TCB TV (-) : The Rally LA! Part 1

Summary

The Commercial Break – TCB TV (-) : The Rally LA! Part 1
Podcast Date: August 10, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

Part improv roast, part pop culture deep-dive, this special “TCB Minus” episode finds Bryan and Krissy attempting to review and react to the low-budget, faith-based crime movie “The Rally LA: Breaking the Curse.” After a series of chaotic technical issues and personal disasters torpedo their planned livestream, the duo decides to record their running commentary as a bonus podcast episode. Along the way, they lampoon the film’s bizarre plot, inconsistent acting, and questionable production values, veering into wild tangents and meta humor about the struggle to get anything “right.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chaotic Beginnings: A Smiting from the Streaming Gods

[03:39] Bryan Green:

“We must have smited God because He did not allow us to stream this... It’s just about par for the course.”

• Multiple failed attempts to livestream the episode, foiled by “landscapers, pool men, evil Yorkies, and a staph infection.”
• Bryan jokes that not even Kenneth Copeland can pray this stream to life.
• The duo admits they’ve “lost money” trying to make this bonus episode happen, with Bryan lamenting:
  • “We are $600 in the hole on this episode and there is zero chance we’re gonna make that back no matter how much merch we sell.” [08:28]
• Bryan and Krissy embrace the chaos and claim this is “just fine,” on-brand for their podcast vibe.

2. Setting the Scene: B-Movie Madness

[09:12] Bryan Green:

“Let’s watch this movie. This is Rally LA. Starting from the beginning, kids.”

• They give a rundown of “The Rally LA,” starring televangelist Kenneth Copeland (as a reformed drug kingpin), Eric Roberts (his not-so-reformed brother), and Rick Reyna (director/star).
• Bryan describes the movie’s production:
  • “They have no prop budget. They paid Eric Roberts all the money.” [10:25]
  • They repeatedly note the scenes are filmed in “model homes” with “awkwardly small, churchy doors” and “Haverty’s furniture.”
  • Running gag: Every character (no matter their stated ethnicity) sports “impossible,” inconsistent accents (Slavic, Mexican, Italian).
  • Krissy and Bryan roast the film’s “atrocious directing and miserable story.”

3. Scene-by-Scene: Running Commentary & Roast

• Early Plot:
  • Kenneth Copeland, outside “Louisiana State Penitentiary” (which is obviously not Angola), performs a jailhouse conversion ritual with his “son.”
  • [11:05] Krissy: “I still don’t get this part. Is that his real dad or just a godfather?”
  • [11:26] Bryan: “They look nothing alike. Copeland is not a Spanish name. I’m just throwing that out there.”
• Drug Cartel Meeting:
  • Bryan and Krissy pick apart a crime meeting with a confusing layout and “non-descript bottles”:
    • [18:13] Krissy: “Is he the mayor now?”
    • [19:01] Krissy: “This is definitely a model home.”
  • Geography error:
    • [18:44] Bryan: “He points to one [part of the map] and he says, Las Vegas. Then two inches up, Chicago. Because Chicago and Vegas are right next to each other.”
  • Eric Roberts’ acting:
    • [20:52] Krissy: “Eric’s really going Stanislavski method or whatever.”
    • [21:04] Bryan: “He’s method acting here... He’s done a lot of blow, which I think is true.”
• Domestic Drama (The Daughter & Mom):
  • They highlight weird, drawn-out exchanges about homework, jobs, and family “loads”:
    • [32:20] Bryan: “What is a Beal?”
    • [33:05] Krissy: “She got it [the mail] when she came in?”
  • Continually lampoon the script’s odd pacing and unnecessary scenes:
    • [35:06] Bryan: “I think we’re watching the director’s cut... seems really unnecessary to the plot.”
• Drug Operation Scenes:
  • The duo laughs at cheap prop drugs (“clearly not drugs, looks like baking soda” [40:15]), mismatched set changes (diner turns into a spa), and incompetent criminals.
    • [43:12] Krissy: “Are you cutting me?”
    • [43:44] Bryan: “As your kids would say, uh-oh.”
  • Missed stakes:
    • [44:11] Chris: “No consequences. He just made him mad.”
• Handyman Redemption & Absurd Generosity:
  • Kenneth Copeland tries to buy his daughter’s love with handyman services, which Krissy mercilessly mocks.
    • [61:02] Krissy: “That’s a huge group of people taking care of lawns and locks!”
    • [65:30] Bryan: “He sends a handyman over to put a screw in the front door, and she’s like, ‘Wow. I guess we can get that coffee now. All better.’”
• Suits, Robes, & Multicultural Accents:
  • Bryan and Krissy comment on “checked suits,” “polka dot robes,” and the actors’ shifting nationalities, blending Greek, Mexican, and Italian identities at will.
    • [73:00] Bryan: “He’s going in and out of accents—and I don’t even know what they are. Italian, Greek, Mexican…”
    • [75:16] Eric Roberts (as villain): “You kept enough until you die to be with Jesus.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Movie’s Absurd Racelessness:
  • [51:25] Bryan: “The Spanglish is so horrifically racist. I mean, it’s just so terrible.”
• Bizarre Domestic Advice:
  • [14:44] Bryan: “He said, don’t lose your children. That’s what he said.”
  • [14:47] Krissy: “Good advice. That IS good advice, Bryan.”
• Krissy on Set Design:
  • [16:25] Krissy: “They’re in my parent’s house back in the '90s,”
  • [26:20] Bryan: “He’s got a TV guide…he’s like, ‘what time does Wheel come on?’”
• Bryan on the Movie’s Morality:
  • [60:01] Bryan: “Kenny’s not afraid to have a movie where people shoot each other in the head to get a point across that the Lord loves you.”
• Watching Technical Meltdowns:
  • [05:39] Krissy: “We apologize to everyone—all 20...all seven of you—who actually tried to log on.”
  • [07:53] Bryan: “I actually had to buy an external drive to play this DVD… then try and stream it through a television broadcasting software that just did not play nice from the beginning.”
• Bryan on Merchandise:
  • [08:28] “If everyone who was supposed to stream bought merch, we would have just done better…”

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Highlighted Segments and Timestamps

• Opening Chaos and Failed Livestream – [00:00–09:11]
  • Introductions, musical bits, full explanation of the technical chaos.
• Setting up ‘The Rally LA’ and Movie Roast Begins – [09:12–13:07]
  • Bryan explains plot, pokes fun at casting, props, and opening prison scenes.
• Cartel Meeting / Map Geography Roast – [15:46–19:01]
  • Hilarious commentary on the film’s approach to geography and mob meetings.
• Household Scenes / Soap-Opera Subplot – [25:15–35:37]
  • Banter about mail, carrots, school, and Brian and Krissy lampooning the slow pacing and strange details.
• Drug Den Hijinks & “Production Value” – [40:15–44:11]
  • Running jokes on fake drugs, stolen goods, “CVS headbeats,” and a plastic fork stuck in a container.
• Handyman Redemption Arc – [60:59–65:54]
  • Over-the-top gratitude for basic handyman services, with Krissy’s relentless mockery.
• Accents, Sibling Rivalry, and Softcore Morality – [69:17–75:01]
  • Eric Roberts and Kenneth Copeland as brothers debating the meaning of life, wealth, and religion, frequently losing their accents in the process.
• Part One Finale & Sign-Off – [81:39–84:48]
  • Promises of a forthcoming Part Two, more merch pitches, and shout-outs to listeners.

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Signature TCB Moments & In-Jokes

• Meta References: Tongue-in-cheek reminders that “things only go wrong when we try to do something special,” poking fun at their own podcast's self-described “just fine” quality.
• Script & Acting Roasts: Mocking the “Stanislavski method” applied by Eric Roberts, recurring jokes about “model homes,” “fake bibles,” and “drug kingpins” who apparently launder money through tile business.
• Absurd Character Decisions: Observing the mom who’s “three hours late to work,” and yet always ready for coffee with estranged family.
• Breaking Down Fourth Wall: “Everything you’re hearing now, we’ve already watched three times...”
• Inconsistent Accents & Props: From costumes to geography, nothing escapes the duo’s pointed and silly asides.

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Overall Tone and Style

• Irreverent, self-aware, and gleefully unpolished.
• Heavy on observational humor, inside jokes, and callbacks to running themes (e.g., bad accents, broken livestreams, merch drops).
• Direct engagement and comical affection for their fanbase, with frequent teasing of each other and themselves.

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For Next Episode

• This is “Part 1” of The Rally LA breakdown—listeners are teased that “Part 2 will come out next weekend.”
• Listeners can expect “more fun at the expense of the terrible acting, atrocious directing, and miserable story.”

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For Listeners

You don’t need to have seen “The Rally LA” to enjoy this episode—Bryan and Krissy’s comedy turns a low-rent faith-based crime flick into a playground for their chaotic, affectionate, and relentless banter. If you enjoy unscripted, roast-driven comedy shows where the medium regularly becomes the message, TCB TV delivers.

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Notable quote to sum it up—

“We must have smited God because He did not allow us to stream this... It’s just about par for the course.”
(Bryan Green, 03:39)

Transcript

[Brian Green]

So you've loved, you lost a had some along the way. Life gives you lots of lacks but you're in your own way. You take the good and the bad but you don't ever win. That's because God hates you and you are full of sin. So grab your good book and roll in the family. It's time for tcb tv. That's right ttcb tv we love our tcb tv. We love our TCB baby. So you played by the rules, you did it all right but you're still in the basement and alone all night. You've paid your dues, you've cleaned your room but your mom still makes lunch.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And you sleep till noon.

[Brian Green]

So grab your pants and take a seat. It's time for TCB tv oh yeah, tc, CB tv We love our TCB tv. We love our tcbtv tv. We love our tcb tv. Turn on dcb tv gotta have tcb tv we love our tcb tv. We love our tcb tv. We love our tcb tv. We love rtcb tv. On this episode of the commercial break, in the one and only review that I could find anywhere in the world about the movie the Rally LA Breaking the Curse, the reviewer who works for the faith and family focused review site dove.org awards the movie its coveted faith based seal, but warns the viewer that there is some objectionable content. However, that doesn't stop the reviewer from giving the seal because God will forgive anyone of their sins, all they have to do is ask. I'm not sure if Kenneth Copeland, Eric Roberts or Rick Reyna, the director and writer, have asked for forgiveness, but I really don't give a shit. Welcome to the very first TCB Minus where Chrissy and I break down an entire television show or movie streaming. And here on the podcast, however, we must have smited God because he did not allow us to stream this. We were plagued with technical issues and frustrations. A swarm, landscapers and pool men, evil beasts in the form of Yorkies, and the plague in the form of a nasty staph infection running around my house. All of these Satan based things came to attack us right as we were about to go live. So if you were one of the very few that was probably waiting to watch the stream, our apologies. We'll figure it out and get it right down the road. It's just about par for the course, but as promised, here's your bonus episode of TCB Minus and this is just Part one. Part two will come out next weekend and we'll have more fun at the expense of the terrible acting, atrocious directing and miserable story that is the rally LA breaking the curse. Get your popcorn and refill your white claw, kids. This one's gonna be good. Without any further ado's, the very first TCB minus the next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Ho. The one hour late, a day late and a dollar short.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And best to you Brian, and best.

[Brian Green]

To you out there on the podcast universe. Add that to a long laundry list of things that have just not gone our way. Oh my God.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's been a comedy of errors.

[Brian Green]

Oh man.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'll tell you what, don't know what to say.

[Brian Green]

This is our second time not watching.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Cuz we didn't.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, cuz we didn't quite press record on the first one.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And after we couldn't get the live to work. So we apologize to everyone, all 20.

[Brian Green]

All seven of you who actually tried to log on people that liked it on Instagram. 20 people that liked it on Instagram. I know a couple people texted and I've already texted you back personally myself to let you know that because of the pool guy, the lawn guy, the dog, Astrid, the kids, the kids in the tub, my in laws yelling and screaming, all of it just kind of came together right at 4:58. And then the second we tried to go stream, we, we just lost. Just blew up. We rebooted, we unplugged wires, you know, you know, I k Y n k D n k. Why if you know, you do not know that Brian and Chrissy episode.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I was laughing to myself so hard.

[Brian Green]

It was funny.

[Chris Joy Ho]

This is an episode of something. Oh wait, it's our show. It's an episode of our show.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's right. It's another episode of the commercial break. See when we do just exactly what we always do, right, Everything goes fine.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Whenever we get into Scientology or Kenny Copeland, apparently things go sideways.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's also a full moon I think, coming up.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah, the third moon in the second phase of Mars. Yeah. Mercury rising.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Elon Starlinks.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Or whatever. All the new age witches are going to come out on Instagram and tell us what's going on. Anyway. Elon Starlin Link. Messing with our head for sure. Okay, but here we are, bonus episode where TCB minus We are here to with you to review to break down the reaction video for Rally la. Now in the first version of this that you didn't hear because it wasn't recorded. I told you what the movie was about via IMDb. Oh, I did that pretty good. That was my actual voice. But I'm not gonna do that this time. You know what I'm gonna say? I'm gonna say that Kenneth Copeland is a reformed drug kingpin. His brother Eric Roberts is a non reformed drug kingpin, still active. And Kenny Copeland is now trying to use the word of the Lord to slay his enemies on the streets. This movie is called Rally La. It's part two of a series of streaming.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Nowhere.

[Brian Green]

Streaming, absolutely. That's. That's really why we believe this has not gone well, is because I actually had to buy an external drive to play this DVD on the computer, then try and stream it through a television broadcasting software that just did not play nice from the beginning.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And we tried to sheen it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we tried to go to sheen, but it's. It only cost $22 and it melted when we got water on it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And Brian got a speeding ticket.

[Brian Green]

I got a speeding ticket.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Try and get close by and back. Quick, quick.

[Brian Green]

We are $600 in the hole on this episode and there is zero chance we're gonna make that back no matter how much merch we sell. If everyone who is supposed to stream bought merch, we would have just done better. Okay. Shop tcb podcast.com. the pre order window is open now until the 22nd, so if you can, great. If you can't, wonderful. If I sound a little fussy, I am. I'm old. It's past my bedtime.

[Chris Joy Ho]

At least I'm still drinking.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. Chris got bees. All right, so if I sound a little fussy and she sounds a little drunk, it's because we are. All right, so let's not delay. Let's get into the rally and la. I'm dropping this right in your slot on a Saturday afternoon.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Sliding right in.

[Brian Green]

Sliding right in your slot to slide into a slot. Let's go. Let's watch this movie. This is rally LA. Starting from the beginning, kids.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And we, LA State set the scene.

[Brian Green]

Louisiana State Penitentiary, Angola, which is supposedly one of the worst prisons in the world. But it doesn't look that bad to me because this is not really Angola that they're filming in. But here we go from the beginning.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Is that a harp?

[Brian Green]

Yes, it's a Spanish harp. Okay, now let me set the scene. Kenneth Copeland is, for some reason sitting outside an elevator.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And. And two guards are bringing in a prisoner up the elevator. And he's just sitting at a desk right by the elevator. I don't know why.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And Brian knows that's Kenneth Copeland because of the wave on the back of his.

[Brian Green]

I know his quaffed toupee anywhere. I know that Quaffed. Unless that is a stunt head.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kenny doesn't do his own stunt.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Now look at the guards. They have absolutely nothing. They have no weapons of any kind. No.

[Chris Joy Ho]

The one guy had like a stick, like a walking stick. Oh, a night stick for a blind person.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he did?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, you know, they paid Eric Roberts all the money so they don't have any prop budget.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Prisoner sitting down. Yeah, he's Latino with a like a braid.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's actually. I don't think he's Latino. I just think he's extra tan.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay. Okay. He's meant to be Latino.

[Brian Green]

Yes, everyone's meant to be Latino, but they all have Italian accents. It's kind of weird, but okay.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

That's why I'm here, boy. That's why I'm here.

[Brian Green]

But that's why I'm here, boy. That's why I'm here.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Do you believe that God raised Jesus from the dead?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yes.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You believe that with all your heart?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yes. I still don't get this part. And this is the third. Fourth time we've watched this.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Seventh time we've watched this. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

But is that his real dad is Papa or is that. Is that he's just like a, you know, godfather?

[Brian Green]

No, I think it's his real dad because of what happens later. I think it's his real dad, but I'll explain.

[Chris Joy Ho]

They look nothing alike.

[Brian Green]

No, they look nothing alike. Copeland is not a Spanish name. I'm just throwing that out there. I'm sure of it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Goblandia.

[Brian Green]

Goblendia.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Stay forward. From this day forward, I am a believer.

[Brian Green]

I am a believer.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I am a man of God.

[Brian Green]

I am a man of God.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'm a Christian and I don't.

[Brian Green]

I have terrible gas.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kind of cross eyed, isn't he?

[Brian Green]

He is, yeah. Kenny's. He's got a cross eyed. He's some cross something.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Gary knows about it. I don't care who knows about it. I pray this prayer. I pray this prayer in the name of Jesus.

[Brian Green]

Which prayer is, I'm Christian and I don't care who knows about it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That was Moses 3:17.

[Brian Green]

Ezekiel 32, 45.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Amen.

[Brian Green]

Amen. I laugh at you, Daddy.

[Chris Joy Ho]

The guy is laughing. I mean, his eyes are laughing, his mouth isn't, but his Eyes are laughing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He's even got a smirk in his mouth. This guy is like, what did my agent get me into?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So there you go. Kenny and his son sit down at Angola State Penitentiary, which, by the way, is in Louisiana. And then they're in LA for some reason. Okay, now I'm gonna fast forward through this part because no one cares. Yeah, no one cares about that.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's between. Just to give you a recap. It's between. The driver. The driver pulls up in an Infiniti 1992 Infinity SUV.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Golf.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So now we're going through the beginning of the movie.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kenny. Yep.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, I'm not gonna skip through that part. Oh, yeah, I should skip through that part. No.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay, well, the driver.

[Brian Green]

Okay, here's the driver. The driver's Rick Reyna. Okay. I'm gonna skip through the part where they're talking about all the people that are in the movie. Who cares?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, yeah.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's a good day.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yes, It's a good day. Oh, man.

[Brian Green]

It's a good day. Now let's go to the strip club and bang some hookers. Yay.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Oh, can you do something for me?

[Chris Joy Ho]

His accent is so terrible.

[Brian Green]

Can you do something for me? Can you get me a little toot toot? Snoot. Snoot. A little tasty.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Tina, can you call D?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Do you have any extra Viagra? The little blue pills make your penis hard for the Lord.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's wearing his white patent shoes.

[Brian Green]

White patent shoe. Kenny Copeland is. They're standing outside Angola State Penitentiary with his driver, played by Rick Raina, the director of this movie. And he's just announcing that his son has been saved by the Lord.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Good news. Thank the Lord.

[Brian Green]

Good news. Love.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Your family.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Amen.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Yes, sir.

[Brian Green]

Don't.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Lose your children.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Don't lose your children.

[Brian Green]

He's pointing to the prison as if, like, where did my kids go? I lost that damn kid again. Where is he? Angola State Penitentiary.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Did he say, don't lose your children?

[Brian Green]

He said, don't lose your children. That's what he said.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Good advice. That is good advice, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Hey, hey. Guilty.

[Chris Joy Ho]

You've got 30.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

There is something that I must do. I should have done 20 years ago.

[Brian Green]

Taking a prostate exam.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yes, we were in the same direction.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'm going to be away for a while.

[Brian Green]

Can you get me my cola guard box? I'm going to be away for a while.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Amen.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Amen.

[Brian Green]

Did he say amen? Yeah, amen. I hate people who say amen and, like, as if they've just prayed Something.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Take me home, Cal.

[Brian Green]

Gun. Take me away.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It really is like. What? That's no, that's no. Uber black.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's a 1992 Tahoe.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, it's got the ski rack on top.

[Brian Green]

It's got dealer plates on the back.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Of course it does. Here we go. Now we're getting to the meat of things.

[Brian Green]

Now we get into the meat and potato of the movie.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Amen.

[Brian Green]

Amen for the Lord. Okay, now we're at a house. There's a nondescript white man walking up to the door.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Hey, Paul.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Paul. Here's these pornos you were looking for. Thanks.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

See you on Monday.

[Brian Green]

See you on Monday.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations on your re election.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, so now he's political now?

[Brian Green]

And page number 33, there's a great ass shot. I just jizzed.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Why did they have the church door?

[Brian Green]

Okay, boys. Cause it's all. It's, I don't know, symbology.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Also, let's set the stage that they're in my parents house back in the 90s. It's open with the dining room table from Haverty's and the overstuffed chairs. That was a set. Yes, that came together. Including those pictures in the back.

[Brian Green]

I. I think you're right about this. I think they literally rented this from average and they're. They're probably in a house that's for sale. Because I used to rent my house out to movies. For sale. My house was for sale. And so anyway, it's a mixed group of people just sitting at a men at a table, some dressed in T shirts. One guy in a penguin suit, one black guy, five white guys.

[Chris Joy Ho]

There's a guy in suspenders.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Let's get to it. I got somewhere to be. Okay, when the shipment gets in, we'll split it into three smaller loads. When's it get in?

[Chris Joy Ho]

He said.

[Brian Green]

He said loads. He said loads. Hey, so let you know. Wait, you mean to tell me you were not tracking our drugs? Damn it. That's important information.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He seems like police. Yeah, seems like police.

[Brian Green]

He is police. Listen, I told you I'll be in charge of the tracking of the drugs. And I'm not tracking the drugs.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's got the military cut. But everybody else is bald.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, everyone else is bald. That's the. That's the look. That's the look of drug cartel, Chrissy. Well, look at me.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I know. I see.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Remember, the second shipment will come up to here. That's the one we need stopped. The other two can move.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Stop that Shipment.

[Brian Green]

Stop that shipment. Have my boys ready when it comes. And that makes for a great news story, gentlemen. And Robert will have yet another accolade.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

All for my city.

[Brian Green]

All right, now look.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Is he the mayor?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And that's when Todd does a press conference in his women's panties. Shipments will move through first into Las Vegas, second up to Chicago.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's hilarious. They have a map laid out on the table on this dark wood 1990s table. And he's pointing to one part of the map that's just a map of Chicago. It looks like.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, or it doesn't even look like. It might be a map of Chicago. It's probably a map of a township. And he points to one and he says, las Vegas. And then he takes his finger and he goes up two inches and he goes, chicago. Because Chicago and Vegas are right next to it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, they're close.

[Brian Green]

Don't worry, Paul.

[Chris Joy Ho]

This is definitely a model.

[Brian Green]

Son is in there for sure. I don't need the money. Right.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Your second term secured in the picture now we see Eric Roberts step up.

[Brian Green]

With his cigarette vape pen. I've never seen a vape that looks like an actual cigarette. I mean, I know they exist, but that's just a weird thing.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's got his wine. Glass of sherry.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Gentlemen.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Swirly.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's funny how we grumble over such trivial things.

[Brian Green]

Trivial things like where your drugs are.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

When's the shipment coming in? That seems like, not trivial.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Which city it happens to be in. It's funny.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Las Vegas, Chicago. Who cares? Why are we broke?

[Brian Green]

Why are we quibbling? We've got more important things to worry about. Like candy.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Life's about so much more, don't you think? As kids, we think the world is ours. Our parents struggle, but with the kids, we don't see the struggle. We live our lives.

[Brian Green]

If they're brothers, why does one have a Mexican accent and the other one have a Slavic accent?

[Chris Joy Ho]

They've got a bunch of bottles, just undescript bottles, no name bottles, by the way.

[Brian Green]

And if you look at all the different shots that they're taking, like from one side, all the bottles are always in the diff. The same. In a different shot, they're moving the bottles around the table. But I don't get what. Why the two brothers have different.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Who are the brothers that.

[Brian Green]

Kenny Copeland and him are brothers in the movie Eric Roberts.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Because they don't really have accents.

[Brian Green]

But it's true. They're fading in and out as if.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

That'S an amusement park running from right to right, stepping on the face of the camera.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Eric's really gone into it. He's gone Stanislavski method or whatever.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, you can tell that he's like. He. He's method acting here. He's gone on the streets. He's done a lot of blow, which.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I think is true.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Eric Roberts. Yeah. Oh, God, look at him.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Our candy is drugs.

[Brian Green]

Because I like. Because every kingpin calls their drugs drugs.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's our source. People need it like kids need the candy.

[Brian Green]

It's unsourced.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm not sure what that means.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. But I think drugs are sourced. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they are.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Somewhere.

[Brian Green]

Somewhere struggle.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Not in this room. Now, one man here wants for anything. Am I right?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Nest behind his head, he's got a wreath.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think my mom used to sell country. What is it called? Country Crockett or something. Country crack. Country Crockett, I think is what it was called.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Mirror with the nest around it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Handcrafted, of course.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Jeff hates wreaths.

[Brian Green]

I hate them.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Jeff hates them. Why put one on the door?

[Brian Green]

Christmas. Christmas. Don't put the dead tree branch wreaths around my house. It reminds me of the bird nest I had hanging outside one time, though.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

We've kept even our great man Paul from questioning.

[Brian Green]

Paul.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Our great man Paul from questioning. I thought he said a great. We've kept great Menopause.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we've kept menopause from questioning.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Just enough to keep them coming back to the hand that feeds them. Wise, huh?

[Brian Green]

Wise, huh? Since I. I made it up.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Up.

[Brian Green]

Whatever I just said, I made it all up or my name isn't Eric Roberts.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You boys finish up.

[Brian Green]

Your boys finish up.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Finish up with your groveling.

[Brian Green]

I don't need to hear about the unimportant details about our drugs. Stuff like where's it at? How much are we selling it for? When's it going to be here?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Those are unimportant.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I will be somewhere else talking with my brother, the reformed preacher Ricardo Montovan.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Don't mess this up. I sense something happening.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's got an intuition.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

The winds are changing. We need to be watchful.

[Brian Green]

The winds are changing. As a matter of fact, I just farted. I'm going to crop dust you and leave you. Leave you. You to sort it out. Thank you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

There's not a working toilet in this house.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this model home. This is a model home. The toilets don't go anywhere. Paul, let me give you a side hug. By the way, a man Giving another.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Man a side hug is weird.

[Brian Green]

Yes, been there, done that. But also let me tell you that my sport jacket is still sewn in the back. You know, when you get a sports.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Have to return it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true, they do. But when you get a jacket as a man, the tail is sewn. It's got two little pieces of thread so that they're easier. Yeah.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Good to see you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. It's been cut because it needs to be returned.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, it doesn't fit anyway. It's an ill fitting.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, he's wearing blue pants.

[Brian Green]

He's wearing blue jeans.

[Chris Joy Ho]

No, I think they're just blue pants. Chino pant.

[Brian Green]

That's weird.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And they're a blue chino. And then the gray sport jacket with the elbow pads.

[Brian Green]

Nothing like elbow pads.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And a straight up to the neck red.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's something straight out of drug cartel casting. Elbow pads.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Just go black suit. Go. Go tux. Like these. There we go.

[Brian Green]

Okay, now we're at the high school.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay. Middle school. High school.

[Brian Green]

High school.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay. Kids milling around the hall.

[Brian Green]

That'd be Chris.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I've seen him looking at you before. I don't even know his name. It's Jake or something like that. I don't have time for that anyway. School. Okay, well look, someone will call.

[Brian Green]

I don't have time for all that.

[Chris Joy Ho]

School send you a letter.

[Brian Green]

I'm talking exactly like a teenager would.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's what everybody says. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Between 1861 and 1865, the Civil War occurred. Now some of America's greatest piece. Does he have pubic hair at the front of his head? I'm just. I just wonder of literature were actually inspired by the war. Many of the writers and that just let you know. Now we're in a classroom. The girl who we've been introduced to via the hallway where she said she doesn't have time for boys at school to the time where actually is in the classroom or they were just understandably very interested. Today we're gonna be discussing Stephen Crane's Red Badge of Courage. Now you should have completed your first reading scene.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's got a TV guide, but I'm gonna be giving you some back.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're right about that. He does that.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's like, I wanna watch this show.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He's like, what time does Wheel come on? Ground information on Crane himself. Now do take notes because this is going. Let not your focus be divided.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's leaving the sticky note.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but look at her. She's actually taking a test.

[Chris Joy Ho]

No, she's taking notes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, why wouldn't you? So this girl's.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She doesn't look like her focus is off.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's trying to get in bed with her on your final exam coming up. Crane was actually born six years after.

[Chris Joy Ho]

The Civil War ended.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Now the girl is walking across the street, we're assuming to her home. There's a lady next door to her who's got a big push broom who's cleaning the already cleaned sidewalk.

[Chris Joy Ho]

You know those. You use those.

[Brian Green]

And as I pointed out now, three times, because we've watched this three times, these houses are. They're cluster homes. So they're sitting right on top of each other. And the lady has a lawn that is no bigger than the size of a lawnmower, yet she has a lawnmower.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Just sitting out there. Chris, come over real quick. Your lawn's looking really nice, Miss Betty.

[Brian Green]

Thanks. Thanks, Betty. Thanks. Have you ever heard of the skincare line Starbeam? I've got some extra boxes at home, and I think you'd be really good at selling it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's work and patience. Everything going good in school? Yeah, just busy homework and finals.

[Brian Green]

Have you ever thought about dropping out of school to sell Starbeam skincare products?

[Chris Joy Ho]

And how should we. Yeah, she's working a lot. I know it's tough. I admire her.

[Brian Green]

Can you tell her to return my rabbit?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. I'm retired. Yeah, so I don't.

[Brian Green]

I'm retired. She's doing her best. Have you been watching Fox News lately? Your mom's an immigrant. Nice. Is coming to raid your house. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, I gotta go, so I'll see you later. Go on.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Sweet one.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Sweet one.

[Brian Green]

Sweet one.

[Chris Joy Ho]

So, like, sweet leaf. Ozzy. Yes, Chris.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Chris.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Have you ever thought about sleeping with women? Cause I grew up in the 60s and I could talk about it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. Kenny, meanwhile, is weirdly singing a car.

[Brian Green]

Across the street watching Light Escalade. Yeah, well, maybe he's trying to. Like, she's the drug pusher for the high school. Remember?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm just a phone call away. I know. And Chris. And Chris come over anytime, day or night. Night. No matter what time it is. Okay.

[Brian Green]

And Chris. And. And Chris. Chris.

[Chris Joy Ho]

No matter what time it is. Oh, the. The gardening woman looked at Kenny.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she looked at Kenny because she knows he's sitting there. That's why she's got this. She's got an intuition. Something's going on. All right, let's take our first break. We'll be back with the rally la shop tcbpodcast.com. our merch window is now open. And if you can support the show in that manner, we certainly would appreciate it. Make sure you tag us on Instagram at the commercial break with your merch gear on, because we're going to give some additional merch to one or two merch on, merch on, merch. Just unlucky, folks. And remember, you get a free sticker with every single purchase. We'll be back. Hey, you. Something about a TCB logo on a university sweater gets me hot in the pocket, if you know what I mean. What do you say we finish our drinks, go find a computer or go to shoptcbpodcast.com because I know they're selling some slinky gear. But only until August 22nd. And hey, a little vibrating rabbit told me that you get a free TCB sticker with every single purchase. There's nothing slinkier than a body draped in commercial brake gear. Piggy fronting indeed. Hey, one more idea. When that gear gets dropped off at your front door, let's take everything else off. We'll put our smokin hot merch on. We'll take a picture and tag hecommercial break. Cause daddy loves a free thing or two. And I hear they might give away some additional merch. Well, this is a game of ball in the pocket that I've been wanting to play all night long. Shoptcbpodcast.com but only till August 22nd. Now do me a favor. Put your credit card down for the bar tab. Because they don't take dogecoin here. Then I'm a little short on the long scratch. Buy now. Okay. And we're back with Kenny Copeland rally la. He's sitting outside some young girl's house. And so far, all we've learned is that Eric Roberts has a shipment of drugs coming in. And Kenny Copeland has now converted his son, who's in the Angola State Penitentiary, to the word of the Lord. But now Kenny is creeping on some teenage girl. And we don't know why.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Why?

[Brian Green]

Let's find out.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Hey, mom. Smells good in here. Hey, baby. Hey. Do you need help with this? She's not cooking anything.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's not cooking anything. No, she's making chips and salsa. Look at that. Smells good in here. Is that new salsa from Tostitos?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Good. Okay. How was school? Same as always. Chopping?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's just chopping some carrots. Like that doesn't make it smell. How. How was school?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Have any homework? Yes, I have calculus. I have history paper due and some other Things. That's a lot of homework.

[Brian Green]

That's a lot of homework, bitch.

[Chris Joy Ho]

More, Chris. It's a lot, but it's okay. I can handle it.

[Brian Green]

I can handle it. I'm ocd.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Do you need my help? Nope.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

What?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Are you sure? Yes, Mom. Good. Cause I can't do calculus.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, okay, good. Cause Mommy's gotta go sell drugs for your uncle.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Do you work tonight? Yeah, I do, Mom. It's been like 10 days since he had a day off. Honey, I know, but Mary is busy right now with a lot of other things and I need to pick up the extra load right now.

[Brian Green]

It's not fake, but. But. Shut up, bitch.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Sure. Chris, listen to me. This is what I have to do. Mary is the boss and could get a promotion. I can get a job. I can help with the bills.

[Brian Green]

The Beals. What is a Beal?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

What is a beal?

[Chris Joy Ho]

You're not getting a job. Do you hear me? You've got calculus.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And a history paper. You've got calculus waiting for you outside.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And dad. And Mommy wants you to get on one of those dating apps. Stop being such a prude.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's why I have three jobs. So you can go to school and get an education. That's what I want for you. Okay. Okay. Your education is the most important thing. That is true, kids.

[Brian Green]

That is true, kids. The education is the most important thing. Says the man.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay. Okay. Now please get the mail. Yes, please get the mail.

[Brian Green]

Now get the mail. Get the mail. What a weird.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She gotten it when she.

[Brian Green]

I know. Why didn't she just get it when she came in?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, because next door, nosy neighbor.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, nosy neighbor won't leave her alone. Kenny's out there creeping on her.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, she wanted to get in quick. I get it.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, me too.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Now get out there and get the mail.

[Brian Green]

If Kenny's not trying to make himself known, he's sitting literally across the street. Good stakeout.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. He's the most. Oh, look at him. Look is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He's like. I love.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Up on the steering wheel looking at her.

[Brian Green]

I love G. He had a driver.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Before, now he's driving himself.

[Brian Green]

He killed the guy. He killed Rick Ra. No, I don't. Mom.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's going to be okay. You're right, baby.

[Brian Green]

Come here, baby.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Such a good girl.

[Brian Green]

I got the mail.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Such a good girl right now. But they are gonna get better and better and better and better. Okay? Okay. What's gonna get better?

[Brian Green]

Life, Chrissy. Life's gonna get better and Better and better.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay, okay.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she's in her room studying now. Christina.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Chris, Listen to a little rap.

[Brian Green]

Hey, hey. Are you listening to the devil's music?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm getting loud. Mom, I'm not nine years old. I don't care. That's still too loud.

[Brian Green]

I want to tell you about protection.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Not much. I won't be up too late. All right, well, I'm gonna be leaving for work soon. You gonna be all right? Yes, I'll be okay. Don't worry. All right, well, just make sure that you lock the doors before you go to bed. And if you need anything. I know Miss Betty. She's next door. Did I Miss Betty?

[Brian Green]

Yes, Miss Betty.

[Chris Joy Ho]

All right, well, I love you. I love you. Okay, Good job. You've done them all wrong.

[Brian Green]

I think we're watching the director's cut because a lot of this seems really unnecessary to the plot of the story. Yeah, I thought she had to go to work. She's taking a nap.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She's gonna take a drug.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, no. She's gonna take lay down, little nap. Oh, good goodness.

[Brian Green]

Oh goodness.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, she's about to leave for work.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, fuck work. Just five minutes.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Just five. She's exhausted from cutting those carrots.

[Brian Green]

That's it. It's been a long day of cutting carrots. Those carrots that smell so good.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, 4:45.

[Brian Green]

4:45. She slept for an hour.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Uh oh, that feeling's the worst feeling.

[Brian Green]

It is the worst feeling, but my body doesn't let me do that anymore. I'd like some internal weird claw that if I say I have to be up by something, my will wake me up automatically. I hate it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, not feeling well.

[Brian Green]

It's probably all the drugs she's been taking. I just need a little drugs to get through.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yep, yep, yep. She's digging in there.

[Brian Green]

Oh, nothing like taking some night some Zyrtec to keep you up. She's literally taking a pill from a box.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, like an allergy pill.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Could be a heartburn medication. Could be.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Be.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's the first thing I do if I'm late. Just hang out in the bathroom.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, me too. I hang out in the bathroom. I take a zh, Wait for it to kick in, and then look at.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Myself in the mirror. What am I doing with my life?

[Brian Green]

I can get through the night if I've got a Zek, but I stay away from Allegra. That will you up. Up. I don't you up, Chrissy. Oh, two drug guys are in the diner now. We're here At a diner and two drug guys just walked in. How do I know they're drug guys? Because they're wearing all black.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Nothing like a whiteboard too in the background.

[Brian Green]

I know. Cup of coffee.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Cup of coffee.

[Brian Green]

That's it. I didn't even say hello to you. You just said cup of coffee.

[Chris Joy Ho]

You?

[Brian Green]

Same.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Cup of coffee.

[Brian Green]

Where's she at?

[Chris Joy Ho]

She's in the back. Where's she at?

[Brian Green]

Oh, back there. Anyway.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm looking for some girl. Could it be the mother?

[Brian Green]

Probably. That's what I think. I think the mother is selling drugs on the side.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Now they're going to the back of a dressing room.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. How did they go from a restaurant to the, to a Asian spa? How did that happen? That was weird. Hey, baby.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

How you doing?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm fine.

[Brian Green]

Okay. I said I was fine.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's not the mom.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's not the mom. It's. It's one of the drug guys. Girlfriends.

[Chris Joy Ho]

No.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

What is it?

[Brian Green]

It's the Lord. I haven't kept up with my Bible studies and I'm feeling shitty. Frankie. Okay? You know how he is. He's just, he's at it again.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Frankie. No, hang on. I just. They're literally in a, in a dressing room.

[Brian Green]

Make me go away. This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. They were in a diner and now they're in a spa or a dressing room.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, it's lavender colored paint on the wall. There's the dressing rooms.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I didn't know a diner. I didn't know the diner was that big when I saw it at first.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She's in the back.

[Brian Green]

She's in the back with Frankie. You know how he. Yeah, you mean like on a vacation?

[Chris Joy Ho]

No, I don't mean a vacation. I mean someplace permanent.

[Brian Green]

You know, we can't leave. It's not that easy. This is my life.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

This is what I do.

[Brian Green]

I'm a drug. I'm a drug guy. Chrissy. I can't just get out. All the drug things keep me here.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, I don't like this life for us.

[Brian Green]

Marcos, for working for him. It's okay. It's okay. We can get through this. First of all, my name is Marco. It's Todd. Let's see if I need some time off.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Time off?

[Brian Green]

Yes. I'll ask the drug guy if I can have some time off from all the drug things.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I've got some PTO I have not used.

[Brian Green]

By law. He has to give me paternity leave. Osha.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I just, I, I, I just, I.

[Brian Green]

I feel Like, I'm losing it here.

[Chris Joy Ho]

One day when I walk in there, it's like a restaurant. When I walk back here, it's like a dressing room.

[Brian Green]

I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm in a diner. One minute I'm in an Asian spa giving hand shandies to Ricky.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Frankie.

[Brian Green]

Yes. One day you're Marcos, the next day you're Todd. I can't even figure it out.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

It's okay. Look, I'll go in and I'll talk to Frankie. Maybe that'll ease things up.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's in dressing room number two.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'll be right back.

[Brian Green]

Let me go into the Holiday Inn offer. He's gonna turn the corner, and we're gonna be back at the elevator scene from the beginning.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yes. Going up.

[Brian Green]

By the way, what's so bad about working in a diner? I didn't know it was that.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Diner. Dressing room.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Oh. Oh. We're in a warehouse. This is the never ending building. Yes. What's up, Marco? What are these drugs? Because it looks like baking soda, by the way. Now they're in a warehouse. There's a guy with the headphones on, and he just picked up a bag of what clearly is not drugs. If you've ever done drugs.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It kind of looked like one of those things that my housekeepers leave when they leave, they do, like, a little rose with the toilet paper.

[Brian Green]

A potpourri. Oh, no. Rose of the toilet paper. Oh. Oh. Yours does that?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

What's Noemi up to? Gonna talk to her. Look, man, look. Production's low. Production's low. So I've been doing a lot of our own stash just to keep it up. Why is it so low, Frankie? We're still waiting on a new shipment to come in. We don't just make one thing in here, man.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Man, come on, bro.

[Brian Green]

You know, things have been tight. We got a few ladies out sick.

[Chris Joy Ho]

So they're not coming in. It's.

[Brian Green]

A few of the ladies are out sick, Chrissy. I told them to stay out.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Call them.

[Brian Green]

Call them now.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Get them in here now. I told April in.

[Brian Green]

April is not to be told what to do. She's watching over this operation for me. So anything she says to you, I want you to treat it like I'm standing right in front of you. Got that?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Like I'm your theater director in this theater.

[Brian Green]

What are these bags, Frankie?

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's my cafe.

[Brian Green]

What are these bags full of white stuff? Is that drugs? Are we doing a drug operation with actual drugs, Frankie?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I love that he's Got a big gulp.

[Brian Green]

Uh oh. He's taking a. Uh oh. Oh, he's gonna find the extra stash. It's just my jacket.

[Chris Joy Ho]

What's this?

[Brian Green]

What's this? Extra drugs in the drug house? Frankie.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Look at the fork. The plastic fork. That's.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's stuck in the container. Also, look at the candles in the background. Lit up. I know.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And the big gulp. None of it makes sense.

[Brian Green]

Oh, this is awesome.

[Chris Joy Ho]

So 1, 2, 3.

[Brian Green]

Have you been learning how to count again, Frankie?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, hidden drugs.

[Brian Green]

He's stealing drugs.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's a lot. That's like, way more than an eight. Yeah, like, those are like three eight balls.

[Brian Green]

If you're going to steal from the drug kingpin, steal like three, not like 30. Well, it looks like you're taking a slice for yourself. Hell, Frankie, are you cutting me? No, Marco, really, I'm not.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Are you cutting me?

[Brian Green]

Are you cutting me? Frankie? Are you cutting down the side? Are you using your extra. Your own baking soda, Frankie?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, he's got to pay for those CVS head beats.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the beat he's got those fake beats on. Yeah. Who do you think span the candle bill around here, Marco? You made me mad, Frankie. You made me mad.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Uh oh.

[Brian Green]

Uh oh.

[Chris Joy Ho]

As your kids would say. Uh oh.

[Brian Green]

Frankie's 10% discount on diner sandwiches.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Gone.

[Brian Green]

You made me mad.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And no more free use in the dressing rooms.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And no more use in the dressing rooms or the warehouse.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, man.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's what I do after I get busted taking drugs from the kingpin. Just go back to what I was doing.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. No consequences. He just made him mad.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. By the way, look at where the. The fake beats are plugged in. Into the Styrofoam.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Into the Styrofoam with the fork.

[Brian Green]

Tune in, Tokyo. We should do away every day.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kenning's still. Okay, we're back to the street. Kenny's still scoping things. Oh, he's walking into the door.

[Brian Green]

Walking to the door of the young lady. Christina. I bet it's his granddaughter.

[Chris Joy Ho]

What's that?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Did he even ring the doorbell? Okay, there we go. Good job. He changed clothes.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He did. He's got a checked suit on now.

[Brian Green]

Wish it away every day.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Chris, open the door. Oh, the mother. I thought she was going to work.

[Brian Green]

She was late for work, too. Too.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's me.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's me.

[Brian Green]

It's me. Papa. Papa. That's not how they say it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She was late for work. Yeah, an hour ago, but.

[Brian Green]

Well, Papa is here.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Oh, my gosh. Sweetheart, just came by to see you. I hope it's okay.

[Brian Green]

See, I wanted to tell you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kenny's eyes go like that.

[Brian Green]

I know. They. They crisscross and they're devilish. They. He's. He looks like a Cheshire cat. I wanted to tell you I'm out of the dog's business now.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I can't believe it's you.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I know it's been a long time.

[Brian Green]

I've had a lot of Botox. A long time?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, I would say so. 20 years. 20?

[Brian Green]

Hold on.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kenny was a young man bumping around.

[Brian Green]

I realize that even 20 years is a long time. But you don't think you'd notice your dad after 20 years. Who are you? Yes, can I help you?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I also know that this is a big surprise for you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, I would say so.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I would say so. Now, if you excuse me, I've got to get back to my Claritin addiction.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Sally, please.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I've changed my way. Please.

[Brian Green]

I got to take a hot. Can I use your pretend toilet maybe.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

To have some coffee for this old man?

[Chris Joy Ho]

You haven't written. I haven't heard from you since I was a. Coffee. And you come to my house and you want coffee?

[Brian Green]

Okay, I'll take drugs if you've got drugs.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I am so sorry about that.

[Brian Green]

I really apologize. My pen was broken and things just didn't work out.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I was on drugs.

[Brian Green]

I was on drugs.

[Chris Joy Ho]

You have no idea how I feel. Don't you come here to my house, telling me you are sorry.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I would like to make it up to you if I can.

[Brian Green]

If I can. Chrissy. If I can.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Kenny's acting skills need a little work.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy, if I can.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's me. I know it's been 20 years. We can have a cup of coffee.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Fine.

[Brian Green]

Fine. One glass of Sanka and then you're out.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I have five minutes and one glass.

[Brian Green]

Of water and I'm three hours late to work.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I was supposed to be there early. Then I took a nap, woke up late. Now I'm still here. I know.

[Brian Green]

I thought she was gonna get a promotion at work or some. Okay, see, I will take it. See, I will take it. I will take it. Pepy.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Love you. I get in here. Kenny.

[Brian Green]

That's a terrible picture of that girl.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

[Brian Green]

Well, I mean, I'm sure it was taken in two minutes ago. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

This whole thing, it's a model home.

[Brian Green]

Who has lights like that in there? No one.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's because no one.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

She's beautiful. Like her grandmother. Oh.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Now they're gonna go into Coco the abuela. So what, are you here on business?

[Brian Green]

No, no, I don't do business anymore.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I mean, all of this is model home.

[Brian Green]

What time is it? Oh, it's still 12:05.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I just came to see you.

[Brian Green]

I just came to see you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, it's been 20 years, so might as well not be around the bush. I thought I had it figured that you sent me away to protect me.

[Brian Green]

Mm.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And during that time, I just convinced myself you love me. And that's why you did it. What? Say.

[Brian Green]

Seriously? That's exactly why what you said. Exactly what you said.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Beautiful baby.

[Brian Green]

You.

[Chris Joy Ho]

My husband who passed away. But not once. You didn't send me a letter once.

[Brian Green]

Well, about that.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I have no idea how to raise a little girl.

[Brian Green]

With my two hands.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, he's putting them together like some water.

[Brian Green]

This is so strange.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

With a boy, that's easy.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. My boy is in jail, so that was easy.

[Brian Green]

My boy, that was easy. I put him in Angola State Penitentiary to save my own ass when I got busted by the Fed.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Girls, I had no idea.

[Brian Green]

Girls, they have vaginas. It's complicated machinery.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I sent you to my sister. I know.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She was Aunt Betty.

[Brian Green]

Aunt Betty.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

And I believe she did.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She became my mother.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

She. She wrote me again and again asking to bring you to see me, but I. No response.

[Chris Joy Ho]

No.

[Brian Green]

I don't respond. No, I know. Respawn.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's not okay.

[Brian Green]

The Spanglish is so horrifically racist. I mean, it's just so terrible.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I was never afraid of nothing.

[Brian Green]

But that is a double negative, so I was actually afraid of everything.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I was never afraid.

[Brian Green]

I was never afraid of nothing.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

But Sally, bringing you into my kind of life, that frightened me.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well.

[Brian Green]

Well, I can understand.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I consider you auntie's request, but I just push him aside. But now those fears are gone.

[Brian Green]

And you want to know why?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I.

[Brian Green]

The word of the Lord and I.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Found out you were. You were in la and did I have a granddaughter I would like very much.

[Chris Joy Ho]

You mean his sister didn't tell him? Keep him posted on what was happening.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, listen, it's complicated.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I all of a sudden found you. You're in la.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So I found out you were in la and I decided to come down with my driver, who I killed moments ago and changed my clothes. And it's still 1205 on your clock.

[Chris Joy Ho]

So what? No wonder she's late for work.

[Brian Green]

I know. She's. I thought her job was important and she had to work Because Mary was out of town.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Three jobs.

[Brian Green]

Three jobs. It's now 8:15. She was supposed to be there.

[Chris Joy Ho]

4:45 and a nice car. And we need to take us to the mall perimeter.

[Brian Green]

What? Are you gonna take us to the mall?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Please.

[Brian Green]

There's a sheen pop up. No, I don't have any money.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I, I, I bought these clothes. This is, these cream chinos were the last thing I bought.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Sally. I know. I just. Walking through your life, I did not know. I had no idea what to expect.

[Brian Green]

By the way, I hear this same music when I'm getting a massage sometimes. Oh, yeah, it's the, it's the slow Spanish harp.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I would just like to make things right. Please.

[Brian Green]

See? See, Papa, you have to get going.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I, I've been trying to get to work for five hours.

[Brian Green]

I'm one day late to work.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I was there yesterday.

[Brian Green]

Does no one here have a cell phone? And, and no one's calling them.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Do you have AEL number?

[Brian Green]

Oh, there we go. All right, I can, Let me just think about this.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I can call you from my home phone because I don't have a.

[Brian Green]

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Chris Joy Ho]

We could start there.

[Brian Green]

Oh, there's the cell phone. Oh, oh, it's an Apple 2. All right, let's take a break. Well, I'd like to say it's getting good, but it's definitely not. So we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the.

[Brian Green]

Audio, video, and your free sticker.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show.

[Brian Green]

It's the best gift you could give.

[Chris Joy Ho]

A few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult. Now what it. You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back watching the rally la. It's TCB minus. Thanks for joining us. Case, you didn't know. We didn't do this live because we had some issues not going to go through all that again. We're going to get right back into the movie. Let me keep you up, let me get you up to speed just to give you, like, an idea of what we understand the movie to be about so far. Kenneth Copeland has a terrible accent, Eric Roberts has a terrible accent, and some lady is three hours late to work. And the daughter is a fastidious student who Is trying her best to be a good daughter.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And then Kenny just showed up after 20 years.

[Brian Green]

Yes, just showed up to the mother. So there's a girl named Christina. She's a teenager in high school. Her mom is Kenny Copeland's daughter, long lost daughter. Eric Roberts is Kenny Copeland's brother, who is a drug kingpin who is getting ready for a big shipment. So here go we. We go. LA is a cool city, I do got to say. Okay, now it's night time. Oh, more drug guys opening up a gate. I think this is the shipment, Chrissy. If I had to guess.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, in a bug.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. In the world's smallest car. Yes. Oh, it's the three guys from earlier. It's Marcos, Frankie.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, Frankie.

[Brian Green]

That's Frankie, the guy who was stealing the drugs.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Frankie's gonna get his.

[Brian Green]

Oh, is Frankie gonna get killed?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Something. He's gonna get tortured or something.

[Brian Green]

Okay, now they're in a big garage and Frankie, he has to sit down on a metal chair. Uh oh, here comes Eric Roberts. It's time for some murdering.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's nighttime. He's got his glasses, sunglasses on. Yes, His Dockers.

[Brian Green]

I love it. He's yacked out of his head. Probably. I wonder what the actual drugs budget was.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Probably a lot.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, he pulls his sunglasses down to.

[Brian Green]

Look at him over this.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Keep this very, very simple. You have taken something that belongs to me.

[Brian Green]

A huge bag of corn starch.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Soda.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You know, I appreciate guys like, like you who have an entrepreneurial vibe about you. Like Marcos here.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Vibe?

[Brian Green]

He's going some vibe.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

And I have no heir, so he is my heir apparent. Oh, he learning the business. She's grateful to learn the business.

[Brian Green]

He's grandfather. He doesn't sound very scary. He's like, I want an heir, so I got an heir apparent. He's learning the business. It's so much fun, Chrissy.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

And now I'm going to kill you by slicing off your penis. Your little Woo.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

But now until he's in charge, can you call her his own like everything else?

[Brian Green]

Let me go. I promise I'll keep everything clean. Except for me, cuz I like drugs.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Isn't that right, Marcos? Yes, sir. You see?

[Brian Green]

Oh, a gun.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. Marcos maybe should have pulled a gun on him earlier.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I agree. Oh, he's giving us a gun. Eric Roberts has given Marcos the gun. Marcos is going to have to kill Frankie, his friend.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Your hands are dirty now, Marco.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Good night, young man.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Good night, young man. Let's stop squabbling.

[Brian Green]

Let us not squabble. About small things. I'm going to shoot your right testicle off.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Marcus is going to chicken out.

[Brian Green]

Of course he is.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Or is he going to kill him? We.

[Brian Green]

No, he's a good guy.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He.

[Brian Green]

He loves the lord.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, said PG13 violence.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he shot him in the head.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He went straight for the head.

[Brian Green]

Wow.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay, Kenny, coping things are heating up.

[Brian Green]

Kenny's not afraid to have a movie with people who shoot each other in the head to get a point across that the Lord loves you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, wait, hold on. Okay, the landscapers are there. Miss Betty's next door with the two foot by two foot lawn. They're fixing the lawnmower.

[Brian Green]

There's some handyman fixing the lawnmower that was mowing the two foot by two foot lawn.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And then there's another guy doing landscaping.

[Brian Green]

To the right there.

[Chris Joy Ho]

All right, there's a lot of landscaping to be done in this little tiny yard. Not unlike your landscapers that were here earlier.

[Brian Green]

There's another handyman. They're all at the house. Yes. It looks like they're getting ready to go do TCB live streaming.

[Chris Joy Ho]

They're here at Brian's house.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Ma'.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Am.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Name's Joe.

[Brian Green]

As you can see, we're taking care.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Of the lawn and lock on your front door.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's a huge group of people taking care of lawns and locks.

[Brian Green]

That's right, Chrissy. I got a guy on the roof and two dudes installing cameras. And then I also left you about a million dollars in cash in the freezer. It's all from your papa.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

So I can fix the door.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay. All right. Who sent you?

[Brian Green]

All right. And exactly who are you? Yeah, I'd be like, get the away from my house.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Oh. Gentleman called Antonio Miguel Sard.

[Brian Green]

He wanted me to make sure I did his middle name.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Antonia Miguel Saka.

[Brian Green]

Antonio Miguel Santa.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Okay, right. I see he's trying to buy my love by landscaping and handymaning.

[Brian Green]

That's right. He's handymaning me. He's handymaning my love. Well, dad, you can handyman me all you want, but me and my daughter are not going to be a part of your life.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Well, only be about another 20 minutes.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Because your yard's so small. Yeah, it's not gonna take long.

[Brian Green]

Only about another 20 minutes. Cause this is a model home, and quite frankly, the walls are made of paper. I'm gonna text you on my Samsung generation one phone. Is this Miguel Santonio? Santa?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Hello? Sarka. Hey, it's me, Sally.

[Brian Green]

Sally.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That was a weird.

[Brian Green]

It's me, Sally. Sally. And Kenny's in his poke.

[Chris Joy Ho]

In his pajamas.

[Brian Green]

I often wear curtains. Yes. I often wear four layers to bed. Silk robe, you know.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, he's hanging with the kids.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Polka dog. Satin robe. Lucky if over your regular pajamas and then there's a T shirt underneath.

[Brian Green]

I'm lucky if I wear pajamas to bed. I wear my boxers. If I get my boxers on, I'm good.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

How are you?

[Brian Green]

I'm just here with my penis wingling.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Hello, Hello. Hello. Hello, Sally.

[Brian Green]

Buenos dias.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Welcome to the main stage.

[Brian Green]

I meant to tell you, your mom is not your real mom. She's actually your sister. And you, therefore, are not related to me.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Some men came and mowed my lawn and fixed that front door of mine.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Go on. Do you mind if we face talk? I've got my robe on. Tell me more about your mowed lawn and your front door.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I knew you'd seen it.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I just wanted to do some things for you, but I think it would be better if I was mowing.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I just sent my handyman.

[Brian Green]

I sent my handyman to mow your lawn.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

Do you want me to unclog your pipes?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, God. Well, see, I wanted you to know that I really appreciate it and I.

[Brian Green]

Actually do need the money. So if you wouldn't mind saying that this is ridiculous.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She is in a nice home. It's a nice model home, but it's a nice home. It's like a nice home. And she was so, like, distraught over her lawn and front door. She's very grateful now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's very grateful over the $15 job of fixing it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Also, she told the daughter to lock the door. Be sure and lock the door. Seemed like nothing was wr. Wrong with the door.

[Brian Green]

Well, remember, the door was shaky when the door. When the daughter tried to open it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I was a little shaky.

[Brian Green]

I guess there is a little continuity manager on set because I put two and two together there.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

My pleasure.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Well, we can maybe get that coffee. I have no idea why this is not available on streaming.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I can't imagine that Netflix would want to put this on.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Seems like a high.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Okay, sweetheart.

[Brian Green]

Okay, sweetheart. Going to get.

[Chris Joy Ho]

She's softened now. He's buying her. Buying her love through the lawn and handyman.

[Brian Green]

This is amazing. They're trying to make this big moral point. He comes in. She says, you're not gonna buy my love, you know? And he says, I'm sorry. I tried to. I didn't want to raise daughters. He sends a handyman over to put a screw in the front door. And she's like, wow. I guess we can get that coffee now. All better. All better. Sally.

[Chris Joy Ho]

So happy.

[Brian Green]

Grow a backbone. Thank God that screw is back in the front.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I know. And my lawn has been.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's not like the house was getting foreclosed on.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm saying it didn't seem like things were that bad.

[Brian Green]

No, they're not. Of course, if this house is really in la, it's a million and a half dollar house.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Is. Yes. She's like, yes.

[Brian Green]

She's like, yes. I can finally open the front door without a jiggle in the jiggle.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Who's that?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Why is that a door for small people?

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's a church door. It's like it's pointed at the top. It's strange.

[Brian Green]

I know. I don't know if anybody's ever had like an upstairs, like, attic door. Like the tiny little door that's open.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's what this is.

[Brian Green]

Can I help you?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'm here to see San Diego, please.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's in his.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't see people. I need to see San Diego, please. He doesn't see people. He doesn't see people unless they're naked. He's a freak.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'm Antonio Miguel Sarga.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Is that true?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I am Santiago Scarface.

[Brian Green]

I am amigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to d. Come in. Okay. Come in. Okay, no problem. Great security. He doesn't see anyone. My name is Miguel. Amigo Santiago. Antonio Roberto Sar. Okay, come on in.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Come on.

[Brian Green]

You convince me.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Come in. Plus, you've got the suit.

[Brian Green]

You can wait in there. You can wait in there.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Just don't hit your head. Yeah, come in.

[Brian Green]

Don't hit your head on this small door. Yes, bring. Your phone's ringing.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Thank you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

This model home. So funny.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chris Joy Ho]

They're using it for all scenes, by the way.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's the same home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Doubt.

[Brian Green]

When I was a kid.

[Chris Joy Ho]

My brother.

[Brian Green]

Break out the whiskey.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm picturing Tom Hanks on the the keyboard.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Please sit.

[Brian Green]

Sit down on these. Now sit down in these uncomfortably closed chairs. And let's knock knees together.

[Chris Joy Ho]

This fake fireplace. That's a terrible mantle.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

What brings you to Los Angeles? I came to see Los Angeles.

[Brian Green]

Los Angeles, Good.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I've not seen in a while, but I have my guy looking out for her.

[Brian Green]

And my guy stares at her through the window on occasion. We've got a ring doorbell in her closet. So I, I, I go on the app on Occasion. She's growing up nicely, I must say.

[Chris Joy Ho]

A beautiful woman.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Some private school.

[Brian Green]

And look, I don't get it up like I used to, but tight into a heart.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Harvard.

[Brian Green]

Harvard, Harvard.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Last I heard from you, you're going overseas for a while.

[Brian Green]

You're my brother. And last time I heard from you, you were what, going to China or something? I look after your daughter. You were where? I don't remember what she said.

[Chris Joy Ho]

They like nothing alike.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

To the house in Greece.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh. Oh, Greece. They're supposed to be from Greece.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Should have been there.

[Brian Green]

You should have been there. I was the only Mexican accented person in all of Greece.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I would.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I went to Greece for the past 20 years.

[Brian Green]

Who writes this garbly gook?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Oh my God is not.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I know. Eric. Raa. Rick. Raa. Excuse me.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You want a drink? Hey, bring us a drink.

[Brian Green]

Freddie, get us some of that water down. Don Julio.

[Chris Joy Ho]

They've been talking about the 50% agave.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, 50%. I want only 50% agave. Only the finest for my brother. Where did you go? What was your name?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

So, big brother, where are you staying? Center.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, the convention center.

[Brian Green]

The convention center?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Filming that?

[Brian Green]

Yes, over at the convention center. There's a tile conference in town. And.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You should stay here. We have plenty of room. Thank you, Shanti.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Plenty of room and unmarked bottles of booze.

[Brian Green]

Thank you, but I've got terrible wind and I like to whack off on my own.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's comfortable. I'm. I'm fine. Thank you, Teddy.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Eric's looking suave with his glasses, long hair.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

What is it?

[Chris Joy Ho]

You seem different, brother. I haven't seen you in 20 years.

[Brian Green]

Well, it's the breath of the Lord. If you. If you don't mind. I blew coronavirus away. I don't know if you know, but.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

We haven't seen each other for a long time. That's my fault.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I stayed in Greece.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Yeah, we are busy in. But I have come to know, brother, that we have. I have.

[Brian Green]

We have. Can I do that over again? No. Okay.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I have been busy doing all of the wrong things. Do you remember when we were young boys and we play war.

[Brian Green]

And I would kick you in the nuts and you would kick me back in the nuts with. Well, turns out I can't get anybody pregnant. So it's not actually my daughter. So I'm hoping you can take care of her. Well, I go do my tile thing over at the conventions.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I'm from Handmade Mosaics. Yes, from Greece.

[Brian Green]

I do all kinds of work. Bathroom Renovations, handyman, walk in tubs for older folks. You've seen the commercials on tv. I found the Lord and now I do walk in tubs door to door.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

And the other is. And we lead our men into great battles and we win great victories.

[Brian Green]

Eric Roberts, the venerable actor is probably like, why don't we just drop the ax?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Can we just not normally it's terrible.

[Brian Green]

He's going in and out of accents and I don't even know what they are. Italian, Greek, Mexican.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

But what do you think we were really doing?

[Brian Green]

Masturbating?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'm not sure. We were trying to live.

[Chris Joy Ho]

His aircraft got his watch like on the inside.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Her purpose, reason for being on this earth.

[Chris Joy Ho]

You, me, now we're hitting his meat potatoes of the tile convention and God.

[Brian Green]

Tile convention and God. He's going to try and convert his brother to God.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I built an empire. We have. Santi. I have given all of that up to follow Jesus.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. Exactly. The most honest line. Fluence.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

No more empire.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I gave it all away. That's right.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I came after the handyman that I sent him.

[Brian Green]

I took all my blood stained cash and I turned it into the Catholic church. And they said, ah, we don't know nothing. We don't know nothing.

[Chris Joy Ho]

The laundering and the tiles.

[Brian Green]

That's right, I'm laundering the tiles, Miles.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

So you're saying was that a thimble?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was a thimble. Yeah. A thimble of something. And I think it was real because of the way that he reacted to it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

He's like, I need something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He's like, oh, that's fire water.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I need something.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Everything you had, you gave up. Nothing left back home. Nothing.

[Brian Green]

Except for this million dooll suit, my 1994 Tahoe and the handyman that I send to my daugh. That's right.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

So he just gave it all.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And my security guy that came in with me, where is he?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And the two security guards actually, are they. Hey. He told him to wait here. He's probably murdered. He's been murdered.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's a little confusing.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Are you local?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You gave away everything you were for. Gave away your status. And you kept enough until you die to be with Jesus. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, you kept enough until you die.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you kept enough until you die. Well, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Sometimes you just got to keep a couple extra billion on the side.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Stash the billion.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And then I'm out.

[Brian Green]

Elon Musk is going to be the first trillionaire. Did you Hear that? He's going to be the first trillionaire. So just enough before you die, Elon.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Musk is all you need. Are you crazy?

[Brian Green]

Local do is loco.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I made a choice to follow Jesus.

[Chris Joy Ho]

After the billions.

[Brian Green]

That's right. After I made billions on dead people.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I have never felt so much pee in all of my life. He has truly blessed me. He's given me his grace.

[Brian Green]

I got away with all the murdering and the robbing, drug addiction, prostitution.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Like, get out at the casinos.

[Brian Green]

I'm going straight. That's right. I am now in the softcore pornography business.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And the tiles.

[Brian Green]

And the tiles. I actually. But they work together nicely. When you put in a tub insert, you make a. A soft penis. That's right. It's a picture of a vagina with a soft penis. And then you stuff some drugs behind it. You get it later. If you need cash, it's a bank.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

All I want to do now is help people. There is so much we can do. You, you, me. We can change this city.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Los Angeles.

[Brian Green]

Los Angeles.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

You know, God said.

[Brian Green]

God said in his holy moly guacamole.

[Chris Joy Ho]

God. He's pulling out his phone. What?

[Brian Green]

Oh, no.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It's all Bible before you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's not the full Bible lie. No, the remaded version. That's a tiny Bible.

[Brian Green]

That's. That's a Cliff Notes.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It's a tiny Bible.

[Brian Green]

Cliff Notes. Yeah. Dino.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Bible blessing.

[Brian Green]

You got to get it in that tiny door.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yes.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

And the cursing. Therefore, you choose a lie.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I haven't heard one person curse.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

No, something. You need to change what you are doing and start living for Jesus. Jeez.

[Brian Green]

That. Like a. I don't know, like a. What do they call that?

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's like an Eric Roberts Looks Skeptical.

[Brian Green]

It's like an on the border commercial. You need to change what you're doing and come to on the border, Big brother.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I am not a spiritual man by any means. But I know that what I am doing is not pleasing to you. To God. I know that's a fact. I cannot wake up tomorrow, start serving Jesus. Yes. No. That's what I did.

[Brian Green]

Hey, that's the one I did. I made a pizza pie. One day I'm a Mexican, and the next day I'm a. Then I become a Greek, and now I'm an Argentinian. Look at this. I'm Venezuelan. Tomorrow. Hey, that's all right. Hey, Shanti.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

He loves you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

That's what I did.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I'm in too deep. And to be honest with you, who.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Do you think's paying for these Model homes.

[Brian Green]

Who's paying for all this?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

People who look up to me. I have people who respect me. People in this town can't make a move without first my okay.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Do it.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I am a supplier for that people.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Do it.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Do it.

[Brian Green]

Starts with me. Do it with this.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

Fingers with me. And I like that. Want me to give that up? I don't think I'll be taking it off for the big brother. I have my own offering to give.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Boom.

[Brian Green]

I just. I just take that. And by the way, I just lost my accent for like five minutes. This is great.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

And the Lord will either accept it or reject it. I hear what you're saying.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah, he just lost it there, too. I hear what you're saying.

[Brian Green]

So he goes in and out of it. Yeah, he's even worse than Kenny.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

I think I have a few things to do before bed. Well, you think about it.

[Chris Joy Ho]

And if you need anything, think about.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

It, you know, you can call me.

[Brian Green]

See?

[Chris Joy Ho]

I mean, is that Ros. He's got like.

[Brian Green]

Ros. It's not something weird.

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

If I need my pillowcase change, I'll be sure to call your housekeeper at the hotel. Good night.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Pillowcase. What?

[Various Characters (in movie scenes)]

There is a curse on this city and Jesus is ready to break that curse.

[Brian Green]

And in my job to break that curse.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Oh, my God. Look in this eye.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, look in this eye. Now look in this eye. Oh, that's a lot to think about. Yeah. It's a stressful situation, Chris.

[Chris Joy Ho]

It is. Is. How am I going to button that back up on my shirt?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Now where do I get one of those cool polka dot silk robes?

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah. What happened with that? He was like in the robe and then he.

[Brian Green]

I know he's in the robe and he got in the suit and he came over. It's all a big mishmash hodgepodge, you know what I'm saying? All right, part one.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Yeah, we're.

[Chris Joy Ho]

We're afternoon here.

[Brian Green]

Friday afternoon into the evening. Friday afternoon into the evening here at the commercial break. All right, so part one is done. Stay tuned for part two. We will do our best to get that out asap. We don't know when.

[Chris Joy Ho]

We know you're waiting on baited breath.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we know you're waiting on bated breath, but can keep breathe. Yeah, breathe, breathe. We don't know when we're going to get the second part out, but thank you to everybody who has been writing in and calling in, texting in, emailing about the merch that you have already pre ordered. We certainly do appreciate it if you haven't had a chance. Shop tcb podcast.com that's shop tcbpodcast.com has hoodies, t shirts, university sweaters, and a free sticker with every purchase. We're really proud of this merch drop. If you can support us, great. If you can't, that's okay too. But I will tell you how you may be able to get a free piece of merch two ways. Number one, if you have once you get merch, wear it or do something with it. Take a picture, tag us.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Wash your car with it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, wash your car with it. Wipe your ass with it, whatever. Tag us at the commercial break on Instagram. Invite us to be a collaborator. We will share share that with other people. And then we're going to pick a few people who have purchased our merch and send off some additional free merch. If you cannot afford merch for any reason, let me know. 212-4333 TCB maybe I payment plan. Yeah, we got a payment plan. Maybe we've got a sticker. Maybe we have an extra T shirt laying around in an odd size or something like that. I don't want anybody to think that our love depends on whether or not you can purchase merch. We've all been there. From one broke jokesters to the other. We know all about it. So just call us, text us, whatever. 212-4333 TCB okay, this will be available if YouTube does not copyright claim it. If no one in Kenny Copeland's camp copyright claims it. This will be available on YouTube [e-mail] they commercial break. Also you can go to our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, all the video and always a free sticker. Go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address away it will go. And one more thing. At the commercial break on Instagram, tag us in the aforementioned pictures. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris Joy Ho]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time we will say, we do say say and we must say.

[Chris Joy Ho]

Yeah boy.