TCB Is Spitting Mad!

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode: "TCB Is Spitting Mad!"

Release Date: May 28, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley

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1. Introduction to Episode Theme

Timestamp: [05:00] - [05:46]
The episode kicks off with Bryan and Krissy addressing a humorous and somewhat chaotic situation involving spitting, setting a playful yet critical tone for the discussions ahead.

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2. The Great Car Mishap

Timestamp: [05:46] - [21:38]
Bryan Green recounts an unforgettable family road trip episode where their youngest child unexpectedly vomits in the car:

• Describing the Chaos:
  "Pouring out of her mouth like those hippopotamus, those rhinos that were pissing gallons of liquid out of their assholes." ([07:08])
  Bryan vividly illustrates the panic and mess, emphasizing the overwhelming nature of the incident.

• Handling the Situation:
  The hosts discuss their frantic attempts to mitigate the situation, including rolling down windows and hastily searching for cleaning supplies. Bryan humorously laments the inefficiency of gas station supplies:
  "There's probably the attendant...packets of wipes that are 10 years old and dried out in there, and they're gonna cost me $38." ([02:49])

• Cleaning Up:
  They detail the arduous task of cleaning the vehicle, including using industrial-grade cleaning agents to remove the lingering odors and residues:
  "When we take the cloth off of that thing, there is a film...it was puke that had stuck." ([13:20])

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3. Social Media Trends and Body Image

Timestamp: [21:38] - [54:50]
The conversation shifts to the peculiar trends emerging on social media, particularly focusing on spitting as a newfound kink and the obsession with body hair and face massages.

• Spitting as a Kink:
  Bryan expresses strong disapproval of spitting in mouths, criticizing its portrayal in media and its perceived normalization:
  "Don't spit in my mouth. I know it seems sexy, but is it really sexy to spit in someone's mouth?" ([05:00])

• Body Hair Obsession:
  The hosts delve into the fascination with body hair showcased on platforms like Instagram. Bryan humorously vents his disdain for body hair while recognizing others' attraction to it:
  "Brian is generally grossed out by any bodily fluid...I hate body hair." ([07:38])

• Face Massaging Trends:
  They critique the latest face massage fads, mocking the exaggerated claims of altering facial structures through such practices:
  "It's a dramatic interpretation...to change the shape of your face with massage." ([50:03])

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4. Kenny Chesney's Sphere Concert

Timestamp: [54:50] - [43:42]
Bryan and Krissy segue into a discussion about Kenny Chesney's recent performances at the Sphere, a state-of-the-art concert venue.

• Venue Features:
  They highlight the Sphere's technological marvels, including its 16K visuals and immersive audio systems, comparing it to Disney's 5D experiences:
  "It's in 16K. It's got millions and billions of LEDs...it's like one of those Disney World rides." ([36:51])

• Visual Comparisons:
  Bryan draws parallels between the Sphere's visuals and those of recent Grateful Dead performances, noting similarities in scene transitions:
  "They looked at some videos and they said, this visual and that visual...scene for scene, almost." ([35:24])

• Investment and Economics:
  They humorously speculate on the exorbitant costs associated with creating such advanced visuals, questioning the financial sustainability:
  "It costs $400,000 per song to create the visuals. How in the world do you make any fucking money?" ([36:51])

• Future of Concert Experiences:
  The hosts express excitement about upcoming mini Spheres in Atlanta, anticipating enhanced experiences for events like the 2026 World Cup:
  "It's a great experience...unbelievable. They have scents, they have the wind...they really do look like you're at the game." ([34:38])

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5. Personal Anecdotes and Banter

Timestamp: [43:42] - [59:36]
Bryan and Krissy share personal stories and engage in light-hearted banter, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

• Hair Growth Struggles:
  Bryan reflects on a past experience where he prematurely shaved his hair for a wedding, leading to marital strife:
  "When I think about trying, I think about Brian...I shaved it off. And of all the arguments that Julia and I had, that was one of the worst." ([56:45])

• Children's Influence:
  They discuss how parenting challenges, like keeping children entertained during long drives, often lead to amusing scenarios:
  "Any good parent knows that that's a good technique. So we give the kids, including the youngest one, the iPad..." ([12:24])

• Social Media Algorithms:
  Bryan humorously critiques Instagram's algorithm, suggesting that talking about certain topics (like Mark Zuckerberg) might result in reduced visibility:
  "Maybe if I start putting a fist in my mouth and look like I'm taking a yahoo on the floor..." ([55:34])

• Face Massager Fiasco:
  Continuing the discussion on face massagers, Bryan hilariously describes an over-the-top scenario where social media influencers push bizarre beauty trends:
  "She's putting out a post...about massaging your face...she looks like she's about to take a shit on the ground." ([52:44])

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6. Upcoming Events and Conclusion

Timestamp: [59:36] - [62:50]
The episode wraps up with announcements about upcoming events and interactive segments.

• TCB Endless Deck Day:
  Bryan and Krissy tease an event scheduled for Saturday, May 31, encouraging listeners to participate by texting in questions and joining live interactions:
  "You are going to get endless amounts of TCB on TCB's endless deck day. And we can't wait for it." ([61:13])

• Interactive Engagement:
  They invite listeners to engage via text or social media, promising free stickers and potential feature segments:
  "Text us questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas...follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break." ([61:50])

• Closing Remarks:
  The hosts conclude with affectionate goodbyes, reinforcing their camaraderie and appreciation for their audience:
  "Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say...goodbye." ([62:40])

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Notable Quotes

• Brian Greene:
  "Don't spit in my mouth. I know it seems sexy, but is it really sexy to spit in someone's mouth?" ([05:00])

• Chris Hoadley:
  "Scroll funny? Frustratingly funny." ([00:23])

• Pastor Judith Cagles:
  "What can we pray for today? What can we pray the Lord will do for David?" ([04:05])

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Insights and Themes

• Parenting Challenges:
  The episode humorously explores the chaotic realities of parenting, especially during family trips, highlighting the unpredictability and messiness of family life.

• Social Media Critique:
  Bryan and Krissy offer a satirical take on current social media trends, questioning the authenticity and value of emerging fads.

• Technological Fascination:
  Their discussion on Kenny Chesney's Sphere concert underscores a fascination with cutting-edge technology in entertainment, while also poking fun at its high costs and extravagant nature.

• Personal Growth and Relationships:
  Through personal anecdotes, the hosts delve into themes of personal grooming, relationship dynamics, and the struggle between individual preferences and societal expectations.

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Conclusion

"TCB Is Spitting Mad!" is a quintessential episode of The Commercial Break, blending chaotic humor with relatable anecdotes and sharp social commentary. Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley navigate through a series of humorous misadventures, offering listeners a blend of laughter, wit, and candid conversation. Whether dissecting the latest social media trends or recounting family fiascos, the hosts maintain an engaging and unpolished charm that resonates with their audience.

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Stay Connected:

• Website: tcbpodcast.com
• Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
• YouTube: TheCommercialBreak

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Thank you for tuning into "TCB Is Spitting Mad!" Stay tuned for more unfiltered conversations and hilariously honest banter on The Commercial Break.

Transcript

[Chris Hoadley]

This episode is sponsored in part by 5 Hour Energy Cinco Domingo. Okay, you know you like to get all your facts from the commercial break. So here's some facts you may or may not know. I am hot. I am attractive. I am a super spicy human being. And hot people like hot foods according to the charts and graphs in an article I once read sometime.

[Brian Greene]

You get the point.

[Chris Hoadley]

I didn't make up the rules, I just read about them. And I happen to fit inside of the data points that say that hot people like hot food. That's why I was excited to try spicy Cinco de Mango, the new flavor from the makers of five Hour Energy. It's sweet, it's spicy. It's a tad unhinged and sweet. Spicy and unhinged is what my wife might say about me. You get the kick of hot chili flavor and then, bam. Mango sweetness swoops in like a saucy little twist. It's basically the drama your taste buds deserve. Hot people like hot foods and apparently hot energy shots, too. So if you think you're hot, and I know you do, prove it. Take the heat with five Hour Energy's spicy Cinco de Mango and their spicy hot sauce. Yeah, they went all in. Life's too short for bland. Spice it up this Cinco de Mayo. Get energized. Get spicy. 5 hour energy. Spicy Cinco de Mango is only available online for a limited time. Head to 5hourenergy.com to order yours today. That's Five Hour Energy.com and thanks to Five Hour Energy for being a sponsor of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored in part by Mint Mobile. Do you know what I find funny? Frustratingly funny. Like flat earth frustratingly funny. How much money we all pay for our cell phone bills every month. I look at that cell phone bill.

[Brian Greene]

And I go, that is for texting.

[Chris Hoadley]

Scrolling, and making a couple phone calls.

[Brian Greene]

Hasn't this technology been around for a while?

[Chris Hoadley]

Why am I paying so much? And why does it continue to get so much more expensive every year? I've reached my breaking point, and I.

[Brian Greene]

Think this is a psychic sign that I need to switch to Mint.

[Chris Hoadley]

With plans Starting at just $15 a month, Mint Mobile gives you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G network. You get the same fast speeds and solid coverage that you're used to, but.

[Brian Greene]

Without the how is this so expensive moment.

[Chris Hoadley]

Each month, every single plan includes high.

[Brian Greene]

Speed data, unlimited talk, and text. And here's the best part. You get to keep your phone, your number, your contacts, and switching over to Mint Mobile. Totally painless.

[Chris Hoadley]

We have been using Mint Mobile for.

[Brian Greene]

My in laws mobile service.

[Chris Hoadley]

When they come into town I get to save real money without actually giving up anything that I'm used to. So this year skip breaking a sweat.

[Brian Greene]

And breaking the bank.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get your summer savings and shop premium Wireless [e-mail] TCB that's mintmobile.com TCB Upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required. That's the equivalent of $15 per month. New customer offer for the first three months only.

[Brian Greene]

Then full price plan options are available.

[Chris Hoadley]

Taxes and fees are extra at seed Mint Mobile.

[Brian Greene]

For more details.

[Pastor Judith Cagles]

And welcome back to WSHIT's waiting on an Answer. Each Sunday evening in thoughtful discussion with the Lord, we take your questions and requests and put them through to the big guy. And joining us this week as the omniscient operator is the one and only Pastor Judith Cagles. Pastor Kegles has been squeezing hard to get those answers you're looking for in life, love and the pursuit of a bigger bank account. As the Lord would have wanted. Our first prayer request comes from David. David states, I recently lost all my hair in a terrible fishing accident. And while I can lay claim to having caught Crabapple's largest turtle toed bass, my hair has left me out of luck with the ladies. Pastor Cagle, I feel if I had a job, a bed that I didn't have to blow up, or my own vehicle, I might not be so lonesome when it comes to love. Well, Pastor Cagle, you, you've got your hands tied with this one. What can we pray for today? What can we pray the Lord will do for David to improve his chances of laying seed with the good ladies of Crabapple?

[David]

I love to pray for people, for cars. You say I need a car. Well, get on the phone, tell us what kind of car that you need, tell us what kind and we're going to believe God for your car. Now, this car is a sanctified car. So it goes to church, picks up people for church. It doesn't play raunchy music, have sex in the backseat? No, this sanctified car, no wrecks. You know, it's not a lemon. This is a really, really good car.

[Pastor Judith Cagles]

Well, David, I think you're well on your way to finding that true love. As a matter of fact, give me a call when you get that brand new car. Nothing tickles me in the godly spot quite like a six stroke turbo engine running under those patent leather seats. Oh, we've got so many more consumer goods to pray for. When we get back after this commercial break.

[Brian Greene]

On this episode of the commercial break. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't spit in my mouth. I know it seems sexy, but is it really sexy to spit in someone's mouth? You what? Who? What did they have for dinner? Do you even know? Do you know where that mouth is, Ben? Are they the kind of person who would suck off the teat of a public water fountain? What kind of human is throwing their tonsil juice down the back of your throat? Stop it. Stop it already. Everyone's acting like children around here. That's what children do. They spit in each other's mouths, not adults. We're stopping it right now. Everybody cut it out. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah boy. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.

[Brian Greene]

I'm Brian Greene.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you, Chris.

[Emma Greed]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. Here we are. I'm reading an interesting article that Tina sent me about spitting and how spitting is the new hot kink.

[Pastor Judith Cagles]

Kink?

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, no, I was telling you about that.

[Brian Greene]

What in the fuck are we talking about? What?

[Emma Greed]

Uh huh. Cause it was in the, the movie Sinners, I guess I haven't seen that movie, but.

[Brian Greene]

So people were like spitting in each other's mouths.

[Emma Greed]

There's a kink for everyone.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, you listen to two seconds of the commercial break. Then you know this. Brian is generally grossed out by any bodily fluid. You are peepee, poo, poo, ti, ti, tata, puke, spit, snot, earwax, all of it. I don't care. All of it makes me disgust. I'm disgusted by body hair and I have so much of it you don't even understand. It is a constant grooming going on in my house. My daughter is fascinated watching me groom my body. She's like, why Dada? I'm like, you'll know when you get older.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then I see this guy on.

[Brian Greene]

Instagram, he has got such a. A large amount of chest hair. You've never seen anything like it. He gets in the shower or he oils it up and he'll stick the phone right on his belly. So what you're seeing is like his face through all the glistening chest hair. 75,000 likes. Of course, Brian tells a haha and he gets two likes on Instagram. This guy glistens up his chest hair and gets 75,000 likes.

[Emma Greed]

Maybe you need to be doing.

[Brian Greene]

Maybe I do. Maybe I do. I'm going to talk to Chad about that.

[Emma Greed]

Or filming your. Your grooming.

[Brian Greene]

I should film my grooming.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Well, I just got permission to go live on. On TikTok. I had asked for this for months and months, so I thought what I would do is maybe go live on TikTok while I'm editing the show and let people watch me edit the show. And then I thought, what a snooze fest, Brian. Who fucking cares? No one cares about the show, let alone editing the show, you dipshit.

[Emma Greed]

But you're. You're. You're grooming.

[Brian Greene]

Grooming, though. I bet you I'd get a million views on that. I'd be made fun of Mercer mercilessly, but at least I'd get some views. Just chasing those views. Vapid and vapid and endlessly sad as I am. So I just don't like bodily fluid and I don't like the thought of. I like the thought of kissing my wife. I don't mind her saliva. There's nothing wrong with it. As well as other fluids in the act of coitus. I don't care. I don't get ticklish about it. I'm not upset by it. But I don't want you spitting in my mouth on purpose. That is a. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't spit in my mouth. I know it seems sexy, but is it really sexy to spit in someone's mouth? You.

[Pastor Judith Cagles]

What?

[Brian Greene]

Who? What did they have for dinner? Do you even know? Do you know where that mouth has been? Are they the kind of person who would suck off the teat of a public water fountain? What kind of human is throwing their tonsil juice down the back of your throat? Stop it. Stop it already. Everyone's acting like children around here. That's what children do. They spit in each other's mouths. Not adults. We're stopping it right now. Everybody cut it out. If you're into this, I want to hear from you so I can give you a good talking to. Like your papa. Like your great uncle. I'm going to talk to you and tell you that there are. Yes. We don't have a CDC anymore alerting us to diseases running around the world. Did you know that? Did you know that they stopped alerting to diseases? That they cut out that part? Yeah, it does. It does make sense. Why do we need to know about the next dangong fever that's coming from Far flung Antarctica. So this is the perfect time to be having the spit kink come flying out of the woodwork. Dumb asses. What are we doing? Spit king. Let me tell you something about what happened over the weekend and I'll explain to you why I have a little bit of unease about bodily fluids. We're driving to my father's house for the holiday in the old family truckster, the 1922 SUV. Wood paneled SUV that even if it was worth any money, is not worth anything now because there's Cheerios that have literally become part of the leather. Yeah, you think I'm joking.

[Emma Greed]

No, I know you're not. I've gotten into other kid cars.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. One. One of my consoles is made of Froot Loops, in case anybody was wondering. And the other one is made of old yogurt.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, yogurt packs.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, exactly. You know the gogurts. That's right, the go. Oh, the gogurts. Those gotta be healthy for you. 72 grams of sugar. They're water. They're like weird. Consistent yogurt should have some fluff to it. It shouldn't just pour out of like, like a juice. Anyway, we're driving sometimes. Even though Astrid and I have some pretty strict rules around screens in the house. Like you can watch TV when everybody in the family room when everybody else is watching it. And you cannot watch YouTube or short videos. You can watch long format, half hour, hour, two hour long movies. There's just some general rules. We have to try and save some semblance of sanity for our children. Now, we're not 100% great at it, but we're pretty good at it. I think we've learned. We tried.

[Emma Greed]

You think about trying, we think about trying.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. When I think about trying, I think about Brian. When I think about trying, I think about Brian.

[Emma Greed]

I like it.

[Brian Greene]

I like it too. So we get in the car, all 30 of us smushing everybody in with. You gotta imagine it's Astrid and I in the front seat and then just a row of different sized chairs. Yeah, Couple rows. But there's different size chairs, you know, booster seats and car seats and baby seats. All this other shit that's back there that are like Tetris. My wife plays Tetris. To get those things to fit in exactly how they are.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, it's an art.

[Brian Greene]

You have to Google it. You have to make the combination. There are whole YouTube personality. Yes, there are YouTube personalities that tell you which chairs. Like they do. Like they. Honestly, it's Tetris. It's a math. Do you have a three year old plus a seven year old, plus a two year old plus a one year old plus a baby plus a dog? Here's the best car for you and I'm going to tell you the exact seats you need to get and how you put them in there. And they do it and it's a, it's a niche and they do it very well. And my wife loves one of the ladies. It's like the car lady, the car girl, whatever, the car mom or something like that. And she's really good at what she does. Millions and millions of people watch this lady review cars and how you can coordinate to put seats in there. And for moms and dads and all, it's okay. So this second row right behind Astrid and I is one of these tetrist put in exactly the way it's supposed to be kind of thing. So you can't move them, they're hard to buckle. But if you can manage to get your hand beneath it, then you can pick up.

[Emma Greed]

Double jointed.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, exactly. You'll find you have to be double jointed and it's likely you're going to get a bruise on your arm just sticking it in between there. But you'll get the seat buckled and you'll probably get a Mickey Mouse toy and some kind of old ice cream from McDonald's or something like that on your hand in the meantime. So we put everybody in the car and we have a rule, okay? If it's longer than a two hour drive, you are allowed to watch your iPad. We will download some movies. Maybe we have one of those Mickey Mouse puzzle games on there. You can watch your iPad for a little while. Just because no one. You don't want bored children in a car now because then they're just going to irritate the shit out of you, asking you every two seconds, when do we eat? I have to go to the bathroom or when do we get there? Now none of those things are pressing when they have a screen in front of them. All of a sudden they don't have to pee, they're not hungry, and it doesn't matter what time we get there.

[Emma Greed]

It's magic distraction.

[Brian Greene]

It's a distraction. It's parenting by distraction. And any good parent knows that that's a good technique. So we give the kids, including the youngest one, the iPad and we say, okay, you know, here we go, we get in the car, we go, we're. It's Memorial Day weekend. There's a lot of traffic. We're sitting in that traffic. Stop and go, stop and go, Stop and go on the highway. Ba, ba, ba. We haven't even made it a tenth of the way up there. We've been in the car for like 30, 35 minutes. And finally it clears up a little bit. Here we go. We're going 80 miles per hour in the HOV lane. Zooming down. And I'm like, okay, we're. It's going to take us a while to get there, but at least we're moving now. And I hear my daughter, the youngest one. It sounds a little weird to me. Like my dad's spidey sense goes off. And I turn around and she's like, behind Astrid. So I turn around and look at her. I'm like, you okay? Yeah, Daddy. And I'm like. I look at Astrid and I go, she's gonna vomit. Because I know she's gonna vomit because that's a weird cough that came out of nowhere. And Astrid goes, she's not gonna vomit. And I go, she's gonna vomit. And Astrid's like, she's not gonna vomit. She's just coughing everywhere. Spraying out of her mouth.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, God.

[Brian Greene]

Pouring out of her mouth like those hippopotamus, those rhinos that were pissing gallons of liquid out of their assholes. This child has just come unglued in the mouth.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, no.

[Brian Greene]

Everywhere. Spraying everywhere. Like something out of a sci fi movie. And I'm like, ah. I'm going 80 miles per hour down the HOV line here. I got my blinker on. I'm going over the double yellow line. I'm. I'm not going to kill anybody. But I'm moving as quick as I can because I see an exit and it's coming quick. And if I pass it, it's another three miles and we're going to have to live with what is the most unbelievable smell you have ever smelled. My oldest child is like, dad. Dad. That smells so bad. Dad. Dad. And I'm like, I know, I know. Shut up.

[Emma Greed]

Don't think about it.

[Brian Greene]

Don't think.

[Emma Greed]

Go back to watching your show.

[Brian Greene]

That's what I said. I go, it's not about you. It's about her. Meanwhile, she's like, oh, God. Just like four. Really Just vomit as disgusting layers of crap everywhere. And it smells like the. It smells like what vomit smells like?

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, it does.

[Brian Greene]

That smell that is embedded into the back of our throats. We all know it. It's terrible. I hate it. I hate it. I roll down all the windows. I zoom over five, six, seven, 12 lanes, whatever it is. In Atlanta, there's like 12 lanes on each one. I zoom over. I managed to get in. Like, I'm right. I'm doing exactly what I hate, what people do, and that is rolling over those, you know, the very last second, about to hit the median just so I can get over. And I do. And we pull over and Astrid's like, oh, my God. And I'm like, what do we. You know, what do you. What do we need? What do we need? And she's like, well, we need some wipes, so stop at this gas station. And I'm like, that's gonna need more than wipes. We need something more than that. Open up my. I open up my. Exactly. That's what we need is a hose. But, you know, where are you gonna find a hose? Right?

[Emma Greed]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And so open up my. My Google Maps or my whatever. And I say, hey, find me the nearest grocery store. There's a Walmart five miles. Oh, God, I hate away. Yeah, because what we're sitting in is a rinky dink gas station that there's probably the attendant. There's probably packages of wipes that are 10 years old and dried out in there, and they're gonna cost me $38. And so I'm like, oh, my God. Okay, let's just go. Windows, sunroof, everything's down. One of my kids is in the back just, you know, complaining. Now, this smell, he keeps on saying. My oldest keeps on saying, dad, the smell is really bad. And I'm like, now I'm getting gaggy. I'm like, I know. And I'm like, just look forward. Put your head out the window. I don't care. You know, we'll get there. We pull into the Walmart parking lot. We park way over in this side, like, where there's nobody. And I'm like, okay. And Astrid already knows. She already knows that I'm not going to be the one to go back there and touch that puke. So I'm like, what do we need? So we make a list. You know, wipes, paper towels, spray bottle, whatever. I go in as quick as I can, come back out with bags of stuff, like, as much, way more than I would ever need. But just in case, gloves, you know, masks. And Astrid's already pretty much taken care of a lot of it. She has a whole grocery bag full of napkins, paper towels and everything. And I'm like, oh, my God. But I can. The smell is so bad, so hard.

[Emma Greed]

To get it out.

[Brian Greene]

And she's like, listen, I think we need to spray this thing off or honestly, I don't know that it's ever going to come out. And I'm like, it's never going to come out. It's. That was the wateriest, weirdest. Let me tell you what my daughter had for breakfast, which was the mistake. Yogurt, a cake pop from Starbucks, potato chips, a juice and some eggs. Because we were just trying to get packed up to go. And so she's just like grazing around the house. So the poor thing just has a belly full of bullshit. And then she's watching an iPad, she's getting motion sick. I think that's what it is. Okay, so now Astrid and I are standing out in the parking lot. Kids are in the, like. Now I have the hatch back open. And they're just sitting in the back on the luggage, like sitting on the luggage. And Astrid and I are convening, we're having a husband wife moment.

[Emma Greed]

And I'm like, start saying the situation.

[Brian Greene]

I don't know what we can do about this. She says, well, listen, one of the kids is old enough to have a booster seat, so I suppose we could. I could go into Walmart, see if there's a seat that will fit the situation, and we could just toss this one. And I'm like, where are we going to toss it? And she's like, I don't know. And I go, I think we could like leave it over in the grass over here. But I look up, there's cameras everywhere. I'm like, nah, I guess we can't leave it in the grass. You know what we can do? Why don't we get one of those industrial construction bags, the kind that they put the garbage bags, they put construction debris in. Let's get it. We'll throw a bunch of those bleach wipes in there so it doesn't smell so bad.

[Emma Greed]

What?

[Brian Greene]

We'll wrap it up, we'll throw it in the back of the car and when we get to my dad's, we can hose it down. Oh, and see if we can give it to the women's shelter or something like that. Like that, right? Something. I don't know what. We can sell it for 10 bucks, give it away. The target sometimes has a drop off that you can drop it off. Okay, so we wrap it up, we open all the windows. Finally we get some of the smell out of there. It's still lingering, but it's much better, you know, at least you can deal with it. I keep the windows open the entire drive. We're going like 90 down the highway and the windows are open. My kids faces are plastered back and they're like, can you roll up the window? No, no, I cannot. I'm not gonna get that shit. Once it gets in the air conditioning filter, it'll never get out. All right, so we get to my dad's house, we put. We take that thing.

[Emma Greed]

This is like two hours. Three hours.

[Brian Greene]

Three hours away. Three hours away. Three hours to go because of the traffic, right? So we get to my dad's house, we take that thing out, we put it on the side of the driveway, and, you know, we tell my. My parents, okay, hey, we'll. We'll get to it, we'll clean it or whatever. So everybody unpacks. A couple hours later, they're cooking dinner, and I'm like, okay, you want to just go out and see if we can clean that thing at least? So the smell that is not there. And we can wrap it up, bring it home, put it in a dumpster. I don't know, something tackle it. Chrissy. We take that thing apart and we take the cloth off of that thing. And when we take the cloth off of that thing, there is a film. A film. A white mucusy film that is stuck to the inside of the cloth that wraps around the seat of the car seat. When we start spraying it, that film comes apart like, I don't know, like slime that you would make at your house. Like homemade slime. Starts coming apart in pieces and literally rolling down the driveway. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen in my entire life. It was like. Oh, just like curdled milk. Yes. Oh, disgusting.

[Emma Greed]

Was it part of the seat, like a film from.

[Brian Greene]

No, no, it was puke that had stuck. It gotten in the crevices, and in the two hours, three hours that we were in the car had solidified into a whole new texture and taste for all the kids.

[Emma Greed]

Well, it was all the wind. It was dry.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. The wind and the heat. Yes. It was gross. And now you want to go and spit in each other's mouths. That's what comes out of your mouth. Pee, pee, poo poo out the other end. And now you have a kink that you want to get spit in. And I didn't say spit on. I said spit in. Leave each other alone. That's assault. You should go to jail. Unbelievable. Do you have a kink to be spit in the mouth?

[Emma Greed]

No, that's not one of mine.

[Brian Greene]

What Is one of yours.

[Emma Greed]

That's for another show.

[Brian Greene]

Well, which show is it for if it's not for the commercial break? I'd like to know.

[Emma Greed]

Inquiring minds want to know for another episode.

[Brian Greene]

Okay.

[Emma Greed]

All right, we'll break that down.

[Brian Greene]

Stop spitting in each other's mouths. The CDC stopped reporting on up and coming contagious pandemics. So guess what? We're fucked if you guys start spitting in each other's mouth. And all of a sudden we have the, you know, I don't know, yogurt, potato chipovitis comes flying about because someone just got motion sick, hurled in the back of an Uber, got out, stumbled up to your house drunk and decided to start spitting in your mouth. Films of bullshit that's been stuck in the back of their tooth. Gross. Can't believe this.

[Emma Greed]

What if they didn't throw up and they brushed their teeth?

[Brian Greene]

Still, I take under consideration. I take under consideration a little extra saliva exchange in the process of kissing. Spitting.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Call me old fashioned. Call me old fashioned. Call me old fashioned. I'm the kind of guy who likes, you know. I'm the kind of guy who likes to get pegged while I'm high on cocaine. Okay. Call me old fashioned.

[Emma Greed]

Exactly. The old fashioned way.

[Brian Greene]

The old fashioned way. Spitting is not a kink. It's a. I don't know, it's a. Passing of diseases. Yes. That's what it is. Unbelievable. A hazard. That's a good way to put it. Not a kink. It's a hazard. And everyone's got to stop it. And I don't care what movie or television show it was in. It's just. It's enough already. Where are we going with this? What's next? What's next? We're gonna be spitting at each other's eyeballs. I love it. I love conjunctivitis. So sexy. I love pink, gooey eyes. Exactly. Ew. Stop it. All right. Okay. I'll let everyone finish their breakfast now.

[Emma Greed]

Thank you.

[Brian Greene]

We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Chris Hoadley]

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy.

[Brian Greene]

It is to earn a reputation, even.

[Chris Hoadley]

If it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted, but in reality, it's accepted it at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%. So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook.

[Brian Greene]

In that case, judge away.

[Chris Hoadley]

Based on the February 2024 Nelson Report.

[Brian Greene]

Learn more at discover.com credit card I'm.

[Unknown]

Emma Greed and I've spent the last 20 years building, running and investing in some incredible businesses. I've co founded a multi billion dollar unicorn and had my hand in several other companies that have generated hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. The more success I've had, the more people started coming to me with questions. How do you start a business? How do you raise money? How do I bounce back from failure? So it got me thinking. Why not just ask the people I aspire to the most? How did they actually do what they do? I'm so incredibly lucky to know some of the smartest minds out there, and now I'm bringing their insights along with mine, unfiltered directly to you. On my new podcast, Aspire with Emma Greed, I'll dive into the big questions everyone wants to know about success in business and in life. Through weekly conversations. You'll get the tangible tools, the real no BS stories, and undeniable little hacks that actually help you level up, listen to and follow Aspire with Emma Greed and Odyssey Podcast Available now. Wherever you get your podcasts, this episode.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed succeed online. Whether you're launching your first site or leveling up your business, Squarespace has everything you need. You can claim your domain, showcase your work with a beautiful professional website, and even get paid all in one place. Four versions of the Commercial Break website have been designed and built using Squarespace, and one of my favorite things about Squarespace is How easy it makes offering services. You can set up a sleek, customized website that not only attracts clients, but also streamlines your workflow. You can schedule appointments, send on brand invoices, and even handle online payments. But we must talk about design because let's be honest, first impressions matter. With Squarespace's cutting edge design tools, you do not need to be a web designer to make something stunning. Their blueprint AI helps generate a custom website in minutes. Or you can choose from their award winning templates and easily tweak them to match your brand. It's drag and drop simple, but the results look like you hired a professional. So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your current website, now is the time. Head to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, you can use the code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com commercial and use the code commercial when you're ready to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace has long been a sponsor of the commercial break. And we endorse it because we use it. It helps entrepreneurs, content creators, small businesses and large businesses alike develop and design an online brand that is beautiful and functional. Squarespace.com commercial and use the code commercial.

[Brian Greene]

And thank you to Squarespace for being.

[Chris Hoadley]

A continuing sponsor of the commercial break.

[Brian Greene]

Kenny Chesney is doing the sphere.

[Emma Greed]

Old chestnuts.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, Chesnuts chestnuts. I'm gonna sit right here and hear another steer in Mexico.

[Emma Greed]

That was a pretty country song.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, he's. I think he's. He's country for sure. But he's more of a Jimmy Buffett type. I think his probably would be.

[Emma Greed]

That's true.

[Brian Greene]

He has a lot of songs that are country. But, you know, Jimmy had a kind of a country ish flavor too, to a lot of his songs. A lot of southern twang to Jimmy's. Jimmy's music. But Kenny, he's got that party vibe. I mean, back in the early 2000s, Kenny Chesney concert was the place to be.

[Emma Greed]

Did we go to one?

[Brian Greene]

I think we might have.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, at 949-the bull.

[Emma Greed]

I had a lot of country.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, there was.

[Emma Greed]

We did a lot of fill of country at that station.

[Brian Greene]

Well, I voiced a classic country music station legend 9 to 67 the legend. She did classic country all the time playing on a loop from a computer to 12 people in South Georgia. Yeah, that's right. But Kenny was. That was quite the ticket.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, My God, back in the mid 2000.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, 2009, 2010, he was huge. He'd sell out these huge stadiums. People would go and party all day long. He was like a. He was cultivating a very much a tour lifestyle. Maybe if not following people, following from Chesney show to Chesney show. But people would go, they would party. There would be a lot. Seen the whole thing. Kenny had this, you know, he did it. He kind of got the perfect connection with his audience.

[Emma Greed]

He did.

[Brian Greene]

Which was, let's party. Let's have a beer, let's have a good time. Let's get those island vibes going. You know, it's very much that Jimmy Buffett type feel to his shows and to his. I don't know, to the whole thing. Performance. So I hadn't heard the first thing about Kenny Chesney in a decade. I don't think I have heard the word Kenny Toad's words. Kenny Chesney in, in a decade.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, it's true. I mean, I don't know now that it's been mentioned. Yeah, I haven't either. I'm sure we're not really in that market.

[Brian Greene]

But yeah, Kenny Chesney was like, I don't own any Kenny Chesney music. But okay, have another beer in Mexico. Sounds like a cool song, right? And if you're going to just hang out all day and drink beer, at least back then that was my vibe too. Let's hang out all day and drink a Bud Light, cool by the pool. By the pool. I'm all about that. That sounds great to me. But Kenny at the Sphere was kind of out of left field a little bit.

[Emma Greed]

Well, maybe everybody's going to be super excited.

[Brian Greene]

Well, it's already started. He's on a 12 day run, I think, or 16 day run, something like that. And the first two, three of those happened over Memorial Day weekend and party weekend.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, makes sense.

[Brian Greene]

It's a great weekend to get out to Vegas. And right before the bitcoin. Bitcoin conference heads there, those two mixings of crowds. Perfect. It's perfect. So here's the point. So the Sphere. While I was reading an article about Kenny Chesney, I was like seeing people were posting stuff and the visuals are amazing, as they always are at seemingly every single Sphere event. Including the Eagles. Which Eagles? At the Sphere. Eagles are the band your dad listened to. You know what I'm saying? Like, I like the Eagles, love the Eagles, like some of their music very much. But I don't. There wasn't A lot seen at the Eagles. Do you know what I'm talking about? It was like endless reunion tours where you had to pay $700 to go see them at the. You know, the local arena and what. Anyway, you get it. Kenny Chesney. Cool. That kind of fits the motif a little bit. You know, people hanging out beforehand. And afterwards, big party scene. I can see that being a sphere kind of thing.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, Maybe there's. Some of the visuals were maybe like the ocean.

[Brian Greene]

Right.

[Emma Greed]

And you're like you're on an island. Yeah, island breeze.

[Brian Greene]

Exactly.

[Emma Greed]

Blowing.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Emma Greed]

The scent of coconut.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, they have scents.

[Emma Greed]

They do.

[Brian Greene]

Do they have the wind and they.

[Emma Greed]

Have a little breeze?

[Brian Greene]

Oh, they do. Oh, very interesting. From behind the screen, they have these big.

[Emma Greed]

No, it's like at your seats.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, it's at your seats. And it blows up. Oh, it's like one of those Disney World rides. 5D is what they called it. 5D. Five dicks coming at you. Okay, cool. But what some people pointed out, or what one article specifically pointed out, was it seemed an awful lot like those visuals reminded them of the visuals from the most recent Grateful Dead stand. Excuse me, the Dead stand there. And they did a little comparing. They went through and they looked at some videos and they said, this visual and that visual. This scene and that scene. And while some of the details were swapped out, like in one scene specifically with the Dead, you would go through into a box of old backstage passes.

[Emma Greed]

Yes, I remember seeing that.

[Brian Greene]

Tickets. Tickets up. Yeah, that's right. Well, Kenny Chesney had the exact same thing, only the details were swapped out. It was like a more generic kind of thing for Kenny Chesney, where the Dead had, like, specific dates and times and places they had played. So there were a lot of these comparisons, you know, scene for scene, almost. And he was like, well, what's up with that? And then that led to further digging. So when the sphere was put together. This sphere is like a $7.5 billion gargantuan tech project, essentially.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, it's a big deal.

[Brian Greene]

It's in 16K. It's got millions and billions of LEDs, you know, 10,000 speakers. No matter where you sit, the speakers are pointing your direction so you get the same sound. All of it. We've been through it. It's a technological marvel is what it is, inside and outside. But the challenge on the inside is that you literally have to create a half a sphere of visuals in 16K. You can't just take a couple of pictures and blow them up and hope that they fit inside the sphere. They have to be rendered in incredible detail to fit the screen and the projector so that it works seamlessly so you get that sensation that you're inside of whatever, you know you're seeing or inside of whatever it is.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, it's really cool.

[Brian Greene]

So a company I think out of Toronto started specializing in building these scenes. When U2 was the first one to bite off, they said, okay, we'll do a residency there. They were the first ones. It reportedly costs $400,000 per song to create.

[Emma Greed]

Per song.

[Brian Greene]

Per song, to create the visuals. Now, I checked this and double checked this in multiple places while we were sitting here to confirm that this is what Bono had said on a Reddit AMA, that it costs $400,000 per song. Per song. How in the world do you make any fucking money when you're paying $400,000 per song? Now, as Chrissy pointed out, probably the guy who owns the Sphere, the company who owns the Fear, the Sphere probably said to you too.

[Emma Greed]

It's the Live Nation guy.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, okay, you go do or no.

[Emma Greed]

Madison Square Garden.

[Brian Greene]

Madison Square Garden, yeah. He probably said to the visuals company, I'll tell you what, I'll give you a cut of every ticket. I'll give you licensing rights on the imagery. And he probably said to you too, I'll give you $6 million to play with, you know, an advance just for visual. Six million bucks. Go knock yourselves out. Let's make it the best that it can be, because it's going to be the best marketing ever if we start getting a bunch of Instagram videos showing how just how crazy this can be. And I bet that's how it works.

[Emma Greed]

But because they lost money first.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, they lost money, and they're probably losing money still because Chrissy and I were thinking about fish four nights, 10 songs a night, never repeating the same song. That's 40 songs. I'm doing quick math in my head. That's $160 billion. It costs billion with a B to create the visuals for that. To create the visuals for that. $160 billion to create the visual just for Fish. And that is an amazing amount of money that you can't recoup through ticket sales. It's just not going to happen. So there must be. I'm. I say this with zero point whatsoever, but to, but to point out that this is a huge gamble that this guy is taking, but it seems to be paying off in his favor because everyone wants to go to the Sphere and see a concert.

[Emma Greed]

It really Is a great experience, I have to say. Did you know that Atlanta is getting a mini one?

[Brian Greene]

I know.

[Emma Greed]

You saw that.

[Brian Greene]

I know. Down at the Gulch. Yeah, yeah, Atlanta. I know the guys who are. I know the company because I did business with them. Who is building the Gulch? Cim. The SIM Group out of Los Angeles, one of the larger. One of the world's largest private developers. And they bought essentially a big hole in the ground that Atlanta was, some of it. Where the Georgia. Excuse me, where Mercedes Benz Stadium, formerly the Georgia Dome, Phillips arena, now State Farm arena, and some other things were built on top of old train tracks. A train depot, if you would. There's a big train depot right outside of town. Like, you know, train tracks for days, where they switch out cars. It's essential. That's how. That's why Atlanta is what it is. It was a big train.

[Emma Greed]

It was called Terminus.

[Brian Greene]

Terminus. In the very beginning, all the trains would come here. If you're going through the Southeast or anywhere up the coast, you would come to Atlanta first, you know, connect your train car thingies and then go. I don't know. I don't know what happens. Something about that. So all these train tracks run right through some of the busiest part of the city, the most desirable land in the city. So what did they do? They built a big platform on top of it, on top of these train tracks, and then they just started building stuff on top of it, like State Farm arena, the Georgia Dome, the Mercedes Benz Stadium, Hotels.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. So there's essentially a big hole in the ground known locally as the Gulch. And there's parking lots down there. It's quite confusing, actually. It's a lot of different roadways and platforms and levels and all this other stuff, but at the very bottom of it is a bunch of train tracks. And yes, trains do run through it all the time. As a matter of fact, if you go to park for some events, you can see those trains running back and forth sometimes down underneath the State Farm arena, essentially. So it's just been a big eyesore. Hey, the kids are humped. It's just a big eyesore. Yeah, is what it is. And so for years, no one has known what to do with this Gulch until this group sim came in and they set out a bidding process. The city did. If you think, you know, what you can do with it, bid on it, show us what you can do, you know, design proposals, you know, whatever, we'll give you some city bonds to help you out with the financing. And so SIM Came in with a. I think it was a $12 billion bid to build a live work play community in this huge hole in the ground known as the Gulch. And so now it's going up. And one of the things we're getting is a mini sphere.

[Emma Greed]

Well, we're getting the World cup in 20 next year. Yeah, 26. Yeah. And so they're building all kinds of stuff around the city to accommodate that. And not pander. But what.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, pander. No, that's the right word. Pandering. Pandering to FIFA. Yes.

[Emma Greed]

And to FIFA. Yes. So I think that that mini sphere thing is going to. You're gonna be able to watch games like soccer slash football games. Like you're there at the game.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, lovely. Unbelievable. They already have one of these in Houston, I think, or Dallas. And I've seen it. It's very realistic. You really do look like you're at the game. The videos of it are crazy. Like, it looks like you're there, but you're not there. You're just watching this huge screen that encompasses the entire room, but the room is huge. Right. So we're getting all of this stuff, hotels, motels, you know, plat, whatever, all this kind of crazy crap that's being funded by the taxpayers, all to suck the dick of FIFA to make sure that FIFA comes here. And you want. How many games are being played here? You don't want to know how many games. Like six. There's like six total games.

[Emma Greed]

We're just part of, like. It's multi city, right?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, it's multi city. It's Mexico and the United States and there's. There's a billion games that are happening. We're getting six. We're not even getting the best of the games. We're getting, you know, the semi, semi, semi finals. It's so complicated. That World cup is honestly. They have, you know, hundreds of teams and they all. It's not hundreds, but they have a lot of teams and they all get together and they do a thing and then someone is the winner. But, man, do I get excited about it every time. I love it.

[Emma Greed]

Fun. I'm going to be right down there in the middle of all that. Gosh, I'm going to have to. To think about that.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, Move. That's what I would do. Move. Move to the gulch. I'm sure it's going to be cheap.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, I'm right on the street from the gulch.

[Brian Greene]

I know, I'm. I'm. I'm excited because when I worked in commercial Real estate, and I was working with SIM Group. I. They were in the bidding process, and the guys who worked there, they were very excited, and they were spending a lot of money on other people's developments, like lending money to other people to build all around that if it was within earshot of the gulch, they were spending money on it because they were buying in big to that part of town. And, you know, it's going to be a huge cool thing for the city. I think it is just another reason to come down to Atlanta. If you don't have a reason enough because Atlanta is a cool city, this is yet another reason to come visit. And if you do, let us know and we'll tell you where. We'll tell you where to have dinner. Somebody the other day said, hey, I'm coming to Atlanta. And I was like, cool, we'll all be out of town. Because we really were. But then I didn't know what to say. Like, cool. Do you. You want to come over? I don't know. I mean, I want you to tell me you're coming to town. I'm not being a dick. I just. I didn't know what the appropriate thing to say was.

[Emma Greed]

Appropriate response?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Because if you say, hey, yeah, you want to get together for a beer? Then are you being, like, weird? You know what I'm saying? Like, is that weird? I don't know. And I don't drink beer right now.

[Emma Greed]

Is that all they said, just some coming?

[Brian Greene]

No, they said they were traveling somewhere, like, somewhere close, and they might stop by Atlanta on this particular day. And you and I were both out of town. We were not available on those days that they were traveling. But I didn't really know what to say to. I'll be. Hey, I might swing by Atlanta. Like, oh, cool. You know, I'm sorry, but you can't come by the house. My wife would never allow that. But even if I said, okay, cool, let's go meet, I mean, I might not be totally opposed to it, but let's do that. Maybe like a group situation. Yeah, Everybody gets together. One of the things I thought would be cool if we did is from a. From time to time, from occasion to occasion, you and I shout out where we're going to be. Like, with a little bit of time, like, ahead of time, couple weeks ahead of time, and if people are in the area, we can all meet up and. And talk to each other.

[Emma Greed]

Where we're gonna be, like, on vacation?

[Brian Greene]

No, not that kind of. No. No. Like, we're gonna be at the bar.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, we're gonna be at the bar two weeks.

[Brian Greene]

We're going to see this show. We're gonna be at that bar. We're gonna be doing this thing.

[Emma Greed]

Well, we said we were gonna do a dive bar tour.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, well, we almost did do a dive bar tour.

[Emma Greed]

Well, did that go in the notebook?

[Brian Greene]

That went in the notebook. And right out the door. My body literally revolted against the dive bar tour. It said, oh, yeah, here's a tumor for you.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, it did.

[Brian Greene]

My body won't let it happen. Literally, even when my brain says, y no, it says, nope, here's a tumor. Recover from that one. Nope. Go get your neck cut open, buddy. All right, we'll go talk about more. We'll talk about more unfulfilled promises right after. Oh, we're funny. Right after this. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us in reply then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you, you'll be great at it. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak Now I'm gonna go back to that texting game you wanna play. Come on. Bye.

[Chris Hoadley]

Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking, how does it anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense, from pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask. And when things are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you can cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your [e-mail] that's championsofhome.com.

[Unknown]

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[Brian Greene]

Oh, my gosh. I'm watching everybody on Instagram massage their face. Are you massaging your face yet?

[Emma Greed]

Are you doing this, like the face yoga?

[Brian Greene]

No, not face yoga. It's like they're like the lymphatic. The lymphatic. I got knots in my chin, I got knots in my cheeks. I got knots in my brain, I got knots in my eyes.

[Emma Greed]

There's rollers for that.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, it's just like the newest, hottest fad. Like, I just read someone who's been into this for a minute, like, it's. Everyone's in it. Had been in it for a minute because it just started popping up everywhere. And they were saying, you know, I've got a secret technique that you can use to change the shape of your face with massage. Dm me, you know, I want to know more for, you know, the secret link, which to me smells of mlm. Do you know what I'm saying? It really does.

[Emma Greed]

The mlm. No, I think it just. It reeks of fleecing.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, yes. Here, Buy more face massagers. Right? Or this secret technique. And if you can get 10 friends to buy the secret technique, then you can profit off their 10 people to buy the secret technique. Yeah, like affiliate marketing Listen, some affiliate marketing is legit, completely legit. Some affiliate marketing, really, they do sell products and people want those products, and you're just a salesperson for that organization. But a lot of it is kind of scammy bullshit. But what's up with the face massage? We're doing that now. We're going to sell ML face massaging. Let's. Come on. I don't. I'm not opposed to face massaging.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, I've got one of the rollers and I've used it a couple of times. But changing the shape of your face, that's.

[Brian Greene]

That's a dramatic interpretation, I think, of what can happen. Yeah, I. A very dramatic interpretation of what can happen. But this same girl who's doing all this face massaging, she is. I'm not sure she's. Well, you know what I'm saying? So I'm not gonna give names or anything like that. I'm just not sure. I don't know. I mean, are any of us really all that? Well, at the end of the day, I think all of us are, you know, behind closed doors or basket cases, quite frankly. We got our own cup of Noodles that we're sucking from. And let me give you an example of one of the posts that.

[Emma Greed]

I mean, I think you might have a higher ratio of unwell people on your social media.

[Brian Greene]

I know I do. I know I. I tend to be attracted to that kind of craziness. Not like attracted like sexually or physically, but attracted like. Oh, that's very interesting.

[Emma Greed]

Well, like the guy that's showing his oily chest hair.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, yes, the guy. Oily chest hair guy. Hey, listen, if that's your thing, that's your thing. If you're into oily chest hair, cool. How did it end up on my Instagram? I don't know. I've never shown a proclivity for oily chest hair, but. Okay.

[Emma Greed]

In fact, you hate body hair.

[Brian Greene]

I hate body hair. Maybe that's how it knew. Maybe it was. It heard me telling my daughter that I hate body hair. So this girl who's doing. One of the girls who's doing face massaging, right, she put out a post the other day, and the post was a note. She had taken a screenshot of a note on her iPhone and that said something about sza bizza wizza woo, I love me and you love you. Ink by somebody, tattoo by somebody else. Love your body, blah, blah, blah. Okay, all right. So a completely random, nonsensical mismatch of words. Mismatch of words. Like, almost like a stream of consciousness that clearly points to maybe not well, but it's a real. So it's a screenshot. There's a song playing. And the next scene is a photograph of her naked, bending down like she's popping a squat. Like she's about to take a dump with her fist in her mouth. All the way in her mouth. Right? And I was like, what. What is that? That's so unattractive. Why do you have your fist in your mouth and looks like you're about to take a shit on the ground? What is that? Right? The very next post that's like, that she put out like, 10 minutes after that is her sitting in her. On her couch, massaging her face, telling everybody the health benefits of massaging your face. What? It goes through your head when one post, sizza wizza wapa woo. Look at my beautiful tattoo. I'm taking a dump on the floor. And then massage your face. You can change the shape of it. Literally. I don't understand. I'm not getting it.

[Emma Greed]

I mean, she might be doing a test to see which one gets more likes and she'll go that way.

[Brian Greene]

She's gotten only fans, so. Yeah, she's gotten onlyfans. And she often puts out. She'll put out sales for her only fans.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, on sale. Like a Memorial Day sale?

[Brian Greene]

Yes.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Greene]

Like, you know, 35% off the next 15 people that go to my only fans one, like. And it's like, are you going to get all 15 in there? I don't. I don't know.

[Emma Greed]

You're kind of rooting for.

[Brian Greene]

I am rooting for. Because I feel her pain. Yeah, yeah. We don't have 15. Yes. It's competitive. That fucking algorithm is just. Fucks you. I was talking to Chad about that last night. I said, hey, chat, why can't I get any of my reels to, you know, besides one or, you know, five. Five of them to get over a couple hundred thousand views and, you know, maybe 5,000 likes. And it came up with a list of thoughts on that. Right.

[Emma Greed]

What were they?

[Brian Greene]

Well, the very last one was one that I have considered. You may have been shadow banned by the algorithm. While. And it said, while shadow banning is not an official term used by Instagram and they deny that this happens. They do deplatform certain content for a number of different reasons. It gave me all those different reasons. Now, could that have happened? Yes. We have talked a lot of shit about Mark Zuckerberg on this show, but I don't think we've posted a lot of posts about Mark Zuckerberg. As a matter of fact, I only found one where we were talking shit about Mark Zuckerberg. But could be that once you talk about Mark, you just don't get the juice. You just don't get the juice. Yes. Maybe if I start putting a fist in my mouth and look like I'm taking a yahoo on the floor, then.

[Emma Greed]

Maybe I'm telling you and filming your, your grooming routine.

[Brian Greene]

I am going to start filming that grooming routine. That is exactly what I'm going to do. Because if people want chest hair, I've got that all day long. What I'm going to do is I'm going to let it grow for like three months and then you're going to see the commercial break.

[Emma Greed]

You won't be able to do that.

[Brian Greene]

No. Nope, I won't.

[Emma Greed]

That was a nice thought because you will not be able to do that.

[Brian Greene]

You know, when the first time I got married, my ex wife Julia, she begged, pleaded with me to please grow my hair out for the wedding. Could I just have a couple of curls on top for the wedding?

[Emma Greed]

Your hair?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, my hair hair.

[Emma Greed]

Your head hair?

[Brian Greene]

My head hair? Yeah. The body hair. No, but the head hair. And I said, okay, I'll grow it out. And so I think I got it like three or four weeks into the process. And so it was like maybe an inch long. Right. And we were like two weeks from the wedding. But I was so crazed by the feeling of having hair that one night in a drunken stupor I shaved it off. And of all the arguments that Julia and I had, that was one of the, one of the worst. Yes. Because she was the fuck. Now you cannot grow it. But we don't have time. It's not gonna happen. And I thought to myself, we got so many bigger fish to fry than my hair. But okay, if we're upset about that, let's do that. You know, I don't know. There's something irritating to me about having.

[Emma Greed]

I've never seen, I mean, in the 20 years of friendship, I've never seen you with it live in person. I've seen a picture. Yeah, but I have not ever seen.

[Brian Greene]

You with the grown out pictures do exist of me with, with longer curly hair. Especially when I'm a teenager, big old mop curls on the top of my head. I liked it very curly. It's all my kids have the same hair, right. Because Astrid's got the same hair that I do, essentially just a little darker. But she's Got the same hair that I do. And you know, I would grow it out maybe, maybe for, like, a charitable reason, maybe. But even then, I think even if I was doing some good, I don't think there's enough good that I could do that would get me past all the irritation of having hair.

[Emma Greed]

You could grow it out for people's. What is it, merkins or what?

[Brian Greene]

Yes, Merkin. Yes, I'm gonna grow out merkin. That's so girly, Merkins. You want to put my hair on your dick? Call me do 1, 2, 4, 3, 3, 3.

[Emma Greed]

TC you probably get some likes on that.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, I bet I would. And you know, I would sell some. There are some freaky deakies out there, probably in our audience. I bet there's some people in our audience that'd be like, I take your hair, I'll take your hair. I'm gonna be in Atlanta. I'll take your hair.

[Emma Greed]

Can I drop by and pick up that hair?

[Brian Greene]

Oh, that's right. Thank God I don't have any crypto to get kidnapped with on that one. Anyway, gonna start massaging my face and growing out my hair. Maybe that's why my hair is receding, is because I'm not massaging my head enough.

[Emma Greed]

Yeah, maybe you need to massage your scalp.

[Brian Greene]

Fair enough. Well, I had the first scalp burn of the year, so it's peeling a little bit. Yeah, that hurts. I swore to myself, like, three years ago I'm never gonna have another scalp burn. I've burned it too much. It happens once, twice a year. I'm always gonna put a little something, you know, sunscreen on my scalp. So I don't get that because it hurts too, that scalp burn. And what did I do? I went to my kids field day. Stood there all day long in the burning hot sun, not a drop of sunscreen. Well, at least I wasn't getting spit on. I could have spit on my head.

[Emma Greed]

It might have felt good on the burn here.

[Brian Greene]

Kids spit on my head.

[Emma Greed]

Well. Well, one of them tried to.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, one of them did. They almost made it. Yeah, I like, ducked. I was like, driving under the wheel. I'm like, ah. No, it made it everywhere. Everywhere. Back a seat, front of seat, back a house. Front of house. It was everywhere.

[Emma Greed]

How's the smell now?

[Brian Greene]

It's gone. We got it.

[Chris Hoadley]

We licked it.

[Brian Greene]

We licked it and, yeah, we washed that chair off. Not nice and good. My stepmom had something you hook up to the hose that sprays like a bleachy soap for, like, the house, you know? Cleaning the house. Mildew, mold, all that stuff. Oh, we attacked it. We were out there for an hour cleaning that damn seat, every bit of it. And then I had to clean off the driveway. It was a whole thing.

[Emma Greed]

Oh, the slime.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, the slime. Disgusting. All right, here we go. We're headlong and tcb.

[Emma Greed]

We're barreling towards it.

[Brian Greene]

Barreling towards it. No stopping the train now. No gulch here. We got our own gulch. It's gonna happen on Saturday, May 31, 10am to 10pm you are going to get endless amounts of TCB on TCB's endless deck day. And we can't wait for it. You want to be a part of it. You want to call in. There will be a portion of the show that will be interactive. So 212433. We're gonna attempt. Yeah, all of this. We're attempting all of this, by the way, could happen the way we hope could happen another way.

[Emma Greed]

We've got a good plan.

[Brian Greene]

And listen, planning is half the battle. Executing is the other half. So just stay tuned. 2124-3321-2433-3822. Text us questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas. Or if you would like to join us on tcb's Endless Day, text us and we'll do our best to coordinate that. Do our best to coordinate that. Add the commercial break on Instagram. You want to be following us because if we go live on Twitch and or YouTube, we'll let you know on Instagram or on YouTube.com TheCommercial Break Break. Make sure you subscribe to the channel tcbpodcast.com all the comings and goings and all the episodes right there at one location. Plus your free sticker. See you on Saturday. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today?

[Emma Greed]

I think so.

[Brian Greene]

I'll say I love you and I love you. Best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Unknown]

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