The Commercial Break – Episode: TCB Is Spitting Mad!

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: May 28, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break goes headlong into the absurdity of internet trends, bodily fluid kinks (especially spitting in someone’s mouth), and the exasperations of modern parenting. Bryan and Krissy, in their usual chaotic and irreverent banter, riff on the disgusting aspects of bodily fluids, viral social fads, the spectacle of Vegas’s Sphere, Atlanta’s “Gulch” redevelopment, and the never-ending pursuit of social media validation. If you’re new to the show, expect tangents galore, TMI storytelling, and lots of unfiltered comedy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Spitting as a “Kink” & Bodily Fluid Revulsion

• Bryan reacts to a viral article and movie scene about the “spitting in mouths” trend:

  • “No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t spit in my mouth. I know it seems sexy, but is it really sexy to spit in someone’s mouth?” (02:00)
  • Krissy confirms this is a hot topic, referencing the movie "Sinners" and pop culture’s new fascination with spitting-related intimacy.

• Bryan’s deep-seated disgust with bodily fluids:

  • “Pee, pee, poo, poo, ti, ti, tata, puke, spit, snot, earwax, all of it...my daughter is fascinated watching me groom my body. She’s like, why Dada? I’m like, you’ll know when you get older.” (03:41)

• Comic tangent about viral chest hair accounts:

  • “This guy glistens up his chest hair and gets 75,000 likes. Maybe I need to be doing that…” (04:42)

2. Family Vomit Horror Story

• Bryan regales a Memorial Day road trip parenting nightmare, involving one daughter projectile vomiting copious quantities of yogurt, cake pops, and chips in the back seat:

  • “She just comes unglued in the mouth everywhere, spraying everywhere like something out of a sci-fi movie. And I’m like, ah, I’m going 80 miles per hour down the HOV lane...” (11:22)
  • Notable moment: Both hosts riff on the impossibility of cleaning the goo and speculate about abandoning the booster seat, but laugh about Walmart security cameras and the perils of modern parenthood.
  • “There is a film. A white mucusy film that is stuck to the inside of the cloth that wraps around the seat...it was like curdled milk. Yes. Oh, disgusting.” (19:58)

• Moral of the story:

  • “And now you fuckers want to go and spit in each other’s mouths. That’s what comes out of your mouth...That’s assault. You should go to jail.” (20:16)

3. Sphere, Concert Visuals, and the Gulch

• Kenny Chesney’s residency at The Sphere sparks a tangent about Sphere technology and the economics of concert visuals:

  • “It reportedly costs $400,000 per song to create the visuals...How in the world do you make any fucking money when you’re paying $400,000 per song?” (30:53)
  • The hosts discuss licensing, how bands like Phish could never afford custom visuals for four nights, and how the Sphere is a “technological marvel.”

• Atlanta’s new “Mini-Sphere” and Gulch redevelopment:

  • Krissy notes: “You need to know that Atlanta is getting a mini one – down at the Gulch.” (33:03)
  • Bryan gives a brief Atlanta train/real estate history and ribs about city development pandering to FIFA for the World Cup.
  • “All to suck the dick of FIFA to make sure that FIFA comes here…And you want. How many games are being played here? You don't want to know how many games. Like, six.” (36:13)

4. The Quest for Viral Fame (and Facing Social Media Algorithms)

• Bryan’s ongoing social media frustrations:

  • “Just chasing those views, vapid and endlessly sad as I am.” (05:16)
  • He wonders if shadow-banning or Mark Zuckerberg’s wrath could explain why some posts flop.
  • “Maybe if I start putting a fist in my mouth and look like I’m taking a yahoo on the floor, then...I’m telling you and filming your grooming routine.” (47:09)

• Krissy suggests Bryan should film his actual grooming as chest-hair content for TikTok, poking fun at quirky viral trends.

5. Absurd Social Trends: Face Massage MLMs & Odd Instagram Stories

• Face massaging fads:

  • Bryan is bemused by the Instagram obsession with lymphatic face massage, skeptical of “secret techniques” marketed in MLM/affiliate schemes.
  • “We’re doing that now. We’re going to sell MLM face massaging... I’m not opposed to face massaging.” (42:19)

• Unwell social posts:

  • Stories of influencers posting cryptic, nonsensical notes then NSFW selfies, then pivoting to wellness tips.
  • “Sizza wizza wapa woo, look at my beautiful tattoo. I’m taking a dump on the floor. And then massage your face. You can change the shape of it, literally. I don’t understand. I’m not getting it.” (45:39)

6. Show Community & Upcoming “TCB Endless Day”

• Hyping the 12-hour “TCB’s Endless Day” live show on May 31 (10am-10pm):
  • Interactive plans, listener call-ins, and the usual unstructured unpredictability.
  • “All of this, we’re attempting all of this, by the way, could happen the way we hope, could happen another way.” (53:25)

7. Lighthearted Banter: Hair, OnlyFans & Merch

• Bryan considers growing out his hair (head and/or body) for content or charity, while Krissy jokes about merkins and the niche market for Bryan’s clippings.
• “You want to put my hair on your dick? Call me 212-433-TC[B]...” (50:30)
• Listener interaction prompts, sticker reminders, and mocking of social media engagement rituals pepper transitions throughout the episode.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Don’t spit in my mouth… That is a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t spit in my mouth. I know it seems sexy, but is it really sexy?” – Bryan (05:13 / recurring through 20:16)

• “A film. A white mucusy film that is stuck to the inside…like curdled milk. Oh, disgusting.” – Bryan (19:58)

• “Stop spitting in each other’s mouths. The CDC stopped reporting on up and coming contagious pandemics. So guess what? We’re fucked if you guys start spitting in each other’s mouth.” – Bryan (21:03)

• “Call me old fashioned. I’m the kind of guy who likes to get pegged while I’m high on cocaine. Okay. Call me old fashioned.” – Bryan (joking about generational morals) (21:53)

• On Sphere concert visuals:

  • “It reportedly costs $400,000 per song... How in the world do you make any fucking money...?” – Bryan (30:53)

• “We’re going to sell MLM face massaging. Come on. I’m not opposed to face massaging.” – Bryan (42:19)

Important Timestamps

• 00:03-01:59 – Parody “WSHIT” prayer call segment, tongue-in-cheek televangelism.
• 02:00-04:42 – Spitting kink commentary, chest hair envy, Instagram absurdities.
• 11:22-20:16 – Vomit-in-the-car story (the episode’s comedic centerpiece).
• 29:00-32:59 – The Sphere deep dive, concert visuals, and licensing economics.
• 33:00-38:37 – Atlanta Gulch/SIM Group/World Cup, city planning deep cut.
• 41:29-46:39 – Face massaging, unhinged Instagram posts, OnlyFans sales.
• 52:00-54:14 – Prepping for "TCB’s Endless Day" and embracing the show’s chaos.

Tone and Style

Bryan and Krissy tackle taboo topics and mundane annoyances alike with genuine friendship, self-deprecation, and a dash of Dad Energy. They oscillate between disgust, curiosity, and total bafflement at the internet’s fads, but always with comedic riffing and wild story tangents. Expect explicit language, offbeat analogies, and no shortage of bodily humor.

For New Listeners

This episode is emblematic of TCB’s style: unfiltered, digressive, and bursting with “just fine” (and occasionally gross) observations of modern life. The show is for those who find comfort in chaotic comedy and don’t mind hearing about vomit, unorthodox kinks, and the logistics of cleaning old yogurt out of a child’s car seat. All backed by the camaraderie of two best friends who, for better or worse, always keep it real.

Next up: TCB’s 12-hour "Endless Day" event on May 31—listener participation encouraged!
Text/call: 212-433-3822 for a sticker, comment, or your own TCB moment!