TCB TV (-) : The Rally LA! Part 1

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – Episode: TCB TV (-) : The Rally LA! Part 1

Date Released: August 10, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley
Podcast Description: The Commercial Break is an improv-comedy, interview, and variety podcast hosted by longtime friends Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley. Known for their chaotic and unpolished charm, they blend twisted humor with discussions on pop culture, internet oddities, relationship drama, and dark comedy. Each episode features celebrity guests, games, and candid responses to listener interactions, creating an irreverent and engaging experience.

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1. Introduction and Setup [00:00 – 01:02]

The episode begins with typical commercial segments for Chumba Casino and Designer Shoe Warehouse, setting the stage with brief sponsor messages. Shortly after, Chrissy introduces the main content of the episode: a review of the movie "Rally LA! Breaking the Curse."

Notable Quote:

• Chrissy Hoadley [01:02]:
  "Welcome to the very first TCB Minus where Chrissy and I break down an entire television show or movie streaming."

2. Technical Difficulties and Apologies [01:02 – 07:04]

Bryan and Chrissy encounter significant technical issues while attempting to stream the episode live. They humorously blame various mishaps, including landscapers, pool maintenance, and even a staph infection, which prevent them from presenting their review seamlessly.

Notable Quote:

• Chrissy Hoadley [07:04]:
  "Add that to a long laundry list of things that have just not gone our way. Oh my God."

3. Introduction to "Rally LA! Breaking the Curse" [07:05 – 17:02]

Chrissy introduces the movie they're about to review, providing a brief and sarcastic overview. They highlight the film's attempt to earn a faith-based seal despite containing objectionable content, questioning the sincerity of the reviewers and the movie’s integrity.

Notable Quote:

• Chrissy Hoadley [08:38]:
  "If you were one of the very few that was probably waiting to watch the stream, our apologies."

4. Watching the Movie: Initial Impressions [17:02 – 30:00]

The hosts dive into the movie, "Rally LA," mocking its disjointed plot, poor accents, and lackluster acting. They dissect early scenes set in Louisiana State Penitentiary, commenting on the absurdity of the setting and character behaviors.

Notable Quotes:

• Chrissy Hoadley [22:05]:
  "If they're brothers, why does one have a Mexican accent and the other one have a Slavic accent?"

• Chrissy Hoadley [28:33]:
  "I think they're in a house that's for sale because I used to rent my house out to movies."

5. Critical Analysis and Humorous Commentary [30:00 – 67:21]

Bryan and Chrissy continue watching and critique various aspects of the film, including character development, plot inconsistencies, and over-the-top acting. Their chemistry shines as they joke about the characters' motives, the implausible storyline, and the film's attempt at delivering a moral lesson through violence and religion.

Notable Quotes:

• Chrissy Hoadley [35:14]:
  "That's a lot of homework, bitch."

• Chrissy Hoadley [66:48]:
  "No, he's a good guy. He loves the Lord."

• Chrissy Hoadley [83:15]:
  "And I like that, Chrissy. I just take that."

6. Ongoing Mockery and Plot Breakdown [67:21 – 88:04]

The hosts continue their satirical breakdown of the movie, highlighting nonsensical plot points, such as characters switching accents, unrealistic dialogues, and the use of a model home for multiple scenes. They emphasize the film's failure to maintain continuity and its overreliance on cliched tropes.

Notable Quotes:

• Chrissy Hoadley [77:09]:
  "Who writes this garbly gook is not."

• Chrissy Hoadley [81:16]:
  "I got away with all the murdering and the robbing, drug addiction, prostitution."

7. Conclusion and Teaser for Part 2 [88:04 – 89:06]

As Part 1 of their review wraps up, Bryan and Chrissy summarize their frustrations with the film and hint at further analysis in the upcoming Part 2. Chrissy humorously highlights the ongoing technical issues and reiterates their plans to release the next installment when possible.

Notable Quote:

• Chrissy Hoadley [88:48]:
  "This is the most stressful situation, Chrissy."

8. Closing Remarks and Merch Promotion [89:06 – 94:24]

The episode concludes with Bryan and Chrissy promoting their exclusive limited-time merchandise available at shoptcbpodcast.com. They encourage listeners to purchase merch for free stickers, special offers, and the chance to support the show despite financial constraints.

Notable Quote:

• Chrissy Hoadley [91:12]:
  "I'll tell you that I love you."

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Key Takeaways:

• Humorous Critique: The episode is primarily a comedic and irreverent review of "Rally LA! Breaking the Curse," filled with sarcasm and witty banter.

• Host Chemistry: Bryan and Chrissy's dynamic is a highlight, showcasing their long-standing friendship and ability to turn a poor movie review into engaging entertainment.

• Technical Hiccups: Despite facing technical difficulties, the hosts maintain their comedic tone, turning setbacks into part of the show’s charm.

• Merchandise Promotion: Multiple segments promote their exclusive merchandise, encouraging listener support in a lighthearted manner.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Chrissy Hoadley [01:02]:
  "Welcome to the very first TCB Minus where Chrissy and I break down an entire television show or movie streaming."

• Chrissy Hoadley [07:04]:
  "Add that to a long laundry list of things that have just not gone our way. Oh my God."

• Chrissy Hoadley [22:05]:
  "If they're brothers, why does one have a Mexican accent and the other one have a Slavic accent?"

• Chrissy Hoadley [35:14]:
  "That's a lot of homework, bitch."

• Chrissy Hoadley [66:48]:
  "No, he's a good guy. He loves the Lord."

• Chrissy Hoadley [81:16]:
  "I got away with all the murdering and the robbing, drug addiction, prostitution."

• Chrissy Hoadley [89:12]:
  "I'll tell you that I love you."

---

Conclusion:

In this inaugural episode of "TCB Minus," Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley deliver a candid and humorous critique of "Rally LA! Breaking the Curse," highlighting the film's flaws through their unique comedic lens. Their ability to turn technical difficulties and a poorly executed movie into entertaining content underscores the podcast’s charm and appeal. Listeners can look forward to Part 2 for continued antics and deeper dives into the movie's shortcomings.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

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[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Unknown]

Foreign.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey there cats and kittens. I'm very excited to share this next episode of the Commercial Break, but I'm also very excited to share that you can go to shoptcbpodcast.com right now and pre order your exclusive limited time TCB merch. Hats, hoodies, T shirts and a free sticker with every single order. The window for the merch is only open until August 22nd, so. So if you want to rock our gear, you're gonna have to make a commitment. I know, I know. Procrastinators unite. I'm one of ya. But this is how it works and it's outta my hands. We think you're gonna like this merch. So go to shoptcbpodcast.com right now to pre order as many items as your little heart desires and get a free TCB sticker. Now I'm gonna stop mugging about our merch and go listen to myself. Listen to myself on this episode of the Commercial Break. So you've loved, you lost a had some life gives you lots of lacks but you're in your own way. You take the good and the bad but you don't ever win. That's because God hates you and you are full of sin. So grab your good book and roll in the family. It's time for TCB tv. That's right, TTCB tv. We love our TCB tv. We love our TCB tv. So you played by the rul. You did it all right but you're still in the basement and alone all night. You paid your dues, you've cleaned your room but your mom still makes lunch.

[Unknown]

And you sleep till noon.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So grab your pants and take a seat.

[Unknown]

Eat.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's time for tcb tv oh yeah, tc, cb tv we love our tcb tv we love our tcb TV.

[Unknown]

We.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Love our tcb TV turn on tcb TV gotta have tcb TV we love our tci TV we love our tcb TV we Love our tcb TV we love our TCB TV on this episode of the commercial break in the one and only review that I could find anywhere in the world about the movie the Rally Breaking the Curse, the reviewer who works for the faith and family focused review site dove.org awards the movie its coveted faith based seal, but warns the viewer that there is some objectionable content. However, that doesn't stop the reviewer from giving the seal because God will forgive anyone of their sins, all they have to do is ask. I'm not sure if Kenneth Copeland, Eric Roberts or Rick Reyna, the director and writer, have asked for forgiveness, but I really don't give a shit. Welcome to the very first TCB Minus where Chrissy and I break down an entire television show or movie streaming. And here on the podcast, however, we must have smited God because He did not allow us to stream this. We were plagued with technical issues and frustrations, a swarm of landscapers and pool men, evil beasts in the form of Yorkies, and the plague in the form of a nasty staph infection running around my house. All of these Satan based things came to attack us right as we were about to go live. So if you were one of the very few that was probably waiting to watch the stream, our apologies. We'll figure it out and get it right down the road. It's just about par for the course, but as promised, here's your bonus episode of TCB Minus and this is just Part one. Part two will come out next weekend and we'll have more fun at the expense of the terrible acting, atrocious directing and miserable story that is the Rally LA Breaking the Curse. Get your popcorn and refill your white claw kids. This one's going to be good. Without any further ADO's, the very first TCB minus. The next episode of the Commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Only one hour late, a day late and a dollar short.

[Unknown]

And best to you Brian, and best.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

To you out there in the podcast Univers Add that to a long laundry list of things that have just not gone our way. Oh my God.

[Unknown]

It's been a comedy of errors.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh man.

[Unknown]

I'll tell you what, know what to say.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This is our second time not watching.

[Unknown]

Because we didn't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Because we didn't quite press record on the first one after we couldn't get.

[Unknown]

The live to work. So we apologize to everyone, all 20.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

All seven of you who actually tried to log on Instagram. 20 people that liked it on Instagram. I know a couple people texted and I've already texted you back personally myself to let you know that because of the pool guy, the lawn guy, the dog, Astrid, the kids, the kids in the tub, my in laws yelling and screaming, all of it just kind of came together right at 4:58. And then the second we tried to go stream, we. We just lost it just blew up. We rebooted, we unplugged wires. You know, you know, I K Y N k D N k y. If you know, you do not know that Brian and Chrissy episode.

[Unknown]

I was laughing to myself so hard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was funny.

[Unknown]

This is an episode of something. Oh wait, it's our show. It's an episode of our show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, that's right. It's another episode of the commercial break. See, when we do just exactly what we always do, right? Everything goes fine.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Whenever we get into Scientology or Kenny Copeland, apparently things go sideways.

[Unknown]

It's also a full moon, I think, coming up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh yeah, the third moon in the second phase of Mars. Yeah. Mercury rising.

[Unknown]

Elon Starlink.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Or whatever. All the new age witches are going to come out on Instagram and tell us what's going on. Anyway. Elon Starlin Link. Messing with our head for sure. Okay. But here we are, bonus episode where TCB minus. We are here to with you to review, to break down the reaction video for Rally L. A. Now, in the first version of this that you didn't hear because it wasn't recorded, I told you what the movie was about via IMDb. Oh, I did that pretty good. That was my actual voice. But I'm not going to do that this time. You know, I'm going to say. I'm going to say that Kenneth Copeland is a reformed drug kingpin. His brother Eric Roberts is a non reformed drug kingpin still active. And Kenny Copeland is now trying to use the word of the Lord to slay his enemies on the streets. This movie is called Rally la. It's part two of a series of streaming nowhere. Streaming. Absolutely. That's. That's really why we believe this has not gone well is because I actually had to buy an external drive to play this DVD on the computer, then try and stream it through a television broadcasting software that just did not play nice from the beginning.

[Unknown]

And we tried to sheen it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, we tried to go to sheen, but it's. It only cost $22 and it melted when we got water on it.

[Unknown]

And Brian got a speeding ticket.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I got a speeding ticket to try.

[Unknown]

And get Best Buy and back. Quick, quick.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We are $600 in the hole on this episode and there is zero chance we're gonna make that back no matter how much merch we sell. If everyone who is supposed to stream bought merch, we would have just done better. Okay, shop tcb podcast.com. the pre order window is open now until the 22nd. So if you can, great. If you can't, wonderful. If I sound a little fussy, I am. I'm old. It's past my bedtime.

[Unknown]

At least I'm still drinking.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's true. Chrissy's got booze. All right? So if I sound a little fussy and she sounds a little drunk, it's because we are. All right, so let's not delay. Let's get into the rally la. I'm dropping this right in your slot on a Saturday afternoon.

[Unknown]

Sliding right in.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sliding right in your slot to slide into a slot. Let's go. Let's watch this movie. This is rally la. Starting from the beginning, kids. And we.

[Unknown]

There's Louisiana State. Set the scene.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Louisiana State Penitentiary, Angola, which is supposedly one of the worst prisons in the world. But it doesn't look that bad to me because this is not really Angola that they're filming in. But here we go. From the beginning.

[Unknown]

Is that a harp?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, it's a Spanish harp. Okay, now let me set the scene. Kenneth Copeland is, for some reason, sitting outside an elevator.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And two guards are bringing in a prisoner up the elevator. And he's just sitting at a desk right by the elevator. I don't know why.

[Unknown]

And Brian knows that's Kenneth Copeland because of the wave on the back of his.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know his quaffed toupee anywhere. I know that. Quaffed. Unless that is a stuff. Stunt head.

[Unknown]

Kenny doesn't do his own stunt.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Now look at the guards. They have absolutely nothing. They have no weapons of any kind out there. No.

[Unknown]

The one guy had like a stick, like a waffle for a blind person.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, he did?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, well, you know, they paid Eric Roberts all the money, so they don't have any prop budget.

[Unknown]

Prisoner's sitting down. He's Latino with a. Like a braid?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, he's. Actually, I don't think he's Latino. I just think he's extra tan.

[Unknown]

Okay. Okay. He's meant to be Latino.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Everyone's meant to be Latino, but they all have Italian accents. It's kind of weird, but okay.

[Eric Roberts]

That's why I'm here, boy. That's why I'm here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But that's why I'm here, boy. That's why I'm here.

[Eric Roberts]

Kenny, do you believe that God raised Jesus from the dead?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Eric Roberts]

Bob, you believe that with all your heart?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Unknown]

I still don't get this part. And this is the sec. Third. Fourth time.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Seventh time we've watched this. Yeah.

[Unknown]

But is that his real dad? His papa? Or is that. Is that he's just like a. You know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Good question. No, I think it's his real dad because of what happens later. I think it's his real dad, but I'll explain.

[Unknown]

They look nothing alike.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, they look nothing alike.

[Eric Roberts]

From this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Copeland is not a Spanish name. I'm just throwing that out there. I'm sure of it.

[Unknown]

Goblandia.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Goblandia.

[Eric Roberts]

Stay forward from this state. Forward. I am a believer.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I am a believer.

[Eric Roberts]

I am a man of God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I am a man of God.

[Eric Roberts]

I'm a Christian and I don't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I have terrible gas.

[Unknown]

He's kind of cross eyed, isn't he?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He is, yeah. Kenny's. He's kind of cross eyed. He's so cross. Something.

[Eric Roberts]

I don't care who knows about it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't care who knows about it.

[Eric Roberts]

I pray this prayer. I PR this prayer in the name of Jesus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Which prayer is. I'm Christian and I don't care who knows about it.

[Unknown]

That was Moses 3:17.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ezekiel 32, 45.

[Eric Roberts]

Amen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Amen. I laugh at you, Daddy.

[Unknown]

The guy is laughing. I mean, his eyes are laughing. His mouth isn't, but his eyes are.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. He's even got a smirk at his mouth. This guy is like, what did my agent get me into?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So there you go. Kenny and his son sit down at Angola State Penitentiary, which, by the way, is in Louisiana. And then they're in LA for some reason. Okay, now I'm gonna fast forward through this part because no one cares. Yeah. No one cares about this.

[Unknown]

It's between. Just to give you a recap. It's between the driver. The driver pulls up in an infinity 19. Infinity SUV. Golf.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. So now we're Going through the beginning of the movie.

[Unknown]

Kenny up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. No, I'm not going to skip through that part. Oh, yeah, I should skip through that part. No worries.

[Unknown]

Well, the driver.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, here's the driver. The driver's Rick Raina. Okay. I'm going to skip through the part where they're talking about all the people that are in the movie. Who cares about.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric Roberts]

It's a good day.

[Unknown]

Yes, it's a good day.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, man. It's a good day. Now let's go to the strip club and bang some hookers. Y.

[Eric Roberts]

Can you do something for me?

[Unknown]

His accent is so terrible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Can you do something for me? Can you get me a little toot Toot? Snoot. Sn A little tasty.

[Unknown]

Tina, can you call D?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Do you have any extra Viagra? The little blue pills make your penis hard for the Lord.

[Unknown]

He's wearing his white patent shoes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

White patent shoe. Kenny Copeland is. They're standing outside Angola State Penitentiary with his driver, played by Rick Rayna, the director of this movie. And he's just announcing that his son has been saved by the Lord.

[Unknown]

Good news. Thank the Lord.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Good news. Love.

[Eric Roberts]

Your family.

[Unknown]

Amen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, sir.

[Eric Roberts]

Don't lose your gym.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's pointing to the prison as if. Where did my kids go? I lost that damn kid again. Where is he? Angola State Penitentiary.

[Unknown]

Did he say, don't lose your children?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He said, don't lose your children. That's what he said.

[Unknown]

Good advice. That is good advice, Brian.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey. Hey. Guilty.

[Unknown]

You've got 30.

[Eric Roberts]

There is something that I must do. I should have done 20 years ago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Taking a shit prostate exam.

[Unknown]

Yes. We were in the same direction.

[Eric Roberts]

I'm going to be away for a while.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Can you get me my cola guard box. I'm going to be away for a while.

[Eric Roberts]

Amen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Amen. Did he say amen?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Amen.

[Eric Roberts]

Take me away.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I hate people who say amen like as if they've just prayed something.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Take me home, Kelgan. Take me away.

[Unknown]

It really is like. What? That's no. That's no. Uber black.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's a 1992 Tahoe.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's got this D rack on top off.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's got dealer plates on the back.

[Unknown]

Of course it does. Here we go. Now we're getting to the meat of things.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now we get into the meat and potato of the movie.

[Unknown]

Amen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Amen for the Lord. Okay, now we're at a house. There's a nondescript white man walking up to the door. Hey, Paul. Hey, Paul. Here's These pornos you were looking for. Thanks.

[Eric Roberts]

See you on Monday.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

See you on Monday.

[Eric Roberts]

Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations on your reelection.

[Unknown]

So now he's political now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And page number 33, there's a great ass shot I just jizzed.

[Unknown]

Why did they have the church door?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, boys, because it's all. It's, I don't know, symbology.

[Unknown]

Also, let's set the stage that they're in my parents house back in the 90s. It's a open with the. The dining room table from Haverty's and the overstuffed chairs. That was a set. Yes, that came together, including those pictures in the back.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think you're right about this. I think they literally rented this from Haverty's. And they're probably in a house that's for sale because I used to rent my house out to movies. For sale. My house was for sale. And so anyway, it's a mixed group of people just sitting at a men at a table, some dressed in T shirts. One guy in a penguin suit, one black guy, five white guys.

[Unknown]

Aha. There's a guy in suspenders.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Let's get to it. I got somewhere to be. Okay, when the shipment gets in, we'll split it into three smaller loads. When's it get in?

[Unknown]

He said load.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He said loads. He said loads. I'll let you know. Wait, you mean to tell me you were not tracking our drugs? Damn it. That's important information. He seems like police.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he seems like police.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He is police. Listen, I told you, I'll be in charge of the tracking of the drugs. And I'm not tracking the drugs.

[Unknown]

He's got the military cut. But everybody else is bald.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, everyone else is bald. That's the. That's the look. That's the look of drug cartel, Chrissy. Well, look at me.

[Unknown]

I know. I see.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Eric Roberts]

Remember, the second shipment will come up to here. That's the one we need stopped.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The other two can move.

[Unknown]

Stop that shipment.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Stop that shipment that my boys ready when he comes. And that makes for a great news story, gentlemen. And Robert will have yet another accolade.

[Eric Roberts]

All for my city.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

All right, now look.

[Unknown]

Is he the mayor?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. And that's when Todd does his press conference in his women's panties. Shipments will move through first into Las Vegas, second up to Chicago.

[Unknown]

That's hilarious. They have a map laid out on the table on this dark wood 1990s table. And he's pointing to one part of the map. That's just a map of Chicago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It looks like yeah, or it doesn't even look like. It might be a map of Chicago. It's probably a map of a township. And he points to one and he says, las Vegas. And then he takes his finger and he goes up two inches and he goes, chicago. Because Chicago and Vegas are right next to her.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they're close.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Don't worry, Paul. This is definitely a model for sure. I don't need the money. Right.

[Unknown]

Your second term secured in the picture. Now we see Eric Roberts step up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

With his cigarette vape pen. I've never seen a vape that looks like an actual cigarette. I mean, I know they exist, but that's just a weird thing.

[Unknown]

He's got his wine. Glass of sherry, gentlemen. Swirly.

[Eric Roberts]

It's funny how we grumble over such trivial things.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Trivial things like where your drugs are.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah. When's the shipment coming in? That seems like important stuff, not trivial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Which city it happens to be in. It's funny.

[Unknown]

Las Vegas, Chicago. Who cares? Why are we growing?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Why are we quibbling? We've got more important things to worry about, like candy.

[Eric Roberts]

Life's about so much more, don't you think? As kids, we think the world is ours. Our parents struggle, but with the kids, we don't see the struggle. We live our lives.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If they're brothers, why does one have a Mexican accent and the other one have a Slavic accent? I don't know.

[Unknown]

They've got a bunch of bottles, just undescript bottles, no name bottles, by the way.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And if you look at all the different shots that they're taking, like from one side, side. All the bottles are always in the same. In a different shot, they're moving the bottles around the table. But I don't get what. Why the two brothers have different.

[Unknown]

Who are the brothers that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Kenny Copeland and him are brothers in the movie Eric Roberts.

[Unknown]

They don't really have accents, but it's true.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They're fading in and out as if for.

[Eric Roberts]

That's an amusement park. Running from right to right, stepping on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The face of the camera.

[Unknown]

Eric's really gone into it. He's gone Stanislavski method or whatever.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, you can tell that he's like. He.

[Unknown]

The method act.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's method acting here. He's gone on the streets. He's done a lot of blow, which.

[Unknown]

I think is true.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, Eric Roberts. Oh, God, look at him.

[Eric Roberts]

Our candy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Is drugs. Because I like. Because every kingpin calls their drugs drugs.

[Eric Roberts]

It's our source. People need it like kids need the candy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's unsourced.

[Unknown]

I'M not sure what that means.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know. But I think drugs are sourced. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they are.

[Unknown]

Somewhere.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Somewhere struggle.

[Eric Roberts]

Not in this room. Now, one man here wants for anything. Am I right?

[Unknown]

Nest behind his head.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's got a mirror. Yeah, I think my mom used to sell country. What is it called? Country Crockett or something? Country crack. Country Crockett, I think is what it was called.

[Unknown]

Mirror with the nest around it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Handcrafted, of course.

[Unknown]

Jeff hates wreaths.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I hate them.

[Unknown]

Jeff hates them. Why do you put one on the door?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Christmas. Christmas.

[Unknown]

He allows it for Christmas.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Don't put the dead tree branch wreaths around my house. It reminds me of the bird nest I had hanging outside. Once time we've kept even our great.

[Eric Roberts]

Men, Paul from questioning.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Paul.

[Unknown]

Our great man Paul from questioning. I thought he said a great. We kept great menopause.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, we've kept a menopause from questioning.

[Eric Roberts]

Just enough to keep them coming back to the hand that feeds them. Wise, huh?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wise, huh? Since I. I made the decision up. Whatever I just said, I made it all up or my name isn't Eric.

[Eric Roberts]

You boys finish up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Your boys finish up.

[Unknown]

Finish up with your grobling.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't need to hear about the unimportant details about our drugs. Stuff like where's it at? How much are we selling it for? When's it going to be here?

[Unknown]

Those are unimportant.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I will be somewhere else, talking with my brother, the reformed preacher, Ricardo Montevan.

[Eric Roberts]

Don't mess this up. I sense something happening.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, he's got an intuition.

[Eric Roberts]

The winds are changing. We need to be watchful.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The winds are changing. As a matter of fact, I just farted. I'm going to crop dust you and leave you. Leave you to sort it out. Thank you.

[Unknown]

There's not a working toilet in this house.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, this model home. This is a model home. The toilets don't go anywhere. Paul, let me give you a side hug. By the way, a man giving another.

[Unknown]

Man a side hug, it's weird.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Been there, done that. But also let me tell you that my sport jacket is still sewn in the back.

[Unknown]

You know, when you get a sports return it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's true, they do. But when you get a jacket as a man, the tail is sewn. It's got two little pieces of thread so that they're easier to make your ass. Yeah.

[Eric Roberts]

Good to see you.

[Unknown]

Yeah. It hasn't been cut because it needs to be returned.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, well, it doesn't fit anyways. It's an ill fitting.

[Unknown]

Well, he's wearing blue pants.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's wearing blue jeans.

[Unknown]

No, I think they're just blue pants. Chino pant.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's weird.

[Unknown]

And they're a blue chino. And then the gray sport jacket with the elbow pads.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Nothing like elbow pads.

[Unknown]

And a straight up to the neck. Red.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's something straight out of drug cartel casting. Elbow pads.

[Unknown]

Just go black suit, go tux like the other day.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, now we're at the high school.

[Unknown]

Okay. Middle school. High school.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

High school.

[Unknown]

Okay. Kids milling around the hall.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That be Chris.

[Unknown]

I've seen him looking at you before. I don't even know his name.

[Brian Green]

It's Jake or something like that.

[Unknown]

I don't have time for that anyway. School. Okay, well look, someone will call.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't have time for all that. School.

[Brian Green]

Or send you a letter.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm talking exactly like a teenager would.

[Unknown]

That's what everybody says. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Between 1861 and 1865, the Civil War occurred. Now some of America's greatest piece. Does he have pubic hair at the front of his head? I'm just. I just wonder. It's a tough.

[Unknown]

It's a tough.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's a poufon of literature. Were actually inspired by the war. Many of the writers just let you know. Now we're in a classroom. The girl who we've been introduced to via the hallway where she said she doesn't have time for boys at school. So the time we're actually is in the classroom or they were just understandably very interested. Today we're gonna be discussing Stephen Crane's Red Badge of courage. Now you should have completed your first reading session.

[Unknown]

He's got a TV guide, but I'm gonna be giving you some back.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, you're right about that. He does that.

[Unknown]

He's like, I wanna watch this show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. He's like, what time does Wheel come on? Ground information on Crane himself. Now do take notes because this is going. Let not your focus be divided.

[Unknown]

He's leaving the sticky note.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, but look at her. She's actually taking a test.

[Unknown]

No. And she's taking notes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Why wouldn't you? So this girl's.

[Unknown]

She doesn't look like her focus is off.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. He's trying to get in bed with her on your final exam coming up. Crane was actually born six years after the Civil war ended. Okay. Now the girl is walking across the street. We're assuming to her there's a lady next door to her who's got a big push broom. Who's cleaning the already cleaned sidewalk. Yeah.

[Unknown]

You know those. You use those.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And as I pointed out now, three times, because we've watched this three times, these houses are. They're cluster homes. So they're sitting right on top of each other. And the lady has a lawn that is no bigger than the size of a lawnmower, yet she has a lawnmower.

[Unknown]

Just sitting out there. Chris, come over real quick. Quick. Your lawn's looking really nice, Miss Betty. Thanks.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Thanks, Betty. Thanks. Have you ever heard of the skincare line Starbeam? I've got some extra boxes at home, and I think you'd be really good at selling it.

[Unknown]

Lots of work and patience.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Everything going good in school?

[Unknown]

Yeah, just busy homework and finals.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Have you ever thought about dropping out of school to sell Starbeam skincare products?

[Brian Green]

And Hashem?

[Unknown]

No. She's working a lot. I know. It's tough. I admire.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Can you tell her to return my rabbit?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'm retired.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I'm retired. She's doing her best. Have you been watching Fox News lately? Your mom's an immigrant. ICE is coming to raid your house.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Well, I gotta go, so I'll see you later. Go on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sweet one.

[Unknown]

Sweet one.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sweet one.

[Unknown]

So, like, sweet Leaf Ozzy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Unknown]

A Chris.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, Chris, have you ever thought about sleeping with women? Because I grew up in the 60s and I could talk about it.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Kenny, meanwhile, is weirdly singing a car.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Across the street watching a light Escalade. Yeah, well, maybe he's trying to, like she's the drug pusher for the high school. Remember? I'm just a phone call away.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And Chris. And Chris come over anytime, day or.

[Unknown]

Night, no matter what the time it is. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And Chris and. And Chris. Chris.

[Unknown]

No matter what time it is. Oh, the. The gardening woman looked at Kenny.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, she looked at Kenny because she knows he's sitting there. That's why. She's got. She's got an intuition. Something's going on. All right, let's take our first break. We'll be back with the rally la shop tcb podcast.com our merch window is now open, and if you can support the show in that manner, we certainly would appreciate it. Make sure you tag us on Instagram at the commercial break with your merch gear on because we're going to give some additional merch to one or two merch on merch. Merch on merch on merch. Just unlucky, folks. And remember, you get a free sticker with every single purchase. We'll be back. Hey, you. Something about a TCB logo on a university sweater gets me hot in the pocket, if you know what I mean. What do you say we finish our drinks, go find a computer, go to shit. Shoptcbpodcast.com because I know they're selling some slinky gear, but only until August 22nd. And hey, a little vibrating rabbit told me that you get a free TCB sticker with every single purchase. There's nothing slinkier than a body draped in commercial brake gear. Piggy Frontin Indeed. Hey, one more idea. When that gear gets dropped off at your front door, let's take everything else off. We'll put our smoking hot merch on. We'll take a picture. Picture and tag. Hecommercial break. Cause Daddy loves a free thing or two and I hear they might give away some additional merch. Well this is a game of ball in the pocket that I've been wanting to play all night long. Shoptcbpodcast.com but only till August 22nd. Now do me a favor, put your credit card down for the bar tab because they don't take dogecoin here. Then I'm a little short on the long scratch. Bye now. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites. Indeed sponsored Jobs help you stand out and hire fast. With sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster and it makes a huge difference. According to Indeed data, Sponsored Jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Plus with Indeed sponsored Jobs, there are no monthly subscriptions, no long term contracts, and you only pay for results. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more [e-mail] listen just go to indeed.com listen right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com listen. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.

[Brian Green]

Hello, it's Lena Dunham. I host a podcast called the C.

[Unknown]

Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

[Brian Green]

What is up? It's a chat show about women whose.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Society is called Crazy.

[Brian Green]

We're going to be rediscovering the stories.

[Unknown]

Of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad or just plain bad. Listen.

[Brian Green]

Listen to and follow the C Word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett. Available now wherever you get your podcasts ready to level Up. Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary. Enjoy hundreds of online social games like blackjack, slots and Solitaire, anytime, anywhere. With fresh releases every week. Whether you are at home or on the go. Let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you. Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus. Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Plate chump a casino today. No purchase necessary. VGW group void were prohibited by law. 21 plus TNCs apply.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, and we're back with Kenny Copeland rally LA. He's sitting outside some young girl's house. And so far all we've learned is that Eric Roberts has a shipment of drugs coming in. And Kenny Copeland has now converted his son, who's in the Angola State Penitentiary, to the word of the Lord. But now, Kenny, he is creeping on some teenage girl. And we don't know why. Let's find out.

[Unknown]

Hey, Mom. Smells good in here. Hey, baby. Hey. Do you need help with this? She's not cooking anything.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, she's not cooking anything. No, she's making chips and salsa. Look at that. Smells good in here. Is that new salsa from Tostitos?

[Unknown]

Good. Okay. How was school? Same as always. Chopping?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, she's just chopping some carrots. Like that doesn't make it smell. How. How's school?

[Unknown]

Have any homework? Yes, I have calculus. I have history paper due and some other things. That's a lot of homework.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's a lot of homework, bitch.

[Unknown]

More, Chris.

[Brian Green]

It's a lot, but it's okay.

[Unknown]

I can handle it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can handle it. I'm ocd.

[Unknown]

Do you need my help? No. Are you sure? Yes, Mom. Good. Cause I can't do calculus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Okay, good. Cause Mommy's gotta go sell drugs for your uncle.

[Unknown]

Do you work tonight? Yeah, I do. Mom, it's been like 10 days since he had a day off. Honey, I know, but Mary is busy right now with a lot of other things. And I need to pick up the extra load right now. It's not fair.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But, but. Shut up, bitch.

[Unknown]

Here. Chris, listen to me. This is what I have to do. Mary is the boss and could get a promotion. I can get a job. I can help with the bills.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The bills? What is a beal?

[Unknown]

I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What is a beal?

[Unknown]

You're not getting a job. Do you hear me? You've got calculus and a history paper.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You've got calculus.

[Unknown]

She's waiting for you outside.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, and dad and Mommy wants you to get on one of those dating apps. Stop being such a prude.

[Unknown]

That's why I have three jobs. So you can go to school and get an education. That's what I want for you. Okay. Okay. Your education is the most important thing. That is true, kids.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That is true, kids. The education is the most important thing. Says the man.

[Unknown]

Okay. Okay. Now please get the mail. Yes, please get the mail.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now. Get the mail. Get the mail. What do we do?

[Unknown]

You should have gotten it when she.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. Why didn't she just get it when she came in?

[Unknown]

Well, because next door, nosy neighbor.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, nosy neighbor won't leave her alone. Kenny's out there creeping on her.

[Unknown]

Yeah, she wanted to get in quick. I get it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, listen, me too.

[Unknown]

Now get out there and get the mail.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If Kenny's not trying to make himself known, he's sitting literally across the street. Good stakeout.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he's the most. Oh, look at him.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Look. Yeah, he's like, on the steering wheel looking at her. I love teenagers.

[Unknown]

He had a driver before. Now he's driving himself.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He killed the guy. He killed Rick Radar. No. I don't know. Mom.

[Eric Roberts]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's gonna be okay. You're right, baby.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Come here, baby.

[Unknown]

Such a good girl.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I got the mail.

[Unknown]

Such a good girl right now. But they are gonna get better and better and better and better. Okay? Okay. What's gonna get better?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, it's life, Chrissy. Life's gonna get better and better and better.

[Unknown]

Okay. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, she's in her room studying now. Christina.

[Unknown]

Chris, Listen to a little rap. Hey. Hey.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Are you listening to the devil's music?

[Unknown]

Mom, I'm not nine years old. I don't care. That's still too loud.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I want to tell you about protection.

[Unknown]

Not much. I won't be up too late. All right, well, I'm gonna be leaving for work soon. You gonna be all right? Yes, I'll be okay. Don't worry. All right, well, just make sure that you lock the doors before you go to bed. And if you need anything. I know Miss Betty. She's next door. Did I miss.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, Miss Betty.

[Unknown]

All right, well, I love you. I love you. Okay. Good job. You've done them all wrong.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think we're watching the director's cut because a lot of this seems really unnecessary to the plot of the story. Yeah, I thought she had to go to work. She's taking a nap.

[Unknown]

She's gonna take a drug.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh, no. She's gonna take. Lay down.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Little nap.

[Unknown]

Oh, God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Goodness. Oh, goodness.

[Unknown]

Yeah, she's about to leave for work.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, fuck work. Just five minutes. Just five.

[Unknown]

She's exhausted from cutting those carrots.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's been a long day of cutting carrots. Those carrots that smell so good.

[Unknown]

Uh oh. 4:45.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

4:45. She slept for an hour.

[Unknown]

Uh oh, late. That feeling's the worst feeling.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is the worst feeling. But my body doesn't let me do that anymore. I'd like some internal weird claw. I bet that if I say I have to be up by something, my body will wake me up automatically. I hate it.

[Unknown]

Oh, not feeling well.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's probably all the drugs she's been taking. I just need a little drugs to get through.

[Unknown]

Yep, yep, yep. She's digging in there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, nothing like taking some nightquil, some Zyrtec to keep you up. She's literally taking a pill from a box.

[Unknown]

Yeah, like an allergy pill.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Could be a heartburn medication.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Could be.

[Unknown]

That's the first thing I do if I'm late. Just hang out in the bathroom.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, me too. I hang out in the bathroom, I take a zh, wait for it to kick in and then look at myself in the mirror.

[Unknown]

What am I doing with my life?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can get through the night if I've got a Zyrtec, but I stay away from Allegra. That will you up? I don't you up, Chrissy. Uhoh. Two drug guys are in the diner now we're here at a diner and two drug guys just walked in. How do I know they're drug guys? Because they're wearing all black.

[Unknown]

Nothing like a whiteboard too in the background.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. Cup of coffee.

[Unknown]

Cup of coffee.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's it. I didn't even say hello to you. You just said cup of coffee.

[Unknown]

You.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Same.

[Eric Roberts]

Cup of coffee.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Where's she at?

[Unknown]

She's in the back. Where's she at?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, back there. Anyway.

[Unknown]

Looking for some girl. Could it be the mother?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Probably. That's what I think. I think the mother is selling drugs on the side.

[Unknown]

Now they're going to the back of a dressing room.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. How did they go from a restaurant to the. To a Asian spa? How did that happen? That was weird. Hey baby.

[Unknown]

Hi.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How you doing?

[Unknown]

I'm fine.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay. I said I was fine.

[Unknown]

That's not the mom.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, it's not the mom. It's. It's one of the drug guys. Girlfriends? No. What is it? It's the Lord. I haven't kept up with my Bible studies and I'm feeling shitty, Frankie.

[Unknown]

Okay?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You know how he is.

[Unknown]

He's at it again, Frankie. No, hang on. I just. They're literally in a. In a dressing room.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How can we go away? This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. They were in a diner and now they're in a spa or a dressing room.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's lavender colored paint on the wall. There's the dressing rooms.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I didn't know a diner. I didn't know the diner was that big when I saw it at first.

[Unknown]

She's in the back.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's in the back with Frankie. You know how he.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You mean like on a vacation?

[Unknown]

No, I don't mean a vacation. I mean someplace permanent.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You know, we can't leave. It's not that easy. This is my life.

[Eric Roberts]

This is what I do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm a drug. I'm a drug guy, Chrissy. I can't just get out. All the drug things keep me here. Well, I don't like this life for us, Marcos. For working for him. It's okay. It's okay. We can get through this. First of all, my name is Amara, Marcos. It's Todd. Let's see if I can get some time off.

[Unknown]

Time off?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. I'll ask the drug guy if I can have some time off from all the drug things.

[Unknown]

I've got some PTO I have not used.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

By law, he has to give me paternity leave.

[Unknown]

Osha.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Osha.

[Unknown]

I just, I, I, I just, I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I feel like I'm losing it here.

[Unknown]

One day when I walk in there, it's like a restaurant. When I walk back here, it's like a dressing room.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm in a diner. One minute I'm in an Asian spa giving hand shandies to Ricky.

[Unknown]

Frankie.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. One day you're Marcos, the next day you're Todd. I can't even figure it out. Okay, it's okay. Look, I'll go in and I'll talk to Frankie. Maybe that'll ease things up.

[Unknown]

He's in dressing room number two.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Be right back. Let me go into the holiday in office. He's going to turn the corner, and we're going to be back at the elevator scene from the beginning.

[Unknown]

Yes. Going out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And by the way, what's so bad about working in the diner? I didn't know it was diner Sl.

[Unknown]

Dressing room.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh. We're in a warehouse. This is the never ending building. Yeah. Yes. La Petite Cafe. What's up, Margo? What are these drugs? Because it looks like baking soda, by the way. Now they're in A warehouse. There's a guy with a headphones on, and he just picked up a bag of what clearly is not drugs. If you've ever done drugs.

[Unknown]

It kind of looked like one of those things that my housekeepers leave. When they leave, they do, like, a little rose with the toilet paper.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A potpourri. Oh, no. Rose of the toilet paper. Oh. Oh, yours does that?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What's Noemi up to? Good to talk to her. Look, man, look, production is low. Production's low. So I've been doing a lot of our own stash just to keep it up. Why is it so low, Frankie? We're still waiting on a new shipment to come in. We don't just make one thing in here, man.

[Eric Roberts]

Come on, bro.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You know, things have been tight. Few ladies out sick, so they're not coming in. It's a few of the ladies are out sick, Chrissy. I told them to stay out.

[Eric Roberts]

Call them.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Call them now.

[Eric Roberts]

Get them in here now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I told April, and April is not to be told what to do. She's watching over this operation for me. So anything she says to you, I want you to treat it like I'm standing right in front of you. Got that?

[Unknown]

Like I'm your theater director in this theater.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What are these bags, Frankie?

[Unknown]

It's my cafe.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What are these bags full of white stuff? Is that drugs? Are we doing a drug operation with actual drugs, Frankie?

[Unknown]

I love that he's got a Big Gulp.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Uh oh, he's taking a. Uh oh. Oh, he's gonna find the extra stash. It's just my jacket.

[Unknown]

What's this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What's this? Extra drugs in the drug house? Frankie.

[Unknown]

Look at this. The fork. The plastic fork That's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's stuck in the container. Also, look at the candles in the background. Lit up.

[Unknown]

I know. And the Big Gulp. None of it makes sense.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, this is awesome. 1, 2, 3. Have you been learning how to count again, Frankie?

[Unknown]

No. Hidden drugs.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's stealing drugs.

[Unknown]

That's a lot. That's, like, way more than an eight. Yeah, like, those are, like, three eight balls.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If you're gonna steal from the drug kingpin, steal, like, three. Not, like, 30. Well, it looks like you're taking a slice for yourself. Hell, Frankie, are you cutting me? No, Marco, really, I'm not.

[Unknown]

Are you cutting me?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Are you cutting me, Frankie? Are you cutting down the side? Are you using your extra. Your own baking soda, Frankie? No.

[Unknown]

Well, he's got to pay for those CVS head beats.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, the beat he's got those fake beats on. Yeah, who do you think's paying the candle bill around here, Mar? You made me mad. Frankie. Frankie, you made me mad.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Unknown]

As your kids would say, uh. Oh.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Frankie's 10% discount on diner sandwiches. Gone. You made me mad.

[Unknown]

And no more free use in the dressing rooms.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. And no more use in the dressing rooms or the warehouse.

[Unknown]

Oh, man.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. That's what I do after I get busted taking drugs from the kingpin. Just go back to what I was doing.

[Unknown]

Yeah. No consequences. He's just made him mad.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. By the way, look at where the. The fake beats are plugged in. Into the styrofoam.

[Unknown]

Into the styrofoam with the fork.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Tune in Tokyo. We should do away every day.

[Unknown]

Okay. Kenning. Still. Okay, we're back to the street. Kenny's still scoping things. Oh, he's walking to the door.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Walking to the door of the young lady. Christina. I bet it's his granddaughter.

[Unknown]

What's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know. Did he even ring the doorbell? Okay, there we go. Good job. He changed clothes.

[Unknown]

He did. He's got a checked suit on now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We should open way every day.

[Unknown]

Oh, Chris, open the door. Oh, the mother. I thought she was going to work. I thought she was late for work too.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Too.

[Eric Roberts]

It's me.

[Unknown]

It's me, Papa.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's me. Papa. Papa. That's not how they say it.

[Unknown]

She was late for work an hour ago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But papa is here. Oh, my goodness.

[Eric Roberts]

Sweet.

[Unknown]

Hard.

[Eric Roberts]

I just came by to see you. I hope it's okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

See, I wanted to tell you.

[Unknown]

Kenny's eyes go like that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. They. They crisscross and they're devilish. They. He's. He looks like a Cheshire cat. I wanted to tell you I'm out of the dogs business now.

[Unknown]

I can't believe it's you.

[Eric Roberts]

I know. It's been a long, long time.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've had a lot of botox. A long time.

[Unknown]

Oh, I would say so. 20 years. 20?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hold on.

[Unknown]

Kenny was a young man bumping around.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I realize that even 20 years is a long time. But you don't think you'd notice your dad after 20 years. Who are you? Yes, can I help you?

[Eric Roberts]

I also know that this is a big surprise for you. Yeah, I would say so.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I would say so. Now, if you excuse me, I've got to get back to my Claritin addiction.

[Eric Roberts]

Sally, please.

[Unknown]

I'm trying my way.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Please, I got to take a hot shit. Can I use your pretend toilet maybe.

[Eric Roberts]

To have some coffee for this old man?

[Unknown]

You haven't written. I haven't heard from you since I was coffee. And you come to my house and you want coffee?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, I'll take drugs if you've got drugs.

[Eric Roberts]

I am so sorry about that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I really apologize. My pen was broken and things just didn't work out.

[Unknown]

I was on drugs.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was on drugs.

[Unknown]

You have no idea how I feel. Don't you come here to my house telling me you are sorry.

[Eric Roberts]

I would like to make it up to you if I can.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If I can, Chrissy. If I can.

[Unknown]

Kenny's acting skills need a little work.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Chrissy, if I can. It's me.

[Unknown]

I know it's been 20 years. We can have a cup of coffee.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, fine, Fine. One glass of Sanka and then you're out.

[Unknown]

I have five minutes and one glass.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Of water and I'm three hours late to work.

[Unknown]

I was supposed to be there early, then I took a nap, woke up late. Now I'm still here. I know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I thought she was gonna get a promotion. Work or some. Okay, see, I will take it. See, I will take it. I will take it. Pepe Love.

[Unknown]

I get in here. Kenny.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's a terrible picture of that girl.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, I mean, I'm sure it was terrible. Taken two minutes ago. Yeah.

[Unknown]

This whole thing, it's a model home.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Who has lights like that in there?

[Unknown]

No one. No one.

[Eric Roberts]

She's beautiful like her grandmother.

[Unknown]

Oh, now they're going to go into Coco the Abuela.

[Eric Roberts]

Thank you, sweetheart.

[Unknown]

Wait, what? Are you here on business?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, no, I don't do business anymore.

[Unknown]

Look at the fake clock.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Even that.

[Unknown]

I mean, all of this is model home.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What time is it? Oh, it's still 12:05.

[Eric Roberts]

I just came to see you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I just came to see you.

[Unknown]

Oh, it's been 20 years, so might as well not be around the bush. I thought I had it figured out that you sent me away to protect me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Mm.

[Unknown]

And during that time, I just convinced myself you love me. And that's why you did it. What? Say.

[Eric Roberts]

Exactly why.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What? You said exactly what you said.

[Unknown]

Beautiful baby. My husband, who passed away. But not once. You didn't send me a letter once.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, about that.

[Eric Roberts]

I have no idea how to praise.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A little girl with my two hands.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he's putting them together like some water.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This is so strange.

[Eric Roberts]

With a boy, that's easy.

[Unknown]

Yeah, my boy is in jail, so that was easy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

My boy, that was easy. I put him in Angola State Penitentiary to save my own ass. When I got busted by girls.

[Unknown]

I had no idea.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Girls, they have vaginas. It's complicated machinery.

[Eric Roberts]

I sent you to my sister. I know she, Aunt Betty.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Aunt Betty.

[Eric Roberts]

And I believe she did.

[Unknown]

She became my mother.

[Eric Roberts]

She, she wrote me again and again asking to bring you to see me. But I no respond.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I no respond. No, I no response.

[Unknown]

It's not okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The Spanglish is so horrifically racist. I mean it's just so terrible.

[Eric Roberts]

I was never afraid of nothing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But that is a double negative. So I was actually afraid of everything. I was never afraid of nothing but.

[Eric Roberts]

Sally, bringing you into my kind of life. That frightened me.

[Unknown]

Well.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, I can understand.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Eric Roberts]

I consider you auntie's request, but I just push him aside. But now those fears are gone.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And you want to know why? The word of the Lord.

[Eric Roberts]

And I found out you were, you were in la and did I have a granddaughter I would like very much.

[Unknown]

You mean his sister didn't tell him? Keep him posted on what was happening.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. No, listen. It's complicated.

[Unknown]

I also found you. You're in la.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. So I found out you were in LA and I decided to come down with my driver who I killed moments ago and changed my clothes. And it's still 12:05 on your clock.

[Unknown]

So what? No wonder she's late for work.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know she's, I thought her job was important and she had to work because Mary was out of town.

[Unknown]

Three jobs.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Three jobs. Jobs. It's now 8:15. She was supposed to be there. 4:45.

[Unknown]

Shiny suit and your nice car. And what? Are you going to take us to the mall? Perimeter.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What? Are you going to take us to the mall? Please. There, there's a sheen pop up. No, I don't have any money.

[Unknown]

I, I, I bought the, these clothes, these chinos. This is these cream chinos thing I'm on.

[Eric Roberts]

Sally. I know. I just walk into you like I did not know. I had no idea what to expect.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

By the way, I hear this same music when I'm getting a massage sometimes. Oh yeah, it's the, it's the slow Spanish harp.

[Eric Roberts]

I would just like to make things right.

[Unknown]

Please see.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Papa, you have to get going.

[Unknown]

I've been trying to get to work for five hours.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm one day late to work.

[Unknown]

I was supposed to be there yesterday or four.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Does no one here have a cell phone? And no one's calling them.

[Unknown]

Do you have a cell number?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, there we go. All right.

[Unknown]

I can, Let me just think about this. I can call you from my home phone because I don't have a screen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Unknown]

We could start there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, there's the cell phone. Oh, oh, it's an Apple ii. All right, let's take a break. Well, I'd like to say it's getting good, but it's definitely not. So we'll be back.

[Brian Green]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Be brief.

[Brian Green]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's 212-433-3822.

[Brian Green]

Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and.

[Unknown]

Finally share the show.

[Brian Green]

It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult. Now what was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

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[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

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[Chrissy Hoadley]

All right, we're back watching the rally la. It's TCB minus. Thanks for joining us, Case. You didn't know. We didn't do this live because we had some issues. Not going to go through all that again. We're going to get right back into the movie. Let me keep you up. Let me get you up to speed just to give you like an idea of what we understand the movie to be about so far. Kenneth Copeland has a terrible accent. Eric Roberts has a terrible accent. Some lady is three hours late to go to work and the daughter is a fastidious student who is trying her best to be a good daughter.

[Unknown]

And then Kenny just showed up after 20 years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, just showed up to the mother. So there's a girl named Christina. She's a teenager in high school. Her mom is Kenny Copeland's daughter, long lost daughter. Eric Roberts is Kenny Copeland's brother who is a drug kingpin who is getting ready for a big shipment. So here we go. LA is a cool city. I do gotta say, okay, now it's nighttime. Oh, more drug guys opening up A gate. I think this is the shit shipment, Chrissy. If I had to guess.

[Unknown]

Well, in a bug.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. In the world's smallest car. Yes. Oh, it's the three guys from earlier. It's Marcos, Frankie.

[Unknown]

Oh, Frankie.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's Frankie, the guy who was stealing the drugs.

[Unknown]

Frankie's gonna get his.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, is Frankie gonna get killed Something.

[Unknown]

He's gonna get tortured or something.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, now they're in a big garage and Frankie has to sit down on a metal chair. Uh oh, here comes Eric Roberts. It's time for some murdering.

[Unknown]

It's nighttime. He's got his glasses. Sunglasses on. Yes, his Dockers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love it. He's yacked out of his head. Probably. I wonder what the actual drugs budget was.

[Unknown]

Probably a lot.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Oh, he pulls his sunglasses down to look at him over.

[Eric Roberts]

Let's keep this very, very simple. You have taken something that belongs to me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A huge bag of corn starch.

[Unknown]

Soda.

[Eric Roberts]

You know, I appreciate guys like you who have an entrepreneurial vibe about you. Like, like Marcos here.

[Unknown]

Vibe?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

God, he's going some vibe.

[Eric Roberts]

And I have no air. So he is my heir apparent. Oh, he learning the business. He's grateful to learn the business.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's grandfather just doesn't sound very scary. He's like I want an air. So I got an air apparent. He's learning the business. It's so much fun, Chrissy.

[Unknown]

Oh my God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And now I'm going to kill you by slicing off your penis. Your little Woo.

[Eric Roberts]

But now that Julie's in charge, can you call her his own like everything else?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let me go. I promise I'll keep everything clean. Except for me, cuz I like drugs.

[Eric Roberts]

Isn't that right Marcos? Yes sir.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You see? Oh, a gun.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Marco maybe should have pulled a gun on them earlier.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I agree. Oh, oh, he's giving us a gun. Eric Roberts has given Marcos the gun. Marcos is going to have to kill Frankie, his friend.

[Unknown]

Your hands are dirty now, Marcos.

[Eric Roberts]

Good night, young man.

[Unknown]

Good night, young man. Let's stop squabbling.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let us not squabble about small things. I'm going to shoot your right testicle off.

[Unknown]

Marcus is gonna chicken out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course he is.

[Unknown]

Or is he gonna kill him?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, he's a good guy. He loves the lord.

[Unknown]

Yeah, said PG13 violence.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, he shot him in the head.

[Unknown]

He went straight for the head.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wow.

[Unknown]

Okay, Kenny, Cope, things are heating up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Kenny's not afraid to have a movie with people who shoot each other in the head to get a point across that the Lord loves you.

[Unknown]

Oh, wait, hold on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay. All right.

[Unknown]

The landscapers are there. Miss Betty's next door with the two foot by two foot lawn. They're fixing the lawnmower.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's some handyman fixing the lawnmower that was mowing the 2 foot by 2 foot lawnmower.

[Unknown]

And then there's another guy doing landscaping.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

To the right there.

[Unknown]

All right, there's a lot of landscaping to be done in this little tiny yard. Not unlike your landscapers that were here earlier.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's another handyman. They're all at the house. Yes. It looks like they're getting ready to go do TCB live streaming.

[Unknown]

They're here at Brian's house.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ma'.

[Unknown]

Am.

[Eric Roberts]

Name's Joe.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

As you can see, we're taking care.

[Eric Roberts]

Of the lawn and lock on your front door.

[Unknown]

That's a huge group of people taking care of lawns and locks.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right, Chrissy. I got a guy on the roof and two dudes in the store. All and cameras. And then I also left you about a million dollars in cash in the freezer. It's all from your papa.

[Eric Roberts]

So I can fix the door.

[Unknown]

Okay. All right. Who sent you?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

All right. And exactly who are you? Yeah, I'd be like, get the away from my house.

[Eric Roberts]

Oh, gentleman called Antonio Miguel Squad. Sarka.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He made. He wanted me to make sure I did his middle name Antonia Miguel Saka. Antonio Miguel Santa.

[Unknown]

Okay, right. I see. He's trying to buy my love by landscaping and handymaning me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right. He's handymaning me. He's handymaning my love. Well, dad, you can handyman me all you want, but me and my daughter are not going to be a part of your life.

[Eric Roberts]

Well, only be about another 20 minutes.

[Unknown]

Because your yard's so small. Yeah, it's not gonna take long.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Only about another 20 minutes. Because this is a model home and quite frankly, the walls are made of paper. I'm gonna text you on my Samsung generation one phone. Is this Miguel Santoni Santa?

[Unknown]

Hello, Sarka. Hey, it's me, Sally.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sally.

[Unknown]

That was a weird collab.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's me, Sally. Sally. And Kenny's in his poke.

[Unknown]

In his pajamas.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I often wear plaid curtains. Yes. I often wear four layers to be silk robe.

[Unknown]

You know. Yeah, he's hanging with the kids.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Polka dog. Satin robe. Lucky if over your regular pajamas and then there's a T shirt underneath.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm lucky if I wear pajamas to bed. I wear my boxers. If I get my boxers on, I'm good.

[Eric Roberts]

How are you?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm just here with my penis. Wingling.

[Unknown]

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, Sally.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Buenos dias.

[Unknown]

Welcome to the main stage.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I meant to tell you, your mom is not your real mom. She's actually your sister. And you, therefore, are not related to me.

[Unknown]

Some men came and mowed my lawn and fixed that front door of mine.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Go on. Do you mind if we face. I've got my robe on. Tell me more about your mowed lawn and your front door.

[Unknown]

I knew you'd seen it.

[Eric Roberts]

I just wanted to do some things for you, but I think it would be better if I was mowing.

[Unknown]

I just sent my handyman.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I sent my handyman to mow your lawn.

[Unknown]

Oh, God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do you want me to unclog your pipes?

[Unknown]

Oh, God. Well, see, I wanted you to know that I really appreciate it and I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Actually do need the money, so if you wouldn't mind saying this is ridiculous.

[Unknown]

She is in a nice home. It's a nice model home, but it's a nice home. It's like a nice home. And she was so, like, distraught over her lawn and front door. She's very grateful now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, she's very grateful over the $15 job of fixing it.

[Unknown]

Also, she told the daughter to lock the door. Be sure and lock the door. Seemed like nothing wrong with the door.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, remember, the door was shaky when the door. When the daughter tried to open it.

[Unknown]

I was a little shaky.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I guess there is a little continuity manager on set because I put two and two together there.

[Eric Roberts]

My pleasure.

[Unknown]

Well, we can maybe get that coffee. I have no idea why this is not available on streaming.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, I can't imagine that Netflix wouldn't want to put this on.

[Unknown]

Seems like a high.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Eric Roberts]

Sweet.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, sweetheart. Going to get.

[Unknown]

She's softened now. He's buying her. Buying her love through the lawn and handyman.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This is amazing. They're trying to make this big moral point. He comes in, she says, you're not gonna buy my love, you know? And he says, I'm sorry. I tried to. I didn't want to raise daughter. He sends a handyman over to put a screw in the front door. And she's like, wow, I guess we can get that coffee now. All better. All better, Sally.

[Unknown]

So happy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Grow a backbone. Thank God that screw is back in the front.

[Unknown]

And my lawn has been.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's not like the house was getting foreclosed on.

[Unknown]

I'm saying it didn't seem like things were that bad.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, they're not. Of course, if this house is really in LA It's a million and a half dollar house. House.

[Unknown]

Yes. She's like, yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's like, yes. I can finally open the front door without a jiggle in the jiggle.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Unknown]

Who's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know. Why is that a door for small people?

[Unknown]

It's a church door. It's like it's pointed at the top. It's strange.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. I don't know if anybody's ever had like, an upstairs, like, attic door. Like the tiny little door that's open.

[Unknown]

That's what this is.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Can I help you?

[Eric Roberts]

I'm here to see San Diego, please.

[Unknown]

He's in his.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He doesn't see people. I need to see San Diego, please. He doesn't see people. He doesn't see people unless they're naked. He's a freak.

[Eric Roberts]

I am Antonio Miguel Saka.

[Unknown]

Is that true?

[Eric Roberts]

I am Santiago Scarface.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I am amigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Come in. Okay, come in. Okay, no problem. Great security. He doesn't see anyone. My name is Miguel, amigo. Santiago. Antonio Roberto Salka. Okay, come on in.

[Unknown]

Come on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You convince me.

[Unknown]

Come in. Plus, you've got the suit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You can wait in there. You can wait in there.

[Unknown]

Just don't hit your head. Yeah, come in.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Don't hit your head on the small door.

[Unknown]

Mine, the room.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, bring. Your phone's ringing.

[Eric Roberts]

Thank you.

[Unknown]

This model home. So funny.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know.

[Unknown]

They're using it for all scenes, by the way.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, it's the same home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No doubt. When I was a kid.

[Unknown]

My brother.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Break out the whiskey.

[Unknown]

I'm picturing Tom Hanks on the the keyboard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sit down on these. Now sit down in these uncomfortably closed chairs. And let's knock knees together.

[Unknown]

This fake fireplace, that's a terrible mantle.

[Eric Roberts]

What brings you to Los Angeles? I came to see Los Angeles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Los Angeles, Good.

[Eric Roberts]

I've not seen in a while, but I have my guy looking out for her.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And my guy stares at her through the window. On occasion, We've got a ring doorbell in her closet, so I. I go on the app on occasion. She's growing up nicely, I must say.

[Unknown]

A beautiful woman.

[Eric Roberts]

Some private school.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And look, I don't get enough like I used to, but tight into a heart.

[Eric Roberts]

Harvard, Harvard, Harvard. Last I heard from you, you're going overseas for a while.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You're my brother. And last time I heard from you, you were what, going to China or something? I look after your daughter. You were where? I don't remember what you said.

[Unknown]

They look nothing alike.

[Eric Roberts]

Welcome to the house in Greece.

[Unknown]

Oh. Oh, Greece.

[Eric Roberts]

So beautiful.

[Unknown]

They're supposed to be from Greece.

[Eric Roberts]

You should have been there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You should have been there. I was the only Mexican accented person in all of Greece. Oh, my God. I went to green.

[Unknown]

For the past 20 years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Who writes this garbly gook is not. Oh, I know. Eric Rayner. Rick Rada. Excuse me.

[Eric Roberts]

Want a drink?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, bring us a drink. Freddie, get us some of that water down. Don Julio.

[Unknown]

They've been talking about the 50% agave.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, 50%. I want only 50% agave. Only the finest for my brother. Where did you go? What was your name?

[Eric Roberts]

So, big brother, where are you staying? Convention center.

[Unknown]

Yeah, the convention center.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The convention center. Filming this over at the convention center. There's a tile conference in town. And.

[Eric Roberts]

You should stay here. We have plenty of room. Thank you, Shanti.

[Unknown]

Plenty of room and unmarked bottles of booze.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Thank you, but I've got terrible wind and I like to whack off on my own.

[Eric Roberts]

I'm fine, thank you, Teddy.

[Unknown]

Eric's looking suave with his glasses, long hair.

[Eric Roberts]

What is it?

[Unknown]

You seem different, brother. I haven't seen you in 20 years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, it's the breath of the Lord. If you. If you don't mind. I blew coronavirus away. I don't know if you know, but.

[Eric Roberts]

We haven't seen each other for a long time. That's my fault.

[Unknown]

I stayed in Greece.

[Eric Roberts]

Yeah, we are busy in. But I have come to know, brother, that we have. I have.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We have. Can I do that over again? No. Okay.

[Eric Roberts]

I have been busy doing all of the wrong things. Do you remember when we were young boys and we play war.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And I would kick you in the nuts and you would kick me back in the nuts when. Well, turns out I can't get anybody pregnant. So it's not actually my daughter. So I'm hoping you can take care of her. Well, I go do my tile thing over at the conventions.

[Unknown]

I've brought handmade mosaics. Yes, from Greece.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I do all kinds of work. Bathroom renovations, handyman walk in tubs for older folks. You've seen the commercials on tv. I found the Lord and now I do walk in tubs. Door to door.

[Eric Roberts]

And the other. And we lead our men into great battles and we win great victories.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Eric Roberts, the venerable actor, is probably like, why don't we just drop the ax?

[Unknown]

Can we just. Done.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Normally it's terrible. He's going in and out of accents and I don't even know what they are. Italian, Greek, Mexican.

[Eric Roberts]

But what do you think we were really doing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Masturbating?

[Eric Roberts]

I'm not sure. We were trying to live.

[Unknown]

His aircraft got his watch like on the inside.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Eric Roberts]

Her purpose, reason for being on this earth.

[Unknown]

You, me, now we're getting meat. Potatoes of the tile convention and God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Tile convention and God. He's going to try and convert his brother to God.

[Eric Roberts]

I built an empire. We have Santi. I have given all of that up to follow Jesus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exactly, exactly. The most honest line. Influence.

[Eric Roberts]

No more empire.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I gave it all away. That's right.

[Unknown]

I came after the handyman that I sent him.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I took all my blood stained cash and I turned it into the Catholic church. And they said, ah, we don't know nothing. We don't know nothing.

[Unknown]

The laundering and the tiles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right. I'm laundering the turkey dials. So you're saying was that a thimble? Yeah, it was a thimble. Yeah. A thimble of something. And I think it was real because of the way that he reacted to it.

[Unknown]

He's like, I need something.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. He's like, oh, that's fire water.

[Unknown]

I need something.

[Eric Roberts]

Everything you had, you gave up. Nothing left back home. Nothing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Except for this million dooll suit, my 1994 Tahoe and the handyman that I send to my daughter. That's right.

[Eric Roberts]

So he just gave it all.

[Unknown]

And my security guy that came in with me, where is he?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, in the two security guards actually.

[Unknown]

Where are they?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey. He told him to wait here. He's probably murdered. He's been murdered.

[Eric Roberts]

It's a little confusing.

[Unknown]

Are you local?

[Eric Roberts]

You gave away everything you were for. Gave away your status. And you kept enough until you die to be with Jesus. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh, you kept enough until you die.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, you kept enough until you die. Yeah, well, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Sometimes you just gotta keep a couple extra billion on the side.

[Unknown]

Stash the billion.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

And then I'm out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Elon Musk is going to be the first trillionaire. Did you hear that? He's going to be the first trillionaire. So just enough before you die.

[Eric Roberts]

Is all you need. Are you crazy?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Local do it's local.

[Eric Roberts]

I made a choice to follow Jesus after the billions.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right. After I made billions on dead people.

[Eric Roberts]

I have never felt so much peace in all of my life. He has truly blessed me. He's given me his grace.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I got away with all the murdering and the robbing, drug addiction, prostitution.

[Unknown]

Like get out at the casinos.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm going straight. That's right. I am now in the softcore pornography business.

[Unknown]

And the tiles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And the tiles. I actually. But they together nicely. When you put in a tub insert, you make a soft pepper.

[Unknown]

The blood.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right. It's a picture of a vagina with a soft penis. And then you stuff some drugs behind it. You get it later. If you need cash, it's a bank.

[Eric Roberts]

All I want to do now is help people. There is so much we can do. You, you, me, we can change this city.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Los Angeles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Los Angeles.

[Eric Roberts]

You know, God said.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

God said in his holy moly guacamole.

[Unknown]

God. He's pulling out his phone. What?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, no.

[Unknown]

It's a Bible.

[Eric Roberts]

Bible before you.

[Unknown]

That's not the full Bible.

[Eric Roberts]

Lieuted version.

[Unknown]

That's a tiny Bible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's. That's a Cliff Notes.

[Unknown]

It's a tiny Bible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Cliff Notes. Yeah. Tiny Bible blessing. You got to get it in that tiny door.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Eric Roberts]

And the cursing. Therefore you choose a lie.

[Unknown]

I haven't heard one person curse.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Eric Roberts]

Something. You need to change what you are doing and start living for Jesus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Jeez. That like a. I don't know, like a. What do they call that?

[Unknown]

That's like an Eric Roberts looks skeptical.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's like an on the border commercial. You need to change what you're doing and come to on the border. Big Brother.

[Eric Roberts]

I am not a spiritual man by any means. But I know that what I am doing is not pleasing to you, to God. I know that's a fact. I can just wake up tomorrow, start serving Jesus. Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Eric Roberts]

That's what I did.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, that's what I did. I made a pizza pie. One day I'm a Mexican and the next is a day I'm a. Then I become a Greek because now I'm an Argentinian. Look at this. I'm Venezuelan. Tomorrow. Hey, that's all.

[Eric Roberts]

He loves you.

[Unknown]

That's what I do.

[Eric Roberts]

I'm in too deep. And to be honest with you, who.

[Unknown]

Do you think's paying for these model homes?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Who's paying for all that?

[Eric Roberts]

People who look up to me. I have people who respect me. People in this town can't make a move without first my okay, do it. I am a supplier for that people.

[Unknown]

Do it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do it. Do it with this fingers with me.

[Eric Roberts]

And I like that. Want me to give that up? I don't think I'll be taking it off for a big Brother. I have my own offering to give.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Boom. I just. I just take that. And by the way, I just lost my accent for like five minutes. This is great.

[Eric Roberts]

And the Lord will either accept it or reject it. I hear what you're saying.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he just lost it there, too. I hear what you're saying.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So he goes in and out of it. Yeah, he's even worse than Kenny.

[Eric Roberts]

I think I have a few things to do before bed. Well, you think about it.

[Unknown]

If you need anything, think about it.

[Eric Roberts]

You know, you can call Missy.

[Unknown]

I mean, is that Ros. He's got like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ros. It's not something weird.

[Eric Roberts]

If I need my pillowcase change, I'll be sure to call your housekeeper at the hotel. Good night. There is a curse on this city, and Jesus is ready to break that curse.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And in my job to break that curse.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Eric Roberts]

What a. Not you, little bird.

[Unknown]

Look in this eye.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, look in this eye now. Look in this eye now. Look at goodness. I. Oh, that's a lot to think about. Yeah, it's. It's a stressful situation, Chris.

[Unknown]

It is. How am I going to button that back up on my shirt?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Now where do I get one of those cool polka dot silk robes? Yeah. What happened with that?

[Unknown]

He was like, in the robe and then he.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know he's in the robe. And they got in this suit and he came over. It's all a big mishmash hodgepodge, you know what I'm saying? All right, part one. Who. Wow. Yeah, we're.

[Unknown]

We're Afternoon here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Friday afternoon into the evening. Friday afternoon into the evening here at the commercial break. All right, so part one is done. Stay tuned for part two. We will do our best to get that out asap. We don't know when.

[Unknown]

We know you're waiting on baited breath.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, we know you're waiting on baited breath, but keep breathe. Yeah, breathe free. We don't know when we're gonna get the second part up, but thank you to everybody who has been writing in and calling in, texting in emailing about the merch that you have already pre ordered. We certainly do appreciate it. If you haven't had a chance, shop tcb podcast.com that's shop tcb podcast.com hats, hoodies, t shirts, university sweaters, and a free sticker with every purchase. We're really proud of this merch drop. If you can support us, great. If you can't, that's okay too. But I will tell you how you may be able to get a free piece of merch two ways. Number one, if you have. Once you get merch, wear it or do something with it. Take a picture tag us wash your car with it. Yeah, wash your car with it. Wipe your ass with it, whatever. Tag us at the commercial break on Instagram, invite us to be a collaborator. We will share that with other people and then we're going to pick a few people who have purchased our merch and send off some additional free merch. If you cannot afford merch for any reason, let me know. 212-4333 TCB maybe payment plan? Yeah, we got a payment plan. Maybe we've got a sticker. Maybe we have an extra T shirt lane around in an odd size or something like that. I don't want anybody to think that our love depends on whether or not you can purchase merch. We've all been there. From one broke jokesters to the other. We know all about it. So just call us, text us, whatever. 212-4333 TCB okay, this will be available if YouTube does not copyright claim it. If no one in Kenny Copeland's camp copyright claims it. This will be available on YouTube [e-mail] they commercial break. Also you can go to our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, all the video and always a free sticker. Go to the contact us button drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address away it will go. And one more thing, at the commercial break on Instagram, tag us in the aforementioned pictures. All right Chrissy, that's all I can do for today?

[Unknown]

I think so.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Unknown]

I love you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say and we must say.

[Brian Green]

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[Chrissy Hoadley]

Today.

[Brian Green]

Don't miss out. Go to RosettaStone.com RS10 and start learning today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Unknown]

J.