TCB Special Election Coverage!

Summary

The Commercial Break – TCB Special Election Coverage!

Release Date: August 2, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley, Astrid (Co-host)
Guest: Austin Nasso (Comedian/Impressionist)

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Overview

In this raucous, improv-driven episode, The Commercial Break presents a tongue-in-cheek “special election coverage” featuring comedian and impressionist Austin Nasso. The centerpiece is hilarious faux-interviews with “Donald Trump” and “Joe Biden” – spot-on impressions delivered by Nasso – satirically riffing on recent campaign drama, the Olympics, fast food habits, tech startups, and more. The hosts mix in absurd political banter, lighthearted jabs at pop culture, and peek behind the curtain with insights from their talented guest.

Key Theme:
Lampooning current political dynamics and internet culture through irreverent impressions and unscripted, freewheeling comedy.

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Episode Structure & Major Segments

1. Olympics & Parenting Tangents (03:31–11:52)
2. Impressionist “Interviews”:
   • Donald Trump (13:26–26:13)
   • Joe Biden (28:38–37:49)
3. Reveal & Comedian Chat with Austin Nasso (39:43–54:59)
4. Plug Zone, Wrap-Up, & Farewell (54:59–end)

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1. Olympics and Parental Pressure (03:31–11:52)

Discussion Points:

• Hosts riff on the ongoing Paris Olympics, with particular awe for Simone Biles’ feats.
• Bryan shares concerns about the parental “arms race” in youth sports, with stories of coaches pushing expensive training and cautionary tales about burnout and injury.
• They joke about their own physical inability, with Bryan quipping about his “saggy man boobs and dad bod.”

Notable Quotes:

• Krissy: “I wish I had any physical acumen whatsoever, but my saggy man boobs and dad bod ain’t going to get it done.” (05:52)
• Astrid: “Fun for now.” (09:00)
• Bryan: “Let them tumble on the floor in the living room for a while before we get them into 17 days a week, you know, 17.” (10:48)

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2. Interview with “Donald Trump” – Austin Nasso’s Impression (13:26–26:13)

General Tone:

An uproarious, stream-of-consciousness parody, blending real news with wild non-sequiturs and signature “Trumpian” self-aggrandizement.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bitcoin and Technology:

  • Trump brags about Bitcoin, meme coins, and his "Apple 2" computer.
  • “We want to make the United States the capital of bitcoin... the apes and the degen.”

• Biden’s Withdrawal:

  • Trump downplays Biden’s campaign: “The question is, was he even ever in it?...should he be running for president? We don’t know.” (15:35)
  • Age jokes abound—"I'm younger than all those people who have died thousands of years ago." (16:35)

• Election & Golf Challenge:

  • Trump jokes about “voter fraud” and challenges Biden to an arm wrestle: “I would love to challenge him...to see, quite frankly, who should take the throne.” (17:31)
  • Claims he's a professional-level golfer, Tiger Woods is his “cub.”

• Fast Food Habits:

  • Trump doubles down on loving McDonald’s, KFC, Pizza Hut: “Meat, wheat and McDonald's.” (19:35–19:52)

• Post-Assassination Attempt:

  • Lampoons his ear being “shot off” at a rally, describing it as regrown, SpongeBob-style, and now with echolocation: “Now my ear will grow back stronger and better than ever before. I am like a sponge, like SpongeBob. It will grow back from budding.” (21:00, 22:15)

• Facing Kamala Harris:

  • Calls her “Koala, the Ferris wheel” and accuses her of being a Soviet, with over-the-top incredulity.

• White House Redesign:

  • Asserts his first priority would be redecorating: “We’re going to change the color scheme...a beautiful baby blue and a gold color scheme. We’re going to add some mahogany shelves...” (24:02)

• Friendship with Kim Jong Un:

  • Says they’re “good friends” who “play Xbox Live every night,” and will have “sleepovers and maybe play Twister.” (24:42)

• Sign-Off:

  • “Regardless of who wins, I won. And I’m the emperor.” (25:49)

Best Trump Quotes:

• “You look at my ear now, it’s one of the bigger ears. And it even has echolocation...like a bat.” (22:15)
• “Miss me, miss me. And now you have to kiss me.” (20:54)

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3. Interview with “Joe Biden” – Austin Nasso’s Impression (28:38–37:49)

General Tone:

Biden is depicted in a surreal, rambling, avuncular fashion, peppered with malapropisms, non-sequiturs, and runaway anecdotes.

Key Discussion Points:

• Health and Stamina:

  • Biden claims to have just gotten over “smallpox,” “chickenpox,” and being in a hospital with a man dying of gangrene (29:07).
  • “Get vaccinated. Get oscillated...Fact is, I was not bad covert case, it was a little baby Covid case.” (29:26)

• Decision to Step Down:

  • Offers meandering, folksy reasoning: “For the sake of American people, for a second democracy, folks, I had a fantastic term. I did a lot of great work...” (30:06)
  • Launches into a bizarre story about “playing in a metal scrap field in Scranton, Transylvania.”

• Reflections on Age:

  • Parodies Biden’s years in office: “I have 575 years of service as American democracy.” (31:30)
  • Claims he can distinguish “cow and chicken,” and “the word egg and the word stove.” (32:16)

• Election Prospects:

  • Biden and Trump both joke about arm-wrestling and street fights: “Donald Duck, I challenge you to a tussle.” (33:45)
  • Asserts he’ll “run for senator...probably be center of the great state of China.” (34:35)

• Afterlife Plans:

  • Quips: “Die. Joking around. All jokes. Look, jokes aside, fact is we have it. I’m gonna probably run for senator.” (34:21)
  • Suggests he’ll challenge Vladimir Putin or “run for senator of Ukraine.” (35:03, 35:14)

• Coda – Dr. Jill and Other “Plans”:

  • Refers to “Dr. Seuss” as a friend and rambles about chairs: “We have enough chairs to go around.” (35:37)
  • Affirms support for “Care Bear,” a mangled rendition of Kamala Harris, for president.

Memorable Bidenisms:

• “When I was a little boy, I was 47 years old...” (30:20)
• “If I could describe America in one word, one word only—[makes noises].” (32:51)
• “Put the little baby in the back of the tube. Take it for a whirlwind.” (37:34)
• “Who am I?” (38:02)

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4. Comedian Reveal & Conversation with Austin Nasso (39:43–54:59)

Key Discussion Points:

• Impressions Origin:

  • Austin explains mimicking Trump since the 2016 election, inspired by his mother’s nagging.
  • Shares background in software engineering (ex-Microsoft), his virality on TikTok, and how he and a college roommate both inadvertently turned their Trump impressions into a career.

• Performing & Going Viral:

  • Tells of being featured on Howard Stern and developing comedic impressions of Trump, Biden, and more (“Kamala’s up next!”).

• Tech Roast Show:

  • Talks about his live show and podcast, “Tech Roast Show” and “Visionary Billionaire Genius Podcast,” which lampoon startup culture and roast “tech bros” live.
  • Explains the format: “We get tech people who we’ve never met before, like CEOs or founders, and we just make fun of them.” (46:16)
  • Gears up for upcoming gigs across NYC, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, and India.

• Cultural Satire:

  • Bryan and Austin riff on the absurdity of startup culture, detailing how VC funding can be a game, not always tied to product success.
  • “You just keep on sucking up this money. But it’s part of the equation, it’s part of the ecosystem, it’s how they live. And it’s a world that I can only imagine or dream, most of us can only imagine or dream of living in—or roasting the people who do.” (50:49)

• Podcast Promos and Social Media:

  • Austin’s handles: @austinnasso, @techroastshow.
  • Hosts encourage listeners to check out his TikTok, podcasts, and live shows.

Notable Quotes:

• Austin (on his Trump impression): “My mom kind of like sounds like Trump in a way. Like the specific way she nags me. She’ll just be like, austin, what’s the matter? You don’t call your mother? You don’t love your mother?” (41:25)
• Bryan: “Let them tumble on the floor in the living room for a while before we get them into 17 days a week, you know, 17.” (10:48)

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5. Closing Banter, Housekeeping, and Farewell (54:59–end)

• Hosts plug upcoming shows in Florida and remind listeners about their free sticker promo.
• Astrid declares: “Oh my God. I love the man behind the voices.” (55:12)
• Emphasize Austin’s talent: “Very good at what he does. Very funny on the socials. You gotta follow him. ...There’s a lot of interesting stuff coming up in the election season.” (55:43)

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Timestamped Highlights & Quotes

• [05:52] Krissy: “My saggy man boobs and dad bod ain’t going to get it done.”
• [15:35] Trump (Nasso): “The question is, was he even ever in it?...should he be running for president? We don’t know.”
• [17:31] Trump: “I would love to challenge him...to see, quite frankly, who should take the throne.”
• [19:35] Trump: “Meat, wheat and McDonald's.”
• [21:00] Trump: “They tried to kill me. They wanted to blow me up on TV. ...My ear will grow back stronger and better than ever before. I am like a sponge, like SpongeBob.”
• [22:15] Trump: “You look at my ear now, it’s one of the bigger ears. And it even has echolocation...like a bat.”
• [32:16] Biden (Nasso): “I could tell a difference between cow and chicken. Folks, look, I know the difference between the word egg and the word stove.”
• [34:21] Biden: “Die. Joking around. All jokes. Look, jokes aside, fact is we have it. I’m gonna probably run for senator.”
• [35:37] Biden: “Dr. Seuss, he’s a good friend of mine. We have...red chair, blue chair...enough chairs to go around.”
• [41:25] Austin: “My mom kind of like sounds like Trump in a way...You don’t love your mother?”
• [46:16] Austin: “We get tech people who we’ve never met before, like CEOs or founders, and we just make fun of them.”
• [50:49] Bryan: “You just keep on sucking up this money...And it’s a world that I can only imagine or dream...or roasting the people who do.”

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Overall Tone & Style

Playful, anarchic, and irreverent—the episode is a fast-moving whirlwind of satirical sketches, free association, and gentle but biting parody. Both hosts and guest lean into absurdism and improv, while never straying far from a sense of camaraderie and light-hearted fun.

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Best for Listeners Who:

• Love sharp, pop culture-laced political humor
• Appreciate high-level voice impressions that lampoon without getting too mean-spirited
• Enjoy unfiltered, improvisational podcast banter
• Want an inside peek at the social media world of comedy impressions and tech satire

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Related Links

• Austin Nasso socials: @austinnasso, @techroastshow
• Tech Roast Show Podcast
• The Commercial Break: tcbpodcast.com

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In summary:
This special edition of The Commercial Break delivers a wild, side-splitting “election coverage” not with actual politicians, but with the viral voice talents of Austin Nasso. It’s a must-listen for political comedy fans, blending offbeat impressions, behind-the-scenes laughs, and barbs aimed equally at public figures and Silicon Valley dreamers.

Transcript

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You can take my ears, but you cannot take my liberty. They want to cut off my ears like the Taliban. But what they don't know is my ears can grow back like spongebob through budding.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

By the way, hit me with your.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Best shot, why don't you? Because if that's the best you got, you're a loser. You're such a loser. You missed so bigly, by the way. You had a big opportunity. You could have made my head blow up on tv, but you didn't do that, did you? Now my ear is going to grow back bigger and better. It will have better hearing. I will hear like an owl.

[Chrissy (Host)]

On this episode of the commercial break.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

But luckily, you know, I have very good genetics. I have a lot of stem cells and quite frankly, it grew back bigger and better. And, you know, you look at my ear now, it's quite frankly, one of the bigger ears and it even has echolocation. Now they, you know, they gave it an enhance. It can. Now I'm walking around, I hear all this buzzing. They're telling me it's electromagnetic waves like a bat.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

All of a sudden, all of a sudden, you know, first my ear is shot. Next thing I know, I'm catching bugs at night.

[Chrissy (Host)]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Jojo to my ch. Well, Chris, enjoy. Odley. Best to you, bestie, bestie and bestie you out there in the podcast universe.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I have to say, when you did the.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I've been doing that, like, all around my house.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, yeah. I get into election season and I'm like, yeah.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Oh, they are Olympics.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. I love it. Thanks, everybody, for joining us today. We're very excited because I do believe, Chrissy, that we probably have reached the pinnacle of commercial breakdom here at the commercial break. As we have commercial break them. The commercial break. Summer is on. TCB Summer is on.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

And I believe. Yeah, yeah.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

See, it fits with so many different things.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It really does. It's. It's everything. Yeah. Boy. Yeah. Those two even go together.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Because I believe we probably have managed to score the best guests, the best phone interviews we're ever going to have on the commercial break today in one day at one time. Right now, you are in for a treat. And let me tell you who we've got. Coming up, former president Donald Trump, current president Joseph R. Biden are going to be here with us this episode. So you do not want to miss it, it's going to be an amazing and exciting opportunity to talk to two political heavyweights.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah, I mean you really scored that.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Thanks Astrid.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Thank you. Thank you. Yes, thanks Astrid. It's all Astro's fault. And so we're very excited to talk to both of those folks. Love them, hate them, whatever you think about them, you know, they're former, it's a former president deals. Yeah. You got to accept the when, when we come a calling and they say yes, we have to then follow through because you know, we'll try to get to over overly political, you know how the commercial Rick rolls. But we do have to ask him a few questions. Maybe I'll ask some heavy hitting questions. Probably not. But we'll, we'll let them do the talking for the most part. How's that?

[Astrid (Co-host)]

That sounds good.

[Chrissy (Host)]

The Olympics continue. Very excited. Probably be talking about this for the next couple of weeks because let's face it, that's, that's what's going on is the Olympics. And Chrissy and I, we're both big fans. We're both big fans and, and one of the things that I did not know was in the Olympics that Chrissy shed some light on is break dancing. Yeah, breaking they call it. Yeah, breaking. So how do they score that?

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I don't know. We're about to find out.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, I mean, I guess they do do like interpretive, like gymnastic dance with like, you know.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah. We think how hard something is, how many times you, you know, can you put together tricks.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. Your difficulty level, all that stuff.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yeah, I was watching, excited to see it.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I know, me too. I was watching Ms. Biles last night. Badass Biles. She's back, baby.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I mean, yeah, she is and she's just incredible. But I mean, one of the best.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Of all time or not the best of all time. Yeah, I think we can officially put a cap on that. She's the best of all time. Not only has she won gold medals, been in multiple Olympics, won multiple championships, done is do national championships, world championships, has done things that no other gymnast, not even male gymnasts have attempted, but she does it over and over and over again. And then had an undoing in Tokyo, but came back from it to win another world Championship, national championship, doing some of the same stuff that kind of did her head in a little bit over in Tokyo. It's just an, it's like an amazing story that you can't get over. And last night, the arena packed with celebrities watching when we're recording this Obviously earlier in the week, but packed with celebrities to see her do her thing and, man, did she kick some.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

She does. And. And she even has a hurt foot.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I know.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

God, it's like she has a hurt foot.

[Chrissy (Host)]

She went 13ft, 7 inches in the air on one of her, like, what do they call them? Tumble passes. One of her tumble passes 13.7ft in the air. That is higher than a basketball hoop.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Incredible.

[Chrissy (Host)]

You imagine Michael Jordan flying from the, you know, from the free throw line and doing a. And doing a slam dunk. It seems like Simone could probably do that while flipping in the air and.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Doing multiple twists and put the. The ball in the basket.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yes. I wish I had any physical acumen whatsoever, but my saggy man boobs and dad bot ain't going to get it done.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

There's still time, Brian, for breaking. Do some breaking.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Like actually breaking a hip. Points for breaking my hip. I'm breaking. One of my daughters is, like, super into gymnastics and dance, and she's way too young for me to even start talking about what the next step is. I just enjoy it, have fun. But she wants me to help her do flips and flip overs.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

And she needs getting really good at it.

[Chrissy (Host)]

She's getting really good at it. And, you know, there are, like, the teachers at this, at the Academy or whatever. She's at the little, you know, studio that she goes to. There are already. They're already pushing the money buttons. You can see it.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Oh, yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, we've. We haven't seen a young lady like this in a long time. She needs four days a week at a special camp where it costs twice as much money and you have to go twice as many times a week. And I'm like, what? Really? And I see how they get you because you get that pride.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

You're like, you do, for sure.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I knew it.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I always knew it.

[Chrissy (Host)]

But so, you know, I talk to her. She's not even old enough to understand any of this. And I say, listen, so some of the girls, some of the older girls invited you to go to, like, a different kind of camp where it's more. You're doing it more times a week. And of course, the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, yes, I want to go, like, of course I do. I want to learn how to flip and twist and spin like Simone and all this other stuff. And I'm like, but daddy can't afford it, so I am going to buy an extra area rug and we're going to put some double padding on and Just, that's your tumble exercises. Just do it there. And she's like, no, daddy, I want to go to the. Five times a week. And I'm like, oh, five times a week. It's like, now I gotta do two commercial breaks. One here and one over at the gym. Like, I don't want to do that.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Broadcasting live from. Broadcasting live from local gymnastics.

[Chrissy (Host)]

That's right. And broadcasting live from the local gymnastics channel is right. It just seems like they, they know how to get you. So Astrid was saying what she goes, okay, let's just play what if for a moment. What if our daughter is really good at gymnastics? And what if she does have like a God given gift to do this, or universe, whatever you want to call it, Mother, I don't even care what you call it. What if she has that gift? What it, what does that look like? How many, how much money would we have to spend? How much time do we dedicate? And I said, oh, Astrid, all of it. All of it.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

All of your money, all the time.

[Chrissy (Host)]

All of the money, all of the time. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. And they said, then when they get to a certain age, which I think for gymnastics, like 12 or 13. 11, 12, 13. If they're like really exhibiting signs that they can do this very well, then you start getting some breaks. Like they'll, you'll go to a special training camp. They may live there. They may go, you know, they may do school and gymnastics at the same place at the same like, facility that the gym. National Gymnastics Associate, whatever the. And she's like, they live there. And I'm like, yeah. And it's not like convenient places. Downtown Atlanta. It's like Central Iowa. That's where you go to get away from all this. She's like, my daughter would go and live somewhere in Central Iowa. I go, no, we would go live in Central Iowa so that she could do it or commute back and forth or whatever. And she's like, oh, that sounds like fun. And I'm like, yeah, that's why we don't want to like press her into it quite yet.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Fun for now.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Wait until she's 21, she's got a job and she can fend for herself. And then if she wants to go to Central Iowa, you know, Simone is 28, I think, so she's still got time. She'll get to one Olympics maybe. Listen, I'm not trying to knock on the girl's dreams, but I feel for those parents to get all caught up in this kind of stuff. And I Know way too many of them. I know at least four parents, at least four in my personal life who got told the same thing when the kids were very young about baseball because baseball is big money. But baseball is not always a clear cut road. You don't go to like college and then you. There's not. You can be either drafted out of college or you can go to a farm team, or you can go to like a double farm team or you can putz around for years. But it's ultra important that they be part of the super ponies. Right now super ponies travel all over the world and it's $10,000 per trip. And you got to have special uniforms. You got to go. You can take tests and physio, cardio and all this other stuff. They got all wrapped up in it. Let me tell you where two of those children are right now. Surgeries already. Surgeries already. They aren't even 25 years old. Surgeries already. Zero prospect of playing professional baseball. And the other two kids, at some point when they got into college, they said, never mind. Yeah, they turned into fish heads and now they're traveling around taking acid. Right.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Well, that's the thing too, I think when you force something on, not force, you think they want and they want to do it right now, she's young, but yes, when you have too much of it, then I think at some point there's kind of a rebellion. Like, wait a minute, I want to try something else in my life. I don't know if I want to dedicate. Especially when you start getting into middle school, high school.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. I'm just wondering if, like. Yeah, but listen, I don't knock any parents choice. I know now as a parent, never knock another parent's choice unless hitting them is one of those choices. Right. Or torturing them or bullying them or whatever.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Like anything bad.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Anything bad. But. So I'm not knocking another parent's choice. I don't know that I would not have done the same thing, faced with the same choices and, and same attention given to my kid about a particular sport or talent or whatever it is. But I'm just sharing like maybe, you know, let's suss it out just a little. Let them tumble on the floor in the, in the living room for a while before we get them into 17 days a week, you know, 17.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Practice your own like bouncy house out in your yard, you know, where you can have those pad.

[Chrissy (Host)]

One of my brothers, one of my brothers bought this daughter, bought her a balance beam that sits on the floor. It's like a soft balance beam. And so now, but. And now every time I walk, I know it's going to be requested me. Every time I walk into that playroom, she's, daddy, help me do the flip overs. And I'm like, the flip overs, look, are fun for her, but kill my back because I'm like, oh, oh, again, again, again, oh, hundreds of times in a row. But I'm a dad. What am I going to do? Of course I stand there and I take it. I'm going to have to. I'm going to have multiple surgeries. That's what's going to happen. Dad's going to have multiple surgeries. Oh, I think it might be time for President Trump to call.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I see the red light.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I see the red light. So let's do this. Let's take a quick break. I know it's short, but this is going to be a longer episode. Don't worry, we'll get, we'll get lots of action in today. So let's do this. Let's take a quick break. When we get back, we'll see if this is President Trump. We'll get him on the phone. Sound good?

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Sounds like a blam.

[Chrissy (Host)]

We'll be back. Hi.

[Promo Announcer]

No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait and now look how happy you are. I know, I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow he commercial break? Seriously, please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy beg. So just follow us on Instagram again. That's hecommercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is tcbpodcast.com baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at tc2124333. TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. And that's a win. 212-4333. TCV. Love you, bye.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, okay. I got in a little bit early there. Okay. Very excited. The commercial break has managed to score a short but hopefully sweet interview with Mr. Former President Donald Trump. Let's see if Mr. President Trump is on the phone. Okay. Good afternoon, President Trump. Thank you for joining us very much. We really appreciate it.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, it's so great to be here. By the way, on the commercial break. What a, what an incredible honor to be here. They do podcast. We love, we love to see it. We love it very much.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Thank you very much. We often say that you're either on your way up or on your way down when you join us here at the commercial break. That's true.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

That's true. I'm doing very well, by the way. I have a lot of friends.

[Chrissy (Host)]

A lot of friends. A lot.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

A lot of friends.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I see you made a lot of friends at the bitcoin conference this last Saturday. Former President Trump.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know what? Bitcoin, a lot of people, they say it's imaginary. The money, they say it's not real, but we know it's real. We know it's real. And we want to make the United States the capital of bitcoin. We're going to have the apes and the degen. Some of them, I don't know if I could say the this, but they call themselves as they say they are.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I don't know.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

That's what they say. They say that. They call themselves that. And we're going to make America the home of the. The bitcoin and the. Also the ape. And they're doing meme. Meme, coin and doji. Dog with an e. They spell it dog with an e. Are you familiar with dog with an e?

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Do.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yes, I've heard dogecoin. I think I, I stayed away from it, luckily, but. President Trump, let me ask you a question. It's my understanding that you don't really even email or use a computer. Do you have any bitcoin?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know what, it's fake news, because I know I use computers more than anybody. And quite frankly, I have a very good computer. It is a. An apple. They call it the Apple 2.

[Chrissy (Host)]

That's what they call it.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

And it is. It is as big as a living room. Did you know that?

[Chrissy (Host)]

I do.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

It is so big and it adds these fans. They're roaring. Roaring. It has 1,000, I think it is Kilo, Kilobyte. Kilobytes of memory. More memory than most people.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Speaking of memory, Mr. Trump, I understand we've all been hearing the news. It's hard to ignore, really. Quite frankly, your former opponent, President Joe Biden, has dropped out of the race. How do you feel about that?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, it makes sense. He dropped out. And the question is, was he even ever in it? You know, you have a man running a race. He can't even run or walk or crawl. You know, it's so sad. You see a Man, and he falls up the stairs more times than he can count. Should he be running for president? We don't know.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

We don't know.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Little Joe, he's probably going to bed early as night night. So night night. He's doing night night.

[Chrissy (Host)]

But President Trump, you really aren't that far off the mark either because you're going to be Joe Biden's age in just a couple of years. So if you were to win the election, than you would.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know what? I am a young, I'm like a spring chicken, you know, 79. I'm very young. I'm younger than most people. I don't know if I have grandchildren. I'm younger than them. I'm also younger than my, I'm younger than my dad. He is dead, but I'm younger than him.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I'm younger than.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

And you know, here's the thing. Here's the thing, Brian. There's a lot of people, and you don't know this, but they're very, very like most people that have walked the earth. You have billions of people. You know, there's 7, 8 billion people on the planet that are alive. But you know what? They're not talking about how many people are dead? How many people are dead. You have 8 billion alive. How many dead? 100 billion, 200 billion. So quite frankly, I'm younger than all those people and they don't want to talk about that. I'm younger than all those people who have died thousands of years ago.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, I do understand you believe that some of those hundred billion people may have voted for President Joe Biden in the last election.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, I don't believe it because he's doing these, doing a fake election. It's rigged. He wants to do, he wants you to be able to mail in letters and vote who know, I don't even know about. They want you to do the mail. And you know, it's all, it's a criminal activity. It's a coup d'.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Etat.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Coup d'. Etat. And I don't believe it. I think that, quite frankly, I won the election fair and square. And, you know, I would love to challenge him to maybe an arm wrestle to see, quite frankly, who should take the throne.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, President Trump, Joe Biden has not challenged you to an arm wrestling match yet, but he did challenge you to a round of golf. Do you still believe you could beat him in that round of golf?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know what? I'm better than most people at golf. And, you know, I'm only a little with the handicap they have the handicap system. I'm not that handicapped, by the way. I can do golf very well. I'm a minus one.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Minus one on the handicap. That's. That's incredible. That's. You close to professional, Mr. Trump, if you.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yes. You know, I'm. I'm the only American president who has competed in the pga and one, quite frankly, every time. Pga. You know, Tiger woods, he was a. My protege.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, wow. I did not know that. Tiger woods and you have played some golf together. I have seen pictures of you and Tiger woods playing together. Tiger, of course, a legendary coxman. And you got.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

That's what they call him. And you know, to me, I call him Cub woods because he's like a little cub to me. I can beat him. I can beat him with a blindfold on.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Little Cub woods, certainly. President Trump, Tiny Tiger.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Tiny Tiger Woods. Come on.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I understand, former President Trump, that I get concerned about you a little bit because I see what you're eating on those airplanes and photographs and your famously loved your Big Macs and your KFC and your pizza slices. You think maybe at your age you should slow down a little bit on the fast food and get.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

I love McDonald's. McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken in a Pizza Hut. McDonald's, McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken in a Pizza Hut. I love it very much. I love it a lot. And, you know, it's very healthy. You look at.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

We built the.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

I don't know if you know this, but we built the food pyramids ourselves, the Americans, we built it. And at the bottom there is wheat and there is meat and there is.

[Chrissy (Host)]

McDonald's meat and meat and McDonald's. Very interesting, President Trump.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Meat and wheat and McDonald's.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Does Melania get on you about this? How does Melania feel about your general eating habit, your habits in general?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know Melania, she's doing very well. We're very close. I can tell we're very much in love, madly in love. And you know Melania, she has a lot of thoughts and I know them very well. President Trump, beautiful woman.

[Chrissy (Host)]

We were all very sad and dark, dark day to see what happened at your rally a couple of weeks ago when you were shot in the ear and apparent assassination attempt.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

What a shame.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It was a shame. How is a shame. How is your.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

It's a shame. It's a sham. It's a, you know, first, I have one, one thing if I could say to him, I don't know if he's listening. He might be dead. We're looking into it. I would like to say this to the people. They wanted to kill me. Miss me. Miss me. And now you have to kiss me.

[Chrissy (Host)]

How is your ear feeling? How's your ear feeling? How are you doing?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, quite frankly, it's an incredible thing.

[Chrissy (Host)]

He.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

They tried to kill me. They wanted to blow me up on tv. They wanted to make my head pop. And, you know, they couldn't do it. He had a great opportunity. Could you imagine that in the history books? Greatest president of all time had Pops on tv. It would have been so fantastic for the. For the people that hate me. It would have been great. And, you know, he had a great opportunity and he squandered it. He really squandered it. And he hit my ear. And now my ear will grow back stronger and better than ever before. I am like a sponge, like SpongeBob. It will grow back from budding.

[Chrissy (Host)]

So SpongeBob got SquarePants. But I just want to ask you this about your. Your ear. It seems that when you, when you took the bandage off, it didn't look like there was too much damage to your ear. So has it regrown already or is.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, if you. You had to see it after it was shot because there wasn't much of an ear, I wouldn't even call it an ear. I would call it a. A nub that can hear audio. I would call it more of a. An audio hold rather than an ear. That's what it was. If you've seen, I don't know if you've seen the Shrek Years and they're like the long noodles with the hole in it.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I have.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

It looked more like that and I didn't want the world to see what it. The truth. They did, but luckily, you know, I have very good genetics. I have a lot of stem cells and quite frankly, it grew back bigger and better. And, you know, you look in my ear now, it's quite frankly one of the bigger ears. And it even has echolocation. Now. They, you know, they gave it an enhancement. It can. Now I'm walking around, I hear all this buzzing. They're telling me it's electromagnetic waves, like a bat.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

All of a sudden, all of a sudden, you know, first my ear is shot. Next thing I know, I'm catching bugs at night.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President Trump after the assassination attempt. Shortly after the RNC convention, of course, President Biden announced that he would not run for reelection due to all the concerns around his, his age and his, his appearance at the debate. And now it appears that we have Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris is going to be the next opponent you're going to have to face in this election. How do you feel about Kamala?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, Koala, the Ferris wheel, by the way, you know, she means well. She's trying her best, but, you know, we know the truth. She. She puts a lot of people behind bars. She wants to turn our country into. Into a communism. She wants to. She likes. She's a Soviet, by the way.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, I did not know that she's a Soviet.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Come on, come on. Let's see the birth certificate. We know you were born in Soviet Kazakhstan.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President Trump, if you're reelected, I know that there are a lot of trimmings that come with the office. And so what is. What are you going to do? What is going to be your favorite part about being back at the White House if you should win this November?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Decorating. We're going to make it very pretty. We're going to change the color scheme. We have a beautiful baby blue and a gold color scheme. We're going to add some mahogany shelves and cabinets. We're doing a full renovation, and we are changing the whole thing. We are going to remodel it. New cabinets, new floors.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Wow.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

It's going to be beautiful.

[Chrissy (Host)]

One more question for you. I know your time is limited. Former President Trump. If you should be back in office, would you agree to meet the North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un one more time? I know you met him a couple times when you were in office previously.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You know, a lot of people, they look at little rocket Kim and little rocket Boy and they say, you know, they think so badly of him. And quite frankly, you know, I see a poor boy, a poor man. He was probably bullied a lot growing up, and. And I feel bad for the guy. My heart goes out to him. And, you know, quite frankly, we're very good friends. We play Xbox Live every night. We play Call of Duty, Call of Duty. And, you know, he's very good, by the way. I have to give credit where credit is due. He's very good at Call of Duty, and I want to play with Kim. We're going to probably have sleepovers and maybe play Twister. And, you know, he's a good friend of mine, and we're friends, and I don't care what they say because he is my best friend.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, President Trump, best of luck to you in this upcoming election. It's going to be a tight one. We all know that for sure, no.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Matter who is going to be very tight. And, you know, at the End of the day, whether who wins, I would like to remember this, that you should remember that I won. Regardless of who wins, I won. And I'm the emperor.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, well, that's what you've said, President Trump. And to you, I say good luck, sir, and what an honor to have former President Trump here.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Thank you so much.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

And I would like to say thank you to Elon, my loyal steward of darkness.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Elon's an interesting character, and I see why your friends, President Trump, thank you again.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Thank you. I'm going to Puerto Rico.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Wow. Former President Trump.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

How about a major score?

[Chrissy (Host)]

That was a big score. Informative, so open and honest about everything. I, I, I'm not sure I agree with everything he said, but what, you know.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Part of the problem in America right now is that we can't have a civil disagreement. So while I don't agree with President Trump on everything, it was nice to have him here. It was very nice to talk to him. I do think he should cut down on the kfc. Big Macs, pizza. What do you say? Big Macs pizza, McDonald's. Big Mac pizza, McDonald's.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

And I was very informative about the, the food pyramid.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. I mean, I knew that the American.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

McDonald's is on there.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. Meat, wheat meat, Big Macs, wheat meat and Big Mac. Very good. Very nice. Well, as you know, Chrissy, we can't have one without the other. We wouldn't do that to you. I think it's only fair that we talk to the current president, President Biden. So let's do this. We'll take a short break. I see that phone ringing again, right on time, as everyone's.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

So Ford is lighting up.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yes, I think we're getting a call from the operator at the White House as we speak. So let's take a break, and when we come back, we'll answer that phone call and see if we can't talk to President Biden. We'll be back.

[Promo Announcer]

What's up, haters? Now, let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean text us or call us at 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Unless you want to fight me, in which case, don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live as always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, TCP podcast dot com.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Bye. I don't think it would be fair for us to have former President Trump on unless we had an opportunity to speak with current President Joe Biden.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

We have to. We're fair and balanced.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Fair and balanced here at the commercial break. So here he is. He's on the phone with us now. President Biden, such an honor to talk to you this afternoon. Hello.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Biden tell you subcon's number.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I apologize.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Whoa.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Hi, President Biden, It's Chrissy and Brian from the commercial break. I'll speak up so you can hear me.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Oh, it's Chrissy and Brian, folks. Pleasure. Commercial break. First time my career commercials are calling me, man. Look.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, it's such an honor to have you on, sir. First of all, how are you feeling? I understand you just got over Covid.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Folks, look this guy over. I just got over smallpox where I was sitting.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

They put me in an infirmary.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

I was. I was in a hospital bed and the man next to me was dying of gangrene. Folks, vaccine vaccinations are the key. Get vaccinated.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Get.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Get oscillated. Look, fact is, I was not bad covert case. It was a little baby Covid case. I got a little small. I got a little. I got chickenpox.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Chickenpox had small chicken.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

My arms were achieved. My life is not.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Late 19, early 1900s, they gave the.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Native Americans a smallpox blanket. Not the right thing to do.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Not the right thing to do at all. President Biden, you shocked a lot of people a couple Sundays ago announcing that you would not run for re election. You're one of three or four presidents who have not sought the incumbency. How did you come to this decision?

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

For the sake of American people, for a second democracy, folks, I had a fantastic term. I did a lot of great work, folks. For example, I. Anyway, look, we're saying I deserve run again. I know I can run again, folks. For the Democratic Party don't want me. But look, fact of the matter is I had a great term. I had a great season. Season tickets, folks. Tis the season. Be jolly. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, man. Look. When I was. When I was a little boy, I was 47 years old, playing in a metal scrap field in Scranton, Transylvania. We had a train coming one way, train coming the other way. They're about to collide. I was sitting in the middle of train tracks, dousing myself in oil I said and that's all we had back then. We didn't have toys, we didn't have anything. And then we had kids that were climbing my leg hair like, like the vineyard vines. Folks, fact is that's what America's about. That's what it said. It's about the American people. It's about building, scratching your back with a hammer. Hit them hard. Sorry. And starting a popsicle stand.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President Biden, you grew up with a stutter you and you overcame incredible odds and tragedy to get where you're at today. 50 plus years in public service and I think you probably end on on any a high note and almost anybody would be proud of which is to be the President of the United States. It's hard to give up power like that sir.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

I have an honorable career. Just a little boy with stutter born in the early 1600s. Folks, you know what they back in the day they would get those kids, they throw the babies off the mountains. Really if you had a stutter they throw you right off the mountain. Look folks, not the same. I have 575 years of service as American democracy. Look, I just. Everything happens for a reason.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It does sir, it does. And I think, I think most level headed people would consider it an act of patriotism to decide to step down not seek the seek re election at your age. Sir. All of us are gonna get there.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Margie.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

I'm not.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

I am not an old man.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

I'm not.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

I passed Very, very. Folks, they can be very challenging test. Cognitive tests. I tell I could tell a difference between cow and chicken. Folks, look, I know the difference between the word egg and the word stove. Look, fact is if I could describe America in one word, one word only.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I think I heard some David Lee Ross in there.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I know. Or at least the music that was playing when you did the famous dance at Juneteenth.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Oh skinnamarinky dinky dink.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Look.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Some people have said. I don't know if I agree with him. Some people have said it might have been challenging for you to win against President Trump. Especially after the assassination attempt. He had a lot of moments momentum going into that. I understand that you felt strongly you could win the election. Do you agree that it might have been a challenge to breathe to beat President Trump?

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Folks, look, fact of the matter is we missed. I mean, I mean folks, folks, look. No, no, that's not what I meant. Look, anyway president horrible travesty happens in American politics. Not don't assassinate president. Look, you gotta win fair and square.

[Chrissy (Host)]

You do you do have to win.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

We gotta win with the ballots, win with Arm Wrestles Tussle. I challenge Donald. Donald Duck, I challenge you to a tussle.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, we just had him on, sir, and he. He said he would arm wrestle you anytime. I'm sure we could make that tussle happen. If that's what you're. If that's what you're.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Leave me behind the pub in the.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Town square and we'll have a little.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

We'll have a jig in the alleyway.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

I'll show you the old two times, too. Come on.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President Biden. You know, a lot of people at your age, they decide to settle down and pick up a hobby, maybe go on a cruise or two. What do you think you're going to do once you retire the office?

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Die joking around. All jokes. Look, jokes aside, fact is we have it. I'm gonna probably run for senator.

[Chrissy (Host)]

You're going to run for senator. You're going to go back to the.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Senate, probably be center of the great state of. Great state of China.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I think your age would be more appropriate in the Senate. I think most of those people are in their 80s, actually.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to run President Putin. I'm going to be Putin.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, you're going to be Putin. I think Putin is president of Russia, sir.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Folks, I'm gonna beat Putin. Putin has to be stopped.

[Chrissy (Host)]

He does.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Folks, Putin's a great friend of mine. President, Ukraine. How does. I'm running for. I'm running for senator of Ukraine.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Senator of Ukraine. Sir, there's a lot of drama going on over there, and you've steadfastly believed that the Ukrainian people should be. Should have their own freedom.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

And people have freedom.

[Chrissy (Host)]

People should have freedom. Let me ask you something, President Biden. What does Dr. Jill Biden think about your retirement? Are you concerned that the two of you will get on each other's nerves?

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Folks, look, Dr. Seuss, he's a good friend of mine. We have. Folks, we have red chair, blue chair, green chair, yellow chair, big chair, small chair. We have enough chairs to go around.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I think we got the chairs cover covered.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Look, fact of the matter is everyone deserves freedom.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I agree with you, President Biden. There's a big election coming up. I understand. And now, folks, you say folks a lot, President Biden, but so does the actual president.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Of course.

[Chrissy (Host)]

You have. Now, who am I throwing your support behind? Kamala Harris for president, which I. Do you believe what it takes to beat president?

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Former President Trump, Folks, Care Bear is the Greatest president in the world. Look, I remember when I first built her. I was inside the mall on the second floor. I sewed the heart right in. I said, I love you. Kambam belongs to. I sewed it right into the Care Bear.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, that was.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

I said, one day you're going to be a pr. You're going to be president. United Grapes of Australia.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, President Biden, I. I do have to applaud you, sir. I think you did an honorable thing stepping away from reelection. Seeking reelection. And I know you're very busy back at Camp David, probably taking it.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Oh, yeah, I'm riding jet skis.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Hey, listen, at your age, stand up skis. Yeah, stand up jet ski.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

All right.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

One with the stand. I could, right? I can still do it. I still got it. Well, I still got it. Right at stand up one 70 miles an hour tone of two.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Behind me, that gimpy leg. You should. You shouldn't be standing up at all.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Take my great grandchildren tubing.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, you did?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yeah.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Put the little baby in the back of the tube. Take it for a whirlwind.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It sounds dangerous. Resident.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Little baby in a basket in tubes.

[Chrissy (Host)]

President Biden, I really appreciate your time today. It's been such an honor to have you, sir, always.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Look, the fact of the matter is we're going to do better. We got to do better. We got to do.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yes, I think I'll let you go.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Now for being here.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Who am I?

[Chrissy (Host)]

Thank you very much, President Biden, folks. Joseph R. Biden. President Biden. What an honor. What an honor. No, I'm not sure I understood what he was talking about.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I could feel the aviators through the phone. Yeah, he had to have those on.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, I wonder if his dog was chewing on his leg. He's like six dogs over there and they've all bitten somebody.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah, I do remember one biting.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, well, I think. I think there's been multiple menace dogs under the Biden administration, which is just so funny to me. Like, keep the dogs, you know? What is it? Blue? You got blue up there in the White House. What's up? Don't you think you have the best dog trainers in the world available to take care of? I should have asked him about that, but I was having a hard time understanding the questions I was asking. It was folks. That folks gets me every time. All right, so let's take a. Let's take another break. Sorry about this, guys. It's just a long episode today. Let's take another break, and then Chrissy and I'll be Back. Yeah, to wrap this whole thing up. We'll be back.

[Promo Announcer]

Look, I spend all day, every day listening to Brian and Chrissy, so the least you could do is text them and tell them how much you love me. Okay, so text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And don't forget TikTok CVpodcast. And if you want to show us how much you really love us, come to our live shows. Any and all information about TCV Live will be on tcvpodcast.com and then we can all giggle together in person.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yay.

[Chrissy (Host)]

And we're back. We just had a chance to talk to President Trump. Former president.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

That was incredible. That was incredible opportunity.

[Chrissy (Host)]

However, that wasn't the real President Biden or Trump. Yeah. Chrissy, sorry to break the fourth wall here, but it was our guest today, Austin Nassau. Who? Thank you. It's Nassau. Excuse me. I'm keep on saying NASA. It's Naso. Austin. Thank you for joining at the beach. Hey, Austin, how are you? Hello.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Thanks for having me, guys.

[Chrissy (Host)]

No, thank you so much for, for being here. You really are spot on.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah. You nailed it.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Thank you.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. So tell us a little bit about yourself. You're a standup comedian. You've been doing this for what you told us a decade and some change.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah. I can give you my whole life story.

[Chrissy (Host)]

We have plenty of time. This is your life.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Here's my life story.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I, I'm, I've been doing stand up comedy for, I guess, 11 years now. I started when I was 18, I'm 29. And I'll give you the backstory and the impressions. In college, me and my roommate at the the time would do. I would always do impressions growing up, but then in the 2016 election, me and my college roommate would do, like, Trump impressions to one another. And we would always, like, do it at parties and stuff and compete. And it's funny because we both went on to like, have top, like, I don't know, like really viral Trump impressions on TikTok.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Right.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

He did it first and then I started doing it honestly. And I think it's just a voice that came naturally to me because I was telling you earlier, but my mom kind of like sounds like Trump in a way. Like the specific way she nags me. She'll just be like, she'll call me and be like, austin, what's the matter?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You don't call your mother? You don't love your mother?

[Chrissy (Host)]

What's the matter?

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

You hate your mother? Why don't you call your mother? You hate her, don't you? You know, your mother is so good to you. She's so good to you. Like the way, like, I made a.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Connection earlier that I didn't get, but now I understand. It is kind of like a naggy Jewish mother. Like that New York, you know, kind of thing going on.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

And, like, I don't know what you're talking about. What? Like, I don't even know what to.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Call that kind of tone. Your perspective, but just like, sarcastic and.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Like, I don't know, like, nagy.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I don't know. Yeah, but like, so that kind of came naturally to me. And I was also a software engineer, but I had quit. I was a software engineer at Microsoft for four years.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Oh, wow.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, well, this has got to be much more fun. Yeah. And so now you, you're touring around. You, you do I see on your. At least Instagram, you've, you've done some club dates, you're working the room.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

And so you, your virality. I mean, I was telling the story to Austin, but it was Astrid who actually found you. She'd been following you for a while. And every once in a blue moon, she would stick you in my face, stick her phone in my face.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

You gotta watch this guy.

[Chrissy (Host)]

He's like his. And then I, I said, oh, we got to get this guy on the show. I had no idea, no clue that you've also. This has really taken you places. Like, you've been on Stern. Is there any, any place else you've been showcased with these impressions?

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Stern is the biggest one. Probably, like, they reached out to me beginning of last year.

[Promo Announcer]

Until now.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Until now.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Until the commercial breaks a little bigger. And then, yeah, they hit me up and I was doing like, Joe Pesci and like Trump and Desantis even.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Other than that.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

What other big. Yeah, honestly, I think Stern was the, I mean, that's obviously commercial break.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

That's huge.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I don't think. Yeah, not any other. I mean, I'd like to do more like, TV thing.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Sure haven't. Yeah, I, I, I, I think it's right. I think they should use you on tv. I think, like, it's an election season. There's got to be some shows out there, like the Hope so Night shows.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

We'll see.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, I hope you're. Hope your agent's working on that for you because they really are incredible impressions. And then on at times there's even. Is, is that makeup? Are you doing Like a filter sometimes. My wife has shown me a few where it looks like you put some like actual gear on.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Well, there was recently I did one with makeup.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Because I was like filming a YouTube sketch, so then I just did a tik tok while I was was on set. But usually I'm just like not doing any makeup and I'm just like.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Doing the faces and stuff.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. Actually you got the face down.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah. Closing your eyes with the Biden clinching.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It's so good. So have you been doing club dates and stuff like that?

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah. So I'm going to soon announce fall dates for my standup and then I also tour around with Tech Rocho. I'm one of the co founders of that where we go around the country and we roast tech people.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Now do you roast them to their face? Like, are they like the difference?

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, they're all tech people that buy tickets on their own volition.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

So my next ones that I'm doing are August 8th in New York City, Tech Row show. Oh, I'm doing August 7th. I'm doing August 7th and September 12th, I'm doing stand up in New York.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Okay.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Producing a, like a stand up slash character show. And then. Yeah, August 8th, I'm doing a Tech Row show in New York. August 9th, doing a Tech Row show in Chicago. And then like the week of the August 19th, we're going to Seattle and San Francisco for Tech Row show.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

That's a big one.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Well, I don't know if we're announcing.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yet, but we're gonna.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, by the time it's out, we'll have it. But we're going to India in October for Tech Roast.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, that's gonna be a, that's gonna be a fun one. And so give us the premise of the show. Like you set up on a deus and people come up and then you roast them or do you pick people?

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, so it's sort of like a three person crowd work show.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Okay.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Where we'll. Everyone who's like most of our fans are like engineers or PMs or like these like people in tech. But you don't have to be in tech to enjoy the show. A lot of stuff, CEOs will come, so we'll like call on founders and make fun of their like, startups and then we'll like leverage our screen behind us, like do a deep dive on them to find like information about them and roast them. We'll do like games we made with AI where we'll like pit the like software engineer, like awkward tech people against.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

An AI to see who could be more empathetic.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Wow, that's awesome.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

It's a really fun show.

[Chrissy (Host)]

And then you also have a podcast, right? That's. That you started.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yes. Tech road shows. A podcast that I'm on and host of called a visionary Billionaire Genius Podcast.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I love that name.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

So we get tech people who we've never met before, like CEOs or founders and they tell us their company and we just make fun of them.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh that's. That's brilliant. Crowd work is some of my favorite type of comp. When you do it well, if you do it well, it's really funny. And I know a lot of people are into crowd work, but there's some folks who are into crowd work. But I think that it's like very hit or miss. But if you can do it, you can do it funny. And I think you have a focus. So that may make it even more like funny is that you specifically roast tech bros. Right. Tech. Tech geniuses that are out there doing this.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

That's.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

That makes it really fun to roast it there. Like, like just the, the era of deck people is just so like everyone's so like privileged and like has so much money and like honestly people are like. It's almost a delusional environment.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

And you were in it for 4 years too, so.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, I was merely a little cog of a, you know, in the system as a software engineer at Microsoft. So I wasn't in like the startup part of it. But like there's. Yeah, there's like the big tech side. There's. Yeah, there's like the, the traditional like slower paced monolith organizations that you could just be part of. And those are more like you get a high salary and it's like somewhat stable of a career.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

And like the professionals are there. And then you have like these startups where like early 20s something people will get millions of dollars from venture capitalists and kind of just wing it. And it's like a really fast paced, chaotic environment. I wasn't part of that, but it's interesting to see them and, and laugh at them. And they're all in like building AI companies now of course, pivoting from Web3 to AI.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, it's just, it's just an influx of cash. I was part of a startup company. It was like seven of us and we got funded. We got like you know, round a angel C investing type stuff and, and it had to do with fantasy sports. This is like the early 2000s, when all of this stuff was just kind of coming online. Right. Yahoo. And all these players were getting into the game, and there was a fantasy sports company. And I'm telling you what, the guy who ran the company went from, like, struggling to pay his rent to, like, buying the. The walkie talkie that Captain Kirk used in the original Star Trek episode for, like, 35% above asking overnight. It was unbelievable the amount of cash these guys were burning. This guy specifically was burning through with no intended purpose for the company.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It was like the company was flailing, and he was like, I got a brand new.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Wait, was he using the company funding to get rich?

[Chrissy (Host)]

I don't want to say that on air, but I can only assume his fortunes changed really quick. He probably gave himself some huge fats.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Well, this is what I've not.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I've observed that it's like most businesses, you think like, if you're, like, a person getting into business, like a sane, regular person, you're trying to start, like, a profitable business. Like, like, all right, how can I make a business? Like, what is it called? Like, the business design business. What's the business strategy? What's the thing?

[Chrissy (Host)]

Oh, business plan. Yeah, yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Business plan. Wow. I don't know that.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Facebook.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Business blueprint.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

You're like, let me make a business plan. Let me think it through. I'm going to figure out how to make. Make this thing profitable in, like, you know, a few months. But, like, in Silicon Valley, it's like, all right, I have this, like, ridiculous idea. Let me get funding based on, like, having this network of people I know and, like, this skill set.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yes.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

And then you get, like, a ton of money. You raise a lot of money on an idea, and then you, like, start building out an organization, hiring people. And then you, like, don't even have, like, a profitable thing. You just have, like, this idea and a hunch that it might work. And then you just, like, keep raising investor rounds, and then you'll skim some percentage points off the top each time. So you're, like, personally accumulating millions of dollars. And then meanwhile, you have this big, bloated organization with a ton of cash in it that doesn't necessarily reflect the reality that people want to purchase this thing.

[Chrissy (Host)]

That's right.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

And then you're just. And then it'll like, collapse.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

But you.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

You've already skimmed your money off the top in the investor rounds. So you could be, like, a completely failed founder who's Never made anything meaningful or had a product that was like widely adopted and just like keep rinsing and repeating of getting it like 80% of the way and just like making money from like investors.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

And I imagine that's like how a lot of like tech entrepreneurs are making money.

[Chrissy (Host)]

It's a whole cyclical thing. It's a, it's an ecosystem over there. It's a write off off. They understand the investors, understand who. The investors who are billionaires many times over have hedge funds that are just dumping money into them. Understand if it doesn't win, it's a tax write off. If it wins on the small, tiny percentage that win cover almost all the losses. Like Amazon and Netflix are examples of companies that for so many years were completely unprofitable, brand new ideas. But the people who ran those companies were really good at raising money and keeping people interested in their idea. And. But there are millions of companies that never, their idea never went in, they never even made a product. Right. And they just keep on sucking up this money. But it's part of the equation, it's part of the ecosystem, it's how they live. And it's a world that I can only imagine or dream, most of us can only imagine or dream of living in or roasting the people who do.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I like the roasting part better.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I think it's really a really fast, fascinating environment. Definitely.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. I actually think that's a winner of an idea. I think that's like a winner of a podcast, a winner of a live show.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Raise some money.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, you should go raise some money.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

Thanks.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, I'm not sure what we would do with it yet, but you may.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Probably should make the show bigger, make it better, make it more fun.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Walkie talkies.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, yeah. Star Trek walkie talk.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, Buy some memorabilia.

[Chrissy (Host)]

There's like a famous episode of, of Star Trek, which I have not, you know, the original, I've seen some episodes of. But there's a famous episode, it's called the Tribbles. And it's like these little tiny little fuzzballs in the show where they just kind of start like, like multiplying. And so every scene there's more tribbles, just like these big fuzzy stuff animals essentially. But they're worth like hundreds of thousands of dollars if you can find an original one. And this guy was like, he was trying, he was on a mission to find as many as he could. I'm like, hey, should we actually try and make this company work?

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Do you think?

[Chrissy (Host)]

We need customers? And he's like, I need tribbles. And I'm like, tribbles, what are you doing over there?

[Astrid (Co-host)]

So it's still around, right?

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. What's that?

[Astrid (Co-host)]

It's still around, right?

[Chrissy (Host)]

It closed nine months after it opened. It just became another. Another write off. Austin, you are brilliant, brother. You. Your impressions, I mean, obviously they've gone viral all over the place. Did you expect this to happen? Like you surprised.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I mean, I. I always thought I was a funny fellow, but I never knew if I would, like, go viral. I always wanted to.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Because I thought that would help jump start my comedy career and I'm grateful that it did. Yeah.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Does your old college roommate also do comedy as well or. The one, the other one that went viral?

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Not really.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah, he's in tech. Yeah, he's kind of.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, he's in tech.

[Joe Biden Impressionist]

He is. Actually.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Austin's got more skill. Austin's got a better skill set. He's got something to fall back on.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

You need to come down to Atlanta, do a showdown.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Do a showdown in Atlanta. Have you done one yet?

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Yeah, we're actually probably going to next year.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Well, yeah, we will for sure if you come. We're going to see you. So give out your personal social so that people can. Can see you.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I am at Austin Nasso. A U S T I N a S S O.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Okay.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

And then check out tech roast show at Tech Roast show.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Yeah. Please follow the. The podcast. We'll put all of the links in the show notes. We'll talk about this probably tomorrow and forever and ever. Amen. Also, Austin, would you come back to the show because we. I feel like we're gonna need more of your. Your spots. You're on the spot.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Yeah, I'd love to learn. Let me know.

[Chrissy (Host)]

You gotta learn a Kamala voice now.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

Oh, yeah, Kamal's up next. Let me know. I'll do some Zuckerberg and Elon. I'll save some more for next.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Zuckerberg and Elon, I love that.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

So let me know. I need to. Especially because we're. We just recorded a bunch of video episodes of our new podcast and they said we need to, like, go on podcasts and promote.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Well, then I have no idea what.

[Austin Nasso (Guest Comedian)]

I'm doing, so I will happily give you any impressions you want and let me know.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Thank you. You're welcome back anytime. We will. We'll set it up and I promise it won't be long when you get those videos out. We will be here for. You're here for us. We're here for you. That's the way it works.

[Promo Announcer]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Austin Nassau, very talented young man making waves out there on social media and now live. Thank you also for joining us today.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Thanks.

[Donald Trump Impressionist]

Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Wow. What a talented guy.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Oh, my God. I love the man behind the voices.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Man behind the voices. We got it. We got captured.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Well, that was really fun.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I know that there's a lot of headless voice stuff that goes on in like, you know, radio and stuff like that. And he was telling us he'd been on Stern for a while and they never, like, talk to Austin, the actual guy now.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

I wanted to talk to him and hear his life story.

[Chrissy (Host)]

But then what, you know, what are you doing it for if you're not coming on to promote yourself, you know what I'm saying? Like, I want to give the guy some promotion too.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Plus, I'm sure Stern paid him and.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

That'S just not something we're prepared to do for that.

[Promo Announcer]

Yeah.

[Chrissy (Host)]

Now we can't afford all those luxuries. No way. Austin Nasso, very good at what he does. Very funny on the socials. You gotta follow him. I'm sure a lot of interesting stuff coming up in the election season that you must follow. So please do that at Austin Nassau and then go check out his podcasts too. Put all the link in the show notes. Christina will do that for you because she is good at her job. That's what she will do. Also. 24th in Daniel Point, 25th in Orlando, Florida. Chrissy and I are going to be down there doing shows. Come on and come see us doing our thing. I think we should have links.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

We don't know what that thing is yet.

[Chrissy (Host)]

No, we have no idea. Yes. We're gonna need to take a break and figure that out, actually. So. So Daniel Point Improv Funny Bone in Orlando. Come see us. Tickets should be available now on the website or on social media. And if not, they will be over the next day or so. So please do us a favor. Come and see us. We would love it. Go to tcb podcast.com for all the updated information, audio, video. Get your free sticker, hit the contact us button, Send us a line, get the drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address. We'll send you some stickers for free, no questions asked. If you're going to be at Daniel Point or Orlando, please let us know and we might bring something special for you. You can text us. 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all. Voicemail or text messages. Want to thank Brian Moses for being here. This word. Stay tuned. You want to see Chrissy and irost, let us know. Also, add the commercial break on instagram. You can DM us there. YouTube.com the commercial break for President Trump and President Biden's sketches. So go there. Follow us. Subscribe to us. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Astrid (Co-host)]

Love you.

[Chrissy (Host)]

I'll say best to you, best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. I take a dick and keep on licking.