TCB Classic: The Men of a Mountain!

Summary

The Commercial Break: "TCB Classic: The Men of a Mountain!"
Episode Date: May 6, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

Episode Overview

This riotous episode sees Bryan and Krissy—plus their improv sidekicks—dive into one of their all-time favorite "so-bad-it's-good" TV finds: Mountain Monsters, a series where grown men pursue cryptids across rural America with hilarious earnestness. Following a quick batch of banter about show scheduling and listener quirks, the hosts roast a viral furry community rumor—and then launch into a scene-by-scene, joke-soaked commentary on the first episode of Mountain Monsters, especially focusing on the infamous Kentucky Wolfman hunt.

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Main Segments & Timestamps

1. Podcast Catch-Up & Listener Riffs (00:34–04:20)

• Show Release Schedule: Bryan jokingly addresses the podcast's sporadic release, ribbing listeners for demanding new episodes the second one is late.
  • “Well, you assholes couldn’t leave well enough alone. The second you don’t get an episode, you text in and complain...We love you so much…but guess what? Chrissy returns...tomorrow!” - Bryan (00:34)
• Podcast "Family" & Reviews: Playful confusion about their show's name and rival “Commercial Break” podcasts.
• Quick banter about hats, Brian’s “ass,” and black market farts—the show’s signature blend of improv and irreverence.
• International Listener Stats: Apparent popularity in Iran (likely due to VPN usage).

2. Gym Stories: Bob the Overachiever (04:20–09:15)

• Bryan recounts his gym nemesis, “Bob,” who loudly shouts motivational abuse at himself while exercising in dangerous ways.
  • “He was screaming at himself: ‘No one’s gonna tell you how to do it, Bob! You’re the best, Bob!’...Screaming while wrapping the wire around his neck...” - Bryan (04:32)
• Gym staff eventually ask Bob to "tone it down"; the hosts imagine what Bob must be like in bed.
• Lighthearted commentary on gym culture, with Bryan admitting he actually enjoys Bob’s antics: “I wish I had a schedule of when Bob was going to be there; it makes me want to work out harder!” - Bryan (08:00)

3. Viral Furry Community Rumor (09:15–16:54)

• The Litter Box Myth: Discussing a viral claim that schools are installing litter boxes for furry-identifying students, which Bryan and Krissy gleefully dismantle as nonsense.
  • “In all my years of teaching, I’ve never had to address something so ridiculous...There are not litter boxes anywhere in the school for any reason.” - Bryan quoting a principal (10:27)
• Furry Community Responds: Quoting academic and furry voices who clarify most furries are not deviant, just adult make-believers at heart.
  • "At least 250,000 Americans identify as furries...this subset says they’re mostly not in it for sexual reasons—but, you know, there’s always one in the bunch." - Bryan (11:53)
• Hosts’ take: Play make-believe, cosplay, don’t demonize folks for harmless silliness.
  • “If you want to piss in a litter box, who cares? I have tried it. I do have a sexual fetish around litter boxes and I say go for it.” - Bryan (15:24, jokingly)
• Resentment toward politicians/media using this for outrage bait.

4. Mountain Monsters Watch-Along & Breakdown (16:54–61:49)

Introduction to Mountain Monsters (16:54–18:18)

• Bryan & Krissy set up their running gag: grown men seriously pursuing make-believe monsters.
  • “There are full grown men who chase monsters out there, Hoadley. Full grown men who chase make believe monsters!” - Bryan (16:55)

Play-by-Play Commentary: Kentucky Wolfman Episode (21:30–61:49)

• Opening Montage & Show Structure:
  • The cast (Trapper, Buck, Jeff the Researcher, Wild Bill, Huckleberry) are introduced, complete with hyperbolic claims about seven-foot, 500-pound wolves and cryptids named “Barilla” (bear-gorilla).
  • “Seven foot, 500 pounds wolf.” – Buck (22:35)
• Mountain Monster Logic:
  • The team investigates “kill sites,” “territory,” and “evidence” with deliberately obtuse or circular logic, all roasted thoroughly by the hosts.
  • “What’s he researching? Moon pies?” – Bryan, ragging on Jeff the Researcher (27:59)
  • “Bipedal. That means it has sex with both kinds—the Kentucky and the non-Kentucky wolf.” – Bryan (32:12, mocking the pseudo-science jargon)
• Eyewitness Interview:
  • They meet “R,” a bearded marksman who allegedly saw the Wolfman “mid-torso up.” The hosts riff on his appearance, his “chin tail,” and the show’s apparent one-letter names.
  • “I was trying to get a look at a dick but I could only see...just wanted to know what he was working with. He is bipedal, of course.” – Bryan (35:07)
• Field Investigations After Dark:
  • The team explores the same area at night, intent on finding tracks, hair, and “scat,” despite the obvious absurdity.
  • “We’re looking for hair at night...as a researcher, I’ve researched lots of shit in my life...I know about canned farts...” – Bryan (51:01, sarcastically)
• Finding the “Kill Site”:
  • They discover a suspiciously pristine cow skeleton, deemed proof of the Wolfman’s existence.
  • “It’s one cow. It’s a boneyard, not a yard. It’s a skeleton, perfectly preserved as if they bought it off ebay or made it out of plaster.” – Bryan (59:05)
  • “That son of a bitch is a mountain monster...that’s our catchphrase!” – Bryan (61:49)
• Improv Inserts:
  • Throughout, the hosts voice-over dialogue for the “rookie” or the offscreen camera person, poking fun at the show’s production choices and the hapless optimism of the hunters.
  • “Hey Buck, drop your pants and show us your scrundle sack. Now Joe’s gonna come over and tie you to the tree.” – Bryan’s improv as the show's hazing ritual (42:01)
• Meta Commentary:
  • The hosts compare their riffing style to Mystery Science Theater 3000, highlighting how Mountain Monsters is "comedy gold" when not taken seriously.

5. Show Wrap-Up & Community Plugs (61:49–end)

• Reflections on Mountain Monsters:
  • The hosts affirm their love for the show’s unintentional hilarity and promise to continue the watch-along in future episodes.
  • "The first time I saw it, I knew…it is comedy gold. You cannot make this up—I mean, they do make this up…” – Bryan (62:31)
• Encouraging listener engagement:
  • Reminders to visit the website, follow on social media, text in show topic ideas, and check out exclusive YouTube content.
  • “Go to tcbpodcast.com…you can listen to all the audio, watch all the video…Subscribe to the channel, helps us out more than you know!” (63:16 and after)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Show Schedules: “We're blazing up the charts with all this ridiculousness. So somebody likes it. I don't know who those people are, but somebody likes us.” – Bryan (03:47)
• On Furry Discourse: “If you want to be a furry, be a furry. If you want to pee in a litter box, as long as you’re not hurting anybody—who cares?” – Chrissy (09:30)
• On Monster Hunters Pseudo-science: “Bipedal. That means it has sex with...the Kentucky and non-Kentucky wolf.” – Bryan (32:12)
• On Approaching the Field: “I was trying to get a look at a dick, but I could only see...just wanted to know what he was working with.” – Bryan (35:07)
• On the “Kill Site”: “It’s a kill site. It killed any libido my wife has for me. Killed our ratings. Kills my paycheck.” – Bryan (58:19)
• On the Overall Tone: “This is like one big Mountain Monsters improv comedy troupe going on!” – Bryan (42:42)

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Episode Takeaways

• Signature Chaotic Comedy: The hosts delight in embracing both the absurdity of viral rumors (litter box furries) and the wild world of cryptid hunters, giving listeners an unvarnished but affectionate send-up of American weirdness.
• Banter & Satire: Krissy and Bryan’s seasoned comedic chemistry turns every topic—no matter how improbable—into fodder for jokes, improv, and sly pop-culture commentary.
• Celebration of “Unintentional Comedy Gold”: The Mountain Monsters segment is both a roast and a love letter to earnest bad television; the hosts’ MST3K-style play-by-play makes the bizarre show even more fun for listeners.

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Listen if: You enjoy improv-based deep dives into pop culture oddities, viral myths, and unintentional comedic masterpieces, guided by hosts whose only agenda is making you laugh until you cry.

Pro Tip: For visual gags (like the infamous Wolfman drawing), check out the video version or look up the referenced "Black Market Farts" and Mountain Monsters playlists on their YouTube channel.

Transcript

[Tina Connell]

Foreign.

[Brian Greene]

Hey, thanks for calling into the TCB hotline. Leave your message for Brian after the beep. You pompous, stuck up, snot nosed, English giant twerp, scumbag face, dickhead asshole.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

FOREIGN.

[Brian Greene]

Well, I realize that it's been a bit haphazard with the release schedule for the commercial break for the last couple of weeks or maybe even a month, but we told you at the beginning of the year we're gonna take it a little bit easy in 2026 so we don't burn ourselves out. We have the ability to do this well into the future. Well, you assholes couldn't leave well enough alone. And the second you don't get an episode, the, the minute you're supposed to get an episode, you text in and you complain about how I don't have my episode of the commercial break. And we love you so much and you're such a great podcast. And by the way, we're making you money by listening to your advertising and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, okay, I get it, I get it. We're a little behind the eight ball. But guess what? Chrissy returns from her three and a half week vacation tomorrow. And that means tomorrow you get a brand new episode of dcb and far into the future as our schedule normalizes, until we decide to take another vacation and all hell breaks loose. Anyway, you're not assholes. I love you. Thank you for listening to the commercial break. Here's a Mountain Monsters because you asked for it. Love you, bye. The next episode of the commercial Break starts now. Another episode of the Commercial Break. Hello, I'm Brian Green, this is Chrissy Hoadley. And best to you, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the Commercial Break, the only commercial break you'll ever need. I don't know why I started saying that. The only commercial break you'll ever need.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Because there is another commercial break.

[Brian Greene]

There is a commercial break. Yeah, it's not the commercial break, but it's a commercial break. Please don't get us confused, but please leave us your reviews. Either way, we're happy to take them. So don't, you know, don't be scared off, commercial breakers, because the commercial break welcomes you. We welcome you into the commercial break family of shows. To be honest with you, no matter who you leave the review for, it all go. They get credit for it. So don't worry, we all get credit for it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How do you like my hat today?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, your hat Looks styling. Yeah, look like you're going to the jazz festival.

[Tina Connell]

I need a teener, tasty teener.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Brian's ass.

[Tina Connell]

Brian ass.

[Brian Greene]

This shit's bunk, man. I know Brian's ass.

[Tina Connell]

Anyway, this ain't bright ass.

[Brian Greene]

This is some flirty, flowery shit. I want that dirty, stanky, stank Domino's pizza. I want that Domino's pizza. Cocaine.

[Tina Connell]

That's what I need.

[Brian Greene]

That was.

[Tina Connell]

That stuff knocked me on my ass.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, man, I got some real Brian. You got that real Brian ass. You got that fake brown ass. Let me smell. Let me get a little.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let me get a little taste imposter going around.

[Tina Connell]

Oh, man,

[Brian Greene]

it went right to the gut. I felt it. Oh, that's. That's brine ass. That's pure briny. That's uncut, man. There's no flower petal.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If you have it, you're never going back.

[Brian Greene]

Once you go ass, you never go back. You know, you can go to YouTube.com the commercial break and check out the clip called Black Market Farts if you wanna. You know, we are who we are.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Extra time.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, we are who we are. We're blazing up the charts with all this ridiculousness. So somebody likes it. I don't know who those people are, but somebody likes us. It is our Denmark. F. We still have a lot of people that listen to us in Germany. Iran. Iran is a big one. I don't know why people listen to us in Iran. I actually don't think it's Iran. I think that's a. That's a vpn, I think is what that is. Yeah, we've already talked about that. I don't want more podcast talk. It's boring to the audience. They're not podcasters. They're listening to a podcast update on Bob at the gym.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was wondering.

[Brian Greene]

He actually got. I was there yesterday, and he was there yesterday and he was doing the same thing. So those of you who didn't listen to this episode, I went to the gym.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I.

[Brian Greene]

For the first time in a long time, about a week and a half ago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

First time.

[Brian Greene]

Long first time. Long time. And there was a guy that was. Came up on one of the machines next to me. He was screaming at himself. No one's gonna tell you how to do it, Bob. You're the best, Bob. Do it, Bob. You show them, Bob. He was literally screaming while using the machine extremely dangerously. He's like wrapping the wire around his neck and yanking it with his Nacky. This guy was all over the place. So yesterday he was on the Free weight, one of the free weight machines. And he must have put, like seven plates on there. I mean, you know, like £7,000 or whatever it is. And he was trying to do a leg press, like a leg pull up, you know, and he. And obviously he wasn't doing it because it's. He had so much weight on. Now the guy is a bigger guy. He's bigger than.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I hurt himself.

[Brian Greene]

He's gonna fucking get a. You know, like, his anus is gonna come out or something's gonna pop. Yeah, something's gonna pop. Probably gonna be his ego, because Bob ain't as cool as you think he is. But so he was like. He was like, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. That's what he was doing. And it wasn't going anywhere, right. You know, so someone came over to him. One of the guys at the gym came over to him. In between. Yeah, in between sets. No, he said, hey, listen, man, you're gonna hurt yourself. I listen to the whole thing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And the guy wasn't trying to be like. He wasn't being petite about what he was saying. He was saying it out loud. And there was only like 12 of us in the entire gym it evening, so there wasn't a lot of people there. And he said. He said, hey, man, you're gonna hurt yourself. Like, you ought to back off that a little bit, you know, chill. You ain't gonna be able to do seven plates, right? And Bob was like, thanks, man. I got it. I got it. And then he goes back and I'm like, this guy must be a joyride in bed.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, right?

[Brian Greene]

So then someone who works there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You can do it, Bob.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, you can do it, Bob. You got it, Bob. You got it. You two pumped?

[Tina Connell]

You know, two, pump, jump. You got three in you.

[Brian Greene]

Little at a time, little at a time. Think about baseball. Think about baseball. So someone at the gym. Someone working at the gym finally walked over to Bob and said, you gotta, you gotta. You gotta tone it down. Yeah, we've had a few complaints. You got to tone it down. Even though no one was complaining, because I saw all 12 people in the gym, and we were all highly entertained. No one was complaining. We were all having a great time. We were hoping Bob would not get it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Get a giving for the next 30 minutes. Yeah, the next person.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Like, oh, he took it down a not. He didn't. Like, he didn't go. He heard what she said. Like, he wasn't totally crazy, right? But so then he was like, You could still Hear. And I just thought I was having so much fun. I thought I. And again, I don't want to videotape him. I'm certainly not going to put it on the commercial break. I don't, you know, I don't want

[Chrissy Hoadley]

it to be right now.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, listen, Bob just has a weird way of working out. He. I don't know how he got all those muscles when he's doing exercises he clearly can't do. But then. So after that, then he went to the dumbbells and he picked up like two 25ers.

[Tina Connell]

Which is.

[Brian Greene]

Which is heavy. Yeah, 25. You know, pound. Dumbbells are not heavy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

And he was doing like this whole number where he brings it up to his, like. Right. You know, doing a dance kind of. Yeah, the hammer curl, you know. And he was. And then he was sidestepping a bit. Like he was dancing and he was like. To the music. To the beat of the music. Which was. Have the most ridiculous music on. At the gym yesterday, it was like Christian rock or something, you know. Ah, praise the. And I was like, God damn, turn this off. And I don't have a great book on tape right now. So I was just listening to Bob do the workout. Christian rock. Anyway, Bob's still alive. He's still there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's good to know.

[Brian Greene]

He's been asked to tone it down. And he took it. He took it half to heart. You know, he's. There's still a Bob in there that needs to express how he feels. And so I look forward. I actually wish I had a schedule of when Bob was going to be there because it makes me work out a little bit harder because I'm having so much fun. I'm like, well, I'll get an extra rep in. Why not? I'll use this machine. Staring at Bob. And then I like, my eyes are constantly darting like they are here at the show. YouTube.com the commercial break. Please go there, like, and subscribe. Subscribe. Listen. Just subscribe to the video channel if you want to. But we do have some great content there. You can add an extra layer of complexity to the commercial break because there's zero in it right now. And we have this segment that we do called in the Studio. We do it about once a week. We'll try and do it more often where it's a five to ten minute clip. We talk about something that has nothing to. It has nothing to do with the show topics. So. YouTube.com the commercial break, if you would go there. I wanted to give you an update on the furries. You remember this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, so the woman that was from the pta, she was concerned because there was a litter box in the unisex bathroom at the school.

[Brian Greene]

She had heard a rumor, and she knew it was happening all across the country. She was sure of it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exploding.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, heads were. Yeah, literally. She wanted to let the world know on live local television, wherever she was at, but probably Florida, because that's where all that happens. She wanted to let the world know that she knew after an investigation that many, many litter boxes were being placed in the unisex bathrooms for the furry community so that they could pee, pee, poo, poo in the litter box. To which Chrissy and I said, who cares? Pee, pee, poo poo away. Yeah, I mean, you know, what's the difference? Have you ever been into a unisex bathroom at a high school? I mean, it's kind of a litter box anyway, right? It's, you know, kids are not the cleanest with their urinations. And if you want to be a furry, be a furry. And if you want to pee in a litter box, well, as long as you're not hurting anybody. Who the cares? But she said it was an agenda being pushed by, you know, probably Bill Gates, who knows, ladies of whack job. But there. No, the school's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The principal came out.

[Brian Greene]

Came out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

And they said.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I addressed it.

[Brian Greene]

She said, in all my years of teaching, I've never had to address something so ridiculous. And it actually makes me sad to let you know that there are not litter boxes anywhere in the school for any reason, let alone the bathrooms. And maybe we have better things to worry about. And which is what exactly? What Chrissy and I said is that while this woman is preparing her three minute long speech to the school board every week so that she can be a right fighter, her children are going unparented because. Why don't you just talk to your kids about that? Do you like pissing in the litter box? Is that what you like to do? Are you hurting anybody with that? Is this a problem when you go see a therapist? No. Okay, Piss in the litter box. Just clean it up after yourself. Who cares?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Scoop it.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, they're playing make believe. Okay. Scoop it. Fresh scoop. So anyway, the furry community has now responded. I'd like to let you know. Like me to read a little bit of their members of the furry fantasy subculture. Tell the Post that they are not wild about this week's viral rumor that a Michigan school put a litter box in one of its bathrooms. For the kids to identify. For the kids to use who identify as cats. As one harried parent put it far. Harried parents. Just a moron. You call it like you see it. Far from merely identifying as felines, furlies are anthropom. Anthropomorphic community whose members sometimes dress up as a variety of animals at conventions or have special fursonas with whom they connect.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Fursona.

[Brian Greene]

Fursona. Cute. At least 250,000Americans identify as furries. That's a lot. That's a lot more than I expected. But still, luckily a minority of the population. God bless you. I don't give a shit if you dress up. This subset says they're mostly not in it for sexual reasons. But you know, there's. There's always one of the bunch.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, they're sexual beings.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, of course, you know, you're. If you're. If you're into for. Let's not lie about this. Come on, guys. I mean, okay, most people aren't into it for sex, but don't say that a majority of people aren't in it for sex because that's not true. Because if you like dressing up in a. It's a not. Maybe it's not. Maybe you don't fetishize the actual costume, but you're a sexual being. You like to have sex. If you see another attractive kitty cat, full size adult sized kitty cat dressed up in plush costume. Yeah, if I see a hot cat dressed up like a kitty cat, a hot woman dress up like a kitty cat. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a furry, but feeling, I'd go for it, you know, why not? It's a shame that the furry community still endures negative media portrayals and public misconceptions as deviants because. Because the truth of this is remote as deviance. Because the truth of this remarkable and resilient community is far more interesting and complicated, says Dr. Sharon E. Roberts, an associate professor at the University of Waterloo. Waterloo. This is a joke. Yeah, it's somewhere. Yes, I think so. I think you're right. I think that in the long run this kind of attention will help us, however. Help us as a community. However. You know, it's ridiculous that people are continuing to stereotype us and push their agendas on our community. Now, I won't go through the whole thing, but basically what they said is. Is kind of what we had said. Our sentiments, which were these people are just playing make believe for the most part. Most of these people are playing make believe. It doesn't hurt Anybody in the community doesn't harm themselves. They, on weekends they like to go dress up like puddy pats. Like, right, you know, putty pats or dogs or big stuffed bears or whatever it is, you know, lions, dragons. Here, I got a picture.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my.

[Brian Greene]

Here. Oh, you see there? You see that? There you go. Go to YouTube.com the commercial break. Yeah, see, you know, they like to dress up as all kinds of things. There's dragons and it's cosplay is what it is. Basically, you know, it's cosplay, costume play. That's what it is. And cosplay is not limited to just people who like to dress up like furry animals.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, it's not.

[Brian Greene]

And I say to cosplay, God bless you. If you want to go cosplay. Cosplay. You want to dress up for Harry Potter movie, dress up for Harry Potter movie.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

There are plenty of adults who dress up for Star Trek and Star wars and all this other shit. The truth is, is that it's like, it's like Deadheads or fish heads or Commercial break. Fans, besties, besties, we all identify. You identify with a group of people and usually there's a lot of love in that community because everyone has something that they enjoy together. And now while we all may have fun at. At cosplay's expense sometimes, you know, listen, lots of people have fun on my expenses.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Comic Con is huge here.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, Comic Con is huge here. And everybody dresses up. And not just 13 year olds, 40 year olds, 50 year olds, 60 year olds, all ages. Yeah. And so, you know, Halloween, we all dress, you know, I don't, but most people dress up for Halloween in some way, shape or form. I like to dress up, I think. Leave these fucking people alone. Don't throw your stupid political agendas on them. And if they want to piss in a litter box, who fucking care? Honestly, like, think about that.

[Rachel]

It's not hard.

[Brian Greene]

Who cares if you want to piss in a litter box? Piss in a litter box.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Maybe we all should try it.

[Brian Greene]

I have tried it. I do have a sexual fetish around litter boxes and I say go for it. The furry community wants us to know that they're people too.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They are.

[Brian Greene]

And sometimes cats, but mostly people. I'm not a cat. And they're angry about this lady who is now. Who is now all across the Internet. Yeah. And luckily most people think this is ridiculous, but there is a segment of a certain media out, certain media outlets that have actually taken this and ran with it, saying that, you know, all of these.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Disgrace.

[Brian Greene]

It's a disgrace. And our children are being ruined by this or by that. When these numbnuts who are talking on these media outlets were in their teens or they were children or whatever it was.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

People, they were dressing up as, you know, Captain fucking Kangaroo or Cowboy Bob or whatever.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

That's just the way it is. Kids play make believe. And some adults do too. Because you know what? They like to play make believe. Walt Disney made a whole fucking billion dollars off.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's okay.

[Brian Greene]

You know, drawing little cartoon character. It's okay. Let kids be kids. Let them do their thing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And I'll say this to all you furries out there. If you need a litter box to piss in, I got one right under the table. And I'm. And I'm prepared. I'm prepared to allow you in my unisex bathroom known as the commercial break studio for this. I just, I just. I just don't get it. I don't get why I get having fun with it. Like I get having. Having fun with the community or the fact that they dress up or whatever. I don't get demonizing them.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Greene]

For your own political purposes. It's so stupid. There are full grown men who chase monsters out there, Hoadley. Oh, Full grown men who chase make believe monsters.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm getting very excited. I'm getting very excited.

[Brian Greene]

I was trolling on the Internet.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. As you do.

[Brian Greene]

As I do. And I know that it's been a while. It's been a long break. Lots of people were upset that we were gone for so long.

[John the Trapper]

Who?

[Brian Greene]

I don't know who those people are. I just pretend in my head. They're all upset.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right up in arms.

[Brian Greene]

We're high on the charts now. Ho. That. We got a reputation to uphold. You don't see any. You'll see basement yard covering this kind of topic. We last year did a wildly popular segment on Monster Hunter. So we did actually three. Yeah, it's really good. It was. It was a lot of fun.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

These guys are just, I mean, perfect.

[Brian Greene]

They're for. They're more than perfect. They're. They're lovely and they're just. I just don't know how much more fun you could have with this. Monster Hunters is a television program on the Travel Channel. Was on the Travel Channel. I don't think it's on anymore, actually. It was on the Travel Channel. You can find it on YouTube.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Those guys needed a break.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, they needed a break. They ran out of. To talk about. They ran out of fake monsters. Not to catch.

[Tina Connell]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Brian Greene]

So Chrissy and I caught on to Monster Hunters last season and we started reviewing some of the audio on. On the tapes because it's just so ridiculous that anybody takes this seriously. But I bet some of the same people who are. Whatever. Anyway, same people who are demonizing the furries are watching Monster Hunters alone.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

One of my favorite parts is that you brought up, as you brought up that the camera guy never can seem to get.

[Brian Greene]

Not once on tape the monster never, not once or ghost on any of these shows has a legitimate scientist ever or anybody ever caught a glimpse of the monster. Because the cameraman, who we lovely. Who we refer to as Billy, no matter who it really is.

[Tina Connell]

Oh, guys, I'm so sorry. When you said over here, I think you meant over there. I was at the craft table. It's grilled cheese day. Macaroni and cheese all you want.

[Brian Greene]

Never catches the animal that they're trying to chase. Never, not once. Even though he's right there. And everybody, they have encounters with him. They get bitten and they get scratched and they get clawed and they get pulled into the water. The cameraman has never caught up with it. They do get pulled into the water. One guy got pulled fold into the

[Chrissy Hoadley]

water

[Brian Greene]

and the 375 pound man who's leading these man children around this adventure. Right. I'm sure is an actor. Must be. Is, you know, he, he's stopping the camera. You know, the cameraman's behind him. So everyone's too slow to the action. Oh, man, I got bold heads. I'm gonna grab it right by my foot.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It just misses it.

[Brian Greene]

Did you hear that? He was shooting at us. They've been shot at. They've been stabbed. They went to. They went to a cabin.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There was something about a fence one time.

[Brian Greene]

Oh yeah. He got his balls stuck in the fence. I got my balls cutting the fence. That part probably was real. They went to a cabin in the woods one time and they.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There was a nest.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, there was a nest. They've had a nest. There was. Bigfoot was watching TV in one of the place. Remember that TV nest? A Bigfoot nest. So we've had lots of fun with this. We've done probably three episodes. You can go back and watch on season number two. But we, we had so much fun that I thought we'd revisit it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love it.

[Brian Greene]

Now that we have the ability to not only listen, but to allow everybody to watch this. So this is the very first episode of Monster. Very first episode of Monster. Hunters.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We went back to the first one of Frankie. And going back to.

[Brian Greene]

We went to the first dating one of Frankie, which aired last week or the week before.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

His nice crotch.

[Brian Greene]

It's the most awful video I've ever seen in my entire life. But that's just. That's early Frankie.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's early. Early Frankie honed his.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, even the Velvet Underground sounded real bad when they got together, right? But look how that turned out. They're not working at Laundromat somewhere. Okay, now I'd like to present to you. Let's get the full reaction, hot shot. Remember, let me remind you YouTube.com the commercial break. If you want to watch as well as here, but for the podcast sake, we're going to now listen to Monster Hunters. There it is right there. You ready for this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm ready.

[Brian Greene]

All right.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid,

[Brian Greene]

Because I have mute on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Perfect.

[Brian Greene]

Still trying to get used to the new studio here, folks.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sorry, you haven't honed your skill.

[Buck]

Seven foot, 500 pounds, wolf.

[Wild Bill]

Oh, we're gonna build a cage and

[John the Trapper]

catch the wolf man.

[Brian Greene]

And you are worried about a litter box or men building cages for the wolf man. If you're worried about a litter box in the unit. What is that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Is that like, ultra violent?

[Brian Greene]

That's. That's night. That's night vision. Yeah. Which is. Which is actually just real high contrast on your iPhone, is what that is thermal up there.

[Wild Bill]

What the heck is this?

[John the Trapper]

That's a kill sign.

[Brian Greene]

It's a kill side. That's a kill side. This is where they kill the ratings right here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There was, like, a little skeleton.

[Brian Greene]

This is where they kill the power to the camera. That's gonna. That's gonna catch this bastard on television.

[John the Trapper]

We're figuring out what his territory is. So we're closing in on him. We got going on all around hair

[Wild Bill]

standing up on the back of my ne.

[Brian Greene]

I got air standing up on the back of my balls.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love that. Bleep out. Whatever.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, because you know why? First of all. Second of all, I mean, there are. I got going on all around me. Yeah. It's a television set, dude. Of course you do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And you're in the forest.

[Brian Greene]

I know. And we haven't even got. This is just a prelim to the show. This is just the opening shot. The opening monologue montage. I think I see the wolf man.

[Jeff the Researcher]

For generations, the Appalachian Mountains have had more sightings of mysterious creatures than anywhere else in the United States.

[Tina Connell]

Let's do this.

[John the Trapper]

What was that?

[Brian Greene]

We need backup now.

[Jeff the Researcher]

A band of heart.

[Brian Greene]

We need backup.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We need backup.

[Brian Greene]

We need backup. We're out of donuts. We need backup. Who's he calling to? He's got no radio, no phone. He's just yelling, we need backup. Oh, my God. This is the best. I love these guys.

[Jeff the Researcher]

Corps hunters and trappers are out to identify these unexplained creatures.

[Brian Greene]

What's that guy's name? Jeff the researcher. That guy looks like a scientist to me. Jeff the researcher. They're now going through the names of these people and they. And we've got the.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Jeff the researcher.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Willie the trap builder. Wild Bill the expert checker.

[Jeff the Researcher]

One team of native West Virginian sons seeks the truth

[Brian Greene]

Monster. Oh, mountain monsters.

[John the Trapper]

We're headed down to Hazel Green, Kentucky to investigate the Kentucky wolf bed. Wolf County. Wolf county has to be a place for a wolf bed. You'd think.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Makes sense.

[Brian Greene]

Where did they.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Joe Ball.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Wolf County, Kentucky. This is just too good to be true. They're going to Wolf County, Kentucky to find the wolf man. The Kentucky wolf man. I mind you. Not the regular wolf man. Not your everyday average wolf man.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Not the Georgia wolf man.

[Brian Greene]

No. There's differences. Slight, but the differences. If you notice, the Kentucky wolf man likes Pepsi Cola. But the Georgia wolf man is probably to Coca Cola. It just looks like a dog to me. I don't know.

[John the Trapper]

I'm trapper. I spend probably 250 days a year in the woods to hunting big white tails and bear. It's my life.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, you're. You're hunting those elusive Kentucky bear. He spends 200. It does not surprise me that he spends 250 days a year.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, he's trying to get out of the house.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. His wife doesn't want him in the house.

[Tina Connell]

Take that out of here. Bob, I told you, ain't no such

[Chrissy Hoadley]

thing as a wolf man.

[Tina Connell]

You better bring home dinner, Bob.

[Brian Greene]

I'm going to have sex with the wolf man.

[John the Trapper]

Believe it was 2006. We started AIMS. That's Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious.

[Brian Greene]

That is an unfortunate name, Ames. And when you say with a country accent, it sounds like AIDS. We started AIDS in 2006. We started AIDS right here. Appalachian. Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious Sightings. What a cool name we came up with boys, Ames. Do you like that, Ames? We get business cards. Aims to please.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[John the Trapper]

We check out mysterious sightings from Pennsylvania down through Georgia. We've been every place

[Brian Greene]

we've been every Kentucky and Georgia. We've been to every corner of the globe. South Kentucky, North Kentucky, North South Kentucky, Georgia. Yeah, it's all. They're always in Virginia, Georgia, South Carolina or Kentucky. That's where they've been.

[John the Trapper]

Three reports of wolf type creatures down there. Jeff's come up with.

[Buck]

Coming up on Hazel Green. And that's where the Kentucky wolves. There's old Silver.

[Brian Greene]

You have to research her. What's he researching? Moon pies.

[Tina Connell]

Oh, guys, I don't know. This is a little scary. Wolf County. That's where the wolf is. I think that's. I think this is an indication we should turn around. We're not actual investigators, are we? You said you were a door greeter at Kmart Mines.

[Buck]

1760, when the first silver mine was found. I believe that that's where it's hanging out. It's hiding there.

[John the Trapper]

This.

[Brian Greene]

Why? Why? It's attracted to shiny things. I mean, it's a cave, I guess. All right. Okay. I'm trying to. I'm suspend disbelief for one second. It's a cave.

[Buck]

Wolf man, wolf creature, wolf monster. You're Talking like a seven foot, £500 wolf.

[Brian Greene]

Wolf man, £500. That's a dog. That's no wolf man. That's a German shepherd at the.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, Wolf, 500 pounds.

[Brian Greene]

I got strip searched with a dog like German. That's just a nasty looking German shepherd.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's got big teeth to kill.

[Buck]

And he does nothing but kill.

[John the Trapper]

Has it been a long time?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's a killer.

[Brian Greene]

He's a killer. He's got a killer instinct.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Just nothing but kill.

[Brian Greene]

Just like John the Trapper back here. He doesn't talk much. She lost his teeth in an unfortunate bear trap accident. But he likes to trap. John, tell him what you've been trapping lately.

[Tina Connell]

Mainly squirrels. But I'm up for the job. It's just like a really big squirrel with nasty teeth. It's just about £500 more, guys. Did you say £500? I don't know. I didn't sign up for this. I'm getting scared.

[Brian Greene]

Who's that talking?

[Tina Connell]

It's me in the back of the truck. It's cold back here, guys. Can you turn the heat on? Open a window.

[Buck]

Been some really strong Reports from the 70s clear up through in the 2000s to current date. And they're basically in wolf county.

[John the Trapper]

People actually lock their doors and stuff down there at night and won't go outside that they're that feared of it.

[Buck]

They've had sightings.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Huckleberry.

[Brian Greene]

Huckleberry. That's that one guy. This is too good to be true. This is good acting. Actually. These guys, you got to give it to these guys. They made a career out of this. Like, they actually got someone to bite off on this bullshit. And they had a whole. They had like four seasons. Five seasons of this. Oh, yeah, I can imagine. These guys are making. Have made millions of dollars off of

[Chrissy Hoadley]

this content and having fun doing it.

[Brian Greene]

And having fun doing it. Now I don't see the big guy we normally see associated with this. There's another guy, huh? No, there's another dude. But, you know, this is the beginning. This is early days. This is early days of Ames Appalachian industrious men of stoutness.

[Buck]

Ames even got a fantastic folklore following story. They're saying it's like a barilla, A cross between a bear and a gorilla

[Brian Greene]

because of the hair. Barilla. Around here, they drink the barilla sasparilla. It's said to be a combination of wolf pee and lemonade with extra sugar. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Huh.

[Brian Greene]

Sweet.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I have not heard Barilla.

[Brian Greene]

Barilla. That's right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That term.

[Brian Greene]

It's like a barista. It's like a barista.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's like how I like to watch Jeopardy.

[Brian Greene]

That's right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

To learn things. I mean.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Active impotent men searching for bigfoot. Ames. I'm part of Ames. But actively impotent men searching. Yeah, Well, I don't have it with me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Card carrying.

[Brian Greene]

And my old one expired. I'm waiting for a new one. Actually, they won't let me in. I'm not impotent.

[Buck]

Supposed to be bipedal.

[Brian Greene]

Bipedal. That means it's sex with. It's sex with both guns. The Kentucky and the non Kentucky. Wolf. Bipedal. Bipedal. What in the is going on in this episode? I love it already. We're only two seconds.

[John the Trapper]

Words. I have no idea what they mean.

[Buck]

Up on his hind legs and runs like hell and kills everything in sight.

[John the Trapper]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Sounds friendly.

[Tina Connell]

Did you say it kills everything in sack?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

My beetle.

[Tina Connell]

Thank God I don't weigh as much as you guys.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hazel Green.

[Brian Greene]

Hazel Green.

[John the Trapper]

Our first meeting in Hazel Green is going to be a true outdoorsman, a trap shooter named R. He actually had an eyewitness.

[Brian Greene]

His name is R. One letter R. This episode is brought to you by the letter R.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wait, let's just break down for a second. His hat, or I think that might be a handkerchief, has a big rose.

[Brian Greene]

He's got Laura Ashley. He's got Laura Ashley leggings cut into a hat. But then his beard, he's got one of the beard with the. You know how they. They tie it up? Yeah, they tie it up so it's nice and long. So it looks like a ponytail. It's a chin tail.

[John the Trapper]

Sighting of the wolfman.

[Buck]

I really want to see where you saw it at.

[Jeff the Researcher]

I like to be outside.

[Brian Greene]

I really want to see the empty woods. Yeah. R, that's his name. He's a marksman. So they got this guy named. His name is R and it's literally the letter R. Yeah, it has in quotations only in Kentucky.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The marksman.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. And I like Kentucky, by the way. It's a very beautiful place.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is.

[Jeff the Researcher]

And I like to hunt. Mostly I like to hunt birds. We have an expression where we shoot. If it flies, it dies. I come up here a couple times a week.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Honestly, I like to hunt birds. But I mean a seven foot, 500 pounds.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Every once in a blue moon I see a 500 pound creature on its hind legs running at me. I'll shoot that instead. Just. Just for shits and giggles. Usually I go for canaries.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Usually you bird.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Usually I'm. Usually I take my shotgun at hummingbirds. But yesterday I saw a 7,000 pound 40 foot creature eating my dog.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So I said, hey, why not my hind legs?

[Brian Greene]

My name is R.

[Jeff the Researcher]

This area right here. I was looking over through there and about where that tree is at a 45 degree angle, there's a white spot on it. It was in that area right there. It was obvious to me. It was large and it was dark. I could only see it from probably mid torso up. Still couldn't.

[Brian Greene]

I was trying to get a look at a dick, but I could only see. It's just. I wanted to know what he was working with. He is Bipedal, of course, if you didn't know. And by the way, what, what they're. They're now out at a. Like a campsite or something where the guy saw this five years ago. Yeah, because the first thing they had to do is I want to get a look at where you saw it. Like that's going to garner information. It's just a couple trees and some grass. Yep, this looks that kind of place where you would see something if you were gonna see something. It'd definitely be right here. I'm not talking about a wolf bed. I'm just talking about something. Oh my God. You see that tree with the white spot?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That was it.

[Brian Greene]

That was it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I just saw torso up.

[Brian Greene]

Torso up. Naked from the. Naked from. Naked from the belt up. He had a nice set of tits. I'm telling you, I've never wanted to lick Harry set a tit so much. And you should see my wife. She's got the hairiest of them all.

[Jeff the Researcher]

Know what it was until it got into the clear and I got a good look at.

[Brian Greene]

Looked good. Look at it. Okay, now we see a picture of that supposed wolf man as drawn by Matthias. As drawn by my one and a half year old daughter. That's not even a good picture. Oh my God. That's not scary in the least. Look at that. That's clearly drawn with crayons.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, clearly.

[Brian Greene]

We need a picture. Anybody here at the production offices?

[Tina Connell]

Oh, guys, I wish you would have told me. I took one of those art classes online. You know, the kind you see on television. You too can be an artist. You want me to draw a wolf man? I can draw a wolf man.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, go at it. What exactly is this?

[Tina Connell]

It's a wolf man.

[Brian Greene]

Looks like. It looks like a penis with teeth and not. Not a good looking penis.

[Jeff the Researcher]

Like a huge wolf. This thing is on its back legs.

[Buck]

Can you give us some kind of idea, you know, height, size.

[Jeff the Researcher]

It was something that. It was in the neighborhood of 7 foot tall, probably 400 pounds.

[John the Trapper]

Color was.

[Jeff the Researcher]

It was about the color of coyotes in this area with a little more dark in it across the shoulders, down the back. It was not scared. And he gave me.

[Brian Greene]

He was blond with. But he looks like he hadn't had his hair done in a while. He had roots. His eyebrows had just been done. You know what I'm saying? You know how it goes. Look at the one guy writing things down like he's a detective.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, he's the researcher.

[Tina Connell]

That's true.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Can you get.

[Brian Greene]

He's getting. He's Getting such great detail. Can you tell us about how big it was? I don't know, about 7 foot. What color was he? Ah, you know, brown. Color of a coyote. And what color is that? You know, the color of a squirrel. What color is that? You know like that tree over there.

[Jeff the Researcher]

Very uneasy feeling. I didn't know whether to be afraid of it or not.

[John the Trapper]

Most animals,

[Brian Greene]

this is where you, I

[Chrissy Hoadley]

mean I would be afraid.

[Brian Greene]

You see a £700 pound seven foot

[Chrissy Hoadley]

monster from 500 to 4.

[Brian Greene]

£400. Okay, so £400, seven foot standing on its back leg, standing on its back legs, going. I said to myself, well I don't

[Chrissy Hoadley]

know, I don't know. Should I be afraid of this?

[Brian Greene]

Should I shoot it? Should I make love to it? Should I ask it out for a drink? Should I invite it in for sweet tea? I don't know. I couldn't decide in that moment. So I said I'm going to go back to the house and I'll chew on it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, maybe he wasn't afraid.

[Brian Greene]

No, I wouldn't be afraid either.

[John the Trapper]

Predator animal would just head for high country when they start hearing gunfire close to him. Which this creature came in to check it out. Buck, you down there. What tree you think it was and we'll take a look at you.

[Brian Greene]

What tree?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Which tree do you think it was?

[Brian Greene]

Which tree do you think he was standing closest to? That'll give us some investigative clues. Yep, looks like he likes pine. I am detecting his privy to the southeastern tall pine. I'm gonna put that in my notes for my research.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Jack needs to know.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, you know, when I put out my paper in the United States medical journals. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also give us a follow on your favorite socials. He commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out Wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Needs food.

[Rachel]

Today is pork chop day.

[Wild Bill]

I ain't tall enough. I understand I'm the young pup, but he likes to pick at that a little bit.

[John the Trapper]

I'll just add two foot to it.

[Brian Greene]

What can I say, rookie? By the way, this is the guy who takes charge later on down the road. Okay, Buck? Yeah, Buck's the rookie. He's fresh faced. He doesn't have his big beard like he does in the other episodes. But he's the rookie now and he's gonna have to go stand next to that tree. I understand I'm the rookie and I might have to do some things, but standing next to this tree really got me quite nervous. Why? I'm not sure. I think they told us to act scared.

[Tina Connell]

Guys, what do you want me to do with that tree shot?

[Brian Greene]

Put Buck next to us. Hey, Buck. Buck.

[Tina Connell]

What?

[John the Trapper]

Move around a little. Now walk over to that tree right there.

[Brian Greene]

Over to the tree on your left.

[Wild Bill]

Who's left?

[Buck]

Put your hands up on the tree

[Brian Greene]

and walk over there.

[Wild Bill]

Which tree?

[Brian Greene]

Bend over. Buck, show us what you're working with.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Put your hands up on that tree.

[Brian Greene]

Put your hands up on that tree

[Tina Connell]

and shake that ass.

[Brian Greene]

Buck, we need to put our rookies through a little bit of hazing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, now drop your pants and show us your scrundle sack. Okay, now Joe's gonna come over and tie you to the tree. We'll be back in two to four weeks to see if we caught a wolf man. Do us a favor. Remember any details you get in the wolf man banging you in the rear. Thanks, Buck. Talk to you soon. Oh, guys, this is we. What we got here is we got mountain monsters, improv comedy troupe going on. Now walk to the left. Now walk to the right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Which left?

[Brian Greene]

I know. And this the travel chair. The producers on here are so stupid as to think people would find this funny. And the crazy thing is there's probably lots of people sitting at home. Go. Those mountain monsters, they know how to yuck it up, don't they? On your left, there's 75 trees.

[Jeff the Researcher]

Your other left, 20 foot to your right.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, there you go. Where I was going, dummy. There we go. Now reach up there like seven or eight feet. I can't reach seven or eight. I can't reach seven or 8ft.

[Tina Connell]

I keep telling you.

[Brian Greene]

Now disrobe from the belt up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let me see your torso.

[Brian Greene]

Let me see your torso. This is such great. These. These guys have put together one of the funniest, if you look at it in the right way. And I know, like, you know, like Mystery Science Theater 3000, which. This is an obvious, you know, ode to.

[John the Trapper]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

I mean, this kind of comedy is. Is done the best by some of the professionals. But. But it's just so ridiculous that it has to be comedy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

Like, these guys don't go home at night and think that they found a 7 foot, 400 pound monster man naked from the torso up.

[Tina Connell]

Santa Claus.

[Brian Greene]

Let's get this together. How's that?

[John the Trapper]

Totem pole always gets picked on. So we thick on Buck. It's like having a teddy bear.

[Brian Greene]

Hey, guys, like, it was. That was creepy. Yeah, he's like the guy. Lois on the totem pole always gets picked on. It's like having a teddy bear. You can poke it in the stomach, you can rub its genitalia, you can give it kisses on the back of its neck. Come here. But it's just part of the hazing. It's me, R. Yeah, I had to go through it too. It's just me R. It's just me R. Are you a big spoon or a little spoon, Buck? Today you're a big spoon.

[John the Trapper]

Hey, guys, come here.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, smell that. Buck just farted. You smell that? That's Waffle House. Here, guys, pull my finger.

[John the Trapper]

Yeah, look at that. You all said.

[Wild Bill]

See, something rubbed up against that tree.

[Brian Greene]

It was you. You were just rubbing up against.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was Buck.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Come on, Buck. I thought you were over there playing around. Look, you made a whole dent. He's doing some whacking by the whacking noodle.

[Tina Connell]

Aw, guys, I don't think this is such a good idea.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love how they highlighted that. It's a white spot on the tree.

[Brian Greene]

It's actually, you know, a good rain would do that. This is the most ridiculous thing I know. They put a nice flash in there too. Everything in these shows is dictated by the music and the lighting. So when it's getting serious, like it was just funny and so they had. But when it's serious, it's like they just throw a bunch of sound effects to try and make you think.

[John the Trapper]

Yeah, he was only fall forwards and he was rubbing just about like that right there. That'd make him a good four foot to his back.

[Wild Bill]

How you know, bird didn't scratch his back on that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, he's gone to a bird just

[Wild Bill]

right up on that.

[John the Trapper]

You want me to tell you? What? Why? Because first thing you'll do, you'll go up there and scrap that tree right like that before he rubs on it. And damn little bear. A little bear be rubbing up this hot. The rub would be up here, wouldn't be down there. The stress forks would be up here. Now do you understand?

[Brian Greene]

I got you. He'd have his hands way up high and he'd be pretending this tree. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do you understand?

[Brian Greene]

Do you understand?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I got you. Not friendly guys, but I got you.

[Tina Connell]

Yeah, I trust you. You say so. Not entirely sure what you just said. Doesn't seem to be much difference to me. The tree looks like a tree, but. Okay,

[John the Trapper]

our story was good. I think we better come back out here tonight and see if we can get some more evidence. We're gonna find a wolf man and

[Jeff the Researcher]

I need to know what this is. And if you guys can help me, I'd appreciate it.

[Brian Greene]

I need to understand what I didn't invite in for sweet tea. I need to know if it's single.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If you guys can help me, I appreciate it.

[Brian Greene]

I need to know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know if I should be scared of it or not.

[Brian Greene]

I need to know what kind of music she likes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Help me out.

[Brian Greene]

Help me out. This Tinder shit ain't flying. I need to know if I've got something I can have sex with out here or if. Or if I'm at a loss, you know what I'm saying? Because I was solved from the torso up. Look pretty good to me. A little hairy for my taste, but, you know, man's got to do what a man's got to do. Hey, say, you guys have any Laura Ashley pants you're going to throw away? I'm going to make some hats out of them. Which is my favorite part about this is he's literally wearing a floral print hat.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Floral print durag type thing.

[Brian Greene]

Do rag. Well, you know, takes all kinds.

[John the Trapper]

We're out here in the middle of the night because it's absolutely the best time to investigate a predator.

[Brian Greene]

Wait, hold on. How do you know what the best time of night is to investigate the predator? The predator of a wolf man. There are lots of predators that eat during the day, including the apex predator. Humans. Whales, tigers, lions, they all eat during the day. But. Okay, I'm following you, but let's go out. Yeah, okay. It's 1:43 in the morning according to the clock. Yeah, it's probably 9:15.

[John the Trapper]

Man's a predator. We did our first interview with r Today here in wolf county, Kentucky. And that was an interview starting up in here right now. And this first night investigation we're looking

[Chrissy Hoadley]

for, they were telling buck to go left and. Amazing Buck. That was an interview?

[Brian Greene]

That was an interview. He said our. We had our first interview with our today. He asked two questions. How tall was he? How big was he? Point out where you saw him six years ago. Over there near the creek.

[John the Trapper]

Kentucky Wolfman. Danger's unreal. This thing is huge.

[Brian Greene]

Security Huckleberry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So he's heading up security.

[Brian Greene]

So we're listening to huckleberry, who's head of security. What are you securing? You're gonna stop the wolf man from coming to eat everything in sight. According to you.

[John the Trapper]

Be on top of you and take two or three of us out in no time.

[Wild Bill]

Now, if it starts charging, she wants to go ahead and start shooting.

[John the Trapper]

Once you start shooting and you put one in him, he's coming. So be careful on that starting shooting. Just follow my lead.

[Buck]

What?

[Brian Greene]

Be careful about stopping him from eating you, because once you stop him from eating you, he's coming to eat you. So if he's large, if he's taking his five and a half foot paw with his sharp incisor like nails and he is clawing your heart out, be careful about kicking him in the potatoes because then you're. Then your brain's gone. Okay? So you got. It's like a choice you got to make. You got to say, would I rather lose my penis or let the other guys get away for a few minutes? Don't use that gun. Now he's telling him this because obviously they can't use a gun on the show. So.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah,

[John the Trapper]

eastern Kentucky is noted for their caves. So I'm looking for a rock overhang where he can find shelter. I'm looking for trails, tracks, scat, hare, Anything that I can pick up to nail that. He's in here.

[Brian Greene]

And I'm looking for this at night, even though we were here seven hours earlier during the daylight, I am looking at night. True. Why are they doing that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're really taking in everything that we can see.

[Brian Greene]

I know some researcher this guy is. He decided to go. I know. Well, first of all, this TV in the studio for visual purposes isn't the best.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're looking for hair at night.

[Brian Greene]

We're looking for scat.

[Tina Connell]

Oh, guys, I'm sorry. That was me. I took a dump.

[John the Trapper]

There's one right here. Well, we got. We got coyotes yeah. See it right there?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[John the Trapper]

See him right here? See him right there? A couple days old. That's a 45 pounder. These are the ball.

[Brian Greene]

45 pounder?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, it's gone from 700.

[Brian Greene]

They're talking about coyote. Yeah.

[John the Trapper]

Okay. K mine. Don't pull his toenails in like a cat.

[Buck]

As a researcher, I've spent years researching different things, different hunts, different tracking. If you don't know your animals and if you don't know what you're doing, you're never going to be able to track a creature.

[Brian Greene]

As a researcher. Hi, I'm Brian Greene. And as a researcher, I've researched lots of shit in my life. I know about canned farts. I know about Joe Rogan and Spotify. I know about which camera angles work and do not work inside of this tiny little studio. And DD canters. I'm now gonna go out and hunt a wolf fan. As a researcher. What kind of researcher are you?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Greene]

In which, which college are you a professor emeritus? I'd like to know.

[John the Trapper]

Are you. Are you picking up anything on the thermals?

[Brian Greene]

On the thermals?

[John the Trapper]

Thing could be right above us.

[Wild Bill]

Make sure you keep that thermal above us.

[Brian Greene]

What are you doing flying around? What is he, a gummy bear? He's got secret tunnels up in the trees.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He could be above us.

[Brian Greene]

He could be above us, flying here

[Tina Connell]

and there and everywhere.

[John the Trapper]

That claw marks right there. There and four claw marks right there. Is that claw marks? Looks like it, don't it?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, right. It's a rock. It's just a rock. It's a rock with a line in it. It's not claw marks. Is that claw marks? What's he doing? No, he's a rock climber.

[Wild Bill]

With this big overhang laying over top of us, we are very susceptible to any predator getting on us. From that vantage point.

[John the Trapper]

He get his claws in right there and then where. You see where he slipped and got a hole right there? Yeah, going right up along right.

[Brian Greene]

You see here where he was reading the New York Times while taking a. And then he walked over to the bathtub and started it. And then over here, he was having some Cheetos. You see that? You see how that happened with this overhang? He could be right on top of us. You never know. He could literally fall from the sky like Batman. These guys are in a different universe. You see that? How do you even. As a researcher, how do you make. This guy's literally pointing from far left to far right. Go. You see over here. He's calling over here. Then he made his way over there, then down there. Then he had a drink of water, went back up, took piss, took a shit, came back down here, called his mom over here. He had dinner, probably turkey. That's what the claw marks are telling me.

[Wild Bill]

There could easily be something up above us, watching us, stalking us. You know, something could easily have its eye on us. We could be its next male.

[Tina Connell]

No, guys, that's just me. I'm sorry. I was up here just hanging out. You told me to stay as far away from the action as possible so as not to catch anything on camera. Remember when you said, oh, we're rolling. I'm sorry.

[Brian Greene]

It's my second day coyote bumper, I

[John the Trapper]

can tell you that. That's a spooky situation.

[Brian Greene]

I see. I sense some actions coming here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, there's water running too.

[Tina Connell]

Yeah.

[John the Trapper]

Could be right above us. What's that up there?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What's that up there?

[John the Trapper]

Y' all see this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, oh, I can't see.

[John the Trapper]

We went right around a rock right over here. My years of experience tells me.

[Tina Connell]

Wait, is that a flashlight, Guys?

[Brian Greene]

So what you see on the screen now is literally a fuzzy flashlight. Yeah. You see that over there?

[Rachel]

What?

[Tina Connell]

Guys, I see someone's cell phone light. It's very pretty. I'm gonna take a picture of it.

[John the Trapper]

Hey. Yes. This is a place where he could den up. I'm gonna have to go up in there and check that out. Move.

[Brian Greene]

Slot duty compels me to get closer to the danger. I think I smell him. These guys. If you saw a seven foot wolf man. Yeah, yeah. I would be doing this during the day. I mean, I'm not telling these guys how to do their job. They're obviously the professionals here. But I might do this during the day. Just saying.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Wild Bill]

Watch around that corner.

[Brian Greene]

Trapper, if he's right there, watch around that corner. Because that's super easy to do. Watch around that corner.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right, right.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, yeah. Watch around that corner.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Be careful of that.

[Brian Greene]

Watch through that cement brick. Be careful. You're looking over in india. See what they're doing over there?

[John the Trapper]

Crab moss is knocked off right there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, moss has been knocked off.

[John the Trapper]

Oh, look in here. Look at this.

[Brian Greene]

We're getting dangerous. Easy, easy.

[John the Trapper]

Look here, look here.

[Brian Greene]

Easy, easy, easy, easy. There's an inch of water. Easy. It could come splashing out of the inch of water, Pull us down to certain doom.

[Wild Bill]

What the heck is this?

[John the Trapper]

This is unreal.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What is that?

[Brian Greene]

It's a skeleton.

[Buck]

We're in a really rough, rough part of Kentucky.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We've been getting massive A rough part of Kentucky.

[Brian Greene]

It's known for its car breaking. And Wolfman. It's known for its drug dealing. In Wolfman or in the rough part, you know the kind. You don't go outside at night by yourself. But we're outside at night by ourselves. That's the best way to catch a wolf man.

[Buck]

Out of reports of wolfman sightings and that's what's brought us here tonight. I think we're going to get some really good results.

[Wild Bill]

Watch around there.

[Brian Greene]

What results? What results? Are you giving him a pee test? Are you doing a COVID test on the thing? What good results? You know what a good result was? Get a picture of them. After 27,000 episodes, I want to see a picture. But you're not going to because the cameraman, Billy, cannot keep up. Ever trapper.

[Wild Bill]

If he's right there, he can get you.

[John the Trapper]

Look where that moss is knocked off right there.

[Brian Greene]

You can barely see what's going on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You can't see anything.

[Brian Greene]

Easy, easy.

[Wild Bill]

Oh, what the heck is this?

[Brian Greene]

Whoa, whoa. Bones.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A bone.

[John the Trapper]

Oh my God. That's a kill.

[Brian Greene]

It's a kill. It's a kill. Side. It killed any libido my wife has for me. Killed our ratings kills. My paycheck. It's a kill site. It looks like a human, does it? As a researcher, I'm pretty sure these are human bones here. With its elongated nose and its four paws.

[John the Trapper]

That a cow? That's a cow. Ain't but everything, Buck. I led the team right up into this little crevasse right over here.

[Brian Greene]

We're surfing around this road right straight

[John the Trapper]

in for these damn feeding area. This is the biggest boneyard I've ever found.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Boneyard?

[Brian Greene]

It's one cow. It's a boneyard, not a yard. It's a skeleton. By the way. That's completely clean of any dirt, mud, blood.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, nothing.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, no sinew or tissue or anything. It's been picked clean in a creek. Perfectly preserved as if they bought it off of ebay or made it out of plaster molding.

[John the Trapper]

There's a deer carcass. Another cow ribs. Look here at the femur bone. That son of a.

[Brian Greene]

Those are chicken wings from Wendy's.

[Tina Connell]

Oh, that's me, guys.

[Brian Greene]

I'm sorry.

[Tina Connell]

I thought that was the bone plate.

[John the Trapper]

Bitch is big enough. He had to drug an 800 pound steer in here. Let me tell you what I know. That son of a bitch can pull down 1000 pound steer and run down a 40 mile an hour coyote. Whatever did this, I've never encountered a

[Brian Greene]

Creature like that, I can't believe it's

[Wild Bill]

big enough to drag back a bull.

[John the Trapper]

The wolf man's a lot bigger, stronger, faster.

[Tina Connell]

Did someone say Red Bull?

[Brian Greene]

A bull. Let me tell you some facts that I've understood as I understand them as a researcher. We came in here in the middle of the day to find something that looked like a clearing in the woods. Someone saw something torso up seven years ago. We came back at night because that's the certainly the better time for the cameras. That's right. These bones would not look as good with actual light on them. So now we've been searching in the dark. And what I found.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Boneyard kill site.

[Brian Greene]

That is a boneyard kill site. That is a 6 million pound bowl. Facts. He can outrun a coyote at 75 miles per hour. He can pull a 3,000 pound bull by his tail, swing him around and throw him up against the wall. And his bones just come flying out of his mouth here in the boneyard. He then takes him back, cooks him up medium rare. Doesn't like ketchup. He's like Chrissy Hoadley. Oh my God. He has dinner. Maybe he watches Dancing with the stars.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Bachelor.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, the Bachelor. And then he goes back out for more killing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, he's gonna kill himself this time.

[Brian Greene]

He kills a bird. Looks like a chicken. Oh, that's a chicken wing. I'm sorry.

[John the Trapper]

Than I ever conceived. This is gonna be dangerous. We're up against a predator that no human being should be up against. These bones are bleached out. He just hadn't been here for a while. There's none of this side. I'm reading that's fresh song. The son of a is a mountain monster.

[Brian Greene]

And that folks is our catchphrase. Just like best of you. That son of a is a mountain monster. He's a biggin. All right, we'll get back to part number two, I promise. Settle down, everybody. Settle down.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Through 10 minutes.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, we didn't even get through 10 minutes. I mean, I don't even think we're at the first commercial break on this show. But that's cuz we can't. Shut up. But I mean, that's the whole point of the show. Yeah, it's funny, it's fun, it's fun to do this. I love these mountain monsters. Okay, we'll get back to this. I actually, we'll have to make sure I, I, I figure out what time this is so I can actually start it again. But I just love this show. Oh my God, I just love this show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Amazing.

[Brian Greene]

The first time I. Time I saw it, I knew that it's. It's comedy gold. It is comedy gold. You cannot make this up. I mean, they do make this up, you know, you can't make this up. It's just one of those things. So here is how we do it. We'd like you to go to tcb podcast.com. that's where you find out more about Chrissy and I. You can listen to all the audio, you can watch all the video, or you can go to YouTube.com if you go there. And if you're so inclined, please subscribe to the channel. Helps us out more than you know, like, and comments on any of the videos you may be interested in. We do clips of the shows every day of the week. We do in the studio, which is YouTube exclusive. You can only find it on YouTube at least once a week.

[Tina Connell]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

So go there and check it out, if you would. We'd really like it. Go to. tcb, chrissy, or at the commercial break. Follow us on Instagram. I have an Instagram too, but I don't. I don't do much with it. I'm too famous. Too famous. Yeah. She's tagging me. That's. My content is being tagged in other people's photographs. I'm too good for Instagram. I got other. I'm worrying about I gotta edit the show and all that stuff. You know, I got all my times wasted in this studio. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're very helpful. Still don't trust you. You don't like ketchup. Yeah. At the commercial break on Instagram. @tcbchrissy661best2yo6612378296 send us a text message about what you'd like to see us talk about. And if. If you're lucky, you're gonna get a wild card Wednesday episode. And all of that content is going to be driven by decisions made here in this studio or by you, the

[Chrissy Hoadley]

listener, or by Huckleberry.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, by Huckleberry. Or R. This episode brought to you by the little R. So if you have a content idea, make sure you text it to us and we will get on it and we appreciate it. Some people do text us and they let us know what they'd like to hear on the show. And, you know, I'd say 7 out of 10 times I use it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And maybe the other 2, 2 or 3%. I just haven't gotten to it yet, so. Okay. How much more can we do? Today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think that's it.

[Brian Greene]

How much more can I love you?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best of you, Brian.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we must say, we always say, we do say bye. Bye. The Commercial Break New episodes on Tuesdays and Now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop [e-mail] the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at. The Commercial Commercial Break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Greene, co hosted by Chrissy Hoadley with additional content provided by Tina Connell. Sa.