C]

See what happens. See how I feel.

[A]

Oh, poor Frankie. I'm starting to have empathy now. Like, I'm like, did you really hear this? No. I have never heard from a woman that I have just. Of course, I don't have hair, so maybe that, you know, But I have never heard from a woman.

[C]

I've never said that. That to any man. I have never said that.

[A]

To say that in the first couple of the years, you may date somebody. Marriage. That's when you say. That's when you say, hey, Brian, you got a fat ass. You might want to get back to running. Oh, poor Frankie. Oh, poor guy.

[D]

I don't like that shirt. Why are you wearing that? That coat you just bought, why does it have a hood? That's not dressy.

[A]

Those jeans you got. Why do they have a zipper? Put that thing away. I don't want that.

[E]

Frankie, I don't like those glasses. It's me, Mr. Franchise. Why are those jeans so blue? Frankie, I don't like anything about you. Why are you existing?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, Frankie, why does that coat have a hood? I don't know. That's how they made it. What are you talking about?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Why are. What?

[C]

Wow. It's too much.

[A]

Way too much. What are you talking.

[C]

Very specific.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Why is that hat on your head?

[C]

I hate that shirt. Hey, your hair. Hate that shirt. Jacket.

[A]

Eyebrows. Hate everything about you.

[D]

What are they doing?

[A]

Right.

[D]

What they're doing.

[A]

They're telling you they don't like you. That's what they're doing. You should run, guys.

[D]

Is they're comparing you to, obviously, the person in their last relationship. The person.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[C]

I know the. This is.

[A]

You're just with someone that's mean and you need to leave.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That they're used to. If they start telling you what to wear, how to dress. Why are you doing this? This. In that. Okay. I would be very skeptical about that. Because she's trying to.

[A]

You would? No, really, Frankie, that's one of the red flags that you'd have is if someone starts telling you they don't like anything about you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Including the fact that your coat has a hood on it. I'm gonna talk to a diverse attorney.

[C]

A diverse precipitation

[A]

for sick occasion mold you.

[D]

And then if you comply, if you can comply once, then she's gonna do it again and again and again. What are they doing? They're trying to turn you into the same person. Is their Last relationship, but only. They're hoping you got a better attitude. All right.

[C]

What?

[A]

I love it. I love this.

[D]

You're gonna take care of them better. When I say take care of them, I'm not talking monetarily. I'm just talking about making them the little.

[A]

I'm talking about in the sack with your

[D]

princess. Putting him on the pedestal. All right, but if that happens to you, I would. I would be very careful because it's not. It's not going to stop. So just be leery of that. Watch how they talk to you. Watch and see if they're trying to mold you into the prior relationship.

[C]

Okay,

[A]

first of all, you can't watch how someone talks. I'm just gonna let you know that you gotta listen to them. But second of all, this is some of the worst. What? Did we get any advice? Actually, did we get any advice? Did you hear anything? I didn't hear one piece of advice in that entire video.

[C]

Just to look out for. If they're telling you they don't like a coat with a hood.

[A]

Yeah. Don't spend any money before four weeks. And if they tell you your face is ugly, don't worry about it. If they're cheating on you, be careful. That's not advice. That's common sense. Oh, Frankie. Oh, man. Poor guy. We got 12 more days of this.

[C]

He's done a number. He had somebody do a couple people do a number on him.

[A]

Yeah, he certainly has. Well, you know, listen, you get up there in the age like, like I am, and you've been through a few rocky roads and you know what to what you like and what you. You don't like. And only if you're lucky enough do you get an angel like Astrid that comes along and saves your ass from certain destruction.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

That's for sure. Ah, 12 days of Frankie. We'll be back next time with another episode with Frankie B. And then don't forget ask. Hobie and I are going to be taking the last week in December and the first week in January. I almost called you. I almost called you astronomy.

[C]

I call Jeff and you. I'll be like, Brian, Jeff.

[A]

Oh, really? Does he get upset?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, he doesn't. Okay. Oh, there's a sunglasses.

[C]

I'll be wearing fun glasses for our next show.

[A]

Oh, yeah, she's always going to be wearing sunglasses for the Christmas shows. Just know that. TCB podcast.com Go there. You know all the drill. YouTube.com the commercial break for our brand new series TCB in the Studio. It's content you can only get on YouTube. So please go there like and subscribe. Please leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Like, subscribe, download the shows, all that good stuff. It really does help out. And I wanted to let you know that tcb, the Lost tapes, that's what's gonna be playing while Chrissy and I take a break and get the new studio ready. We wish you and yours a happy holiday. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festivus, all that other stuff. So this is what we do. We say this always and with love. Oh my gosh, what's that? Oh my gosh. Brian hit the wrong button. But anyway, we say this with love and with kindness. And to everyone out there, even the ones with baggage, AKA children, luggage. Until next time, we must say bye. The Commercial Break New episodes on Tuesdays and Now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop [e-mail] thecommercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at. The Commercial Break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Greene, co hosted by Chrissy Hoadley with additional content provided by Tina Kano. Sam.