Loading summary
Brian
This episode of the commercial break is sponsored by Ring. The holidays are almost here and between traveling, hosting family and finding the perfect gift, it's such an exciting, busy and yes, sometimes stressful time. Ring helps you stay connected to the home for all the merry moments. Even when you're on the go with Ring, you've got the whole home covered. Their video doorbells alert you when gifts arrive and you can even chat with.
Chrissy
The delivery people to let them know.
Brian
Where to leave the packages. The indoor cam. It's a game changer. So easy to set up, you can use it to check in on your pets when you're and with two way talk, you can even talk to them. Plus, if you want some privacy, you can just flip the manual cover to turn off the camera and microphone. Wherever the holidays take you, Ring makes sure that you're always home for the holidays. So head to Ring.com to find the latest deals on Ring, video doorbells, cams and alarm kits. Ring makes the perfect gift for everyone on your list. And thanks to Ring for being a sponsor of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored in part by Live Nation. All right, you're a fan of the commercial break, so I know you're a fan of comedy. And good news for you, some of the best comedians in the world are touring right now. In my humble opinion, the best way to see comedy is to see it live. It's that energy in the room, it's the infectious laughter, it's the sense that someone is doing a high wire act right in front of your face and at any moment the train can come off the tracks. And and that is always just as entertaining as when your favorite comedian sets the room on fire. Bastard And I have become big fans of watching live comedy. Never once have we walked out of a comedy show regretting the $300 we're about to pay the teenage babysitter to obsessively text her boyfriend and doomscroll on Instagram. Never once Let me punch up a few of the comedians I know are on tour right now. There's the ever lovely Sarah Silverman, hilarious Brian Reig and Chelsea Handler, who I kind of have a crush on, Sarah Milliken, Kevin Hart, the always funny Atsuko Okatsuka, and literal man of the hour, Sebastian Maniscalco. If that guy doesn't give you a tickle, you just don't own a funny bone. There are all kind of live shows, there are all kind of venues, and there are all flavors of comedy. So head over to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy. times are tough. The entire world's stressed out. You deserve it. Go see some live comedy. Livenation.com comedy. And thanks to Live Nation for being a sponsor of another kind of comedy show, the commercial break. Here's an interesting fact about TCB. The most popular episode on YouTube is the least popular episode on the audio feed. And the least popular episode on the audio feed is a best of, or what we used to call the best of the worst of the commercial break. Here's a little revisionist history for you. Go all the way back to the beginning of the commercial break. And Chrissy and I did one episode a week. And sometimes we would skip a week that went on for the first 20 or 30 episodes until we got our shit together and decided we could in fact put in one full hour of work every single week. Somewhere around episode 50 or 60, we upped that to two episodes a week. And then the worse the show got.
Chrissy
The more episodes we put out.
Brian
But the more episodes we put out, the more opportunity for us to fuck it all up. And man, did we. I think we've got about 50 or 60 collective hours of episodes that we have never put out for one reason or the other. And on the off chance or the odd times Chrissy and I were sick or needed to take a D off, we would haphazardly take that shit from the can, cut it up and put it out as a best of the worst of the commercial break on episode number 203. That is almost 470 episodes ago. I dug around the trash, found an episode where Chrissy and I talked about Vince Neil from Motley Crue and how terribly out of shape and out of form he was. And we broke down a couple of live performances that we happened to catch on camera in what was then the new studio. Because most of the episode was crap. I just put out that 17 minute clip on YouTube and that 17 minutes still gets a ton of views on a daily basis, ignoring the other 800 plus hours of content we have out there on YouTube. The algorithm has shined on the horse's ass of this 17 minutes. And the only time that this 17 minutes has played on the audio feed was that episode number 203, the Best of the worst of the commercial break. And that episode is the least downloaded episode in commercial break history to this day. So now that you know a little commercial break trivia, welcome to a brand new version of the commercial break that I'm referring to as TCB Classic So while Chrissy, Christina and I lick our collective wounds from 28 days of non stop recording for December, I'm going to put out the very first TCB Classic, episode number 203. 203 revolves all around singing. First my bad singing from a long time ago. Then Vince Neil's bad singing from not so long ago. And then bad singing by Wes Scantlin from Puddle of Mud from any given time in their catalog. That guy's a national treasure. Someone ought to protect him. I know I promised you a TCB infomercial with Felipe Esparza and we'll get to it. It's a good one. But here's a TCB treat on a Friday. Our very first TCB classic, Shining Light on episode number 203 titled Puddle of Dud.
Chrissy
I guess I'm gonna have to do this.
Felipe
Yeah. No more songs.
Chrissy
So nervous about this.
Felipe
I know. Well, it's just. The time has come.
Chrissy
Here's the story.
Felipe
You're a good man, a big man. I'm a big man for doing this.
Chrissy
I'm a man of my word. I don't want anyone to say that I didn't do this because I did do this. This may be the first and last time this ever gets played on the commercial break. And who knows how long this episode stays out there. I'm just gonna put that out there.
Felipe
To be brief, here's the deal.
Chrissy
I'm 15 years old and I start a band with a couple friends of mine, Dan and Mike. I won't give away their last names in case they don't want to be heard. Yeah, Dan is an incredibly talented, like an idiot savant type musician. He can play multiple instruments extraordinarily well. He's such a great technical musician and he is the lead guitarist and or the bassist of our band. And then there's Mike, who is a drummer, soft self taught drummer and he's very good himself. And then there is me and I am playing guitar and I am singing and I'm writing the songs.
Felipe
Oh, okay.
Chrissy
To the band that we named 33 Will. So bad. @ one point we got asked to go. I think this is actually our first show. We got asked to go and play a house party. We had been practicing in Dan's attic for like a year and making up these horrible, horrible songs that you're about to hear. And at one point we got asked to play a house party. Somebody that Dan knew was having a house party. Their parents are out of town. It's like a Saturday afternoon at like 11:15 in the after. I mean, it was, like, totally not conducive to this music. I'm not saying this was gonna make any of the music any better if it was at night, but I'm trying to give myself some excuse. It's like 11:15 in the afternoon. We're playing in someone's living room. We've moved all the furniture mainly out of the way, so now it's circling the room and people are sitting on couches. Well, a person is sitting on a couch, and we're playing in front of a fireplace in someone's pedestrian house.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
In north. North of Atlanta. Okay, here we go. Ready?
Felipe
Yep.
Chrissy
Here is how. This is the CD covers from the beginning until the end of the concert. Now, I don't have the time to play all of it, so I've got to be choosy. Every. Every. So they. Oh, my God. Okay, so let's just start. This is the. Be getting warmed up. Yeah, it's a little mood.
Felipe
I can hear a little twinge of like a Pearl Jammy thing.
Chrissy
Oh, yeah, there's a. There's a Pearl Jammy thing going on. Oh, my God. Tuning up the instruments, getting ready. You know, you gotta. You gotta prepare properly. You want to make sure.
Felipe
You gotta be sure everything's in tune.
Chrissy
It's like when fish does a jam and they're like. You know, they're in between jams. They're transitioning.
Felipe
Yeah, you started with the transition.
Chrissy
Yeah, we ended the transition. It's like starting this sentence with. And ending it with a preposition. This is the 26 minute intro. Well, we're just so scared. If we just keep twanging around, eventually a song will come out. We all have to play the ones we wrote. We're already five minutes in. We haven't even played a song. No wonder people left. They were like, who are these guys tuning their instruments?
Felipe
Call me when they're done.
Chrissy
You guys should have taken care of that outside or something. Let's do a sunny side up.
Felipe
Sunny side up.
Chrissy
Sunny side up. Okay. All right. Now I'm gonna go hide in the corner while you listen. This is so bad.
Felipe
It's probably not that bad.
Chrissy
Totally. It's that bad. It's that bad. It's so bad. I'm so embarrassed. Okay. All right. Oh, my God.
Felipe
Okay. Nice.
Chrissy
There's the only talented musician in the group playing the bass line.
Felipe
Yeah, that sounds good.
Chrissy
Yeah. We should have kept it like that. It should have been the whole song. You just keep on going, man.
Felipe
It's all you.
Chrissy
Mike and I are heading. Mike and I are heading. We're going to go upstairs and smoke a cigarette. We'll be back when the important part starts. I think there's another guitarist. I don't know who he is. It's very.
Brian
It's very Doors.
Chrissy
Ish.
Felipe
Yeah, it is.
Chrissy
Very moody.
Felipe
This is the end.
Chrissy
This is the end of your musical career, my friend. This is perfect for 11:15 on Saturday afternoon.
Felipe
You know, way to bring things down a bit.
Chrissy
Let me bring it so far down you can't hear me singing.
Felipe
Yeah. I'm picturing.
Chrissy
Oh, yeah. With all the drugs I'm taking.
Felipe
Ah.
Chrissy
Nice.
Felipe
Well, you kicked it up a notch.
Chrissy
We're at like a 13. The party's at like, a 1. Oh, back down. Get moody again.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
If you notice there, I started singing way before I was supposed to. I'm 15. Give me a break.
Felipe
Yeah, I am.
Chrissy
I am.
Felipe
I mean, good for you to try.
Chrissy
Thanks, Jose. I appreciate that.
Felipe
I mean, everybody's got to start somewhere.
Chrissy
This is where we started, and the podcast is where we ended. Listen to my voice. I sound like Scott Stamp from Green Light Up. I mean, the bass line is good. I think at least that.
Felipe
Yeah, yeah.
Chrissy
Again, we're gonna give it up to Dan. Yeah, no, Mike's good. Mike's a good, solid drummer. What am I making breakfast? This is my heavy metal song about Waffle House.
Felipe
You've always had a love for Waffle House.
Chrissy
I never stop.
Felipe
Oh, yeah. Take it back down.
Chrissy
Oh, yeah. Guitar solo.
Felipe
Is that you?
Chrissy
I don't know, actually. I don't know if this is me, if there's someone else, because we had a second guitarist sometimes.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
And I don't know if that guy is with us or not. Sounds like me. Sounds pretty bad. By the way, this is the same talentless guitar playing that I. That I impressed Astrid's parents with. Also my singing voice.
Felipe
Well, in fairness, it was like a time when there was a lot of angst and screaming and grunge. It was kind of, you know, if.
Chrissy
I'm 15, this is 1991.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
So, I mean, this is like. This is just when Pearl Jam and Nirvana have come out. I mean, not even. Yeah. I don't even think some of these albums had even been out.
Felipe
Like Alice in Chaney.
Chrissy
Yeah, all that stuff. Yeah. And we are just channeling that energy is what we are.
Felipe
Oh, yeah.
Chrissy
The crowd is really responding to us.
Felipe
By walking out the door wearing your dog, Martin.
Chrissy
I was. Same Doc Martens. I was wearing a.22 in the fish.
Felipe
Did you have a chain? Like, with the.
Chrissy
Oh, you know I did. Oh, you know I did. And not a small chain, a long chain, like, down below my knee. And not a real chain either. The kind that gets wet and it starts peeling because I'm 15 and I can't order it right. I can afford a Fender Stratocaster, but I can't get a pair of shoes, clean underwear, or a chain that works. But, oh, it's so, so bad.
Felipe
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Chrissy
You know, sometimes, like, people, they, like, meditate to their former self, you know, saying they, like. They believe in, like, you know, the string theory and multiple universes, and time is just a dilation. And you can talk to your younger self.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
I just keep telling my younger self you're eventually behind a microphone. You're not much better at that either, but at least you're not screaming. And where are these lyrics coming from? I'm talking about all the drugs I'm taking. Oh, man. I bet I have the lyrics somewhere in one of these lyric books.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
Okay. There's, like, there's 22 songs in here, folks, so there will be another episode of this, and I will try and get out the link.
Felipe
You're like a season of 21 jumps street.
Chrissy
I was. Well, a couple of them are cover tunes. We actually do the End, I think, by the Doors. And we do. And Killing in the Name of by Rage against the Machine, which is a song that, like, it just come out. So this must be 1992, actually. Probably.
Felipe
Here we go now.
Chrissy
Here we go.
Brian
Now.
Chrissy
I'm channeling my innard. Anthony Kiedis. There we go. Now, all three of the notes we're playing sound really good.
Felipe
I do want to know what the rest of the song says, because I probably heard Sunny side Up.
Chrissy
Well, you can't hear me because I'm not talking. I'm not actually singing. The microphone, this is the thing that I remember doing. I was. This is. By the way, it's just. Can you imagine being at, like, an afternoon brunch house party? This is what's coming at you.
Felipe
No one was brunching. Let's be real.
Chrissy
No, they were doing cake stands in the back. Yeah. Smoking pot. Just trying to chill.
Felipe
Parents are out. You take advantage. What time of the day? It doesn't matter.
Chrissy
Yeah, that's correct. All these guys were hoping, like, Widespread Part two was walking in the door, and they. They got Creed. Five years before Creed was a thing. They're like, wow, that's a really bad impression of Eddie Vedder.
Felipe
Well, you couldn't get any better. You got 33 Willie.
Chrissy
You couldn't get Eddie Vedder or any better. So there you go. Hey, we paid inside the budget, which was $0 and 0 cents. I don't even think we got free beer at that point. Anyway.
Felipe
You just needed the experience.
Chrissy
Oh, we got plenty of experience. I remember a thing that I did.
Felipe
Oh, what, the one where you fell off the stage? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chrissy
I think my music, I think my singing got a little less like in, like imitative, like. I wasn't trying to imitate somebody here. Clearly what I'm doing is I'm trying to imitate a bunch of different singers of the time. And I'm not using my own voice. Not that my own voice was any much. That much better. I'm not. I was not a great singer in any stretch of the imagination. But what I've noticed about some of these old recordings, I have a habit of moving away from the microphone because I think I'm scared of being heard right. It's scary. But then when I get loud, I'm like, okay, well, I might as well just scream at this point.
Felipe
Shake it in.
Chrissy
Suddenly sign up. Yeah, I like my eggs and suddenly sign up.
Felipe
Here we go now covered, it's father.
Chrissy
Thanks. Jamaican Creeping. My coffee. The Am I.
Felipe
What were some of the other names in your songs?
Chrissy
Oh, God, I've got them. I've got them right here. Slide. Here's one called Slide. Slide. I think the Goo Goo Dolls then stole our song. Remember that? Why don't you slide? Yeah, that was it. Why don't you slide? That was it.
Felipe
Called Smile.
Chrissy
No, no. Slide. Okay, yeah, it's like, why don't you slide. Remember the Goo Goo Dolls? They were like a hardcore punk band that turned into like, you know, why don't you slide. What other songs did they sing? Oh, God, I can't remember. Yeah, yeah, they were bad.
Brian
It was bad.
Chrissy
We all sang their songs back then, but they were everywhere. Yeah, you don't hear those songs on the radio. Okay, this is by 33 willie. Before they were known as 33 willie, we were known as Slow Head. That was the name of the band. Slow Head. Make up your own interpretation of that one. Yes. 15 year old boys. Slow Head.
Felipe
Slow Head.
Chrissy
Slow Head. Oh my God. So bad. It's so cringeworthy.
Felipe
33 Willie.
Chrissy
Slow head.
Felipe
Chopper Johnson. I don't think I have references to penis.
Chrissy
I just wanna. I wanna say this. I don't think Slow Head was My idea. I don't know whose it was, but it wasn't mine. I would have never named. My bad. Slow head 33 Willie was a much better name.
Felipe
Was this the same band too, where you showed up and Tina dropped you off and you were.
Chrissy
That's Chopper Johnson.
Felipe
That's Chopper Johnson.
Chrissy
That's the act. Like, this is my teen. This is a teenage band.
Brian
Right.
Chrissy
This is a high school band.
Felipe
Right.
Chrissy
We're doing this thinking that we're going to be famous. Yeah. Obviously the talent is. I don't know where the. I don't know where the talent scouts were. Clearly.
Felipe
I mean, you were still developing.
Chrissy
Yeah. In many ways. Puberty, basically, was how we were developing. I still wait for my balls to drop. I just can't get over how bad that is. This is my teenage band. But then in my. In my early 20s, I joined a band called Chop that I. That I affectionately named, at some point, Chopper Johnson. We named Chopper Johnson.
Felipe
Right.
Chrissy
At some point, Chopper Johnson was a more adult band. They were. I don't even know what that means.
Felipe
Meaning you were adults in it.
Chrissy
Meaning we had to do porn to save. Pay the bills. I don't know. I think we played at a strip club once. I'm not sure. I don't remember.
Felipe
Oh, my God.
Chrissy
Meaning they were older than I was.
Felipe
It was a more mature.
Chrissy
And they had recorded albums. They were like. And they had the same. Their manager was the touring manager for Rush, so their band manager was the touring manager for Rush.
Felipe
I mean, that's big.
Chrissy
They were going places until I showed up. They were well on their way.
Felipe
And then he joined.
Chrissy
Came and took a hammer to the track. Yeah.
Felipe
Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna change the name to Charles.
Chrissy
That's right.
Felipe
And I'm gonna sing. And we're gon really take off.
Chrissy
Have you guys ever. You guys ever heard of 33p? No. Let me play you one of our classics. Listen to the cheers. Listen to the crowd. Not one person. Not one person. Clap. Not one person said anything. They were all like, wow.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
I guess. I guess we should come back later. What time do you say your parents get home? 7. Can we go back around 6? Will these guys still be here? Oh, my God. I'm laughing so hard. I'm crying. I don't know if I'm laughing because I'm embarrassed. This was. Yeah, yeah. So when I knocked on that. When I knocked on that door this.
Felipe
Last week.
Chrissy
I couldn't have done years ago. Imagine. Imagine in a little record Label had picked us up. You know what I would be? I would be like Puddle of Mud. That's what I would be like. I would be like that Wes Scantlin guy running around drunk and high on heroin, trying to explain my music. And people would say, yeah, yeah. People would say, don't worry. Everything old comes new again. Not for some people. I don't see the Goo Goo Dolls running around with a farewell tour. You know what I'm saying? It just doesn't work that way for some people. I don't want to be running the, you know, Boys to Men, what's Left of NSync and 33p. What is the. What is that Music Complex. Time Life Music collection presents the best of 33p. Enjoy all the old classics like Sunny side Up and Slide. You can only find this collection exclusively on Time.
Felipe
I would love to see a VH1 behind the Music with 33.
Chrissy
I'd like to see any of us survive 50 years old.
Felipe
I'm picturing you like a stool. You know, y'all are all kind of hanging out. There's a black curtain behind me.
Chrissy
Picturing stool is about right for 33ft. We also were playing behind the porta potties. At this particular party, not one person clapped.
Felipe
Tough crowd.
Chrissy
Yeah, tough crowd. Tough crowd. A crowd insinuates that there were more than one person listening. That's enough. So to get back to the story, when I showed up with Tina, I answered a personal, like, not a personal ad, but an ad in, like, a. The Creative Loafing, a local alternative trade, right? A singer looking for singer. You know, band with whatever, you know, album looking for singer. And so that's when I showed up at the door. Tina dropped me off, and the guy was like, yeah, here, take these songs and call us back in a week with some ideas. And I was like, I don't have a car or a phone, but I still have my blue dog Martens from 33B. You want to listen to Slide? Why not? Why not? We're in it now. Yeah, I heard.
Felipe
I heard a woo.
Chrissy
I think that was us. I think that was me.
Felipe
Maybe it was the dog.
Chrissy
It was Mike. It was Scoot. Yeah, his name was Scoot. We called a Scooter. We called him Scooter. Scooter. It was the dog. Hey, Mike's drumming pretty good here. Yeah, he's getting going. Yeah, I'm not sure what I'm doing, but Mike's going. I'm sure I'm gonna come in and ruin the song at any moment. Yep, there I am. Remember Rob Zombie?
Felipe
He's got a Metallica.
Chrissy
Yeah. Remember White Zombie? I sound like the guy from White Zombie. Why am I trying to emulate the guy from White Zombie?
Felipe
Oh, he was successful.
Chrissy
Was it White Zombie? Yeah, it was. White Zombie was. No, not White Zombie wasn't. White Zombie was with. Oh, that was the Cranberries. Never mind.
Felipe
You seem like you're getting more confident.
Chrissy
Yeah. Or drunk. One of the two. I'm not sure. Well, I'm getting more confident because I realize no one's listening.
Felipe
You are getting drunk.
Chrissy
Yeah, I realize no one's listening at this point. There's no one in the crowd, so I'm like, oh, I'm playing to nobody. Just like when we're playing in the attic. Yeah. I think I've been. I think I've been disarmed by the fact that there is no one there.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
And we're just kind of treating it now like band practice. Right. And at band practice, we can be as bad as we want to be.
Felipe
Right.
Chrissy
And it shows. Never.
Felipe
Tell me something.
Chrissy
What you looking for? To be fair to those of you who were not born or around in the 90s, there was much worse music than this that was playing on the radio. Yeah. Not the singing, but the actual music part. I just want to let you know that.
Felipe
What?
Chrissy
This is. Dan slapping on the bases. Had plenty of practice at home. There's some comic relief. Hey, I'm Brian. Over here at Chuckles. Laugh Factory all weekend long.
Brian
Wow.
Chrissy
What witty banter, Brian. It's Jim Morrison.
Felipe
It is.
Chrissy
It is.
Felipe
Astrid heard this.
Chrissy
Seven miles as Astra. No, she is not. This will be the first time Praying. This is one of those episodes she won't listen all the way through.
Felipe
I'm Brian.
Chrissy
I'm Brian, in case anyone's listening. I'm Brian, in case you're taking pictures for some magazine.
Felipe
Okay, I'm Brian.
Chrissy
Like, I'm introducing myself to people. Like, I'm Brian. Nice to meet you. People are like, dude, enough. I thought Dave's parents were gone and we're gonna get hammered. I was gonna French kiss my girlfriend. Instead I gotta listen to this shit. You're blocking the stairway. I can't even get to the bedrooms. Fuck, man, I shouldn't have taken that lsd. Slow head is killing me. The guitar's ripping into me like a million knives.
Revere
Brian might have just said it's time to take a break, but some of us have to work right now. And by work, I mean gently nudge you, nay, beg you to Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCV podcast. Because listen, the more followers we get, the more clout I get with Chrissy and Brian. If you've got something to say, give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB or shoot us a text. One more thing, Check out our website tcbpodcast.com where you can find all of our audio and video and even request a new sticker from the Contact Us form. Bye.
Brian
This episode is sponsored in part by Just Thrive Health. The holiday season means lots of food, lots of fun, and lots of tough stuff on your tummy. With the holiday season always comes a.
Chrissy
Renewed focus on your gut and your gut health.
Brian
And here's the shocking truth about New Year's resolutions. Whether you want to lose weight, improve your energy, or beat the embarrassing post meal bloat, nothing works.
Chrissy
If your gut isn't healthy first, why not try starting Just Thrive Probiotic?
Brian
Most probiotics die in your harsh stomach.
Chrissy
Acid before they can do much good.
Brian
Just Thrive Probiotic is the only probiotic clinically proven to arrive in your gut 100 alive for you. That means better digestion, healthy immunity, great energy and easy weight loss management. Plus, it's backed by a 100 money back guarantee. So if you're ready to take control of your best health in the new.
Chrissy
Year, visit justthrivehealth.com podcasts and use the code POD20 for 20% off your first order.
Brian
That's justthrive.com podcasts and remember to use the code POD20 for twenty percent off your first order. Remember that Just Thrive Probiotic is the.
Chrissy
Only probiotic that is clinically proven to arrive in your gut 100% alive.
Brian
Don't let your gut control you. Control your gut in the new year.
Chrissy
Just thrive health.com podcasts and use that code pod20.
Brian
And we do want to thank Just.
Chrissy
Thrive Health for being a sponsor of the commercial break.
Jose
Where'd you get those shoes?
Revere
Easy.
Jose
They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great, great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com when you.
Chrissy
Feel a cold coming, shorten it With Zycam, the number one cold shortening brand. Oh, no. Your cold is coming. Your cold is coming.
Brian
Thanks, Revere. I really should keep Zycam in the house.
Chrissy
Only if you want to shorten your cold.
Narrator
Take it from America's most revered messenger. Shortening. Shorten your cold at the first sign with cold shortening products from Zycam, the number one cold shortening brand available in stores or see where to buy@zycam.com.
Brian
I.
Narrator
Feel like you deserve a prize just for making it this far. In this particular episode, you had to.
Brian
Suffer through 33p just like the two.
Chrissy
People who happened to show up at that house party.
Brian
So you deserve a prize.
Narrator
A prize you shall get. Chrissy and I one time did an entire episode on Vince Neil and Motley Crue. I started finding all these really funny videos focusing on Vince Neil's vocal performances. This guy is a hot mess. I'm not ever sure he was a really great singer, but as of late, he's drunk out of shape and it appears he just doesn't give a shit. He doesn't know his own lyrics, he gets exhausted just walking on stage and he's trying to convince everybody in the audience that whatever he's doing to that microphone is actual singing. But it's not. For a couple of different reasons, we never ran that episode. And now for your prize, the gift at the bottom of the cereal box. I am going to play Chrissy and I reviewing Vince Neil live from who fucking cares? Singing the song Kickstart My Heart. Honestly, this is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I hope you feel the same way, but don't go anywhere after this. This. I'll be back to present one more segment of this episode of the Best of the Worst of the Commercial Break Podcast.
Chrissy
Enjoy. Go Google Motley Crue Rock and rio on on YouTube. Search it.
Felipe
Okay. What year was this from?
Chrissy
2015, I think.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
So many smarter and funnier guys than me have actually put the the. So we're about to listen to him sing Kickstart My Heart. Vince Neil and the band play Kickstart My Heart. Vince is obviously drunk, fat, out of shape, out of breath, but he barely sings the lyrics. They're like. It's like mumble rap. You can't even fucking understand it. So what people have done is they have gone, oh, made their own lyrics and put them on the bottom. Now, I don't want to show those because that's somebody else's video. I mean, you get it. I don't want to, like, take credit for somebody else's video, but wait until you hear the trash coming out of this guy's mouth. You don't even need to be watching this video to. To hear how bad this is, okay? This is gonna come on in one second.
Felipe
Oh, is that Nikki?
Chrissy
That's Nikki. No, no, that's not Nikki. That's the other guy. The guy who's dead. Nothing like sliding your hand across a guitar for three. I can already hear in the comment section, you man.
Felipe
All right.
Chrissy
Just listen. This is so good.
Felipe
Whoa.
Chrissy
Drive through pudding Gonna cover me. It's so bad. What?
Felipe
Being back. 103.
Chrissy
1, 2, 6, 4. 3, 2, 3. Wow. I think the real lyric is. What is it? Look out my heart.
Brian
My heart.
Chrissy
Kickstart my heart. Right? But he's like, look out, look out. His every inch of his diaphragm is straining to make that noise. He's like. He takes a huge breath in, walk out. You know that. You know the old Batman where they had the. The pow, pow, bam? Yeah. There was one that was like, w. Pow, right? Oh, more, more, more, more. Like making cat noises up there and.
Felipe
Then just pumping his fist in the air. Yeah.
Chrissy
He can't move because he's so big, so he just bumps his big fat arm up in the air. I love this.
Felipe
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What?
Chrissy
What? Yeah, he sounds like. Sounds like a dead cat.
Felipe
Oh, my God.
Chrissy
Oh, my God. This is what a heart attack looks like live.
Felipe
Geez. I know. I feel worried for him, actually.
Chrissy
Two bells. Looking for another good time.
Felipe
Looking for another good time. I was just able to decipher that.
Chrissy
Came up with lyrics. He's like, good time. Look at his pants. He's wearing the same pants I wore for 12 years. The bell bottoms. Yeah.
Felipe
Ready?
Chrissy
Yeah. Playing Girls. Yeah.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
Here comes it. You can't remember the lyric? No. They're. By the way, they're pasted all over the stage. He's got lyric sheets all over the place. Look down next time they do a stage shot. A lot of musicians do this now, right? Or they have an actual teleprompter. Yeah. I mean, when you, you know, I don't know. Rolling Stones or the Grateful Dead. I mean, I don't know the Grateful Dead does this, but, you know, I know there's some bands who do that. They have such deep catalogs. It's like I can't remember every single lyric to every single song, even though I wrote it. I mean, I can barely.
Felipe
Pretty good. A pretty big hit for them, though. I bet he's sung that a ton of times.
Chrissy
There weren't too many. It's like Dr. Feel Good. Girls, girls, girls. And this one, right. All the other ones are like, I could understand. Wow. I don't know how he makes it through a whole set.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
Yeah. This reminds me. This honestly reminds me of me in that band.
Felipe
33B.
Chrissy
Oh, bad. Yeah, yeah. Instead of going like, yeah. He's like, yeah. Can't breathe. Look at him. He's drenched already, sweating. He's been out there for five minutes whispering, whoa.
Felipe
Okay, well, you have to have the girls on there on stage to take away from the distraction. You better have something up there from not remembering this.
Chrissy
If it's me and you, this is the best thing that ever happened at a concert. We're like, this is incredible. I hope someone's videotaping this. If this is people who actually came to see MLE Crew because they enjoy MLE Crew.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
They're like, what in the. He's. He's not even singing words. He's just like. It's a weird series of honking noises.
Felipe
Oh, he looks really out of breath.
Chrissy
Yeah, he's out of shape. Wow.
Felipe
Let's do fire and have girls.
Chrissy
He's giving up now. He's just like, I'm just going to point to the crowd, have them sing. Oh, yeah. Sc. He's. He's giving. He's. He's.
Revere
He's.
Chrissy
Now he's scatting. He's like, scatter diddly. Kickstart my skin. It's bad, it's bad, it's bad.
Narrator
I could honestly listen to Vince Neil slaughter his own music all day long. It is one of the most humorous things to me on the Internet right now. Vince Neil making a mess of his own songs.
Brian
Okay, I got one more segment for you.
Narrator
Music related. Unlike Motley Crue, Puddle of Mud never saw any kind of sustained success.
Chrissy
In this segment, you'll hear that Chrissy.
Narrator
And I struggle to even remember one name of one song from Puddle of Mud. And I don't think anybody would remember Puddle of Mud if it wasn't for their singer, Wes Scantlin's interesting and rather bizarre behavior on and off stage in this clip from Sirius xm, where the band manages to get in the studio early in the morning. But it's obvious Wes is worse for the wear. And what does he choose to sing? One of Nirvana's most beloved songs. I have a feeling from the moment that Wes Scantlin woke up, or maybe he was just still up that morning shit was gonna hit the fan no matter what. Lucky for us, it hit the fan directly in front of the cameras. Here's Chrissy and I reviewing Puddle of Mud singing Nirvana during this most infamous of live performances.
Brian
I'll be back after this nightmare of a performance to wrap up this episode.
Narrator
Of the Best of the Worst of the Commercial Commercial Break Podcast.
Brian
Enjoy.
Chrissy
And I'm talking, of course, about one of the greatest bands that has ever lived. Really. I mean, you think of.
Brian
When you think of artists, famous artists.
Chrissy
Like the best rock bands in the world, who do you think of?
Felipe
Led Zeppelin. Rolling Stones.
Chrissy
Certainly Beatles.
Felipe
Beatles, yeah. Yeah. Nirvana.
Chrissy
Nirvana.
Felipe
Pearl Jam.
Chrissy
Pearl Jam. Maybe you throw in a Grateful Dead. Yes. In there.
Jose
Absolutely.
Chrissy
There's lots of emo bands that were. My Comical Romance. There's like. You can go on and on and.
Brian
On and think of all these.
Felipe
Morning Jacket.
Chrissy
My Morning Jacket. Willow Smith, who I think is just excellent. She's. I'm all. I'm all about her right now.
Felipe
You're a willowing Willow.
Chrissy
Yeah. Six Dimension. But I think of one band. One band stands out to me. Tanima amongst the rest.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
All the rest are small little minions compared to one huge behemoth juggernaut of a band that came out in the late 90s. Kind of had a run through the early Juggernaut.
Felipe
I think it's Juggernaut.
Chrissy
It's a Juggernaut. I thought it was a Juggernaut. It's not a Juggernaut.
Felipe
Juggernaut.
Chrissy
Juggernaut. There's no R in there. There's no R and Juggernaut.
Felipe
For me.
Chrissy
They had a lot of songs on the radio. They toured relentlessly. They made fans of every person that ever heard them. I'm talking, of course, about Puddle of Mud.
Felipe
I mean, that. That was.
Chrissy
Name one of their songs.
Felipe
I didn't even have to name one of their songs.
Chrissy
Isn't it Superman?
Felipe
Muddy.
Chrissy
Muddy. Isn't it Superman? Like I'll be your Superman or whatever. Wait, hold on. We should know this. Hold on. Look at. Look at Puddle of Mud real quick. We should know. You look up Juggernaut. Yeah. Okay. Puddle of. I know the audience loves it when we stop.
Felipe
Yes.
Chrissy
This is the high quality kind of entertainment you get here at the commercial break. Okay? Puddle of Mud with band members Juggernaut, Jurgenaut.
Felipe
Juggernaut.
Chrissy
Juggernaut. Okay. Yeah. So they had. Okay, here is their discography. I know, but what is their famous Songs Come Clean, Life on Display. Famous. Yeah, but what are the songs? I really want to know the Songs that. That they had that were famous. And then I'm going to get into. Let's see here. Well, Puddle of Mud, she Hates Me is one that I think we could all know.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
I know I'm not doing his voice justice. I know there's a lot of Wes Scantlin fans out there. So excuse me if I just, you know, I have to. Because anytime I hear that song, I just. It's so catchy. She Hates Me.
Felipe
Good old Puddle.
Chrissy
Wes Scantlin and his Puddle of Mud crew came into a what I believe is a clear channel or iHeartradio studio one morning, one early morning, and decided to do one of their Live at five bullshits or whatever the fuck they were doing. And they decided to cover.
Felipe
Was I there?
Chrissy
Were you there?
Felipe
We used to have live performances that we were.
Chrissy
I don't think we had anybody that famous. Yeah, I think we had that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish one time. I did.
Felipe
And we had Lady A.
Chrissy
Lady Antebellum. Well, they don't call themselves antebellum anymore. Yes, Lady A. Yeah, they got. People got upset about that. They came into the studio. I think this is in New York.
Felipe
This is. Okay, this is a high falutin to.
Chrissy
Do a Nirvana cover. Highfalutin, yes. This is super fancy shit right here.
Revere
Okay, well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 2:1. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.
Chrissy
Of course.
Revere
Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsored. So thank G. And here they are.
Sponsor
The holidays are all about sharing with family meals, couches, stories, Grandma's secret pecan pie recipe. And now you can also share a cart with Instacart's family carts. Everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are. So you don't have to go from room to room to find out who wants cranberry sauce or who should get mini marshmallows for the yams or collecting votes for sugar cookies versus shortbread. Just share a cart and then share the meals and the moments. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.
This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things, like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live.
Chrissy
Are you ready for one of the greatest vocal performances that you have ever heard?
Felipe
I'm always ready for your ears.
Chrissy
Prepared?
Felipe
I think so.
Chrissy
Are they powdered and nursed?
Felipe
They're fluffed.
Chrissy
Okay. Are you ready?
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
I want you to listen to Puddle of Mud covering Nirvanas about a girl. I'm. Let this run for a minute, then.
Brian
We'Ll play back the tape.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
But you have a clue.
Felipe
He's really getting into it.
Chrissy
Does it look like Wes Cantlin's about to take a on the.
Felipe
It does.
Chrissy
On the Iheart floor. Okay, I'll let it run. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Felipe
That guy next to him, like, I.
Chrissy
Know everybody in the band is like, holy, we're dying a slow death live on radio. First of all. Second of all, I want you to notice that half of the band members, of which there are four, are wearing pajamas. They are.
Felipe
They're wearing pajama pants.
Chrissy
So I, I, I'm not here to beat up Wes Scantlin 100%. I'm just 80%. Because I will say this in first.
Brian
Thing in the morning.
Chrissy
If you're a singer like I was in 33p.
Felipe
That's right.
Chrissy
You know, those early morning radio events are really difficult to do because I never did one, but I imagined that if I had to wake up early, we tried early morning band practice. Like, we were having a couple shows. So we tried to go like, you know, and I say early morning. I mean, like 11:30 in the morning. Yeah. We'd all just like, be so hungover and, and we tried the early morning and it never worked because it's really hard to get your gears going.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
Yeah. That's a nighttime thing. Right. For sure. But, you know, Wes is.
Felipe
It's like us trying to record at 10am when we tried this a few.
Chrissy
Weeks ago, I said come at 10 to 2.
Felipe
I saw come at 10 to 2. You didn't say that.
Chrissy
Number two, I do keep on stay with you it's getting worse.
Felipe
What year was this? Like, was Nirvana still alive?
Chrissy
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is like five years ago. Yeah. When did he died? In 97, I think. Was it 96 or 97? Yeah, 96 or 97. No, this is like five years ago. Poor Wes, man. He's just trying his little heart out.
Felipe
He's really.
Chrissy
He's got this look on his face where he's, like, taking a dump. He's like, I do hope a number. I do keep a day with you.
Felipe
Yeah, the other guy. The other guy's like, laughing.
Chrissy
Yeah, he's laughing. He's like. He's like, well, there goes my regular paycheck. I mean, this is well past Bottle of Mud's Prime, I think this is SiriusXM, by the way. Not Clear Channel, but. So I think. I think Clear Channel Sirius was just like, Puddle of Mud's gonna be in town tomorrow playing the Rinky Dink arena in front of the circus. You guys, what do you think? Wanna bring him in? Have him do a song?
Brian
Yeah, sure.
Chrissy
We'll throw it on the Internet. This is like 380 million views because it's the worst vocal performance that's ever been recorded by a professional musician. I can see you every night Free girl. Well, at least the guitarist has got it together. You know what I'm saying?
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
At least a. There you go, little guitar solo.
Felipe
Is that the bass? No, he's doing the guitar.
Chrissy
Yeah, he's doing the guitar. And I mean, he is struggling. He's struggling to put it all together together.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
And when you're playing and singing at the same time, it's not an easy thing to do.
Felipe
Really?
Chrissy
Yeah. No. Well, imagine your mind's working on one tempo here and one tempo here, so it's. It's difficult to do. I give. I give them credit for that. I do hope. Number two.
Felipe
Number two. He said number two.
Chrissy
He goes. I take a number two.
Felipe
He said it.
Chrissy
SiriusXM Studio Number three, this is CEO SiriusXM. What in the good is going down downstairs? It sounds like there are rats dying right below me. Oh, no, no, no. That's just Wes Scantlin from Puddle of Mud. Oh, what? Get him off our radio before he kills the whole satellite industry.
Felipe
Yeah, he's really trying.
Chrissy
I know. Sounds like if diarrhea had a voice.
Felipe
That would be it. That would.
Chrissy
You hear me out to drive I can't see you every night.
Felipe
Lord, it's painful cover flop. I love Asylum in this cover flop. The musical instruments sound great.
Chrissy
Listen. Not a particularly difficult song to play. But all the rest of the band came and they brought their A game. Now Wes, I think Wes is high. That's my personal opinion. Because no one makes this kind of face unless there are narcotics involved maybe in the situation. I love it. The West. You're so good. Well, that was three minutes of my life I'll never get back. Three, four. Okay, now just listen to the beginning of the song for a second. Watch his face right before he goes into it.
Felipe
He's gearing up.
Chrissy
He's like, I hope they don't know I'm up. That's a face I've seen. That's a face I've brought to the gas station. Many a 6 o'clock in the morning to get beer. When that 6 o'clock beer unopened. I do use my credit card to buy some more beer from you. Sorry man. Can't open my mouth. My teeth are wired shut.
Felipe
Ground them down.
Chrissy
That's why I need the beer to unlock my mouth. It's been three hours since we had beer. Do you remember, do you remember the days when you would walk into the gas station and I remember, I'll say me, okay. I remember when I walked into the gas station.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
I'll never forget this, that there was one time when I was living downtown and there was a couple of gas stations, they were like half a mile away. You could take the back roads to them, right. So I felt it was safe. I remember after a long, one particularly long night, I needed beer because that was the only thing that was going to cure my woes.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
And it had been about four hours since I had had a beer. So first of all, watching the clock was a painful event.
Brian
Right.
Chrissy
I just was waiting for 6:00 to roll around. And when 5:58 finally came around, I just, I just never forget this. I decided that it was now appropriate to get in the car, start making my ways. Beer o'clock and I get in the car, which I was driving this big old like hefty truck at the time. Like I don't even know what you.
Brian
Call like a Ford.
Chrissy
It was, yeah, it was a Ford. Like I. Like a, like a Bronco.
Brian
Like a Bronco.
Felipe
That's what it was.
Chrissy
It was like a Bronco, you know, it was a four door Bronco. And I just remember.
Felipe
Jacked up wheels.
Chrissy
No, jacked up Brian. Jacked up wheels. Jacked up Brian.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
And I never. I'll never forget, like, backing down that driveway in the neighborhood, driving like six and a half inches per hour because I didn't want to get pulled over, right? And I only had to make it half a mile to the gas station. Every side street that there was, I decided to turn into to make sure that I wasn't being followed by a police officer. By the time I got to the gas station, it was 6:45. I was like. I was just such a mess. I stood out. I sat in the car for like 15 minutes deciding whether or not I really wanted to go into the gas station. Drugs are a hell of a thing. Kids stay away from the drugs. That's all I gotta say. Wes Scantlin obviously did not stay away from the drugs because he is a hot fucking mess. Now let's review this in more detail, Chrissy.
Felipe
Okay? I mean, again, my cue is from the guy to the left of him, stage right.
Chrissy
Stage right.
Felipe
Stage right. Wow, look at you. Stage right. He's laughing and he has pajama pants on.
Chrissy
He has pajama pants on. He's laughing probably because he knows how up his singer is. Yeah. He's like, God damn it. When I left him at 11:30, last thing I said was, no more cocaine. Go to sleep. We gotta be at Sirius XM at 5:15 in the morning. And Wes said, yeah, no problem, bro. I ain't got any more blow. Meanwhile, in Wes's brain. Thank you. Fit this too. I do. I do have a clue. He's just trying so hard.
Felipe
I mean, his facial expressions are just painful looking.
Chrissy
Just imagine, you know when people stick their head out the window at 100 miles per hour. Like the dog is going down the street with the biggest. Like his. Like his face is all pulled back and floppy. That's how Wes looks every time before he opens his mouth. Oh my God.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
What do you think the serious executives are saying at this moment? If there are any serious executives that attended this particular event.
Felipe
Yeah. They're like, this was a mistake.
Chrissy
Yeah. They're thinking, we should have left Puddle of Mud alone. They were fine where they were.
Felipe
We should have had them do an instrumental.
Chrissy
Yeah. Maybe they're thinking and somebody made a bad call on. I wonder if anybody lost their job over this. Probably not. After three.
Felipe
Like, they are the ones that decided to cover this. Or it was somebody that suggested it.
Chrissy
Here's my guess, because this is how. Because just knowing being in a band for so long, being a. Yeah, you've got singer of prominent rock band Myself, I know how this goes. You go on tour, right, and you're touring. You know, nursing homes, 200. Yeah, nursing homes, House parties. Nursing home house parties. And, you know, band number one out of 22 that will play on Monday night starting at 6:15 in the afternoon.
Felipe
Right. You know the drill.
Chrissy
You're playing 200 nights a year. You don't want to play your own shit always. And so what usually happens is, like during a sound check or when you're in the van or when you're just stopped somewhere or whatever, some guy goes, hey, let's play. You know, Nirvana's a bad girl, you know, and they start twiddling around and they play it.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
Like I said, it's not a particularly hard song to cover. To sing it is because Kurt's original register is very high.
Felipe
Right.
Chrissy
But Kurt had an open throat. There is nothing open about Wes right now. His teeth are clenched. His mouth looks like he's taking a turd. His vocal cords are absolutely closed. Like there's no air going through those vocal clothes. That's why.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
You know, and so they just pick this as one of the way.
Felipe
We have you to break this down.
Chrissy
Yeah. What happens if Brian's not here? Then it's just another useless Wes Scantlin breakdown video. But when Brian's here.
Felipe
Right.
Chrissy
It's just another useless west.
Felipe
You bring a breadth of experience.
Chrissy
I do just. It's all bullshit. But, you know, at least I'm trying. Wes's throat is so close where. Where Kurt's was not. He had this like, very free, scratchy, you know, lot of air going through his mouth. That sounded actually technical. So I think this just. They happened upon this song as one of those songs that they would play every once in a blue moon.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
Probably like the rest of us busted out. Yeah. When they were high on cocaine at the hotel room, they would be like, let's play about a girl again. We'll get this one down. The crowd will go wild. And so they broke this out. They said, hey, we'll play about a girl if it's cool with you. Unfortunately, they didn't count on Wes being up for six days in a row before he showed up. But I think this is how his voice has always sounded because I went back and. And listened to a couple of their live performances. Well, Wes Scantlin, more specifically tours on his own. He does like the casino tours, you know what I'm saying? Casino and small clubs, okay. People show up. And the reason why they show up is because Wes is Inevitably up. And I mean way up. Like, sometimes he's fallen asleep on stage. Sometimes he just sits there and smokes cigarettes and yells at the crowd while the band is playing. Yeah, Chrissy, there are all kinds.
Felipe
One way to do it.
Chrissy
Incredible videos about West Gan. No, he's got a bad drug or alcohol problem and probably some mental issues to go along with it.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
So I don't want to make fun of that, but it's kind of funny, you know what I'm saying? He just like tips over on stage one time. He's sitting on a chair, he's singing the Puddle of Mud songs, which are not meant to be sad. And you don't. If you're going to have a band called Puddle of Mud, you don't sit on stage. That's not what you do. It's all about the cocky rocky dick, right? You're just like, she hates me.
Felipe
What?
Chrissy
What? So he falls over all over the place. Wes is a hot mess.
Felipe
I didn't realize.
Chrissy
Oh, he said like a notorious mess.
Felipe
Although I've just never paid attention.
Brian
No, why would you?
Chrissy
Unless you spend 57 hours in front of your computer every day staring at absurd YouTube videos. Then you would know. But just know this is not unusual for Wes.
Felipe
Okay.
Chrissy
To phone in a horrible par for the courses. Exactly. Right. Let's. Let's listen just another minute.
Felipe
His head, like rose up further off of his body.
Chrissy
I know. He went like 7 inches in the air.
Felipe
Turtle.
Chrissy
Yeah, poor Wes Scanlon.
Felipe
Yeah.
Chrissy
He does. He does say I do take a number two, didn't he? Is that the actual lyrics of the song? I think so. Maybe.
Felipe
Maybe.
Chrissy
Maybe. Hold on one second. I'll go back to about Girl.
Felipe
I don't think it said I do take a number two.
Chrissy
I don't know. Let's see.
Felipe
It could have. Kurt could have gone down that road.
Chrissy
I do pick a number two I'm standing here in your line I do hope you have the time I do pick a number two Meaning T o o I do pick a number two I do keep a date with you he says I do take a number.
Felipe
Two I'm pretty sure he's a date.
Chrissy
Just to bring it to that next level of, you know, artistic authenticity, creativity. He made it so lyrical to About a girl that included I do take a number two, which is so apropos for his face.
Felipe
It really is. Yeah, it goes with you. I mean, that guy is laughing.
Chrissy
That guy is.
Felipe
The guitarist is laughing.
Chrissy
Thinks this is way too funny. It thinks it's way too funny. Which makes me believe maybe that this is all a joke. Like maybe Wes has always been singing this song badly and he's a guitarist. Is like, I'm gonna get you, dude. Yeah, I hate all your drinking and drugging and boozing on the tours. I hate the small paychecks I get because you wrote the only song that ever mattered in the Puddle of Mud category. So guess what? I'm gonna you, dude. He said.
Felipe
Yeah, he encouraged. Yeah, he encouraged it.
Chrissy
We should do about a girl. It's so good. You did such a good job with that, Wes. And you. Well, let me sing it here. Hey, guys, let's sing about a girl. So bad. Well, you know, I was never a big Puddle of the Mud fan in the first. Did you ever like puddle? Do you ever know any of the Puddle of the Mud song? Do you ever care about.
Brian
Well, there you go. Wasn't that fun? It's two days after Christmas. The post holiday depression is slowly setting in. The holiday channels on satellite radio are soon to go away. You're disgusted with yourself about how much you ate during the holiday feast, and you have no idea how to tell your spouse, that was a terrible gift you gave me. But you can always count on Brian and Chrissy to make you feel a little bit better about yourself when you turn us on and wonder how exactly we make a living doing this financial acrobatic. Thanks, my friends. Financial acrobatics. Okay, but you do have to Admit, after almost 700 episodes, we have earned the right to play an old one here or there. We've been your friends through thick and thin. We've seen you through almost five years of life cycles. You've probably been through a relationship or two, maybe had a child or two, most definitely had a job or two, and probably cycled through a few comedy podcasts. But for some reason, like that bad meth addiction, you just can't put us down. I'll admit it surprises me anyone listens. But I'll also admit, and I've said it many times before, there are a lot of people on this earth and many of us are not well. And if you couldn't tell that I'm one of them by this first segment of the show where I delusionally thought I was good at singing, then your crazy picker is off. Okay, well, the new year is right around the corner and. And Chrissy and I will not disappoint. New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, brand new episodes. All of us in the studio, some of us drunker than others. And you will not want to miss my New Year's Day revelation about being helmet buddies with a professional baseball player you will know by name. Drama drops everywhere. I'm spilling the tea. I don't give a shit anymore. I've entered crazy age where white people, people either join a cult, spend too much money on CrossFit, or start a podcast they refuse to stop despite all evidence they should. So, hey, tune in next Tuesday and Wednesday, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, brand new episodes. Okay, I'm going to let you go so I can go spend time with my family. My wife may or may not right now be planning our divorce. Tcbpodcast.com that's the whole shebang. That's everything. Audio, video, information about Chrissy and I. Free TCB schwag. It's all there. One location. Get your free swag by hitting the contact us button. Say I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and I will send you literally everything I've got. Also, be a doll face. Follow us on Instagram. At the commercial break, we started posting again. So that's a plus. TCB podcast on TikTok as long as TikTok's around. And YouTube.comthecommercial break for all of our episodes on video from the new studio. You got to check it out. YouTube.com the commercial break. The same day that they drop here on the audio feed, they drop on the video feed. And just a few days later on Spotify. That's right, press play on Spotify. Turn your phone sideways. There you go.
Chrissy
There will be.
Brian
And one more thing. As we round into season number six, seasons really don't matter anymore. So I don't know why I'm saying this, but as we jump into 2025 and the 6,000th episode of the commercial break, please feel free to text us. We would love to hear from you. And we actually respond. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Text messages of comments, questions, concerns or content ideas. I will literally do free therapy. Therapy with you over text message chain. That's right, toll free from anywhere in the world. Hey, I'll pick up the charges.
Chrissy
Why not?
Brian
What's one more dollar in the red? And if you're feeling extra froggy, you can leave a voicemail. All right, until next week when we see you back in the studio. I must say, I will say, and I do say best to you and goodbye.
Narrator
This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in places that could expose you to identity theft. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. If your identity is stolen, their US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com podcast terms apply.
Jose
This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Get stoked for all the holly jolly vibes this season at Dutch Bros. Stay cozy with returning winter faves. Hazelnut Truffle mocha and Candy cane mocha. Plus the new Winter Shimmer Rebel energy drink blends up sweet cream and blue razz flavor with soft top and shimmer springs to keep those spirits energized all winter long. Download the Dutch Bros app to find your nearest shop. Order ahead and start earning re.
Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – TCB Classic: Puddle Of Dud!
Episode Overview Released on December 27, 2024, "TCB Classic: Puddle Of Dud!" is a nostalgic yet humorously critical episode of The Commercial Break. Hosts Bryan and Chrissy dive deep into one of their less celebrated past episodes, featuring hilariously poor musical performances. This episode serves as both a reflection on the podcast's evolution and a comedic exploration of musical missteps from legendary and not-so-legendary artists.
Revisiting the Past: TCB Classics At the outset ([00:43]), Bryan introduces the concept of "TCB Classic," a segment dedicated to revisiting and reviewing old episodes that didn’t quite hit the mark. He shares an interesting tidbit: "The most popular episode on YouTube is the least popular episode on the audio feed" ([00:43]). This revelation sets the stage for a humorous critique of their own content, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of online platforms.
The Origin of TCB Classics Bryan provides a brief history of the podcast's early days ([03:12]). Initially releasing one episode a week with occasional skips, the frequency ramped up to two episodes a week around episode 50-60. This surge in production "led to the worse the show got" as Bryan candidly admits, "the more episodes we put out, the more opportunity for us to fuck it all up" ([03:13]). This self-deprecating humor underscores the hosts' commitment to consistency, even at the expense of quality.
Spotlight on Episode 203: A Musical Misadventure The focus shifts to episode number 203, a "Best of the Worst" compilation that Bryan unearthed from the archives ([03:58]). This particular episode features a 17-minute clip where Bryan and Chrissy attempted to perform as the teenage band "33 Will." Bryan recounts digging through "50 or 60 collective hours of episodes" to find this gem, noting its paradoxical popularity on YouTube despite being the "least downloaded episode in commercial break history" ([03:58]).
Behind the Scenes: Chrissy’s Band Experience Chrissy takes center stage as she narrates her experience forming a band at 15 years old ([05:57]). She describes the band's formation with friends Dan and Mike, highlighting their lack of musical prowess:
The Infamous Performance: Sunny Side Up The hosts delve into the cringeworthy performance titled "Sunny Side Up" ([07:32]). Chrissy shares her embarrassment over their poor execution:
Their attempts to emulate grunge influences like Pearl Jam and Nirvana fall flat, with Chrissy commenting on their inability to produce a coherent song:
Vince Neil: A Vocal Catastrophe Transitioning to a review of Vince Neil from Motley Crue, Bryan and Chrissy critique his deteriorating live performances ([34:07]). Bryan describes Neil as "a hot mess," pointing out issues like forgetting lyrics and physical exhaustion:
Puddle of Mud’s Nirvana Cover: A Trainwreck The centerpiece of the episode is the review of Puddle of Mud’s cover of Nirvana’s "About a Girl" ([44:09]). Chrissy and Felipe dissect the performance, highlighting Wes Scantlin’s struggles:
The duo mocks the performance's technical flaws and Scantlin’s physical state, turning the review into a comedic highlight of the episode.
Humorous Banter and Host Interactions Throughout the episode, Bryan and Chrissy engage in witty banter, enhancing the comedic value. Their interactions often involve self-deprecation and playful teasing:
Closing Reflections and Future Episodes As the episode winds down, Bryan and Chrissy reflect on the podcast’s journey and tease upcoming content:
They encourage listeners to engage via social media and participate in the podcast's evolving narrative.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
Conclusion "TCB Classic: Puddle Of Dud!" embodies The Commercial Break's signature blend of improvisational comedy, personal storytelling, and sharp pop-culture commentary. By revisiting and humorously critiquing past episodes and musical performances, Bryan and Chrissy offer both entertainment and a candid look at their podcasting journey. This episode is a must-listen for fans seeking laughter and relatable mishaps amidst the chaotic backdrop of pop culture.