Kristen Joy Hoadley (2:03)

Did you wash your shins?

Brian Green (2:04)

Did you wash your shins today? Let me smell those shins. You know, sometimes parents will be like, yes, let me smell your armpits. Yeah, let me smell your breath. That's my favorite one. My kids like to brush their teeth by sticking the toothbrush in the mouth, eating the fluoride filled toothpaste and then going, daddy, I need my toothpaste. Like, no, no, you gotta brush. Putting it in your mouth does not count as brushing. Brushing teeth is the worst. It's the worst because they just don't want to do it. I can't blame them. I was a kid. I didn't want to do it either, and I didn't do it. And that's why I got to get teeth pulled out of my head. I really started paying attention to my dental hygiene about my mid-20s, which is terrible. I mean, just terrible. But I have a sincere fear of dentistry, Like, a sincere legit fear of dentistry. For good reasons. But anyway, people. People responding about the leg washing. Lots of people are on the leg washing side. Lots of people are saying, let it roll, Let it flow. Let it go downwards. You know, just let it shuff off your body all the dead skin and icky poopies that may get all over your. All over your legs. I say, you know, once, twice, three times a week. If you're like an everyday shower, go three times a week on the. On the leg washing. And then. Then you're splitting the hairs right down the middle. And that makes me happy to know that our audience has clean legs. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy? That makes me happy to know you have clean legs. But did you wash your ass is the question.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (3:20)

I did.

Brian Green (3:20)

You did.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (3:21)

I washed everywhere.

Brian Green (3:22)

Okay.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (3:22)

Today. Yeah. And then everywhere. Oh, I was thinking about it too. You know, women that do shave their legs.

Brian Green (3:31)

Yeah. That's.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (3:33)

There's a washing.

Brian Green (3:34)

There's a washing component to that. You're stripping the top layer of skin off.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (3:37)

Yeah.

Brian Green (3:37)

With the racer. So it's kind of like a wash, you know, hey, listen, if you wash your legs, congratulations. If you don't wash your legs, I'm not gonna hate you because I, too, am not an every shower leg washer. That's just not what I do. But, hey, that's not important because guess what? Today on the TCB infomercial, I'm super. And we'll ask Rachel this. I'm super excited to have Rachel Feinstein.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (3:59)

Yes. I love her.

Brian Green (4:01)

Yeah, she's great. And she's a prolific comic and she's Comedy Central specials all over the place. Lots of YouTube videos to go watch. Rachel Feinstein, Instagram's underscore. Yeah, On Instagram. Yeah. I want to ask her about this one particular reel because. And here's why I want to ask her. So there's a reel, and I'll explain it just a little bit. So you preface it when I ask her about it, I, I think it's pinned to like the top of her Instagram reels section, I guess was what you listen to me, I'm like a 80 year old man section. Your real section. The reals divider she gets engaged with. She's doing a little crowd work with an audience member who is also shown in the video. It's a lady who's got like an ass caught on a couple different scarves, one of those French hats. But the lady is probably in her late 70s, I'm gonna guess, a very dramatic makeup on, like big eyeshadow and all this other stuff. And she just looks like a typical mean old white lady. That's what she looks like. And she is throwing darts with her eyes to Rachel. And Rachel stops the show to talk to her, to engage with her. Why are you looking at me like I'm a right? And it's this funny interchange that goes on where the lady says nothing. But Rachel's having a whole commentary running in her. Running, I guess not in her head out loud about what she thinks the lady would be saying to her, you know, and it's.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (5:18)

She talking.

Brian Green (5:18)

Yeah, yeah. And so many of the. So anyway. And then the lady flicks her off. She gives her the double middle finger and. Not what you would expect of a lady that looks like this. An old white lady who looks like a crazy cat lady. Not what you would expect. But Rachel rolls with the punches and she does. It's very fucking funny. I watched it probably four times. I watched it. But the comments section, so many people say it's a plant. That's a plant. That lady is not real. There's no way she can be at the, you know, blah, blah, blah. So many people hate not hating, but questioning whether or not it was a true exchange, a true exchange, or if it's a plan. So I'm curious to ask and get the load.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (5:54)

Let's go straight to the source.

Brian Green (5:55)

Sometimes it's hard not to believe. Like, I've been to comedy shows where the exchanges are just too shiny, right. It feels like a plant. But I guess it's just comedy gold happening in the moment. Because my belief is it's probably not a plant. Like, why would you plant a lady in your audience? You have a whole hour of material to do. Why would you plant a lady? I guess, you know, magic shows do it all the time, but I don't think comedians are at that level. We're not talking to David Blaine. We're here with Rachel Feinstein, you know what I'm saying? But here's what's exciting.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (6:24)

Ever seen David Blaine?

Brian Green (6:25)

I have never seen him live.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (6:27)

Yeah, live.

Brian Green (6:28)

Something about David Blaine just has always creeped me out. Just a hair. Do you know what I'm saying? He's got that look on his face like. I don't know, like he murdered your cat. And he wants you to know it, you know what I'm saying? It's a secret, but he wants you to know it. Like Claudia Schiffer is chopped up somewhere in his basement, but he's walking around with a body double. I don't know. I'm not saying that I. I don't dislike David Blaine. I've just never really cocky. Oh, yeah, but I guess you earn those stripes when you spend 17 days frozen in a block of ice, pissing on yourself. I mean, I suppose. I don't know. I think of him less as a magician, even though I know he does have street magic bona fides. I think of him less as a musician, a magician, and more of a.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (7:10)

Like a entertainer, like an endurance, Like.

Brian Green (7:13)

A guy who sets records. Right. He just hanging above one time, he's like hanging above New York for three weeks or something, you know, people taking pictures. And then he froze himself in a block of ice and he buried himself for 10 days. And then he. He's underwater for 30 minutes and I don't know. I don't know what to think. It's all very impressive what he's doing. But for what fucking reason, I ask you? Just to get attention. That's it. Because who else would put themselves in a block of ice for three weeks? I mean, I remember that people were literally. He was in the glass window of, like, some retail store, and there was a line to just walk by and see him. See David's shriveled dick. Look, it's David's shriveled dick.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (7:51)

It's shrinkage.

Brian Green (7:52)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (7:53)

Which.

Brian Green (7:54)

Hey, cool. Sweet, man. Nice job on the ice trick, I guess. But that's not magic. That's just you frozen in a block of ice for attention. Right, but I. This is coming from a podcaster who's desperately seeking attention. I don't know if I should be throwing stones in an ice house. You know what I'm saying? That he who has not sinned. That's just my opinion. But, no, I've never seen Dave. I have actually never seen any of the big magicians live. Me been to Las Vegas a lot, but me there never really was sober enough to. I was never Sober enough to sit through the hour long presentation about timeshares to get the free tickets. But I did one time pretend that I was married to my best friend at the time to. Or engaged to. And she didn't have a ring on her fingers. The stupidest thing to go to one of those timeshare presentations to go see. What was it? Cirque du Soleil, The Zoo Manity. The, like the naked one. And then we also then later on that day went to another timeshare presentation to go to a, like a Showgirls show.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (9:09)

Okay.

Brian Green (9:09)

I think it was at Harrah's or no. Oh no, we were staying at that Irish one. Oh, Shannon. Oh, Shaga hands or whatever it was. And they had like an old timey showgirl thing. Tits and ass and all the whole nine yards. And yeah, yeah, they did the can, can and the whole nine yards. But it was actually an impressive show. And there were 10. It was like a, it was good. It was like good pop, pop music. They were dancing, doing their thing. There was some other entertainers that came out during the show and the tits were fantastic. I mean, I just have to say showgirls have nice tits. I guess that's why they're showgirls. They're showing you their girls, right? I mean, I suppose. I don't know if there are there any showgirl shows left in Vegas. I don't know.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (9:50)

There's got to be.

Brian Green (9:50)

It's got to be one. Yeah, I do remember the Showgirls movie which was mainly Elizabeth Berkley overacting sex scenes. But okay, let's get past that. She also had very nice boobs. You know, hey, listen, I'm a, I'm, I'm a guy who likes boobs. There's lots of people who like boobs. So anyway, back to Rachel Feinstein, who's I'm sure is going to be happy to hear this intro.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (10:11)

Yup.

Brian Green (10:13)

Rachel Feinstein has a hour long Netflix Special out today, May 21st. So you must go watch or we implore you to go watch. We actually haven't even seen it yet. Watch it. Yeah, because we're recording so early in the morning. So please go watch that and then check out her Instagram. All of the links are in the show notes, so don't despair. You can always go and click afterwards onto the show notes and check it out, you know, little app called Netflix. I hear it's. I hear it's taking the world. That's what I hear. That's what I hear. And the new Home for Comedy used to be HBO and now it's Netflix. We've talked about this a lot on the show. And although HBO is also doing. Also still supporting comics in a major way, there I was on that. HBO plus Max, Discovery, minus whatever.

Rachel Feinstein (10:56)

It's everything.

Brian Green (10:57)

Yeah. And there was a lot of, you know, comedy specials that they are also promoting, too. And I think it's great. I think it's good for. I think we all need a laugh. Yes. Yes, that's it. Everybody wants to laugh. And I make it my mission to watch as many of these as I possibly can because we have so many of these comics come in the door. And I. I love the art of comedy. And when someone gets me. When someone gets me, like, like, I laugh out loud, hard. It's such a great feeling to that release. There's not a lot of laughing right now outside of this podcast. And so it's such relief and it feels good.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (11:29)

And there's a chemical release in your brain.

Brian Green (11:31)

Yeah. I'm grateful for it. And Rachel's one of those people who've given me quite a few belly laughs. Here's why. I like Rachel, too. She's observational with character humor. And what I mean by that is not unlike myself, because I want to give myself my own props. Not unlike myself. I like it when comedy goes a little sideways. Here's what I mean. You make an observation about the world, and then in your head, you have a conversation. Like some side note happens, and you have a conversation you had, and you make up a voice for a certain character that's doing a thing that you just observed, and then it come. And then she says it out loud in that voice. She's doing voices, she's doing characters, and I love that. I think that's my brand of humor. I. I like that very much.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (12:14)

I do, too.

Brian Green (12:15)

So she's good at that. She's been around for, I don't say, a long time. I don't want to date her. I mean, I'd like to date her, but she's married. You know, you get what I'm saying? But, you know, I don't want to date her, but she has done quite. Quite a bit of comedy. And I think she's, like, good. She must be good friends with Amy Schumer.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (12:31)

Yeah, she's in a lot of her stuff.

Brian Green (12:32)

Yeah, she's in a lot of her stuff. She's been in. She's been in movies. She's been. Let me give you a little rundown. How's that? We usually don't do this with our guests. But I'll do it. She's on Life and Beth, she was on Red Oaks, the Steven Soda Soderbergh Amazon series. She was on Crashing, which I loved. Crashing. I'm so sad that that's known around anymore. She was in Train Wreck Top five. She was on the Daily sh, the Nightly show with Larry Wilmore last week, Tonight with John Oliver. The she's hosted the View, co hosted the View, inside Amy Schumer. She's also the one of the voices on Grand Theft Auto. So I'm sure anybody under 40 is currently has a man boner about that. I wonder who she is. I know on Grand Theft Auto we should have a conversation about that if we get a chance. We'll talk to her about that. So let's do this, Chrissy.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (13:17)

Let's do it.

Brian Green (13:18)

Let's go into my awkward transition phase.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (13:19)

Okay.

Brian Green (13:20)

Okay.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (13:20)

Give it to me. Yeah, I'm ready.

Brian Green (13:22)

Why don't we take a break and then we'll take a break and through the magic of telepodcasting, we'll get her here on our Zoom like product that will allow us to talk to her from wherever she is in the world. I believe that's LA for the Netflix is a joke festival. Let's get her on and then when we come back we'll talk to her and the audience can actually hear it.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (13:39)

I think that's a great idea.

Brian Green (13:41)

I love how you always game for my wacky ideas.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (13:47)

That's what we do.

Brian Green (13:48)

That's what we do. All right, we'll be back with Rachel.

Christina (13:53)

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast and of course on all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

Brian Green (14:36)

And we're here with Rachel now. Thank you for joining us. Rachel, we're grateful for your time today. We know you're very busy. You have your new Netflix special Out today on Netflix.

Rachel Feinstein (14:47)

Little breaking news.

Brian Green (14:48)

Breaking news. You heard it here last. Rachel special is coming out today. Little app called Netflix. How are you feeling about this all? Is it very exciting?

Rachel Feinstein (14:58)

I am feeling pretty good. I am at my aunt's house right now, and it's just. I'm just trying. I'm just juggling it all, you know?

Brian Green (15:07)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (15:07)

I think I have, like, some eye. Eyelash glue on my face from yesterday, so I'm running a tight shift. I was trying to get on this thing and, like, de glue myself. I'm like, what's this? There's always a smear on myself. I'm like, what's that? Yeah, I got the money right on my forehead. Did somebody write on my forehead when I passed out last night?

Brian Green (15:27)

Are you in town for Netflix as a joke?

Rachel Feinstein (15:29)

Yes, for Netflix is a joke festival. I did a show here and to do stuff for my special too.

Brian Green (15:38)

Can I ask a question about the minutia of Netflix as a joke, which I just spent like an hour a couple episodes ago talking about how wonderful it is that Netflix is all in on comedy and really, I think is doing a standup job, pun intended, of showcasing young, up and coming and veteran comics. I think they're just doing a great job supporting that medium when it's desperately needed because everything's so bifurcated and everybody has a podcast and everyone's doing specials on the Internet and it's so hard to catch that spotlight. Do you record those for. For future release, or is it just a show that you're doing as part of a festival?

Rachel Feinstein (16:15)

Can you call me young again?

Brian Green (16:17)

Yes, you are young.

Rachel Feinstein (16:20)

That's all I got from that. They, they, they produce, like we produce the special in New York and then, and then Netflix airs it, streams it now. It's on now. So sometimes it depends on the deal, but sometimes Netflix is like, does the whole thing here in la. But we did it. It was a very New York special. So, you know, we basically made it ourselves and sold it to Netflix. And so. Yeah. But it's now a Netflix special and congratulations.

Brian Green (16:50)

Your earphones are really giving you a difficult time. Are those Aunt Lois's earphones? She's. She's wired to the computer to make sure that nothing goes wrong.

Rachel Feinstein (17:02)

She was like. As I was getting on, she was like, you can't live like this anymore. And we're discussing.

Brian Green (17:08)

Is Aunt Lois always like, this has been like this since you were a kid?

Rachel Feinstein (17:11)

Yeah. She runs a tight ship. She does, yes. She's, like, already changing the bed from That I slept in it. Like, you know, the room's always like, I'm still just like a deep pig, you know, hurling things everywhere. And. Yeah.

Brian Green (17:24)

And Lois coming behind you, you're like pig pen just dropping everywhere. And she's just coming by with a broom and a dust. Okay, so let me ask you as a pig. We have a. We have a hot debate going on here at the commercial break, and we've had it for a long time, quite frankly. I one time admitted that of the two showers I take a day because my OCD is an overdrive that I may not. I may or may not choose to wash my legs on every single shower.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (17:47)

At least not the shins.

Brian Green (17:48)

At least not the shins. Like, you know, knee down.

Rachel Feinstein (17:52)

You don't need to wash your sticks.

Brian Green (17:53)

It's like.

Rachel Feinstein (17:53)

It's exactly.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (17:55)

Yeah, exactly.

Rachel Feinstein (17:56)

Trickle down theory. This is it.

Brian Green (17:59)

I told you I'm right about this. I was so vilified when I read an article the other day that said doctors weigh in on whether or not you have to wash your trunk and trunks don't need to be washed. So I. I have to agree here. I think the soap just runs down. The abrasiveness of the water lets it go. But, you know, plus, how dirty are your shins?

Rachel Feinstein (18:18)

I mean, he's taking two showers a day. You're probably scrubbing. You're probably scrubbing off everything. You're, like, skinny. All the basic oils. I know. Worry more about that. Yeah. You're like. You're showering like you've just been victim of a crime or something.

Brian Green (18:31)

It's a lot.

Rachel Feinstein (18:32)

It's a hostile amount of scrubbing. Yeah.

Brian Green (18:34)

I have 12 children. I am a victim of a crime.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (18:37)

Where you get away is in the shower.

Rachel Feinstein (18:40)

Yeah. When I had. See, what I do is I just. I just use a lot of wipes. Yeah. I take real lazy showers. Yeah. Like, and then just would do some wipes in between, I think. I think like a wet wipe on a plane counts as a full shower.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (18:52)

I agree.

Christina (18:53)

Yeah.

Brian Green (18:53)

I agree. It counts as a plain shower. And planes are the most disgusting places on earth. I am 100 positive.

Rachel Feinstein (19:00)

That's what my grandma said. She said all you need is a wipe on a plane. Wipe your pits on a plane.

Brian Green (19:06)

It's like a French horse shower. I'm just gonna wipe my pants and get back to work.

Rachel Feinstein (19:11)

It's called a horse wr. You just have a little. You have. You have a little satchel and you put a few products to cover your whoring. And.

Brian Green (19:25)

One of my favorite Instagrams of you it, your Instagram reels. And I want to know if this is real. You gotta, you gotta break some news here on this. I want to know if this lady was planted or if this is real. And I know you know which reel I'm talking about. You're on stage and there is an older lady with like an ascot or something on and a hat. And you turn around and you start talking to her and you're like, you're looking at me like I'm a whore on fire. Whatever you said. Okay, you and her get into this interaction, she flicks you off. I, I watched it four times. It was so fucking funny.

Rachel Feinstein (19:55)

I know that Miss Doubtfire looking bitch, she hated me so much. And okay, first of all, this idea that comedians have plants in the audience. Do you know how expensive it is? Like where I'm hurling my body around the country? Like, I don't have a car service, much less a plant. I could plant some lady to glare at me. No, no. That is unless it's like a full blown hoax that you see. Like, you don't have plants. No, people just. There are a lot of bad people in the world that like to come and sit up front row at our shows and glare and judge us. Yeah, I can't. Look, I'm at my aunt's house right now. You think that I can afford a plant?

Brian Green (20:30)

I don't know. I have this thing in my mind. And we've had so many Netflix comedians on, especially running up to this festival. We have so many people on that are doing Netflix's Joker or have specials, had specials, going to have specials. And I have this vision in my mind that the second you get a Netflix special, you're sitting down with Ted Sarandos and having dinner. That's. That's my vision.

Rachel Feinstein (20:49)

That's Thursday. That's Thursday.

Brian Green (20:52)

Thursday.

Rachel Feinstein (20:53)

That's what I get on his plane. It's on Thursday. No, we don't. Like, first of all, comedians, like I just said, we're cleaning ourselves with wet wipes. Like, we're not running a tight ship. So, yeah, the amount of like, the amount it takes for me to just, like, I just lost my debit card, you know? So, like, I have to, I have to. I'm barely holding on. I could never afford to like, plan, like, pay somebody to glare at me. But I'm always fascinated in the comment section because it's a mixture of people sort of. Either they're really supportive and they're like, I love strong women in comedy or it's like the meanest, like, the most specifically mean. It'll be like, your arms are fatter than last week. And I'm like, okay. And then it's like. Or they think. I'm like, someone's tracking my arm fat. Okay? And then the next. The next comment. The next comment will be like, here's what she did. She hired the lady before she paid her outside out of a trench coat. She pushed her inside toward the Clarice. Like, no, we're not that together. Here's the thing, people, for some reason, I don't know why they gravitate towards the front row of a comedy show when they're furious or really or, like, aggressively drunk. Like, in the same show, I had one Miss Doubtfire looking lady glaring at me. She was wearing this. First of all, I don't think that she knew where she was. I think what happens is, I agree, a lot of people planned on a different evening. I don't know what was going on with her, but I think she thought she was going to, like, a play about Virginia Woolf or something. And then she's here at this godless horse comedy show, and she was furious.

Brian Green (22:20)

This is why I asked a question, because I'm reading the comments section on this. This real. I'm like, now deep diving into your one reel, right? I'm like, oh, my God, I'm obsessed with this real. And everybody, some. A lot of people are saying, oh, it's a plant. You know, she was there. She clearly, this is all set up. But in my mind, I'm like, there's no fucking way. But this lady looks so out of, like, straight out of casting. Straight out of casting.

Rachel Feinstein (22:42)

I still want closure with her. Like, I still want to understand why was she at my show. If you go to my Instagram, Rachel Feinstein underscore to know what we're talking about. This lady is. She's wearing some kind of like a bowler hat and like a scarf. And she does look like that lady in Home Alone that's always working with chickens or whatever. She looks like a lady who's organizing chickens.

Brian Green (23:02)

Okay?

Rachel Feinstein (23:03)

So she is, like, in the front row and the entire show now is glaring just like, like trying to erase me. Like I'm in chalkboard waving her hand over me. Like, no, you know, just actively furious. And I'm trying to do my acts, and I don't usually talk to that person, but I just. It was so distracting because she was right in the front row. Also, she had a lot of very vibrant, colorful scarves. On.

Brian Green (23:27)

She did.

Rachel Feinstein (23:28)

And I was trying to understand why she would put on these lively, colorful scarves only to quaking with fury like just a marvelous floral scarf. And she was just the angriest person I've ever seen. And then after the show. So a lot of firefighters come to my shows because I'm doing. I do a lot of material about being married to a firefighter. So it's a lot of, like, first responder family. So. And then they bring me sometimes these. It's very lovely. These coins are called challenge coins. They're things that they get for being brave, and they give them to me with my filthy self. So it's very. It's very touching. I absolutely don't deserve them just for going up and spewing general filthy.

Christina (24:03)

But.

Rachel Feinstein (24:05)

But this. This lovely firefighter comes up afterwards, and he was giving me a challenge coin. I was meeting his family, and then at the same time, that lady's, I think son comes up to say listen. And I was like. I was like, I need to know. I'm like, hold on. Wait. You hold for a second. Cause I have to. I can't. Like, I have to be with this man who's giving me a bravery coin that I definitely don't deserve. Yeah, but I had so many questions for that guy. And, like, he was like, I can explain. And I still like. I mean, if you're listening to this, let's have tea. I need to know why your mother hates me. I'm very.

Brian Green (24:35)

Yeah, this is definitely our target audience. Old angry lady flicking Rachel off and stand up. That's our target audience. I have.

Rachel Feinstein (24:43)

She did a double flick off, too. It was both hands. She was like, ah, you. And you could tell it was the freest she's ever felt. Like she's definitely gonna put out that night after flicking me off with both hands.

Brian Green (24:54)

You are so right about this. I get this. I get the feeling that this lady had never stuck her middle finger out like that in any kind of purposeful way. And she did it to you. And she flew like a little bird. It was, like, invigorating. She got her wings and she went off. And then she. And then you tried to engage her, saying, listen, I'm gonna have some coffee with you late. You and I are having coffee later. And this lady wasn't having any of it. She just kept staring it with you with this. With this death stare. You're good at crowd work. And let me ask you a question. Do you enjoy the crowd work part of it, or do you. Or is that when you sense that the audience is getting a little spicy and you go in for the crowd work to get them, wrap them back in.

Rachel Feinstein (25:32)

Well, here's the thing with crowd work. So when I. I've been doing more of it lately because either a. I'm distracted by somebody that's hating me in a very active way that actively hates me and I can't really take that level of glaring is a little bit. Kind of pulls my attention away. I have add you know. So when somebody's glaring at you and giving you two middle fingers, you tend to get a bit distracted a little bit. But, but so it's either that they distract me or I just did an hour worth of material in Netflix. So now I'm going on the road after this. So I'm writing a brand new hour. So I am going into the crowd. Because when you go out after you release a special, you know they don't want to see the special again.

Brian Green (26:08)

No.

Rachel Feinstein (26:09)

So, so I'm, I'm going. I'm sometimes going into the crowd, talking to the crowd. It'll make me think of something or. And so now like I've been developing a new hour that I'm going to take on the road right afterwards. So I'm kind of playing around more than I. Than I usually do when I'm running a special and I have all my weird scattered. I probably looks a lot like her chicken Cooper notes.

Brian Green (26:30)

Pigeons in that movie is that it's so it's. It can be inspirational. It's like, let's improv a little bit and let's find a little nugget of gold that maybe I can take in string out into something into my set.

Rachel Feinstein (26:42)

Is this exactly. But I tend to try to like, even when I'm doing crowd work, like I try to come from some place of empathy. So I invited her scar shopping. I'm like, look, you want to go to violence basement, let's squash our beef, you know? Yeah, you should take her on the road Scarves. I'm like, let's go to Filene's and let's work it out together. I try. And by the way, I love thrift shopping. I wasn't lying. What would have been better than a second video of me and her like having a fun, loving, thrifting day?

Brian Green (27:10)

This is what I'm saying. You need to engage her and the two of you become like a duo, you know, for part of your show. She comes up and just stares at you and you have to be uncomfortable with her on stage. She Is the, she is the, the perfect straight person to your comedy duo. I'm telling you right now. When you are traveling all around, I mean we've, we know it's a comics job, right? You got to get on a plane, you got to go to the next place. Do you enjoy that part of it? Do you go out at night? Like your Netflix is a joke festival right now? Do you go out at night with other comics and have some drinks and hang out or are you like, I'm so tired. I just want to go back to the hotel room. Don't get in any trouble. Where I'm at currently staying.

Rachel Feinstein (27:53)

I know I don't. Now that I'm a mother, I don't like, I, if I'm in a hotel and my daughter's not with me, then I'm gonna sleep for maybe five hours. Because right now, you know, you know, every day she's in our room, in between us in a bed that's too small for us. We just like, it's this weird game of like we're switching beds, we're like running around. Like I'm always running into her room. I'm sleeping there for four hours or I'm upstairs and like she is. Yeah, she's running the entire house. My, my mother in law calls her Terror Montego. Like she's, she's like, she's a little terrorist, but she's like. So we're always switching Ben. I'm always like hurling my body around to different bedrooms. So when I'm in a hotel, a lot of times me, her husband and my husband and me are with her together. I might make it seem like I'm accompanying her on the road. A lot of times she's with me.

Brian Green (28:42)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (28:43)

But a lot of times she's playing, she's playing the punchline. Yeah. That was more than a four year slip. But, but when I'm alone in a hotel, like, no, I'm just like, I'm going to get to sleep for. Yeah. And it's not, I wish I could say that I just do like a guided meditation and float off. No, it's like I'm like drinking wine and just like hurling anything into my face. Just get like five hours of the worst sleep where you just like you still feel your makeup while you're sleeping, you know?

Kristen Joy Hoadley (29:11)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (29:12)

And a hotel, I always go into a hotel with a big plan. Like I'm like, oh, I'll do this mask. You know, I'll learn how to love myself. You know, I never use any of the products I bring. Yeah.

Brian Green (29:22)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (29:23)

It's always just me with all my lashes, like, on my each cheek. And it's never. Yeah. And I'm still wearing my, like, Paula Poundstone blazer from the night before. It's always sad to look at what I thought was gonna happen in a hotel. I'm just like, oh, I'll get there, and I'll just stare into my own eyes and learn how to accept myself. Finally heal my relationship with my mother. But it doesn't work out that way.

Brian Green (29:44)

Yeah, my wife and I are the exact same way. It's like we go on one big yearly trip every year, and then what? Sometimes it's international. We have some Spanish family in Spain. So we'll go to Spain and let's go to Mallorca for a couple days. It'll be wonderful. We'll get away from the kids, we'll make love, we'll shop, we'll. And you know what ends up happening? We eat, we fart, we go to sleep. And I say we wake up semi refreshed. We're worrying about our children. You know what really happens is we end up going out to dinner, and then we talk about our children the entire time that we're there.

Rachel Feinstein (30:14)

It's like, now I know our therapist told us to stop doing that, but it's really hard not to do it. Yeah, it's really difficult to reconnect to each other. And then I'm like, but look at her in this troll costume.

Brian Green (30:26)

She's poppy. Here's why I ask about the travel. Tell me.

Rachel Feinstein (30:30)

That's how I potty trained her, by the way. She said she wanted to dress like a tree troll. I tried every single book thing, Dr. Becky, every, like, different therapist on Instagram. And the one thing that worked was that if she finally stopped going in her pants, if I gave her a tree troll costume. So she's like. I was like, what's it gonna take? I finally just looked at her like, it was like I met her. I'm like, what's it gonna take to make this happen? She's like, you really want to know? I'm like, you bet I do. She's like, I want to dress like a troll. I'm like, why? She's like a tree troll. I'm like, like, but what's in it for you? She's like, just do as I say. She's like, go on Amazon. Get me a tree troll costume. And I swear to God, she was like, I'll stop doing it. We knew. Here's how we knew she was going in her pants is that we. Her aunt got her this car, this white Mercedes to bring to the park. Like, kid car.

Brian Green (31:21)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (31:21)

Which all. We just get carjacked now whenever we go to the car, chasing. Chasing her in this Mercedes. So, like. So now the car's just, like, in our living room. And that's how we would know she was going in her pants. Cause she would go and hide in that car. Pete's like, she's in the Mercedes, ladies. I'm like, yeah. I didn't know if I was allowed to say. That was me trying.

Brian Green (31:41)

You can say whatever the you want to say.

Rachel Feinstein (31:43)

Yeah. That's how we know she's in her pants and she's in her white toy Mercedes until. And I was. She's like, she's in the Mercedes.

Brian Green (31:49)

I'm like, no, it's a white Mercedes. The leather.

Rachel Feinstein (31:53)

She just goes there, and she goes like this. She puts her hands over the top of her head. Like, I'm not gonna know that it's her. I know it's you. Your pants. So then I finally got this tree troll costume, and she just stopped. She's like, this is what it'll take. And that was it. And then she just would go to bed every night, dress dressed as a tree troll. She's always like a ninja or a tree troll. Yeah. That's all I can do.

Brian Green (32:13)

You know, with my first kid, potty training came about. We knew it was kind of time. You know, you get the signs. They're. They're. Their poops are bigger than the diapers are. Right. It's like, it's time to get this kid potty trained. And we went through all the books, too. And one of the ones we was like, yourself. It was some kind of, like, methodology called yourself or let it fly or let it flow or whatever it was. And the basic premise was get them naked. And fourth, plan on staying at the house for three days and then just let them run around. And when they're ready to go to the bathroom, they'll either indicate that they have to go to the bathroom or they'll just pee. It'll be a lot of cleaning up, but eventually they'll get to the toilet. I'm here to tell you that shit yourself is full of shit. Because that don't work. It doesn't.

Rachel Feinstein (32:53)

Get it too. It doesn't work.

Brian Green (32:54)

It doesn't work.

Rachel Feinstein (32:55)

I'm like, everyone's naked for no reason. This is getting really weird now. We're just angry and naked. No because there's the thing. They might do it then. But then they go back to school and they shit their pants and they get a note every day. I got a note every day. Just like, there's always so many notes from a teacher. It's like, you know, she went in her pants again. I know. You say you're potty training her. I'm like, you. And then there's always, like, they don't quite buy it. I'm like, I'm trying. I don't know what you want from me. And then there's also the second note of every little thing that I have all my infractions during the day. She's like, her water bottle wasn't filled to the top. I'm like, top her off, bitch. Come on.

Brian Green (33:28)

Yeah. These preschool teachers, I think they get a little too helicoptery cocky about everything. Like, and I understand it's a hard job. Like, just being at home with my children for one hour by myself is nearly impossible. I really want to jump out of the window. But the teachers, they do send these little snarky little notes home. And you're like, yeah, well, you fucking spend all this time with them and try to get them to do this.

Rachel Feinstein (33:51)

I think part of it is, like, to be a good preschool teacher, you probably have to run such a tight ship.

Brian Green (33:56)

Oh, yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (33:57)

Like, so I. So, like, like, you probably have to run a military style, like, Navy, like, ship to keep these animals in line, you know? So I think that's true. I think that's probably part of it. And I am like an. Like a. Just an active. People just look at my bag and they're like, oh, God, are you a woman? You know, so when I went to her preschool, I left, like, a passport there and, like, a debit card when I met everybody. Yeah. And it's not. It's like, it's. By the way, it's like a. It's a regular, like, government. New York City, 3K. So it's like, it's not like they're like, trying to kiss my ass. They're like, get your passport and get out of my hair.

Brian Green (34:32)

When. Here's why. Back to travel. Here's why I ask. Tell me about what is the. If you. Back when you went out and you hung out with the other comics or just went out on the town, I'm sure there was at first, at least a level of excitement about getting to travel around the country and seeing new places. Tell me about the most dangerous situation that you've been in while traveling. So You've got to have one of those stories.

Rachel Feinstein (34:55)

Oh, a bunch of those stories. I mean, which one should I pick? There was one time I would stay when I was opening for comics when I was still like a nanny and bartending. I was staying in like $46 hotels. Like I was like, oh, look, this one. I could get this for 46. Yeah. You can get a cocktail of diseases for 46. Yeah.

Brian Green (35:14)

It comes with free syphilis.

Rachel Feinstein (35:16)

Like actively dangerous hotels. But one of the times I know that somebody from the audience, one place I played, they would announce on the website of the, of the hotel, of the comedy club. We put our comics in, you know, this hotel, like Hinta. Yeah. And I'm like, it's like that's just when you haven't. It's like there's no way a woman would ever have done that. I'm like, no. You know, and they have some deal with the local place, which means like, here's where you can murder Rachel.

Brian Green (35:47)

That's true. I didn't think about that. They're like announcing where all of the comics are going to be, right?

Rachel Feinstein (35:52)

And they have like a deal with them that here, if we give you the information so that you can finish your. Whatever your criminal aims are in a more organized fashion, your stalking will be less laborious for you. So one time I was in, I was in. Where was I? Cal? It was in California. I can't remember. I don't want to say the name of the comedy club, but it was probably about an hour or two out from la.

Brian Green (36:17)

Okay.

Rachel Feinstein (36:17)

And I was, look, I'm still protecting them even though they didn't protect me.

Brian Green (36:22)

Yeah, that's true.

Rachel Feinstein (36:23)

But I had a room with an outside entrance and I just like, my friend, another funny comic, Kelly Price, she was over spending the night and she came and opened for me and she lives nearby, but she came into and she was like, oh. I was like, you could just stay here at my hotel if you want to like get away. She has five kids, so if you want to get away from your massive family. So she came over and all of a sudden there's just this like drunk guy from the audience outside the door. We have to go use the machine or something. And I was like, that's the guy. We came back in and we shut the door. We were just like sitting there trying to plan and then she's like, just come to my house. I think we just have. Yeah. So we called downstairs and he was just kind of sort of swaying in the hallway as we like Ran by with our suitcases.

Brian Green (37:06)

Oh, God.

Rachel Feinstein (37:07)

And then I just went to go live with Kelly in her. I think I slept in, like, her son's bunk bed. Yeah. And I told that. And I told the club the next day, and they just kind of watched my story like it was an amusing night for us. And I'm like, so again, the guy from the audience is outside. They're like, oh, that's crazy. It was not a wacky, fun tale. Right. I was almost murdered.

Brian Green (37:28)

They're like, oh, that's Ed. He murders all of the comics that open up for the big names. Don't worry about it.

Rachel Feinstein (37:33)

Just, like, swaying and pointing, and we were, like, fleeing.

Brian Green (37:36)

Wow, that. That's scary. I think that's.

Rachel Feinstein (37:38)

Another time a guy came into my room that was in Vegas. Oh, into. Well, a halfway in, because he opened it with a top.

Brian Green (37:46)

Yeah, yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (37:47)

That was in Vegas when I was staying at one of the towers for. I think it was Harris Casino. So then he. He follows me. So he worked for the casino.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (37:57)

I think it was Harris, pretty sure.

Rachel Feinstein (37:59)

So he worked for the casinos. This comedy club is no longer in this specific casino. But he worked for the casino. So he was. Worked in maintenance. And so my room key thing didn't work. Like, it wasn't. Yeah. So he was trying to fix not the key, but the thing itself. The apparatus on the door, whatever it's called.

Brian Green (38:16)

Yeah, yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (38:17)

So that. So he came over, and I just. Flown across country. You know the fatigue you have when you're just like.

Brian Green (38:22)

Absolutely. You're swollen, you're tired. All you want to do is just lay down and take an uncomfortable nap.

Rachel Feinstein (38:30)

Yeah, yeah. And I was just, like, resting on my suitcase, which I have a name for. That's not a good sign if you're.

Brian Green (38:35)

If you don't have a name. Like, I was the name. What is the name?

Rachel Feinstein (38:39)

The Red Dragon. And so I was resting on the dragon and so waiting for him to fix the thing. And. And we were just having a chat, you know, Like, I was talking about being on the road, and he was asking me questions, and. And so, like, I was like, oh, what a lovely man. And then the next night, I was fast asleep. And then my boyfriend at the time, thank God, flew out and stayed with me the next day, and, like. And, like, finished out the week with me in Vegas. But he'd been working before. I never had locked the top lock because I just wouldn't think about it. I was like, oh, like, they have security. It's a casino. Whatever.

Brian Green (39:13)

Yeah, yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (39:14)

So he Locked it. But then. And then in the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, three in the morning, he tries to open the door to the room. And I was like, oh, my God. So. So my boyfriend jumps up and then. And then. And he's like, what are you doing, dude? And he's like, oh, sorry. I thought there was a call for this room. It's like, even if there was a call, wouldn't you have called? The. Like, this doesn't make any sense. So then. So it's like, even if somebody called and said that their toilet was broken or whatever, like, you would knock first.

Brian Green (39:42)

Yeah.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (39:43)

Just walk in.

Brian Green (39:43)

Did you report this to Harris?

Rachel Feinstein (39:45)

Yes, I reported. I kept explaining and talking about it, and again, they looked at me with the same expression, like I was telling a crazy tale. They're like, well, I'm sure it was an accident. I'm like, next. It's not an accident.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (39:54)

Oh, wow.

Brian Green (39:54)

He's like, that's. They were kind of looking at.

Rachel Feinstein (39:57)

Yeah, they were looking at me with a vibe of like, don't flatter yourself. He wasn't trying to kill you. Like, I was giving myself a compliment or something, you know?

Brian Green (40:04)

That's insane.

Rachel Feinstein (40:06)

That's insane. I. I tried and tried and talked to everybody at the hotel, the comedy club. I feel like a lot of times, like, I don't know, they just. They didn't. I did report it, I hope. Eventually I finally got a woman to give me the call logs of the other of. Of who called, who did call then, you know?

Brian Green (40:23)

Yeah.

Rachel Feinstein (40:24)

And it wasn't even in the same tower. She said she was gonna. She's like. She was the one who just looked at me in the eyes. Like, I can't say everything right now, but I'm gonna do something about this, you know? So.

Brian Green (40:33)

Yeah.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (40:33)

Okay, good.

Rachel Feinstein (40:34)

So she, I think, was the one person that was like, gonna follow up on it and make sure that he didn't kill others. Anyway, Netflix. Netflix. May 21st. Big guy out now.

Brian Green (40:48)

So tell us about the new special. You're married to a firefighter. Handsome looking dude with a big old mustache. Or he had a big old mustache. You cut that mustache off? Did he cut that mustache?

Rachel Feinstein (40:57)

He grows it back every few months to infuriate me. Yes. Scotland Yard detective mustache. And then he drinks. He. He eats sardines and he packs them. We go and drink them like, you cannot have sardines in a hotel room and then get them caught in your mustache. Like, if you ever want to get laid again, you need to get rid of the sardines.

Brian Green (41:15)

My father in law does this, but he's from, from Venezuela and he's Spanish. And so I think there's some cultural thing about eating sardines straight out of a can. But why, why sardines?

Rachel Feinstein (41:24)

Not in a hotel room. There's a stench. He's always like omega 3s. Like, you can't just state a vitamin. It's foul.

Brian Green (41:30)

That's right. By the way, you can go to CVS and buy Omega 3 in a wonderful little capsule that doesn't smell like sardines. That's amazing. So tell us. So the Netflix special I, I've read is, is has some comedy of some material around your husband and being married to a firefighter.

Rachel Feinstein (41:49)

Yes. Yeah, there's a lot about that because it's a. It's. Imagine if your husband was just. I talk about this in a special. Spending the night with like 12 guys for half your marriage. It's not a good idea. Like these. It's not. Yeah, it's just, it's not like they, they undo everything I've accomplished every time. He hasn't. I can imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like that's where he got the sardine idea. It. By the way, it's very interesting because a lot of. Now that I've been doing all this material about married to a fireman, a lot of the fire wives I identify as a badge banger, which I say in the special. Badge banger, I like that fire twat. But a lot of the other fire spouses, they will explain to me why he does things because, like, I'm new. They're looking at me like, like, I think they enjoy that I talk about it, but they're like, let me tell you what's happening. Like, you know. Yeah, like, like, so they explain. They've explained a lot of things to me. Like, oh, that's from the firehouse. Like, because he's just like. He'll get more and more conspiracy theories. And then they've explained to me that the firehouse is always coming back with like a pamphlet about like a secret highway or something. And I'm like, please don't read anything Vinnie hands you. I'm like, it's not. It's fiction. It's fiction.

Brian Green (43:01)

Yeah, that must be tough too. I didn't think about the minutiae of that. But firefighters really do sleep in the firehouse. They have shifts, like nurses, I would imagine, right? Like three days on, four days off or whatever it is. And they're super high adrenaline. They're always going into emergency situations, so.

Rachel Feinstein (43:17)

Like, they get braver and dumber. That's what happens.

Brian Green (43:22)

I bang my toe and I spend a half an hour complaining about it over dramatically, right? My. My adrenaline level goes high and I'm complaining about it. And my wife's always like, it's a fucking baby. Just tub your toe. Who cares? It hurts so bad. You've never stubbed your toe like this. But this guy is like running into fires, you know, grabbing people out of cars, I don't know, swinging from trees, doing whatever he's doing. And then he comes home and it's. There's no adrenaline, right? It must be like, to get him, I don't know, kind of worked up. Must be attentive, available.

Rachel Feinstein (43:53)

Yeah, I don't think that's happened. It's not around the corner for me.

Brian Green (43:56)

How did you guys meet?

Rachel Feinstein (43:58)

They can't sit still. That's the thing. They're always. Yeah, that's always like, he basically. He gutted our house. Like, while we were in it. I almost lost my mind. He was like, I'm gonna re insulate the house. And I. I was too dumb to know what that meant. I was like, oh, when? Thursday, you know? And then my friend was like. My aunt was like, because she's a realtor, she's like, he's gutting it. He's gutting the house. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah.

Brian Green (44:21)

Why? What? That's not like a Tuesday afternoon job.

Rachel Feinstein (44:25)

No, that's like, yeah. And then there was three firemen doing everything. It was just like him and Dino, like, pulling off. It's been a lot. We bought this house with bitcoin. They all love crypto. And there's always like four firemen building my kitchen. I. I talk about this in the special too, but it's all true. Like, I was like, did. Do we have a ghost? And my friend brought me over holy water, you know, Like, I'm not a Catholic. I'm like, can you get your mitts on some holy water? And then we finally figured out it was because the lights were flickering because a fireman was doing our electricity.

Brian Green (44:59)

You bought the house with bitcoin? Did I hear that right?

Rachel Feinstein (45:04)

She bought the house with bitcoin. It was a very old house, but it's a five bedroom house. Like, it was an old, big house with multi generational families live there. So I was like, oh, it must be it. Maybe it's haunted. And then the light kept flickering at weird times, like turning on and off. And I was like, oh, my God. You know?

Brian Green (45:20)

No, because Dino doesn't know the first thing about electricity licking the wires. Like, I'll stick these together. It'll be fine. That's unbelievable.

Rachel Feinstein (45:30)

My friend's like, you need. She was like, you need. I'm telling you right now, we got to do a seance. And then the other friend was like, no, it's because. It's because Dino's doing the electric.

Brian Green (45:41)

Where did you get a holy water from? You can buy that on tv, I hear from some preachers. Okay, so Netflix, she's. Netflix has got the special coming out today, May 21st. You can watch it. It's on now on Netflix. Are you also when. Tell us about the tour. How many thousands of cities are you going to?

Rachel Feinstein (46:03)

Where am I going to next? I'll be in Toronto. I'll be in Santa Cruz and Honolulu. God. Portland. A bunch of different cities. And by the way, if you go to my website, rachel-feldinstein.com, you could see. See the full schedule or Rachel Feinstein underscore and DM me things to do with toddlers. Because my. Oh, yeah, you guys are in your town. Because I am going to bring my husband and daughter on a lot of it.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (46:28)

Nice.

Rachel Feinstein (46:29)

This tour. So we're often out there. He likes it, too, like the specials called Big Guy. Because he calls me Big Guy. And. And he. People are always like, is it hard for him that you talk about? I'm like, he loves it. Call me Big Guy. And then stand there and be like, you know, it's not easy, but you roll with it. Please. You're like, signing autographs. Yeah.

Brian Green (46:49)

He's like a martyr. He's acting like a martyr. Meanwhile, he's such a mar.

Rachel Feinstein (46:53)

He's like a hero and a martyr. You're right. Yeah.

Brian Green (46:55)

Yeah. So are you coming to Atlanta?

Rachel Feinstein (47:00)

I think I probably am, honestly. Like, I. It's funny because I'm so disorganized. I'll be on, like, Instagram Live. And I'm like, can somebody paste the link? Where am I? And, like. Like, a lot I rely on, like, people that follow me. Like, I have full relationships with them. I'm like, is that. I'm like, wait a second. Is that like, I know their names. I'm like, wait, is that ironically clear? Is that, like, you know, Ted likes hiking? And, like, Ted likes hiking is always, like, pacing my dates. He's like, don't worry. You're gonna be in Toronto in two weeks. Get your passport. You gotta make sure you've got an Updated passport.

Brian Green (47:33)

Like, everybody between Aunt Lewis and Ted is hiking. You're. You're gonna be fine. Everybody's taken care of.

Rachel Feinstein (47:39)

I've got a team of people, like, cleaning and, like, painting me and picking, like, tags off me. They're, like, pulling the tag off my dress. I was on stage the other day, and I had a Forever 21 tag on the back.

Brian Green (47:48)

No. Yeah, I did that one time. I did that one time. I went to a wedding, and there was a tag literally sticking out of my jacket the entire time until the brides. One of the bridesmaids came over and was like, you're like a real shithead. I said, I'm gonna return it tomorrow. What do you know? I can't afford to suit. What are you talking about, Rachel? You're a girl after my own heart. I am just a mess. Everything you say is totally relatable to me. I also am just a hot mess. I'm, like, just running around. Anything I touch turns to shit. So I'm a terrible business person. The only thing I've ever been good at is talking behind a microphone. And me too.

Rachel Feinstein (48:22)

Why do you think I was always in detention? I had a detention date. Like, this is what I can do. I could talk some shit, but very little else.

Brian Green (48:28)

Yeah, you're so good. I've been watching you for years. By the way, Rachel has a ton of material out there from Comedy Central. Her Instagram is hilarious. You must go watch that reel that we were talking about earlier. It's Rachel Feinstein underscore. Is that correct?

Rachel Feinstein (48:42)

Underscore? Yeah. You could see my last specials on YouTube now. All like, only horse were purple and stuff, but big guys on Netflix right now.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (48:48)

I'm so excited to see that.

Brian Green (48:49)

Yeah, we're excited.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (48:50)

Congratulations.

Brian Green (48:51)

We're gonna get off right now. We're gonna go watch your special, and then we'll call you back and let you know how things are going.

Rachel Feinstein (48:55)

Thank you guys, so much. I love you. I love Riverbeat Memphis, too. That's such a cute shirt.

Brian Green (49:02)

Thank you. That's her.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (49:04)

Her husband's festival on a festival in Memphis. Really?

Rachel Feinstein (49:06)

Oh, that's.

Brian Green (49:08)

Yeah, I do nothing, so I just have a white shirt on. I'm a blank slate. You can do what I pretend. Just pretend that I do something.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (49:15)

We can just call. We can just video something on your.

Brian Green (49:17)

Thank you. I appreciate it. Rachel feinstein.com. rachel feinstein underscore on Instagram.

Rachel Feinstein (49:23)

Check rachel--feinstein.

Brian Green (49:25)

Rachel dash.

Rachel Feinstein (49:26)

Another Rachel. Got the other one. I'll get her on her. Thank you. Guys, so much for having me to make it easy.

Brian Green (49:36)

The links are in the show. Notes, notes. Make sure you go Netflix special out today. Rachel, you have been a pleasure, a treat. We hope you come back soon. Thank you so much.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (49:44)

Tell aunt Lois thank you.

Rachel Feinstein (49:49)

Want to come say goodbye?

Brian Green (49:50)

Come say goodbye, Lois.

Rachel Feinstein (49:52)

Yeah, okay. Come say hello.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (49:56)

I love it.

Rachel Feinstein (49:57)

It's a sensation. An amazing realtor in California. Can you see me there? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Brian Green (50:08)

Look at you.

Rachel Feinstein (50:09)

Oh, got the makeup on. I'm still not here.

Brian Green (50:12)

Ready?

Rachel Feinstein (50:12)

Amazing.

Brian Green (50:13)

Aunt Lois, your niece is a mess.

Rachel Feinstein (50:17)

You know what? I told her that last night and this morning she needs. Which was the same time, by the way, last night and this morning. Okay? We have to whip her into shape. Somebody help that DM guy, that Tom hiker guy. He's not doing a good job.

Brian Green (50:32)

Maybe she needs to hire you to be her agent.

Rachel Feinstein (50:34)

Oh, no, no. She definitely needs to hire me. Definitely.

Brian Green (50:38)

You can negotiate with Ted Sarandos for her next Netflix special and make sure she stays on task.

Rachel Feinstein (50:42)

Oh, no. I told her I have to do the negotiating for her. She's not getting enough money for her.

Brian Green (50:46)

Genius.

Rachel Feinstein (50:48)

And that's the truth.

Brian Green (50:49)

I know how much that is not a joke. But I agree with you. Yes, I agree with you. Comics are underpaid. They do it. It's a no brainer. This one especially.

Rachel Feinstein (50:56)

Look at that face. Do you see that face?

Kristen Joy Hoadley (50:59)

It's gorgeous.

Brian Green (50:59)

You two look a lot alike. You really don't we? Yeah, you do. Good.

Rachel Feinstein (51:04)

We smile good.

Brian Green (51:06)

We love you both. Thanks, Anthony. We love you too.

Rachel Feinstein (51:08)

Nice to meet you too.

Brian Green (51:10)

We'll talk to you soon.

Rachel Feinstein (51:11)

Bye and bye.

Brian Green (51:12)

Bye.

Christina (51:15)

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again. Here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram, hecommercial break and on TikTok TCB podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333. TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333. Free TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

Brian Green (52:05)

We got a two for there.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (52:07)

We got Rachel and aunt Lois made a special appearance.

Brian Green (52:11)

I love it. I love It. Aunt Lois was not what I pictured, by the way. When she said aunt Lois, I imagined like an old lady lady with a cane.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (52:18)

Like, no, Aunt Lois was hot.

Brian Green (52:19)

Aunt Lois was a sexy old lady. Hey, Aunt Lois, holler at your boy. And they did look a lot alike, didn't they? They had a lot of facial features that were very similar. So Aunt Lois, very prominent real estate agent, I suppose, in California, heard from Rachel and she's trying to keep Rachel in order. And I understand Rachel at a real, like, animalistic level about how disorganized and ADHD she is, because that's me. I do leave my passport and my credit card. Everybody, everyone. If it wasn't for Astrid, Astrid said something the other day that I thought was very interesting and 100 true. She said, When I first met you, it seemed like you had your together. But I was wrong about that. You seem like I do together. And I was like, yeah, that's just because, you know, when we're flying all over the world, you know, chasing love, you don't get to see the day in, day out disaster of a life that I have. But I think probably pretty quickly. When she moved in with me nine years ago, she was like, oh, I moved from Venezuela for this? Yeah, she's got some work to do. And now that only the work is just beginning, by the way.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (53:26)

So anyway, at least you have her to balance it out.

Brian Green (53:29)

That's true. And Rachel has Aunt Lois. And what you may not have heard, because it just depends on how we edit the show or whether or not it was recorded. What you may not have heard was Aunt Lois goes, oh, they were so cute, weren't they?

Rachel Feinstein (53:41)

Yes.

Brian Green (53:41)

Hey, Lois probably thinks we're a couple. That's what a lot of people do.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (53:44)

Probably.

Brian Green (53:45)

Probably.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (53:46)

But anyway, now sometimes I have to clarify that when you're talking about the kids to people we're interviewing, like, oh, yeah, but it's not our kids.

Brian Green (53:54)

It's not our kids. Yeah. Chrissy always qualifies that. She wants to be sure everybody knows that she's not dumb enough to have kids with Brian Astor. It had to. If she wanted to stay with a disaster of a man, she needed to have children to make sure I wasn't going anywhere. No, I love my children. It's the best thing that ever happened. I swear to God, it is on a day to day basis. It seems like a nightmare and such a big chore. But big picture, I do just love the out of those kids. I really do. I know you do. Yeah. They're so adorable in their own. All 13 to 40 of them in their own little way. But Rachel was wonderful. We're grateful for her time, obviously, we're grateful for anybody who decides to come on this stupid program. Yeah. But Rachel Feinstein underscore on Instagram is at. Rachel Feinstein underscore rachel-feinstein.com for all of her tour dates and all of the pertinent information. We'll put the links in the show notes so you don't have to remember. But go see her if she comes into town. She is really fucking funny, I'm telling you. If you like the brand of comedy that we produce here, which is comedy. If you like comedy, you're gonna love Rachel Feinstein, who does it so much better than we do. And also the big news, of course, is that her Netflix special, I can't wait to see it today. Yeah, I'm gonna watch Big Man. Big Guy.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (55:17)

Big Guy.

Brian Green (55:17)

Big Guy.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (55:18)

Big Guy.

Brian Green (55:18)

Yeah. Which is, you know, being married to a firefighter. She's. She said it here, which was kind of ballsy, kind of newsy. I thought that, you know, he's an emotional. He's emotionally. Damn. Emotionally distant, damaged. It. You know, he's just a big boy, essentially, is what he is. Which I guess. But he calls her Big.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (55:35)

Yes.

Brian Green (55:36)

I don't know why, but that's not for me to know. I guess we'll figure that out in the next. On the Next Conversation special. And so much stuff I wanted to ask. I want to ask her about a relationship. It's always something, you know, I know.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (55:48)

We never get to hindsight 2020 when.

Brian Green (55:50)

You get three ADHD people on a Zoom Caller, Fireside or whatever the. We're using. When you get that many people and not. We just. Just. There's no chance of any direction or focus.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (56:01)

We don't want to do a. You know, these are the set questions. Every person that comes in, and we want it to be very conversational and let the road take us where it may.

Brian Green (56:12)

Well, here's like pulling back the curtain a little bit. You know, for years, we never had guests. And really. Because we were scared. We were scared. Well, and yes, there was. There was an element to that. Scared to have three voices in the room. And how we handle that, what we would do.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (56:28)

Plus the core.

Brian Green (56:29)

Yeah. Plus the chords. We just figured out yesterday. Meanwhile, people have been doing this for 30 years. Mark Cuban was streaming in 1983, and Chrissy and I just figured out. Oh, an HDMI cord. You can buy those at Best Buy. No really? All this time. But the other thing was we wanted to get good at us talking in a room before we invited other people to do it. I'm not sure we accomplished that. No, we didn't.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (57:01)

But we had to just jump in.

Brian Green (57:02)

Yeah. At some point I just said, okay, let's just get guests on the show. And the first couple of interviews, which I wish that you would not go back and listen to. It's pretty blatantly obvious that we have no fucking clue what we're doing. Like with Vir Das, the poor bastard. I mean, that poor bastard is probably like, I am never coming on the show again. Again. Never. And okay, I get it.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (57:22)

And yeah, he was on a world tour, like across the entire world. So I don't think he's. He's probably put us out of his mind.

Brian Green (57:30)

Oh no, Beer forgot us the second we got off. Remember he said he's got. At the end of that conversation after we get. Sometimes when we get off the interviews, there's a little extra chatter that goes on. Just hey, thanks, we really appreciate it. We'll come see. You know, when are you in Atlanta? We'll come see you. Whatever. Just niceties that are exchanged. Pleasantries, if you will. Veer was like, I gotta go get a cup of coffee. Coffee. It was like, I'm out of here. But Veer was wonderful with us. But we were kind of amateurish about the whole thing. And we did this like, this is your life. Tell us. Yeah, so in 1992, blah, blah, blah. Right. And so I just threw that playbook out the window because so many people do it. It's called a press junket. And there's pre ordained questions that you ask.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (58:10)

Everybody's asking the same.

Brian Green (58:11)

Everybody's asking the same thing. And Rachel will be doing a press junket. It probably for the next month. She'll be doing it about her Netflix special. And there'll be some shows where she comes on for an hour and sits and raps. Probably going to know Brian is next. But then there are a lot, especially with actors and actresses around movies or television shows. Really what they do is they have 10 minutes with each person. It's scheduled back to back to back to back. They might do like nine hours in a day and just go, go, go, go, go. Same question over and over again. You see it when you watch some of these interviews like on Entertainment Tonight and stuff like that. The actors and the actresses are just worn out. They're like, I don't want to. Really? We got to answer the same Question over and over. But yes, you do. That's how it works. So we just said, hey, give us a fighting chance. Please don't put us in press junkets because we're not going to be good at that. This is not going to be good.

Rachel Feinstein (58:57)

Yeah.

Brian Green (58:58)

And so when someone like Rachel comes on and she's so open and conversational, and most of our guests have been.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (59:04)

Have been that way. Yeah.

Brian Green (59:05)

And it's just a real treat, I think, to sit down with somebody for an hour and. And have that kind of conversation. So thank you for putting up with us. If you're just tuning in, we're. Listen, we're a hot mess of a show, and the guest days are at least one day when we know we can focus on one person, one thing for just a couple minutes. What happens in that conversation? Who fucking knows? But at least we have some focus.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (59:28)

I was talking to somebody last night. They were like, what's it about?

Brian Green (59:32)

Oh, that terrible question.

Rachel Feinstein (59:34)

Friendship.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (59:37)

Friendship. But then that doesn't really. Like, they're like, what are you talking? What? Like, what did you talk about today? And I'm like, huh, Brian washing his butt? Teaching his kids to watch his something else.

Brian Green (59:50)

All kind of shit. Just shit. Who knows what we're talking about? That's why I say friendship, because it's easy. It's friendship. What do you talk about with your friends? Friends. My 401k, my. My Morgan. Oh, well, we don't have any of those things, so we just talk about other people's problems. It's so much fun. I love you, too. Love you. Out there in the podcast universe, you're the bestest in the entire world. And, hey, thanks to everybody who's been writing and telling us they would love to come to the shows that we soon will announce. Announce. Probably at some point. Yeah, we'll announce the dates, and we're super excited about that. So if you're in the Southeast, places like Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Orlando, Tampa, Miami, if you're in those places, those states, and you want to come to the show, just give us a text and let us know because we would love to know that anybody's showing up to these shows.

Rachel Feinstein (60:47)

I know.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (60:48)

I was also telling somebody last night that we, you know, were thinking about doing live shows and. But then it kind of got misconstrued like we were gonna do a live show on YouTube.

Brian Green (60:59)

Oh, yeah, we tried that. No, no one showed up. I think on Fireside one time, we had six people, but I believe it was just Tina and my wife logged in on multiple devices. I'm convinced.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (61:16)

Oh, fun time.

Brian Green (61:18)

One day we'll release that Wally Green episode. One day.

Rachel Feinstein (61:22)

The two parts.

Brian Green (61:23)

It's two parts, two and a half hours. It's crazy. But that guy does have a crazy life story.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (61:30)

All right, so that was a this is your life.

Brian Green (61:32)

That was a this is your life. It certainly was. You know, every step of his life for three hours, two parts, two different days. It's crazy. Anyway, maybe. Maybe I'll put that behind the paywall. Pay me a dollar 99. I'll let you listen to Wally Girl. Screen 212-4333. TCB. 212-4333. TCB. Text us. Or you can call us and leave us a voicemail. Questions? Comments, Concerns? Content? Ideas? Ask Brian's mom. I swear to God, she's gonna be on soon. She's been dealing with some health issues, but she's gonna be back soon. Ask TCB for advice. You want to have some running commentary on the show, please text us. We would love to hear from you. Or you can go to the the website tcbpodcast.com hit the contact us button. Drop us a line. You can also get your free TCB bumper sticker by going to the drop down menu on the contact us page. Give us your physical address, we'll send you a sticker, no charge. It's all on us. That's why we're bankrupt. And. And at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. Thanks, Dr. Phil.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (62:38)

Did he retire?

Brian Green (62:40)

Yeah, his show's over. Okay. Thank God. Yeah, that's all my mom watched. All right. I love you.

Kristen Joy Hoadley (62:45)

I love you.

Brian Green (62:46)

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Sam. Sa.