TCB Spring Breakin at The Villages!

Summary

The Commercial Break – TCB Spring Breakin' at The Villages!

Release Date: April 1, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Joy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Bryan and Krissy embark on a deep-dive into the legendary Florida retirement haven, The Villages, blending improv comedy, cultural commentary, and good-natured ribbing. Spring break style, they riff on everything from the absurd rumors about The Villages’ wild nightlife (think: colored loofahs, swingers, STDs, and “reverse snowbirds”), their love of pop culture—Alien, Fargo, King of the Hill—and the darkly comic truths of middle age. The episode is framed by their reactions to a viral YouTube video “Explore55Plus” where a young vlogger asks residents about the best (and worst) parts of life inside the over-55 gated mega-community.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pop Culture Catch-up: Rotten Tomatoes and Longing for Good TV

• Ice Cube’s War of the Worlds: Bryan brings up the (fictional) zero-rated remake and riffs on its creative demise.
  • Bryan: “Who knew that Ice Cube's acting career would take such a terrible turn? Wasn't he in? No, that was the other one.” [02:00]
• Fargo & Nostalgia: Deep affection for the “Fargo” series and film as a visceral experience that captures Midwest desperation.
  • Bryan: “You feel it in your bones. You feel the cold, the Midwest, the desperation.” [03:20]
• TV Reboots & King of the Hill: Anticipation for King of the Hill’s return and how Mike Judge manages life lessons and humor in a cartoon.
  • Bryan: “It’s like Bluey. It’s ridiculous. It’s a cartoon. Why are we watching it? And then there's life lessons all throughout it.” [08:05]
• Alien On Hulu: Excitement over the new Alien series, drawing a parallel to successful TV adaptations like Fargo.

2. Parenthood, Potty Training, and Domestic Comedy

• Bryan shares comic tales from parenting: the chaos of kids at home, wild potty training moments, and accidental pranks.
  • Bryan: “She put a pile of her dolls down on the floor and then popped a squat and peed all over them. That’s the kind of rock and roll fucking attitude this kid has.” [09:09]
• The existential fatigue of parenting and cravings for romance amidst the chaos.

3. Romance, Anniversaries & The Gift of Artificial Intelligence

• The hosts discuss their (sometimes questionable) romantic gestures, including Bryan’s “forever rose” and AI-composed song.
  • Bryan: “I programmed (my AI band) meticulously to make a song for Astrid. But you won't hear it here.” [18:04]
  • Krissy (jokingly): “You should have gotten like the thing that you can stick on the dashboard of the car.” [19:21]

4. The Villages: Legends, Loofahs & Life After 55

• Bryan and Krissy set the scene with background on The Villages: 57 square miles, 150k+ residents, dozens of golf courses.
  • Bryan: “They own 57 square miles of Central Florida... Last check, it was over 150,000 residents.” [24:23]
• Rumors, Drugs & Sex: The pair riff on the infamous reputation for wildness—alleged cocaine use, rampant swinging, and the coded language of colored loofahs on golf carts.
  • Bryan: “You put colored loofah on your golf cart... different colors mean different things. Blue is like, I'm, I just watch. Green is, go for it, I'm ready....” [28:00]
  • Krissy: “Yellow is, we like to pee. We like golden showers.” [28:27]
• Discussion about how real these rumors are, and speculation on the likelihood of drug-fueled elder debauchery.

5. Reaction to the “Explore55Plus” YouTube Video ([30:41 - 54:00])

• On-the-Ground Interviews: The hosts riff on the interviews with actual Villages residents; highlights include:
  • Complaints about golf carts and parking.
  • Celebration of endless activities, friendly (and occasionally less friendly) neighbors.
  • Stories confirming (or denying) the loofah code and “lifestyle” rumors.
  • Discussion of the area’s all-important golf carts, music, and atmosphere.
  • Spotting a few younger visitors and debating why they’d come for the party.
  • Bryan: “This is exactly what I would imagine the Villages would be. An old lady drunk on a golf cart, bitching about everything.” [33:00]
  • Explore55Plus Host (to a couple): “Are the rumors true? Oh, I have no idea... I've read about your loofah situation.” [37:46]
• Notable Loofah Convo: Despite the “lifestyle” reputation, nobody in the video admits to knowing about the loofah-swinging scene; most claim the real attraction is endless recreation and a tight-knit, highly active community.
  • Bryan: “See, they want to ask the questions, but they're not asking the questions.” [42:32]
  • Krissy: “We’re just new for that.” [37:47]

6. The Dark (Comedy) Side of Aging

• Bryan jokes about the future: embracing debauchery in old age, becoming “the Heisenberg of The Villages,” or running a golf-cart narcotics delivery service.
  • Bryan: “Get your together, be a responsible human… Then when you get to retirement age, not 55, 65, 70 years old, just hit it as fucking hard as you can. Gack those lines. Smack that smack. Smoke that crack.” [54:08]
  • Krissy: “We can have a little delivery service in the golf cart.” [57:12]

7. Meta Commentary & Wrap-up

• Frustration that the YouTube vlogger didn’t get to the swinging/loofah “hard” questions—a call for genuine, investigative reporting in the “lifestyle” beat.
• Final thoughts: The Villages seem like a fun, if surreal, place to retire; the show ends with more jokes about growing old disgracefully and merch plugs.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fargo:
  • Bryan: “I will fight you if you disagree. I will argue with you until we're all blue in the face about Fargo being one of the best movies ever.” [03:19]
• Potty Training Comedy:
  • Bryan: “She just... popped a squat and peed all over them. Because that's the kind of rock and roll fucking attitude this kid has.” [09:09]
• The Forever Rose Debacle:
  • Krissy: “You should have gotten like the thing that you can stick on the dashboard of the car.” [19:21]
  • Bryan (about his wife's reaction): “I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just not saying it's good... I would have preferred a vacuum, if I'm being honest.” [19:28]
• On The Villages’ Reputation:
  • Bryan: “If I could be another person, I would be a waitress at the Hooters in the Villages. With pads. With knee pads and elbow pads and head pads.” [26:27]
• Dark Comedy Aspirations:
  • Bryan: “I want to be the Heisenberg of The Villages.” [55:56]
  • Bryan: “Former mediocre comedy podcaster… dies of crack overdose in The Villages in Florida at age 88. Yeah, byline, no one cares.” [55:20]
• On Investigative Reporting:
  • Bryan: “F minus on the interviewing here... Bring me down to the villages 55 plus and over or whatever the channel's name is, I'll ask the tough question. You can drink the beer.” [61:05]

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Section Timestamps

• TV & Pop Culture Riffing: 01:34 – 14:30
• Parenting & Anniversaries: 09:09 – 18:43
• All About The Villages (Rumors, Wild Reputation): 22:36 – 29:28
• Explore55Plus Video Watch-along: 30:41 – 54:00
• Reflections on Aging, Drugs & Retirement: 54:08 – 59:36
• Wrap-up (Meta, Merch, Final Thoughts): 61:04 – End

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is a quintessential example of TCB’s blend of playful absurdity, dark and self-aware humor, and pop culture nostalgia. Bryan and Krissy treat the myths and realities of The Villages’ over-55 bacchanalia with equal parts disbelief and envy, imagining their own wild retirements while skewering everything from local golf cart traffic jams to the awkwardness of AI-generated anniversary songs. If you’re curious what really happens in the land of Florida retirees—or just want a laugh about the weirdness of modern aging—this episode delivers in spades.

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Best For:
Listeners who love unfiltered banter, pop culture, and finding comedy in the realities of growing older—plus anyone morbidly fascinated by The Villages’ notorious status as America’s most rambunctious retirement community.

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End of Summary
(Merch plug, Instagram & contact info omitted as per instructions)

Transcript

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break. Ah, yes, cats and kittens, it's your favorite ingenue, Briano, as they would call me an espanol. And if you want to see more of me in espanol, go to Instagram, where I'm a mild gringo superstar. Anywho, Anywho. One more day of TCB Spring break and then Chrissy and I return to full brand new episodes tomorrow. That's April 2, 2026, and we're super excited to have you on board. Make sure to join us live by going to YouTube.com thecommercial break and if you hit that notification bell, you will get notified when we go live. And we would love to have you a part of the show. You can chat us up. We're gonna turn on the phone lines later on this week. It's all happening on YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak but you know where else it's happening? Down at the Villages. Ah. Chrissy and I have talked about this ad nauseam, but I found a vlogger who was br. Go down there, bring his camera, and talk to people who are probably high on cocaine. That's okay. That's what you do when you're over 55 and you're ruining the world. So until tomorrow, here's your episode of TCB Spring Break at the Villages. Enjoy the next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Bestie.

[Brian Green]

Brian to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining. I was just reading that Ice Cube's new rendition of War of the Worlds, the movie everybody's been waiting for, has a zero on rotten tomatoes. A 000 cero cero, as they say in Spanish. Wow. In espanole est cero et cetero.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That's bad.

[Brian Green]

Who knew. Who knew that Ice Cube's acting career would take such a terrible turn. Wasn't he in? No, that was the other one.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He was on Friday.

[Brian Green]

He was in Friday. He was good in front.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That was great.

[Brian Green]

Friday's a class.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

It is a classic.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but War of the Worlds, it doesn't look too good. I watched the trailer a couple weeks ago and I was like, what in the what in the is this? What in the trashy movie ass is this?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I haven't even seen the trailer.

[Brian Green]

This might be a future TCB minus if I'M being honest because it's real.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

It's gonna go straight to TCP minus.

[Brian Green]

Straight to TCB minus. Matter of fact, ice, give me a call. We'll make a deal right now. I'll give you half of whatever revenue we make on the show. 0.0. However, what does look good is the new aliens that is on Hulu. So I think it's Josh. No, not Josh Howley. He's a guy who works in the Senate.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I think that did get good reviews.

[Brian Green]

It got incredible reviews. I went down a rabbit hole last night of trailers and special screenings and all this other shit and that. It's a 12 part series. I think it's 12 parts. And he did Fargo. He brought Fargo back to fx.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I loved that show.

[Brian Green]

All of those seasons are every single one of them, every single. We know. Really all redeemable, if not great, for sure. Like, well worth watching.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I loved watching those. I'm sad they're not continuing. They should just keep continuing them.

[Brian Green]

I totally agree with you. And to bring back such a. Like to touch a movie like Fargo at first I thought was sacrilege because Fargo is one of the greatest movies ever made. And I will fight you if you disagree. I will argue with you until we're all blue in the face about Fargo being one of the best movies ever. You feel it in your bones. You feel the cold, you feel the Midwest, you feel the desperation. You feel the. Just everything about that movie. It's so visceral.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I love it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

It's definitely my top 10.

[Brian Green]

Give me Fargo to make me anxious. Every time I watch that movie, I get anxious. Like when he gets caught, like, with the, like, mate fudging the numbers. I'm like, we've all had that sense of desperation about some bullshit in our life. And don't lie to me that you haven't. It may not have been, you know, $500,000 worth of, you know, vin numbers disappearing, but it was something, you know, you. I don't know what it was, but some. So all of us have felt that sense of desperation. And that's why that movie is so great, is because while it's an exaggerated ver version of what probably has we've all felt in our lives. We've all felt it in our lives. I just love it. Every bit about it. And hey, listen, Jose Feliciano is in the movie Wild. Who wants a comment tonight?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That's right. I just love Steve Buscemi, too.

[Brian Green]

Steve Buscemi is. He's a guy. Steve Buscemi is a guy.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I think he is in. You could just put him in anything, and he's fantastic.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Let me see here. Just give me one second. Fargo. This song gets me every time. Not like, I love it, but it's a song that just gets. Oh, here we go. There we go. All right, let's see if I can play it. Let's see if my kids are. Oh, no, that's not it. Oh, yeah, that's it. Oh, wait. Oh, this is Chuck Manioni.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He just died.

[Brian Green]

Oh, this is a great segue. This is a great segue, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He just died because I. This is the same song that I'm always like, what theme song is that from? Like, what TV show theme song is that from? And I looked it up, and it said that is one of the best examples of a song that is not actually a theme song.

[Brian Green]

What do they call that effect? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mandela effect.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I think it's the Mandela, but.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it is. It's the Mandela effect. Yeah, we've talked about it on the show. Oh, what a great song. All right, so here. First of all, I had to play that in band in high school. Yes, we did. We had a guitarist and a French hornist. Like a French horn player. It was really spectacular. And. And they went to town on this song. And the band leader.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I love the kid with the French horn.

[Brian Green]

Dude, this lady. This girl was so fantastic. Wish I could remember her name. I would shout it out right now. She. I was kind of in love with the French horn player. Not because I loved the French. I loved the way she worked the French horn. I loved the sound that came out of it. I love the way she held her body proud and loud, and she just rocked it. And they did that. We. The band leader, Brian Bryant, pointed out the only two people in the entire fucking band that could play anything worth a shit and said, you two are gonna do a song. And they picked Chuck Mangione's song. And I'll tell you what, I loved that saxophone. I probably. If you gave me a saxophone, I could probably still play it right now because it was one of my favorite things we ever did because we didn't do a lot. That was fantastic. The guy was into all kind of shitty music. But anyway, Chuck Mangione also played a big role in a little show in the 90s and 2000s called King of the.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yes, he did.

[Brian Green]

King of the Hill.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

When I was researching him, I figured that out.

[Brian Green]

Let us not shit on King of the Hill as one of the Best cartoon television shows ever created by the brilliant. The gentleman who created Beavis and Butthead. Yeah, Mike Judge. And Mike Judge got an order to bring King of the Hill back. They've been asking him for a long time and he ended the show. I think it's about 10 years ago. The show.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's been around, or it's been

[Brian Green]

off for a while, but he finally decided everywhere. Yeah, it's still everywhere. I love it. It's. It's like Bluey. It's ridiculous. It's a cartoon. Why are we watching it? And then there's life lessons all throughout it. And it's also fudgeing. Hilarious. And so King of the Hill is back. I think in a couple of days. It's coming back. It's got 12 episodes. I'm really excited. Boom Howard died. Like, the guy who played Boom Howard died earlier this year and like some freak gun accident or something was like, shot to death or some shit. But boom Howard is back for this season. He managed to complete his lines. So I'm super excited to see King of the Hill. And it's going to be on Hulu. So Hulu's got two things coming. Alien and King of the Hill. And I'm ready for all of it. Can't wait. Finally the kids are back in school. They're going to go to bed a little bit earlier.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Thank the Lord.

[Brian Green]

Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord. Thank Jesus up in heaven.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Thank the Lord.

[Brian Green]

Thank Jesus up in heaven. Chrissy. Because I can't take any more of it. I mean, sometimes they go to camps and that's good. They'll be gone for a couple hours in the day, but they haven't been in camps for these last couple of weeks, and I just can't.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, 30 children is a lot to have at the house.

[Brian Green]

You walked. We're potty training. Our last. And she just. She put a pile of her dolls down on the floor and then popped a squat and peed all over them. Because that's the kind of attitude. That's the kind of rock and roll fucking attitude this kid has. You know her.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I know her and I love her.

[Brian Green]

This tracks. This tracks.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That's hilarious. Why wait?

[Brian Green]

I don't know, Chrissy. I don't know.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

She felt comfortable with the dolls.

[Brian Green]

I. Or.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Or she wanted to get rid of the dogs.

[Brian Green]

No, I think it is because she knows it'll get a rise. And she is all about a good prank. She's all about a good prank, whether she's throwing dog food around the house. Or, you know, I don't know. What did she do the other day? She. Oh, one of the kids came up with like a plastic baseball bat and they were just like swinging it around and it hit me right near the potatoes and I was like, oh, dude, watch it. Don't get it. Don't get near anybody's potatoes. You don't want to hit this area on anybody. It's really sensitive.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, don't go away.

[Brian Green]

And I turn around and my daughter's coming full bore right at me. And I was like, oh, why did you do that? And she was like, just had a shitty eat shit grin on her face because she loves to get her eyes.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, you've got your hands.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she's a boomhauer. That's what she is. She's a little boom. She's Stitch in real life form. She's Stitch. That's what she is. So anyway, yeah, Ice Cube getting no love. Alien getting all the love. King of the Hill already has a lot of accolades.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

What did you say about a 12 part series?

[Brian Green]

Alien is a new series.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, it's a series.

[Brian Green]

It's a series.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Got it.

[Brian Green]

Like, you know Alien, the classic movie, Right? Aliens, the classic movie. Then they had like Alien, Prometheus and Alien. I didn't see the most recent too, but Alien, the movie is like a work of art.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, it is.

[Brian Green]

I don't like horror movies.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

It is so scary.

[Brian Green]

So, so scary. It's dark, it's dreary, it's scary. It. It's. You feel so isolated. Like you feel claustrophobic when you watch that movie. And that's the intent. And I love it. And I'm not a horror movie kind of guy. I could skip it all day long. But Alien is a great movie.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, it is.

[Brian Green]

And so the same guy who brought.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

And 2. I remember being really good too.

[Brian Green]

Aliens with an S. Okay. Yes. That was. That's when the little thing was pregnant and it had like two heads come out of it. Disney used to have this ride, the Great Movie Ride. Anybody who's been to Disney World, when it was called MGM or I guess Hollywood Studios for a time, they had this great movie ride. You'd get in this big thing, like carried like 50 people. Yeah. And then it would just drive around this big studio and the studio was divided into certain scenes of famous movies.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That's fun.

[Brian Green]

So, like Singing in the Rain, Indiana Jones, like a bunch of different stuff, but one of the scenes was Aliens. And so you'd go into this part, the doors would close you'd be in this dark room, alarms going off, you know, smoke, red lights, all this other stuff. And then all of a sudden, out of the ceiling, ceiling would come that thing right at you, like, oh, my

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

God, I would love that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it was the first time it happened. It was terrifying because you don't expect it. And here it comes right out of the ceiling. Anyway, great movie, but the same guy who did the Fargo reboot on television is also doing the Alien.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, then I'm. I'm in. I'm going to trust it because those Fargo shows were great.

[Brian Green]

It's gotten great reviews for. From people who have already seen some of the episodes and. Yeah, I'll bite. Why not? Sure. I don't see it. There's not another Fargo this year. At least I don't think there is. So I'll buy. I don't know. Is that coming back for a fifth season?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

No, the last one with Jon Ham was the last one.

[Brian Green]

That's something. All good things come to it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I know, but they should bring it back.

[Brian Green]

When are they going to bring back Heisenberg and get some more Breaking Bad episodes? This guy. It's got to happen at some point.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I know, right? Well, they came out with the movie.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

And that was pretty good.

[Brian Green]

I liked it. I liked it. Didn't love it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

And then there was the Better Call Saul.

[Brian Green]

Better Call Saul was so good. Is as good as Breaking Bad. My personal opinion, as good as Breaking Bad, I loved. I almost looked forward to Better Call Saul more than I looked forward to a Breaking Bad episode. And I think the reason why is. And I watched Breaking Bad from the very first episode.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I wasn't watching it with you.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Jeff and I ended up getting come coming to it later and.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Of course, then we were obsessed with it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. You get six episodes in and you. How can you not watch the 7th and the 8th and every other one after that? It's so everyone, every episode, a piece of art. It really is so well done. The storyline just. It always was plausible. I mean, listen, none of it was actually plausible, but it always connected. The loose ends were tied up in some way, shape or form. There were never any dangling participles, which I fucking hate in a series like that. And so many of those, you know, prestige TV series are guilty of. But Breaking Bad I watched from the very first episode because I loved Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

You did. You were a big Malcolm in the

[Brian Green]

Middle fan, which is another fucking fantastic show. And Bryan Cranston shows off his chops in that show. He is a comedic genius. He uses his body and his face and his mouth and his words in ways that are just brilliant, in my opinion. Go watch Malcolm in the Middle if you want to have a fun time. But then, so I was like, oh, I'll bite. I like Brian Cranston. Is this a comedy? What is this? And it was far from a comedy. But he is funny in the show at times. But to watch that transformation, however, I was. That was unfolding, just, you know, unfolding. And we didn't really know what it would become. I know I was obsessed. I know I loved it, but I didn't understand the totality of Breaking Bad and what it would become, what Bryan Cranston would become as Heisenberg. This. Yeah, you were rooting from her for him at first. Then you were questioning why you were rooting for him then. He was a total lunatic, but you still managed to root for him. And then he was, like, the worst person on earth, but you were praying that he was alive and that he would be freed from the. That he wouldn't suffer any consequences. It's like you became obsessed with this absolutely evil person with very little morals or values, but you wanted to root for him. And that's why I think Jesse became a necessity in that show, because he relieved that moral valve a little bit.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

You felt like somebody in this craziness has some redeeming value. And that's why Jesse, I think, became such a critical role. And what. He was very good in that role. He. You could feel empathetic for him. Where at the end, the Bryan Cranston role of Heisenberg, Walt. It was kind of like, is there any redeeming value about. You kill people. Yeah, you murder people. You blow people up. You don't care who gets in your way. You just want money. That's it. That's all you want. Anyway, I didn't. I didn't realize what it would become. Then when I watch Better Call Saul, I understand within the first season that this is already super fucking fantastic. And they're going so far back. It's like starting at the beginning with, like, petty crimes and little shits that Saul would do. You knew where it was going, and

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

his partner, too, on that show.

[Brian Green]

Kim.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Kim, she was so good. I loved her ponytail.

[Brian Green]

She was good.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

She really was.

[Brian Green]

She was good. What a beautiful woman, too. I mean, just like, really gorgeous. Such a great actress. The two of them played off. Off each other so well. Anyway, I Didn't mean this to turn into a diatribe about Breaking Bad. King of the Hill. Fargo. Fargo. Yeah. All the shows that you've already watched. Sorry. Sorry about that. What I really wanted to say at the beginning of all this was thank you everyone who wrote in and gave kind words to Astrid and I's anniversary.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yes, yes.

[Brian Green]

Very lovely of you. Some people have asked, what are you going to do? Well, we've already celebrated a little bit, but we're going to go have a dinner. You know, when you have three kids, it's really hard to get away for too much time. But we have some help. So we're going to go have a dinner at a restaurant we wanted to see. What did you get each other? Was a question I got like, what is the 9th year anniversary surprise? Well, Astrid wrote some beautiful words to me and I took over the last couple of months have taken my AI band. Yes. Chat 33P. And I have programmed it 33B. I. I programmed it meticulously to make a song for Astrid. But you won't hear it here. But it was a song that I made for Astronaut.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That is very sweet.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I sent it to her.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

You guys are so romantic.

[Brian Green]

We can be. We can be. Not every day when you have kids, life is not romantic.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

It's just like the rose that you got her in the glass or whatever.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I got her. Yeah, I got her a glass rose and one of my kids broke that. She was like, oh, that's a thing. I. I go, I'm gonna get her a forever rose.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Uh huh.

[Brian Green]

It's so lovely. Look at that. I spent I don't know how many hundreds of dollars on it. This forever rose. Gold dipped in gold stays forever that way. Blooming and beautiful and all this. And I gave it to her for like our first anniversary. I was like, here you go.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Ta da.

[Brian Green]

Ta da. I put it on the. I remember I put it up on the mantel with like a little car. And she was like, what's this? And I go, it's a forever rose. What does it do? And it stays like that forever. And she's like, is that actual gold? And I was like, yeah, it's dipped in gold. And she was like, wow, how much did that cost? And I was like, what does it matter? Why does it matter? And she's like, well, it's great, but what are we gonna do with the forever rose? What do you want me to do with this? Carry it around? I don't know.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

You should have gotten like the thing that you can stick on the dashboard of the car,

[Brian Green]

one of those suction cups for the Forever Road, so she can take it around. Yeah. She's like, have you ever heard of Carolina Herrera? Because I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just not saying it's good. I'm not telling you you shouldn't have got it, But I'm also not saying you should have got it. I don't want to see him ungrateful. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I also don't want to seem grateful. So I'm just going to let you know, I would have preferred a vacuum, if I'm being honest. So, you know, hey, listen, you have hits, you have misses. What are you going to do? I thought I was being romantic. Meanwhile, I literally ordered it at a stand in the middle of a mall. Had to come pick it up. I'm not even kidding.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I remember those things.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's where I got the idea. And they had, like, one sample. One. And you had to order it because it was so much money that, you know, they don't have inventory at those places. They don't even have money. I think they give those things away for free, those little stands. I don't think you need any money. I think you can just show up with shit and start selling it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I think you could. At one particular place I'm thinking about. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. 10 places you could think. Yeah. Even Lenox Mall, all those stores are going out of business. That's insane. I have a feeling we're in for a rough financial ride over the next three years. I really do. I think this is. I. Well, I don't want. Anyway, whatever cares. Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. To Astro.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

You're a sweetheart, and she's a sweetheart, and I love the two of you. We're all sweethearts.

[Brian Green]

We're all sweethearts. Everyone's a sweetheart.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

And I'm so happy you two found each other.

[Brian Green]

Thank you very much. And thank you to the audience for texting in. I appreciate you being invested in our love. When we get a divorce, you're on my team. Just remember that. You come with me. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Brian Green]

One of the ongoing jokes that all of us have here at the household, including Chrissy, is that Astrid, someday Chrissy and I will retire to the villages while Astrid continues to live her young life out in a manner befitting of a queen. While Chrissy and I continue to do episodes of the Commercial break bringing in that hog money that we've been bringing in for so long. Remember, we're not part of that 3%, Prof. G. Said. We're part of the 5%, the ones who are barely hanging on sliver. Yeah, I'd rather be in like the 10% and just have a day job or be in the 3% and make $20 million a year like Prof. G. But it's not happening. So one of the the visions that Chrissy and I had after we heard about the villages was that we would be down in the villages in One of the 30 different neighborhoods they have their 152 golf courses, Margaritaville. And we'd be down there hanging out, living out our best lives by staying intoxicated on narcotics as much as possible, like apparently a lot of people are. Now, I realize a lot of this is conjecture and that it's probably mostly not true, but I have been hearing things on the Internet over the last couple of weeks, months I think because I was down in Florida, they were serving me up village villages content. I have a an uncle in law. Just like an addendum to the story. I have an uncle in law who owns property on abutting one of the villages. And for years and years and years, the sons of the man who started the villages have Been pitching him, trying to get that. Trying to get that land. And he's been doing improvements and building roads and all this other stuff. I, I think he's. I think finally he's going to come to a price and it's. He's going to be fabulously wealthy because they just keep on buying up land down there. Keep on buying it up.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Because there's more demand.

[Brian Green]

Yes. They own 57 square miles of Central Florida. 57 square miles. That's how big the villages is. Last check, it was over 150,000 residents. It's 55 plus according to Kathleen Madigan, whose mother lives down there. If you are not 55 plus, you cannot stay the night on the property. You can visit, but you cannot stay the night on the property.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Stay the night.

[Brian Green]

Kathleen Madigan has a joke about it. She says, I wonder if that's just what my mom's telling me. I didn't read any of that anywhere. And I've been through a lot of Villages material.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, my dad's in a 55 plus community. And that's not hard and honest. Rule kick you out?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, my room is a 55 plus community. I should have a rule about that because I sleep a lot easier. But one of the thing, it is 55 plus though. You do have to own property down there. You have to be 55 plus. They have 100 and some odd golf courses. A lot of them are 100, a hundred plus golf courses. I think it's 138. And a number of those golf courses are 27 holes. So I mean, but it's 57 square miles. They have the room for it. Right. Lakes, they have different neighborhoods, they have hospitals, they have grocery stores, they have restaurants. Its own little city, even though Hooters is currently in bankruptcy and the one up in the corner near where I live has seen its better days. I mean, oh my God, I wouldn't eat in there if you paid me to. I ate in there when I first moved here because I actually do like the chicken wings. It was nasty back then. And I don't think it's ever seen. I don't think it's seen a dish rag since. I don't know. But I'm just saying it looks terrible. It looks terrible. Still open. They just opened their first Hooters. And the line to get into the Hooters at the Villages was insane. If I could live another life, if I could be another person, I would be a waitress at the Hooters in the Villages.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I don't Think so.

[Brian Green]

With pads. With knee pads and elbow pads and head pads. Oh, I can only imagine how much those girls must take. Old white men, drunk, drugged out. They have activities every hour of every day somewhere on the property. I think according to some people, 24 hours a day, some activity, yoga, stargazing, whatever. Dancing, Lots and lots of dancing from the videos I've seen. But one of the things that alarmed me, that alarmed me the most is, you know, in America there is a real problem of STDs going around the 55 community because apparently they are because of Viagra and other supplements that allow men mainly to have continued sex well into their 80s or 90s. Get a hard on or a half heart at least. I'm just saying I'm an old dude with a half heart.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I'm trying not.

[Brian Green]

And a towel on it, hanging on it like cars. Brooks. They're having sex and they're doing it unprotected. And they're doing it unprotected and they're spreading around syphilis and herpes and chlamydia and all this other stuff. The swingers community apparently in the villages is alive, well and kicking.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I can imagine.

[Brian Green]

And instead of pineapples, while they do still use the traditional pineapples in some way, shape or form.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Traditional.

[Brian Green]

It's loofahs. Loofahs, yes. You put colored loofah on your golf cart because by the way, like the little mesh ones. Yes, the little mesh ones, yes. And different colors mean different things. Like blue is like I'm. I just watch. Green is. Go for it. I'm ready. I'm ready to take you right now. Yellow is, you know, we're cautiously.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We like to pee.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We like golden showers.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Yellow is I have bladder incontinence, so I may directly or indirectly pee on you. Red is, I don't know, can't get it up. But I'm still here for the action. I don't know, there's a bunch of different.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

There's a key somewhere.

[Brian Green]

There's a key somewhere. I guess it goes around in an email chain now lots of people online. There's also. There's a whole ecosystem of like 55 and over bloggers and podcasters who do you know, villages content like serious villages like villages news. The villages news crab apples, wshit. And some of them will say no, I haven't seen any evidence of that. But then there's plenty of people who do have evidence of it. Video evidence of people putting hanging these loofahs and so I came across this channel. This guy is far from 55 plus. He's probably not even 35.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I don't imagine a manager. I used to have a newspaper I worked for.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really? Maybe that's your old newspaper manager. Maybe he's down doing villages. Hey, Lance. Anyway, he's down in the villages. He has a channel called 55 and over on YouTube. I guess he's a young guy doing content for people that are 55 and over. You know, I can see the. I can see the angle there. He seems to be down at the villages a lot. And there's a lot of people who go down to the villages, like younger folks who go down to the villages to hang out on a Friday or Saturday night. Why? I don't know. But I guess the good drugs are there.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, sure, there's that.

[Brian Green]

There's that. So he's got a video. Are the rumors True? Is basically the title of the video. He's going to go around, talk to some people about some of the rumors that fly around the community. I thought we would watch it because we got to know what we're getting ourselves involved in.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We do.

[Brian Green]

I don't. I need to know what color loofah we're going to put on our golf cart. Well, I'm going to put on my golf. We're going have separate golf carts.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we'll have separate ones.

[Brian Green]

I'll probably be.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I'll decorate mine differently.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'll probably be like a rainbow. And that way just know that I'm up for anything. I'm all about it. Yeah, I'm.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Just invite me.

[Brian Green]

Yes, just tell me. All right, let's take a listen to this.

[Explore55Plus Host]

We're in the villages today, Brownwood Square. And we haven't done this video in a while. We're going to ask people. Worst part about the villages. Best part of the villages. We're gonna ask people.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

His microphone says road.

[Brian Green]

It's road. It's a Roadcaster microphone. Explore55Plus. I'm sorry, that's Explore55Plus.com. I'll give him a shout out. Explore55Plus on YouTube.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Are the rumors true? Let's go have a couple drinks. Gotta get lubed up for this one because it is not an easy thing

[Brian Green]

to go around and just asking people, no pun intended.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I think there was.

[Brian Green]

Are they a couple? Maybe. Maybe they're a couple. Maybe he's dating somebody that lives in the villages.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I don't know. He's a young, good looking guy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Huh.

[Brian Green]

And wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, I could see how a guy would be into this. An older lady. A sexy older lady living at the Villages. Drive your golf cart around all day, play golf courses, live off Social Security for the next couple years while they're still around kind of stuff.

[Explore55Plus Host]

So we're gonna grab a beer, and she's kind of hungry, so maybe an appetizer.

[Brian Green]

And then I think they are a couple. I think I'm getting that vibe. I don't know, the way that they're acting with each other.

[Explore55Plus Host]

It is Florida rolling on this interview.

[Brian Green]

Let's do it. Whoa. Those girls aren't 55 years old. No.

[Explore55Plus Host]

All right, all right, all right. What's your name first?

[Brian Green]

Megan.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Batman.

[Brian Green]

You could tell just by the way. By the way he's talking to a lady in a golf cart. That's the thing down in the Villages, you have to. Yeah, of course. Just like Peachtree City, everybody has a golf cart. And if you want to have some fun online one day, go to YouTube and do villages golf cart accidents and watch all the accidents on videotape of people just drunk, just driving into each other. One guy hits another guy head on, and an old dude just flies out of the golf cart, maybe 10 or 15ft. He's okay. But it is really funny

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

insurance industry

[Brian Green]

down there for sure. And I bet that there is one golf cart sales people. That salesperson that has racking it up a huge McMansion because of this Megan Begman. Ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban. Oh, she's sitting on the golf cart and she's like, leaned over in a way that only an old drunk lady does.

[Explore55Plus Host]

All right, well, what's your favorite part about the Villages?

[Brian Green]

I'm happier. You seem happy.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yes, she does.

[Brian Green]

You seem miserable. Awesome. Yep.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

People are nice.

[Brian Green]

Some idiots, but there are more people that are nice.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, it's better than being at home.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Yeah, it's. It's a very cool lifestyle. What's. Why don't you like the. The cars after four, I say take up the room.

[Brian Green]

You gotta wait for them to leave. And people don't move.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Yeah, like you get forever.

[Brian Green]

This is exactly what I would imagine the Villages would be. An old lady drunk on a golf cart, bitching about everything. And she found a way to complain about her retirement in beautiful central Florida in basically the Disney World. For people over 55 years old. This, by the way, this place is immaculately clean. Beautiful. It's a. It's. It's made up by Disney engineers. I have to imagine park behind the Buildings. Why they gotta park here? Golf carts and cars. Now look at them. Look all the way from the end. There's more golf carts. So rumor has it you have golf cart jams.

[Explore55Plus Host]

I'm here 10 years. What do you love about it? Well, I like the activity. I like this music. Restaurants, people most of the time are very nice.

[Brian Green]

What I don't like, I like hiding in the closet and watching my wife get pounded from behind. I'm here 10 years. I'm here 10 years every night. That's right. Flavor. Save it. Sniff it. Scratch it. Sniff

[Explore55Plus Host]

is people parking in handicapped spots. That's not supposed to. And then you get people that park right in the blue spots and nobody can go up the ring.

[Brian Green]

How did this guy manage to get into a conversation for three minutes and already everyone's complained about everything? Yeah, he's asking you what's nice about the villages, and you're talking about the helicopter spot. Everyone in the village is this handicap. So there's a lot of that going

[Explore55Plus Host]

on and they just don't care, you know?

[Brian Green]

But otherwise, I mean, it's a beautiful

[Explore55Plus Host]

place and they're not cheap on stuff. When they do something, they do it top notch.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that I got.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

The woman in the background's like, she can barely hold herself up.

[Brian Green]

One more gt Mommy. Someone took her golf cart keys away. That's why she's sitting there. And by the way, did you notice it's just a row of golfers.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And she's at the end and she's just slouched in a down. I mean, she's really just like slouching the way only a drunk lady, a drunk person would. And then there's two dudes just grab their lawn chairs. Yeah, just grab their lawn chairs to sit next to the drunk.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

And they're like in some kind of parking lot. Obviously, that's where the cars and golf carts are parking.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's bitching about people parking in the handicap spot. Meanwhile, he's taking up an entire spot with his chair. Oh, the blue fin gr. This looks good, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Put this on the list of places we got to check out. So. So what we're doing primarily is we're going to do the reverse snowbird bird situation.

[Explore55Plus Host]

When I initially came down here, I

[Brian Green]

thought, oh, man, you know, but when I just came down here, I thought, ah, I'm still 20 year olds. What? I don't belong down here. Look at my hair. I paid a lot for this.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Ah.

[Brian Green]

But now, now I found just as much here as I did anywhere else, so I'm good. Look at my dentures. I love it, brother. I mean, you got 106 pools, right? You got kicking weather.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Hey, I highly recommend this place, man.

[Brian Green]

It is easy going. It really is. This is going to be me walking around with sunglasses.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. A little gold chain.

[Brian Green]

Trying to make.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

You'll have a little shell.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm gonna have a little. Yeah, a little conch shell.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

A hemp necklace. It smells. It's growing mold. Staphylococcus. I'll be getting scarlet fever. It's probably where I got scarlet fever is from my hemp necklace. Trying to make cool with the kids. Hey, brother, weather's kicking. Weather's kicking. It's Florida. It's miserable.

[Explore55Plus Host]

I like the. I like this summer bird instead of the snowbird.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Because it gets busy. This is almost the time to be down here, man.

[Brian Green]

You don't need a reservation, bro. Right, right. Bro. Who is that? Looks like Guy Fieri's long lost uncle. Yeah, he does look like Guy Fieri, doesn't he? Imagine he has crazy blonde hair coming out of a headband and he's Guy Fieri. One more question. This is. This is. Are the rumors true? Oh, I have no idea. We. I have read about your loofah situation. Ah, see a little bit of anecdotal confirmation there, Chrissy, but other than that, I have no idea.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We're just new for that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I gotta. I got too cute of a bride for 32 years anyway, man. So hell with it.

[Explore55Plus Host]

So hell with the loofah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like you've never strayed. Come on, dude. You don't wear a gold chain like that unless you've been to a few strip clubs on Tuesday night. Well, plus she's buying dinner tonight. Did you just grab his dick?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He did.

[Brian Green]

He just grabbed his dick. Plus she's buying dinner. Ding dong.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Little adjustment.

[Brian Green]

He just rang the bell. Ding dong. That was so funny. I wish every time I grabbed my dick just that noise would come out.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Have it quickly on your phone.

[Brian Green]

I know. Look at that. Look at that.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That is sprawling.

[Brian Green]

That's a. There's an aerial shot of the villages. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's a European village. That's what it is.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, Looks like they're. They're going around and interviewing people in some kind of little square.

[Brian Green]

Town square. I. I read that they have like 22 different town squares.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Got to.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you got to dissipate that traffic. You can't have just one look at these Golf carts. That's an $80,000 golf cart probably. It's for those of you that don't know. It is fashioned. It's a golf cart, but it's fashioned after an old Rolls Royce and so it looks like a mini Rolls ride. It's crazy.

[Explore55Plus Host]

What's. What's your guys names first?

[Brian Green]

What's your guises? Guises is not a word. Can we stop that? Nancy and Dennis.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Great to meet you, Nancy and Dennis. All right, so best part about the

[Brian Green]

villages, a variety of activities. I mean you could do things from. You can fuck on a Tuesday, you can fuck on a Wednesday. You can get it from behind, from the front. It's a. It's just a smorgasbord of activities. Morning until late at night every day and do something different. It's very good. How long have you guys lived here? About two months. It's two months.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, they're not in the lifestyle yet.

[Brian Green]

Not yet.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Lived up to everything so far for the two months.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. Yeah, definitely. I would add to that the restaurants. The restaurants here are fantastic. It's hard to find a bad one. Yeah, you don't have taste buds at that age. You don't know. Old people don't have great. You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I guess. I mean, does your taste goes as you get older?

[Brian Green]

None of your taste goes. By the way, Astrid and I read something that the flora and fauna inside of your gut and inside of your mouth changes completely every seven years.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Seven years? Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so people get different tastes for different things over time. Which you might like when you're younger. And I can totally agree with this. Listen, cream and cereal. About every seven years I almost die of calcium overdose from cream and cereal. But I just. My experience eating in with the older folks in my own life, and I'm not even talking about 55 plus, let's say in your 70s, is that they don't like the. The food doesn't have to particularly taste good. And then they say, oh, this is so delicious. And I think to myself, are you tasting the same thing that I am? Because this is not anything close to what I would consider delicious. Anyway. Whatever. That's a different conversation. I'll talk about it off air. Chrissy. Oh, very good.

[Explore55Plus Host]

And you can ride your golf cart to them and there's tons of options.

[Brian Green]

There's so much here. It's a matter of what do you want to do or. Or not do you just. You can sit and relax or go do everything you want. And different variations of things like tennis and then there's paddle, paddle ball, pickleball.

[Explore55Plus Host]

How's the weather been in the. The summer heat?

[Brian Green]

Get to the rumors about the loofahs.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We need to know more about the loofahs.

[Brian Green]

Well, we know it's heat. It was interesting.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

They don't look like loofah people. I'm just saying, you know, what does

[Brian Green]

a loofah person look like? I've seen them in all different flavors and forms.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they just look a little like prem and proper and nice.

[Brian Green]

Listen, when I went to the sex party, I'm telling you, while the majority of them were young chiropractors, there was a couple guys that look like this mainly hanging out in the corner with their microven. Yeah, yeah. And then it was me, you know, just a looker. I had a. I had a yellow. I would have had a yellow.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Like it's a maybe.

[Brian Green]

No, just like, just here to observe. Just here to observe. Maybe later online at the Best things of Florida and the Worst things of Florida. The heat was in both categories.

[Explore55Plus Host]

It was interesting.

[Brian Green]

But yeah, it's. It's summertime. So what? It's hot. I'm a regular character, so it's free.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Thank you, guys. Have a good one.

[Brian Green]

See, he. They want to ask the questions, but they're not asking the questions. Yeah, you just got to go do it. But I can understand you're at the Villages. This is your girlfriend. You don't want to get kicked out. You don't want to be that guy who's known for asking like, you don't want to be the Howard Stern of the Villages. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Or do you?

[Brian Green]

Or I would.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, why not?

[Brian Green]

I care if I own the property. What can they do? I guess they kick you out. I guess the HOA there has got

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

to be a son of a bitch on point.

[Brian Green]

I have read that it is like iron fisted hoa and it is still owned and run and managed and developed by the sons of the same guy who had this idea in the first.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you got to keep your eye on that. I don't know all these people.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't see what's to lose here living in a situation like this, if I'm being honest. You go down, it is warm weather besides the crazy hot weather. You live in a place where there's a lot of people your own age. There's a lot of activities. It keeps you young and fresh and keep. Keep going. And so far, we've seen Just as many young people as we have older folks. So you're down there. It's just like you're living in a regular place, only at night. It's mostly people your age up, you know. Living. Yeah, living and living and dying. There's probably a lot of ambulances running around, but. Okay. Do you do golf cart ambulances? I question, are the rumors true? Do they have golf cart purse, by the way? I laugh. And like, in a decade, this is where I'm staying. I know. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Chrissy and I are wondering what the relationship is between these two. And I suspect there's a relationship going on here just because at the beginning of the video, they were really handsy with each other. And I don't. I don't know, they weren't kissing each other, but they were still kind of handsy in a way that I don't

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

think that's how mom and I just noticed the hug. But.

[Brian Green]

Okay, let's keep it. Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get more clues as well. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right, here's the next couple that they're gonna.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Let's put a pin in it.

[Brian Green]

Let's put a pin in it. There's a lot of synergy around here. Let's put a pin in it. We'll circle back after this meeting. Let's take this offline. Chrissy, you take this offline. If I hear that phrase one more time, I hope I never hear that. Walk with me. Yeah, walk with me. Let's take this offline. Let's set up a separate meet for this conversation. Let's not. How about an email?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, there's the Barnstorm theater.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Oh, I want you to notice something very interesting about this. Look behind the barn. Do you see that they have a big wall that is painted to appear as if it's the sky? Yeah. That is what they call forced perspective, and that is something that Disney does.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They make it look like the utility buildings and all the other stuff are part of the landscape by tricking your eye. And that's very interesting. So it is Disney esque in a way, I guess.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Nice to meet you guys. So Greg actually doesn't live in the village. Villages lives nearby and kind of enjoys coming over, but doesn't necessarily want to live full time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean it's exactly. Yeah, you're putting words in my mouth and beer in my mouth. So I'll talk to you a little bit longer.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. You want to pay for it?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean I, I love it here. I love what there is to do in the music, but all the golf

[Explore55Plus Host]

carts and all of that.

[Brian Green]

I kind of like my quiet time now. I come over here for the cuckolding. I come over here with my wife and watch her get pounded.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Absolutely. Like we get feedback from a lot of people and some people love that. And then other people think like, ah, it's a little bit overwhelming. So it's not uncommon to feel that way too, you know?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I've looked, you know, in here for four years, thought it's where I wanted to be. But I don't know, the newness wore

[Explore55Plus Host]

off, you know, and I really thought about it and then Sheila lives here full time. What do you love about it? Hate about it?

[Brian Green]

I love it because there's always something to do.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, she looks saucy.

[Brian Green]

She looks like the kind of girl that gets you in trouble on any night of the week. Yes. I just picked up golf. I really am surprised on how much I like it. But you really have to want to do things. But I'm getting used to it. I'm still on the fence a little bit.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

You can just walk around and drink there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, why not? I think it's kind of like its own little world down there. I don't think anybody really cares if you, you're drinking and driving. There's got to be police officers that come onto the property. Obviously there's no place in the United States of America where a police officer can't come except for Indian reservations. But still, I mean, you know, it doesn't look like there's much worry by any of these people just drinking in the golf cart, hanging out here full time. But it's, it's really something else.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Thank you, guys.

[Brian Green]

What about the loofahs?

[Explore55Plus Host]

Enjoy the song.

[Brian Green]

Enjoy the song. Enjoy this.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Is that Margaritaville again?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course it is. This is a stream of hits. I'm telling you. It's gonna be Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Cranberries when we get up there. Okay, we have enough with the rolling. Let's move on to another song. Honestly, can we pick another song, Introduce them first? So we got waved over by these folks because they recognize us from our channel.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yes. These are celebrities. We know them. We feel like we know them because

[Brian Green]

they've been in our living room. Oh, look at them. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like they know. I feel like we know them because they've been in our living room on my only fans channel. Only fans. Dot. Old White Pete. They're. They're famous in Texas.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

They're famous in Texas.

[Explore55Plus Host]

So you guys are staying in the

[Brian Green]

village of Texas now? This is in Florida, but they live in Texas.

[Explore55Plus Host]

You've rented a house, and you're kind of scoping the area out so far. What are your thoughts?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We love it.

[Brian Green]

We love it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We love it.

[Brian Green]

We love it too much.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we love it. Everything is just so nice, so clean.

[Brian Green]

Everybody's so friendly. You get drunk on a Tuesday afternoon.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Is there anything that.

[Brian Green]

By the way, this is probably 9:30am on a Wednesday.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, Definitely thought, like, I don't know about that.

[Brian Green]

Like, you didn't like. Not the crowds. We're not so sure that the amenities that they have that are more than others are worth the price for the crowds. When we were here before, it was fallish, getting in toward the winter, and it was already starting to get crowded. Why don't you pick an area that's louder when you do these interviews? Little background music would help this video out.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, it seems like that music's playing really loud no matter where they go.

[Brian Green]

Oh, geez, am I old? Because I'm like, this is obnoxious and it's too crowded.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

That's the main thing. Everything else we love.

[Brian Green]

So have you guys looked anywhere else in central Florida or.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, I think we're gonna look at On Top of the World and maybe the villages at Citrus Hills.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Yeah. You guys two doodle around and enjoy yourselves. Don't overthink. Cuddle around. Put a loofah. Put a loofah in the window. Take your micro penis out tonight. Cause I'm gone. Gone in the closet. Take a listen to my wife.

[Explore55Plus Host]

Yeah. Pleasure to meet you guys.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

All right, the next one better be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there better be something about aloofa here. The. The. The. The conversation about the. Completely, completely misleading. Completely misleading. That's my wife calling me. But we're gonna get on with this.

[Explore55Plus Host]

I was, but you've decided The Villages. Why the villages over Ocala?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I like that it's all 55 plus, so. And I liked On Top of the World, but I felt like it was just not as active as the villages. I just did a lot of research, and I've been watching some videos, and I really liked the Villages, so I brought them with me, and we're doing.

[Brian Green]

Whoa. Holy. Okay, older lady. Well put together. Looking nice as everybody in this video has, by the way. Not a ton of diversity down at the villages. I've noticed this. Haven't seen a person, a black person anywhere in these videos in the background or anything, but I'm sure they're there. I just don't see it, but I will say so. He pans over to the side to show the people that the ladies that she's with. It is three lovely young ladies that could not be. None of them older than 25 years old.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, the visit together.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Well, the fun part is this way you can experience it. And you're waiting two years to retire, so it's the perfect time to start and learn.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I really love the golf carts. This is truly a golf cart community. And I'm learning how to drive the golf cart.

[Brian Green]

I'm learning where to put the loofah. You're learning how to drive a golf cart? You've never driven a car? Yeah, it's actually easier than a car. There's no stick, no windshield wipers. I mean, some of the fancy ones do. It is pedal.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Right and brake.

[Brian Green]

Pedal and brake.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I scared them a little bit, but I am learning. But there have been some not so friendly people. But there have been some very friendly people as well. So that.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's what you get when you get a bunch of.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, a ton of people.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you get a ton of people, you're always gonna have an asshole in the crowd. And then, you know, listen, when you get older, I think some people get more irritable. Not me. Look at me. I'm aging gracefully. Go on the golf carts. Because sometimes they're in a hurry to get places. They know where they're going. And you're just retired, wanting to enjoy yourself, learning how to drive it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Explore55Plus Host]

They're probably from Jersey, too.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

There's so many communities and activities. And just from our first little tour alone that we had, it was.

[Brian Green]

It was really reassuring.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

She's the daughter.

[Brian Green]

And then, yeah, I gotta imagine they're either all daughters or friends, but I haven't heard nothing about a loofah. And that's what I want to hear about. And I imagine that all the people with loofahs are probably somewhere else. What I read also is that there are clubs, like there are swingers clubs, and that you can get involved in those clubs. And then the loofahs indicate something regarding the clubs and that this kind of got out because, you know, some Lucy Lips people in the clubs were talking about why they put loofahs on their car. Drunk, for sure. Everybody down there so far seems drunk. But that's okay.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I mean, totally.

[Brian Green]

I want to repeat what I've said.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I'm just saying it was a drunk person who let loose. Of course, the info, it was. Yeah, it was her.

[Brian Green]

I want to share our philosophy, and we've had this for a long time, since way at the beginning of the show when we learned that there were grandmas in Eastern Europe and Yugoslavia that were gacking lines down at every party. I think it makes sense to explore safely and responsibly when you're young, when it comes to chemicals and alcohol and all that, right? Then put yourself together in your late 20s. Get your together, Be a responsible human, responsible adult. Have kids, get married, do whatever you want to do in that period of time. Then when you get to retirement age, not 55, 65, 70 years old, just hit it as fucking hard as you can. Gack those lines. Smack that smack. Smoke that crack. Get it out, wild out. Because let's be honest, there's a reason why people do drugs, and it's not because it doesn't feel good. It's because it does feel good. Well, then. Then there comes addiction. Then it doesn't feel good. But who cares after. After 75, really? I mean, honestly, am I going to care? No. If I go, that's how I go.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Brian Green]

Brian Greene, former mediocre comedy podcaster with over 7200 episodes, dies of crack overdose in the villages in Florida at age 88. Yeah, byline, no one cares. At age 88, after a long bout with heroin addiction, after a long string of arrests for heroin addiction, crystal metal, crystal meth production and heroin addiction, I'm going to become Heisenberg. Irredeemable in my old age. Just a miserable son of a bitch.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

The hat.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I want to be the Heisenberg of the Villages. I think this is what makes sense for me. Listen, I'm not encouraging anybody to do drugs. I actually take it very seriously. Addiction's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. Ruins lives, kills people. It's terrible. But there is something Seemingly there's something appealing.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I'm saying fuck it. When you're old and just going and getting it.

[Brian Green]

It's not, it's not a. Nothing seems appealing about that at this point in my life. Because I have other human beings that I'm responsible for and I'd like to clear headedly take care of those people and make sure that I interact with them in a loving way, in a meaningful way. That there's some purpose to what I'm doing with them, some motivation and some drive that doesn't come from Vicodin, do you know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

But yeah, you got lessons to teach and. Yeah, things human beings to, to grow.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. But when they get older.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And they're able to start to understand what I'm saying on the commercial break and they really get embarrassed of me and eventually flee from the state to get away from me. What else is there except for drugs? And if there's a market, maybe that's a way where we can make some money.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Listen, we've already heard it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We can have a little delivery service in the golf cart.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you know they have it. You know they have it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

D. Yeah. D remember that cab driver? He's probably down in the villages. I had a cab driver, older guy, he was well over 55 when I met him. And I met him one night because my, because I had my. Because I met him one night and I. Yeah, well, no, I thought, I thought that's what we were doing was just getting a cab. Little did I know that the person that we were in the cab with knew the cab driver and there was a whole transaction that went down. Yeah, I knew the guy for 10 fucking years. I never once saw his face. I saw his sunglasses in the rear view mirror. He'd. He had a bunch of newspapers. He'd dig around the newspapers, he'd give it to you, whatever you needed. He was a literal whole foods of narcotics. And whatever you needed, you'd call him up, he'd swing on by as fast as he could get there and he'd give you a lift if you needed one. That was it. There's a market for really, really nice guy. His name is Bobby, Bobby. Bobby the cab driver. And I always have wondered, whatever happened to Bobby the cab driver? Did he get busted? Did he go to jail? Is he still driving that cab around?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He's down in the villages.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna call him later. Yeah, now it's gotten for my anniversary. Hey Bobby, you got some ecstasy in Viagra? I Can bar. He's down to villages and he's got a little taxi cab and a golf cart and he's driving around with all those damn newspapers everywhere. He had newspapers from 1972. That dude hoarded newspapers in front seat of his cab. It was like his friend, the newspapers, but he knew exactly where. Where it was based on. He would dig in the newspapers and they pull out whatever 10 Vicodin, cocaine, whatever you needed. So if there's an opportunity to make some money while I'm in the throes of addiction in my retirement community, I think we have the best of all worlds. It's win, win, win. I continue to be an idiot. I, you know, quicken up my own demise. And I give people what they're looking for. They're going to buy it from somebody.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I mean, that's how Walter got started, really. Where he got the cancer diagnosis.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Yeah, he got the cancer diagnosis. He said, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna leave my family with money. Yeah. A very, in my opinion, very noble

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

cause in the beginning.

[Brian Green]

I mean, there is no honor amongst thieves. But at the end of the day, it felt like a noble cause.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

The problem was he did it too early in life.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Till late.

[Brian Green]

He had. He had. Wait till late. Even though I think he was. I don't know how old he was in that show, but he was like in his. Oh, he was. Did you see that. That thing that I posted the other day about the TV characters? The people who played the famous TV characters that are all. Not all of them, but some of them are much younger than we are now.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yes, yes, I know. Isn't that crazy?

[Brian Green]

Makes me so sad. And then I Wonder, how is Mr. Roper 42 years old in three's company? That guy looked 90.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He did.

[Brian Green]

He looked 90.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, there were two, weren't there?

[Brian Green]

The first Mr. Roper, Don Knotts.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Don Knotts was old.

[Brian Green]

He was. Yeah, yeah, I think. I don't really know.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He was in black and white movies. He was in the freaking Andy Griffith Show.

[Brian Green]

He was in the Andy Griffiths Show.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

He was Barney.

[Brian Green]

I think Andy Griffith was black and white by choice. I think they did have color TV back then. I just. I don't know either. Yeah, and then he was. Yeah. Andy Griffiths. If you grew up in Atlanta and you knew that the Andy Griffiths show was on repeat for four hours a day on that damn TNT or whatever.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, there was always Nickelodeon, too, that would replay those.

[Brian Green]

Nick at night. Yeah, yeah, Nick at night. Okay. Anyway, listen, The Villages. We didn't get to the bottom of anything.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We're going to need to do some more investigating.

[Brian Green]

One question. I say F minus on the interviewing here. It's just like that review of something that we did one time. Remember we did a review of the Swingers resort?

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it was the boat. The cruise.

[Brian Green]

The boat. Yeah. Swingers reviews are just in general bad. We need a good swingers reviewer. I don't know the world, so I don't think I'd be the greatest. But if you want to bring me down to the villages 55 plus and over or whatever the channel's name is, I'll ask the tough question. You can drink the beer, how's that? We'll make that deal. I'm going to ask these girls. Hey, hey. The 20 somethings. Hey, are you into swinging? Anyway. Okay. Happy anniversary, Astrid. Oh, what's that? What am I doing? I can't take a break. We've already done the show.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Happy anniversary.

[Brian Green]

Happy anniversary, Astrid. You have this to look forward to in one short decade. For now, maybe a little up, but not too much. Not too much past that. We're going down to the Villages, babe. Actually, I think about it. My kids won't even be out of elementary school in a decade. What am I talking about? I'll be at the villages when I'm 90. Oh, I'm not gonna get to enjoy this 55 plus community because my kids will be five plus when I turn 55 plus. Oh, five.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Well, that pushes you later to get there. Which was what I was saying. Yeah, that's true. Happen.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. I don't have to live there for a while before I go into the throws of addiction. I just go bam, bam, bam, bam. Move down, buy a crystal meth pipe the very next day.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Get yourself set up.

[Brian Green]

Get myself stuff set up. I'm just gonna walk into one of the squares and be like, who's got Matt? I just see a bunch of old people like raising their heads with a quizzical look and then five or six hands going up. Doesn't seem like anyone gives a down there.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

No. Each of their own down there.

[Brian Green]

Each their own. All right, if you're listening to this on the day that it was released, then you will know because we have. I'll constantly reminded you that our merch goes on sale tomorrow, Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. That's a two week window. You pre order it, then it gets made, it gets sent, shipped off to you. Free sticker with every single purchase. Hats T shirts, university sweaters, hoodies. We're super excited about this and we know that a lot of you are too. So, you know, hey, listen, if you can support the show and you want to rock the merch, please do. And if not, that's okay, too. You know, I. I don't want to sound too pitchy, but we're excited about it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

So, yeah, we're just excited. We said, hey, if nobody else buys it, we'll buy it.

[Brian Green]

We'll buy it.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we want to just.

[Brian Green]

We'll give it away to other people, people who don't listen to the show.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

We'll finance it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we'll finance it. That's all right. Go down to the villages and hand out somewhere. That's right. Shoptcbpodcast.com that's shop tcb tcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th go buy your merch. 212-4333. TCB 212-433822 at the commercial break on Instagram. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam, I gotta get some cocaine. Dream.