TCB Classic: The Frankie B Tour Agency

Summary

The Commercial Break – "TCB Classic: The Frankie B Tour Agency"

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Release Date: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Theme: A comedic deep-dive into the world of Frankie B—TCB’s accidental muse—centered on the hilariously underwhelming travel review of a Puerto Rican hotel.

---

Episode Overview

This "TCB Classic" throws listeners into the zany, self-aware world of The Commercial Break. With Krissy in Memphis and Bryan in New York, they revisit “one of the great Frankie B moments”: a travel review video so spectacularly shoddy, it has become the stuff of TCB legend. The episode weaves together birthday shenanigans, listener engagement, best-friend banter, and a meticulously roasted breakdown of Frankie B’s approach to hotel reviewing. The recurring motif: everything is just a bit “off”—from potted plants to the existential nature of the "chair area."

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. TCB Banter: Birthdays & Google Traditions

[01:54–09:23]

• Bryan congratulates Krissy on her birthday week and proposes the “Google Birthday” tradition: searching what other "K. Hoadleys" are up to around the world.
• They riff on:
  • A pandemic nurse (“saving the world”), a mobster-style wedding photographer, a Federal Reserve worker, and a podiatrist.
  • Their reactions to odd reality TV shows: “My Feet Are Killing Me” and “Dr. Pimple Popper.”
  • Quote:
    • "Once you go pee, you never... Once you go pee, you never know what you. I don't know. I don't know." – Bryan [02:26]
    • "Swirl it around. Both nuts are involved. On my right nut, I get a hint of earthiness. On my left nut, just a bit of sheep." – Bryan [04:43]
  • Bryan’s confusion at job listings, and a joking heist to tape together shredded Federal Reserve money.

2. Impromptu History Lesson: Girls in Little League

[09:24–12:29]

• Bryan spotlights Kristen Hoadley, one of the first girls to play Little League in New Jersey after a civil rights ruling.
• Touching moment of TCB pride, followed (naturally) by a riff on finding a “Hoadley” in porn.
• Quote:
  • “You are one of the first young ladies to play organized baseball with the boys after the civil rights movement.” – Bryan [09:54]
  • “A pioneer. One of the more disturbing images I've ever seen in porn was her whacking herself off in a bathroom.” – Bryan [12:11]

3. Best Friend Quiz & Moon Taxi Mishap

[12:28–17:31]

• Bryan and Krissy quiz each other on personal facts and embarrassing stories:
  • Hula hooping, hating things flying off trucks, celebrity crushes (“Jeff from Moon Taxi”), and podcast woes.
• Hilarious festival backstage story: Bryan mistakenly claims “Jeff from Moon Taxi” to steal beer, not realizing there's no Jeff in the band.
• Quotes:
  • “Confidently and act like you know what you’re doing.” – Krissy [15:28]
  • “That's the number one rule if you have to sneak backstage somewhere: pretend you know what you’re doing.” – Bryan [15:30]

4. Lightning Rounds: Preference Game

[17:36–18:39]

• Quick-fire favorites: coffee vs. tea, chocolate vs. ice cream, mountains vs. beach, early bird vs. night owl, etc.
• More gentle teasing about Krissy’s “natural rhythms” and her late rising time (11:38am).

5. The Main Event: Bestowing the ‘Frankie B Travel Review’

[19:20–61:35]

a. Set-Up: Introduction to Frankie B’s Awkward Travel Review

[19:20–20:42]

• Bryan describes Frankie’s notoriety for odd, unintentionally hilarious content.
• Announces they’ll break down his "La Concha Renaissance Marriott San Juan, Puerto Rico" review as a birthday treat for Krissy.

b. The Roast Begins: Frankie’s Leather-Tomato Tan & Instantly Dated Hotel

[20:42–25:35]

• TCB explodes at Frankie’s sun-scorched look: “He is literally a leather tomato.” – Bryan [21:17]
• Jokes about mafia ties and getting whacked on Frankie’s orders.
• Mocks Frankie’s advertising and franchise schemes: “Go where no one is. You won’t have any competition. Or customers.” – Bryan [23:20]

c. The Review: Masterpieces of Nothingness

• Frankie’s "Information":
  • The hotel is “dated but beautiful.”
  • The ocean waves will “destroy you” (they don’t); Frankie pans to a tiny ripple.
  • The gym: treadmills by the window—“like every other gym in America.”
  • The hotel is special because it’s "a hotel inside a city."
  • The main decor theme? “Potted plants.”
  • Fixation on chair area, luggage area, and sitting ledge.
• Quotes & Commentary:
  • “The best thing about Puerto Rico is the sun, and I have been standing directly on it.” – Bryan [21:19]
  • “He’s literally reviewing the ocean.” – Bryan [28:27]
  • “Do I like this pool? Absolutely not. So let's roll.” – Frankie B [36:46]
  • “This gets one out of ten bees.” – Bryan [37:00]
  • “Potted plants, sir… If you see a palm in the corner that's unpotted, you let us know!” – Bryan [44:44]
  • “The thing that makes this hotel very unique: it’s in the middle of a city.” – Bryan, mocking Frankie [47:08]
  • “Our luggage area. Oh my god, look, there's a TV. Hi, TV.” – Bryan [59:18]
  • On Frankie’s chest-thumping for “real life” in room tour: “Don’t make assumptions, Frankie... He just can’t stop. He can’t get enough of himself.” – Bryan [57:51]
  • “Chair area. It’s not a chair area. It’s just a chair.” – Bryan [60:10]

d. Bryan & Krissy’s Recurring Bits and Callbacks

Ongoing:

• Mocking the seriousness with which Frankie presents shallow content.
• Inventing alternate hotel features (“Would you like a chair area for $100 more?”).
• Highlighting Frankie's obliviously vacuous advice for travelers.

e. Memorable Moments

• Frankie’s “enthusiasm” for potted plants as the hotel’s unique selling point (recurring all episode).
• The never-ending promise of “more on that later” from both Frankie and the hosts.
• Jokes about rating pool shapes, speculating on Frankie's murky wealth, and his video editing skills (“He’s like a George Lucas in the editing room.” – Bryan [25:13])
• Krissy’s plans to Instagram her next hotel’s “chair area” and “luggage area.”

---

Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• [02:26] Bryan: “Once you go pee, you never... Once you go pee, you never know what you... I don’t know. I don’t know.”
• [04:43] Bryan (mocking wine snobs): “Swirl it around. Both nuts are involved. On my right nut, I get a hint of earthiness. On my left nut, just a bit of sheep.”
• [09:54] Bryan: “You are one of the first young ladies to play organized baseball with the boys after the civil rights movement.”
• [12:11] Bryan: “A pioneer. One of the more disturbing images I've ever seen in porn was her whacking herself off in a bathroom.”
• [21:17] Bryan: “He is literally a leather tomato.”
• [28:27] Bryan: "He’s literally reviewing the ocean. I love you, Frankie.”
• [36:46] Frankie B: “Do I like this pool? Absolutely not. So let’s roll.”
• [37:00] Bryan: “This gets one out of ten bees.”
• [44:44] Bryan: “Potted plants, sir… If you see a palm in the corner that's unpotted, you let us know! We are known for our potted plants.”
• [47:08] Bryan: “The thing that makes this hotel very unique: it’s in the middle of a city.”
• [57:51] Bryan: “Don’t make assumptions, Frankie... He just can’t stop. He can’t get enough of himself.”
• [60:10] Bryan: “Chair area. It’s not a chair area. It’s just a chair.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment Description | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:54–09:23| Birthday week banter; Google Birthday; nurse & Fed Reserve bits | | 09:24–12:29| Kristen Hoadley, civil rights, and “Hoadley” porn discoveries | | 12:28–17:31| Best Friend Quiz, Moon Taxi beer-theft story | | 17:36–18:39| Quick-fire favorites: coffee/tea, burger/pizza, etc. | | 19:20–20:42| Intro to the Frankie B Travel Review roast | | 20:42–25:35| Frankie’s “leather tomato” tan; mafia jokes, franchise bits | | 25:35–61:35| Deep-dive roast of Frankie B's travel review; chair areas, waves, potted plants, and more |

---

Overall Tone and Takeaways

The episode is quintessential TCB: self-aware, irreverent, and driven by the chemistry between Bryan and Krissy. Their comedic style thrives on tangential roasts, callbacks, and the joy of riffing on “content that’s just fine.” Frankie B’s travel review serves as a perfect muse—a lens for lampooning influencer culture, hotel review absurdities, and the earnest yet oblivious confidence of Internet personalities everywhere.

For new listeners:
You’ll feel like you’re eavesdropping on two friends mercilessly—and lovingly—tearing down the world’s most mediocre travel review video. If you appreciate inside jokes, callbacks (“chair area,” “more on that later”), and a high concentration of in-jokes, you’re in for a treat.

---

Final Quotes to Sum Up the Episode

• “[Frankie B] is unlikable, yet extremely likable. And you want to hate him, but you end up loving him.” – Bryan [24:09]
• “Happy birthday, my friend! Thank you for that birthday present. It's always a present when Frankie’s involved.” – Krissy [61:35]
• “The gift that keeps on giving. Yes, Frankie B.” – Bryan [61:42]

---

Best to you, TCB fans. Don’t forget to check your chair area and inspect for potted plants next time you travel. More on that later…

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

You know, it's been a hell of a long time since Chrissy and I have heard anything from our bread and butter muse, the guy who pretty much put TCB on the map, if the map was very small and had a population of like 10. But regardless, that guy Frankie B. Is nowhere to be found. We've heard nothing from him. We have no idea where he is. He is not putting out new content, which makes Chrissy and I believe that he's probably got a girlfriend telling him, I'll be damned if you're going to put out any of those videos while you're with me. And that's okay, Frankie, I wish you nothing but love. I hope everything's going swimmingly for you. But the other day, flying home from New York, I happened upon a commercial break, episode, a very old one of Frankie B. And I thought to myself, let's do a best of on Frankie B. So here you go. While Chrissy is in Memphis and I am in New York, you get old Frankie B. Here's one where he was review. He became a like a Travel reviewer for 13 seconds. He did one video on a trip that he took somewhere in Mexico. Not a particularly nice place, but he does an excellently shitty job of reviewing the location where he stayed. So here it is, Frankie B. In Mexico for you. And we'll be back live next week with new episodes streaming and on the RSS feed of the commercial break. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yes, sir. Another episode of the commercial break coming at you live from the TCB studios located somewhere north of Atlanta. I'm Brian Green, this is my good friend Chrissy Hoadley.

[C]

And best to you.

[B]

Best to you, Chrissy.

[C]

Best to you, Brian.

[B]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe and super excited because it is your birthday week.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[B]

Look at that. How young are you, may I ask? Because my mom told me it was polite to ask a woman her age.

[C]

I don't know. I'm 29 forever.

[B]

29 forever. Is that the age you'd want to be stuck at? 29. What age would you want to be stuck at? A Groundhog Day situation?

[C]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe it would be 29.

[B]

29. I think 33 would be mine.

[C]

33 p. Yeah, 33 p. That's.

[A]

It.

[C]

Falls right.

[B]

It falls right in there. Because, you know, once you go pee, you never. Once you go pee, you never know what you. I don't know. I don't know.

[C]

No, all the years are good to me.

[B]

Yeah, well, you look good.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Whatever age you are, you look fantastic. Not a day over 10.

[C]

I'm like the girl that's aging backwards.

[B]

Shauna Ray. Yeah.

[C]

She just doesn't age.

[B]

She just doesn't. She's dating, by the way, now. It's very interesting. Very. The guy did not know how. What she looked like before he met her. Right.

[C]

That's a little bit of a surprise.

[B]

Instant connection. I'm a little suspicious of the guy, but okay, whatever. All right, so it's your birthday week and I've decided to start a new tradition here at the commercial break on our birthday weeks. It's not. You know, this won't fall. What? People are listening whenever they're listening. They may not be listening on your birthday.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

But we are going to have a Google birthday because we know the Chrissy Hoadley that's sitting in front of us. The audience has now had 150 some odd episodes to understand who you are. And while many will complain that I'm the only one who talks on the show, while many wish he had heard more of you. You. We. I know who you are. I think I know who you are.

[C]

Hopefully after all this time.

[B]

All this time. But do we know what the other Chrissy Hoadley's around the world are doing?

[C]

No.

[B]

It's your Google birthday, Chrissy.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Are you ready?

[C]

Are there other Chrissy Hoadleys?

[B]

There's only one Chrissy and Kristen and Christie's. So I just looked for K. Hoadley. It's basically what I did. Because if you actually, if you Google Chrissy Hoadley, it's pretty much you. That comes up now that we have all this awful content. That comes up. I mean, we're never. I hope you don't plan on getting another the job after this because I

[C]

don't think I could.

[B]

Yeah, because, you know, the DD Canter episode is. Is not what you want your. It's a class boss to hear.

[C]

Maybe it is. If they think it's funny.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Then they're.

[B]

Your balls have impeccable taste.

[C]

Is that a 1970 mama?

[B]

Is that a mama? Excuse me, sir, would you like to sniff? No, no, no, no, sir. Straight to my balls, please. I'm gonna put my balls on the decanter and let it wash over.

[C]

Swirl it around.

[B]

Swirl it around. Both nuts are involved. On my right nut, I get a hint of earthiness. On my left nut, just a bit of sheep. I had someone tell me that once in a tasting. Sheep, Sheep. Sheep. What do you call it? Sheep. Do or sheep manure or something like that. We were at, like, we were at the Silver Oak Winery, I think in California. Okay. And he's like, do you notice some. Some like. I don't know what he called it.

[C]

Sheep essence.

[B]

Yeah, sheep essence. Do you know some sheep ass in there? I do. He was actually trying to tell us that there was hints of sheep in there. And I was like, this is. This is not for me. I gotta get going.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Chrissy Hoadley's around the world are doing the following things.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

There's a nurse that has been working during the pandemic to save lives that Kay Hoadley is kicking ass.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice. She seems a little stressed out about life. I'm not going to give any identifying information. She seems a little stressed out about life and she wishes everybody would get vaccinated.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But Kay Hoadley is saving the world.

[C]

Good, good. Good girl.

[B]

Kay Hoadley is also a wedding photographer in the northeast. And it seems like she's mainly. I don't know, her wedding style seems to be Soprano. Ish. If you would.

[C]

If you don't mind, like mobster.

[B]

Like mobsters.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Like, it just seems like there's a lot of opulence and a lot of, I don't know, over the top. I see. I flew. I flipped through some of the pictures and I feel like there's a lot of characters in there, if you know what I mean.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Sorry, Hoadley. I'm going to call you all of you. Hoadly. I'm sorry. Holy. I don't know who you are. I'm just making you some assumptions based on your available social media feed. You work at the Fed Reserve. Oh, counting money, I'm assuming. I wish you had that job. Now.

[C]

I visited the reserve here in Atlanta

[B]

and what did they have to say?

[C]

They. They had everything to say about money.

[B]

Yeah, it was good.

[C]

It was a good little tour.

[B]

I didn't even know what the Federal Reserve does. I don't think anybody does, actually.

[C]

They print the money.

[B]

I know, I know. They print.

[C]

You can get those bags, you know,

[B]

the dollars ripped up. Dollars?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can you paste them back together?

[C]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

I mean, you can take. You people take a rip. Dollar bill. Yeah, right.

[C]

Yeah. But into like 50 pieces.

[B]

I don't know. I. I think we might.

[C]

Plus it's telltale signs because it's, like, perfectly ripped.

[B]

Oh, it is? Yes.

[C]

Shredded.

[B]

Well, I mean, listen, I think this might be a. A job for one of the sack pack. We can Just get them to take a fed reserve tour every couple of days, bring back the cash, tape it together, whatever they can tape together. We'll give them a 10% cut.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Three days to put a dollar back together.

[C]

Right.

[B]

George Washington is. Ah, sir, you are a doctor?

[C]

Well, of course I am.

[B]

Of feet.

[C]

Okay. A podiatrist. Okay.

[B]

What a weird thing to be a doctor of, don't you think? Yeah, I mean I need. I know you need them. I know you need them. I know you need those feet. But a podiatrist? I remember the old Seinfeld episode.

[C]

Some people may have just calling.

[B]

Some people might have a calling or a fetish.

[C]

Right. That could be true.

[B]

I. You know. You know it. Show that I cannot watch on tlc. The two shows that I cannot watch.

[C]

What?

[B]

My feet are killing me. Or Dr. Pimple Popper.

[C]

No, I can't watch the pimple.

[B]

What an awful fucking. And I know that. I know one of the girls who actually put this show on television. And. And it's. What an awful fucking show.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I. If we're eating dinner and the TV happens to be on. On TLC and one of those commercials comes on, I have to run to turn off the television because I'm going to fudgeing throw up. That's an awful television show. Tlc. You should take it off. I know that there are people watched it just do. On.

[C]

Just based on the name. I'm not watching it.

[B]

You know people. Some people like that. They're into that. Yeah.

[C]

Y.

[B]

Updated Some girls and. Let me pimp your. Let me pop your black. No, no, no, don't get away. Just don't leave me alone. What are you doing? You're so weird. Or you gotta sit on your back? Let me get it. No, no. You're up, man. You up. You like to see people suffer for no good reason. And then you like to watch the carnage. Unbelievable. Podiatrist. Yeah. But now this lady's like taking on like massive size. Like, you know.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't know what you call them. Boils.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Like, you know, someone's got a basketball on their head. Yeah. And she like takes a scissors.

[C]

Don't tell me.

[B]

Oh, Chris, it's disgusting, man. But I think the most impressive thing that K. Hoadley has done in history is the following. Are you ready for this? Okay, I'm ready to share a little video with you. So let me get this set up here. We're here in the TCB studios, YouTube.com/the commercial break like and subscribe. I think one of the more impressive things that A K Hoadley has ever done is this. I'm gonna let Walter Cronkite talk about it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Are you ready?

[C]

This is exciting.

[B]

Almost two months ago, New Jersey ordered state Little League teams to allow girls to play. But the civil rights order is met with resistance. And now the state says it wants to get a court order. Sylvia Chase reports on one 11 year old new Jersey girl who's trying to play Little League ball despite the controversy.

[D]

Any day the sun is shining, winter or summer, you'll find a baseball game going on in Kristen Hoadley's backyard in Marlboro, New.

[B]

You are one of the first young ladies to play. That's right. One of the first young ladies to play organized baseball with the boys after the civil rights movement. That's right, Civil rights movement and the Supreme Court's order that women and men be treated equally, including in some of these sports. I don't think it's called. I think title nine came later. But you were one of the four first young ladies in New Jersey.

[C]

Paving the way.

[B]

Paving the way. I think this is so impressive.

[C]

I love it.

[D]

Kristen's mother says that when this all began a few years ago, the boys didn't want a girl in their game.

[B]

Wait a minute. What? You have to provide us a catcher. No, Michael, get back.

[D]

But Kristen is too valuable a player to exclude. And this spring when her playmates go marching off to the previously all male Little League Kristen and is going to

[B]

play for the San Francisco Giants. Nice.

[C]

I love this story.

[B]

So cool to me.

[C]

Very cool.

[B]

So I read about this young girl. She's a super impressive. I mean there's a lot of news about her then. I don't know. I didn't find too much about her. Now she is still alive. I assume she is. This is just back in the 60s so I assume that, you know, she must be in her 70s or maybe even 80s now. Yeah. But this young girl fought to play backyard baseball. Fought to play in little league baseball with the boys and, and, and just because she wanted to for no other reason. And she's good and she's good. The guys want because she's a right fielder and she can play shortstop and she switch hits. This is the girl.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is the girl that you want. Kristen Holdy. You are impressive across the world.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[B]

And thank you for your contribution to society. I just want you to know that without you I'm not really sure what we would do.

[C]

I'M happy to help.

[B]

Well, so I'm glad you didn't find

[C]

any, like, mass murderers.

[B]

Oh, no. But I found a ton of porn. There is a ton of porn. There is a very famous porn star with the last name Hoadley. She goes by, like, Kia Hoadley or something like that. Let me tell you something.

[C]

Hoadley is an interesting porn name.

[B]

It is. It's not.

[C]

You think you would have changed?

[B]

Well, I know you, so for me, it's like, I'm not watching any Hoadley porn. That's just not it. However, I did find one grandma named Hoadley that was doing porn. And let me tell you something again.

[C]

A pioneer.

[B]

A pioneer. One of the more disturbing images I've ever seen in porn was her whacking herself off in a bathroom. I'm just saying, if you're into grandma porn, and that's your thing. Cool, man. But I'm not sure.

[C]

Why did you watch it?

[B]

Okay, you want to do a little. You want to see how well I know you?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Let's do a little best friend quiz. Yeah. I haven't looked at these ahead of time, so I don't know. Okay. Okay. I just. I just slapped him on there. When is your birthday? Your birthday is 19th of February. How many brothers and sisters do you have? You have two sisters. What is your special talent? Podcasting and hula hooping. Hula hooping? I did not know that you can hula.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Why have I never seen you hula hoop? We've even been to Bonnaroo. Of course, I was. I think we were a little too preoccupied.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was too busy stealing beer, so.

[C]

Right. And then driving my car home.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Remember when I walked into this? For those of you that don't know, have maybe not heard the story, there was a band called.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What was the name of the band?

[C]

Moon Taxi.

[B]

Taxi.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Band called Moon Taxi. Who you may remember. Yeah. Great band. And they were also at Mempho. I didn't have a chance to apologize about the beer.

[C]

They came to.

[B]

They came to Memphis.

[C]

They came to the. To the TCB tent.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's right. They came to the TCB tent.

[C]

I didn't know who they were.

[B]

I had no idea who they were. They were there videotaping, and they were talking to me, and I. And then they walked away, and it was Moon Taxi. So for the second time, I have disrespected Moon Taxi. But Moon Taxi was at Bonnaroo. Chrissy and I were Backstage in the artist area at Bonnaroo, because Jeff was doing some work back there, and I wanted a beer. And the vip, the special vip, VIP beer area had a huge line to it, and it was like, you know, a mile away. It's 900 degrees outside. And so Jeff says, oh, don't worry about it. Head into that. Head that trailer right there, and tell them you're with Jeff. You know, Jeff Bransford.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know that's Moon Taxi. He says, that's Moon Taxi. So I thought Jeff said, tell him you're with Moon Taxi. Jeff from Moon Taxi. So I walk into the place with a swagger. It's a guy at the front door. There's a huge cooler, right? I can see it in the middle of this trailer, like this, you know, trailer where the artists are hanging out. Moon Taxi is hanging out. So there's a guy at the door, and he's just kind of standing there with a beer. And I could say, hey, what's up, man? He goes, hey, what's going on with you? And I'm like, nothing. I'm with Jeff from Moon Taxi. He told me I'd come grab a few beers. And he's like, jeff from Moon Taxi? And I'm like, jeff from Moon Taxi.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

You heard me correctly. Thanks, buddy.

[B]

Thanks, buddy. Thanks for checking in, but I already got my credentials. I don't think. These aren't the droids you're looking for. That's using the force. And so he says, okay, sure. And he let me go in and grab a couple of beers, and on the way out, and he goes, you said you were with Jeff. And I go, jeff from Moon Taxi? That's right. Thanks for the beers. I'll be back later for more. And he just kind of stared at me. Little did I know that the guy standing at the door was in the band Moon Taxi. And there's no Jeff in Moon Taxi. He just probably was like, this guy's got balls. Let's see how this plays out.

[C]

Confidently and act like you know what you're doing.

[B]

Act like you know what you're doing. That's the number one rule when you. If you have to sneak backstage somewhere, pretend you know what you're doing. Just don't look anybody in the eyes. Scared. Like, where am I supposed to go? Did you get busted? Okay, what's the main thing I do in my free time Podcast? You like to work out. You like to walk the belt line? You like to read. I know this.

[C]

I Do. Yes, all of those things.

[B]

What is the main thing I don't like about myself? Hmm, that's interesting. What is the main thing that you don't like about yourself? I am going to say, actually, I don't know. I don't know what you're super insecure about or I don't want to share it here on air. How's that? We'll move on to the next one.

[C]

I practice self love.

[B]

You do practice self love.

[C]

But, you know, you could turn it into one of those interview questions, you know, like, what's the worst thing about you? I'm just too organized. I'm too on time. I'm too punctual.

[B]

I am too sexy. Which football team have I supported since I was young? The Tennessee Volunteers.

[C]

That's right. That's where I went to school.

[B]

There you go. Who is my celebrity crush? Huh? Who is your celebrity? I don't even think you know that.

[C]

Jeff from Moon Taxi.

[B]

From Moon Taxi is super sexy. Here he is. What's your greatest fear? I think your greatest fear is that this podcast doesn't work out. You have to go back and get a job.

[C]

That is true. That is one. And then I also have a fear, you know this. Of anything flying off the back of a truck.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah. On the highway.

[B]

Who is your worst enemy? Who is your worst enemy? I don't know. What is this? A super. Who is your worst enemy? What a childish question. That's for today. Yeah. Octo, Spider, whatever his name is. You know, I can think of a few people you probably dislike, but I wouldn't say they're your enemy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Now I'm going to go straight to round four. You ready?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Trying to help me.

[B]

Stupid. That was awesome. I love our. I love how our machine just randomly generates noise. It does. Tea or coffee? I think you would rather drink coffee than tea. Chocolate or ice cream? I think you would go chocolate. Day or night? Night. Going out. Staying in. You're going out and a. Staying.

[C]

I am both. Yeah.

[B]

There you go. You would enjoy either of them. Summer or winter? Summer for sure. Savory or sweet? I'm gonna say savory.

[C]

Yes, you are correct.

[B]

Pizza or burgers? I think you'd probably enjoy a burger more than you would pizza.

[C]

I like both.

[B]

You like both. Okay. Music or movies? Music for sure. Mountains or beach? I think you'd rather be at the beach any day of the week.

[C]

I like the mountains a lot.

[B]

Yeah, I know, but. But I'm headed choice.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Early bird or Night owl, early bird. Early for Chrissy is 1138. So there you go.

[C]

Yes. It's my body's natural rhythm.

[B]

It is your body's natural rhythm. You said the rhythm of the night.

[C]

Stay up a little later. Get up a little later.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The prizes don't stop there. The surprises don't stop there.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because I love you. I love you, and I know what kind of person you are and I know the things that you like and the things that you may not like. I think for the most part. Right. I don't know you like. Jeff does. Of course. He's your partner. He's going to know you best. But I know that you like what some of our audience members super dislike. And that is why today I present to you a special treat. Maybe a little bit too soon, but because it's your birthday, I'm going to break it out. A Frankie B. Travel review video. Are you ready for this?

[C]

I mean, I just can't have enough.

[B]

La Concha Renaissance Marriott San Juan, Puerto Rico.

[C]

His new job now is he's a travel review job.

[B]

He's a travel agent. That's right. He is a travel agent. Are you ready for this?

[C]

Okay. This is as good as Puerto Rico.

[B]

Puerto Rico. This is as good as it gets, my friend.

[C]

Okay. Thank you for this present.

[B]

You're welcome.

[D]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCV. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[A]

Incredible, isn't it? It is. I'm in beautiful, sunny San Juan, Puerto Rico. And always when I go on vacation, I always like to give my review of the whole.

[C]

Okay, he is sunned deeply.

[B]

Okay, you have got to go to YouTube.com the commercial break. If there is anything that I have ever told you, if there's any reason. If you've been waiting to go to YouTube.com thecommercialbreak for any reason, it's not just so I can get the. Subscribe. Please subscribe. It's because I want you to see Frankie B. In this travel video. He is literally a leather tomato.

[C]

I know. It's like a mix between burned and tan.

[B]

I know. The best thing about. The best thing about Puerto Rico is the sun. And I have been standing directly on it.

[C]

He's flying close to the sun.

[B]

That's right. They have a tanning bed downstairs. What I do is I go out for 12, 14 hours a day and then I come back in. I use the tanning bed to get

[C]

that dill it in.

[B]

That's right. You want to get. It's like a wax coating. This is how I'm going to look when I'm fifth date or whatever.

[C]

Those glasses are awesome, too.

[B]

He looks good, man.

[C]

He does.

[B]

However old.

[C]

He's all tatted up.

[B]

He looks good. Yeah, he's tatted up. I think he's mafia. I think we're gonna get murdered one day. I'm gonna walk out the door and someone's gonna be like, frankie, Bree says hello. Someone's gonna take a baseball bat to the back of my head. Thanks for Lancia.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Break my leg. That one's for Salon Su.

[C]

Yes, I can see a hit on you from Frankie.

[B]

I was talking to a fan of ours and a friend of ours, Allison, and her husband. We had dinner the other night and they were laughing so hard about the salon.

[C]

Look, if you're looking to get into a franchise that can't lose, just Google.

[B]

I'll put a link to it in the video.

[C]

Mr. Franchise. Frankie.

[B]

Frankie. This is Frankie. Hey, this is Mr. Franchise. You're an asshole. Sure. Don't worry about all the big money and advertisement over here at Mr. Franchise. Go with Salon Suisse. You'll have Frankie's face posted on the back of a bus running down the. Running down the highway. Because that sells. Franchise.

[C]

Right? And to go into a remote location on a farm.

[B]

Yeah, Frankie, I like your strategy. Go where no one is. You won't have any competition or customers. Frankie,

[A]

tell in the facilities that I'm at. That way, if you're interested in going on a trip and you find this video useful or helpful. You know what? Then I did my job. My name is Frank Bernardo. Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedule in watching this video.

[B]

If you do find it. Anybody that has a busy schedule is not watching this video. It's 18 minutes long of Frankie walking through the resort making other people uncomfortable.

[C]

He loves being on camera.

[B]

And I gotta give it. I just, you know, I gotta say, follow your heart. When we first started the whole Frankie B. Thing, right? Which I know it. You, man, you gotta love Frankie B. If you're a tcb or you gotta love Frankie B. Because it's just such great. It's not meant to be funny, but it is funny. And Frankie is unlikable, yet extremely likable. And you want to hate him, but you end up loving him. He's like a. He's like a good character in a murder mystery. It's like you're rooting for the. You're rooting for the away team, basically. Frankie. I've come to love Frankie.

[C]

I feel like I know him.

[B]

Yeah. But I don't. I don't. I don't want to meet him because I know when I meet him, then it's going to be all, yeah. Then he's going to go, let's do videos together. And I'm going to be like. Like, I got an idea. Let's do a whole episode of TCB with me on the phone. And I'm gonna be like, no, that's not that funny. You just keep doing you, and then I'll. Yeah, you. We can do a whole show about you after you do your own video.

[C]

Yes, this video.

[A]

Informational educational. Subscribe to this channel so you don't miss my upcoming videos. Rocket.

[B]

Another masterpiece of editing. He's like a George Lucas in the editing room.

[C]

So it just. Just to describe how that just happened, he went from walking on the beach, shirtless, sunglasses, hair slicked back to all of a sudden, two seconds later, he's taking off in a car, but his hair is dry, he's got a shirt on.

[B]

It's great editing. No segue, no noise, no nothing. Yeah. If you like this video, subscribe. Oh, sorry.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

yeah, he's got a new girl there. Look at that. Wow.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Fitness. Oh, yeah, get it, Frankie. That looks like me at the gym. Whoa, whoa. Who's that?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

There's a beautiful girl walking. There's some grooming. There's him parachuting. That's a nice looking suit, Frankie.

[A]

So the. The hotel itself. I'm gonna get out of the sun so I could scan you. Hold on.

[B]

The.

[A]

The hotel. Okay, now look.

[C]

So it's just a normal hotel.

[B]

Frankie goes the hotel. Let me take a look. He's on the beach, by the way, in case you can't hear the obnoxious waves that are in the background. But he says, let's take a look at the hotel. And he scans the phone. It literally looks like a Motel 6. It's like. It's white, but it's not quite white from years of wear and tear. Yeah. Here's the hotel. It's beautiful. Is it, Frankie?

[A]

The outside of the hotel is. It is. It is dated.

[B]

Okay, There you go. At least you recognize it. But then again, you know, who in this video is not dated,

[A]

but the inside is very, very, very, very beautiful? The beach, okay. The beach is absolutely incredible. Got the palms, we have several pools. And as we get more into this video, I'm going to show you more of the facility.

[B]

He's setting you up for a long video. As we get more into this video, I'm going to show you more about this. I'm going to describe more of what's on the beach that you can see. Yeah, the beach, as you can see, it's beautiful. There are some palm trees. Here's some sand. There are a couple beach chairs. Do you see that water down there? That's the ocean. Let's go take a look at the ocean. I'm going to show you what a wave is. Come on down here. Thanks for tuning in.

[C]

He's very informative.

[B]

As we get more into this video, I'm going to show you more waves. I'll be. I'll be right back. Watch this. He's just. Look at. Everybody around him are like, yeah, by the way, this is. You know. And listen, not knocking it. I can't say the Ritz Carlton either, but this is no Ritz Carlton. It's not like, you know, he's doing a review of a hotel that. But it's a hotel, right?

[C]

Yeah, it's an older hotel.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

The one thing I gotta. I gotta show you this. You know, if you guys like, guys, women, whoever, watch this. If you guys like waves. Oh, my God.

[B]

You guys like waves. You're gonna love the ocean.

[C]

I highly recommend the ocean.

[B]

If you're into waves, it's called the ocean. Let me show you over here.

[C]

Come with me.

[B]

Come with me. Oh, my God. He's literally reviewing the ocean. I love you, Frankie. I love you.

[A]

This place will destroy you. I mean, they are absolutely killer. I mean, I. I've. I've been tumbling underwater. I'm actually gonna kill myself here. Okay, look at.

[C]

Meanwhile, there's like, the tiniest bit of white, but there's an older gentleman standing up.

[B]

So Frankie pans the camera to show you this increase these tsunami waves that are coming.

[C]

He's been tumbling around.

[B]

I tumble for you. I tumble for you. I tumble for you. So he pans over and it's like a kid's wave pool.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[B]

This totally old man is 4 foot 3 and it's up to his knees. These waves will destroy you.

[A]

Look at this. You know, Ashley is hit or miss every time. You want to show the waves.

[B]

Well, actually, it looks a lot bigger when you're under them. It looks a lot bigger when you're drowning. It looks a lot bigger when the lifeguard's saving you. I could just see a lifeguard. Oh, God damn it. We got to get these guys out of the water again. He's tumbling. Look at him.

[A]

First one's not going to come, but it's nuts. And what they do is they got signs all over this beach of the rip currents because they said they're vicious. They take you out to this.

[B]

I bet that's what the sign says.

[C]

Vicious.

[B]

Vicious.

[C]

Vicious waves

[B]

or whatever. Oh, my God. The rip current took me away.

[A]

Rocks right over here. Like, if you're right here, the rip current will take you all the way and throw you into the rocks and you can get in trouble. And trust me, in this water.

[C]

Throw you into the rocks, you'll be in trouble.

[B]

Pick you up, throw you into the way. Look at it. What is that? Six, seven inches? What's up to your knees? I suggest you know how to swim before you go in the ocean. More about that later. Yes, it is.

[A]

It is rough. Let me show you the hotel zone that we're in.

[B]

Okay. Very, very beautiful.

[A]

This is my first time in San Juan. I've always gone to Mexico, and they

[C]

won't let me back in now. They won't let me go into Mexico.

[B]

And. Dude, an unfortunate incident.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm not allowed back.

[B]

I'm not allowed back there for 10 to 20 years. I'm not sure.

[C]

I switched to Puerto Rico.

[B]

My lawyer's taking care of it and suggested this place.

[A]

And I'm. I am so glad that we came here. San Juan is absolutely stunning. And again later, I'm going to show you the old San Juan, okay? The old downtown. It is incredible.

[B]

The streets, what words you're using. Amazing. Vicious. Incredible. Tumble.

[C]

Destroy.

[B]

Destroy you. Come on, Frankie.

[A]

The restaurants, the people, the shopping is such an experience.

[C]

So I would have to restrain Psyche. Having a great time, people.

[B]

The pharmacies. He does seem like he's having a good time. I. I wonder if Salon Sweets really provides him this kind of lifestyle.

[C]

I mean, it's like.

[B]

I'm being serious. Like, he seems to be on vacation a lot. There's a lot of vacation videos. Yeah, and he seems to be making a lot of videos. I mean, Chrissy and I make a lot of videos, but we also dedicated immense amount of time to this, to our spouse's chagrin.

[C]

This, the Salon Suite.

[B]

You think the Salon Suites is doing this?

[C]

No, no, I can't.

[B]

I can't imagine either. Yeah, he probably got, like. He probably did one really good real estate deal back in 1989, and it set him up for life. Right.

[C]

Good for him.

[B]

Or he's a barber on the side. Highly recommend.

[A]

If anyone's looking to come to San Juan. Oh, my God. You'll absolutely love it. We're feels.

[B]

Well, if you're looking to come to San Juan, you probably already understand that you're going to like it. I mean, if anybody's got a trip planned to San Juan, if you're on the fence, I suggest you come to San Juan. Yeah, if you're on the fence, come. That could have been the end of the video right there. But no, wait, there's more.

[A]

All right, I'm gonna head back to my chair. I'm gonna have a cocktail, and then we're going to continue this video.

[C]

Oh,

[B]

there is a woman that is passed out cold on the beach. She's pasty, too. She's gonna get a nice sunburn. Yeah, she better.

[C]

You better cover up.

[B]

She didn't even finish her margarita. You can see that right there. I'm gonna head back to my chair. I'm gonna make some more people uncomfortable. I'm going to get some more sun. I don't know if you noticed, but I just got a good base coat here. This maroon is my base coat. I'm going for. I'm going for fire engine oil. That's right. He needs Crisco. This is what I would suggest you use.

[A]

Who's this lovely lady over here?

[B]

Oh, Frankie's got a girl.

[A]

Now I'm gonna take you on a quick tour.

[B]

She's like, leave me out of your. She's like, leave me out of your. Frankie. She's the one who told him to take those videos out. Guaranteed. She watched him and she was like, yeah, yeah, you know, you're cute, and I think we get along well together, but that YouTube channel, I mean, for 30 people, really? Can we take those down? Little do they know

[A]

of the pool area. And this hotel has several pools which are all unique in their own way.

[B]

Now this particular one's round shaped and one's oval.

[C]

And there's a kidney.

[B]

More about that later. We get it. There's a pool.

[C]

Frankie, those glasses, I don't like it.

[A]

Because you could look at the time of day, it's like one o', clock, not even one o' clock clock, and it's already in shade. See, it's a little.

[C]

I need full sun.

[B]

I need. If the sun comes up at 8:15, I'm here at 7:45. If it goes down at 7:45, I'm here till 8:15. I want to make sure I get every last. Ray, look how small that pool is. I know, that's crazy for like a big resort.

[C]

Yeah, it had a bunch more chairs than it does.

[B]

My pool is bigger than that. Plus it has no sun. He's right about that. It doesn't have any sun.

[C]

It does not.

[A]

It's a little infinity pool which. Which is cool. As you can see. You know, you can go to the edge and, you know, look at the water and everything.

[B]

You can go to the edge and look at the back of some other beach chairs.

[C]

Yeah, the infinity pool goes into the beach.

[B]

Yeah, the infinity pool. Higher. Yeah, you should. That's the whole point. It's like you looking. It's like you're in the ocean looking out into the ocean. Right, Right. Not you're in a kid's Walmart play pool looking into the back of someone's beach chair. It's so romantic.

[C]

You could go to the edge.

[B]

You can go right to the edge. It's like the edge of the world.

[C]

Just going into the beach.

[B]

It's like the edge of the world. And then there's a beach chair. Well, you gotta get over that beach chair to get to the end of the world. But you can use your imagination like I do. I'm Frankie B.

[A]

But as you can see, you're in shade. So do I like this pool? Absolutely not. So let's roll,

[C]

man.

[B]

I give this pool 1 out of 10.

[C]

Frankie, did we have to even show that pool?

[B]

Well, I needed to show you the good before I bad. Before I show you the good. Let me tell you something. This gets one out of ten bees.

[C]

Oh, the bees.

[B]

One out of ten sweees. Let me show you the good. More on that later.

[C]

More on that later. Yep.

[A]

Off to the second level.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And then we could.

[B]

It's called a floor. We're gonna go to the second Level, that's where you beat Tetris. That's where Zelda is.

[A]

Show you the rest of the pool. I got one little bar. This is kind of an interesting area. I don't like it. Okay.

[B]

I don't like Frankie. That's where they take the tr.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What are you doing? This kind of an interesting area smells a little funky. There's all these plastic bags.

[C]

I don't like it.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like it. But I'm going to come here later cuz it gets sun. I like the trash can. That's where you get all the sun.

[C]

You can reflect.

[B]

That's right. The sun's looking back at me going, hey, I see you.

[A]

This, it's just a bunch of sand. I think it's, you know, obviously from his.

[B]

It's a trash can. It's a trash area. It's an area. It's state. It's an area to stay. Frankie, you gotta go to YouTube.com. you gotta see this. Frankie is literally looking at an area where they keep the beach chairs. And he's like, I don't know about this area. It's suspects.

[C]

There's sand.

[B]

There's sand and beach chairs piled up. I don't know what they call this. They call it. This is. I think this is the second pool. Yeah, look. This is infinity sand. Oh, freaky stuff.

[A]

There we go. Yeah.

[B]

Well, we have a power pad.

[A]

That's a little, little tiny bar, you know, that you can walk up and get served yourself.

[B]

You can serve yourself. I think. I don't think you said that correctly.

[A]

Make sure I'm going the right way here. I don't know if I can get up to the. No, I'm an idiot.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

I've only been here.

[B]

We agree. Final ruling.

[C]

I didn't do a test run.

[B]

Damn it. I had it all sketched out of my hand. I'm gonna go up here. More on that later.

[C]

I think I can get up here.

[B]

No, no. Hey, Frankie, why don't you just edit it? Just edit the video

[A]

for a day. Like I should know this place. Let's go up to the. To the upper level and I can show you the pools that are actually, actually in the sun. Here's the gym. Very, very cool gym. Check it out. In fact, I'm going to go up there right now. As you look at the treadmills are all across the window here.

[C]

Like, you can't see anything.

[B]

You can't see anything. What are you showing us? It's your reflection. First of all. Second of all, treadmills along the window like every other gym in America. I mean, come on, Frankie. He's very cool. Unique design. The salon suites. We like to put the hairdressing places located where no windows are. We have customers that like to run away, jump out of the window, look at my body, I'm out of here.

[A]

So when you're obviously in the gym this morning and when you're running, obviously,

[B]

I don't. It goes unsaid. But let me say it again, obviously, okay.

[A]

You are looking out at the ocean. It's. It's well thought out, per se. And here's the gym real quick. I think I actually did a video on the gym. And that. That's going to be coming out either before or after this video. Here's the gym real quick.

[C]

You don't say.

[B]

You don't say, Frankie. Either before or after this video, something's gonna happen. And it either happened before or after this moment right now. I'm just gonna let you know that that don't get surprised when I drop them. When I drop this video. When I drop the gym video. Before this video. Time travel. I did a video on the gym. What do you have to do a video on the gym, by the way, there's like 12 of these. He does a video on the gym. Everywhere he goes, he's like, let me tell you about the bad things about this gym. And it's like, it's a hotel gym.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you expect? It's not Gold's Gym in la. It's a Venice Beach. Yeah, It's La Concha, San Juan, Puerto Rico. It's the Holiday Inn Express in Puerto Rico. It's well thought out, though. They put the treadmills right near the windows. Well thought out. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'.

[A]

Clock.

[D]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak English? Boundlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials, hecommercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok, and for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video. YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, actually needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[A]

Okay. Beautiful views. Who wouldn't want to work out? You know when you can exercise and just look what's waiting for you after your exercise. And my horse after a good breakfast. Okay, now we're going to come into the pool area.

[B]

Oo, that wind. Jeez Louise, that's obnoxious.

[A]

Gorgeous, isn't it? The one thing about this hotel I

[B]

don't even see a pool is the

[A]

hotels are old, all right? But they grow on you real quick

[C]

because they're like an old, old sweater.

[B]

Like an old sweater. They cry you real quick. 99 a night. Look at the guy in the back. He's like, who's this douche? I saw him at the gym this morning. He was making a video at the gym this morning. I think he's following me. What you can't see is I paused it. And there's a guy behind him, like, looking at him, like, giving him, like, the stink eye. Of course, because Frankie's running around making everybody feel weird.

[A]

Oh, character. This. This hotel, the theme here. They got a lot of potted plants everywhere. Tons. Then we got. So we got the one thing here.

[C]

Potted plants.

[B]

The theme here, potted plants. Welcome to the La Concha, sir. Would you like a potted plant? They actually meet you.

[C]

Everything is here.

[B]

Potted plants, sir.

[C]

As we. We're known for them.

[B]

Listen, if you see a palm in the corner that's unpotted, you let us know. We are known for our potted plants.

[C]

Yeah, Came for the potted plants.

[B]

I came for the. They told me I had to look at the potted plants. Oh, my God. I notice how Frankie, like, there's girls in bikinis. I notice how, frankly, like, kind of like, turned the camera, too.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's got to get that. He's got to get that in there.

[A]

And then there's another one up over here. I'm going to run up here real quick.

[C]

Is he. Is he showing a pot of plants?

[B]

Showing us potted plants.

[A]

Pool where you could sit on the ledge. Let me show you. Hold on. See?

[C]

What is it? He fell.

[B]

Whoops. Frankie, that's not an infinity pool. This is the pool of the waterfall. What are you talking about?

[C]

And I don't even see the many potted plants.

[B]

Yeah, I know. He said you can sit on the ledge. Exciting. Sign me up. Potted plants and a ledge I can sit on. I've been looking for a ledge I can sit on.

[C]

Pull the ledge.

[B]

That's right. I don't normally. I don't normally get a ledge to sit on, but when I do, I've stayed at a holiday in La Conch, known for our potted plans. I think Hilton should hire this guy immediately. Just saying.

[A]

Super interesting thing about this hotel which. Which makes this so different is normally when I go to Mexico, the hotels are just the hotel and then it's a hotel, but this is. Right.

[C]

Ah, hotels are.

[B]

Yeah. That was like an equation algebra problem I had to do that.

[C]

Makes you think.

[B]

You know, the thing about the hotels when I go to the hotel is the hotel is just a hotel that has a hotel inside of it. But. But when I come here, it's a hotel outside of the hotel too. You can see it from both outside and inside. That's what I've noticed. Oh, and the potted plants. Expect more on that later.

[A]

The middle of a city, which is really cool. And I don't know if I can catch it on camera.

[B]

You've never been to a hotel in the middle of a city. The thing that makes this hotel very unique, it's in the middle of a city. Normally when I build my salon suites, I build them out in the middle of nowhere. I also visit hotels isolated. Isolated. The hotel is just a hotel. That's what it is, a hotel. But here, here, it's a city inside of a hotel, or it's a hotel inside of a city. Either way you look at it, it's pretty cool design. Well planned out, well thought out. I wanna.

[A]

Here, maybe I can hold on. You see?

[C]

Oh, we're holding.

[B]

Yeah, we're along for the ride. Renki.

[A]

Buildings around here, actually, when you're up in the room and you're looking across, you're just right in the middle of the city. And then all of a sudden, sudden, you know, you're at the beach, see? Great vibe, Great vibe.

[B]

A lot of very tropical great vibes. There's like four people hanging out at a patio table.

[C]

I know. It's like a family.

[B]

Great vibes. I don't know if you notice here someone's having a club sandwich. It's the kind of vibes I'm into.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

Normally, they're blowing coke down here, but right now, it's club sandwich time. So if you're looking for that sleepy. It's a hotel in a city, but it might have a beach behind it kind of thing with potted plants.

[C]

This is.

[B]

This is your thing. More on that later.

[A]

Super tropical. These are. These are interesting over here. These little. Those are like little bungalows. I'm not real sure I would. Wouldn't like that, because, first of all, it's only a pool view, and it's not. It's not an ocean view. But here you can see the town a little bit more.

[B]

Some of the buildings that go up, two buildings. It's not a town. And by the way, this is like Naples, Florida, Panama. I mean, Miami. Anywhere you go, it's the same.

[C]

Seems pretty standard.

[B]

Miami's a huge city. Then it's. You go to south beach, and all of a sudden there's a beach.

[A]

Beach.

[B]

That's how it works, Frankie. People build around beaches.

[A]

And here's the back half of the hotel. Much nicer. Can I say, not bad. And then look through the.

[B]

Through the.

[A]

Open up over here. Okay? You're looking right at. Right at the ocean. And they got, again, nice food area right out here. The service, they don't have enough people. I understand with COVID and everything. And another thing. Another thing with COVID is they're very, very strict with it. Okay? Everybody is asking for your vaccination card, you know, right when you come to the hotel, and they're going to give you this little bracelet over here. That way you don't have to pull your vaccination card. Out.

[C]

Out of your ass.

[B]

Out of my ass. I bought mine on the Internet, so, you know, I was prepared

[A]

single time. But every restaurant you go, if you come out here, get ready to pull out your vaccination card. It is a pain in the butt. I'm gonna tell you something right now. So here's where we hang out right before me and my girlfriend, right before

[B]

we go to the gym. Wait, Is it a pain in the butt to pull your vaccination card out once and they give you a bracelet? Yeah. Every hotel I go into this one. Mainly, they asked me to pull out my vaccination card card. They gave me this. It is a pain in the ass. But showing him your wristband everywhere you go, you know what I'm saying? Just be prepared. That's all I got to say. Also be prepared that you're in a city. In a hotel that's not just a hotel that has a beach in the back of it. Here's the back half of the hotel. More on that later. Oh, look, another potted plants. I love it. The theme of this hotel is potted plants. I can see these girls dressed up with, like, coconuts on their boobs and, like, a pot. There's a little, like, plant coming out of their head. Yeah. Welcome to La Concha Potted planta planted le pate.

[A]

We like to come out here and have a cup of coffee because the gym is right here. Have a cup of coffee, talk very tranquil. Because this is your

[C]

man.

[B]

Normally with a one day, we've been here, I'd like to come out here, drink a cup of coffee. I talk to the woman. I let her have three minutes of my time. Yeah, I can see the gym. I ignore her while I'm looking at the gym myself in the mirror. And then I go off and do my videos for three hours. Yeah. We meet at night for dinner. She gives me a blowjob. We call it a day. I go do more videos of potted plants.

[C]

She gets a free vacation.

[B]

She gets a free vacation. It's a deal. Win, win for everybody. She paid.

[A]

Deal. Okay. You want it?

[B]

That's getting cut up. That is getting cut up. What is that? That's minute nine, 26. Hold on one second. I got to make a note of that. Who wouldn't want it?

[C]

It's perfect.

[B]

You're my favorite.

[A]

The outside facilities are really, really nice. Like I said, the beach is really, really nice. They bring your chairs out for you, your umbrella. Like I said, it's. I.

[B]

That's it. That's it. They put these chairs out there for you every morning. It's amazing. They're just there in the morning. Same place they were yesterday. They get it right every time. By the way, which beach hotel have you been to where they don't put the chairs and table tables out for you? It's weird.

[A]

I was skeptical coming here, all right? But I'm telling you right now, I love, love it. And I'm definitely not looking forward anytime soon to going back totally, totally enjoying my flights.

[B]

At 4:15, I was skeptical, I was a skeptic of whether or not this hotel was going to live up to my expectations. They said, expect a lot of potted plants.

[C]

Way more potted plants.

[B]

Way more potted plants than I ever imagined. It's amazing. Look, there's another one.

[A]

Stay out here. So, yeah, I would totally, totally recommend this.

[B]

So soon.

[A]

I'M gonna get you into the lobby, but I'm not going there now.

[B]

No way.

[A]

You know why? It's too freaking nice out. I need to get back to the beach, have my cocktail, and, you know, soak up some more sun, and I'll catch you on a little bit. Now,

[B]

the last thing you need is more sun, first of all. Frankie. Yeah, And I love the quick edit. Right to the room. Hey, back. Yeah, I had my cocktail. Look at me. I'm twice as tan as I was before. Not possible. Frankie, time to look at the room.

[A]

Actually, you come up the elevator, and then it's a. It's an outdoor catwalk up over here. And here's the view just outside the room. Really, really nice. So on one side of the room, you're gonna have the ocean view, and on this side of the room, you got the pool view. So this is. It's a very, very nice room.

[B]

It's a beautiful view. Yeah. Cool, man. It's a beautiful view, but cool, man. There's 3, 000 hotels within a square mile. They probably have the same view. Dude. I mean, yeah. This is really, quite frankly, a ridiculous review he has. He has told us nothing that we need to know.

[C]

No.

[B]

What time the lunch is, what kind of food, serving, you know. Show me how they turned out.

[C]

Sand.

[B]

Yeah. They've got sand, waves that'll destroy you, potted plants, and a ledge you can sit on, all in a hotel inside of a city. It's amazing.

[A]

Like I was talking about earlier in the video, you see the city life, see all the buildings that you're around, okay? Then you pop right into your hotel, and you're right on the beach. So it's. It's a very interesting comment.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Very interesting.

[B]

All right. All right, Frankie, get to the room.

[C]

Let's see. Let's stop it. Let's see the room.

[A]

I like the room. I. I really do. Let me get some results.

[B]

I like the room. I really do. We've been getting friendly. Sometimes when my woman is talking to me, I say, hey, room. Do you hear that, too? Is she as obnoxious to you as she is to me? You want to go work out? No, you gotta stay here. Oh, come on, room.

[A]

It's low. It doesn't matter anyway.

[B]

Entranceway, he said, hello.

[C]

It doesn't matter.

[B]

Someone's in here to murder me. Doesn't matter. More on that later.

[A]

All right, so now as you're walking, there's our beautiful view of the ocean. Let me get these blinds opened up a little Bit better. The room.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what to say about the room. The room is the room. Yeah. I stay.

[C]

It does have an ocean view. That's good. Many other hotels have that as well.

[B]

Many other hotels.

[C]

Millions.

[B]

Yeah. Probably many. Just in that square mile. He's sitting in there. This is. There is nothing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Super fantastic about this hotel. Now, I'm not. I'm not saying you have to do a review of the Ritz every time. There's lots of hotel reviews that I've seen of hotels that are not the Ritz. Right. That's where I.

[C]

Plenty. Yeah.

[B]

This is a room that I stay in. But when I watch a hotel review.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to see something luxurious and opulent. Something I can never achieve or hope

[C]

that I can achieve someday or some concrete information.

[B]

Yeah. Or something that I can actually use. Not just. Here's a hotel. Let me get these blinds open for you. Yeah. Look at this. Four foot by four foot window. Beautiful.

[A]

The room is lived.

[B]

All included. The room is lived in.

[A]

Okay. I didn't clean up anything because this is our last day here. Obviously, I should have maybe filmed this video before we moved in and unpacked everything. Everything. But you know what this is? This is real life. This is how you live in a hotel, and this is how we live in a hotel.

[B]

Don't make assumptions, Frankie.

[C]

He's just talking.

[B]

He just can't stop. He can't get enough of himself.

[C]

This is how we live in a hotel.

[B]

You live in a hotel.

[C]

Hello, Real life room.

[B]

Is that you room? Are you there? Oh, look, a potted plant.

[A]

All right, obviously, our bed. We have our little closet. A safe. Okay? Bathrobes, all that. All that fun stuff. Iron bar.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Nothing crazy, you know, Nothing. Nothing ridiculous Here.

[B]

He's drinking cereals. Oh, my God. Oh, that's like charcoal, isn't it? Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, it's a good vodka.

[B]

Okay, well, listen, regardless. He's showing you a mini bar that you see in a. You know, like an embassy suite.

[C]

This is a coffee maker.

[B]

Coffee maker. Two bottles of water. Nothing in the refrigerator. And a bottle of Tito's sitting there showing you the world's smallest closet. Show us the air conditioner, Frankie. Please show us the air conditioner. Please give me something strong to go out with. Show me the air conditioner.

[A]

The refrigerator, they don't stock it with anything. I think they give you just a couple of complimentary waters. And you know, our luggage area.

[B]

It's a suitcase. Our luggage area. Here's our luggage area. Oh, My God, look, there's a TV. Hi, TV.

[A]

You know, Yahoo. Chair area.

[B]

That's 100. It's 100 square foot.

[C]

It's got its own area.

[B]

Yeah, it's got its own area. I could see Frankie at night, like, drawing a map. Tomorrow when I talk about it, remember to mention the chair area. That's important information. There's a chair area

[C]

where the chair goes.

[B]

Do I have the map to get from the beach to the second level? I just can't remember all this. Oh, my God. Cherry area. Chair area. It's not a chair area. It's just a chair.

[C]

No, it's just a chair that's pushed up underneath the desk.

[B]

That's a chair area.

[A]

Don't have.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

A lot of. In this room. It's. It's dresser space and.

[B]

Or any space. It's 100 square foot. Room. Room. This is built in the 60s, dude.

[A]

Guess who inherited the dresser right when we walked in. Obviously my girlfriend. I guess she can have some priority, right? Okay, now

[B]

I guess she's got to sleep with me. I guess I'll give her something.

[C]

Give her a drawer.

[B]

Oh, my God, Frankie.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, there's. There's only so much. There's only so much. By the way, we're only.

[C]

I'm especially interested in that chair area and the potted plants. Those are unique. Those are unique to hotels.

[B]

Oh, don't forget, it's a. It's a hotel inside of a city. It's kind of like a city inside of a hotel. It's like New New York. New York, New York and Vegas on the inside out. Yeah. Hello, room. Is that you? Who wouldn't want it? More on that later. I can do callbacks all day long on this video. Oh, my God. Frankie. Happy birthday.

[C]

Thank you for that birthday present. That is. It's always a present whenever Frankie's involved.

[B]

It's the gift that keeps on giving. Yes, Frankie B. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Go to YouTube.com.

[C]

i just thought about something on our upcoming trip, Jeff and I. I don't know if I checked if there was a chair. I. You have got to do an Instagram video included.

[B]

Sir, would you like a chair area for an extra hundred dollars a night? Well, who doesn't want to share?

[C]

Upgrade. Give me the upgrade.

[B]

I need a chair area. Oh, my God. This is so. You got to do a video of your chair.

[C]

I must.

[B]

And your luggage area.

[C]

I must.

[B]

Get the air conditioning while you're at it. YouTube.com the commercial break. Please subscribe like Any videos, comment, you know, we'll return your, we'll return your comments right back at you. What I say at the commercial break on Instagram for content you cannot find anywhere else that Instagram, we put clips up there every single day of the week. We put longer clips on YouTube every single day of the week. And go to tcbpodcast.com you find out more about Chrissy and I. You can leave us a message, you can get your free sticker, you can watch all the video, you can listen to all the audio all from one location. TCBpodcast.com Please take a moment to rate and review us on your favorite podcast player. We certainly appreciate all of the reviews. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I wanted to let you know I am going to be doing tcb. We are going to be doing TCB Match Dating Game right here live on air. That's one girl, guy, they, they, them, whoever, and then three of whatever they like. Right? On a Match Game scenario, you don't know who they are, you don't know what they look like. We'll ask a series of questions, we'll see which one you like the better and then we'll set you up on an online date and we'll pay for it. Yeah, Zoom included. Don't even worry about it. No 45 minute limit on your zoom. Only the best for you. Zoom Pro. We are looking for three guys and three girls. Or they, them, she, he, whatever it is, please. 661. Best to yo. That's 661-237-8296. If you're lonely and unlucky in love, let us know because Brian and Chrissy are here to fix y' all up. Uncle Brian and Aunt Chrissy are going to take it all the way home for you. And that's coming up in just the next couple of, in about a month. So you got some time, but not too much. 661 Bestio. Don't worry, we'll vet everybody, make sure they're not a mass murderer before we get them on online.

[C]

Do the best we can.

[B]

We'll do the best we can. Which means I'll Google you. Yes, I'll google you. And if you or anybody with your name has murdered anybody, I'm out.

[C]

You're out?

[B]

Yeah. The lawyers will make you sign a waiver and all that good stuff. Anyway, that's what I wanted to let you know, Chrissy, I don't know how much else we can do today.

[C]

I think that's it.

[B]

I think that's it. It too. Happy birthday, my friend.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

So many more years of friendship and I hope you have a wonderful birthday weekend.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

I love you.

[C]

Excited. I'm gonna do a travel review.

[B]

Please do.

[C]

I love you.

[B]

Best to you.

[C]

Best to you.

[B]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. We always say, we must say and we will say by

[A]

Sam. Sa.