TCB Coloidal Colada Coolers

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "TCB Coloidal Colada Coolers"

Date: March 5, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme:
A blend of fast-paced, irreverent banter as Bryan and Krissy riff on the post-Oscars haze, celebrity culture, and absurd business ideas—culminating in classic TCB chaos with personal anecdotes, rants, and the signature pitch for wine coolers laced with dubious wellness ingredients.

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Main Theme & Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy dive into the aftermath of the recent Oscars, dissecting the ceremony, winners, and notable moments, all while embracing TCB’s signature off-the-cuff humor. The episode seamlessly swings between tongue-in-cheek business pitches (TCB wine coolers, anyone?), pop culture chatter, and a colorful, cautionary tale from Bryan’s chaotic day in a school parking lot.

• Tone: Playful, unfiltered, and self-aware comedic banter.
• Purpose: To offer listeners an unpolished, funny, and relatable breakdown of pop culture and everyday life mishaps through the hosts’ witty lens.

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Section Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Absurd News Parody: The "Dysentery Virus" Outbreak (00:04–01:23)

Kicking off with a satirical news bulletin, the show lampoons small-town health scares and hypes colloidal silver as a cure for all that ails Crabapple, USA.

Bryan (as Dr. Hervern Skulkel): "A flame is going to come out because it will be on fire, and nobody will ever stick a penis in your butthole again." (00:56)

Takeaway:
Sets up the episode’s playful, chaotic tone while satirizing infomercial medical advice.

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2. TCB Wine Cooler Business Scheme (01:23–02:10, 28:01–31:17)

Bryan proposes launching a TCB-branded line of “wine coolers” with outlandish flavors (colloidal silver, beet juice), blending the pursuit of podcast riches with mock-unethical marketing.

Bryan: "Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover remedy. The drink that gets you sober." (01:54)
Krissy: "I like it." (01:53/29:36)

—

Bryan: "TCB wine coolers. Helps with the... May turn your skin blue. Colloidal silver. That’s it. Colloidal silver. We’re making wine coolers and the flavors are going to be colloidal silver, homegrown vaccine..." (29:45)

Key Insight:
Pokes fun at celebrity beverage trends, poking holes in the business logic while lampooning wellness grifts and marketing to teens (purely satirical).

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3. Oscars Round-Up: Hot Takes & Memorable Bits (02:12–25:48)

Oscars Hosting & Conan O’Brien (02:18–04:57)

• Bryan praises Conan as "a steady hand on the ship" and a “uniquely suited” Oscars host, while dunking on Jay Leno for his "unceremonious" return to late-night TV.

Bryan: "That pompous jack off, Jay Leno, came back after he promised he was retiring... I was never the biggest Jay Leno fan, but that kind of sealed it for me." (04:05)

• Both hosts agree the broadcast was generally a "snooze fest."

Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo & Lip Sync Policing (07:01–09:14)

Bryan scrutinizes performances, accusing Ariana of lip-syncing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," while lauding Cynthia Erivo's live singing.

Bryan: "It's my favorite pastime. I love to determine whether or not someone is lip syncing, and I like to call it out. Now, I don't have any problem with it because it's the Oscars... I'm just sharing with you, that's what I observed." (08:20)

Format & Awards Rant (09:14–11:08)

• New format: Nominees bring out all competitors per category; hosts dislike that they don’t show actual work (e.g., costumes or cinematography).
• Kieran Culkin’s speech: “Very cute” anecdote about his family and Oscar motivation.

Best Picture & Performance Critiques (12:32–18:16)

• Both saw "Anora"/Menorah and "Substance" with mixed feelings; neither found either "life-changing."
• Discussion on Mikey Madsen vs. Demi Moore for Best Actress, noting “life imitating art” as the themes of "Substance" mirrored Moore’s real-life Oscar snub.

Krissy: "For me, it was more about like the take on Hollywood or just women in general, like aging..." (14:53)

• Reflection on Demi Moore's overlooked dramatic range.

Cameo Callouts & Show Pacing (19:01–25:48)

• Tarantino’s appearance injected some “cool cat” energy.
• The hosts dissect Gene Hackman’s strange death with morbidity and dark humor.
• Queen Latifah’s "The Wiz" performance got a lukewarm theatrical audience response:

"Nobody bothered to stand up..." (21:41)

• Climax: Adrien Brody’s “insufferable” acceptance speech.

Bryan: “He is insufferable... It was insufferable, incoherent, and irrelevant as far as I'm concerned.” (25:13)

Hulu Cutting Off the End (24:53–25:11)

• Hulu’s early cutoff means some missed Best Picture.

“They could have cut out Adrian's f***ing half of his acceptance speech and probably gotten an extra 30 minutes on there...” (25:13)

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4. Listener Engagement & Side Tangents (26:47–28:01, 45:20–47:42)

Podcast Housekeeping:

• Calls to action for TCB stickers, voicemails, texts.
• Banter about George Clooney’s absence, speculation on why A-list star power was lacking at the Oscars.

Bryan: "Where did Clooney go? What's the last movie he did?... Yeah, I guess when you have a private island in Italy, you don't go many places." (27:36)

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5. Everyday Chaos: Bryan’s School Parking Lot Debacle (36:33–47:42)

Bryan details a tense real-life clash with hot-headed tree service workers while picking up his daughter, wrestling with escalating tempers, parental guilt, and 2020s-style public confrontations.

Story Arc:

• Miscommunications about cones and blocked lanes lead to shouting, a thrown cone, and heated, profanity-laden exchanges—all with Bryan’s child in the car.
• Bryan reflects on his (and everyone’s) “adrenaline pumping,” the modern atmosphere of public anxiety, and lessons on de-escalation.

Bryan: "It just seemed a little hot headed for the moment." (45:57)
Krissy: "I was going to say your adrenaline had to have been totally pumping." (43:23)

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6. Pop Culture Absurdities: Casey Anthony Returns & O.J. Riffs (48:18–54:14)

• Casey Anthony relaunching as a legal analyst gets roasted:

Bryan: "Here's a little advocacy work on behalf of your daughter. Don't kill her in the first place." (48:29)

• Both hosts express disbelief at Anthony re-emerging and draw parallels to O.J. Simpson’s post-trial antics.

Bryan: "If I had one piece of advice for OJ if I'm a friend of OJ's, it's like, dude, God just kissed you on the forehead. Never even think about jaywalking again. Don't even think about it." (53:51)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Business Plans:
  "We'll get you drunk and make you feel like junk. Why not? TCB wine coolers for teenagers. Yeah, we'll target teenagers for our sale."
  — Bryan (28:37 — pure satire)

• On the Culture of Outrage:
  "Everybody is so on f***ing edge all the time that it really is a scary time to be alive. Right."
  — Bryan (43:32)

• On Celebrities Selling Booze:
  "Why don’t we have a tequila brand? Why don’t we have something that’s of value? Because the content certainly isn’t it."
  — Bryan (28:09)

• On Awards Shows:
  "It’s just become kind of a boring, you know, jack off show."
  — Bryan (06:02)

• On Life-Imitating Art (Oscars):
  “It was just like life imitating art in such a weird way.”
  — Bryan (18:02), reflecting on Demi Moore’s Oscar loss mirroring her film's plot

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04 – 01:23: Satirical “news” segment – Dysentery outbreak and colloidal silver.
• 01:23 – 02:10 & 28:01 – 31:17: Wine cooler business riffing.
• 02:18 – 25:48: Oscars review—Conan, performances, speeches, show structure.
• 36:33 – 47:42: School parking lot confrontation story.
• 48:18 – 54:14: Casey Anthony & O.J. Simpson pop culture digression.
• 54:49 – 56:42: Listener engagement, closing thoughts.

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Final Thoughts & Listener Takeaways

Episode Flow:
A classic TCB episode—cycles quickly through irreverent pop culture analysis, offbeat business ideas, and personal storytelling, always with a self-aware comedic edge.

For New Listeners:
Expect tangents, laughter, and no sacred cows. If you want to keep up with Oscars watercooler talk, failson business schemes, or just want to hear an unfiltered take on American absurdities, this episode delivers.

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Connect with TCB:

• tcbpodcast.com
• Messages: 212-433-3822
• Free sticker via website
• Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
• YouTube & TikTok: TCB Podcast

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Summary by your friendly, silly chatbot. Wah-bam!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Foreign.

[Toby Shit (news anchor)]

Welcome back to Toby Shit evening news. It's news you can use before you snooze. Wshit lean and mean. And first on the scene, an update on the continuing health scare from Donna's Dairy Depot and Delicatessen. With over 137 people now affected by the ongoing dysentery virus found in the milk and cheese buffet, authorities have yet to stop the spread of the illness.

[Brian Green]

We.

[Toby Shit (news anchor)]

With almost all FDA employees now unemployed, Crabapple continues to see its residents fall ill with symptoms ranging from violent vomiting and fever to explosive diarrhea and tooth loss. The head of Crabapple's health department, recent RFK junior appointee Dr. Herven Skulkel, held the press conference to address the community and give his advice on the extreme symptoms. Let's listen now to what the doctor had to say to the residents experiencing gastrointestinal issues.

[Brian Green]

A flame is going to come out because it will be on fire and nobody will ever stick a penis in your butthole again.

[Toby Shit (news anchor)]

And Dr. Skokel also added that residents should take their daily dose of colloidal silver. And we wish all the best to our anally challenged friends. We'll be back after this commercial break.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, Listen, if we were in the wine cooler business, that's where it's at. We're gonna do a merch drop. I'm not even gonna say when. Cause then it'll never happen. But we're gonna do a merge drop. And like, Astor and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers. Why not wine coolers? Let's drop wine coolers. And then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice. Beet juice and colloidal silver.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I like it.

[Brian Green]

Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover. The dream that gets you sober. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh, yeah.

[Toby Shit (news anchor)]

Cats and kittens.

[Brian Green]

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Mikey Dimore, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Did you watch the Oscars? We haven't had a chance to talk about it because this is our first episode since the Oscars appeared. Did you watch the Oscars?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I watched a little of it.

[Brian Green]

The Oscars. If you didn't mean.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I did not watch the whole thing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing that Conan thing where he takes his hip and he moves it back and forth, you know you don't know the Conan thing. Yeah, he takes his hip, he moves it back and forth with a string.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay. All right, so Conan, Conan did the Oscars, I think, you know, he did a job. He did just fine. Conan did just fine. He was a steady hand on the ship. He, he did a great, I think, intro monologue. He did a good job without offending too many people. He was really funny. I liked a bit with John Lithgow. You know, Conan is a good host. He's done this for a long time. He did whatever it was. 26 years, 30 years of late night television. So he certainly knows how to work a crowd. He knows how to be in front of a crowd, how to deliver a monologue, how to be funny. He's got a team of writers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He kind of never ages, now that I think about it.

[Brian Green]

Conan doesn't age. Good docs or good genes. Question mark.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hmm.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're right about that. Conan doesn't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That he's been on for that long. He is, but. Yeah, I haven't seen an age.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. His first television show, of course, came on. Was it. Was he on NBC? Did he come on after the late night? Yeah, he came on after the late night, after the Tonight Show, I think, is what it was. But Conan o', Brien, you know, from moment one, was a very skilled comedian and a comedic writer. He's self effacing. He never takes himself too seriously. He's humble in the face of all successes. And then when he got fired from the Tonight show, he took over the Tonight show for two minutes. And then when he took over the Tonight show, he became an international superstar.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Not because the Tonight show did well, it did not do well under him, but because he got fired in such an unceremonious way. And then that pompous jack off, Jay Leno came back after he promised he was retiring. Came back for another 10 years. You remember that? Yeah, yeah. That made me. I was never the biggest Jay Leno fan, but that kind of sealed it for me. I was like, that's a really shitty thing to do to your quote unquote friend. But I don't think Jay Leno is friends with anybody. I think Leno's friends with Jay Leno. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. And his car.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So I say all this to say that I think Conan is uniquely suited, like Jimmy Kimmel, to handle the Oscars or something like the Oscars, an awards show that really needs someone who can bounce it along, keep it on time, tell jokes in between improv when necessary. When he sees things happening, do it on the fly and move to the next one. But it doesn't matter because the Oscars is a snore fest. No matter what kind of seems like that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's why I didn't really tune in.

[Brian Green]

It has really become.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Came up and went like halfway up or something. He was introducing some category.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he was. I must have taken a pee break during that because I think I watched most of it, but I don't remember Ben Stiller.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, he came out. He was introducing something.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of Ben Stiller, Ben Stiller's show Severance has now become the most watched streamed television show ever. Something like, you know, 539 million minutes of streaming watched or something. So 7, 97% rotten tomato score. A lot of people don't like it, but I do. I think it's very good.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love it. I have a love hate with it though, because as soon as I watch the latest one, I immediately want to see the next one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you have to know what the next one is. And it's just. They just don't do it. Like I wish they would just dump a season on us. Dump a season on us and then I can wait another two years for the next season. I'm okay with that. Yeah, they can move the production along a little faster. That would be great. But I also understand it must be very hard to write this show. There's a lot of loose ends you gotta wrap up. They don't want to make it. And then to film.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's like a puzzle.

[Brian Green]

It is like a puzzle. Anyway, we've talked enough about severance. I'm a severance. I'm a cuck for severance here on the show. But, you know, I thought Conan did just a fine job. I think the Oscars is a snooze fest. I think it's really just become kind of a boring, you know, jack off show. And so let's talk about it just for this segment and then we're gonna, we're gonna move on. You didn't watch the whole thing, did you?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, but I got, I was getting updates too on my phone of like what's, you know, who won.

[Brian Green]

So there are two moments of the show that I think were very interesting. And that was Conan's beginning monologue, kind of the first 15 minutes of the show. They did like a very nice tribute to LA and moviemaking and to the people who suffered horrible things during the wildfires over there in la. And the firefighters, who of course were very brave and went in there and tried to save people's homes and businesses. So that was very nice. And then there had been a lot of talk and of course it came true that Ariana Grande teamed up with. Oh God, now I can't remember her.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Vivo or Cynthia Erivo.

[Brian Green]

Yes, Cynthia Erivo. They teamed up to do their whole Wicked thing. So Ariana Grande came out and she's saying Somewhere over the Rainbow. I noticed that she was lip syncing Somewhere over the Rainbow. Now I would imagine this has something to do with maybe her voice wasn't in great shape, maybe she wasn't feeling good. Something along those lines. But I noticed that the music, the actual backing track and her lips were not 100% aligned. The cameras did not show close ups when she was moving her lips in while she was doing the lyrics. But then I also noticed when Cynthia came out to do the Wicked song, you know, Defying Gravity, that she was singing. It appeared that she was singing. You could hear the breaths, you could hear the. The lips. You could see that Ariana was singing your favorite pastime. It is my favorite pastime. I love to determine whether or not someone is lip syncing and I like to call it out. Now, I don't have any problem with it because it's the Oscars and you don't want to fall flat on your face during the Oscars, especially if you have a cold. Listen, this is coming from the former singer of 33, Penis. Okay? I'm not saying that I could do a better job. I'm just sharing with you that that's what I observed. I observed that she was lip syncing during Somewhere over the Rainbow and not during Defying Gravity. So Cynthia comes out. It's mainly a Cynthia song. That Defying Gravity. There's a few lines for Ariana. She fucking nailed it. I mean, 100% chills up your spine. Nailed that song, every note of it. And that to me, I'm convinced she's. That girl has got a voice among voices. Such a tiny little frame and such a huge voice comes out of it. I will share. Well, no, I'm not gonna share that. Cause then I'm gonna get to comments and stuff like that. Brian, should you. This is one of those moments where Brian goes, should you or will you regret this 10 days from now when you have a list of text messages beating you up about what you just said? Okay, I'm not going to share it. Nevermind. You make your own judgment calls. But Cynthia has an Amazing voice. She brought the house down, everybody standing up. And I thought to myself, okay, this is a great start to the Oscars. Let's keep it going. As my children are screaming. My children doing their own version of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Defying Gravity in the background, the practicing.

[Brian Green]

But then, honestly, it just became a snooze fest. It was, you know, award after award. The presentation style was not particularly interesting. Conan did not. He was not on camera enough, I think, to make a super impact on what happened. He showed up for a few seconds, made a one liner, and then went away, introducing the next people who were introducing the next category. And that the way that they did it this year. For those of you that didn't watch, and most of you didn't watch, apparently, due to the. Because I looked at the ratings, they. Five people, best cinematography, five people nominated, five people came out on stage and then they would talk a little bit about that cinematographer, but they wouldn't show the work that they were talking about enough for you to get an idea of what they actually did. That's right. So how the fuck am I supposed to make a snap judgment about who's supposed to win? Isn't that the fun of the award shows is like, I have no fucking clue what they're talking about. I didn't see the movie. But if you show me 15 seconds of the cinematography work, then maybe I can make a snap judgment and be a Monday morning quarterback. That's what we all like to do. But they didn't give us a chance to do that because somebody yapping about them and I don't care. I want to see the work. If you're going to do best costume, let's see the costumes. Let's not, please. What I don't understand. It was a gimmick. It was a gig. It was a gag. And I. I'm not sure it worked to great effect. That's my personal opinion. But then there were, you know, all the winners came up. They did their little spiel. Kieran Culkin, I thought, gave a great speech. Did you see Kieran Culkin's speech?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so I'm gonna talk to myself.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Kieran Culkin, I read about it, though. It was something to do with his wife and then the baby. They would have another baby if he won the two awards. And it was in an Emmy or.

[Brian Green]

Something, or a SAG or a Golden.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Globe and the Academy Award.

[Brian Green]

They had two kids. They were going to have a third if he won one award. When he won that third award, the third kid Award. She said to him out in the parking lot, because he had always wanted four kids. She said to him, you win an Oscar, and I'll give you the fourth kid. And he said, the fourth kid?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, they've already got three.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So he goes. He goes, ye of little faith. We're getting working on the fourth kid, which I thought was a very cute shout out. It was a. It was a very cute anecdote that he said. And I didn't see the movie that Kieran was in, but I don't care.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've almost watched it a few times, but I haven't.

[Brian Green]

What's that movie? Is it Jesse Eisenberg? What's it called? I Am Mine or you Are Yours?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Something about pain, I think.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay. I'm gonna watch it when I have time. Astrid and I had the best of intentions. The best of intentions to at least watch two of the 50 Love is Blind. No, I don't care about Love is Blind anymore. I'm done with it. I don't give a shit. It's too boring. It's too. This year. It's just too boring. The Midwesterners are not bringing the heat, and I'm not all that interested in it. I understand that there's some drama going on behind the scenes, but it's more interesting to read about it on social media than it is to watch it on the actual show. I know we'll finish it at some point, but I'm just. We. We're just like, okay, we made it. We were going to make an effort to watch at least two of the 50 best motion picture. We're going to watch Anora and we're going to watch Conclave. We're going to watch those two.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I saw Anora and Conclave.

[Brian Green]

We have not gotten to either of them.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, the thing is, I saw the Menorah one, and it was a good movie. It was not, in my opinion, was not a movie like, oh, my God, you know how some years there's those movies that win big, you know, and. Because it's just like, whoa. It's that movie that is, you know, I see why it won. It was so good. Not. That didn't happen for me this year.

[Brian Green]

So many people are like, this movie is life changing. And I'm like, life changing? Really? I saw Amy Schumer, like, doing a shout out to the Anora cast.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

And she was like, this movie was life changing. Life changing in every way. And I'm like, that's a big statement to make about A movie. And I. We've all seen those movies, for us personally, that have changed our lives. Mine is Pink Floyd, the Wall, because I was high on acid. But anyway, so, you know, it's. It. I get it. But is it. Was it really that good? It only made $50 million at the box office.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I thought it was a. It was a good movie, a great movie, but I wasn't like, oh, my God, this is so good, you know.

[Brian Green]

So Mikey Madsen wins for best Actress and she beats out Demi Moore. Yeah, I think Mikey is the safe choice for the Academy. And I think Demi Moore, her movie substance was good. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, I really enjoyed that.

[Brian Green]

Here's my take. And you tell me that substance is in some ways a grotesque and weird movie. It's a weird character that Demi Moore is playing. It's not like a traditional Oscar winning role. It's not a traditional Oscar winning movie, but it was a very good movie and she was very good in it. Yeah, but I think the Academy, who is now a little bit younger in age, right. They've kind of. They changed a number of years ago, they kind of, you know, put out the old and brought in the new. That maybe that particular performance is a hard one to move, like to check the box of. And they go, oh, well, Mikey was really good. And you know that my opinion is, is that Demi Moore's, the role that she played was maybe not like an Oscar type of. It's not a traditional Oscar movie. You know, it's a weird French film about people crawling out of their skin. Isn't that essentially what it is? Isn't it about a substance that she takes?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, yeah, it's. I mean, for me, it was more about like the take on Hollywood or just women in general, like aging and how if you had the opportunity to go back to being like a younger self of you, would you. And so you take this pill, this instance, and then through that, the. There is a younger self that is born out of her body. And so that's the grotesque part. When you see the younger girl coming.

[Brian Green]

Out of her body, coming out of her body. Right. It's like crawling out of her own skin. Right. So, but let me ask you this. Like, you saw Anora and you saw.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Substance. Which one was. The more. Which one was, in your opinion was the better performance?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, the substance was more of like a shocking.

[Brian Green]

You know, I think that's the point I'm making. Right. Like, I don't know that the shock value of the performance outweighs Mikey Playing kind of this vulnerable, edgy, sharp.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, she was really good in that movie.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But it wasn't life changing, I don't think, for me.

[Brian Green]

No, hey, listen. I mean, you know, to each their own. There you go. And Demi Moore. To be Demi Moore for just a moment. And that moment, to be sitting at the Oscars after all these years, 300 years of acting or however long she's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Been doing it all these years, from.

[Brian Green]

Bruce Springsteen videos to the Friends, to being kind of called, like, you know, a bit of a popcorn actress, I would say, like someone who doesn't. Who can't do serious roles. She's just kind of one of these, you know, light on their feet comedic actresses who did Friends. What other performance has Demi Moore done that has gotten such notoriety in such a meaningful way as far as a dramatic actress?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So many things, though.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I know she's been in a lot of stuff.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, not Officer and Gentleman, but it was. You can't handle the truth. But, God, what is that movie? I can't believe it.

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A Few Good Men.

[Brian Green]

Oh, A Few Good Men. Oh, that's Good Men.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She was bad. She was Indecent Proposal. I mean, St. Elmo's Fire, Charlie's Angels. She's been in so many things, it is hard to believe that she's like, never been up for a huge award before.

[Brian Green]

I can't believe she didn't win. She wasn't up for GI Jane.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

GI Jane.

[Brian Green]

Wasn't she up for an award for GI Jane or Striptease or something? Ghost. Ghost.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ghost.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, great movie.

[Brian Green]

I mean, all of these. You know, I get it so much. I get that they think that. I get that it's like popcorn actress. Right. I understand what they're saying when they say that, but she. When you think back on it, she has chewed on a few roles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

That were pretty groundbreaking. Striptease made so much noise when it came out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

No, not Ghost, but GI Jane made so much noise when it came out. Ghost was a huge deal when it came out. Didn't Whippy Goldberg win an Academy Award for that? I think she did. I know she did. I think she won an Academy Award for best supporting actress in that film. So to be her sitting in that seat for just a moment and recognize that the movie that she just made is essentially coming true in real life.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The whole premise of substance is happening right in front of her eyes. The young lady beats out the older woman who has seen her better days in Hollywood and has aged to some degree. And it was just like life imitating art in such a weird way. And I'm sorry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Green]

But I know there's a lot of interpret. There's like a lot of reels going around with Debbie Morris face and Mikey Madsen's called out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

I think she handled it as graciously as possible, but you can tell she was on a roll leading up to this. And then it just. She just didn't get it. It just didn't happen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. I think her daughter posted a post shot of, like, her in a bathrobe with two huge bowls of French fries afterwards. Whatever.

[Brian Green]

Somebody put it so sad that Courtney Cox didn't win an O. Like, that's not Courtney Cox. I get the joke, but it wasn't Courtney Cox. Okay. Quentin Tarantino did. Came out and announced best director. I do have to say that Quentin Tarantino, he's supposed to have a new.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Movie coming out or something.

[Brian Green]

He's always. He's. He's retiring. He's doing one more movie. Well, that's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But the one more has been supposed to come out for a while.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but that's Quentin all the time. He's always saying he's making the next movie, he's writing the next movie. The thing about Quentin is he's got to have his hands in every single bit of the movie, which I think makes those movies uniquely Quentin Tarantino.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

But he's got to write every line. He's got to do everything. He's got to make the lighting himself. He's like that. Not Christopher Nolan. The two of them, they. And James Cameron, they're like super involved directors. But I guess the best directors in the world are the ones that really take control of every single bit of it. And listen, I haven't met a Quentin Tarantino movie that I don't like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

And I got to say that he is just such a cool cat. Like, he comes out on stage and he's talking to people. Is he talking to the crowd? As if it was one person at a bar and you guys were best friends.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You get the sense that Quentin Tarantino is cool in any situation. And I don't care how old the guy is, I think he's always going to be that way. He's just one of those cool cats. He came out. He did Best director.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. It's just him.

[Brian Green]

I just wanted to share that Quentin Tarantino coming on the Oscars made it just a little bit more interesting than it otherwise would be. Morgan Freeman showed up to talk about his friend Gene Hackman, who had just passed away under extraordinarily strange circumstances. Extraordinarily strange circumstances.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess we're gonna find out what happened. But it seems like. And I've talked about it with a couple different people, it seems like maybe. I mean, Gene Hackman was 95 and.

[Brian Green]

In failing health, according to some people.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It seems like maybe he died, and then the wife maybe committed suicide with the pills. And then there happened to be a dog that was in the kennel, and it died, too, of starvation.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's nine days, ten days.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They didn't find him for like, nine or ten. It was mummified.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, that's a long time. So at first it was shocking because you're like, all three of them dead, and it seemed like it had fresh and it just happened. But I think the timeline of events may have been different for all of those things to have happened.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't disagree with you. And when I first read about it, at first I thought, oh, there's something nefarious. Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Of course.

[Brian Green]

Bandits going around Santa Fe, New Mexico, killing people.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Carbon monoxide. People were talking about.

[Brian Green]

Or murder, suicide, or something along those lines. But then when you hear the. At least the description of the scene, it appears one died first and the other one went after because of whatever. Or she died and she was his caretaker, and he fell on the floor and couldn't get up. Right. Something along those lines. I don't really. Obviously, you know, more information to come. But when they talked about the dog dead, I was like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

But the. You know, hey, listen, it is not strange for people, older people, to die with their dogs in the house and they get eaten by the dog.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I know Blue would be the first one to take a bite out of me. I know she would. Okay. That's why I don'. Like Blue, because I know that Blue would turn on me in a heartbeat. She may seem all, you know, small and not. Not very ferocious, but if she didn't have food, that dog wouldn't go three hours and she'd start chewing on my penis. I know it. I just know it. All right. I do have to also share that. You know, I liked the. They did a performance of the Wiz, which I thought was fine. Queen Latifah did a fine job. It was fine. And Ariana Grande and Cynthia and a couple other people in the front row started dancing, but the rest of the Academy didn't Even bother to stand up. And I mean, it's the Wiz. It's like, you know, I don't know. I thought it just showed. Just everybody in the audience is boring too. None of them are standing up and dancing in this extremely soulful, you know, catchy song. Ariana and Cynthia figured it out. Why did everybody else stand up? You don't have to dance. You can just stand up and do a little, you know, head bopping. But they didn't put any other great music in the show. I mean, you had the Bob Dylan biopic that was there. There's so much great music from some of these movies every year. You could have showcased some of this stuff and instead you pick the Wiz. Really? I mean, I know that Quincy Jones was winning an award, but the Wiz was like the only song besides the wicked song that made any kind of impression on me whatsoever. There are only three songs played the entire time. The other one was. The other one was. I think it was another Wiz song. I think they did two whiz songs. Two whiz songs. The Wiz came out in 1971. It's 2025. I get it. I get why you're doing it. I get the through line here. But I think you could have added some pop, some music, something to move the festivities along just a little bit. Because then in the end, the most boring thing that happened the entire night was Adrien Brody's insufferable six minute acceptance speech. Adrian did this 26 years ago when he won for the Pianist. And then he did it again. This time he literally told them to shut the music off while he finished what he had to say. And then he had to say nothing. Not a fucking thing that meant anything. Be good to each other. Ok? That's great, Adrian. We already know that. We get it. He basically made the same speech. 26 years difference and just almost the same length. He beat out everybody else for the longest acceptance speech ever present ever, really ever in the history of the Academy ever. And he only beat himself out for that particular award. He is insufferable. Patting himself on the back and talking about acting is a tough job and it's a fragile profession. I don't disagree. But this is like there's millions of people across the world that are watching you. Like, I don't know, it just came across as very insufficient, like very jerking himself off. And it didn't. I didn't care for it. Adrian's a fine actor. I've seen him in the film and a Lot of stuff. And I like him when he's not.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And I want to watch the Brutalist, but it's three and a half hours long.

[Brian Green]

It's just as long as that fucking acceptance speech, for God's sake.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You really have to block all some serious time.

[Brian Green]

It was so long that Hulu decided to cut off the last 12 minutes of the show because they had a hard out at whatever time it was 10:45, Hulu was live streaming it because ABC, Hulu, Disney, and they cut off the last 12 minutes of the show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Which is basically where you find out best picture. Right?

[Brian Green]

Where you find out best picture. Now, listen, you didn't miss anything. I'm just sharing with you. They didn't miss anything. They could have cut out Adrian's fucking half of his acceptance speech and probably gotten an extra 30 minutes on there, I think went on forever. Anybody who watched it lives knows what I'm talking about. It was insufferable, incoherent, and irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. I. I think we should all be good to each other. I get the message, Adrian, but honestly, enough is enough. 30 seconds. Fine. Move on to the next one and play a song that's been made in the last 50 years. All right, we'll take a break, and I'll stop talking about the Oscars. We'll be back.

[Rachel (voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at chrissy@tcbpodcast. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsor, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

All right. I do also have to just say. I won't. I promise this will be the last thing I say about the Oscars. Where was the star power for the Oscars? No Clooney? No. Brad Pitt? No. Uma Thurman? No. I mean, there were like, all the regular, kind of like, you know, grandfathered in actors and actresses that we usually see all dialed up, you know, sitting there in the front row, none of them there. And I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Maybe Uma Thurman was there. I read the scene.

[Brian Green]

I didn't see Uma Thurman there, but I just noticed. And then I read there was a lack of. Kind of that, you know, typical Hollywood elite, that they're there. Not that. Not that it would have made it any different, but at least you. You know, seeing Clooney all dressed up. Yeah, that's a nice thing. You like to see Clooney dressed up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's a handsome guy. He is a handsome guy.

[Brian Green]

You look at the Oscars and they probably show. If Clooney's there, they're showing him six or seven times during the Oscars. He's got that expressive face where you. Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He didn't really have a movie out.

[Brian Green]

No, Clooney hasn't had a movie in, like, 10 years. Where did Clooney go? What's the last movie he did?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Lake Como. I mean.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Lake Como. That's it. Yeah. I guess when you have a private island in Italy, you don't go many places.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Palatial estate.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. To be Clooney. And all you have to do is those coffee commercials every couple of weeks and you make.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, we also sold their tequila. You know, the tequila.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They don't need anything.

[Brian Green]

What? Why don't we have a tequila brand? Why don't we have something that's, like, of value.

[Toby Shit (news anchor)]

Value?

[Brian Green]

Because the content certainly isn't it. I mean, I'd like it to be, but that's not making us any money. Why don't we start a wine or something?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I would love that.

[Brian Green]

Brian and Chrissy's wine coolers. TCB lights. Tcb bubbles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A wine cooler.

[Brian Green]

A wine cooler. Like a really syrupy blue raspberry wine cooler.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I like that idea.

[Brian Green]

TCB giving you a headache on a Tuesday night. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like, really cheap.

[Brian Green]

Yes. We'll get you drunk and make you feel like junk. Why not? TCB wine coolers for teenagers. Yeah, we'll target. We'll target teenagers for our sale. Yeah, you know, we'll get like a. I don't know, like a cam, like a Joe Camel character going on. So we could target the teenagers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We'll sell them at the vape shop.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think due to Doge deregulations, I think you can now market alcohol and cigarettes to kids. Isn't that true? Yeah, it's got to be. I don't know. Yeah, listen, if we were in the wine cooler business, that's where it's at. We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen, but we're going to do a merch drop and like Aster and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers. Why not wine coolers? Let's drop wine coolers. And then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice. Beet juice and colloidal silver.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I like it.

[Brian Green]

Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover remedy. The drink that gets you sober. The alcoholic drink that gets you sober Brian. TCB Wine coolers. That's good for the kids. Tcv. Wine cooler. Take the kids. Take the keys away. Hey, listen, it works for everybody else. You know, I see that Sam Morrill and his buddy Mark Norman and they have a. They have a whiskey brand. I think it's a whiskey brand. They have a whiskey brand and I see them out there promoting that all the time. And they're at parties and they're at restaurants and they're eating steaks and they're drinking drinks and they're taking promotional pictures. It looks like a ton of fucking fun. Yeah. And while I don't drink all that much. That's not to say I wouldn't just to get become a billionaire, I'd stay drunk for a couple more years. You know what I'm saying? I could deal with my kids if I had a private plane. If I had a private plane. I could drink wine coolers too. On blue in the face. TCB wine coolers. Helps with the May turn your skin blue. Colloidal silver. That's it. Colloidal silver. We're making wine coolers and the flavors are going to be colloidal silver. Homegrown vaccine. We're going to do a bunch of them. It's just going to all be weird conspiracy theory names and we're going to mix all kind of tonics and, and stuff in there because the content is not making us a millionaire for sure. We're far from that. But if we could get some kind of cocktail or Something that we could go sell and then just. We sell it to the bigger liquor distributors. Right. And that how it works.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I feel like I've known a couple people that have tried to break into that.

[Brian Green]

It's so hard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's really hard.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I had a guy that's maybe why the celebrities do it, is because they at least have a name.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Yeah, that's. That's it. You gotta have, like. It's really hard to convince a distributor to put those on shelves. And then it's super hard to convince the people who own the stores to give you shelf space. And if you don't have the shelf space, you're not selling the liquor. Like, it's all. It's. It's really a racket is what it is. But so are cereal aisles, too. It's the same thing. You can't make a new cereal.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And get into Publix. It just doesn't work that way. You have to show them that you can sell. Convince them to, you know, you've watched an episode of Shark Tank. You know how it goes. I get all my information from Shark Tank. Okay. Kevin o'. Leary. But I will share that. I had a friend who started a energy drink business like an energy drink water. And they went around to every mom and pop gas station. We all know the ones, the ones that sell crack pipes. And they have a Bitcoin.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Why Brian 3000?

[Brian Green]

Why Brian 3000? They have a bitcoin machine in the corner. You know, you could buy bitcoin by putting money into the till. We all know those gas stations. And they went around to every gas station in the Southeast trying to get that sold. And they did. They would sell, like, a case at a time or whatever. And they were doing this all out of the back of their truck. And this went on for seven years. They tried to get Coca Cola to buy it. They tried to get Pepsi to buy it. They tried to get, you know, distributors to buy it. They tried to get some kind of help. And no one. And no one would even take a meeting with them. They were like, yeah, get. Get a number. Everybody's got the same idea, and everybody's doing the same fucking thing that you're doing. And by the way, we can just make our own. Why would we buy yours? We can just make our own. We already have all the facilities and everything to do it. It's a really, really. Retail is a really, really tough business to get into. But then soda drinks or energy drinks or Waters, forget about it. That's really tough. But since we are such notable podcasters, I mean, we're like number 106 on the comedy charts. So since we're like number 106 on the comedy charts, I think we could sell a case or two of this blue colloidal silver energy slash COVID vaccine slash drink and I'll get you sober before you get drunk kind of drink. It's a magical drink. It fixes everything and it's endorsed by RFK Jr. That's all I gotta say. What else do you need? Yeah. By the way, not, you know, not gonna talk too much politics here, but you notice that RFK Jr singing a new tune about the measles vaccine? Yeah. He's realiz that under his watch, he doesn't want millions of people to die. So he's like. About that measles vaccine.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Measles thing is scary.

[Brian Green]

That's very scary.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. I started thinking about. I was like, am I updated? I don't remember when I had mine.

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Are you just updated for the rest of your life?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I got one like 10 years ago, I think. I think I got one about a decade ago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

When I turned a certain age, when I turned 20, about a decade ago, I. Yes, I did get an update. I got like, tetanus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I remember getting, like an updated tetanus shot.

[Brian Green]

Tetanus and an MMR shot, I think. Measles, mumps and rubella. Yeah, that's all we need is rubella to come back. What is rubella? And I don't want it to come back.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Measles sounds terrible.

[Brian Green]

Measles is like chickenpox on fire.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It sounds really bad.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You do not want the measles. I think, too brain swells, you get super fevers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And you don't get rid of it.

[Brian Green]

No, it stays with your body the entire time. It's just like the chickenpox virus. It stays in you, dormant, ready to come alive at the next, you know, shitty, stressful period in your life and attack you. It's not a good thing. And, you know, it can morph, it can mutate. And that's why in the last hundred years or whenever they've started the measles vaccine, there have been few if any fatal cases of the measles. And now there have been six in a short period of time. And, you know, I think, listen, people can be wrong, and then they can be right. And you got to applaud them when they're right. Right. And So I do applaud the fact that RFK has come out and said, take the measles vaccine, it does save lives. Yeah, I can applaud that. But I mean the damage is already done. There's like 168 people in Texas that have the fucking measles and most of them are children. And it's like, like some of my kids do not have their full course of vaccinations yet. And I just sharing that I firmly believe in the science and every other doctor that I've talked to has said so. The only people who have cautioned me against vaccines are people who don't wear shoes and smell like a dirty rat. Do you know what I'm saying? They're still looking for their career path at 67 years old and that seems to be following fish in a van. So listen, whatever it is you personally choose to do, do it, that's fine. But also there is this community aspect that is to be considered that if it, if the measles mutates and becomes something we're not vaccinated against, most of us, then it becomes a real shit show. And I think that is the concern now. It's like yay. Yeah, Yay.

[Toby Shit (news anchor)]

Welcome.

[Brian Green]

Round two. We're all going to. Yes, this is idiocracy live. It's happening to us live. It's fucking insane.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of idiocracy, I share a personal story that I, I'm sharing this as a cautionary tale and I will say this before I get started. I am not proud of the way anybody acted here except for the innocent person involved in this. And I, and then I'll share this. The other day I go to pick up one of my kids from school, one of my daughters from school. And this, her school is in a. I don't even want to say that. It's in a building that cannot. That is multi purpose. So it's not just a school. There are other things that are going on there, but it's very small. It's not a big school at all. It's probably 70 kids in the entire school. And this is a. Not a regular school. This is like a preschool. Right. So there is, you know, a decent sized parking lot there. And the parking lot is like every other parking lot you have ever been in in your entire life. Life. And that is two rows on opposite sides of parking spaces. One side. On one side. Behind it is the building. On the other side is a forest, a county forest.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, okay.

[Brian Green]

And walking trails and stuff like that. But that is also very small. So, parking lot. Two rows of parking spots and then a lane for people to drive in. You understand what a parking lot is? I don't need to explain it to you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, thanks for the visual.

[Brian Green]

All right. Right. So I go in this little traffic circle to go pick up my daughter. And then you can either go right into the parking lot, you can go out that way, or you can go left into the parking lot, and you can go that way. Two different streets, two different ways to go. And I like to go left. I could go right, but I like to go left. That's just the way that it is. When I am approaching the traffic circle, I notice that there are cones in the parking space. If I was to take that left, there are cones in those parking spaces. And I can see at the corner of the parking lot near the exit is a tree truck. Someone is cutting down trees. It's got the big, you know, grinder on the back of it. And there are a couple of guys over there with the yellow vests on. And I can see that they're doing some work. Fine, whatever. Okay. I guess they block off the parking spaces so that in case any tree limbs fall, no one gets hurt, or they need the room to navigate. I don't know. I don't care. I don't think much of it. So as I'm. As I pick up my daughter around the traffic circle and the middle of the parking lot, and then I go to the left, I'm driving by the. Where the cones are, and there is a guy that's picking up one of the cones from one of the parking spaces. I've got my windows down. It's a nice day. As I'm driving by him, he whips around, whips the cone at my car and screams obscenely. Now, I'm not. Listen. I'm not throwing stones in a glass house. I do not have the. I am not exactly the picture of vocabulary. I often use cuss words in my daily life, and I don't shy away from doing that around my children either. I think they need to understand how real people talk. I think we were talking about this with Kathleen Madigan, who will be on next week. So he goes, did you not see I'm putting cones here? He's screaming at me. He's got a hard hat on. He's probably 20 something years old, long hair, long beard, you know, screaming at me. Windows are down. Daughter's in the car seat in the back. And I was like, no, I did not. And I Was like, you, right? Because now I'm pissed. He's thrown a cone at the car.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He's screaming obscenities while my daughter is in the back. That's a scary thing, probably for a little kid, but it's also scary for me because I don't know what this guy's intentions are. You know, I see that you have the yellow vest on. I understand that you're upset, but I don't know what about. I don't. I don't see you putting cones anywhere where I'm not supposed to be driving. The lane is clear. That's where I'm going. And so he runs around the car to the side of my car, grabs on the inside of the car and is screaming at me through the window. Y' all fucking see I'm fucking blocking this lane here. Can you fucking see that? And I drove. I just drove. That's what I did. I just said, yep, not even staying here for this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

I am driving. But as I am driving forward, another young guy. They're like twins, right? But long hair, long beard, the whole hard hat, yellow vest, the whole nine yards on jumps from. So now I'm driving toward the exit, and there is a guy there sitting near the truck. And he runs out into the middle of the road and throws his hands up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yes. And now he's screaming at me, there's a fucking tree coming fucking down. The fuck you think you're doing, you fucking asshole? And I'm like, I don't fucking care. That's what I said to him. I don't fucking care. And I drove. And he now, both of them, by the way, now the other guy has run up to the car. So now there's two guys standing there screaming profanities into my window. And I say, I don't care. I'm going home. That's what I said. And I drove and I drove out of the parking lot. There was no tree down. There was. You know, it was. They were feet, you know, 50ft away from anything that I didn't see any work being done in the middle of the road. I wasn't endangering anybody's life, including myself or my daughters. Had. I thought that as embarrassing as it would have been, I would have backed up and gone the other way. But that was not happening. There was no tree. There were no tree limbs. There was no. I don't even. Those guys weren't even working. They were sitting there yelling at me. It's like, what are you doing? So I drove as fast as I could, and I sped out of the parking lot. And as I sped out of the parking lot, I'm like, holy shit. Because I'm sure some of the parents saw that, right? They had to have. It's not that far from where the traffic circle is, number one. Number two, I probably could have reacted a little bit differently. Maybe cooler heads could have prevailed. Maybe I could have said, there were no cones blocking the area. But maybe I could have said, hey, do me a favor, Stand behind my car while I run over you real quick. We'll make sure everything's okay. Second of all, it's not a police officer. You know, it's not like this guy has some measure of control over what happens. And there's clearly no present danger in front of me. So if he was going to put cones in the lane so that people couldn't drive there, he hadn't yet done that. He was in the process, but it didn't look like that to me. It looked like he was picking up cones from the parking spaces, and he didn't need to scream obscenities.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that was uncalled for.

[Brian Green]

You can see my daughter in the backseat because the windows are down. Like, I can see that. I know that you can see them. This and screaming and yelling like a fool is not helping anybody. The guy simply could have put his hand up, right, and just said, hey, bro, listen, there's a tree being cut down there. Can you back up for me right now? I also could have just backed up and turned around, but I. I just felt like mo. I just, in the moment adrenaline took over, screamed at.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was going to say your adrenaline had to have been totally pumping.

[Brian Green]

Well, he threw the cone at the car, too. Like, that's a little much.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's aggressive. Just to start.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's like everybody is so on fucking edge all the time that it's really. It's. It. It really is a scary time to be alive. Right. This guy was so on edge about someone driving past him that he was willing to put people in danger, including himself, in order to get his point across. But what was the point? The point was what? You know, there was no tree down. There was. If you. If you really thought that people were in danger, you should have put the cones on there long before you decided to cut any trees down. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

All right. That's bad coordination, too, on their part.

[Brian Green]

Terrible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean. Mean, it's pickup time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's pickup time. It's pickup time. At school, you know? Yeah, let's not cut down trees. Anyway, I'll talk more about it. Let's take a short break, and then we'll get back.

[Rachel (voice of God)]

Rachel here while Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Oh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCD disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail]. i'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So there's my Tuesday afternoon.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

There's my Tuesday afternoon. Yeah, it was. And then it kind of like it stuck with me for the rest of the course. It did, right? I'm replaying it in my head. My daughter is scared. She didn't, like, say a word the entire ride home. And I was like, listen, honey, this is a little hard to explain, but I drove by those guys asking me to stop because I didn't want to get into any more of an argument with them. And I'm sorry that you had to see that. And even daddy probably could have been a little. A little cooler head. Like, 99% of the time, I'm really not that guy. Like, I don't go around yelling at people. I'm actually quite the opposite if you find me in real life.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I'm just kind of. I'm just kind of. I'm not quiet, but I certainly wouldn't be the guy yelling in the middle of a grocery store or something like that. But, man, it just all happened so quickly. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got nervous that my daughter was in the back. I didn't like the fact that the guys were in my car yelling at me, essentially. And I re. I quickly recognized that they are no state authority that I have to listen to get out of here. Right, right. Get out of here before it escalates and someone says or does something stupid that you can't take back. I mean, whipping a cone in the car is a. It's a pretty, you know, it's a pretty extreme measure to take. It really is over your tree job, you know what I'm saying? Not that tree job isn't cool. It's cool tree job. I know that I've had whatever, tree guys are tree guys, but it just seemed a little hot headed for the moment.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like, yeah, it hit the car.

[Brian Green]

Yes. He whipped it right at the bumper. And I was like, wow. You know what just happened? Anyway, that was my Tuesday afternoon. Chrissy, the world is on fire. Everyone needs to take a breath. Rev down. Rev down. Everybody rev down. Hey, tree guy, if you're listening, I could have handled it better, but you could have also. We all could have handled that a little bit better. And especially around the children.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The second guy came jumping.

[Brian Green]

The second guy came to his defense. He literally popped out of nowhere and he had his hands up with that yellow thing. And I thought for a second, you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really should have locked down that area way before any school pickup was happening, if that was that important.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely. If you're cutting down trees and you're concerned about cars getting hit, don't even allow that lane to be open. Exactly. Close it down. And it wasn't closed. I didn't run over any cones. There was no, like, tape or cones or anything in front of me. I was driving on a clear lane, which anybody would have done because the part that was closed off were the parking spaces, not the lane.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If you needed that lane clear for the work that you're going to do for safety purposes, insurance reasons, whatever, do it like 40 minutes before you intend to cut down any trees, that's the first action you should have taken. But no, you thought whipping cones at cars would be a better way to stop them from. From getting around the danger. I. You don't know. I'm just sharing that with you. So, tree guy, if you're listening, tree company, we all could have handled that better. I think that's clear. Okay, all right, all right, enough. Speaking of, you know, let's all rev down. Casey Anthony is back. Did you see this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I did see this. In the news. As like a educational person. No, a defendant.

[Brian Green]

Wait, she is legal. Legal.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Legal analyst.

[Brian Green]

Legal analyst. Yeah. A legal analyst because you've been encased in the judicial system for years of your life. Listen, Casey Anthony popped on TikTok and I Don't think she's had social media ever. Okay, so, or maybe certainly not since, you know, Kaylee Anthony went missing and then was found dead in the trunk of a car. Her daughter, Casey Anthony comes on Tick Tock and shares that she has been in the legal field, quote unquote, for 20 plus years and that she is going to now be a legal advocate for those that are missing or murdered, young children that are missing or murdered, including her daughter. Hey, here's a little advocacy work on behalf of your daughter. Don't kill her in the first place. Unbelievable. Is Casey Anthony like the last person we really need to come trouncing into this shit show that we already have?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'm being dead serious. Please do not give this lady any air, like any breath of air into her social media. There are going to be lots of people who buy into this bullshit. But I gotta be honest, I, I, when I saw this TikTok like pop up, it was somebody else's reel that they were showing, basically saying the same thing that I'm saying. I was like no way did Casey Anthony just talk to the camera and say she's gonna become a legal advocate for children in trouble. I mean this girl was out partying while her daughter was missing for 31 days until she called 91 1. That's unbe. That's like the worst parent ever. And now she's going to be a legal advocate for kids. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Casey Anthony was like that trial, remember that trial? It was like the O.J. simpson trial of the 2000s.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Everybody had their eyes on that Casey Anthony trial because it was just such a weird thing that happened. Casey Anthony claims that she left her daughter with some nanny, a Mexican lady. She left her with a nanny while she went out partying with her. The guy that she was dating for a couple of days. And then she came back and the nanny said she didn't know where her daughter was. Well, it turns out that she was in the trunk of a car the entire time and then she was buried outside in a plot of land not too far from her parents house. And then her parents were strangely like defending but not defending her. Her dad was, was supposedly may have covered some of this stuff up. I mean the details of the trial are just horrific. And a guy that's having children. I can't understand for the life of me how 31 days passes before you notify the authorities that your daughter is gone. That's insane to me. But that's what happened and why anybody would ever take legal Advice from Casey Anthony is beyond me. It's beyond me, me. Why she would have the audacity to think that anybody would want to accept that advice. I hope this is playing just like it's playing for me. And that is. What a terrible fucking idea. But you know what, Chrissy? There is a dum dum born every second. There are a lot of people on this earth, and most of them are not well. And some people will follow Casey Anthony thinking that she's innocent. Some people may not even know who she is, I'm sure. And she will have her moment in the sunlight. And that's the part that drives me crazy. Just like that. OJ Funkin Simpson. OJ Funkin Simpson. I've watched another documentary on it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, I saw that. There's another documentary. I was like, ah, not, not going there.

[Brian Green]

I am so down the rabbit hole with anything O.J. simpson. And I don't know why. I think because it consumes such a large part of my formative years. Like, it was like two and a half years of all of our lives wrapped up and ensconced in Nothing but the O.J. simpson trial. Right? And just like everybody else on earth at the time, we were all big fans of the Naked Gun and all the movies that he was in. You know, everybody loved O.J. simpson. And then to think for a second that he would essentially brutally murder these two people was a crazy idea at first. Then the slow chase and then all the drama and then the trial and the backdrop of the Rodney King. And it's like, it's a very weird period of time in American history, pop culture, certainly, but that O.J. simpson went twiddling away free as a bird, and he couldn't even keep himself out of trouble for like more than 15 minutes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He got arrested again.

[Brian Green]

Yes. For like, kidnapping. Yeah, he was. He brought a gun to get some of his signed helmets back. I mean, OJ honestly, if I had wanted piece of advice for OJ if I'm a friend of OJ's, it's like, dude, dude, God just kissed you on the forehead. Never even think about jaywalking again. Don't even think about it. Go to the golf course, make new friends, live your life, be a good citizen. Never get in the crosshairs of anything legal again. And yet he tempted fate over and over and over again. He did that. Remember Fox bought that if I Did it documentary. He wrote a book, O.J. ballsy, Ballsy. O.J. wrote a book called if I Did it. And then he wrote how he would do it if he did it, if he murdered his wife and Ron Goldman. And the crazy part was is that it didn't matter because he was acquitted, so no one could say anything to him. And he just pretended like if I had done it, this is how I would do it. And then Fox bought a documentary that had O.J. talking about how he would do it if he did it so that they could put it on air. Fox, a bastion of class and taste. Fox. When I think about class and taste, I think about Fox. That's what I think about. All right, well, listen, we're gonna be back tomorrow. Fear not.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hopefully everything goes okay in the parking lot today.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'm not going back to that parking lot.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, you're done. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I really. I really thought some of the parents might start texting Astrid, because Astrid knows a lot of the parents and be like, what just happened? Why was your husband in the parking lot screeching away? I got so nervous, and Astrid was like, who fucking care? What? No one cares. You know, whatever. It's just a thing. It happened. And I'm like, yeah, but, I don't know. It felt bad to me, right? It felt like an exchange of negative energy in a way that I usually don't navigate in the world. So I got kind of upset about the whole situation.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Understand?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But, you know, what are you gonna do? I apologize to the tree guy for driving around you, so now you can apologize to me for being an. You're probably like that all the time. Yeah, you're probably a jerk off most of the time. No, I'm kidding. I don't know. Probably. 212-4333. TCB212. 433 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. You can text them there, or you can go one step further. Rev down, leave us a message, tell us your crazy story that happened to you today, and then maybe, maybe, just maybe, we'll review that on a future episode. Also, if you would like to be on the commercial break as a guest, you got something interesting to say. You just want to join the show. You want to say hello to us? Text us or call us and leave us a message and let us know, and then someone will get in touch with you if we find you suitable for the show. And by suitable, I mean you are breathing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You can talk and you can breathe, and you got a good cell phone connection. We're gonna start taking listener phone calls. Chrissy, if you don't mind, if that's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay with you, I would love that.

[Brian Green]

What else tcbpodcast.com all the audio, audio, all the video. More information about Chrissy and I. You can also get your free TCB schwag right there on the website. There's a drop down menu says I want my free sticker. If you leave us your physical address, we'll send you something. No must, no fuss. We don't even keep your email addresses. That's how dumb we are at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Tick Tock and all the episodes on video the same day they are here on [e-mail] the commercial break. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I do love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye. Sam, I doing.