TCB Spring Breaker: Hey Dad, Who's Calling?

Summary

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The Commercial Break

TCB Spring Breaker: Hey Dad, Who's Calling?

Date: March 26, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Kristen Joy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this dynamic and hilarious episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy riff on everything from 90s-era phone bills and psychic hotlines, to the very real absurdities of late-stage capitalism and the latest comet conspiracy theories. The show, as always, is an unscripted, rollicking ride through current events, childhood memories, and social commentary—peppered with plenty of self-aware tangents, political hot takes, and improv banter. The episode stands out for its unfiltered takes on Trump’s White House "bulldozing," the perils of impulsive shopping (QVC, anyone?), and an exploration of the mysterious interstellar comet "3i."

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Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. The Spring Break Reassurance, TCB TV Anthem (00:00–04:34)

• Bryan opens playfully, chiding the audience for caring about the show's spring break status:

  "You know what's so damn annoying about some of you people? You care."
  (00:00, Bryan Green)

• Announces their return date and sets up the replay of a favorite TCB episode for "almost laughing twice."
• Launch into the satirical, over-the-top “TCB TV” theme song lampooning TV sitcom tropes and religious moralizing.

2. Phone Bill Trauma & Psychic Hotlines (04:34–15:44)

• Bryan shares a comically traumatic story about racking up a massive phone bill as a teen calling TV psychics (not sex lines—he was too afraid!).

  "I couldn’t call collect. I couldn’t call 411... That cured me quickly of wanting to call anybody and spend any money. I should have called the sex hotline is what I should have been."
  (04:34, Bryan Green)

• Krissy: “I'm surprised you didn’t do that one.”
  (05:12, Kristen Joy Hoadley)
• Discussion of 90s-era phone culture: private lines for teens, the cost of car phones, pagers, and the era of 1-900 numbers.

3. The Rise & Fall of TV Psychics & QVC Addictions (11:48–17:56)

• Reflection on the billion-dollar industry of TV psychics (Dionne Warwick, Miss Cleo) and the psychological tricks behind phone hotlines.
• Both hosts recall family members (notably grandfathers and mothers) obsessed with late-night gadget shopping.

  "Millions of Americans must have, because... it still remains a billion dollar business."
  (16:50, Bryan Green)

• Discussion of the George Foreman Grill and the status-symbol kitchen gadget phenomena.

4. Apple Slicers, Infomercials, and Gadget Fails (18:01–22:14)

• Hilarious story of Bryan trying to use an apple slicer for his toddler ("Manzana! Manzana!") and completely failing.

  "I cannot for the life of me understand how this thing works..."
  (19:55, Bryan Green)

• Krissy and Bryan connect this to infomercial mania and the kitchen gadget graveyards created by QVC and Amazon impulse buys.

5. Modern Impulse Buying & Predatory Credit Systems (22:14–26:14)

• Candid discussion of how Amazon has normalized shopping addiction and made it easier than ever to buy unnecessary gadgets.
• Gripes about predatory credit extensions by QVC/PRN (TV Psychic Reader Network) and the financial pitfalls for vulnerable populations:

  "I have called QVC and I’ve said, You are taking advantage... you're taking advantage of an old lady. It is predatory."
  (23:29, Bryan Green)

6. Corrupt Grifting, Political Absurdities & White House “Bulldozer” (26:14–46:23)

• Tongue-in-cheek and earnest takes on Trump’s commercialization and literal bulldozing of part of the White House for a "ballroom"—with private corporate funding.

  "It really is idiocracy... you can't put Xfinity digital signs on the top of the roof."
  (34:10, Bryan Green)

• Critique of the cyclical, bipartisan corruption where everything, even historical monuments, is for sale:

  "That is a banana republic. That's what it is. And I'm not saying it doesn't happen with other administrations... but sometimes those people get caught and snaps everybody else up into line."
  (40:11, Bryan Green)

• Commentary circles back to the harms of misplaced government spending versus supporting social safety nets like SNAP, healthcare, and feeding hungry children.

7. The Mysterious Comet “3i”: Aliens or Astronomy? (49:48–61:09)

• The duo turns to the latest cosmic concern: an interstellar object dubbed 3i (with the podcast's own “ChatGPT” chiming in).

  "There are many other scientists... who are curious... that this object is behaving strangely and that that strange behavior may or may not be extraterrestrial."
  (50:51, Bryan Green)

• Playful summary of Harvard physicist Avi Loeb’s theory that the comet’s odd trajectory and industrial metals might point to alien origins.
• Fun speculation on alien intentions: resource theft, "zoo theory" observation, or just taking nudes of humanity.
• Sarcastic, reassuring advice about government secret plans for extraterrestrial contact:

  “They either have a plan or a bomb bunker. And it doesn’t matter which one. You’re not included in either. So just, you know, live your life.”
  (59:44, Bryan Green)

8. TV Show Recommendations & Political Satire (61:09–63:27)

• Joyously compare The Diplomat, Veep, and (constant favorite) The West Wing:

  "But Leo doesn't exist and the guy who played him died. So there you go."
  (62:17, Bryan Green)

9. Call to Action & Final Musings (63:39–End)

• Housekeeping: promoting Bryan’s new podcast "After the Break", where to find TCB, free stickers, and their favorite episodes.
• The hosts close with mutual appreciation and a humorous fatalism about the future:

  "Best to you. Out there in the podcast universe until we all die a fiery death. We will say, we must say, we will say goodbye."
  (64:53, Bryan Green)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It just feels disrespectful. Disney World does a better job hiding demolition than the White House did."
  (32:08, Bryan Green, on Trump’s White House construction)

• “We’re literally going to have a 29.99-a-month Xfinity scroller on the top of the White House.”
  (42:41, Bryan Green)

• “If Avi [Loeb] is out there screaming about it, then there are other people who’ve been thinking about it not for a minute, but for a long time.”
  (59:43, Bryan Green)

• “Only control the things you can control. That’s right. Only Joe Rogan’s gonna know about it in the podcast world.”
  (62:39, Kristen Joy Hoadley & Bryan Green)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:18: Bryan explains the TCB “spring break”
• 04:34–06:48: Phone bill woes, beginnings of 90s psychic hotline story
• 11:09–12:59: TV psychic/sex line industry, the Miss Cleo era
• 18:01–21:47: Apple slicer disaster and gadget graveyards
• 26:14–40:11: White House demolition, corporate sponsors, and corruption
• 49:48–54:52: Comet 3i, alien speculation (Avi Loeb theory)
• 61:09–63:27: Show recommendations, The West Wing nostalgia
• 63:39–64:53: Wrap-up, calls to action, existential finale

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic TCB: irreverent, tangential, self-aware, and peppered with offbeat humor. Bryan’s showman energy bounces off Krissy’s dry wit, and both balance the line between absurdist satire and real-world exasperation. The style is casual and chaotic, but threaded with sharp cultural commentary.

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For new listeners:
You’ll get a taste of why The Commercial Break has been called the “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts”: a little bit of everything, swirling together into something entirely its own.

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Transcript

[Brian Greene]

You know what's so damn annoying about some of you people? You care. There's nothing that drives me more crazy in this world. People that care. So many of you calling and texting and texting and calling and emailing. Concerned for my well being. I think mainly because, let's face it, if one of us is going to croak, it's going to be me. Chris is going to live to 110 and I'm going to keel over eating cream and cereal next Sunday. Any potatoes? What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, you. You care. And so that means I have to do more work and come on here and explain to you that we're just on spring break. We may or may not have mentioned this was to happen, but I promise you, everything is fine. Chrissy and I will be back on March 31st, streaming live on YouTube.com the commercial break. So do yourself a favor, run over there, subscribe to the channel, make sure you got notifications on and then you'll get notified when we go live, which is usually about 1:00pm Eastern Standard Time. Until then, I have randomly selected, and by randomly I mean combed through literally hundreds of episodes to find ones I think you you're going to enjoy. So here's another TCB spring break classic. If you're a regular listener of the show, it's a chance to almost laugh twice. And if you're a new listener to the show, well, what in the world are you thinking? Your mama taught you better. We'll see you next week. Until then, let's start the show.

[TCB Theme Singer]

So you've loved, you lost a had some along the way. Life gives you lots of lacks but you're in your own way. You take the good and the bad but you don't ever win. That's because God hates you and you are full of sin. So grab your good book and raleigh the family. It's time for tcb tv. That's right, ttcb tv. We love our tcb tv. We love our TCB tv. So you play by the rules. You did it all right. But you're still in the basement and alone all night. You paid your dues, you've cleaned your room but your mom still makes lunch and you sleep till noon. So grab your pants and take a seat. It's time for TCB tv.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, yeah. Tc, CB tv.

[TCB Theme Singer]

We love our TCB tv. We love our tcb tv. We love our tcb tv. Turn on tcb tv. Gotta have tcb tv. We love our tcb tv. We love our tcb tv. We love our tcb tv. We love rtcb tv.

[Brian Greene]

On this episode of the commercial. Commercial break. And when my dad got that phone bill a month later, trouble. He flipped his and all charging privileges on the phone were taking off. I couldn't call collect. I couldn't call 41 1, which I think you at some point became a charge service like 50 cents to call 41 1, which was the early search engine for telephone numbers and other information. It was literally called information. That's what you would call. So all of that is blocked. All of it. Okay. So I got in trouble with that. That cured me quickly of wanting to call anybody and spend any money. I should have called the sex hotline is what I should have been. I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm surprised you didn't do that one.

[Brian Greene]

I didn't. I was too afraid to do that because I think I knew that my dad got the bill and that I would, I would be busted. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend, friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you out there on the podcast universe. So much to talk about today. We've got three I the comet that is comet or question mark spaceship that is traveling around the solar system right now, hiding behind the sun, doing things that no one else has seen it seen a comet do. And now we're getting our first pictures. Apparently. I'd like to I have seen them all over the place, but I have yet to verify it from a reputable source. So there's a lot of pictures. It looks strange to me. It's traveling at 137 miles per hour. 137 miles per second or something like that. It is big. It is weird.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And it will make its appearance on 1111 of this year. For 88 minutes it will be able to be seen and then it will be gone. No one knows. No one knows. Not even the people who study this stuff understand why it's acting the way it's acting and its interstellar meaning it came from somewhere in our galaxy and now it's coming to our solar system and then it's gone. It's hiding behind the sun. Its tail is facing the sun instead of away from the sun, which is not how a comet usually acts. Usually the tail is burning off in a different direction. I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Spooky.

[Brian Greene]

Could this be it? I don't know if it is Let us all go down peacefully with love and joy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And Nikes.

[Brian Greene]

And Nikes. That's right. And nice shoes. May we all go down with nice shoes. Baby, get the kids some new shoes, even though we can't afford it. Buy them. Because you know what? 11. 11. That's our day, kids. 11. 11, too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. That's pretty crazy. Well, that's funny, because last night I was, you know. Because of the meteor showers going on right now.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And I really wanted to see it, but I'm in the city.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, you're in the city.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The light pollution. So I, you know, I was outside looking for it last night. I was like, dang it, there's too much light. So I pulled out my app, my night sky app, which I love it.

[Brian Greene]

I'm on it, too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And so I'm pointing it around the sky, and I see the asteroids. They're shooting everywhere, you know, and then I see the comet thing, and I was like, what is that?

[Brian Greene]

Oh, you saw it?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's wild. It popped up on my. The night sky.

[Brian Greene]

But it's behind the sun right now. I think we. I don't know. I don't think we can see it necessarily.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I showed it in the sky. I didn't with my naked eye see it, but I saw it through the app. It was like, blazing through the sky. I was like, what is that, a comet? I guess.

[Brian Greene]

Unbelievable. Just. Yeah, it's weird. It's wild. This is now the second time in a couple of years that this has happened. If you remember the Oolonga, Ulamamba, whatever it was, the Hawaiian thing that came by that would looked like, you know, basically a big dick that was flying through the sky and people couldn't figure it out.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And so was that Bezos's starship?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. I wouldn't put it past any of these guys to be flying around interstellar.

[TCB Theme Singer]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I just don't know. And so, you know, I hate to speculate, but this is this. It's close to home, and it's going to be close enough closer than most. And, you know, there's 0% chance, according to people who study this stuff, 0% chance it's going to hit Earth. Like a.0001% chance it could hit the moon. But, I mean, there's either 0 or 100% chance. And they'll figure that out sometime around, you know, later on this month, which will give us 11 days to react to it. So there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We'd be screwed.

[Brian Greene]

We would not be in a good position. It Would change the tides. It would change a lot of stuff about the way that we live. If the moon was to. Was to be off course or even think about it, molested in any way, like, it would just change the things on earth that we don't even understand. Right. It would change. All your periods would be different. All your moon cycles would be half moon cycles or something. I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Who knows?

[Brian Greene]

You guys could turn into. You girls could turn into crazy werewolves. And guys, we'd just be left to our own devices here to raise our wives, wild children. And then of course, today, as we're talking, as we, Chrissy and I are recording this, the 31 people busted in a huge NBA betting and poker scandal. That's insane. Although this is not the first time there's been a bed. People, you know, you have Pete Rose.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You have the. There was a guy that was, I forget back in the 80s or 90s, he was throwing college games and making big money off that because he owed some crime family money. But this includes all of the five major crime families. They're all involved in it. Most of it has to do with poker and not with throwing basketball games. Poker games, secret poker games where they had like X ray machines under the table. They had machines that were. That, that, that from far away, a computer could tell which card to spit out. Either a face card or a number

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

are already making money, doing millions. They're. They're regular. Their day job.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. But this is what the crime families do. They find a way to get in the middle of these, you know, lucrative, illegal. And then they just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm talking about the NBA people.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I don't understand that one. Because the guy Rosier, who just got, you know, he spent 10 years in the NBA and then you've got this coach that's caught up. And he also was like. He was an NBA champ and then he spent many years in the NBA and now he's spent many years coaching on and off, and it's just beyond me. But you never know what's going through someone's head and you never know why they need money and you never know what they're willing to do for it. And sometimes from a place of desperation, you do stupid shit. So I don't want to cast judgment.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we don't know all the details.

[Brian Greene]

We all do stupid shit. And may the court system will figure it out. You know, I feel great that our Cash Patel, our tiny little FBI director.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. That he's in charge.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Everything he can't Blink. But hopefully he can figure this out. What's wrong with his eyes? I mean, he's got a thyroid problem or something. Someone should check that out. I mean he does not blink. His eyes are so buggy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What's his name? You should check him out.

[Brian Greene]

Oh yeah, rfk. Yeah, that's the last guy you should be checking anybody out. That guy is a total fucking kook, honestly. Okay. But anyway, all of that, all of that to be said, Chrissy has finally gotten gotten around to listening to my new podcast. Thank you very much for that. The after the Break is currently available on all your podcast players. I secretly quietly rolled out the first episode. You can go listen to it now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Not so see, it's a soft release.

[Brian Greene]

It is called a soft launch. It means I don't like it. So you maybe you should go listen to it. But we did a great job. Thank you very much. But we were talking about. It's about TV psychics. It's about psychics in general. General. But may I focus in on TV psychics, which is a billion dollar, become a billion dollar industry. And this all kind of started. I'm not going to rehash my entire hour and a half long podcast, but it all started. This crazy, this craze that's going on right now started with the 1900 numbers back in the 80s when they become became very popular and very lucrative businesses for landline based telecommunication companies who would charge outrageous per minute fees for you to call and talk to a supposed psychic.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was psychics and sex.

[Brian Greene]

Those were the two things. Psychics and sex. You're right about that, yeah. Psychics and sex. You were either calling a dating hotline, a porn hotline, sex hotline, or you were calling a psychic. And for a minute there, for probably like a decade, it was really about the psychics. And Dionne Warwick was buddied up and she had a line that I don't think got in any trouble, but maybe it did. But the. Ms. Cleo.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Ms. Cleo, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Just ended in the early 2000s. Really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wow. It lasted that long?

[Brian Greene]

It lasted that long. And that was prn, the Psychics Readers Network. And I was telling Chrissy, this led to an interesting conversation. But I was telling Christy that when I was a kid I had my own phone line. So for our 15th birthday, I think 14th or 15th birthday, my dad installed a phone line for each of us.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's nice.

[Brian Greene]

Well, I think he was sick of us taking up all the house phone time. Right. It was getting a little much. And you got Two twin teenage boys. And that's your main method of communication? There's no. I mean, there's pagers, but there's no cell phones. So they have cell phones, but they're very expensive. They're car phones. Clunky and big. My dad had one, but it's like a thousand. Speaking about per minute fees. It's like a thousand dollars a minute to call locally. It was cr. It was insane dollars. And so my dad had it, but he was like, we only use this in emergency circumstances.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My dad gave me one for emergencies.

[Brian Greene]

So. Happy birthday. We obviously never made big deals about birthdays, but happy birthday. And what we unwrapped was a phone. An actual phone, Like a physical phone?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

And Kevin and I were like, oh, great. Thanks for the phone, dad. That's cool. We can.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is it cordless?

[Brian Greene]

It was not cordless until a couple of years later when I paid for my own cordless phone. But. But it had a big cord, so you could walk around the entire room with it. And then he said, I have installed your own phone lines in your own room. Now, we already had the outlet, but he said, you've. Here's your phone number. Here's your phone number, and I'm here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's very cool of him.

[Brian Greene]

Great. Until a couple years later when one night I am watching one of those channels, I see Ms. Cleo and I call her up, right? And of course, it's not Ms. Cleo that's talking to me, it's somebody on the other line. But they were so good at talking to me that they got me. And they got me on like a hour and a half. Long phone call. A long phone call. And I just didn't understand at the time. I mean, I probably did somewhere, but I wasn't thinking all the way through as teenagers don't do. And when my dad got that phone bill a month later, ooh, trouble. He fucking flipped his shit. And all charging privileges on the phone were taking off. I couldn't call collect. I couldn't call 41 1, which you. I think you at some point became a charge service, like 50 cents to call 41 1, which was the early search engine for telephone numbers and other information. It was literally called information. That's what you would call. So all of that is blocked. All of it. Okay. So I got in trouble. That cured me quickly of wanting to call anybody and spend any money. I should have called the sex hotline is what.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I should have been surprised. You didn't do that one.

[Brian Greene]

I didn't I was too afraid to do that because I think I knew that my dad got the bill and that I would. I would be busted, essentially. So what I learned many years later was that my grandfather was also prone to spending money calling QVC late night infomercials, possibly 1900 numbers and spending dick loads of money buying stuff.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My grandfather was too. He loved all. I mean, forever. There was. It was cooking. All the cooking gadgets, the choppers and the cookers and the boilers and the steamers and the. What? Anything and everything. And yeah, he ended up having a whole closet full of all of these gadgets. And I ended up taking some of them. When we moved him out of his house to go to the retirement home, I ended up taking some of. They were great ideas, a lot of them. They were just cheaply made for mass production, so they didn't last long.

[Brian Greene]

Agreed.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But they. He had a whole, you know, graveyard full of them.

[Brian Greene]

I don't listen. Millions of Americans must have, because it was, you know, in my research for TV psychics, I went down the 1900 craze and the infomercial craze, rabbit hole also. And it still remains a billion dollar business. The thing is, is that those kitchen gadgets, when they work, can be really cool. They work, they save you time, they make food that you like, whatever it is. I mean, there was that lady who was selling all kind of kitchen gadgets and cookbooks on how, you know, it was like a air boiler, right? An air boiler. What the is an air boiler? Right? I made, you know, nacho cheddar cheese yourself, potatoes with my air boiler. Look at this. And, you know, show these beautiful pictures of this food. And then you get the mach. You never know how to work it. Just a piece of junk, you know, The George Foreman Grill made that guy so wealthy. He was a heavyweight champion of the world. But Don King took all his money like Don King took everybody else's money. He did. You know, he was broke until the George Foreman Grill took over the world. I think my grandfather had like four of them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we had a bunch of them.

[Brian Greene]

It's unbelievable.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I took one to college. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

So this is kind of interesting because we're talking about this. Last night, my youngest, who's just now, you know, she's a toddler and she's communicating pretty well, but she's also in that, like, terrible twos, terrible threes stage. So at any moment, she turns into a nightmare. At any moment, throwing a hole in, you can flip, you know, it doesn't matter. The carpet isn't green. I can't paint the walls. Why does my foot look like that? Right? All this stuff just sets her down a path. And it can go on. This can last for half an hour, 45 minutes. You probably heard some of it in the background of the show when it happens. It's loud. And, you know, as a parent, you learn to deal with it, but it can be frustrating. So last night, just trying to get to the finish line, just trying to get to 7 o' clock when it's time to put her to sleep, right? I'm just trying to get there. It's dinner time. Everything's going well. And then all of the sudden, she sees apples. And she goes fucking bananas, right? Bananas for the apples.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She wanted them.

[Brian Greene]

I want Manzana. Manzana, Daddy. Manzana. Manzana. And I'm like, holy shit, kid. Okay, Manzana. So I go. And I'm washing it. Astrid's sitting there, I'm washing it, and I'm like, goddamn, I hate cutting apples. But I guess I'm gonna go cut App. And I go to take out a note.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's better than candy.

[Brian Greene]

This is absolutely true. So thank God for small favors. I go to take out a knife and she, no, not the knife. Don't do the knife. Don't do the knife. What the are you talking about? You want the whole apple? Here's the whole apple. No, she drops down to the floor. She's banging her head against the floor, hair wild everywhere. No, I don't use the thing. What are you talking about? And Astrid goes, use the thing, the apple slicer. And that's what she wants.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And I'm like, oh, the apple slicer.

[Brian Greene]

What is an apple slicer? And she goes, you don't know what an apple slicer is? It's sitting on the counter. It's like this round thing with a bunch of blades in it, right? And there's a little hole in the middle where the blades are attached. I cannot for the life of me understand how this thing works, because it's sharp on one end and it's dull on the other. But you're supposed to. So I'm trying to push the apple through the apple slicer, right? And Astrid is looking at me and she goes, what are you doing? And I go, I don't know. I'm trying to slice the apple, but you gotta use the sharp side, right? And she's like, brian, how can you be so. I wish I was videotaping this. How can you be so Dumb. And I'm like, you use the sharp side. You must use the sharp side. She says, why are you trying to push it through? Don't you. You're gonna end up with five fingers hanging out on the wall.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right, right. Those things are sharp.

[Brian Greene]

I didn't know that. You had to push it. Pull. You had to take the whole contraption and push it through the apple. I'm trying to push the apple through the contraption. I'm about to kill myself right here in front of my screaming child.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's like the onion thing that my grandfather had. It was like, you had to push it on top, and then it would chop it.

[Brian Greene]

Would make it a blooming onion, right? Yeah. And this is what they had. Same thing they have back at the back of the fucking Chili's, Right. It's one of those Bloomin Onion things. Chrissy, I swear to God, I got so upset at everybody because Astrid was making fun of me, and I was like, I've never seen one of these. What? I don't know how to work it. I don't know how to do it. And she's like, use your common sense. Why would you put your hand through that apple slicer? And I'm like, I didn't intend to put my hand through the apple slicer. You were gonna let me do it. And she's like, I just wish I had videotaped that, because you really are losing your marbles. This is another one of those, you know, $10 contraptions.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The gadget. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

That you. That sit at the corner of a grocery store aisle that you buy, that you go, oh, that's great. It really does make your life easier.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

But they sell those on our infomercials for, like, 29.99 plus 29.99 shipping. And hand. $29.99 plus $29.99 shipping. It's a huge market, and so many people that we know are probably secretly addicted to buying that shit. I mean, my mother is. I'll tell you right now, it's affordable.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And they make it look so good. I mean, it's going to solve everything in your life.

[Brian Greene]

You can solve all problems after midnight on basic cable. That's what happens.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

My mom got in such a mess with that. Fucking cute.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My mom did, too, back in the day.

[Brian Greene]

So many times.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She's not using it. It anymore, obviously, because she's not with us anymore.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, well, we don't know, but. We don't think so.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But yeah. My dad had to put the Kibosh down on that. That was like in the 90s.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, it just went. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, we had boxes. It was like, Amazon is now with the boxes coming all the time. We had boxes of all this stuff coming all the time. My dad finally was like, no more. Amazing.

[Brian Greene]

That's the thing. I think Amazon has kind of normalized this impulse of purchasing. And it can be there today. Like, if you buy it at the right time, it's the right item. You have prime. It can be there today. And I'm a victim of this. All these wires in the studio. Yeah, I wouldn't have all these wires in the studio if Amazon didn't exist, because I would have to go to a store and physically pick it out, and it would just be a much more painful process. But Amazon makes it so easier, Walmart.com or whatever, that it's.

[ChatGPT]

It.

[Brian Greene]

I. I don't know. It's just one of those things. It's a blessing and a curse. That's it. And. And you know, my mom, we've bailed her out so many times with qvc. I have called QVC and I've said, you are.

[TCB Theme Singer]

You did.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You told me about that.

[Brian Greene]

You are taking advantage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Don't let her buy anything.

[Brian Greene]

Why are you extending her credit? She doesn't have any money. And you keep on extending her credit even though she's failing to pay the bills that she has right now. You gotta stop. You're taking advantage of an old lady. It is predatory in. I see their point of view. She has a free will. Like, how do we know who she is? But I said, this is like the fifth time that my mom has been in some kind of debt to you, where the debt is close to defaulting. Absolutely. Well, finally, Finally. I think the last time I got through to them because they won't let her purchase. And she keeps on saying, I just want to buy this one. Can you call. Hi, Brian, can you call qvc? I found a really pretty dress. And you know, I don't have any. You have dresses, Mom, I went into your closet and I saw six. Six of the same dress, right? Six Chrissy. Of the same fucking dress. Most of them in the same size. And I'm like, what is this all about? And she's like, I don't know. I think I liked it so much I bought it a couple times. And I'm like, why did. And she goes, I forgot that I bought it. And then I just bought it again. She had. I just can't explain how much junk Esther went Over there one time, cleaned out her closet. She was starting to put the same clothes in piles. Yeah, she had like 15 piles where there were multiples of the same exact thing. That is predatory. But I, I do get it. I do understand that, you know, it's not QVC's responsibility to make sure my mom is spending her money responsibly, but when you keep on extending the credit and extending the credit and extending the credit, it's too much. And that's exactly what these companies were doing back during the TV Psychic Hotline days. And that's why prn, not pfn, which is Psychic Friends Network, but prn, which is Psychic Readers Network, they were extending mass amounts of credit to a lot of people to the tune of half a billion dollars worth of, like, outstanding debt that people had to this one company. And they just kept extending the credit. When they were finally taken down by like, some, you know, whatever, the Department of Justice or whoever, they agreed to forgive all of that debt. So the last fight, the last half a billion, didn't count for them. But, you know, it's just one of those things. It's like, especially in this day and age in 2025, where everything is monetized and we're all essentially trying to take advantage of each other, it's just one of those things that's happening. We're in one of those, like, late capitalism stages where everyone just wants to get their bag and head off to, you know, Mykonos with buy a house of West Palm beach or whatever, Ibiza. You just have to be mindful that not everybody has your best interest. Oh, yeah, that's right. So be mindful.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Be mindful.

[Brian Greene]

What was that? I saw? What was Trump? What is his new thing that he's selling? Was it Christmas ornaments or something? You name it, I think it was Christmas ornaments.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Anything.

[Brian Greene]

I think there's Christmas ornaments that are

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

on sale now getting holiday time.

[Brian Greene]

But here's an example. And listen, I understand Donald Trump does not actually make these himself. But, but, you know, he sold those watches like those, those gold platinum special watches. Good as a Rolex. Going to be worth a million dollars. There are so many hundreds of people complaining that they either didn't get their watch, it was broken, or it didn't show up as, like, it didn't show up in the condition it was promised. It was essentially a piece of junk. It was a piece of junk. It was a Casio watch. And they were, they thought they were getting a Rolex. Right. And just be mindful. Not everybody has your best interest at heart. I cannot believe that I'm saying this about the President, these United States, but he's kind of got a reputation for not selling great stuff. So don't buy. I mean, let him be president. Focus on that. Don't worry about Christmas ornaments or watches. Let's focus on that. All right, so as we all try and figure out our financial situations and worry about impending doom and all that other stuff, for the. For the remainder of this show, I will stay away from talking about Donald Trump and his watches. But I do want to talk about this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The Bulldozer.

[Brian Greene]

What's that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The Bulldozer.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, my God. Can we please.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

God. I know.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, I think I have a take that might be a bit of a hot take on this for commercial break listeners who understand kind of our. That we're not the. We're not like, the biggest fans of Donald Trump. But I think I have a bit of a hot take, and I'll get to it in just a second. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, so everybody knows that Donald Trump is currently demolishing one third of the White House, essentially to make room for the largest building that will be part of that complex. 90,000 square feet. That's Huge Square Foot Ballroom. Because he says that all Presidents have been asking for a place to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Demanded.

[Brian Greene]

Demanded. 5:30, that at 5:30 everyone can go party in one particular place and they don't have that yet. He's already laid waste to that. Hey, here comes the chief. He's the chief and he needs a lady. It's like a South park episode. It really is. So he's already laid waste to a lot of the White House grounds. He's made renovations inside of the gy. Renovations inside of the actual Oval Office and the rest he's got pictures of, you know, Joe Biden's auto pen hanging. I mean, he's really small minded when it comes to all of this stuff. And while he claims to love the place, he doesn't seem to have any reverence for it. It's an old building.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

It's been around for a very long time. It's gone through a lot. It's been through major renovations on more than one occasion. And every president puts their own little stamp on the White House. And every first lady usually puts her stamp on the White House. And the East Wing is hers. Typically it's where her office space is and some other stuff. The fam. Like they had a theater in there, the Presidential Theater, where as far back as Ronald Reagan they took pictures of him watching movies in there with his family. So it's half residential, half office, half, you know, where they put like the Christmas trees during Christmas time and all of that. It's been around for a long time. The last major renovation was like back in the 40s, I think.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. But here's my hot take on this. Okay? You're the current president, you occupy the People's House. Right now you want to make some changes that you think are going to benefit future presidents and probably yourself. Okay, I understand that. And I think you should be allowed to put your stamp on the White House, even if that means major renovation or possibly demolition. I believe you should be able to do that. But that should go through some kind of channels where other people besides you have some say in what goes on like a historical preservation society where there are conversations back and forth about what makes sense and what doesn't make sense to rip up just taking a bulldozer to the White House. Yeah. I mean, it's insane. It's insane. Disney World does a better job of hiding the demolition than the fucking White House did. Right. Disney World says, pardon our progress.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Donald Trump says, I love the smell of a bulldozer in the morning. I mean, come on, come on. It just feels Disrespectful.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It does. Yeah. Put a tent up or something. I don't know.

[Brian Greene]

You're the fucking President of the United States. You can do something. Park your Qatari plane in front of it, like hide it or something. I mean, do something. I am not opposed to Donald Trump saying, I want to make some changes to the White House. I think that it needs some changes. If he doesn't say it, who's going to? Right. If the President doesn't say it, who's going to? I mean, there are. I'm sure there are preservation societies and other people that are involved in this. I don't know. I know that there are, like, commissions that are involved in any kind of renovations that go on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I haven't read enough about it, but hopefully they saved some kind. I mean, if you're talking about since the 40s, like, the. The flooring could have been reused.

[Brian Greene]

Like, have you seen the pictures they saved?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. That's what I'm saying. They saved nothing.

[Brian Greene]

Boom. They just tore it down. They literally brought in some rinky dink construction company that I'm sure is tied to some Congress, you know, congressional candidate or something, and they brought him in and they tore it down. Here's the part where I take real issue. Guess who's paying for it? He says me and some private donors.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he said the private donors.

[Brian Greene]

Those private donors are like Comcast and other big corporations.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What sponsored it?

[Brian Greene]

It's sponsored by Comcast. What are you going to. Are you going to put an NBC logo up front?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I would not put a pass this wing.

[Brian Greene]

Brought to you by Xfinity.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, there's about to be wrestling match, right?

[Brian Greene]

Or UFC match right out in front. This is total idiocracy. It is, and I get it. Like, at some point you've got to spit in the face of convention. You got to come up to the.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Shake things up.

[Brian Greene]

Shake things up. You got to. That's why he was put in. That's why people voted for him. And I'm not immune to understanding that. Right. I may not have liked him, but I understand why people did like the way that he was talking. I think some of those people now have regrets because the things he was saying are actually happening. And they thought he was just, you know, I don't know, joking around. I don't know what they thought he was doing, some kind of standup routine or something, but no, he's actually doing it. When it comes to the White House, I think we got to have a little ounce of conservatism when it comes to what we're demolishing. Little decorum. And you can't put fucking Xfinity digital signs on the top of the roof. You can't do that. This really is idiocracy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And when you see the movie Xfinity, White House.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. And the White House has like digital billboards and they're all like flashing signs. They're like 711 and McDonald's. That's what's coming next. That's how you wanna live. Cool, dude. But that is the sign of a failing democracy. When you, you probably Donald. Mr. Trump. You probably Mr. Trump. I'll give you the respect you deserve. Mr. Trump. You probably could have gone in front of a commission and said, these are the changes that I want. We need a ballroom.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, let's talk about Deny a ballroom. I mean, it sounds great, I guess.

[Brian Greene]

Cool.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I mean, where were they throwing the parties before? There's no party space.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Greene]

I've seen a episodes of West Wing and it seems like there's plenty of party space.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Dancing space.

[Brian Greene]

I know. Yeah. They're always at a party. Where do they host all these people that come? Like when a whole, you know, you

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

just had Andrea Botticelli or whatever.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Where did they put him? In a three foot by three foot closet. Like what was going on there? I don't know. The White House seems pretty big. It doesn't seem like we need 90,000 square feet. But you know, I guess when you get all those Trump coin buyers inside. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that's what set this off. I didn't have enough room for all my Trump coins.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. The people that are spending money on.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, listen, listen to me. Go have a conversation with somebody and let's talk about it. And then if you need, if we need a ballroom, we maybe we can do a ballroom. But it shouldn't be a one day con. It shouldn't be a one day process. Today I announced it, tomorrow it's gone. And I'm now building something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's been planning it for a little while. Wasn't he like up on the roof a while back, looking down and was like, what are you doing?

[Brian Greene]

He was pointing here. Yeah. I don't know. He's in a game of Minecraft. He's just building on his head.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Certainly breaking norms.

[Brian Greene]

Let's build it here, build it there. Tear that down, turn this down. Put another flag up here. Let's. I don't know, I don't understand and by the way, this is the thing I am least concerned about.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, exactly.

[Brian Greene]

That's the thing with what's going on with this administration. Yeah. I mean, let's get the Marines out of our cities first and then, and then we can go from there. But, you know, hot take. I don't think Donald Trump should not, not be allowed to do things at the White House, make renovations. See, everyone got all, you know, up in arms about him. Gold plating, gold painting, essentially the inside of the Oval Office. I did not, I do not like it, but I did not take as much of offense because of. It's his Oval Office. At least for the next four years he gets to do what he wants

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

to, rate it however he wants.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. If you want to, you know. Spray paint. Yeah. If you want to spray paint it gold. Cool, dude. All right. It is not my taste. And when you see pictures, it just looks. It looks so ridiculous. It really does. But okay, cool. All right, that's fine. But demolishing an entire wing of the building, it's just like a whole different thing. It really is. I mean, I don't think, I think even most people with common sense can agree with that. And you know, just saying that it's cool to own the libs. Yeah. All right. But now we have to live with, you know, the 3:15 story building with

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

the, you know, I mean, I guess my problem.

[Brian Greene]

Walmart.com advertisement on it for the rest of our lives.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think my major problem with it is you're right, he can make renovations, do things, whatever, but I don't. My major problem is all the money that's being spent on that. I don't care if it's where it's coming from, really. Honestly, it could be used for so many other things. It really could, like to children.

[Brian Greene]

Children or whatever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Children, homelessness, like things that are true problems that that kind of money could go towards to help.

[Brian Greene]

We don't have an acting government right now because it's not being funded because it's closed, it's shut down. There's no agreement to spend any more money on. On most things. And some of those things include SNAP benefits for people and for children. And I, we can all argue about who rightfully or wrongfully gets those SNAP benefits. But when you have a social net saf like that, there of course are going to be people who take advantage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly. Now there's going to be abuse to it, but I mean, again, it's just that the children suffer for it. I feel terrible.

[Brian Greene]

I would rather feed 10 hungry children and 30 people who are just too lazy to go get a job than let those 10 hungry kids go go hungry. And so that $250 million that's being spent, if Comcast was willing to donate that to the SNAP benefits program, I bet that could take care of a month or two of the SNAP benefits across the country so that those K could survive the adults bullshitting around. And you know that I agree with you 100% on this. And why is Comcast secretly donating all this money to build an east wing?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What do you mean? Because everybody wants to curry favor.

[Brian Greene]

Did they want a curry favor? And they want some regulation to be bent or broken so that they can get what they want out of the President and this administration. It is for sale. It's all for sale. And that's what I was just talking about. In the age of our Lord 20, 25, we should really keep our eye on the ball here because everything is for sale and they are literally selling it all. And that is a banana republic. That's what it is. And I'm not saying it doesn't happen with other administrations. Of course it did. It probably has happened since the beginning. Oh yeah, our republic. It probably has happened in some way, shape or form. But sometimes those people get caught and snaps everybody else up into line.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And sometimes it's never so blatant, it's

[Brian Greene]

never so out in the open. So can we please put it behind the curtain again?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Put a tent.

[Brian Greene]

Put a tent over it. Park your plane in front of it. It's just lunacy to me and anybody else that doesn't see that. I'm really sorry because. Because right now your side is winning. Well, when your side isn't winning, when these same things were happening with other administrations, how did you feel about it? I can guarantee you didn't feel good about it. So just take that same amount of criticism that you had for the libs, quote unquote, or whatever, of which I do not consider myself a part of. But whatever it is, when you look over on that side of the aisle and you see some of the same things happening, do you criticize them as. As fervently as you're willing to criticize the people who happen to be on your side of the fence? If the answer is no, then that is hypocrisy and you are simply not thinking straight? If the answer is yes, then speak up and speak up loudly. I notice.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I think it's just. It's hard, I would think, for any normal person to, like, rationalize some of

[Brian Greene]

this, but people are trying to. And the way that they rationalize it is by saying, but they. But they. But two wrongs don't make a right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

And so. But they is not an argument. That's an excuse. And excuses are what we don't need right now. We need people to be held accountable, no matter which party they are in. No matter which party they are in, whether it's Joe Biden or Barack Obama, George Bush Jr. George Bush Jr. Democrats,

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

independents, Republicans, anybody, all of them not doing the right thing, they should be held responsible.

[Brian Greene]

Responsible, absolutely. And then. Then, you know, when the president of these United States is then blessing the corruption by letting George Santos out of jail or any other. Any God, all the people, hundreds of people that he's let out so that he can curry favor and loyalty from them, then that is clear corruption, too. So, you know, listen, we usually don't talk politics on the show, but it's getting a little hot in the kettle right now. And this is generational damage that's being done to this government and our society. And if we don't all start speaking up a little bit louder, it's going to take generations, generations to unfuck what's being fucked right now. We are literally going to have an xfinity, you know, 29.99amonth for the first three months. Xfinity, yes. Scrollers on the top of the White House. If we're not paying attention, and I fear that we're not now, there's a lot of noise being made about this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There was already a Tesla car commercial that was made.

[Brian Greene]

That's. Yeah. And now there's going to be a UFC commercial, and soon there's going to be an Xfinity commercial, and that's it. And, you know, there you go. It's corruption, no matter which way you look at it and no matter which side of the aisle you're on. And so I just implore anybody who. Who doesn't necessarily agree with all of my.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, don't get desensitized. And that's easy to do right now.

[Brian Greene]

Absolutely.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So easy.

[Brian Greene]

There's too much coming at us too fast, and we're all like, eh, whatever. Ah, whatever. Ah, whatever. That's you and your children and their children and their children's children. And even if you don't have children, that's people around you and their children who are going to have to find a way to cut through the mustard. And the mustard is getting spicy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Or your parents. I Mean, think about. There's this whole talk about what, the sandwich generation. You know, you've got young kids and you've got aging parents.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you've got to help take care of both of those. And, you know, the elderly, too, are getting hit with all of the medical.

[Brian Greene]

My mom may not get her check.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

In this next couple of days, and that's going to be a problem for us. And that's. That's going to become my problem. And I. Of course, it's my mom. So there you go. But if that happens month after month after month with no sign in sight that any adults in the room are going to get together and understand this. And. And I just might say this, by the way, I don't care who's at fault for bringing the government to a standstill. It doesn't matter. To me. It's a moot point. I don't give a shit. They're all adults. They should be figuring it out, and we elected them to do so. But if you take a look at your estimates for health care. Oh, yeah, ours is going to double.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

How are we going to afford that? We can't afford it right now. How are we going to afford it moving forward? It's fucking insane. So what am I going to do? My children get the health care. I don't. I guess that's the way it's going to have to be. I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, people just straight up aren't going to be able to afford it.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, no, no, no. There's going to be millions that are just not going to have health insurance. They're not going to go to the doctor. They won't be cared for. And that may not matter to you, being a healthy person sitting here on whatever day you're listening to this, but it's going to matter at some point, and when it does and it's not there in this crazy health care system that America has stitched together, you are fucked up. You are going to fall through the cracks. Going to fall through the cracks. And when that happens, you're gonna wish that at some point you would have screamed or spoken up just a little bit louder because this is. This is a problem. And no one on the top cares. They just don't. They're busy building the Xfinity wing of the White House. Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Crazy. All right. Right. Well, there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay. We had our little segment of the rant.

[Brian Greene]

We got it out. Now let's talk about how it's funny. Now let's talk about how it's all not going to matter because on November 11th we're all going to die from outer space comet. We'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Greene]

Be brief.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now was it? You're welcome.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

LinkedIn hiring pro can't predict the future, but it can help you feel confident about future hiring because Hiring Pro combines real time insights and candidate Data from the LinkedIn network with the criteria you've set for your role to deliver you a list of top fit candidates. Businesses who use LinkedIn are 24% less likely to reopen a role in the next 12 months. Hire right the first time with LinkedIn hiring pro post a free job [e-mail] Pandora

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[Brian Greene]

LifeLock how can I help? The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't. One in four tax paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What do I do?

[Brian Greene]

My refund though. I'm freaking out. Don't worry, I can fix this. LifeLock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm so relieved.

[Brian Greene]

No problem. I'll be with you every step of the way. One in four was a fraud paying American. Not anymore. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com Specialoffer terms apply.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Noah Bull is a training brand built for everyday life and the All Day

[Brian Greene]

Knit is their most flexible shoe with a breathable knit upper.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's designed to move with you from workout, long days on your feet to commuting or travel. Nobl is offering 35% off your first order.

[Brian Greene]

Visit n o b u l l

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

project.com and use code nobleaudio for 35% off your entire first order.

[Brian Greene]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone, check out this guy in his birthday bird.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What is this, your first date?

[Brian Greene]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways, only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, we're sitting here around on the night sky. Yeah. So, okay, so let's talk to chat for just a second here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chatty.

[Brian Greene]

Hey, good morning, Chat. Good morning.

[ChatGPT]

Lovely to hear from you. Hope you're doing well today. What can I help you out with?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, so we're here on the commercial break taping an episode and we would like to know more about this comet interstellar visitor known by its short name, 3i. Can you tell us more about that?

[ChatGPT]

She likes to think Absolutely. I can dive into that. So 3i is basically the shorthand for the third known interstellar object we spotted passing through our solar system. The first one you might remember was omumua back in 2017. So 3i is another visitor from beyond our solar system. And it's been studied as it zipped through. It's basically a comet like object. So it's got some ice, it's got some dust, and scientists have been super excited to study it to understand what stuff from another star system looks like. So that's the gist, and if you need more details, just let me know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Greene]

Okay. That is the sanctioned version of what this is. Right now. There are many other scientists and astronomers and thinkers and the type that would think about this stuff for a living who are curious as to the type. Yeah, the type that you know, the type. The kind that you don't want to sit next to at a dinner party. You know the type. The kind that make your life miserable. Interval there. They are saying that this object is behaving strangely and that that strange behavior may or may not be extraterrestrial. So let's talk a little bit about that version of it. This is from a Yahoo News report. The Harvard professor. A Harvard professor is raising questions about three I atlas the comet passing through our solar system, and he says that it's hurtling object. Giving off medical. Giving off. Giving off chemical. Medical. Medical equipment. Beep. Giving off chemical signals that do not appear to be natural. Theoretical physicist Abby Loeb says that Keck 2 telescope in Hawaii recently collected data that indicates 3i is emitting nickel, but little if any, iron, a characteristic we only find in industrial produced nickel alloy alloys, such as a compound used in metal coatings to fortify surfaces. Loeb has become a familiar figure in the news coverage about 3i because of his startling theory that the comet could be some form of alien technology. For months, he has been highlighting the object's lack of traditional comet's tail, its curious trajectory through the Milky Way, and its unusually large size. It's at least a thousand times more massive than the previous interstellar objects we've ever seen. Loeb said. Said and it does raise a question as to why is such a large object delivered in our inner. In our inner solar system when we've only seen small ones before. He argues that the international community should get on the same page about what to do if extraterrestrials or drones come into proximity with Earth. We should keep our eyes open and not assume anything, because this could be the black swan event, where something that looks natural at first ends up being a Trojan horse course. Because the implications could be huge for humanity, we must take this seriously. 3i is expected to disappear behind the sun later this month and pass Jupiter next year before leaving our galaxy. Loeb, on the other hand, likens the object to an interstellar blind date. You often assume that dating a partner would be very friendly, but you have to worry about serial killers as well. Well, that's a rather dim view of blind dating. Avi. Yeah. So, Avi, I think it's cool. I think it's cool, too. Avi is really the one who has been kind of leading the charge, amongst others. But he's the loudest voice because he's become well known, especially when the last interstellar object came through, he became well known, saying, this doesn't act, look, or feel like anything we've seen before. It's possible it could be an extraterrestrial probe, something that's coming close to Earth or in our solar system to take some pictures or some, you know, data measurements, keep an eye on us, to

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

spy exactly what we're doing.

[Brian Greene]

That's it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're sending stuff out we're sending stuff out there that.

[Brian Greene]

You're so right about this. So what makes us think that. See, there's a couple different theories about extraterrestrials and so many people are. I want you to not worry in this sense. So many people are thinking about what we do, what happens, how do we handle contact with extraterrestrial life. My personal belief is they are already here. They are the octopus. Those octopi are weird and they can get out of cages and they, let's just admit it, they're strange objects. But okay, let's assume first octopus, the octopi. That's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't think it's octopi.

[Brian Greene]

I know it's not octopi, but I like to say it anyway. Let's just assume that there is a more intelligent form. Even though octopus are very intelligent, there's like a super intelligent form from somewhere way out there, there that are coming in and they are doing whatever they're going to do. There's three different versions of what happens. Number one, they're here to take our resources. They mean us harm and they want to do, they want to eliminate us so they can get to whatever it is, eliminate us or enslave us to get to whatever it is they need. Now if that would be water or air or minerals, there are lots of places in the solar system where they could get that unmolested by pesky human beings. There's lots of water throughout the solar system, even our own solar system, even in moons and other places. They're, you know, air, probably unlikely they have exactly our air composition, but why would they need to take it? And what would they put it in a bunch of plastic bags and take it back? I mean, you know what I'm saying? And then other resources like minerals, they can be found plentiful throughout the universe, except for the man made kind, which I'm sure if they're, if they can make a spaceship to get here, they probably don't need any help making, you know, chemical compounds, let's put it that way. The other thought by some of the thinkers and people who are those types? Those types, you know, you know the kind, the kind who smell bad but you know, are really interesting. You know what I'm talking about?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Don't smell bad. They just have bad breath.

[Brian Greene]

They have bad breath. Yeah. You know, but. And everyone could be guilty of bad breath every once in a while, but they have like chronic bad breath. And you like, you got to stay away from them, but you really want to Hear what they say, and they speak in a weird voice. You know what I'm talking about?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

All right. Those people, they have another theory which is basically like the zoo theory, which is they are coming to observe, and it's likely. They probably don't want to do us any harm. They may even mean to protect us. They want us to stay safe and sound because they are observing us like we do with animals at a zoo. Right. We take them in. Yeah. We take them away from whatever natural habitat they have. But let's say we find an animal that's herd to or whatever, you take it to a zoo and you take care of it and you want it to be okay. And if it gets hurt, you shoot it with a tranquilizer dart and then you stick your finger up its ass. Yeah, there you go. Right? I mean, so there's that. And some people really are clinging onto this theory.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Talk about a probe.

[Brian Greene]

Talk about a probe. Hey, listen, there is lots. There's so much more evidence of these UAEs coming out on a daily basis from really reputable sources that my belief is, is if aliens have been here, that's the stance they're taking. In the first place, they're not here manipulating us or trying to kill us or mean us any harm. They really are just observing what's going on. They're taking lots of pictures while you're in your shower. They love human titties. That's what it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They're observing. Bulldozers.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. I do not understand why bulldoze something so beautiful, you know, and then there's this third version, which is like, ravenously hungry predators who just, like, you know, kill everything. But I don't know. I don't buy into that. But if this thing is zooming past us and its intention is to either make contact or give us a good look, give us a sea under our skirt a little bit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

It has got some people at least alarmed enough. Enough that they are screaming loudly that the international community should be thinking about this. Now, here's my opinion, and I'd like you to take.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I think that they are thinking about it.

[Brian Greene]

That's it. I'd like you to. I'd like you to take a little bit of comfort in this. I believe that at the highest levels of government, excluding, like, J.D. vance and Donald Trump and Cash Patel, at the highest levels of trained government, military officials, CIA, possibly, you know, others in secret, weird, you know, organizations that we don't even know about, along with many others throughout the world, have probably not only been thinking about this, talking about it and potentially planning for it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sure. If I would think so. Everybody's not just sitting around like.

[Brian Greene]

No, these plans have probably been long in the talkings. The truth is, is that there may. They may already know things that we don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm sure that they do.

[Brian Greene]

They're not going to scare 8 billion people into freaking out and spending all their money on Q. You know what I'm saying? Like that's just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

There's got to be some contingency for keeping everybody calm while certain dunes. That's right. Yes. Keep it close to the breast or close to the breast. Chrissy. Which one? And so take comfort because if Avi is out there screaming about it, then there are other people who've been thinking about it not for a minute, but for a long time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And they either have a plan or a bomb bunker. One of those two. And it doesn't matter which one. You're not included in either of them. So just, you know, live your life.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Get your pool ready. I mean it's, you know, it's getting to be winter time. You don't need that water in there anyways. Let's get the bunker.

[Brian Greene]

I just watched, funny enough, I just watched a company on Instagram called Atlas Security. So this is 3i Atlas, Atlas Security are the people. Remember a couple months ago when it came out out that there was a bunker being built in Idaho, like a 12 story bunker underground. For a million dollars you could buy a two bedroom apartment. There's been a tour of that and a physical tour. Someone went in and took, took a tour with the guy who started this whole project. It's amazing. It's quite amazing. And it exists and it's sold out. So there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm sure. And I think isn't there so on Apple or Netflix or one of those. That's about the same thing. All these rich people get the access they buy in.

[Brian Greene]

Is that called Invasion? Is that what it is? Invasion everyone's talking about?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I just saw a trailer for it.

[Brian Greene]

When I get done with Slow Horses then I will, I will go to Invasion.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The diplomat is back.

[Brian Greene]

I gotta pick it up where I left off. I left off halfway through season two.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Brian, it's so good. Jeff and I just blew through this last season and. Yeah, so good.

[Brian Greene]

I do love her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Love that show.

[Brian Greene]

I do love her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's, it's full of twists and turns.

[Brian Greene]

Is it Kerry Russell?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, it's Keri Russell.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, Keri Russell. Sorry, Carrie.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, And Allison Janney's in it. There's. There's another guy too, from the West Wing, so they definitely.

[Brian Greene]

Allison Janney shows up. Yeah. I didn't know that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She's the vp, so, you know where you left off.

[Brian Greene]

There we go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You left off where I left off.

[Brian Greene]

She becomes the vp.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She already was, but yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, she was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Just go back and watch.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, I'll go back and watch it. She was not involved in the program when I, when I was watching, so. Okay, I will, will. I will go back and watch it. I love Alice and Janney. I love everything about the West Wing. I am now on my 75th rewatch of the West Wing, desperately crying for the good old days. I mean, that is a very idealized version of government and how it works and all that stuff, but, you know, one Jed Bartlett administration, and I think we could just fix it all. All the fuck ups from Biden and Trump and all this other stuff, we could just like put it all back together again. If we could have one Bartlett administration, if we could have Leon Leo as the chief of staff for one administration, I think he could fix it all. But Leo doesn't exist and the guy who played him died. So there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. What a great show.

[Brian Greene]

All right, well, listen, I would also

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

take Julia Louis Dreyfus from V. Yeah,

[Brian Greene]

that's if you want a funny version of those. Okay? So everybody calm down. There's nothing to worry about. And if there's. There is something to worry about it, we're not going to know about it, so don't worry about it. Yeah, there you go. It's just going to happen. And we're in only.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Only control of things you could control.

[Brian Greene]

That's right. Only Joe Rogan is going to know about it in the podcast world. And you know, he's not going to tell anybody else. He's already built his bunker in Austin, I'm sure. Yeah, Yeah, I think he records in a bunker, actually. Looks like he records in a bunker. Yeah. Even Joe Rogan and Andrew Schultz got together a couple days ago, week ago, whatever it was. And yeah, they were pissing and moaning about bringing Trump on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You know, hindsight's 20 20.

[Brian Greene]

It always is. It always is. And I don't care. Just, you know, if you think that you messed up, then say you messed up. If you think something's wrong, then say it's wrong. We can all fig. History books will figure it out later. Don't worry about it. History will remember the last thing you did, not the first thing you did. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

If they haven't been rewritten.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, they haven't been rewritten by Xfinity. Oh, God.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's fine. We just need to laugh.

[Brian Greene]

It's hard. But here we are and we're. For an hour, we'll muddle through for an hour, we'll muddle through somehow, as the old Christmas song would say. And Christmas right around the corner it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I can't believe it.

[Brian Greene]

It's insane. Okay, do us a favor. Go to first of all, go listen after the break, if you get a chance, you can find it on any major podcast player. I think they're. It's there on most so far. If not, it'll be there shortly. But Apple and Spotify, Iheart Odyssey, I know they're all there. And then tcbpodcast.com for your free sticker you can go to the contact us button. Drop down menu says I want my free sticker. We've got a number of them, so go ahead and write in and we will send it to you. No muss, no fuss, straight to your door. Just like QVC 2124333, TCB 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? I'll be happy to take them all right there on that phone number. We will get back to you at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com sl the commercial break. Oh, and go listen to the interview with Nacho Redondo. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now, I think. So I'll tell you that I love

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

you and I love you.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you. Out there in the podcast universe until we all die a fiery death. We will say, we must say, we will say goodbye. Sa.