
Episode #673: Bryan & Christina sat down with comedian Felipe Esparza before the holidays to chat all things food, fun and Atlanta Jazz Clubs! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Sam
On this episode of the commercial break.
Felipe Esparza
I want to be done on that, on that corner because they had jazz bar, jazz bar, soul food restaurant, Atlanta Punchline, and some Mexican restaurant with a sharpie. And then the daycare.
Sam
And right across the street, they had the strip club Flashers, iconic across the street. Flashers.
Felipe Esparza
Next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Sam
That's my opinion. Hey there, cats and kittens, and best to you. Welcome to the episode. Before the episode that officially starts season number six of the commercial break, here's a history lesson. On March 10, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made the very first phone call to his assistant, Tom Watson. And do you want to know what the first thing ever said was? Speak louder, you dipshit. I can't hear you. And then Watson and Bell went on to figure out how to charge us all a bunch of money to send electrical signals across wires. And when I was born, if you wanted to call a place like England, you'd pick up your physical phone sticking to your kitchen wall, dial 0 and have an actual person help you connect to the phone number across the pond. Then AT&T would charge you $26.56aminute to say three words, wait six minutes, and hear three words back. And if you were lucky, you'd be able to understand each other. But if it was raining or the sun flares were or whatever the fuck, it's likely you'd hear some weird echo fuzzy noises or just generally have a shitty connection. Telephone technology has come a long way. Now I can call Timbuktu and it'll sound like that person sitting right next to me. Why am I giving you this lesson, you ask? Well, here's a TCB history lesson. Early on in the show, I made a decision, for better or for worse, to air everything that came out of the microphones. You see, some podcasters like to cut out the ums and the ahs and the breaths, and they even go so far as to fact check and make sure the things that they are saying are actually true. Not here on the commercial break. When I speak, I'm just as dumb as I sound. So when you hear an episode of the commercial break, there's almost zero editing of the actual content. This is a very long precursor to today's episode with the incredibly talented comedian Felipe Esparza. A couple of weeks before the holidays, Chrissy had to take a day off. So Christina joined me in the studio when I interviewed Felipe. And even though we're using the magic technology of 2024, this episode, at times Sounds like we're making the very first phone call in 1876. We didn't realize any of this until long after Felipe had said goodbye. Then I struggled and strifed in my own brain. I tossed and turned and lost sleep. Not really over whether or not I should even air this episode. But Felipe was hilarious. And the conversation is one of the most wide ranging, weird, and interesting we've ever had with a guest. So today, on the last episode of season number five, I'm making the fearless decision to send out to the world the not so perfect audio of Christina and I talking to Felipe. I promise the substance is worth it. And I'll tell you right now, some of this episode has been edited because parts of the audio were just unlistenable. That's okay. We'll have Felipe back and we'll get it right the second time. Go to Felipe's world.com to check out all things Felipe Esparza. He's a former winner of the last comic standing. He's had roles on the Eric Andre show, Super Store, and as a popular podcast, what's up, fool? And as you'll learn in the show, he's got a new podcast all about history. And it would be a shame if I didn't mention that Felipe is on an immense world tour right now. All right, let's do this. We'll take a short break, and when we get back, Cristina and I sit down with the incomparable, very lovable Felipe Esparza, and we talk about slaughterhouses. That's right. This episode is not for the squeamish. I'll be back with that interview after this.
Christina
Did you know that we have a phone number? Well, we do, and you should call us. Nobody's gonna answer, but you can leave a voicemail for us that we may or may not play on the show. And if that's not the vibe, then just send us a text. Okay? Our number is 212-4333, TCB. So get texting and give us something to talk about, please. We need it. While you're doing that, you can also follow us on Instagram, hecommercial break and on TikTok, CBpodcast. And as always, check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content. Speaking of video, we are also posting full video episodes@YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak so go watch them, please. Anyway, now let's hear from our sponsors and get back to the good stuff.
Sam
And Felipe is here with us now. Hey, Felipe. How Are you.
Felipe Esparza
What's up, fool? How you doing?
Sam
Yeah, listen, I don't have any complaints. Of course I could complain, but no one's going to listen. So I have 13 to 20.
Felipe Esparza
You have.
Sam
You have children. You have a lot of children, don't you? You have four children?
Felipe Esparza
I have three. Three of mine and one with my wife, but I'm not the real father.
Sam
How old are the children?
Felipe Esparza
They're not children or adults? No, I had them when I was in high school.
Sam
Oh, God bless you. You're out of the.
Felipe Esparza
I've been out since they've been born. What you call. What do people say? Nester. I was an empty nester when I was 18. Through. Out of my life.
Sam
Oh, man, I wish I could claim the same. I'm in the middle of it right now. So are the holidays big for you, Felipe? Do you like. Does everybody get together and.
Felipe Esparza
And I were big when I was growing up. When I was growing up as a kid, we always spent holidays with our. With our cousins and our aunts and our grandma. Yeah, we have most of my father's family, they live in Los Angeles, like all of them. I think of all his brothers and sisters migrated to Los Angeles at one time in the late 70s, early 70s, and so all the family we knew as my father's family. So we would go over there and they would kill a pig, man. Kill a goat. Really kill it right in front of us. And in, like. They didn't care about the city code or nothing.
Sam
No, fuck that weird, man.
Felipe Esparza
Like, we would go to a place where they would slaughter animals in Rosemead, California, which is only like 35 minutes. And people just have ranches with livestock, and we would just go there and buy goats. I didn't even know because they were gonna baptize my brother when he was 3. And we didn't know we were a slaughter farm. I'm still affected by it because that's probably why I'm vegan now. We were playing with these three goats. I thought it was a petting zoo because we were kids and we're just like, petting them. And next, you know, these two guys grab our. Our. Our playful goats and they slit their throats right in front of us. Oh. And they run around spraying blood out of their necks, crying, of course. And oh, my God, we ate them the next day.
Sam
Yes. So. So, Felipe, you learned this lesson early. My father was in, like, the commodities trading business, so he would, like, buy 100,000 head of cattle, send them somewhere to be slaughtered, package them Sell them.
Felipe Esparza
Right.
Sam
That's what he did.
Felipe Esparza
And when. Jobs.
Sam
Yeah, really cool job. Killing a bunch.
Felipe Esparza
He's not there when it happened though, so.
Sam
No, but listen, he was there sometimes when it happened. He. We spent three months in Mexico when I was 15 years old. He brought us down to see what he did for a living. And he was there doing business. He took us to a slaughterhouse in Monterey, I think it was. And we saw the cattle alive and then we saw them chopped up. Like, the whole situation, we saw it from beginning to end. And it changed my perception. Food altogether. Because it can't. Not when you actually see that happen. You. It's a whole different animal. Pun intended. Like.
Felipe Esparza
I know.
Sam
Yeah. It's a weird thing, but thank you.
Felipe Esparza
I'm sorry. They killed the cows. Was that little cop router like no country for old man, that they slit their throat or. They shot him.
Sam
Yeah, they would shoot it. They. They would. They would zap them into a little. Into a little lane, and then in that lane there was an automatic, like, shot machine in the shot. They would give them a shot. It would stun them, and then they would hang them up by their back hooves and.
Christina
Oh, my God.
Sam
And I'm not kidding you. I know this is like Merry Christmas, everybody.
Christina
Wasn't expecting to hear about all of this today. I'm sorry, guys.
Sam
Yeah. Okay. A guy would come and they call it stip to stern, and he would just take a machete and he would just slid it down the middle and then everything would fall out and on to the next. And on to the next. Yes.
Felipe Esparza
That the people that actually doing the slaughtering are not the people that could actually put up a sentence and a paragraph together.
Christina
You know, my dad's first job was also a slaughterhouse.
Sam
Really?
Christina
Yeah. But he calls it the abattoir because he's English.
Sam
Well, yeah, they call it the abattoir because he wants the abattoir.
Christina
I was like, what's that? He goes, a slaughterhouse.
Sam
The United Healthcare CEO.
Felipe Esparza
The guy's name, when we went to Rosemary, his name was Albuquerres.
Christina
Oh, wow.
Sam
Maybe that's what he did, you know, clearly.
Felipe Esparza
I asked about the pig because there were no cows where we went. But there was a lot of pigs. And I remember the guy shot the.
Sam
Pig with a gun.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. Right in the forehead. Like, he just. He grabbed them and just shot him. And like they put him upside down and then they. They cut it. And then a bucket. I remember everything falling down. I was like four or five watching. And then they Saved the blood. I remember that I asked my dad why they're saving that part, and my dad said that that's the stuff they could sell to a doctor to make medicine, I guess. Insulin.
Sam
Oh, I didn't know that.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, insulin for diabetes.
Christina
That's crazy.
Sam
Yeah. I mean, listen, you know, if you want, you know, you go to McDonald's, you have a hamburger, you go to your family, you have the Christmas ham, you do that. There is a whole situation that went in to that A through B. And I think when you see it, there's some. There's some intelligence like you. You're imparted with some kind of like universal intelligence about how the world really fucking works.
Christina
A little trauma. Yeah, a little trauma. I think you two need some therapy.
Sam
I got therapy, but I can't get over that slaughterhouse. I just can't get over the slaughter. Are you vegan now?
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. People don't believe me because big and they say, what do you eat? Crops. What do you. Deep fried lettuce. Oh, yeah. Nutter Butters and oils are vegan. So you definitely. You must eat that all day.
Christina
Nutter Butters are vegan?
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, they're peanut butter.
Christina
Well, that's great news.
Sam
I love that. Fantastic. That's one of my favorite. It's a good fucking Nutter Butter. What is your favorite? Nutter Butters are good, man. I got to tell you.
Felipe Esparza
You said good Nutter fucking Butters. I just imagine you with a big cup of milk and stuffing them all in there. Eating with a spoon.
Christina
That's so on brand for you.
Sam
That's right. That is on brand for. Really is only not milk. Half and half. I only drink half.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah.
Christina
Disgusting.
Sam
I know.
Felipe Esparza
You know, you get all the cereals, you crush it up and you eat it like a cereal pudding.
Christina
Yeah. Now we're talking.
Sam
Felipe has video cameras.
Felipe Esparza
He has video that. But that would get like. He would get like those sweet potatoes or the. I guess they're called sweet potatoes, right?
Sam
Yeah.
Felipe Esparza
He'll just cut a piece of aluminum foil and cut up chunks of brown sugar and put in the oven and take it out and eat it. He'll add extra syrup and then he'll eat it like that. Never like that.
Sam
One of my favorite things in the world during the holiday season is like the very Caucasian dish of marshmallows on top of yams. You know what I'm saying? I know about my favorite.
Christina
I've never had it so good, man.
Felipe Esparza
Candied yams. Had that for the first time at my friend's House. And they're. They're Mexican, but they were all born in America, so they got more of the good food. More. More of the American thanksg. He made candied ham, and he made candied yams. And, man, that ham. I know we just talk about the slaughter, but that ham. I don't know how they did it, but every piece tastes like candy.
Sam
It's crazy. Yes. My dad does this too. It's caramelized. They put, like, syrup on. They, like, marinate it in syrup and water. Sugar water. It's so fucking delicious. It is so good. And probably just extraordinarily terrible for you, but it is so delicious. And there's something about candied yams or yams with marshmallows on it. Caramelized marshmallows. That is just one of my favorite things. And I only have it during the holiday season. It's not like I go and I make a sweet potato with marshmallows every day.
Felipe Esparza
I know. You're not. You're not gonna find a street vendor selling that.
Sam
Yes. Now there's an idea. As time as.
Christina
Honestly.
Sam
Yeah.
Christina
Thanksgiving food.
Felipe Esparza
You know, it's funny you say Monterey. I saw a street vendor in Mexico, in Monterrey, and he had. He was selling baked potatoes like that. Yeah.
Christina
I love big.
Felipe Esparza
And he will put that. That leches, that condensed SW milk over them.
Sam
Yes.
Felipe Esparza
And sprinkle marshmallows and just mix it all up.
Sam
Oh, that's delicious. That's good stuff. Do you like tres leches, Trace? So my wife is Venezuelan, right? So, you know, Venezuelan there for the first 22 years of her life, so she's really Venezuelan. And one of the things she imparted on me is tres leches. And it's one of my favorite desserts in the world. It's so good. It's hard not to like tres leches.
Christina
It's absolutely.
Sam
Condensed milk and sponge cake. I mean, who. What else is there in life but trace leches? Is that something you eat? Is that. Is that something that. The.
Felipe Esparza
That.
Sam
That's in Mexican culture?
Felipe Esparza
Yes. The condensed milk, the thread leche, the sweet condensed milk. They put that on everything. But I didn't really start liking it more, so I went to Hawaii and they put in a snow cones.
Christina
Oh, I've never seen that.
Felipe Esparza
Pineapple syrup and then coconut syrup, and then they put the white cream over it. Oh, my God, that's so good.
Christina
That sounds good.
Sam
Delicious. Wow. They are little. They're sorcerers over there.
Christina
I'm putting my eyes up today. I mean, a slaughterhouse A snow cone with sweetened condensed milk. It's a big day.
Sam
You're giving us ideas for lunch this afternoon. I'm going to shave some ice with some tres leches on it. What is in the. In your household? And I know you're vegan, but when your household. What is, like, the one dish you guys cook for the holidays, that's that you just look forward to?
Felipe Esparza
Every year we make tamales. My wife was raised vegan by her. By her family, I think they were.
Sam
That's very forward.
Felipe Esparza
They were. I don't know the name of religion. Third day at Venice, I think.
Sam
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Felipe Esparza
They grew up on all that horrible vegan food from the 80s. Yeah, horrible, man. Like, she, she, she. They used to buy. She told me this. I think it's called Lorna. And they sell. Oh, my God. They sell vegan franks in a can.
Christina
In a can.
Felipe Esparza
In a can. So you open it up and they're like four or three vegan franks in there. And then there's another package that has four vegan chicken nuggets. And then you can just break it apart with your hands. And you make. I guess you could put mayonnaise and make tuna or tuna salad or chicken salad or cut it up. Yeah. You're gonna add a bunch of seasoning to it, though.
Christina
Yeah, yeah. I made a chickpea salad the other day, like the fake tuna salad for my sister. She's vegetarian, and I went in with the garlic powder and the onion powder. I gotta make this taste good or she's gonna kill me, you know?
Felipe Esparza
We found out that the chickpea can. The. The juice that's inside the chickpea, if it hard enough, it'll turn into a meringue. And you could use that as a fake meringue for a meringue pie.
Christina
I've seen people use it in cocktails as well, like on top of a little pisco sour.
Sam
Wow.
Christina
Some good stuff.
Sam
We're learning stuff here in the commercial break because I had no idea. You can take the chickpea juice called aquafaba. Aquafaba. Aquafaba. Sounds fancy.
Christina
Yeah.
Sam
If you put your Aquafaba. Is it meringue? Is it. You put some sugar in it, it becomes sweet.
Felipe Esparza
Because sugar, I gotta whip it. A lot of work.
Sam
God, Felipe, you. Well, I mean, you're vegan. You're vegan, so you have to have, like, a bunch of recipes at your disposal, because it's not like you can just drive through somewhere and grab something. You have to have a Bunch of recipes ready to go. I don't know about Lorna Weenies in a can, but the chicken nuggets don't sound too bad. The weenies in a can.
Felipe Esparza
I know back. I remember also when I was growing up and you know, when you're single, I remember buying Hormel to canned tamales. Oh, the most grossest thing ever, man. It was like a canned Hormel. Hormel chili. But they make tamales too. But you gotta, you gotta really know, you gotta really want them. And you just open the can and there's three or four tamale sticks wrapped in a wax paper. And you gotta microwave it. Yes, bro, yes. It's like one. It comes out, it looks like a real fat mozzarella stick, but it's, it's, it has, it has corn, like a tamale and a sliver of meat inside of it.
Sam
No, just like one little tiny ribbon of me.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, one line.
Sam
You know, this reminds me of something. So one of the things that I used to eat when I was single was taquitos by El Paso. I think they like frozen taquitos, right? Corn and flour. Now listen, shredded beef, chicken, taquitos, I used to go in on these things, microwave them, put some cheese on them.
Felipe Esparza
Little by the half sauce. Did you buy the half gallon guacamole to go with it?
Sam
Listen, I'm not ashamed to say that pre made guacamole, like made the year before is something that I have had in my life. I mean, I don't know what they put in it, but. Okay, so I started realizing something during the pandemic. If you go to Publix and you buy those flour taquitos and then you go to Walmart and you buy the flour taquitos, the difference in quality is incredibly crazy. Really, they are terrible always, right? I mean, they're terrible for you, but they taste good. When you buy them from Publix, when you buy them from Walmart, something's different.
Christina
Such as like an emotional bias you have.
Sam
I don't think it's an emotional bias. I have this theory that the exact same box, let's say that you're on a big, you know, El Paso's in this, the El Paso factory, and they're making these and some get rejected because they look different, they have different quality meat. There's bones in one of them. I don't know what happens. But then they send those to Walmart because the difference in price is like $3 a box. And I'm like, wait, how does Publix get away with. I know Publix is like, you know, the upper, upper crust of society grocery stores, but how did they get away with selling it for $7.99 when you can buy it for 4.99 at Walmart? I thought I was being cautious. Yeah. And what I realized is, no, fuck that they're selling the rejects to Walmart.
Christina
Because that's how they do it. Taquito rejects.
Sam
Taquito. Big Taquito is after us. Big Taquito is us ever.
Felipe Esparza
One time I was like, I was really high and I was eating those tacos, the ones you're talking about, the cheaper ones, with a little cheap gallon of guacamole. And the open one up.
Sam
Don't do that.
Christina
Danger zone.
Felipe Esparza
Yes. I opened one up to see what the meat looked like, and it was just a black round meat patty. Yes.
Christina
Oh, that's giving.
Felipe Esparza
They rolled it in the taco and I was like, oh, I felt like that kid from Christmas Story when he found out that the cold ring was just a commercial.
Christina
Yes. Yeah. I don't know what possessed you to do that.
Felipe Esparza
Like bologna patty, black. And that was the. Just the taco, I guess. You're not supposed to open them, I guess, but I thought it wouldn't be like shredded meat or something. But no, it was just a black.
Sam
Patty, tomatoes and spices. He had his drink your Ovaltine moment when he opened up.
Felipe Esparza
To eat real tacos.
Sam
So, Felipe, you're on. You're. You're on a never ending tour. I saw on your website you've got dates well into 2025. Have you actually. Are you in the middle of the tour right now or.
Felipe Esparza
Yes, I'm in the middle of the tour right now. I just got back last. This week, last week from Dublin and England and Amsterdam. I had a show in Dublin and it was canceled. So I was in Dublin already. So it there for three days and I went to England and I did my big show. And then the next day I did a regular show with British comics.
Christina
Oh, fun.
Sam
So, okay, so this is interesting. So tell me about Dublin. What did you think about Dublin?
Felipe Esparza
Oh, man, it was a real. I learned a lot. I learned a lot of history about Dublin. I found out that they had the revolution in 1916 against the British, and then they had their own civil war against each other in 1921 through 1922. And I went to the prison where they. Where they actually, they killed most of the war prisoners of war. Kellingham Prison.
Sam
Yeah.
Felipe Esparza
Kilmainium. Yeah, Kilimanim. Prison and I went on a boat ride. I went to a Guinness Guinness factory.
Christina
Nice.
Sam
That's what I was going to ask you. Yeah.
Felipe Esparza
And I went there with my, my wife, her brother, his three daughters, my friend and my, my stepson. And they made me a big non alcoholic Guinness. And the foam had my face on it.
Sam
Oh, yeah. Oh, they imprinted your face on it with like the foam pr.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. They take a picture of you when you order it and then they. When you go there, you can watch your, your beer being formed to your face.
Sam
It's incredible.
Felipe Esparza
I can send you a video of it later if you want.
Sam
Yeah, no, please do. I'll text you. I'll get that video. Because I didn't go to the Guinness factory when I went to Dublin. We went during one of the. You'd think it snows in Dublin, right? That's the assumption I think I. That's the assumption I made when we went to Dublin. We learned quickly that snow doesn't happen there very often. But it snowed almost a foot and a half the night we arrived. The entire town shut down. So we weren't able to go to the Guinness Fest factory. But Dublin was lovely. I mean, it was lovely. The people treated us lovely. Everyone was stuck, you know, trucks couldn't get there. We didn't have like food or water at the hotel was scarce and people were. Everyone was like coming together to, to make it a thing. But that Guinness factory is a town.
Felipe Esparza
It looks like a town like Hershey, Pennsylvania Big.
Sam
Yes, exactly. You're right about that. Big walls. And then inside of the. I think that people live there. I think some people live inside of the Guinness factory or like the management or something like that. Why did the, why did the show get canceled? Canceled?
Felipe Esparza
Oh, well, we didn't sell enough tickets.
Sam
Oh, that's a reason. Yeah, we know about that. That's a reason. Yeah. And. But then you did a big show in, in England.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, I did a bigger show in England, the last third theater.
Sam
Okay.
Felipe Esparza
It was like 200 people. And then the next day I did a small show at a regular comedy club.
Sam
Like at a. Just like a regular. When you go over to Europe or is this your first time taking a leg in Europe or have you done this before?
Felipe Esparza
My first time doing a leg in Europe. Most I've been there before, but just to do a one nighter in Rotterdam, Netherlands.
Sam
Sure.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. But the crowd at my show were all like, mostly like European Latinos.
Sam
Yeah.
Felipe Esparza
Or expats that left Mexico, they left Venezuela to live in England, sure. But there were a lot of people from Los Angeles or people who moved from Los Angeles to live in England. They all came to my show.
Christina
Show, yeah, that's really.
Felipe Esparza
The next show was all British people. Like all British people. I had to change words around for.
Sam
That show because they don't, they weren't going to understand.
Felipe Esparza
No, in America we have child support and I would talk about child support, but in England it's called child maintenance.
Sam
Oh, child maintenance.
Christina
I'm with you.
Sam
That sounds like a more appropriate word because that's what you do with children. You maintain them. There's no supporting them. You just maintain them. Make sure that they stay alive, live when. But that's, that's got to be exciting to you that you now can go over there and do a leg over in, in Europe. That's a, that must be an exciting part of the career when you can go over there and sustain a couple shows and have some, have some people come out. And there are quite a few expats in Venezuelans, you know, in Spain and England and, and, and stuff like that. They moved. They're moving out of the somewhere.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, yeah, man. They were. Some of them were from actually East Los Angeles. I met a Colombian guy in Dublin, actually. No, Dublin, no. I met a Colombian guy at my show. He was there by himself and he had a lot of weed he was smoking right outside the theater. He didn't care. And I talked to him. How did you make it out here? He goes, my wife, she's in the, she's in the British Navy. And I get over here on her dime.
Christina
Wow, nice.
Felipe Esparza
Full benefits. He's probably gonna be a British citizen already. And his wife, she's a navy officer somewhere and he's enjoying stand up comedy.
Sam
He's enjoying stand up comedy. Smoking weed. I'll tell you, his wife must. His wife. His wife must be probably. They don't give a shit over there.
Felipe Esparza
Actually.
Christina
He's living the life.
Sam
Yeah. A lot of people smoke weed over there. It doesn't seem to be like that big of an issue to me. Actually. When I went over there, I noticed a lot of.
Christina
Never really thought about it.
Sam
The smell of weed was in the air. Kind of like how it was in Atlanta. Yeah. If you've been to Atlanta a bunch, I'm sure. Right.
Felipe Esparza
You know when you said people in Dublin were nice. They are very nice. When we're on a train and there was a, there was a sign on a train and instead I'll report anybody that's being rude and not friendly.
Sam
Yes.
Christina
That's cute.
Felipe Esparza
So somebody doesn't say hello. You gotta report them. You know what if. Anybody listening? If you go to Dublin, Ireland, you're not allowed inside pubs wearing tracksuits. Oh, I was wearing a full Adidas tracksuit with Adidas shoes. And I. And I try to get in. They stopped me at the door, mate. They said, no tracksuits. And I said, wait a minute. Okay. I can see it a lot. Soccer games. People wear tracksuits. Suits with colors of their teams, you know, or they might be a drug dealer or anybody who looks. You watch a European movie. All the drug dealers who are tracksuits.
Sam
Yeah, that's true.
Felipe Esparza
So I have to stand outside at the. We went to the famous bar, the Temple Bar.
Sam
Oh, yeah, the Temple Bar, sure. Yeah, yeah. And so they didn't let you into the tracksuit. But I do think you're right about this. I think that they have notoriously had issues when teams clash. Soccer teams clash. You know, that's the thing they get all upset about over there when the team loses or wins and they've had riots and people have died.
Christina
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sam
There's been whole wars fought over.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah.
Sam
Local soccer teams.
Felipe Esparza
I went to a soccer game in England. I was. Crystal palace versus Newcastle.
Sam
Oh, really?
Felipe Esparza
I was in South London. That's where the. The stadium is. I was sitting with Crystal Palace. I think that's where they shoot that. That show Ted Lasso.
Sam
Oh, is it? Yeah, I think they do. I think you're right about that.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. And, man, it was different from watching the NFL or a baseball game. It was fast. And you know what? They don't. They don't allow. They don't allow you to take your beer into the stands.
Sam
Oh, is that because you'll throw it.
Felipe Esparza
The people go crazy. People are crazy sober already. So during halftime, they. Everybody goes to the beer. They start chugging beers, man. And no, they don't sell, like, nachos, man. They sell mince pie.
Christina
Oh, I love a men's pie.
Sam
She's from Scott. She's from Scotland.
Felipe Esparza
I tore it up. It was delicious.
Sam
Was it really good?
Felipe Esparza
It was mad. It was like dark black meat. And they give you this sauce. I think that's the meat they put in the taquitos over here.
Christina
They have really good vegan options in the uk.
Felipe Esparza
Yes, a lot of vegan options.
Christina
Such good vegan options.
Felipe Esparza
I went to a steakhouse in Dublin and they had, like, ch. Bone steaks, like those big chuck steak. They have pieces of the cow outside yeah, yeah, yeah. And they actually had a vegan steak. They had a steak made out of a mushroom, a line main mushroom. So it was like red, this fat and they made it look like. My wife said it tastes like steak because she never had steak before. So she has nothing to compare it with. So I guess it tastes like steak if you forgot what taste what steak tastes like.
Sam
Yeah, yeah. But lion's main mushroom, some of those, some of those mushrooms you can, they do have like a steaky.
Christina
Umami.
Sam
Some might say umami. That's right. They've got the special. When you went to that soccer game, like it's a different atmosphere over there.
Felipe Esparza
Like rowdy, man. I see any women besides my wife and my sister in law.
Sam
It's dangerous. They get crazy over there.
Felipe Esparza
It's crazy man, that like I don't know the parking, like I don't know the, the parking situation man, over there. But it seemed like everybody took a bus and they were screaming in the bus and they were singing their, their anthem, Crystal Palace.
Sam
That's the one thing that I love about. I mean there's a lot of things I love about Europe, but one of the things I love about Europe and I think they've gotten so right and I know that they have history on their side, but they don't rely on a vehicle for everything. You can literally get a bus to anywhere. The villages are small, they're walkable. And if the bus says it's going to be there at 8:01 and 30 fucking seconds, it will be there at 801 and 30 fucking seconds. Here in Atlanta, the martyr says it's going to be there at 8:01. You don't know if it's a.m. or p.m. you have no clue what time it's going to be there. And that's just. We just don't have great transportation here.
Felipe Esparza
I know, man. Would it hurt the bus companies anywhere in America to put a leave of sinuses run about them? Doesn't run on Sunday. Just tell us.
Christina
Yeah, just let us know exactly. That's all we're asking. A little heads up.
Sam
You're so right about this. Yeah, no, it's. It's big bus. Big bus and big taquitos. They're after us.
Felipe Esparza
Big taquito In Atlanta. I went to a restaurant called Blacksican.
Sam
Blacksican?
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. It's. It's a black Mexican restaurant. It's like Mexican soul food. Food.
Christina
Was it good?
Sam
Was it good?
Felipe Esparza
It was good.
Sam
Oh wow. Was it down.
Christina
Catch me there next weekend and they.
Felipe Esparza
Had like, I think all the other regular beef, like the barbecue beef. It was made into a quesadilla. Like you can have like, like, I don't know, Black Eyed peas.
Sam
Wow.
Christina
That's my kind of Mexican.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. And blacks again. He used to have a. He used to have a. Four trucks and a restaurant, but now he has a restaurant and maybe two trucks.
Sam
Oh, this does sound like something that happens in Atlanta. Blacks again, because we're so multicultural in this city. And I see how that's a thing. There's a lot of Mexican folks that live here, people who lived in Mexico or from that descent. And they're. And we have a lot of black folks. That's why I love Atlanta. We're such a great hodgepodge of human beings.
Felipe Esparza
I know, man.
Sam
That happens in Atlanta.
Felipe Esparza
I eat a lot of vegan food over there at overpriced, slowly vegan cafe.
Christina
Slutty vegan.
Sam
Yeah.
Felipe Esparza
Our essays are for dollar signs.
Christina
Yeah. I mean, it's good, but it's.
Sam
But it's very expensive. Yeah. You know, that's, there's also the Sunflower Cafe, I think is another one.
Felipe Esparza
I love that place. I went to that place. It's by, by the Yodelan Punchline, right?
Sam
That's right. Yep. It's down there in, In Buckhead, I think. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. How often do you come to Atlanta?
Felipe Esparza
I used to go there every year to Atlanta Punchline. That the original one. But now they moved to Buckhead at that diner when it was at the original one. OMG, right next door they had a 24 hour daycare. Yeah, man. So you could be at the club, man, and then drop out your, your, your, your, your chick's baby at that place and then go handle business.
Christina
This, that, that's. That's so Atlanta.
Sam
That is so Atlanta.
Christina
I love that for us.
Felipe Esparza
I want to put out on that, on that corner because they had jazz bar, Chaz Bar, soul food restaurant, Atlanta Punchline and some Mexican restaurant with a Sharpie and then the daycare.
Sam
And right across the street they had the strip club Flashers.
Christina
Iconic across the street.
Sam
Flashers. You know, Felipe, when I was a young guy, that Punchline corner, corner was the place to go if you had drugs or you wanted them. That was one of the two reasons you would go to that corner. Let's be honest about it. A jazz bar in Atlanta does not survive without a little cocaine pushing it along. And those jazz bars were the place you didn't even have to know anybody. You just walked in and you knew. You could see the guy at the corner of the bar. You knew what he was doing. But all of a sudden you're into jazz. If you do a little toot, you're into jazz. All of a sudden I'm a jazz musician. I'm a jazz band.
Felipe Esparza
I only went there for the toots.
Sam
I ain't talking about the trumpet. I was, I was there having some fun. It was that little corner though, right? There was rowdy punchline Jazz bar. I forgot what that Jazz by New Orleans Jazz bar or something like that. But it was. That was a. That was a quite the scene. You wouldn't.
Felipe Esparza
Oh, man. And I went to. I did a show there with. For American Insurance. I'm pretty sure it's big. American Family Insurance Insurance. And I did a show in Atlanta because American Family Insurance, they like to put up a big stand up show every year and they put all the stand up in their website. So when people go to the insurance company or they're filling out forms, they could watch Bill Bellamy do stand up. Right? So we went there and I didn't know that Atlanta was a lot of gay people. People.
Sam
Huge. Huge.
Felipe Esparza
Because we weren't. Because we got there at the hotel room, it was nothing but man, like I tripped over a dick. But there was no, there was no. There was no women. But we got invited to an after hour at this club, bro, that was the most expensive club ever, man. It was called the Post or the Vote or the. Or the. Or the. Or the Compound. I don't know what the code.
Sam
Compound? Yes.
Felipe Esparza
It's in an old vacant car lot. They used to be a car lot. Fifteen hundred dollars.
Sam
Fifteen hundred dollars for a bottle service? Oh, you got bottle service?
Felipe Esparza
I didn't get it. Tony Rock got it. But there was a big line to get in and everybody that was. Or they were ordered, they were making you get bottle service when you came in. And I saw Tony Rock walking with two bottles because he wasn't sharing. And I.
Christina
And then like neither at that price.
Felipe Esparza
It was a big line for vip, which is real long. And then the general admission was just as long. But if you wanted to service right away, they just let you ride in.
Sam
That's it.
Felipe Esparza
And I saw a police officer. He let the guy, the Atlanta, the Atlanta police officer, he was the size of a regular linebacker in the NFL and he was fighting. He got into a argument with another person that was like a regular size defenseman from an NFL and they were both yelling. And man, that cop, he took out that Extended.
Sam
Oh, yeah, the baton.
Felipe Esparza
The extended metal baton. And I saw him. I saw him from the. From the hotel van we're about to park, and I saw him take it out and started beating that guy in the right places, you know, like a real cop. If he wants to really beat you up, he'll hit you on the elbows, the wrist, fingers, kneecaps, and the ankles. And that way nobody will see it, you know, that was just a regular beating. Like, I'm gonna let you get off. I'll let you off easy on this one, because he wants to murder you. He'll hit you in face, the eyeballs. So this guy got hit in the elbows, both elbows, so he couldn't. He couldn't swing no more. And then he took one to the. He took one to the kneecap, and he got down and he took one to the shoulder. And then he didn't arrest him.
Sam
No.
Christina
Honestly, it's like you've lived here.
Sam
Yeah, it's like. It's like, you know, you've had all.
Christina
Of the Atlanta experiences.
Sam
Yeah. Is not to be trifled with.
Felipe Esparza
Mess around, man. Like when they say, like, it's a. The good old boys. It's a good old boys.
Sam
It's the good old boys. And. And in Atlanta, the police up. I mean, listen, the police officers got hard work to do. Right. I. I agree with that. But they ain't around. You don't.
Felipe Esparza
They around, man.
Sam
Don't play games with the apd Atlanta pd.
Felipe Esparza
Not just like lapd, where some guy woke up and saw chips or TJ Hooker wanted to be a cop. Alana PD is someone who's already mad because he didn't make it to the NFL.
Sam
Yes.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah.
Sam
Right about that.
Felipe Esparza
And he's too smart to be a regular bouncer somewhere. Yeah.
Christina
But too dumb to be anything else besides a cop.
Sam
He played. He was a star linebacker in high school, but he just couldn't make it past college. But, you know, and he put. So he's putting his big prowess to. To work and, you know, comp. Compound, which you don't know because you're a little too young for that. But compound was a huge deal, and he's so right about this. It was really well known that mainly tourists and people who had just had a lot of expendable money, mainly, you know, rich old white guys would go in there and they would force you. If you wanted to get in the door, you're gonna have to pay. Not just a cover charge of 50 or 75 bucks, but you're gonna have to buy a bottle. That's the way you get in the door. And then once you got into compound, if you knew somebody, somebody had a table. Once you got into compound, half the time the place was half empty. And they kept it that way. They kept people outside to make it look like there was a bunch of people waiting to get in. And they would just sell you thousand dollar bottles. It was fucking insane.
Christina
How strange.
Sam
But you know, that's the club business in general. I think a lot of times that's the way it works. You got to make your money somehow, right?
Felipe Esparza
So, yeah, you gotta be a ludicrous to be in there.
Sam
Yeah, yeah, that's true. I know. I went there twice, I think. Once for a bachelor party. I was not paying, but somebody else paid and it was a lot of money. And then the second time, we actually had an office across the street. And the people who. So like the head bartender, he gave us a pass that we could go in and whatever. But I only went once. Even though I could get in, I only went once because I only found it interesting once. All right. Felipe is on tour from now. When are you. How many dates are you doing on your new tour?
Felipe Esparza
Like 50. We're gone every. Every week.
Sam
Damn, you like the trout.
Felipe Esparza
I love to travel, man. I come a family of seven kids. I couldn't get away to get away from them. Like whenever, whenever, like whenever my family would go on a trip and they would say, who wants to stay? I look at the hands. Okay, I'll stay alone. I'll stay home alone.
Christina
You're like perfect. My plot.
Sam
I grew up in a big family too. And I feel that. I think the people who grow up in big families are the people who end up needing people other a lot of alone time. Because you just grew up in all that chaos. It's like for five seconds. Can I get some peace and quiet?
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, yeah. Can I sit alone on the couch?
Sam
Yeah, yeah.
Christina
Nothing like it.
Sam
My dad used to say, sit and ponder your navel. That's what I'd like to do.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah. That's why I do a bit about how I said home alone only works with a real rich white family. That movie. Because if you're rich, you're never alone alone. Because even, even, even if you're left alone, you're gonna. Grandma will be sleeping somewhere. You gotta take care of her now. And the whole movie will be you trying to kill grandma.
Christina
That's the truth.
Sam
Felipe is on tour. You can buy tickets now at Ticketmaster or the website. What's the website address. Felipe.
Felipe Esparza
Felipe World.com.
Sam
Okay. And we'll put that link right in the show notes below. We'll also put a link to Ticketmaster to buy those tickets directly. Lots of cities probably coming to one near you. When you come to Atlanta. Atlanta, we would love to see you, Felipe. We'll come and say hello. Send us the video with the foam. I'd love to see.
Felipe Esparza
Yeah, well, I'll send it to you.
Sam
Okay. I'll. I'll send you an email and you can respond to it. Felipe, such a pleasure. Oh, also, bad decisions on Netflix if you want to go see some of this work. It's a great special. I watched it last night. Congratulations on all the sex success, Felipe. And we. Please come back and visit us. We'd love that.
Felipe Esparza
Thanks for having me, man. I'll take you to blacks again.
Sam
Yes. If you come to Atlanta, I'll take you to black.
Felipe Esparza
Thank you, man. This was fun.
Sam
Yeah. Blacksican and compound.
Felipe Esparza
It's a night massacre and massacre animals and then the compound.
Sam
Yes. Thank you, Felipe. We appreciate it. Happy holidays, brother.
Felipe Esparza
Happy holidays. Happy Kwanzaa.
Sam
Yeah. Merry Christmas.
Felipe Esparza
Thank you. That was fun.
Christina
I have a wild idea. Go to our Instagram and follow us hecommercial break and then go to our TikTok and follow us at there@tcb podcast and then go to our YouTube YouTube.com the commercial break and follow us there. And then text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell us that you followed us on all of those other places. And then go to our website, tcbpodcast.com and browse, I guess. Well, those are all the ideas I have for today. So see you tomorrow.
Sam
And if you made it this far, I am super proud of you. Super proud of you. No fault of Felipe's. That audio was at times pretty rocky. And I swear to God, we pay for like the best interview interface software supposedly ever in the world. And it just fails us miserably sometimes. But that's okay. Technology has never been our strong suit here at the commercial break anyway. All right. All of Felipe's is available@felipeworld.com Tickets to his tour, links to his specials, his social media, his podcast, and his ever growing library of YouTube videos. The guy is prolific and he's fucking hilarious. He is a favorite here at this household and I think once you get turned on to him, you'll figure out why. Also, I am going to post on social media that video of his face actually being put on a pint of Guinness. You won't believe it. The things they're doing with technology these days. Yet I can't make a phone call to Felipe without hearing myself in triplicate. You think I'm fussy about this situation? You think? Anywho, I want to thank very much Christina for joining me in studio to tackle this one with Felipe, Chrissy and I. With Christina back in studio tomorrow, you will hear from us as we start season number six, the fifth year of the commercial break. 256,000 hours of this dumb show with zero end in sight. And while we're talking talking about this dumb show, do us a couple of favors. First, follow us on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free on the Odyssey app. That's our home network. And if you don't have the Odyssey app, you should get it because it's really cool. Give us a couple stars and a review if you're so inclined. But more importantly, just download the show when a new episode comes out. Also, please do us a favor, use our sponsors special URLs and codes when I give them to you on the commercials. That lets the sponsors know we're doing our job. They put a little jingle jangle in our pocket. We keep making episodes. You smile. That's how it goes at the commercial break on the ever growing Instagram TCB podcast on TikTok. And now every single episode is available on YouTube.com the commercial break. That's right, you have to check out the new studio. Chrissy and I in 4k chrissy Christina in 2k because it can't afford to give her a good camera and the blue cam which will occasionally show blue barking at us. Also, if you don't mind, call us, text us, send us a message and we promise to respond. 212-433-3822 212-4333 tcb plus get your free tcb schwag. We won't ask for anything in return. Just go to tcbpodcast.com hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we promise we'll send it to you before season 10 starts. Also you can find all the audio and the video right there on the website. So if you're just a browser kind of person, if you like to browse, if you don't want to go to any of the applications, you just want to browse shit, Safari, Chrome, Yahoo, if you're nasty, then go to tcbpodcast.com no muss, no fuss, no worries, no furries will take care of you there also. All right, you'll hear from us Tomorrow on the 675th episode of the commercial break for the start season number six. Until then, I must tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you and I will say I do say and I must say goodbye. Sake a dick and keep on again, Sam.
Hosts: Bryan Green ("Sam") & Christina (filling in for Krissy)
Guest: Felipe Esparza (Comedian; Last Comic Standing Winner; Podcaster)
This episode of The Commercial Break features an improv-style, off-the-rails interview with comedian Felipe Esparza. The conversation meanders through topics ranging from traumatic childhood slaughterhouse memories, family, veganism, strange comfort foods, comedic touring in Europe, and wild nights in Atlanta. The tone is self-aware, irreverent, and honest, showcasing TCB’s signature chaotic humor with candid moments from Felipe’s life on and off stage. Despite technical audio issues, the hosts promise listeners a hilarious deep-dive into Felipe’s world.
Felipe has three biological kids and a stepchild.
He jokes about being an “empty nester” at age 18 due to having his children young.
“I was an empty nester when I was 18.”
— Felipe Esparza ([05:24])
The holidays were intense family events with the extended family in LA, especially his dad’s side, who all emigrated in the '70s.
Vivid, darkly comic memories of family “celebrations” involving animal slaughter — typical in his upbringing:
"We were playing with these three goats... Next thing you know, they slit their throats right in front of us... Of course, we ate them the next day."
— Felipe Esparza ([06:27]–[07:10])
The hosts share their own family slaughterhouse experiences, reflecting on how these moments permanently altered their perceptions of food and trauma.
Felipe jokes about stereotypical vegan diets, delighting the hosts by confirming that Nutter Butters are vegan.
"People don't believe me because [I'm] big... They say, what do you eat? Crops? Deep-fried lettuce?"
— Felipe Esparza ([10:35])
Fun digression debating favorite snacks and food “hacks” (e.g., eating cookies with milk & cereal, candied yams, tres leches).
"One of my favorite things in the world during the holiday season is like the very Caucasian dish of marshmallows on top of yams."
— Sam ([11:54])
"They used to buy... vegan franks in a can. You open it up and they're like four or three vegan franks in there... It's like, you gotta really want them."
— Felipe Esparza ([15:13])
The group shares nostalgia for terrible bachelor foods (Hormel canned tamales, frozen taquitos).
A riff about lower-quality “reject” food brands sold at Walmart:
"I have this theory... They send those to Walmart because the difference in price is like $3 a box... they're selling the rejects to Walmart."
— Sam ([18:36])
Felipe once dissected a cheap taquito only to find a “black round meat patty.”
"It was just a black round meat patty... I felt like that kid from Christmas Story when he found out the code ring was just a commercial."
— Felipe Esparza ([19:46])
Felipe is currently on an “immense world tour,” recently performing in Dublin (where a show was canceled due to low ticket sales) and England.
Shares humorous travel tales, including:
"And the foam had my face on it."
— Felipe Esparza ([21:56])
Discusses the expat/Latino audiences in Europe vs. all-British crowds; adjustments made for language (e.g., "child support" vs "child maintenance" in UK).
Dubliners’ friendliness, posters encouraging reporting rudeness.
Reveals pubs ban visitors in tracksuits for soccer hooliganism reasons.
"I was wearing a full Adidas tracksuit... They stopped me at the door, mate. They said, 'No tracksuits.'"
— Felipe Esparza ([26:16])
Felipe attended a Crystal Palace vs. Newcastle game; surprised at differences:
"People are crazy sober already... They don't sell, like, nachos, man. They sell mince pie."
— Felipe Esparza ([28:03])
Notes UK’s abundant vegan options, including vegan steak made from lion’s mane mushroom.
Felipe shares Atlanta food adventures:
Hilarious nostalgia for the “Punchline” comedy club’s original location:
"You could be at the club, man, and then drop off your chick's baby at that place and then go handle business."
— Felipe Esparza ([32:50])
Felipe recounts corporate gig for American Family Insurance, unexpected culture shocks:
"I saw him take [the baton] out and started beating that guy in the right places, you know, like a real cop... That was just a regular beating. Like, I'm gonna let you get off easy on this one."
— Felipe Esparza ([36:35])
Felipe is doing 50+ tour dates, enjoys the travel and alone time as one of many siblings.
"If you're rich, you're never alone alone... even if you're left alone, grandma will be sleeping somewhere. You gotta take care of her. The whole movie will be you trying to kill grandma."
— Felipe Esparza ([40:36])
Veganism Origins:
“That's probably why I'm vegan now... They slit their throats right in front of us…”
— Felipe Esparza ([06:27])
About Atlanta's food and nightlife scene:
“I want to put [a statue] on that corner because they had jazz bar, soul food restaurant, Atlanta Punchline, and some Mexican restaurant… and then the daycare.”
— Felipe Esparza ([33:19])
On European soccer games:
"People go crazy. People are crazy sober already!"
— Felipe Esparza ([28:05])
On bad frozen foods:
“I opened one up to see what the meat looked like, and it was just a black round meat patty.”
— Felipe Esparza ([19:39])
On touring and family:
"I come from a family of seven kids. I couldn't wait to get away."
— Felipe Esparza ([39:51])
Loose, chaotic, and hilariously self-aware. There’s dark but funny nostalgia about food and family trauma, satisfying food porn tangents, and knowing, loving jabs at Atlanta and UK culture. Felipe is as disarmingly honest as ever, while the hosts riff and react with their own semi-baked, irreverent banter.
Listen for a whirlwind of bizarre nostalgia, darkly funny food talk, culture shocks abroad, and unfiltered stories only possible with Felipe Esparza and the Commercial Break crew.
"Thanks for having me, man. I'll take you to Blacksican." — Felipe Esparza ([41:37])