
TCB Classic is back! It was only right to start the year off how we ended it...with Frankie B! This episode is one of the first few times Bryan & Krissy reviewed Frankie's videos, and I'm sure you'll all be at attention while listening. Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Brian
I'm normally polite, but if somebody irritates me, I just simply turn around and turn the fuck off. On this episode of the Commercial break.
Christina
My friends, it's me once again here to bring you one more TCB classic before we are back in action. Now, this is an episode I had to search far and wide for because as you are well aware, There are like 700 episodes of this damn show. So I have brought you one of the earliest episodes of Brian and Chrissy. Reviewing Frankie B's videos, I thought it was only appropriate because a lot of our Frankie B Jokes harken back to this very episode. And we ended the year on Frankie, and now we're starting it with Frankie. And so here we are with a TCB classic. Have fun.
Brian
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Okay, without further ado, here we. Here we go. I'm gonna get right in. Back by popular demand, back by unpopular demand is probably the better way to say this. Chrissy. I think it was episode number. I'm taking a guess here, but I believe I'll be right when I say episode 61 or 62. I stumbled upon something that would become lure. An episode you'll never hear. Funny story. On the way to this episode, Chrissy and I, we record live on Fireside. And actually probably a coup episodes that you've heard have been live on Fireside. Whether you know it or not, we've been on Fireside. And so what Chrissy and I did was we recorded an episode that we were lovingly referring to as Bill Murray's voicemail, because I got Bill Murray's voicemail phone number, and I was going to ask people if they wanted to leave Bill a message. Well, we were plagued with technical issues, and it just didn't come out strong out of the gate. And so I decided that I'm.
Chrissy
If you want to listen to it, go to Fireside.
Brian
Go to Fireside and you'll hear the laughter. So there's a guy. So we reviewed some voicemails that I found online, and there is a guy, and he has the best laugh I have ever heard on anyone.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian
It'S like a cartoon laugh. Loved it. So when. If you hear that laugh, that's what we're referring to. I don't want you to be out of the loop because, of course, we never played that episode anywhere. So I play it if we yet another episode. Lost in space 61 or 62. I stumble upon something that will become folklore.
Chrissy
And the gold, Brian, it's gold.
Brian
In the history of the commercial break. The guy's name is Frank Bernardo and he is an expert in all things fitness, fashion, fun, grooming, framing, typography, geography, history, Tic tacs, tik tok, tiaras, YouTube tiaras, fake boobs, real boobs, greasy hair oil, erectile dysfunction. He is an expert in anything over 50. If you're over 50, he's your guy. He knows all about it. He's that guy that you go to the bar and you have a couple drinks and he never shuts up. Actually, he's the guy you go, yeah, these smashes into the bar. He's the guy that you go to the bar and you have. You're looking to have a drink and then he just pops up next to you. Hey, my name's Frank Bernardo. How are you? You want to hear about some fashion tips?
Chrissy
He travels around with a band.
Brian
Yes, he has a band, we think.
Chrissy
Or a boombox, probably.
Brian
Probably be a boombox playing his theme song 24 Hours a Day. So he can, like, you know, come out of water in a pool and look real sexy and cool in slow motion. Throw his hair back. Yeah. Or he's getting a new tattoo.
Chrissy
He looks like he's tatted up.
Brian
Look at my body. So we found Frank and we did. We reviewed three of his online episodes. Yeah, right. They're about 10 to 15 minutes long a piece. We reviewed three and then Chrissy was sick one day and I had to quickly put together an episode. So what I decided to do is I threw together some clips from those three episodes and called it a best of show because we had to take a break because Chrissy wasn't feeling well. Well, we got murdered by about four yahoos, Right, that just probably have never listened to the show ever. And they were like, these guys do the same fucking thing over and over and over again. We have done Frankie three times, and if it wasn't for these, I get.
Chrissy
The most response from Frankie.
Brian
So many people love Frankie B. Including us. We love Frankie B. We affectionately refer to Frankie B. As Frankie B. Yeah, he's got a name. We gave him a name. It's not what he calls himself. His name is Frank Bernardo. We call him Frankie B. Yes. And Frank is our friend. Even though we have never talked to him. He's our friend.
Chrissy
We do need to have him.
Brian
We do need to have him on. Yeah. I don't know. He's kind of gone away. Like, he hasn't posted too much stuff lately. Maybe. Maybe it takes a long tips. Worked his tips. Works. That's right. He's got a girlfriend or he's in jail. One of the Right.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian
Or he's just talking. Somebody's gone.
Chrissy
That's 50. 50.
Brian
Last time I saw him, he was in Mexico. He could have Covid or something. But I tell you what, my friends, I have been sitting on this now for about 37 episodes. That's about four or five months I've been sitting on this particular. And I think it's time that we just do it. 99 episodes in. We're doing our hundredth episode. Let's get one more Frankie B. In under the. Get under the Gun. Yeah. Before we turn 100 episodes. Are you ready?
Chrissy
I'm ready.
Brian
Am I ready? I'm ready.
Chrissy
Are you ready?
Brian
I've been ready for weeks to do this. I've been ready for months. I would have done this one right after the Best of Frankie B. If we had a choice. Yeah. But I waited because of four yahoos out there who told us that we were shitheads that just kept doing the same thing over and over again. You. Here's Frankie B.
Christina
Ready? Yeah.
Brian
Guess what Frankie's talking about today. Erectile dysfunction.
Chrissy
Oh, yeah.
Brian
You've been waiting for this one. Come on now, get excited.
Frank Bernardo
Erectile dysfunction. Yeah, we all experience that from time to time. But if you're experiencing this on a regular basis, maybe you have a problem. So in today's video, I'm gonna go over five things that you can do to eliminate the mental part of ed.
Brian
I'm gonna fix your broken dick now. I'm gonna get you hard. I'm gonna flu. How can you not feel excited after that song?
Chrissy
It reminds me of Pearl Jam's 10.
Brian
Pearl Jam. Let's not even talk about Pearl Jamil. We're talking about Frankie B. How dare you. You can't do that, Chrissy Hoadley. It's against the rules.
Frank Bernardo
What's going on, everybody?
Brian
Hey, that scared me, actually. What's going on, everybody?
Frank Bernardo
And welcome you to my grooming Fitness fashion.
Brian
You know, I say this. I. You know, I make fun of this every time we do a Frankie B. Video or the number of times I've done Frankie B. I always make fun of him going, hey, what's up, everybody? But then this is how we start the show. People are like, I'm sure there are people that do not listen to us on Monday morning because they're like, fuck that, man. Those guys just scream in my ear the entire time.
Frank Bernardo
Lifestyle Channel for guys over 50 who want to up their game, look and feel better about Themselves. Before we get into the video, guys, at any time you like what you're seeing, anytime you dig what you're hearing, do me a favor, guys, give the video a thumbs up, because it'll definitely help this channel grow. And at any time you feel like subscribing, please do so. And welcome to the family. All right, so, guys, welcome to the family.
Chrissy
It's a family pow wow, Family.
Brian
I'm gonna. I'm gonna fix your broken dick.
Chrissy
It's passed down from Bernardo.
Brian
From Bernardo to Bernardo. That Ed problem's passed out from Bernardo to Bernardo. We call it ancient Chinese secret. An ancient Chinese secret. Call it the cure of the flaccid floppy. You got a floppy disk? Don't worry. I'm Frank Bernardo, and I'm here to stiffen you up. How do you think I got my hair like this? Same product. Same product. Just rub a bunch of this industrial stuff, drink hair gel on it. It's gonna be hard as a rock for days. It's gonna cause a nasty yeast infection. But she'll be gone by that. Don't worry about it.
Frank Bernardo
Let's talk about Ed. Now, as you're aware, there's two parts of Ed. There's a mental and there's a physical side. If it's already been determined that you have a physical problem and you're. You're still not where you need to be, well.
Brian
Already determined by who? Well, now, I'm a man of a certain age, 35. It's soon to be 36. It's, you know, any guy who has a dick, which are most of us. Right. Understand. Understand that sometimes it works when you don't want it to. Sometimes it doesn't work when you don't want. When you want it to. And then sometimes it just does things on its own. And you have. There's. You have no idea what's going on right now. I think most of us in our younger years, including myself, don't have too much of a problem with this particular issue, but I do. Control. Yeah.
Chrissy
Control of it.
Brian
Yeah. I have control over it. Yes, I do.
Chrissy
But not then.
Brian
Not then. No, no, no. 20 years ago, I had no control over it. It was just doing its own thing. It was all over the place.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian
Yeah. I had to tuck it under my shirt and stuff there when I was walking up around the high school.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian
That's why I wore a blazer at my. People thought I was alternative. I was just hiding my boners, Hiding my phone, hiding my boner. Hey, Brian. How are you? I'M good. I'm hiding my boner. Shh. I'm adding my high school boner. Be quiet. Don't tell anybody. This like the worst nightmare if you got caught with a boner. And because I went to Catholic school, I had to wear these damn pleated pants. And the pleated pants, sometimes it gets stuck, right? And then it. So it just looked like. It just looked like wearing, like, plaid pleats. Yeah.
Chrissy
Pleated shorts.
Brian
No, it's full length pants. So sometimes my pants went all the way down to my shoes. But then other times, because I had a boner that was like a sock showing like this. And then I have to, like, throw my book bag in front of it. We'll walk down the hallway like this. Hey, why don't you throw your backpack on your back? No, no, I like it better down here.
Chrissy
Just like the G. I had to.
Brian
Carry it right in front of my dick.
Chrissy
Strength. Yeah, strength training.
Brian
I'm working out. It won't go down. I don't know what happened. Ms. Tiernan started talking, talking, talking. Ms. Tiernan started talking about Huckleberry.
Chrissy
She got a little bit low cut shirt.
Brian
God damn it.
Frank Bernardo
Maybe you have a mental problem, too.
Brian
All right?
Frank Bernardo
They do work hand in hand most of the time. If you have a physical problem, it plays mentally on you.
Brian
You with Ed, they do work hand in hand. No pun intended. You know what I mean?
Frank Bernardo
So we gotta shake up and correct the mental side of your Ed problem. And where does that start with?
Brian
Well, I think a thousand bucks. Here comes one of Frankie's circular conversations. He's gonna say, there's.
Chrissy
I think.
Brian
I think. Yeah, there's five parts to this. There's actually going to be 12. And six of them are going to.
Chrissy
Be the same step one.
Brian
I don't even know if we got into any steps yet. These are. Frankie V's videos are all the same. He starts out with things, right? Which end up being 12 things of which there's only really two. And then he just talks in circles.
Frank Bernardo
And I feel that a lot of you guys, you. You let yourself go in life, okay? Especially the older guys. And I'm even going to backtrack.
Brian
There's a reason your dick doesn't work. Because you're a loser. Welcome to the family. Welcome to the family. You fat family.
Chrissy
Subscribe.
Brian
Like, subscribe. Lose weight. You fat. Get that dick right. Let's get your straightened out real quick. Come here. Let Frankie touch it a little bit.
Frank Bernardo
Back on there.
Brian
Yeah, let me give it a little. Let me get a little Taste test, you know what I mean? A little teener. Let me get a little teener tickle of those testicles. Let me get a little testicle teener, if you don't mind. Little T.T. ah, little T.T.
Chrissy
You'Re low on T. Yeah, little testicle cleaner.
Brian
That's right. You know what you need? Shot of straight horse adrenaline. That'll get your dick hard. No, no, son. We're gonna have to put this straight in your penis shaft. Don't worry, it hurts a lot more than it looks.
Christina
What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TCBDO. Give us a follow on Instagram, hecommercial break and on TikTok TCBpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.
Chrissy
Frank.
Brian
Poor Frankie.
Frank Bernardo
We're gonna say a lot of the guys in their 40s, and I'm even seeing an alarming rate of 30 year olds who are already letting themselves go.
Brian
All right?
Frank Bernardo
And what happens, guys, is this just festers in your mind when it comes to. When it becomes time to perform. All right? You're not. You're not happy with your body, you're not happy with your look. And there's that little hang up that's. That's in your mind when it's time to perform. And guess what? You can't shake that hang up because you're worried about what that woman is thinking. What is she thinking about me? Do I look okay?
Brian
Never had this particular problem. I just feel lucky. I'm just like, sweet. Yeah, yeah. She must be blind in one eye. Turn off the lights and get to it real quick, guys. You know, this is a problem. I. I do have to say this is an honest to God problem. And we're not making fun of the problem. Like, I don't want anybody to feel, like, embarrassed about this. People have problems. Like it's a. It's a unit that sometimes doesn't work. And it's like you can't. You Know, as much as you might.
Chrissy
Try mental stuff going on with girls and guys.
Brian
Yes, I agree. Listen, I've been with the attributes to.
Chrissy
The climax version of the sex or.
Brian
It attributes to, you know, lubrication down there. We talked about your sin about this. Right. There's a lot of different issues that can kind of come into play that makes sex awkward, uncomfortable, or just generally undesirable.
Chrissy
Mental is part of it.
Frank Bernardo
Yeah.
Brian
And one of the things that generally makes sex undesirable is me in the equation.
Chrissy
Go run to Charleston.
Frank Bernardo
Do I have to feel soft and pudgy to her? Okay, guys, we don't need that. Let me introduce myself. My name is Frank Bernardo. I'm 58 and a half years old, soon to be 59. And guess what?
Brian
My dick works great. Look at my dick. Look at my cock and balls. Look at my stiffy.
Chrissy
59 and a half. 58.
Brian
58 and a half. Okay, so now we know the number. This is recorded about a year ago, though. So he's now 60. He's almost 60. Okay, he's gonna have to do over. He's gonna have to change.
Chrissy
Yes.
Brian
He's gonna have to wipe all his 2000 subscribers out and go right back to the drawing board. Well, guess I can't do that anymore. Now he's gonna have to change his equation for women. If Frank. If you. If you weren't with us on earlier versions, you can go back and listen to the old Frankie B. Episodes. But Frankie has a whole math equation about what's an appropriate age to date. It really. At the end of the day, we couldn't actually figure out what the math equation was. We just know that it was like.
Chrissy
How to figuring out Fahrenheit to Celsius.
Brian
Yes. It's like pie.
Chrissy
You add 30, subtract.
Brian
It's like I was driving 70 miles per hour. Spain, officer. He's like, it's kilometers, son.
Frank Bernardo
60, little over a year away. Am I worried about it? Hell no. Do I think about it? Not a chance. You know why, guys? Because I don't feel my age. And there's a reason why. The reason is, is I take great. Take physical care of myself.
Brian
I take an immense amount of narcotics.
Chrissy
Steroids.
Brian
I take steroids. I take Viagra by the handful.
Chrissy
Yeah, yeah.
Brian
My dick is ready to go. Literally.
Chrissy
I remember like in the 70s when you had those little things of. Of cocaine that were sitting on tables. Frankie.
Brian
Oh, yeah, yeah. Like the little.
Chrissy
Yeah, Frankie has things.
Brian
Viagra. I'm telling you, I have been to parties where People are passing these around. Like, in. In my 20s and 30s, I went to parties where people were like.
Chrissy
And one guy couldn't get his dick to go down.
Brian
Oh, my God. That was the craziest story. But, I mean, I've told that many times before. But I actually knew a guy who took Viagra recreationally when he did not need it. And he was high on cocaine, and we had to drop him off at the hospital in, like, a drive by shooting. We were just like, ah, see you later. Look at his car. His dick is broken.
Frank Bernardo
Weekly, monthly, and yearly, I do the necessary things to keep myself in top physical form. And guess what? I do the same thing with my mind, my philosophy.
Brian
I do the same thing with my dick. I'm doing reps right now. You just can't see it. 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2. Do those kegels, they work for men, too.
Frank Bernardo
Age only slows you down when you allow it to. Let me repeat that. Age only slows you down when you allow it to.
Brian
Or when you break. Break a hip. That slows you down a lot. Age only slows you down when you get old. That's all I gotta say. Okay?
Frank Bernardo
And unfortunately, in today's society, this is the way it is, guys. Most guys don't give a rat's ass about the way they look, and they are letting age dictate everything in their lives. There's guys out there that are in their 50s that might want to start a workout routine, that might want to better their look, that might want a new haircut, but they say, why? Where am I going with this?
Brian
You know? Exactly, Frankie. Where are you going with it? How do we end up here? What are we talking about? I thought you're gonna fix my dick. What are we talking about?
Chrissy
I love how a guy won't get his hair cut. That's actually the. The major thing that I see that guys do.
Brian
Keep up with me, too. Yeah. Yeah. The one thing that I think most guys are on top of is the haircut. Maybe during the pandemic, things got a little shaggy, but I think we're bringing it back together nicely.
Chrissy
Yeah, the haircuts in.
Brian
That's right. And what are we talking about now, Frankie? It's always the same thing. We always go back to the same thing. Get it? Y. Yeah. My hair is beautiful, my body's awesome, and my dick is hard. He just ends up talking about himself for an hour.
Chrissy
That.
Frank Bernardo
That mentality drives me absolutely nuts, because what happens, guys? It continues to get worse. It doesn't get any Better. Your thought process just continues to get worse. The way you look gets worse. Your diet gets worse. You're losing muscle at a fast clip. And what's gonna happen?
Brian
Your choices in YouTube videos get worse.
Chrissy
This. This video feels like when I was just out in Colorado and I ate an edible. I was like, where am I?
Brian
What am I doing?
Chrissy
What happened?
Brian
And Jeff's like, my dick don't work.
Chrissy
You're like, look at my body.
Brian
Look at my body.
Chrissy
I know to go back to that.
Brian
Meanwhile, you're in a crosswalk in downtown Denver, and people are like, wait, I'm trying to get my dick to work. It's all in my mind. Jeff's like, I gotta figure out of here to make it work down here. Yeah, I'm trying to get a stiffy. Where did you come from? I thought I was having sex with my wife. Wow, honey, these edibles are great. We have an audience. I think a bus just hit you. This is crazy.
Chrissy
Where's Frankie B.
Brian
Where's Frankie B. When we need him?
Frank Bernardo
Your mind's gonna get all effed up over this, okay? What we need to do is we need to install confidence in you, okay? And that all starts with building a better body, building a better mind, having a great diet, look, dress great. And all that's gonna breed confidence. And that confidence is gonna. Is gonna come through in the bedroom. Because, guys, we don't need any.
Brian
Look at my confidence.
Christina
Again.
Chrissy
Like the Kool Aid.
Brian
Yeah. I just feel like, yeah, he's just busting through the. Busting through the bathroom door. Look at my cock.
Chrissy
My confidence.
Brian
Some girl is like, who are you? A couple wakes up out of the bed, they're like, what are you doing here? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought someone called for confidence. No, you better get a haircut, buddy. You're looking a little pudgy. Hey, sweetie, Call me if you ever need a rack iron cac at 59. I'm not worried about it one bit. Haven't thought about it one bit. Although I still call myself 58 and a half. I don't even measure my. Like, I'm. I'm even past measuring in years. I'm just like, I'm 40 something. Whatever cares.
Frank Bernardo
Hang ups when it's time to go to the bedroom. Okay? We need a clear mind. We can't be worried about.
Christina
Whoa.
Frank Bernardo
Does she think I'm a little overweight and. Or how does my. How does my hair look? Does it look. Look okay? We don't need that. We need you to be confident not worrying about any of that. So you can go to the bedroom and do your job, and that's perform.
Chrissy
Do your job.
Brian
We need you to clock in, clock out, and spread your old seed all over some woman. That's what she wants. That's what she's gonna get.
Chrissy
What's the job called for?
Brian
That's right. It's 20, 21, and women are still looking for you to clock in and clock out. Spread that seed, buddy. Get in there. Get out of there. Get out of there, man. You're in there too long. By the way, I'm gonna share this with all of my friends here at the commercial break, okay? If you are going to sleep with a woman, regardless if it's your first time or not, if the mood is there, if we're amorous enough that we're in the bedroom or somewhere, or the bedroom somewhere else. And you know what I mean, if you're there. Yeah. There. She's not worried about what your belly looks like or what your hair looks like. She's ready. Neither should you be. Right? She's ready. You should be. Also, forget all that. Enjoy the moment. Put yourself right there in that moment. Be passionate.
Frank Bernardo
Get it together.
Brian
Do a little teener. Listen, be present for the. I want you to be present for the entirety of that 30 seconds. I want you to be there.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian
Present. 30 seconds.
Frank Bernardo
So, gentlemen, the first thing I want to talk about. I feel this.
Brian
Wait, first thing. Did I rewind the video? First thing. Okay. Oh, this already feels like a long video. Frankie, I thought that was all five you just talked about.
Frank Bernardo
This is probably the most important because this one holds true to just about all guys. And before I get into it, let me explain.
Brian
Before I get into the first one, let me tell you about. There's like a. Let me tell you about point minus zero A and then exhibit B.
Frank Bernardo
Now I'm just gonna briefly touch on each one of these. These are all coming up.
Brian
I'm gonna briefly.
Chrissy
Before we get to the first one, we're gonna briefly touch on all these.
Brian
Yeah, I'm gonna briefly touch on a couple seven other additional points. This is bonus material.
Chrissy
Frankie and an edible.
Brian
Frankie needs someone to. To really make these videos much more concise, because he just gave the same advice he's given in every single video, which is pay attention to your body. Eat right, be confident. Don't worry about how old you are. But he never tells you how to do that. He never gets to the point of, like, what the actual action is that you need to take. Yeah, he just tells You. You need to be a stuffy and a fat, ugly slob with bad hair.
Chrissy
And also, you get a sports car.
Brian
Yeah.
Frank Bernardo
Series of videos. The first one is, you're complacent. You're complacent in your relationship. You're complacent in your jobs, and you're complacent in your looks. What's your relationship? You know, you're married to the same woman for 20, 30, 40 years. You don't give a anymore because she's not.
Brian
You know what? You need some new. That's what'll get your working again. Don't be complacent. Shake it up. Bring a couple extra women into the bedroom. Yeah, you've been in that marriage, what, 70, 80, 90 years? 20, 30, 40 years. What are these people? 90, 20, 30, 40 years. If I'm married to Astrid, 40 years, I'm 112.
Frank Bernardo
Not going nowhere right in your eyes until she leaves you. Then what do you do? The next one is your job. You guys are all comfortable in your job. You may be working there again.
Brian
What does this have to. Excuse me. Frankie.
Chrissy
Working there.
Brian
Excuse me. Frankie. Frankie. Yeah, it's me in the corner over here. What does it have to do with my dick? Can you talk about my dick a little bit?
Frank Bernardo
15, 20, 25 years. Oh, they love me. They don't care what I look like. Well, gentlemen, if you're in Sal and you let yourself go, guess what? You're gonna be gone. And the last one is your looks. You think? You know what? My wife don't care. She loves me the way I look. My job, again, they don't care. I. I bring them big money so I can look like living hell and I'll be okay with it. You see where all that's gonna get you in trouble.
Brian
Can we talk? Frankie, can we talk? Or the editor of this video or whoever is helping Frankie with these videos, he just talked about this for six of the first 12 minutes. He just said these exact same things. And now he's illustrating them again with just a different. He's actually being very specific. He's like, if you're in sales. If you're in sales for General Motors in the Detroit office and you look fat and ugly and you walk into the office your limp dick every day saying, well, you know, I'm the heavy hitter sales guy around here, here. First of all, what are you talking about, Frankie? What?
Frank Bernardo
Let's move on to the next one. Number two, this one's also a monster. And this plays really heavy if you do have an ED problem and it's working out, because, guys, if you're not working out, if you're not taking time to do it daily, at least three times a week, what's going to happen? Your testosterone.
Brian
Excuse me, Frankie, you're talking about sex or working out? I'm just wondering.
Frank Bernardo
It's going to plummet. And without testosterone, guess what, guys? I don't have to tell you.
Brian
So without testosterone, your balls aren't gonna shrink and you are gonna get horrible acne all over your chest. Have you seen that tick tock video of the roid rage guy?
Chrissy
No.
Brian
Okay, ready? I'm gonna share this with you real quick because I think this is funny and I think it's. It's a. It's an interesting. It's simpatico with it.
Chrissy
Okay.
Brian
Huge guy. I mean, like, huge. Like, neck is, like, out to here. Just like muscles like this, this. And he's got this tiny little voice and he's like. Some people think that taking steroids means that you have roid rage. And in the background, some girl walks in the door of. He's filming this in his kitchen. Yeah. And he's like, get the out of the kitchen. You're ruining my video. But it's totally not planned. Like, it's not scripted. She walks in and he goes off on her like crazy. And then he comes back to the camera. He's like. Like I was saying, some people think that you have roid rage.
Chrissy
It's true.
Brian
It's true.
Frank Bernardo
We need to find time to work out. But a lot of you guys say, you know what, Frank? I'm way too busy. I ain't got time to work out. Let me show you why you're dead wrong.
Brian
Let me show you how to. Let me show you a shortcut. Anabolic steroids. Great for you. Great for your attitude.
Frank Bernardo
Okay, guys, you got 24 hours in a day. You sleep eight and you work eight. I'm gonna give you two hours of playtime in the morning, morning and two hours of playtime at night. That leaves you playtime.
Brian
What are we, children?
Chrissy
Two hours of play in the morning.
Brian
I'm gonna give you two hours of playtime in the morning, two hours of playtime at night. I'm gonna give you one hour of nap time. Then you can have snacks, and if you're good, then you can have some dessert. This sounds like what I talk about all day long.
Chrissy
Trolls.
Brian
Trolls. Happy Meal. Trolls. World Tour.
Frank Bernardo
Four hours, guys. Are you telling me you don't have one hour in Those remaining four hours to build better body. To build.
Brian
I am telling you right now, Frankie, I do not have an extra hour to build a better body. This is as good as it's gonna get right now.
Frank Bernardo
More testosterone so you can have the sexual stamina.
Brian
Stamma. There's nothing like sexual stamina to get you through. What is that? A new venereal disease? Sexual stammer. Sexual stammers running rampant through our senior communities.
Chrissy
The villages.
Brian
Yeah, the villages. How's Papa Joe doing? Well, he's got a bad case of stammer. Stammer, Stamma.
Chrissy
Damn stamma.
Brian
Oh, that damn stamma gets you every time. I was fucking her, but then my stamina went out. I got a bad case of the stamina.
Christina
Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail. And we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok, CBpodcast, and of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.
Frank Bernardo
Are you kidding me? We're gonna get you there. So, guys, number three, it's all about the diet. And before I get into it, I want to say that before I get.
Brian
Into it, I'm gonna repeat what I just said 12 times.
Frank Bernardo
That diet and working out, gentlemen, that's harmony. It goes hand in hand. You can't do one and expect results without doing the other. Together. It's very powerful. So let's not say diet.
Brian
You know what else is powerful? This body. You're an.
Frank Bernardo
We're gonna say we're gonna get you eating right. We're gonna get you eating correctly. Because, gentlemen, would you directly put into your body. Do you think it doesn't affect you? Do you think that that doesn't give you issues? And in the ED department, it can, and it most certainly does. So we need to get you.
Brian
That's oysters. We're gonna say this eating to make you sick will do nothing for your prick. You know what I'm saying? If you put it down your throat, it's not gonna float your boat. I don't know what I'm trying to say here, guys. No respect. If you eat too many treats, you won't be able to beat your meats. Okay? You know what I'm saying now to get up your stamina. And let me tell you something. Ah. You know, this is how you get up your stamina. You eat 12 pounds of oysters, 4 milligrams of anabolic steroids, pomegranates, a whole glass of milk. Pomegranates and cocaine. You'll have the stamina to keep on going. I call it the stamina bing bong, bing bong diet.
Chrissy
Eating right.
Brian
Chinese secret. Telling you what passed down from Bernardo to Bernardo, from limp dick to limp dick. All the Bernardo's have had this problem. 22 years old, you can pretty much.
Chrissy
They've also all been cheated on.
Brian
It's like a waterhouse with a spigot turned off. You get cheated on 12 or 13 times by your wife, but different guys nonetheless. Yes. And your dick ain't gonna be able to work, I'm telling you. But you know it's gonna get you back in shape. You know it's gonna get you that.
Chrissy
Coming in a family fold.
Brian
Number one, come in. Ancient Chinese secret. Here it is. Ancient Bernardo secret. You ready for this confidence? Comb your hair, get a gun, get a cut. Get your fashion right. Make sure you have a big engine under the hood.
Christina
Yeah.
Brian
Cocaine, okay? If you do those things in that order, you're gonna be good to go on track.
Frank Bernardo
So, gentlemen, number four. This is big, too. They're all big.
Brian
It's big like my dick. They're all big. Everything's big. Everything I say is important.
Frank Bernardo
Number four, it's all about your grooming. All right? And it's not just body grooming. We're gonna talk about hair. Now, guys, if you've been going to the same barber for year after year, or same stylist year after year, year. And getting the same haircut year after year, first and foremost, you need to fire your stylist or barber because they should be definitely suggesting some new.
Brian
What?
Chrissy
Wow.
Brian
If you've been going to the barber year after year and he's been doing a good job, you know what you need to do? Walk in, punch him in the face, hit him in the potatoes, and say, you know what? You man, they're the reason I'm not getting laid. My link dicks. Because of you. My flaccid penis directly has to do with your hair cutting abilities. Frank Bernardo Says hello. And then they just push Frank in on a card. He smashes through the window. Look at my body. Sorry about the client guy. Yeah, but it's good for video sales.
Chrissy
Fire that guy.
Brian
I'm almost monetizing on YouTube. 20 more subscribers and I'm gonna be making bucks, dude. Everything's big in my world.
Frank Bernardo
And up to date hairstyles because you guys are stuck in a rut. You're stuck in the same old haircut.
Brian
Am I stuck in a rudder? Stuck in a cut? Not sure.
Chrissy
Stuck in a rug.
Frank Bernardo
If you've had that haircut now for five, six, seven years, chances are, guys, it's out of style. So we're gonna get you two. Step outside the box a little bit.
Brian
You should try one of those buns. Those man buns, they're right in style. Right now, this moment. They're so hot with the over 50 crown. You know Ryan Gosling, he would do a man bun if he could. He just doesn't have the hair. How do I know? Because. Because I beat up his stylist for him. I said, you've been doing Ryan's hair way too long. Look at that poor dick. Doesn't even work anymore look.
Frank Bernardo
Which is going to give you a better feel. And grooming doesn't just stop at the hair. Let's look at our overall body hair. Our ears, our nose, our eyebrows, especially in this area.
Brian
Our scrundle sex. My body is a wonderland.
Chrissy
All goes back to the body.
Brian
It all goes back to Frank's body.
Frank Bernardo
Once we get in our 40s, it grows at an alarming rate, almost double. So you gotta stay on par with your grooming. And once you get all your grooming in check, you're gonna exhume confidence.
Brian
You're gonna exhume confidence. I just want you to know that your stamina is going to be up and you're gonna exhume confidence. You're gonna literally pick it up out of the grass ground. You're gonna bring in a backhoe and get that. Get that confidence. Yes. I'm here to exhume confidence. Yeah. We buried it at plot number 33, Right next to your stamina.
Frank Bernardo
Like you've never had before. And when you have confidence, it's gonna roll right into the bedroom. Everything goes hand in hand. Gentlemen, number five.
Brian
Everything goes Dick and Dick.
Chrissy
Everything goes hand in dick.
Brian
Number five. Sword fighting. This is the way we practice. Gotta keep it up. I want you to go to your new barber and say, excuse me, can you trim my tree trunk right here? If you don't mind? And then can we do a little sword fighting? You know, the porn guys make their dicks look big. They shave it down close. That's how ancient. Ancient. Bernardo. Secret. I'm telling you what, I'm gonna throw.
Frank Bernardo
Two at you over here. It's lifestyle and your fashion. Fashion. Guys, I really think we need to clean up our fashion because Most guys in their 40s, 50s, 60s on up. Okay.
Brian
You are wearing from the 60s, 70s and today. B98.5 grooming tips from the 60s, 70s, and today. It sounds like a fucking radio commercial.
Chrissy
It does.
Brian
Dick stiffening help from the 70s, 80s.
Chrissy
And today and beyond.
Brian
Yeah, your dick stiffening tips for your working day. P. 98.5.
Chrissy
They're playing at a dentist.
Brian
I know. B. 98.5. A hit from the 70s. Shave your balls for maximum dick legs. Hi, Mr. Green. The dentist is ready for you now. Doctor Oswald will see you now. Oh, just one more minute. I wanted to catch this dick grooming tip. I love this station. What is it? Oh, it's D.98.5. D. It's D.98.5. Dick grooming hits from the 70s, 80s and today. All your stamina in one place. We've exhumed your. Your favorite hits. Here's one of your favorites from Frank Bernardo. It's called confidence.
Frank Bernardo
Old man Clothes. You are wearing clothes that are out of style. What is it with the New Balance white gym shoes that all you guys are wearing? Let me clean up.
Brian
What's your fucking problem?
Chrissy
I'm in New B.
Brian
Welcome to the family. I'm gonna murder you.
Chrissy
Oh, my God.
Brian
New Balance. Wow. Pick it on.
Chrissy
New Balance white.
Brian
I don't even think New Balance makes New gym. New gym shoes in white. It's all colors. I don't even know. Poor Frank.
Frank Bernardo
All your fashion. And once we do that, guys, there again, you're gonna have confidence. You're gonna have pep in your step. You're gonna walk with your shoulders back.
Brian
You're gonna have pep in your stick. You're gonna stiffen your dick. Don't even worry about it. You're gonna get that tent back, boys. You're gonna proudly, proudly walk through the mall with your dick hard as a rock. Wow. Brian got his dick back.
Chrissy
I heard things were different.
Brian
Did you lose some weight?
Frank Bernardo
Cut your hair?
Brian
I don't know. Something's different about you. Maybe it's your raging heart. That's right. I exhumed my confidence and got my stammer back and now won't go down.
Chrissy
Can you Take me to the hospital.
Brian
Can you mind dropping me off at the hospital? I think I'm having an emergency. Wow, you are looking kind of blue because all the blood is now rushed out of my head and into my cockpit. Thanks, Frankie B. No problem. Make sure you smash that.
Chrissy
Subscribe.
Brian
Welcome to the family. We have a discount program at the hospital. You need to get that deflated.
Frank Bernardo
Or going to be different. That's the name of the game with everything here.
Brian
I just see it now. There's thousands of people that subscribe to this channel that they take his advice and just like thousands of emergency room visits for hard dicks. As soon as you listen to this advice.
Chrissy
I don't even know exactly what the advice is.
Brian
There is no advice.
Chrissy
Get your hair cut. That's all I've heard.
Brian
Get your hair cut. Work out your body.
Chrissy
Actually get your hair cut. And then like punch that person in the face.
Brian
You're fucking fired. No wonder my dick doesn't work. It's you. You're the problem. There's like violence all over the place again. The third barbershop murder in a week here in Atlanta, Georgia. As men are blaming their flaccid cocks on their barbers. Let's go live to Jim down on the scene. It's another disastrous scene down here as the man walked in apparently and said, you're the problem for my floppy cock. Shot the barber twice in the head and left Zol. Coming back to a man named Frank Bernardo. Online life. Frankie, I make apologies for nothing. There's a problem in this country and it's old barbers here is to be. I have a feeling maybe a barber is someone who slept with his ex wife.
Chrissy
Yeah.
Brian
Yeah.
Frank Bernardo
Different lifestyle. Are you happy with your lifestyle? If you're not, I got a lot of suggestions. I got a lot of things that we can do to better your lifestyle.
Brian
I just can't tell you here. Call me.
Frank Bernardo
So gentlemen, if you incorporate everything that I just talked about.
Brian
If you incorporate. What is he talking about? That's three big mistakes on words. His stamina, exhuming confidence.
Chrissy
And corporate.
Brian
And corporate.
Chrissy
You incorporate.
Brian
If you incorporate all of this stuff. If you incorporate all of this stuff, you'll be in a different tax bracket. Talk to your attorney about that. I'm no tax professional.
Frank Bernardo
And that's not being complacent.
Brian
That's complacent of. Don't be complacent. Get your stamina up. Exhume your confidence. Remember to incorporate everything.
Frank Bernardo
Having a better body. That's eating right. That's by having impeccable grooming habits. That's by having great fashion and a wonderful lifestyle. Gentlemen, if you've got everything going, what does that exhume? It exudes.
Brian
He keeps on saying it. I thought he just made a mistake. And now I'm realizing he has no clue what he's talking about. He's gonna exhume confidence.
Frank Bernardo
Confidence.
Brian
And what does exhume? Confidence.
Frank Bernardo
Confidence. Brings you to the bedroom even more confidence. If you've got everything working in your life, there's nothing mentally with ed that's gonna shut you down. But if you got hang ups on anything I talked about. Yes, because you're gonna be worrying about it when you're with your wife, when you're with your girlfriend, and.
Brian
And it's time for you to both. When you're with. When you're with your wife, when you're with your girlfriend. Probably not at the same time. Or, hey, I don't know, 20, 21, maybe. Everyone's just exhuming.
Chrissy
Exhuming. Stamina.
Brian
Just stamina. Exhibit your exemption. That's all I gotta say. You can exhibit your exemption in the way that you want to get on that stamina right now.
Frank Bernardo
Right when you have a clear mind, body and soul, and all you gotta do is perform, you're gonna be a rock star.
Brian
Sounds simple. Get right on that. When you have a perfect mind, body and soul, when you've reached karma like the Buddha did, your dick's gonna be rock hard. Nothing you can't conquer.
Chrissy
I don't know how to get that way.
Brian
It's like a billion dollar industry. People try to figure that out, but okay, Frankie's got it licked.
Frank Bernardo
Grain of salt. And just apply it to your everyday routine. All right, guys, so before I end this video, listen. The whole thing may sound ridiculous, but.
Brian
What I. Yep, it does. Yes, it does.
Frank Bernardo
I'm trying to do, in the preface of my channel, it is to get guys in their 50s, upper 50s, 60s, even guys in their 40s, to actually stop letting yourself go. Stop letting yourself.
Brian
But stop, stop.
Frank Bernardo
Body deteriorate, your mind deteriorate, you're grooming. All of the above. Yes. It sounds crazy that if you have better grooming, you're going to perform better sexually. But what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to paint an overall picture of health and confidence for you. And that is going to radiate in the bedroom when you perform.
Brian
You are literally. It's gonna radiate. It's probably because you've been exhuming some down the street. Yeah. Hey, listen, works for me. It works for me.
Frank Bernardo
Again, guys, no hang ups. You should be a monster. This concludes the video. Thank you for watching. Guys over 50, we're not dead. We're just getting started.
Chrissy
With what?
Brian
I don't know. I don't know what I learned from that video. I didn't learn a thing. That's what makes Frankie B. So great. You see, there's a lot of platitudes. Frankie just has a big videos with a lot of platitudes. Yeah, and he talks in circles. And you end up learning nothing.
Chrissy
Right.
Brian
If I. If I was a guy with an ED problem. Yeah, you learned about exhuming and stamma.
Chrissy
And stammer radiating and.
Brian
And in corporate. Corporate. Everything you learned here in corporate we trust.
Chrissy
I'm gonna radiate that.
Brian
Radiate. That's all I gotta say. 99 episodes in, and we ended on a high note with Frankie B.
Chrissy
Hey, listen here.
Brian
Welcome to the Converse Rain. Look at my podcast.
Christina
Okay, everyone, that is the end of what was episode 99 and what is now also episode 672. That's crazy. We'll be back next week, so in the meantime, you can text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB and find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on tickets. Tik tok@tcb podcast. And check out our YouTube channel for our video episodes. And also our website, tcbpodcast.com for literally anything else. Love you.
Brian
Bye, Sam.
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: January 3, 2025
Episode: TCB Classic: The Curious Case Of E.D.
Theme: A comedic deep-dive and roast of "Frankie B," a self-proclaimed over-50 lifestyle expert, through the lens of his YouTube video on erectile dysfunction. The hosts ridicule Frankie’s mix of questionable advice, circular logic, and unintentional word inventions, blending improv with personal anecdotes and relentless banter.
Bryan and Krissy revisit one of their foundational comedic bits: reviewing and mocking “Frankie B.” (Frank Bernardo) and his infamous online advice videos—this time focusing on Frankie’s guide to conquering erectile dysfunction (ED), “especially for guys over 50.” The episode is a wild hybrid: humor, nostalgia for early Commercial Break episodes, and poking relentless fun at Frankie B’s rambling, platitude-heavy self-help.
Frankie’s convoluted roadmap becomes a comedy goldmine for the hosts:
This episode is a hallmark "TCB Classic": unstructured, wildly funny, and perfect for fans of improv roast comedy. Bryan and Krissy’s perennial mockery of Frankie B. reaches its peak through his “Erectile Dysfunction” advice, deconstructing every tip with a mix of sarcasm, callbacks, and uproarious original bits (such as the D.98.5 radio spoof). The real message? Frankie B. never really tells you how to fix anything, but he sure exudes (or “exhumes”) confidence—and so do the TCB hosts, as they make the utterly ridiculous, gloriously entertaining.
Final Note:
If you want cringe comedy, nostalgia, over-50 lifestyle parodies, and a never-ending stream of sexual innuendo, this is signature Commercial Break—“Welcome to the family. Lose weight. Get your dick right. Let’s get you straightened out real quick. Come here. Let Frankie touch it a little bit…” (12:29, Bryan)
"99 episodes in, and we ended on a high note with Frankie B." (47:36, Brian)