Chrissy Hoadley (3:35)

Oh, yes, you are.

Brian Greene (3:36)

Yes. All 30 kids. They're going to pack up in the old family van wagon out there.

Chrissy Hoadley (3:41)

And the Wagoneer.

Brian Greene (3:43)

Yeah, the Wagoneer that smells like puke and blue saliva and Brian's hot ass. And we're all going to go down there to get more hot ass and more puke. It's going to be gross. And then we're going to go visit the land of the double ears, the land of the circular ears, the three circles, as they call it. It is a big deal that first time you bring all the kids down to Disney, it's a big deal for the kids because they're gonna get overstimulated, hot, tired, angry, and upset, and I'm already overstimulated, hot, tired, angry and upset about having to do it. And I'm further in debt than I ever have been before because that's the way that Disney World is now.

Chrissy Hoadley (4:19)

It's the American dream.

Brian Greene (4:20)

It's the American dream. Go to Disney World one time in your entire family's existence and then remember why you never want to go back to Disney World. We went to Disney World five or six years ago. My dad and my stepmom took everybody to Disney World. Now, this is the second time that this is. This. This was. Excuse me. The second time that they had done this in a decade. And we did Thanksgiving down in Disney World. And this time we had a kid, and I had Astrid. The last time I was single, but I wasn't really single, but cuckoo Lucu over there was somewhere else in the world. But this time we had a child with us.

Chrissy Hoadley (4:58)

You did. I think that was maybe the Thanksgiving.

Brian Greene (4:59)

Right before COVID It was the Thanksgiving right before COVID It was 2019.

Chrissy Hoadley (5:03)

You came back with the lightsaber.

Brian Greene (5:05)

I did.

Chrissy Hoadley (5:05)

And I really wanted to play with that thing. And it had broken.

Brian Greene (5:08)

You know what it was? The battery had died. And the crystal that they. The special crystal, which is a piece of fucking plastic you pay $700 for. Listen, I love everything about Disney World and I will happily pay all the dollars if I can afford it. If it's financially response, okay? Even if it's financially irresponsible, I'll do it because I love Disney and I love Disney World and everything about it, and I don't give a shit. And all of my kids do, too. But I also know that it's very stressful to go on a Disney vacation because you have to plan every single thing, especially when you have a lot of children. I went down there with my family. My dad takes everybody. Dad and stepmom take everybody there. And we go for three or four or five days, whatever it was. And we went to that Star wars at it just as it had just opened. And we did that lightsaber thing. And I thought, what's the big wanking deal? You're going to go in there, you're going to get a plastic lightsaber. They're going to make, you know, they're going to have some actor go wickety wonky ibity do. You're now a Jedi too. And then you're like, you're going to turn on your lightsaber. It's going to make a noise, you know?

Chrissy Hoadley (6:09)

Yeah.

Brian Greene (6:12)

How do you make that noise? Let's see if I can do it here. Whatever. Anyway. Anyway, you get. I move on.

Chrissy Hoadley (6:21)

The mountain monster has invaded Star wars exhibit.

Brian Greene (6:24)

Swear to God. So I thought, how cool could it really be? We're paying this much money to watch some actors tell us about our brand new plastic pieces of toys. It was the exact opposite of that. It was the coolest fucking thing I've ever done. It was so fucking cool. It was so they had the actors and the crystals levitated and the lightsaber came out on its own. And you opened it up and it was awesome. And I get it home and I buy a sheath for it and an extra crystal, a kyber crystal for five, $8,000. I don't know. I mortgage the house, I buy an extra kyber crystal, I get that shit home. And Chrissy's like, yeah, let me play with your. And it's sitting in the corner in the sheath.

Chrissy Hoadley (7:08)

And she's like, I'm a huge Star wars fan.

Brian Greene (7:11)

Yeah, let me play with that. I take it out, it Would make, like, a little noise. And she's like, what's wrong with it? And I'm like, I don't know. Ever since I got at home, it won't work. It's just like. It turns on. It turns right off, and then it won't. It, like, yells at me. I don't know. I look for the kyber crystal. I don't even know how to get to the fucking kyber crystal. I put it in there during the event, But I don't know how to get to the kyber. I don't even know what the kyber crystal is. I don't know. What are you doing? What are we doing? I was so enthralled by the. By the moment that I didn't pay attention on how do you actually assemble this thing? So my kids get old enough to realize what's in the corner. My oldest, he's like, what's that? I said, it's his lightsaber from star wars. Yeah. Can I play with it? It doesn't work, but we can take it out. It's very heavy, by the way. Very heavy. It's very heavy. It looks like glass. I mean, it's the real deal, right? So he takes it out, you know, does the whole thing, and he's just so upset. And then the other kids are upset. Everyone's upset. Yeah. So I'm like, well, motherfucker, let me go online like I should have done in the first place, and google it. I google it and it says, are the batteries charged? And I go, I think to myself, I haven't even used it. Where are the batteries? What are. What batteries do you need? I don't know. I didn't even know it needed batteries. Is the kyber crystal in place? The fucking kyber crystal. I don't know how to get to it. Then it tells me how to get to it, how to unlock it and get to it. So take it out. Kyber crystal is a little catty wonkus. So I put it. It turns on for one second, and it turns back off. Ah, fuck. The kyber crystal is busted. You have to buy a new kyber crystal. How much of the kyber crystal? $85,000. Okay, I'll buy a new kyber crystal. Well, then a couple of days later, my son's playing with it. All of a sudden, it turns on, and I'm like, oh. And then it turns off again, and I'm like, well, shit, that's the same problem we've been having. Go on google again. How to further Disassemble it. I disassemble it. It's got four fucking AAA batteries in it. It's no special batteries. There's no kyber crystal. It's 4aa and they are dead as a doornail. Must have turned on while it was traveling and then just stayed on the entire or I never turned it off. Yeah, no wonder. That was what was making that noise the entire ride home. But there was no batteries in it. Sunshine. That thing works. It's awesome. So I give it to the kids. Hey kids, go Kyber Crystal yourself to death. You know, have some fun. But be careful, it's heavy. Don't throw it on the ground, right? Kids are, kids are playing with it. They hand it to the little one. What does she do? She tosses it like a, like a little rag doll. Like tosses it. Bonk breaks. The Kyber crystal breaks. And now I officially have a Kyber Crystal problem. So we're going down there at the end of the month. So, you know, there's a chance we might be running some classics. We're going down there, you know, in sometime in June. We're going down there. But I'm already stressing about this. I'm already way stressed about this whole thing because you know, and I know that even though I've already kind of paid for the vacation, it's on a credit card that don't mean shit.

Chrissy Hoadley (10:11)

Oh no, that's just the first step.

Brian Greene (10:13)

I paid for the food, I paid for the lodging, I paid for the tickets, I paid for the transportation. It's all paid for. But that is step one of 13, the 13 steps in a Disney World vacation. Step one, all of the food you must get in the eight hour travels down there. Step two, all of the gift shops you're going to stop at on the way down there. Step three, the night before you actually check into the hotel. The hotel room you have to get to make sure you're the first one at the hotel room before you actually start your Disney vacation. Step four, gift shop everywhere. Step five, gift shop everywhere. Step six, T shirts everywhere. Step seven, Mickey pretzels everywhere. Step seven, Mickey hot dogs. Step eight, Mickey waffles. Step nine, Kyber crystals. Step 12, bankruptcy. Right? Unbelievable. I'm stressed, Chrissy. I'm stressed. I can't wait to go, but I'm stressed at the same time. You should come with us. Why don't you and Uncle Jeff come down and you get, you know, because when aunts and uncles come, then they pay for the stuff.

Chrissy Hoadley (11:10)

I'm going to see music.

Brian Greene (11:13)

Yeah, you've seen enough music. I mean, how much music can you see in one year, honestly? All right. A lot, apparently. A lot, apparently. All right, episode number 11. Looks like we are going to do a 12 2. Just to say goodbye. We're going to do that on Twitch, but if you're not on our youth, if you're not on our Instagram, then you will have missed that. So fuck you. Fuck you. But thank you to everyone who did tune into our Twitch. Couple dozen people, honestly, because we didn't tell anybody until the day that it happened. I'm pretty surprised even 12 people showed up. We had one follower when we started the account this morning, and that was Chris.

Chrissy Hoadley (11:51)

That was me.

Brian Greene (11:51)

Yeah. There's one character who I think really defines the commercial break in almost every way. He's crazy. He's corny, he's kooky, he's old. He's chauvinistic, he's bambastic. He is fantastic. He is a travel expert. He's a relationship expert. He is everything that we ever do. Salon suites. He's an entrepreneur. Salon suite. He's everything wrapped into one leathery hair filled. What's that?

Chrissy Hoadley (12:30)

Bow?

Brian Greene (12:31)

Bow. That's right. That hair is a bow. One Botox needle, pricked, tattooed, and his name is Frank Bernardo. Frankie B. Frankie B. Has been our constant companion through all of this. If we have to give props to one other character outside the Tinas and Jeffs and Astrids and Marianne's will, the champs and all the Jenny's and South Georgia song and Minnesota Sean. Hey, buddy, how are you? All those people, we got to give props to Frankie B. Because he has kept this train on the tracks more often than not. When I am desperate for content. When it was a late night with the kids, when the third or fifth or twelfth child was up sucking on Astrid's teat and I was in bed with the other 32 children kicking me and screaming at me and begging for water and needing to go to the bathroom. Pee, pee, poo, poo. Da da di. Frankie B. Came in in a pinch. Every time he put out a new video, we got to break it down. And we've done every one of them. Every one of them. I love Frankie B. He is close to my heart, like I mentioned in the last episode. So I made a song for him, Chrissy. And before we review the new videos with an S that he's got out there, I would love for you to take a listen to my song.

Chrissy Hoadley (13:48)

I would love to listen.

Brian Greene (13:50)

Let me dial it up here on the old tcb. Melator. Tcb. Melator. AI named it Lady Lovely. I call it Frankie B. That's the name it gave it. I wrote the lyrics, I told it what to do. Here's what it came up with. I hope you enjoy this just as much as I have.

Frank Bernardo (14:09)

I've been putting in the work I've been working out hard I've been trying my best to make it this far I've been driving so fast I've been living so tough I've been waxing my balls Will it ever be enough? Why won't you look at my body? Why do you cheat on me? Don't you love my money on my San arm, Sweets? I'm such a lonely Frankie B.

Brian Greene (14:44)

I've.

Frank Bernardo (14:44)

Seen a lot of action I've been around the world But I just can't find a lady who wants to be my girl I've been getting new hair plucks I've never been so tan I'm living with my daughter eating tuna from a can why won't you look at my body? Why do your friends hate me? Don't I impress you, honey with my solo? Sweet. Oh, yeah, I'm just a lonely Frankie B.

Chrissy Hoadley (15:14)

Rocket.

Brian Greene (15:15)

Rocket. I should have put that in there.

Frank Bernardo (15:19)

I know we could be lovers I know I'm just your type why don't you come to my place? I'll protect your face Please, girl. Swipe Race.

Chrissy Hoadley (15:37)

Oh, the guitar solo.

Frank Bernardo (15:49)

Why won't you look at my body? Why do you cheat on me with my salon sweets? Why won't look at my body? Why do you cheat on me? I'm just pressing. Me and my salons Sweets that's me. I'll Frankie B.

Brian Greene (16:19)

Yeah, baby. What do you think, Chrissy?

Chrissy Hoadley (16:22)

I love it.

Brian Greene (16:23)

I think we've got a new classic.

Chrissy Hoadley (16:24)

Fabulous.

Brian Greene (16:24)

I think we've got a new classic on our hands. And with that, I must wrap this particular segment with the song that should have started it all.

Unknown (16:34)

Just a guy who rants. Not funny at all. The co host is asleep. She's pretty dark. People like the show. Why are they on the charts? What's the Barb guy talking about? I should love a student stat. TCB is terrible. This show is fucking bad. I'd like to punch Ryan Mouth. This podcast is kind of sad. Is this what we think is funny? Now how do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself. Are these two making sense? @ least I. I didn't pay.

Brian Greene (17:19)

I'm deaf.

Unknown (17:20)

In my defense, TTV is Terrible. That is being kind. Both the hosts are idiots. They left the bunny behind. What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul. Brian is a hack. These two aren't funny and so old. Why all the hype? How did this get made so many episodes, none of which are great. TCB is terrible. Worst show you could do. TCV is terrible. Worst to you.

Brian Greene (18:14)

Worst of you. All right.

Chrissy Hoadley (18:23)

Oh, my God, I love that song.

Brian Greene (18:24)

Oh, that is my favorite. That's the one I think is stuck in a lot of people's heads is TCB is terrible. And I've purposefully not played it in the last couple of weeks just to get. Just to starve you of that song.

Chrissy Hoadley (18:34)

So that Maximum Impact.

Brian Greene (18:35)

It hit with Maximum Impact. All right, now, Frankie B. Has brand new videos out and I swear on all this. Holy. These just came out last night, to my knowledge.

Chrissy Hoadley (18:47)

What a gift.

Brian Greene (18:48)

They just popped out in. Well, this is the first time I've checked YouTube when I've seen them, so let's put it that way. Serendipitously. They came into my world last night. Friday, May 30th. I thought we were gonna have to go back to the well on old videos, but it turns out there's new ones now. They're short and some of them are not really the best for like listening to. And I'll, I'll. I'll share them with you and you can explain why, but they're still funny nonetheless. One of them is a minute and a half long and it's the funniest thing Frankie B. Has ever done his entire life. Okay, I'm going to get to that. So we're going to cut this segment short so we can flip the short commercial break thanks to five Hour Energy. And then we can get to Frankie B for the rest of the time before we do. 9, 8. 8. Your mental health is just as important as anything else that you do in your life. That's including your financial health, your physical health, the doctor's checkups, your teeth, whatever, your eyes, your balls, I don't care. All of it's great. All of it should be checked up on. But at the end of the day, if your head ain't right, then all of it can go very wrong really quickly. And some people say if your head ain't right, the rest ain't right either. Put all of that aside. Everybody goes through a hard time. If you live long enough, you are going to have a moment, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a decade of really shitty tough times. That are going to cause you emotional and mental distress. There's nothing to be ashamed about. Even if you feel like you're going crazy, if you wake up in the morning or go to bed at night and your head's spinning and you're like, am I losing it? Is this it? Did I go crazy? You can't get out of bed in the morning and you're like, holy, am I depressed? And I'm just never going to make it out of it. The truth is, almost every one of us will go through this, regardless of how mentally healthy we think we are, how enlightened, how spiritual, how churchgoing, whatever it is. And some of us have more serious personality or psychological issues that need addressing by professionals. If you walked into McDonald's tomorrow bleeding out of your eyeball, they would call an ambulance. If you walked into your dad's house with your arms split open, he would quickly get you to a doctor's office. But oftentimes, behind that skull of yours, it's hard to tell whether or not you're right or you're wrong even inside your own head. That's why you need the help of professionals, people who know what they're talking about, who can assess this kind of illness, quite frankly, and they can address it with medications or therapy or some combination of. There's not a fucking thing to be ashamed of. I've been through it. Chrissy's been through it. Rachel has been through it.

Chrissy Hoadley (21:22)

You're not alone.

Brian Greene (21:23)

No, everyone's been through it. Everyone I know has been through it. You're not alone. So go see a therapist, call a friend, call a family member, call to tcb, no joke. Whatever you need to do to get through, or if you're in a crisis, if it's really that bad, if the next step is one to hurt yourself or other people. 9, 8, 8. It's a free hotline that you can call anytime, day or night, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 Spanish or English, to talk to somebody who is professionally trained to help you get through it and find the resources that you need to help you get through it. I implore you. I know that there. There's going to be hundreds of thousands of people that listen to this by the day's end. I know for a fact that there's somebody out there who is struggling with this, and I hope that you're hearing what I'm saying. 9, 8, 8. Call or text. All right, that's it. Let's leave it alone at that. But I just want you to know somebody out there loves you. May not be me, but there's somebody out there that loves you. Chrissy loves you. Okay, if I don't love you, Chrissy loves you, and, well, the commercial break in general loves you. How's that?

Chrissy Hoadley (22:31)

Absolutely.

Brian Greene (22:32)

Not in like, I want to have sex with you way. Maybe I do, but it's probably not. I have a wife and kids and stuff like that. You know, I don't. I'm not at that part of my life, but you know what I mean. But if you want to make love to your podcast player, you do that. You do whatever needs, whatever you need to get through and dial 988 if you're in mental health crisis. We're going to be back to put all of us in mental health crisis when we listen to Frankie B After these words.

Chrissy Hoadley (22:58)

All right, all right, all right, cats and kittens, you're in the middle of another episode during TCB's endless day. Make sure you're following us at the commercial break on Instagram for more information on all of today's events and maybe even a live streaming recording. Wouldn't that be a miracle? You know, now would be a really good time to call in and give Brian and Chrissy some moral support. They've been at this for like, what, 6 million hours? 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Be sure to catch all these episodes a second time on video@YouTube.com thecommercial break and get your free exclusive Endless Day sticker by visiting tcbpodcast.com and dropping us a line on the contact us button. Okay, I'm gonna go. Or I'll run the risk of being the second person on this podcast to talk way too much. Looking right at you, Brian. Best to you.

Brian Greene (23:57)

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy it is to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted, but in real accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%. So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook. In that case, judge away based on the February 2024 Nelson Report. Learn more@discover.com credit card. All right, home stretch. Here we go. Chrissy.

Chrissy Hoadley (24:33)

That's right.

Brian Greene (24:34)

One more hour. Okay. So, Frankie B.

Chrissy Hoadley (24:39)

Where were we?

Brian Greene (24:40)

Oh, Frankie B. I don't know. What day is it?

Chrissy Hoadley (24:44)

I feel like I'm in a casino.

Brian Greene (24:45)

Yeah, I know. Honestly, it's dark in here, but I know it's still light outside. It's a little weird, actually. I'm agreeing with you on this. And I've been up since so early. It feels like it's the middle of the night, but it's really not. I told Astrid, I said we got the babysitter for the wrong day. It should have been tomorrow. We get the babysitter for. Anyway, Frankie Bay has been missing for almost a year. I think close to a year. No more videos. No new videos. He did a couple, like, little shorts here and there, but nothing really substantial and nothing like his usual content where he talks about women and, you know, cheating on women. Cheating on him and him cheating on women and all this other stuff usually around him.

Chrissy Hoadley (25:22)

And party girls.

Brian Greene (25:23)

Party girls, that's right. His ex girlfriends. Let's see what he talks about. But all of a sudden, he popped up and he put up three new videos. This, the first one, is very interesting. He's down in Boca Raton, as he says it. Boca Raton. I'm in Boca Raton. He doesn't even know where he is. Listen to this, okay? And he's about to go on a yacht with three very attractive older ladies. On a yacht. Okay, Now I'm gonna. I'm on a yacht. Yes. I'm on a yacht. Hey, everybody, look at me. I'm yachting. I'm a yacht guy.

Chrissy Hoadley (25:56)

Yacht material is definitely up Frankie's alley to post, so.

Brian Greene (26:00)

It is. This is so Frankie. But now I want you to watch. Keep note of this, okay? Keep note of this video and then keep note of the next vid. The next video we do. Ready?

Chrissy Hoadley (26:10)

Yes.

Brian Greene (26:10)

Okay. This is Frankie down in Boca Raton. He's about to be on the yacht.

Chrissy Hoadley (26:19)

Oh, he's in a. Is that a golf cart?

Brian Greene (26:21)

It's a golf cart. Where are we?

F (26:22)

We're in Boca. Just Boca.

Brian Greene (26:25)

Boca Raton.

F (26:25)

Boca Raton.

Brian Greene (26:26)

Boca Raton. That's what he says. Boca Raton. I mean, Boca Raton. He's got his aviators on.

Chrissy Hoadley (26:31)

He's got a little ponytail.

Brian Greene (26:33)

He's got a little ponytail. He says, where are we? Where are we? Boca Raton.

Chrissy Hoadley (26:37)

Boca.

Brian Greene (26:37)

I'm on the side of a house in Boca Rattan. Boca Rattan.

F (26:42)

We're out on our friend's boat. I just.

Brian Greene (26:45)

Look at that. So he's walking on the side of a house. On the side of the house there is a prime protein drink or prime energy drink. Blow up, inflatable. Who keeps a Boca Raton? I guess that's where they do it.

F (27:01)

Got to show you this. This freak of nature. Look at this bad boy.

Brian Greene (27:07)

Okay. As yachts go, it's a beautiful yacht. It's black, it's slick black. It's a beautiful boat. But the boat that I went on with my uncle. With Astrid's uncle.

Chrissy Hoadley (27:18)

Yeah, Right.

Brian Greene (27:20)

Three times the size of this boat.

Chrissy Hoadley (27:21)

Yeah, that's.

Brian Greene (27:22)

This is a speedboat with a top on it, essentially. Right. Still way more boat than I can afford. And it's sitting in its own private wet slip on a canal with a.

Chrissy Hoadley (27:35)

Beautiful house at somebody's home.

Brian Greene (27:36)

Yeah. So don't get me wrong. There's a lot of money involved here. But as Florida yachts go, I wouldn't call this a yacht. I'd call this a boat.

F (27:44)

All right. Absolutely gorgeous. Get a load.

Brian Greene (27:50)

Blow a load. Blow a load right here. I've never seen so many so much money in my entire life. Have you, Chrissy? This is crazy. Look at that chair's got my name on it right there, that water chair. I sit there all day long. Look, I can.

Chrissy Hoadley (28:03)

He looks like he has been out.

Brian Greene (28:04)

I have. Have you ever seen leather this good looking, huh? Check out this house.

F (28:11)

Look at this pool. Look at this thing. Marner, this is the captain. What's your name, Mr. Captain? What's up, Paul?

Brian Greene (28:16)

How we doing?

F (28:17)

All right, brother. Nice to meet you.

Chrissy Hoadley (28:18)

Did he just meet?

Brian Greene (28:19)

Yeah, we just met. It's my friend's boat, but I don't know his name yet. I just saw the prime energy drink float and I decided to come on by. This is like the first time Frankie has ever seen a really, really nice house. He's like, look at this. Oh, my God, they have a pool.

F (28:33)

Nice to meet you.

Brian Greene (28:34)

You're more excited than me. I know. Hey, there's his lady friends on the boat. All right, so the three very attractive women.

F (28:41)

The girls are on the boat. Time to change in a suit and let's go get some sun.

Brian Greene (28:48)

Time to change into my dick hangers and let's get going.

Chrissy Hoadley (28:51)

Why is he not already in his suit? Everyone else is on the boat already.

Brian Greene (28:55)

I had to alert all 315 of my YouTube subscribers that I'm in a house.

Chrissy Hoadley (29:01)

The angle, too, that he's filming this, I mean, it's like right up his nose.

Brian Greene (29:04)

Well, that's not the only thing that's right up his nose today. You know what I'm saying Chrissy. Huh? All right, just checking.

F (29:12)

Oh, my Lord.

Brian Greene (29:14)

So I'm imagining one of the girls has their top off.

Chrissy Hoadley (29:16)

Oh, that's.

Brian Greene (29:19)

Can you see through his sunglasses? I think I can see tits through his sunglasses.

Chrissy Hoadley (29:23)

Really?

Brian Greene (29:23)

Yeah.

Chrissy Hoadley (29:27)

Oh, oh, here's the music.

Brian Greene (29:34)

Let me see if I can replicate this. Ready?

Chrissy Hoadley (29:47)

That's pretty good.

Brian Greene (29:48)

Thank you very much. All right, let's keep going. Oh, Frankie getting wild. Yeah.

Chrissy Hoadley (30:02)

The girls are on the back of the seat speedboat.

Brian Greene (30:04)

They are. They're on the back of the speedboat on, like, a sun lounge. They're riding through the canals of Boca Ratan, and they're all in their little bikinis. And then the boat, the seats on the back. At first I thought it said Prado. Prada. It says Pardo, like Don Pardo. I'm sure it's more expensive than I can afford. But anyway, 2, 3, 50 plus 60 plus year old women rocking it out on the back of the boat.

Chrissy Hoadley (30:38)

Good for them.

Brian Greene (30:38)

Hey, listen, they got.

Chrissy Hoadley (30:39)

Listen, they look like they're having fun.

Brian Greene (30:41)

Absolutely.

Chrissy Hoadley (30:48)

They're a little bit more subdued now. They kind of went crazy for a minute, but now they're like, okay, that's enough.

Brian Greene (30:53)

This is what I want you to. Want you to notice, too. They're still in the channel, going out to the sea. Right. Okay.

Chrissy Hoadley (31:01)

Reiki's necklace.

Brian Greene (31:02)

Yeah. So Frankie's shirtless on the front of the boat. He's saying, are you kidding me? Are you nuts? I don't know. What does that have to do with.

Frank Bernardo (31:17)

Drop the beat.

Brian Greene (31:18)

Drop the beat. Now take notice to this cove, because that is where I was when my. When my kids spilled. The exact same place when my kids spilled the wine. All over the. All over the aisle. All right. Look at the ladies.

Chrissy Hoadley (31:35)

Yep.

Brian Greene (31:37)

Pardo yachts. Okay, now they're still in the canal, still going toward the sea here. There's the captain. Oh, wow. That is one skimpy bikini.

Chrissy Hoadley (31:58)

That's a string bikini.

Brian Greene (32:02)

Is that her chocolate starfish? I think it is. Wow. Wow. I just paused at the exact right place. Frankie is taking a picture of one of the girls. Older lady who's got a string bikini on. When I say string, I mean string up the rear. Piece of floss up the rear. And her starfish is glowing for all the world to see. Oh, what's he drinking?

Chrissy Hoadley (32:31)

Vodka.

Brian Greene (32:32)

Oh, okay.

Chrissy Hoadley (32:33)

I wonder if he's gonna break with his diet.

Brian Greene (32:36)

Yeah. This is the most Florida thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Chrissy Hoadley (32:49)

It's fantastic.

Brian Greene (32:56)

Are we assuming one of these girls is his girlfriend?

Chrissy Hoadley (32:58)

I think so.

Brian Greene (32:59)

Doesn't that girl on the left look like the same girl from the beginning of some of his videos? Okay, I think the girl. Yeah, I think the girl in the middle looks a little too young for him, if I'm being honest. And the girl on the right, she doesn't belong. Yeah, she. One of these things is not like the other. Those are young.

Chrissy Hoadley (33:19)

Those are y.

Brian Greene (33:20)

Those are young. Okay, now watch. Ready? Still on the way out of the canal, but watch. I love it.

F (33:33)

He's squeezing this boat in this little spot over here. It's gonna be interesting.

Chrissy Hoadley (33:41)

Frankie seems drunk.

Brian Greene (33:42)

Frankie does seem drunk.

Chrissy Hoadley (33:43)

And his hair's down.

Brian Greene (33:44)

Yes, his hair is down. He's letting his hair down.

Chrissy Hoadley (33:47)

That's when whipped.

Brian Greene (33:48)

Are you noticing that Maybe those hair plugs didn't do everything? He thought they were going. Okay.

Chrissy Hoadley (33:54)

Oh.

Chrissy Hoadley (33:56)

All right.

Brian Greene (33:57)

This is not the best content video ever, but I want you to listen to what Frankie says next. Okay? Here we go. All right, here it is. Ready? Still on the way out to the ocean. Take note.

F (34:06)

As you can probably tell, the party in the boat is getting a little bit more subdued right now. Yeah, it's crash time. We had. We had a great time.

Brian Greene (34:17)

We. We literally drove a mile out and now everyone's taking a nap on the back. Look at that hair. That looks like. He looks like a gangster.

Chrissy Hoadley (34:28)

I know.

Brian Greene (34:28)

He looks like.

Chrissy Hoadley (34:30)

And that chain. Wow.

Brian Greene (34:32)

Oh, that chain and that leather skin. Wow. That's my future.

Chrissy Hoadley (34:36)

Needs to do some something.

Brian Greene (34:37)

That's future Brian. Yeah. You think a guy who takes care of his skin like this would. His body like this would be attuned to these kind of things. Okay.

F (34:45)

I mean, God bless my beautiful friends for inviting us on their boat with.

Chrissy Hoadley (34:52)

The captain and the string to drive around.

Brian Greene (34:56)

Yeah.

F (34:56)

For the full day.

Brian Greene (34:57)

I'm sure that's what he was looking at all day long.

F (35:00)

Beautiful, beautiful friends. If you did enjoy the video, if you enjoyed all the little clips, I.

Brian Greene (35:05)

Mean, that hair looks terrible. It looks terrible.

Chrissy Hoadley (35:08)

Yeah. All right, give the natural sun a thumbs up.

F (35:11)

Let me hear your comments. I'd love to hear from you. My name is Frank Bernardo. I was. See all of you in the next video.

Brian Greene (35:19)

Yes, you will. There's promises of more videos, Chrissy, so that's good. Okay, now let's flip back. This comes out the very next day, two days, three days later, something like that. He's back in Chicago.

Chrissy Hoadley (35:29)

Okay.

Brian Greene (35:30)

He's back in his apartment with his 1980s wood paneled apartment. Yeah. This is such a vast difference between his yacht and Then watch this poor guy. This is all you need to know about Frankie.

F (35:45)

You have got to check this out. You've got. You've got to look at my sauce. All right. I'm proud. All right? I've been doing this now for a while. I took all the recipes from what I absorbed throughout my childhood through my.

Brian Greene (36:01)

Grandma, to my mother, and he's a Chef Yakimoto, Chrissy. He's absorbed the many, many generations of Italian cooking and put it right. He's a Chef Boyardee, if you don't mind. A chef man. Od. Chef Frankie B. I'm doing it. You got.

F (36:21)

Check this out. This thing off for you. Hold on.

Brian Greene (36:30)

That looks absolutely disgusting.

Chrissy Hoadley (36:32)

I don't know what that is.

Brian Greene (36:33)

It's his sauce.

Chrissy Hoadley (36:34)

Sausage.

Brian Greene (36:35)

Yeah, but do you put sausage and oil and.

Chrissy Hoadley (36:39)

Oh, well, I mean, the tomato sauce can kind of get a little watery on the top like that, but yeah, it doesn't look great.

Brian Greene (36:47)

Do you cook sauce in a crock pot? Shouldn't you be cooking it, like on the stove or something? Not in a pressure cooker? I don't understand what's going on here. Yeah, but look at the vast difference between the lifestyle he's trying to portray in his Pardo yacht and he's now like, therefore, Micah Connor tops with the sauce in the crock pot. Baby, don't go nowhere.

F (37:14)

Look at this.

Chrissy Hoadley (37:17)

Tuesday evening, 5:57.

F (37:20)

Are you kidding me? Look at the oil. Look at the oil.

Brian Greene (37:24)

Oh.

Chrissy Hoadley (37:24)

Oh, yeah.

Brian Greene (37:25)

That's what I don't want to look at. Can we drain the oil? Do we have to eat the oil, too?

F (37:29)

We got meatballs. Meatballs. We got sausage, sausage, pork neck bones.

Chrissy Hoadley (37:36)

Oh, oh.

F (37:37)

And then we got pork short ribs in here. Look at the pork bones.

Brian Greene (37:43)

I have not heard of pork neck bones. Sausage, sausage, meatballs, short ribs, turkey innards, chicken offal, string bikini from the beach trip. Look at all the oil. Look at all the oil that came straight off of my forehead. Straight off of my forehead. I've absorbed literally thousands of years of Italian cooking and I put it all into this one crock pot I bought in 1982, my first wedding. And look at it. Doesn't it look beautiful, Chrissy? Al, I gotta ask you just one thing. Now, do you remember the mountain monsters that the guy that the commercial break did where they found that cow killing bastard?

Chrissy Hoadley (38:27)

Yes.

Brian Greene (38:27)

And they found the. The innards of the cow on the ground. Doesn't this sauce. Doesn't this look exactly like that? That's right.

F (38:35)

Falling apart. All right, then in a little Bit. I'm gonna throw on some pasta and throw in some.

Chrissy Hoadley (38:41)

Yeah, well, he has been drinking. He has been drinking and he has changed his tune.

Brian Greene (38:47)

Yes.

Chrissy Hoadley (38:48)

From his very measured eating.

Brian Greene (38:50)

Very measured eating.

Chrissy Hoadley (38:51)

Tuna and. And what? Tuna. Tuna.

Brian Greene (38:55)

Deviled egg. Tunas. Tuna, eggs. I don't know what it was, but it was gross.

F (39:00)

Not a lot. A little bit. I'm telling you, back in the day, when I grew up, we had Italian. Is it Wednesdays?

Brian Greene (39:14)

Wow. This is very different from the guy who would put out highly edited videos where he was the opposite of whatever this is.

Chrissy Hoadley (39:23)

Yes.

Brian Greene (39:24)

Charged up to the max. So this is drunk. That is coked up. I don't know. I'm not saying he was. I'm just saying his neck is leathery. His hair plugs have not taken root. I guess all that money he spent on the hair plugs didn't work.

Chrissy Hoadley (39:36)

Yeah.

Brian Greene (39:37)

And he just doesn't look good to me. I don't know.

Chrissy Hoadley (39:40)

It's also the angle that he's showing himself at.

Brian Greene (39:42)

Yeah. Don't go from the chin up. Astron always says when we're taking pictures, like, go from. Go down.

Chrissy Hoadley (39:47)

Yes.

Brian Greene (39:47)

Don't go up, go down.

Chrissy Hoadley (39:49)

Right.

Brian Greene (39:49)

And I'm always raising the camera for her and all this other stuff. Now I'm starting to agree with her.

Chrissy Hoadley (39:52)

Oh, well.

F (39:53)

And it was.

Brian Greene (39:53)

Yeah.

F (39:54)

Sundays. My mother used to cook pasta Wednesdays and Sundays, like clockwork. The whole thing. I love it.

Frank Bernardo (40:04)

I'll never forget.

Chrissy Hoadley (40:05)

Be eating carbs.

Brian Greene (40:07)

Yeah.

Chrissy Hoadley (40:08)

Is surprising to me.

Brian Greene (40:09)

I agree with you. He used to just be a gym rat. But listen, so are the seasons of life. We have known Frankie long enough to know that he is going through a season of life.

Chrissy Hoadley (40:17)

I'm glad to see he's letting his hair down.

Brian Greene (40:19)

This is the time to get him. This is when we bring Frankie on the commercial break.

F (40:24)

That Italian tradition. It was really, really good stuff.

Brian Greene (40:31)

Yeah, it was really, really good stuff.

Chrissy Hoadley (40:34)

Wow.

Brian Greene (40:35)

All right, one more video. We're not gonna get all the way through it because we got a time. We got a deadline here. And I'm sorry. I always get so crazy about Frankie B. Videos, but here, let me see if I can pull this one up. Okay. Here he is.

Chrissy Hoadley (40:46)

Oh.

Brian Greene (40:47)

In the car.

Chrissy Hoadley (40:47)

In the car. The classic car moment.

Brian Greene (40:50)

Let's see if we can get three rocket.

F (40:51)

So this morning, I'm this clip on Instagram, and there's this.

Brian Greene (40:56)

This Brian Green. I swear to God, I thought that was coming.

F (41:01)

Big buff dude. And he's saying that working out, when you work out, less is more. He's Got the secret recipe. You know, I had to keep watching because I was actually blown away. There's actually some moron telling you, telling us guys, that working out less, you're gonna get better results. It was the most absurd, obscene thing that I have ever heard.

Brian Greene (41:34)

Says the guy who tells people how to work out. Eat, date, cheat, talk, walk, hair plugs, everything obscene. He really took offense to this. Yes.

F (41:48)

This video off. Because we gotta talk about this.

Chrissy Hoadley (41:51)

And the guy was buff.

Brian Greene (41:53)

Yes.

Chrissy Hoadley (41:53)

And I think Frankie might have.

Brian Greene (41:55)

Yeah.

Chrissy Hoadley (41:56)

Been admiring how buff he was.

Brian Greene (41:57)

But now here comes his old intro, the rocket. Rocket. Let's take a look at Frankie back then. Hair coiffed. Looking good. Skin tight.

Chrissy Hoadley (42:17)

Fitness.

Brian Greene (42:17)

Fitness.

F (42:18)

Fashion.

Brian Greene (42:19)

Lifestyle. Fun. Females farting. Ball waxing.

F (42:28)

What is going on? Everybody? And I welcome you to the video. If this is your first time here, let me introduce myself. My name is Frank Bernardo. I built this channel for.

Chrissy Hoadley (42:36)

Is that a Costco?

Brian Greene (42:38)

He's at an Osco. Osco. Jewel Osco. It's our Kroger. It's our Kroger up in Chicago. Yeah, actually, Gustavo is in Chicago now. And he called and he said, what's the grocery store around? What's the grocery store chain I should look for? And I said, jewel Osco. But Jewel Osco's, they've been around since, like, the 60s. So when you walk into a Jewel Osco, it's like walking straight into a grocery store from the 60s. Some of them in the 60s who.

F (43:04)

Want to up their game, look and feel better about themselves.

Brian Greene (43:07)

Did he.

Chrissy Hoadley (43:07)

Did he have to do it in the parking lot?

Brian Greene (43:09)

No. He could have done this at his salon suite. Honestly, he could have gone home. He had to get that angry about a video that he saw. Waiting for somebody to come out of the Jewel Osco.

F (43:20)

Grooming, Fitness. Fashion in lifestyle.

Brian Greene (43:23)

Lifestyle. Still doesn't use his teas. Lifestyle.

F (43:26)

Real quick. If you do like the video, if you think I'm right in this, do me a favor. Give the video a like.

Brian Greene (43:32)

All right, let's.

F (43:33)

Let's talk about. With this. Numbskull is saying, wow, he's so charged up. The preface of my video is, for all the older guys out there. You gotta be careful on what you're watching out there, because everyone's the expert and everyone's trying to sell you something. Everyone's trying to sell you on their program. So getting back to this.

Brian Greene (43:59)

Not unlike you, not Frankie. He's not trying to sell you on anything. All right, you know what? We're not gonna have time to finish this video. So you Know what we'll do? We'll put this in the back burner.

Chrissy Hoadley (44:09)

Okay.

Brian Greene (44:10)

We'll save this for the next.

Chrissy Hoadley (44:11)

In the back crock pot.

Brian Greene (44:12)

In the back. In the crock pot with all the sausage, the turkey necks, the chicken legs, then the nails from Frankie's toes. I love Frankie. Hey, he's alive. We know he's alive. He's alive. He's kicking. He's hanging out. That's right. With string bikinis and chocolate starfish. And that one girl that doesn't belong said Chrissy. Said Chrissy.

Chrissy Hoadley (44:39)

Well, she just didn't look like she was that into it in the group as the other two were.

Brian Greene (44:43)

She looked like the kind of girl we'd probably hang out with. The other two are. If you don't have a yacht, you're probably not hanging out with them. Let's put it this way. If that girl with the. With the string bikini had come on my boat, it would have been a one piece bathing suit she would have worn. But I think she's the kind of girl who changes her outfit based on what kind of boat she's going in. We all know the girls. Come on. And we all know the guys, to be fair. Yeah, we know the guys. Listen, I go into my pool in the backyard. I'm wearing my fishes of my little fishes. I go to. I go to my orca. I'm wearing the 13 inch bright pink, the European Victory V. But mine's more like a Victory B. Not a V, but a B for Brian. Like bulging over the band. Double bulging. You've written a B before. It's got two bulges. The double bulge. It's a top one and a bottom one. It's okay. I'm not looking to be Frankie B. I'm just looking to be me. All right. Okay. This is episode number only one Frankie. I know. There's only going to be one Frankie ever. All right, listen, one more episode just to wrap it up and say thank you. Short little episode. So stay tuned. As soon as we can get it out, we'll get it out, but it'll be today for sure. Thanks very much to our sponsor, Five Hour Energy for sponsoring the entire day and giving this to us with limited commercial interruptions. I'm sure you enjoyed that just as much as we did. Thank you to Chrissy for agreeing to do this. Thank you to Astrid for helping. Thank you to Noemi. Thank you to Jeff for letting Chrissy scoot away for an entire day. Thanks to tina, Marianne, Rachel McGrath. So many others we can thank Jenny and Sean. And Sean and everybody. All right, we'll be back. Chrissy. That's all I can do for this moment.

Chrissy Hoadley (46:47)

Oh, I think so.

Brian Greene (46:48)

I love you. I love you and best of you out there in the podcast universe. We'll be back. We'll flip it over here real quick. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. Sam, I gotta get some cocaine.

Unknown (47:33)

Driving me crazy.

Brian Greene (47:39)

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