TCB Classic: Hey Girl, It's Me...Carl!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "TCB Classic: Hey Girl, It's Me...Carl!"

Episode Details:

• Title: TCB Classic: Hey Girl, It's Me...Carl!
• Release Date: May 27, 2025
• Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley

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1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley discussing their ambitious plan to release multiple episodes within a short timeframe. Initially aiming for 24 episodes in 24 hours, they settled on 12 episodes in one day after co-host Krissy Hoadley vetoed the extended plan. This sets the stage for the episode's primary focus: the "Hey Girl, It's Carl!" segment, a satirical take on megachurch figures.

Notable Quote:

• "If you asked me today, Memorial Day 2025, whether or not I regret having a wise idea to do 12 episodes of the Commercial Break in a 24-hour period, I would tell you no." – Krissy Hoadley (02:22)

2. "Hey Girl, It's Carl!" Segment Overview

The hosts introduce the "Hey Girl, It's Carl!" segment, which satirizes charismatic megachurch preachers. They explain that the segment receives a mixture of supportive and critical messages from listeners, reflecting the polarizing nature of such figures in real life.

Notable Quote:

• "90% of them are from you, the good-natured listener who takes comfort in the laughable hypocrisy of megachurches." – Krissy Hoadley (03:15)

3. Deep Dive into Hillsong Church and Carl Lentz

Bryan and Krissy delve into the history and controversies surrounding Hillsong Church, focusing on former pastor Carl Lentz. They explore how Hillsong leveraged modern music and charismatic leadership to attract a youthful congregation, likening their strategies to psychological manipulation.

Key Points:

• Hillsong's Rise: Transformation from a traditional Pentecostal church to a modern, music-driven megachurch.
• Carl Lentz's Influence: His charismatic presence and celebrity connections significantly boosted Hillsong's popularity.
• Music as Manipulation: Discussion on how Hillsong uses specific chord progressions to evoke emotional responses, enhancing their appeal.

Notable Quotes:

• "Music is scientifically able to change your emotion based on certain chord progressions." – Krissy Hoadley (15:12)
• "We're putting these people on pedestals, when habiting things are positioned, this happens." – Krissy Hoadley (37:44)

4. Carl Lentz's Hypocrisy and Scandals

The conversation turns critical as Bryan and Krissy address Carl Lentz's personal misconduct, including infidelity and inappropriate behavior, highlighting the stark contrast between his public persona and private actions. They emphasize the hypocrisy often seen in religious leaders who preach purity while engaging in dubious activities.

Key Points:

• Infidelity: Carl's admitted affairs despite advocating for purity.
• Public Fallout: The dramatic and public nature of his departure from Hillsong.
• Legacy Impact: How these scandals have tarnished Hillsong's reputation, leading to church closures and rebranding efforts.

Notable Quotes:

• "Every single time we talk about a preacher on this show, they're doing whatever they're telling everybody else not to do." – Krissy Hoadley (55:30)
• "Preaching one thing and doing the other. It's so hypocritical." – Krissy Hoadley (39:34)

5. Impersonation of Carl Lentz

In a humorous yet biting performance, Krissy impersonates Carl Lentz, encapsulating his over-the-top preachery and blatant disregard for his own teachings. This segment serves to underline the absurdity and contradiction in Carl's public statements versus his real-life actions.

Notable Quotes:

• "Hey girl, I'm just thinking about you. I got my vocational V hanging out." – Krissy Hoadley as Carl (29:26)
• "Drunk with your love, Lord." – Krissy Hoadley as Carl (55:31)

6. "Drunk Preacher" Skit

The episode concludes with a comedic skit titled "Drunk Preacher," where Krissy portrays a preacher overwhelmed by alcohol, further mocking the irresponsible behavior of some religious leaders. This light-hearted segment provides a humorous relief after the intense discussion on Hillsong and Carl Lentz.

Notable Quotes:

• "Oh Lord, I love your heavy drunken glory." – Krissy Hoadley as Drunk Preacher (46:48)
• "I want to do it your way. I want to do it the highway." – Krissy Hoadley as Drunk Preacher (51:09)

7. Upcoming Events and Conclusion

Bryan and Krissy wrap up the episode by promoting their upcoming live appearance at Podfest, encouraging listeners to attend and engage with the podcast community. They also reiterate crucial messages about not idolizing flawed individuals and maintaining a grounded perspective on spiritual leadership.

Notable Quote:

• "Keep on doing your thing, but don't get caught up in these crazy characters who beg for your money." – Krissy Hoadley (40:19)

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Overall Insights:

• Critical Perspective on Megachurches: The episode offers a sharp critique of the manipulative tactics used by megachurches to attract and control congregations.
• Hypocrisy in Leadership: Highlights the dissonance between preachings of purity and the personal misconduct of religious leaders.
• Satirical Approach: Utilizes humor and impersonation to underscore serious issues within religious institutions.

Concluding Thoughts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley effectively blend humor with critical analysis to expose the flaws and hypocrisies within prominent religious organizations. Their candid discussion encourages listeners to question and critically evaluate the figures and practices they encounter in spiritual communities.

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Note: All timestamps correspond to moments within the provided transcript and are indicative of where notable quotes and discussions occur.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Hoadley]

Hasn't this technology been around for a while?

[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Hoadley]

Totally painless.

[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Hoadley]

See Mint Mobile for more details on this episode of the Commercial Break if you asked me Today, Memorial Day 2025, whether or not I regret having a wise Idea to do 12 episodes of the commercial break in a 24 hour period, I would tell you no. Nay, no, I do not. Because my original idea was to do 24 episodes in 24 hours. To which my longtime and very faithful co host said fuck you and cooler heads prevail. Dug my heels in for a few days, but when she just flat out refused to go along with the idea, I figured it might be hard to do 24 episodes in 24 hours if I had no co host. So 12 of them. That's what we settled on. I still think there's a chance she might not show up, but I'm hoping you do DCB's endless day at the end of this week Saturday, May 31st and in preparation for our Big 12 episodes, we're missing one regular episode this week, so the math still isn't mathing. I intended to put out 16 episodes in one week, but now it's going to be 15 as we just could not record enough guests to have one play today for a TCB infomercial Tuesday. So in return, I give you a TCB classic every time I do that damn Carl voice. You know the one, hey girl, it's Carl. That one. Based on the infamous preacher Carl Lentz, we get a slew of messages on our TCB hotline. 90% of them are from you, the good natured listener who takes comfort in the laughable hypocrisy of megachurches. However, there is a small segment of the audience that gets really annoyed when I go after these guys and girls I don't know. Call me a throwback, call me a classic. I got a soft spot in my.

[Brian Green]

Heart for the kind of satire that.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Can actually open eyes to the world around us. Now, I don't place any importance on that satire that I'm doing. I just find it funny myself.

[Brian Green]

We're throwing this back to April 15.

[Kristen Hoadley]

2022, if you even remember that far. When Chrissy and I reviewed me reviewing a documentary about Hillsong where Carl was a preacher.

[Brian Green]

This is the first time that Carl.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Voice makes an appearance, along with some other noteworthy commentary on megachurches in general. You'll also note in this episode that the actual commercial breaks inside of the commercial break, the liner where Rachel tells you how to find us on social media and our phone number, and the commercials that follow those Liners actually just come out of nowhere. They're random places in the episode because this episode was made before we even had advertisements. That's how long ago this was. And yes, I do have to pay some bills, so you'll excuse me for dropping in a couple of advertisements.

[Brian Green]

All right, enjoy this TCB classic, also.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Known as hey Girl, It's Carl, episode 173. For those that are counting, we'll be back tomorrow with a fresh episode and.

[Brian Green]

At the end of the week for.

[Kristen Hoadley]

12 or 13 fresh episodes.

[Brian Green]

Enjoy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yes, ma' am. It's another episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

Best to you, Brian. I almost just said happy new year.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I told you no, no, no, no. I gotta tell my daughter and she'll go like this back to me. She'll finger wag back to me. If I tell her no, she'll finger wag. And if I tell my son no, he just does whatever the hell he pleases. But he's a three nager, and that's what we got to deal with. The best you out there, podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, the commercial break, the only one you'll ever need. In case you're wondering. That's it. Don't worry about those other commercial breaks.

[Chrissy]

Especially not the vlog.

[Kristen Hoadley]

This is not the commercial break you're looking to for. Yeah, the vlog that never seen the light of day until I decided to make it see the light of day. How bad bad was that?

[Chrissy]

That was we both made fun of our younger selves.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean, listen, we all make mistakes. We're gonna look back on this in 10 years and go, well, that's a train wreck we probably should have gotten.

[Chrissy]

Hey, we're living in the moment.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yes, your honor. In bankruptcy court. I was trying my best. Look at what it could have been. It could have been much worse, your honor. Could have been much worse. So a lot of stuff to get to today. Let's jump right into it. I, you know, we just got back from having a little break, and so when I was on vacation, I didn't have access to my normal viewing activities. I. Because I will say this about the Disney. Disney cruises. No tlc, no discovery, no nothing. Okay, we'll say this about the Disney cruises. I have been on the much bigger cruise ships and the Internet was as if you were at your house. You can make phone calls. You could Internet it. No problem. You could download, stream, do whatever you want. The Disney cruise had miserable Internet. It. You couldn't even get on a website. It took like a reason, 30 minutes. Of course. No, they want you to buy their Internet program. That's what they want. They block your phones. They have a phone blocker. Because we're not that far off the coast. Like, I mean, you can pick up Bahama area. Yeah. You can pick up cell ph Miami until you're probably 30 or 40 miles away, I would imagine. I'm not a technologist, but I imagine that's how it goes. Yeah, they black your fucking cell phone and then they tell you you got to buy, you know, 300 megs for $30. You know what 300 megs is? It's like one really good selfie is what that is. And so you're. Someone sends you a text message with a fucking picture in it and you're fucked. You just spent $30 anyway. Anyhow, I didn't have any. But that's okay. I wasn't there to watch tlc. I had to do plenty of that here in the studio.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, withdrawals. Just a little bit.

[Kristen Hoadley]

A little back a little bit.

[Chrissy]

A little.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Little Ted. See? Just a teeny tiny. But when I got back, I was inundated with news and television that I had not yet had an opportunity to watch. I turned on my, you know, my Go to TLC discovery app. First of all, are you are not watching the new 90 Day the other way?

[Chrissy]

No, but there is one that that's on Netflix that it's the follow up to Love is Blind.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I saw that, but we didn't like it. We watched one episode and we didn't were into it.

[Chrissy]

I was kind of like, eh, but I'm gonna give it a shot. I thought it's something that we could discuss.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Okay, then I'll keep going through.

[Chrissy]

It is pretty crazy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

And I told Astrid, here's the premise of it. I won't give away anything about the first episode, but here's the premise is that five or six couples.

[Chrissy]

It's the same host.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Same host. Vanessa and Lachey. And the premise is that five or six couples that are on the verge of either break. It's like they're giving them an ultimatum. Either we're breaking up or we're getting married.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Kristen Hoadley]

One of the. And so it could be the girl.

[Chrissy]

Or the guy that's giving the ultimatum.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah. And so they discuss all that on the first episode and then for three weeks you pick another partner. So there's 12 people try out. You pick another partner and you try them out and you decide if you really want to be with the first partner, which is absolutely fucking wackadoodle. It makes no sense. There's no real life application for this. This is just a drama. This is just a shit stirring show. Which I get it. That's what Netflix needs to do in order to drive ratings. I don't hear the same kind of scuttlebutt about this as we did about Love Is Blind in either season. But I watched the first episode and it's just so unbelievable to me that I can't get into it. And here's what I told Astrid when we watched like within three minutes of the show, I said, not one of these couples is not already broken up. They're already broken up probably and they're coming on here as like a last ditch effort or because they want some fame. Because you do not send the one. This person that you're ready to get married to into a home to live with some hot fucking stud for the next three weeks and see if you know his happens to make it into your vagina.

[Chrissy]

Jealousy happening. Of course, the one girl came over and sat down right at the table that the new girl and guy were.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, I read somewhere, you know, I.

[Chrissy]

Listen, I don't watch it. There's plenty of content I can focus on.

[Brian Green]

There are.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I just want to give this. I want to give this disclaimer again. There are lots of shows and programs that you can go to to get fudgeing facts. This is not one of them. Do not take anything that we say here with any degree of seriousness because we do not know what we're talking about. We're two friends, as if we were sitting a bar shooting the shit and one of us really doesn't know it. Really doesn't know what facts are. And that's me. So let me explain. I read somewhere. So let me explain.

[Chrissy]

Similar. Similar to. What do you call the place where the captain of the boats.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Starboard. Starboard. I think that's the right side of the ship. So the cockpit. Yeah, that's not it either. That's a plane. I read somewhere the galley is. The. Is. Is the front of the. Is like the place where you walk in. I don't.

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I can't now. I can't even still can't remember. It's the. I don't know what it's called. The thing, the place where the people are. You know, it's in the. At the helm they're at the helm. But I don't think that's what you call it either. Anyway, anyway, I read that non monogamous relationships are becoming like consensual. Non monogamy is becoming very popular with the younger generation. I don't. I'm not one who believes that you should be monogamous for the rest of your life if you don't want to. You should do whatever the fuck makes you feel good. Right. If that your truth, if you're. If where you live, in your own head, in your space, is that I don't want to be stuck with one person for the rest of my life or at any time in my life. God bless you. But I see this turning out really badly. I see this turning out really bad.

[Chrissy]

It takes two really strong, strong people to have a lot of, like, therapy and working through that to allow that.

[Kristen Hoadley]

A lot of rage happening in these younger kids. And I don't know, but any relationship that I've been akin to like that I've seen in my own life where they decide they're gonna do consensual. Non monogamy, it's just another word for our relationship isn't working. Let's try something really fucking drastic. And it never worked. Never. Not once. Not once have I seen it work out. And I can. You and I could probably name 10 people right now. And you would know who they were.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

You already know who they are. Yeah. Okay. So I get back from the cruise and then I got a whole thing of. To watch. And one of the things that pops up on there is a documentary series on Discovery. Three part documentary series on something called the Hillsong Church, which I've been watching this story for years.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. It's been unfolding for years.

[Kristen Hoadley]

The Hillsong Church. Let me give you a little brief. I'll give an explanation. Right. And I. And I actually wrote some things down so I don't get them wrong. Right. Yeah. Because I know that some people who are listening who have ever been the Hillsong Church, might be upset if I get it wrong. So I won't get it wrong. The Hillsong Church is a breakaway church from a Pentecostal type, like evangelical Christian church based in Australia.

[Chrissy]

Australia. I thought that was okay. Gotten that right Guy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, you did. Guy comes from New Zealand, named Houston, and him and his son Brian Houston, they start this, you know, evangelical church in Australia. Then Brian breaks off and starts another church that eventually ends up becoming the name Hillsong Church.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Named Hillsong because of the band that was playing at the church was called Hillsong. Right. Okay. So Brian's. His father has this very traditional.

[Chrissy]

They should have called it 33.

[Kristen Hoadley]

They should have called it 33 penis church. I'm the 33p pastor, son. Is that up?

[Chrissy]

If they'd only known about your brother.

[Kristen Hoadley]

They'D only known about us, then Hillsong, would they still be going strong to this day? But they're not. And I'll tell you why. Brian breaks off, he starts this more younger version of the church, like hip, like relaxed, not so Pentecostal, not so brimstone and fire. And he realizes something. He realizes that the music that's being played at the church, which is a little bit more forward thinking than most of. Yeah. Like repeating all of the same old hymns and maybe putting a little razzle dazzle on it is not what everybody's into. What they're into are these big ballad swooping songs that are very popular at the time. 80s, early 90s.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Right. So Brian catches onto this and he goes. Or the people at Hillsong catch onto this and they say there's a formula, right. It's the music that is doing something. I'll tell you what it is. Music is scientifically able to change your emotion based on certain chord progressions. There's a whole thing called music theory that lots of people study in college where you can actually manipulate how someone feels if given the right circumstances, based on chord progressions.

[Chrissy]

It makes sense. Whenever I'm in a certain mood, if I kind of want to change it, I listen to music.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah. And. And if you listen to an upbeat, happy chord progression, major chord progressions, then you're going to feel good. If you listen to major, minor chord progressions and they swoop, they like it, it goes from soft to loud. You're going to feel. Or it could be a religious experience, could be considered a religious experience. You're getting chills. You know, think of Celine Dion singing some, like huge. Hitting some huge high note in a minor key after a major. Like, you know, you're going, oh, you know, or Adele, Whitney Houston, all of us who've been to a concert can probably experience. It can probably describe a religious type experience at a concert, because music does that to us. And I do believe there is some God in music. Like there is some universe, you know, computer in the sky, whatever spirit, whatever the you want to call it. That music is a communication tool that we don't quite understand yet. Through the ages, kids can learn how to read faster if there's music set to it. There's a whole thing, right? It's a thing. Something goes on with music, and it really hits us at our core. It's a communication tool that we don't quite understand all the power of. But what. What people who are in the know have been doing for many years, and especially preachers, is they, like, if you go to a Benny Hinn, you know, Benny Hinn is. Okay, Benny Hinn is this, like. Like, huge evangelical preacher on tv, and he's the guy who will, like, hit you on the head and then tell you you're cured of Ms. Or some bullshit stuff that's never been true. Right. It's all bullshit. It's fake. It's a big show. But he puts on this big show. Big lights, big show. And what he does is he starts the music the second you walk in the door and he swoops to a crescendo an hour later. Yes, you have been manipulated. Your mind is in a totally different headspace, and you think this stuff is happening and it's because of God, when. When maybe. Right. But probably the more realistic answer is that it has been designed to do so.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Hillsong catches on to this, and they start doing this with regularity and super effectively. Now, I'm about to do something that I'm not going to put this on YouTube, but I'm about to do something that I have never done at the commercial break, and that is, I am going to play a song because I want to play this song.

[Chrissy]

Okay?

[Kristen Hoadley]

And I want you to hear this song. This is Ocean by the Hillsong Band. There's a girl who's singing. This is a very incredible voice, but this is. I want. This is a live version of this. All of their live songs are seven to 12 minutes long. They all start out very hypnotically, and then they move into this crazy, you know, call back, you know, I. I sing a verse, you sing a verse. I sing a verse, you sing a verse back to the audience and listen to this song and tell me that if you listen to this for, like, 15 minutes straight, you wouldn't feel some kind of emotion either. Yeah. Okay, Ready? Ready? Let's play this. This is called Oceans I Walk by the Side or some shit. And this is just as good as any popular music that's out there today.

[Chrissy]

Starting slow.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Of course it's. And listen, look, it's eight minutes long.

[Chrissy]

Come on, sing it tonight. Come on, sing it.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Come on, sing it. Tonight's your prayer. Sing your prayer to me. Feel it in your bones. Look at my body this Chord progression is known as major minor chord progression, I think. Right. And so what it's doing is it's hitting on a note that sounds happy and familiar and then it's moving down to a note that sounds more dramatic and sad.

[Chrissy]

Look, how many people are there?

[Kristen Hoadley]

There's 10,000 people in this video. You got to see this video. But I'm not gonna put out. But you got to see it because YouTube will just demonetize it anyway. Okay, now I'm gonna fast forward. Get it.

[Chrissy]

Okay, I get it.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Now this builds for another.

[Chrissy]

They've got the drums coming in. The xylophone.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, It's a whole orchestral thing.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Right. Now I'm gonna fast forward about three minutes in the song.

[Chrissy]

They got some hypnotic looking stuff going on in the background. Back to.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Okay, now listen. This here's the call back in response. They sing this over and over again. Oh, sorry.

[Chrissy]

Guitar is coming in.

[Kristen Hoadley]

It's getting louder. It's getting faster. Look at these people. They are hypnotized.

[Chrissy]

They are.

[Kristen Hoadley]

This crescendos into some craziness.

[Rachel]

Boom.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yes, boom. Just like your favorite song would do, right? Yep. And they do it again. Over and over again. Crescendo, crescendo, crescendo. Louder and louder. Faster and faster. More. More instruments. You are totally mesmerized and hypnotized.

[Chrissy]

You're in it, right?

[Kristen Hoadley]

And it's hip and it's cool and it's not the same things that your parents were singing. It is something completely different. Right. This is not the hymns of the church. This is modern music. This is Adele. This is Whitney Houston. This is whoever.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

So they get these young kids wrapped up in this craziness. Brian Houston starts this and it starts out small. He puts it in the middle of a major metropolitan city in Australia and he starts treating it almost like a nightclub. It's an event, right?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Church starts at 7.30pm it goes till midnight. You got a. There's a red carpet that you're walking. Like it's an event. It's a concert. Multimillion dollar stage productions. It's mainly music with a. With a charismatic preacher. And so he breaks out and decides he's. He's. He starts a college like this. Church starts to get huge. People are going fucking bananas. Do you know how many play, you know me plays? That one video that I just showed you has 486 million plays on YouTube. There's over a million likes on that video. That's insane. The amount of money they're generating Just from one video is insane. So now Brian decides he's going to open up a church in the United States in downtown New York.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

And instead of getting a church space, he gets a live music venue. And that's where he puts the church every Sunday at 7:30. And he gets this charismatic preacher named Carl Lentz. Carl Lentz is the guy that we've seen with Justin Bieber, Kendall Jenner, all these celebrities. Young, super smoking hot guy, dresses to the nines.

[Chrissy]

Right. And beautiful wife and kids. The perfect. Yeah. Hip, cool.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Hip cool.

[Chrissy]

Cusses a little, I think, right?

[Kristen Hoadley]

He cusses. He'll tell you, you know, don't let God get away from, you know.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

And people are like, oh, he's. He's us. He's like us?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

People in New York go crazy about this.

[Chrissy]

Oh yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Because they know that any place that there's a line for 100 with 150 people waiting to get in, it's a place they want to be.

[Chrissy]

And Justin Bieber.

[Kristen Hoadley]

And Justin Bieber. That's right. Right. And it starts getting almost. This guy has more fame than anybody in this particular like preacher circle, right?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

He starts getting secret service, like security people come in and they'll do like a sweep of the facilities before he shows up. He's talking in front of 25,000 people. That music's playing. People are going crazy. They've got VIP sections. They start bringing like they'll have 35 named celebrities in the front row. And you know, all the pleons have to sit in the back. It's a whole thing. They're selling records. They're have a donation box that's getting folded a gullet. And Carl, no taxes, paying no taxes and buying property all over the world. And Carl Lentz is the superstar of this show. Brian Houston's doing his thing in Australia, but it's really Carl Lentz in America who is just having a fucking grand old time, Right? You want to hear a little bit of Carl? Carl? You want to hear him talk a little bit?

[Chrissy]

Sure.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Okay. Let's look at this guy.

[Chrissy]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Handsome dude. I mean that dude is like. He's like this thing of preachers.

[Chrissy]

He is the preachers. Even has the lower cut tank top.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Oh yeah. I want to have sex with this guy. I'm just sharing that information out loud.

[Chrissy]

A red leather jacket.

[Carl Lentz]

Dating advice. You ready for this? Find somebody who is occupying their street, not watching you. Occupy by yours.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds good to me. Holler back at a player.

[Carl Lentz]

If you see him in the street.

[Rachel]

What?

[Kristen Hoadley]

I'm just 100 convinced about whatever he said. I don't know, but I'm convinced. Yeah, he's hot, he's. He's cool, he's hip, he's got a little bit of attitude in his voice. You hear that voice like the kids talk holler baggy to play. You see him on the street. You see my yeezys. That's $75 million. I got them easy. Gave them to me, flew them to me on a private jet. This guy is like a rock star amongst rock stars.

[Chrissy]

He is.

[Kristen Hoadley]

You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o' clock.

[Emma Greed]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Want tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axl needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

It is to earn a reputation, even.

[Brian Green]

If it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't white widely accepted. But in reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%. So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook.

[Kristen Hoadley]

In that case, judge away.

[Brian Green]

Based on the February 2024 Nelson Report. Learn more at discover.com credit card I'm.

[Rachel]

Emma Greed, and I've spent the last 20 years building, running and investing in some incredible businesses. I've co founded a multi billion dollar unicorn and had my hand in several other companies that have generated hundreds and hundred millions of dollars. The more success I've had, the more people started coming to me with questions. How do you start a business? How do you raise money? How do I bounce back from failure? So it got me thinking. Why not just ask the people I aspire to the most? How did they actually do what they do? I'm so incredibly lucky to know some of the smartest minds out there. And now I'm bringing their insights along with mine, unfiltered directly to you. On my new podcast, Aspire with Emma Greed, I'll dive into the big question everyone wants to know about success in business and in life. Through weekly conversations. You'll get the tangible tools, the real no BS stories, and undeniable little hacks that actually help you level up, listen to and follow Aspire with Emma Greed and Odyssey Podcast Available now wherever you get your podcasts.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by 5 Hour Energy Cinco Domingo okay, you know you'd like to get all your facts from the commercial break, so here's some facts you may or may not know. I am Hannah hot. I am attractive. I am a super spicy human being. And hot people like hot foods according to the charts and graphs in an article I once read sometime.

[Kristen Hoadley]

You get the point.

[Brian Green]

I didn't make up the rules, I just read about them. And I happen to fit inside of the data points that say that hot people like hot food. That's why I was excited to try Spicy Cinco de Mango, the new flavor from the makers of five Hour Energy. It's sweet, it's spicy. It's a tad unhinged, hinged and sweet. Spicy and unhinged is what my wife might say about me. You get the kick of hot chili flavor and then bam. Mango sweetness swoops in like a saucy little twist. It's basically the drama your taste buds deserve. Hot people like hot foods and apparently hot energy shots too. So if you think you're hot, and I know you do, prove it. Take the heat with five Hour Energy's Spicy Cinco de Mango and their spicy hot sauce. Yeah, they went all in in. Life's too short for bland. Spice it up this Cinco de Mayo. Get energized. Get spicy. 5 hour energy Spicy Cinco de Mango is only available online for a limited time. Head to 5hourenergy.com to order yours today. That's 5hourenergy.com and thanks to Five Hour Energy for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Kristen Hoadley]

One of the things he's really known for is giving a lot of dating advice, like sex advice, and it's all about purity, purity, purity, purity. He shames people who have sex before this goes. See where this is going? It's where it goes every fucking time. And that is whatever someone's talking about, they're not doing, they're doing themselves. It's like thou does protest too much. And Carl was doing a little bit too much protesting about his 33 pp, if you know what I mean. He was saying, purity, purity, purity. Listen to his dating event.

[Carl Lentz]

Find somebody who's occupying their street, not somebody watching you occupy yours. I have a belief with my daughters. My daughter's like, dad, when is it gonna be a good time to date? I'm like, never, girl. You're gonna live here until you're 70.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Why? Because I am also sleeping with a lot of young women. I do not want to run into you at the club and hit on you on accident. Carl is on fire. This is when he's a little bit younger, too. He had, at one point, he had like the long, you know, longer hair and he had man bun.

[Carl Lentz]

But I think dating for the most part, part.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Oops, sorry.

[Chrissy]

I did the man bun.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I think so. Yeah.

[Carl Lentz]

Do something about it. That's the first thing. So if you're occupying your street and you're doing great things, if you're in high school, for instance, I don't know who you're dating and what you're doing. Because that guy you're dating, he ain't got no job. He has nothing to offer you just yet. I think it's a good idea to occupy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, dude. He's like super strict about dating. He's like, he. He would publicly.

[Chrissy]

Because the guys don't have a job. Well, what are you saying? Go get a sugar daddy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, first of all, second of.

[Brian Green]

All, you're in high school.

[Kristen Hoadley]

What do you want me to do? I gotta, like, pass my classes. Unless you're gonna be like Brian and work at McDonald's 40 hours a week while you're going to high school. There's a famous picture of this guy in the famous picture is him and Justin Bieber. I don't have the picture. The famous picture is him and Justin Bieber, like, walking. Yeah. They had just played basketball or something. They're walking and both of them have their shirt off. Well, Justin has, like, an open shirt and he has his shirt completely off. Carl Lentz does. And his pants are. Are right in that, like, man Runway. You know what I'm talking about? Those two little muscles that go down there that are pointing in the direct. Your flaccid cock. I'm saying. It's like a. It's like a little. It's a street V. The V. Yeah, the V. It's a neon V just pointing directly to the happy zone. And just Justin looks like a schleb next to Carl Lentz. Justin looks like your fat old dad on the beach when you were embarrassed that he was still wearing socks on the beach when he's next to Carl Lentz, who looks like a man. God. I mean, the guy is like Jesus Christ. Christ reincarnate. And the thing about Carl Lentz is, why, as a preacher, would you ever be walking around the streets of downtown New York with your, you know, vocational V hanging out? You just don't do that. You just don't do that. Not. It's not V for victory. It's V for vaginas. Go here. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Like, right. You get where I'm going with this.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Like, why else would you be? And, you know, there's paparazzi going to.

[Chrissy]

Take pictures of you. That's the reason here. He was looking like that.

[Kristen Hoadley]

This is a story that has been told so many times, it's not even funny now. I watched this documentary knowing some other things about Hillsong that I think are much more serious than Carl Lentz being a douchebag. Right.

[Chrissy]

Well, didn't it just come out, though, that he was very. I mean, he and his wife are getting divorced. It's a whole thing.

[Kristen Hoadley]

It's a whole thing, yeah.

[Brian Green]

So he was cheating.

[Kristen Hoadley]

And it turns out that Carl Lentz happened to be sleeping with a couple different people while he was talking about purity and all this other.

[Chrissy]

Got to his head.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Fame got to his head. He. You know, and at first I was like, well, who really cares? Okay? The guy cheated on his wife. Like, I mean, people cheat on their wives all the time. He got fired in this big public firing. And Brian Houston, like, you know, distance himself and said, listen, there had been some red flags for a while, and, you know, I don't want to get into it, but basically, this is the camel that brought. Broke the. Whatever.

[Chrissy]

The straw that broke the camel.

[Kristen Hoadley]

The camel that brought the straws back. You know what I'm saying? You know how it goes here at the commercial break. Just twisting words and so. But my initial thought was, that seems awful dramatic for, like, A relatively common offense, right. Maybe they could have spun it like, you know, Carl's gonna go away for a little while.

[Chrissy]

He's gonna get redeemed.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Him and Tiger are gonna go to, you know, you know, vagina addiction classes and we'll see you in a sex rehab, you know the bullshit that they say they're doing. And then he'll come back and he'll continue to sleep with people. Just keep it more on the download. But that's not what happened. It was like a big fucking blow up. And Carl himself said, I did wrong, you know, I, I'm stepping away, whatever. Meanwhile, he continued to like really creepily pursue some of these women on the backside. Like when he said he had their backside, well, that's exactly what he was thinking about. He would send him like 3 minute long videos where he'd be like, hey girl, I'm just, you know, I'm thinking about. He'd be in the car like, hey girl, I'm just thinking about you. The Lord were rolling down the highway. I got my vocational V hanging out, you know, I'm talking about. I just got back from, you know, doing a little workout at Bieb's house. I'm showing him how he gets his vocational V back. So, you know, you know, Biebs getting a little flabby. So I was thinking about you and I. I just want to know if it's okay to think about you. If it's okay to think about you. Let me know. That's. He was saying things like that, right? Real creepy. And he's like, and if it's okay, I'll stop by your house every once in a while, you know, knock on the door, surprise kind of thing, you know what saying, I'm saying like real creepy creepy.

[Chrissy]

He did a really good impression.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Thank you. Holy. It's me, Carl. Len. Hey, what's up, girl? It's me, Carl. Me and the Lord just rolling down the street. My 5o. You know what I'm talking about? Listen, I was thinking about you. I got my, I got my little Lord here. I got my, my walking staff and we're going through the desert 40 days, 40 nights, you know, I got a little trouble for, you know, sending pictures out, reply all, you know, talk about, girl. So be writing a song for you. I'mma send it to you a little bit later. But you don't mind if I stop by your house, your work, your parents house. It's going to check out, see what's going on. I'm bring some security over we're going to lock you down. Lock it down like we did last night. Not talking about. Girl, do me a favor. Don't tell anybody about this. You know, I'm going to put it on video and send it to you. But don't tell anybody about it. You're not talking about. Yeah, I might get a little trouble. I'm married. I don't know if I told you that, but don't worry about it. I'm with the Lord. Lord walks with me. I'm walking with the Lord, my savior. Remember that song, that girl? That girl singing Oceans. 435 million billion billion billion views. I wrote that for you, girl. Girl, it's me, Carl. It's. It's. Big lens and little lens. Big car, little car. Just here shouting out to your girl. I got my Yeezys, I got my Chanel scarf wrapped around my vocational V. You know I'm talking about, girl. B is for victory. Huh? Can I get an amen? Listen, do me a favor. Don't post this one on Instagram like you did last time. Appreciate it, girl. The NDA I had you signed. Don't worry about it, girl. I'll rip it up. I'm gonna leave my wife here in a couple months. Run away, get married. Married with. Okay, so that's all for now, I guess, you know, I'm just trying to chill. I'm just like. So if it's okay that I call you, you let me know. You call me. You tell me that it's okay to call you when I'm thinking about you, but you know, because I just. I'm hurting. The Lord has a big hole in my soul right now and I gotta fill my tummy. I gotta fill my tummy with that girl love, you know, I'm talking about this. You know, it's hard for me to preach on a full dick.

[Chrissy]

Oh my God, I just almost spit my. That was a good Carl performance.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Thanks, I appreciate it. Girl, I gotta go. Talk to you later. It's me, Mr. Carl. Talk to you later. So Carl has a big blow up at the whole church and you know how it goes. It's. It's a whole to do. Right? But that is not the worst of the offenses. So now this is a cup. This is like a year ago ago.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

That this happens in. But the. What is really going on behind the scenes is that Frank Houston. I think his name is Frank Houston. Frank Houston, who is Brian Houston's father, who originally brought the church to Australia from New Zealand.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Was actually having Sex with young boys in the original church. And Brian Houston covered it up for years and years and years. Like, they found out about it. It became a thing. But essentially, it just slapped him on the wrist and told him to, you know, go away. Don't come back to the church. Church. And please don't be in any other positions that may put you in front of children. Well, of course. Of course that didn't happen. Yeah, yeah. He didn't listen, and nor did Brian Houston try and stop him. Now, you know, that's a complicated relationship. I understand son and father and all that whole bullshit. But recently, like this week, all of the sudden, some of these Hillsong churches across the United States, 50% of them, by some estimations, just closed the doors or changed their name. They moved away from. From Hillsong because they don't want to be associated, including the one here in Atlanta. Right. They. They said, we're no longer going to be hillsong. We're changing our name. The preacher is taking.

[Chrissy]

If. When in doubt, just rebrand that.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean, hey, girl, I'm changing my name to Dan Wentz. Used to be Carl Lentz. It's now Dan Wentz. You know what I'm saying? I'll be back at church. Don't you worry. So. So here's my point. When we start putting these people on pedestals, right when we start, Blue, honestly, Blue wants to get into the conversation.

[Chrissy]

Blue has some thoughts.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Blue's in 33 of the 170 episodes that we've done. Hey, Blue, can you shut up while we're recording? Thanks. No, fuck you.

[Chrissy]

When I go out there.

[Kristen Hoadley]

She'S so fat. She's like that. Goes on all night in my house.

[Chrissy]

Oh, Lord.

[Kristen Hoadley]

So now. So now, I swear to God, I'm about to go out there. I'm about to lose my. Hey, boo, It's Carl. It's Carl. Hey, could you shut up for the Lord? I'd appreciate it. Thanks, guys. Girl, thanks. Girl. Could you chill out for the Lord? I'd appreciate it. You know, this doggy heaven, too, might go there soon. So all these churches close. Here's the point you. When we put earthly things in unearthly positions, this always happens. You want to know why? Because people are human now. Diddling little boys, unac. Acceptable on any. In anybody's mind. I think anybody with a right mind on their shoulders will agree with me on point. Sleeping with somebody that's not your wife, that's, I think, a much lesser offense. And I understand that. You know, people do things like Happens. And Carl couldn't control himself.

[Chrissy]

Preaching one thing and doing the other.

[Brian Green]

And doing the other.

[Kristen Hoadley]

It's so hypocritical. But this happens all the time. When are we going to learn our lesson? Be spiritual, not religious. And if religion helps you, God bless you, then keep on going to your religion. You're going to your corner church and you love it and you love the people. It's community, it's family to you.

[Chrissy]

Right?

[Kristen Hoadley]

Keep on doing your, your thing, but don't get caught up in all this. Don't get caught up in these crazy characters who beg for your money.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, they're these charismatic, you know, people that get up there and just hypnotize.

[Kristen Hoadley]

People and then they're flying around brand new 747s that are maced out with, you know, Gucci logos. And you're still trying to make rent. Two planes. Yeah, two planes. Because I. Because one didn't do it. And you're still trying to make rent.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Cutting a hundred dollar check to these people every week. Don't do, do it. Don't get caught up in the.

[Chrissy]

I love that show. The righteous gemstones.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy]

So good entire thing.

[Kristen Hoadley]

So I'm just putting a cap on all this. I just want to update people on the hillsong. The documentary is fascinating. I think I just told you most of the story. So I've probably taken a lot of the bite out of the three part miniseries. But it's fascinating discovery. Plus it's one of the ones that I recommend that you watch. And it's well done too because at first you're like, who fucking cares? A preacher slept with somebody. Big deal. You know, happens all the time. But then, then it gets a little deeper and you're like, oh, I see. It's a whole fucking thing. Yeah. Okay. Now before we let everybody go, I wanted to end on a funny note since I knew this was going to be a little bit more serious. I didn't know Carl was going to show up. I thought it was going to be more serious. You want to hear a drunk preacher? Yes, Just a drunk ass preacher. Just a man who was drunk who just decided to get up there and sing to the Lord. Praise. This is where Carl Lentz is going to be in five years from now. This is the church Carl Lentz is currently, currently at.

[Emma Greed]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-443-33822. You can be on the show too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak Bestie you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're launching your first site or leveling up your business, Squarespace has everything you need. You can claim your domain, showcase your work with a beautiful professional website, and even get paid all in one place. Four versions of the Commercial Break website have been designed and built using Squarespace and one of my favorite things about Squarespace is how easy it makes offering services. You can set up a sleek customized website that not only attracts clients but also streamlines your workflow. You can schedule appointments, send on brand invoices, and even handle online payments. But we must talk about design because let's be honest. Honest first impressions matter. With Squarespace's cutting edge design tools, you do not need to be a web designer to make something stunning. Their blueprint AI helps generate a custom website in minutes, or you can choose from their award winning templates and easily tweak them to match your brand. It's drag and drop simple, but the results look like you hired a professional. So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your current website, now is the time. Head to squarespace squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, you can use the code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com commercial and use the code Commercial when you're ready to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace has long been a sponsor of the commercial break and we endorse it because we use it. It helps entrepreneurs, content creators, creators, small businesses and large businesses alike develop and design an online brand that is beautiful and functional. Squarespace.com commercial and use the code commercial and thank you to Squarespace for being a continuing Sponsor of the commercial break.

[Hannah]

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[Kristen Hoadley]

You ready? Okay. This is what I call drunk preacher. Thanks to Whack Jobs for Jesus for the video. Here we go.

[Chrissy]

He's been dipping into the wine.

[Drunk Preacher]

Oh Jesus. Oh dear Jesus. Oh Lord.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Jesus. Arn Arnold. Do you remember Arn? That's the nudist folks. The American association of Recreational Nudeness. I don't know. Hey girl, I just wondered if you wanted to go to ORN with me tomorrow night. I don't have a job anymore. I figured you've got some free time on your hands. What's up, girl? You want to go to art with me? Thanks.

[Chrissy]

Carnitas Colony. That's hilarious. We were calling it by the wrong name.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, it was. Aren't. We kept on saying aren't and it was like Aaron or something. I don't know. Who knows more shenanigans from tcb.

[Drunk Preacher]

Oh yes, Lord. I've learned a quick prayer. I'll teach it to all you really quickly. Okie dokie, Lord.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Okie dokie Lord. Here comes that Jack Daniels. Back up the other way. Arkie dokey. I feel the Lord in my gut.

[Chrissy]

Oh no.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I can feel the Lord in my gullet.

[Chrissy]

Does he turn?

[Kristen Hoadley]

No.

[Drunk Preacher]

Okey dokey. Lord, I love your heavy drunken glory.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Lord, I love it.

[Drunk Preacher]

Thank you father for more heavy, weighty drunken glory in this house today.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Look, this guy, this guy is like the dude you meet at the local dive bar. Yeah, he's got the full on 90s.

[Chrissy]

Goatee oh, yeah, that's. I mean, it's long.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, it's long.

[Chrissy]

That's a Jerry Cantrell actual goatee.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, it's a goatee. Oh, it doesn't have. But it doesn't have the mustache. It's like a corner of the lips. I don't know what you call that. You call that Allison chains. That's what I call that. It's an Allison chain. It's a sound garden. That's what it is. And then he's got the pants that are riding on the Victory V right there.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, they're about to fall down.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah. And that shirt hasn't been washed in a couple weeks. His wife won't let him back in the house. He's just a mess.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Drunk Preacher]

Favorite little bit of you. Jesus is the bliss is the joy. Oy, oy, oy. Isaiah 30:5.

[Chrissy]

Isaiah 30:5.

[Kristen Hoadley]

What is that? Is he calling aliens?

[Chrissy]

I don't know. He's having a good time.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Calling all humans. Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. We watched a video. We know how to communicate with the humans. So silly.

[Drunk Preacher]

You will be overtaken by. That means taken over by joy. That means possessed by joy. Oh, my goodness.

[Chrissy]

Does he have black nails?

[Drunk Preacher]

Thank you, Lord.

[Kristen Hoadley]

No, I think that's just a shout. I think that's just a high quality studio tv.

[Chrissy]

I thought he was really trying to be cool. Black nails. No, that's the sound garden of it.

[Drunk Preacher]

A teaching gift.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Whoa, whoa.

[Drunk Preacher]

Now, I have a good gift of getting struck mute in the middle of a service. One of those few guest speakers who you invite in and then you may not be able to speak.

[Chrissy]

Is he a guest speaker? That's even funnier.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Hey, Bob, I really like what Joe's doing up there. Sign him up again. He's holding his stomach like he just had a big steak dinner. He's about to fart. That's how I hold my stomach after Thanksgiving.

[Brian Green]

Or Taco Bell.

[Drunk Preacher]

Oh, my goodness. Thank you, you, Lord. Well, today, just invite. We just thank you, Lord, that we have these little fat Friar Tuck bartender angels that travel around with us. And they will, in the barrels from heaven, some healing angels that come.

[Kristen Hoadley]

But let me tell you, this guy has such a guilty conscience, he can't stop talking about alcohol. He's like, I'm so drunk with your glory. The fat little elf bartenders rolling free bottles of Jack Daniels behind the pew.

[Chrissy]

The Lord's blood.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, the Lord's blood. Tequil.

[Drunk Preacher]

Little fat Friar Tucks. They start yanking on your arms, you better watch out, you know, we need help around here. I think it's okay to talk about the angels in the church. Amen.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yoin. Yoin.

[Drunk Preacher]

Yoink. Help. We need somebody. Help. I mean, we think we can get. Oh, just. Let's just focus on Jesus. Don't talk about the angels.

[Chrissy]

Bring it back to Jesus.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, bring about to Jesus. Everything goes back in his mind. Joe, you're killing it. You're killing it.

[Brian Green]

They don't know anything.

[Kristen Hoadley]

It's best sermon you've ever given. You're the next Len, right?

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, he is.

[Drunk Preacher]

On Jesus, don't talk about human beings or animals or any other creature the Lord's created. I think maybe we need to learn.

[Kristen Hoadley]

A little bit more about. I love this guy. This is like watching.

[Chrissy]

Who is this?

[Kristen Hoadley]

I don't know. This is like me 15 years ago @ your house on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, all right. Don't talk about her. Don't call her. Don't call that girl right.

[Drunk Preacher]

Oh, thank you, Lord.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Whoa, Lord.

[Drunk Preacher]

I want to do it your way. I want to do it the highway. I want to do it the right way. I want to. I want it to get done.

[Chrissy]

Look, that woman in the front saying.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, speak it.

[Emma Greed]

Preach.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Yeah, preach. He's our savior. When do they sing the Ocean Song? Excuse me, question. Is this the church where they sing oceans? No. People will believe anything. Teresa Caputo, drunken preacher.

[Drunk Preacher]

So I have to say, I mean, I like miracles. We were in. We were in Cleveland, Ohio, ladies. Plastic eye, glass eye. I don't know. Artificial eye. She put. Began to see through it.

[Chrissy]

She began to see through her glass. Glass of plastic. Whatever it was.

[Kristen Hoadley]

We were in Cleveland, some chick with fake tits. I was able to feel him after a couple glasses of God's love. Oh, you're going glass. I'd be able to see through it.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Hoadley]

If you still have one. Good eye. Not a miracle, California.

[Drunk Preacher]

A guy wouldn't. I mean, we see deaf ears open up all the time. But this guy with no hole in his ear started to hear, right, and he still didn't have a hole in his ear. He heard, but no hole. The hole didn't grow. He just got his hearing. Hearing with no parts. Couple weeks ago.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I'm just gonna tell you, he's just, like, random. It sounds like me. It's like an esper, sort of the commercial break.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. No facts.

[Kristen Hoadley]

One time I had sex with the same stripper.

[Chrissy]

No facts needed.

[Kristen Hoadley]

No, they just believe Them everybody at the front row happened.

[Chrissy]

It was in Cleveland, though. It wasn't here.

[Drunk Preacher]

Cleveland wasn't here just a couple weeks ago. I was. You know how many of you guys know Jeff? Have heard Jeff's bilocation story where he up two places at once.

[Kristen Hoadley]

The way that that video cut out, it sounded like B location story where Jeff once. Two places. Yes. Let's go back to that. I want you to hear how that cut out just a little bit and how it sounded like it was Jeff. Ready? Here we go. Okay, listen to this again.

[Drunk Preacher]

Tell you guys a few stories of wet your appetite. Just a couple. I was, you know, how many of you guys know have heard Jeff's bilocation story where he up two places at once. More than one place at a time. Like you show up up two of you, two Johnny's, two Jeffs. Right. So we've been pressing in for this for a while, Lord. We want to buy, locate, revelate.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I want to bifurcate. I want to buy low, sell high. I want to buy at Lowe's. I wanna.

[Chrissy]

Can I start with the bilocation program?

[Kristen Hoadley]

I don't even know what I'm talking about this morning. Black Friday, Green Tuesday. Not even sure this is what my boner sounds like in the morning.

[Chrissy]

That's the Lord.

[Kristen Hoadley]

That's the Lord. That's spirit running through me. That's spirit. Spirit's giving me a boner. That means I got a boner.

[Drunk Preacher]

Heaven. Just give it all to me. I want everything, Lord God, I want everything from it. Just pour it out, dump it on. You know I want it. And so. So for a while, I showed up in Ireland, although I was in Georgia. It's just happened a few weeks. Happened actually on my birthday and August.

[Kristen Hoadley]

This guy needs mental health. This guy needs mental.

[Chrissy]

I have it. On my birthday I showed up in Ireland and. And the Lord made me drink all the Guinness.

[Rachel]

I was there.

[Kristen Hoadley]

That's how it happens, Chrissy. That's what happened.

[Chrissy]

It doesn't happen to me on my birthday.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Hey, girl, speaking of your birthday, Speaking of your birthday, what you doing? What you doing next Tuesday?

[Chrissy]

Let's go to Ireland.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Let's go to Island. Girl, send me this video. Do me a favor. Don't give it to anybody else except for the New York Post. Thanks, girl. It's me, Carl. Big Carl, little Carl out.

[Chrissy]

They do that. Ow.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Love you, girl. Love you, girl. Oh, my God. Fails, never fails. Every single time we talk about a preacher on this show, they're doing whatever they're telling Everybody else, else not to do. Every single time.

[Chrissy]

Every time.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Drunk with your love. Drunk with your love, Lord. Drunk with your love. Well, yeah, what else can I say?

[Chrissy]

Good day back.

[Kristen Hoadley]

It was a good day back. Thanks, Chrissy. Appreciate it.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Good to be back.

[Chrissy]

Good to be back.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Good to have it. Everything is right with the world. Great to be back. Christy and I are going to be at Pod Fest the last weekend in my May. Go to podfest.com go to podfest.com if you want free tickets. I'm going to link it in the show notes. If you're interested in the podcast industry whatsoever, you're a casual observer, you want to get into it, you are into it. Go to Pod Fest. You can see Chrissy and I are going to be there all day on Friday and we're going to be doing a live episode of the commercial break as a presentation, which is going to be a ton of fun. Special guests, lots more to happen at Pod Fest. The good people over at podcast podfest. So that's a live appearance that we're making that if you'd like to down Orlando. Yeah, please do. Otherwise you'll have to see us at our next 33 Peep Pastor event. Yo, girl. What's up, girl? What's up, girl? Just look for me. V for victory. My V is more like A. It's more like a B. I got a baby. I look more like. What was that guy's name in your. In your video?

[Brian Green]

Pullman.

[Chrissy]

What was his name?

[Kristen Hoadley]

Plumly. I'm more like a Plumly. I got more of a Plumly figure than a lens figure. I got a rolling bee all the.

[Brian Green]

Way down to glory.

[Kristen Hoadley]

There you go. All right.

[Chrissy]

Rolling on in. Amen, brother.

[Kristen Hoadley]

Amen, brother. Here's what you do. You go to tcb podcast.com More information about Chrissy and I. All the show notes, all the audio audio, all the video. Now full episodes and clips every single day of the week. You can go to YouTube.com the commercial break to check that out at the commercial break on Instagram.

[Brian Green]

I love how we've had so many phone numbers.

[Kristen Hoadley]

I have to change it on every best of 212-4333. TCB. Okay, that's it. That's all I can do. I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you. I love you, boy.

[Kristen Hoadley]

That's to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. We always say, we do say. We must say bye.

[Sam]

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[Kristen Hoadley]

Sam.