TCP: We're Just Like You!

Summary

The Commercial Break: "We're Just Like You!"

Episode Date: December 6, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Producer/Third Mic: Christina
Theme: Embracing the Chaotic, Relatable Messiness of Everyone’s Lives

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Bryan and Krissy break in TCB’s new studio by riffing on everything from luxury sneaker trends and hipster Thanksgiving desserts to viral stories about men peeing in bottles by the bed. Along the way, they dissect the Hunter Biden pardon, cruise ship disasters, doppelgangers in the wild, and the unique challenge of having your look-alike take over your life. Their signature back-and-forth is boosted by Christina’s quick interjections and a few classic “TMI” confessions, all delivered in their typical “cheesecake factory of podcasts” style—chaotic, self-aware, and intentionally off the rails.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Studio Vibes and Sneaker Culture

• Celebrating the new studio north of Atlanta (“You figure it out,” [01:19]), the hosts joke about protecting their privacy and the new neon sign/table setup.
• Bryan teases Krissy about her Air Jordans purchase, leading to a larger discussion on sneaker resale madness ([03:07]).
  • Quote, Bryan: “Which podcast is that? And do they need a host?” ([03:19])
• Stories about overpriced “distressed” fashion on Rodeo Drive and knock-offs via Temu.
  • Quote: “These motherfuckers buy a parachute, tennis shoes from Fibu or Emu…running out in the street in puddles and you're paying a $1,000 markup to get used shoes and clothing with holes in it.” ([05:25])

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2. Low-Key Thanksgiving, Food Memories, & Roll Discourse

• Both enjoyed chill Thanksgivings—Krissy’s small group went for restaurant food and homemade pies ([06:18]), Bryan’s family ditched turkey for “backup ham legs” ([07:14]).
• Deep dive into rolls, specifically Sister Schubert’s vs. Chicago’s Jewel bakery rolls, and Bryan’s nostalgia for his aunt’s bakery-smelling house.
  • Quote: “My aunt always smelled like bread, which was delicious to me. I wanted to eat my aunt sometimes. I didn't say eat out my aunt. Everyone settle down. I said, eat my aunt.” ([08:36])

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3. Hunter Biden, Pardons & Political Double Standards

• Fresh news: President Biden’s broad pardon for Hunter Biden triggers a debate on the ethics and optics of presidential pardons.
  • Bryan: “You can't yell and scream that the house is on fire when you're the one that lit the match.” ([11:14])
• Contrast with Gerald Ford/Nixon; both hosts express resignation about the “fuck it” nature of modern politics ([13:38]).
• Rant about Atlanta’s disregard for red lights as a metaphor for wider chaos ([12:07]).

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4. Men Peeing in Bottles: Viral Gross-Out & Manners

• The NY Post story about men urinating in bottles next to their beds becomes a hilarious, horrified tangent.
  • Quote, Bryan: “Guys, where did we learn this? Who picked this up on a road trip?” ([18:01])
  • Krissy, baffled: “You're in your own home and you're having to do this and not sit up…?” ([18:57])
• Everyone agrees it’s acceptable only in emergencies (road trip, snowstorm, “Carnival poop cruise” disaster).
  • Christina: “That's a deal breaker for me. Absolutely not.” ([25:17])
  • Quote, Bryan: “It is absolutely, fantastically gross. And guys think, stop this. This all started with Joe Rogan, I bet.” ([19:16])

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5. Pee, Poop & Survival: Cruise Ship Catastrophes

• Bryan recounts the “Carnival poop cruise”—a cruise ship fire led to no toilets, people depositing waste in bags in the hallways, and pure maritime misery.
  • Bryan: “Carnival says no, wait, we can't afford to get you off the boat…So what we're gonna do is let you shit in a can for the next seven days.” ([32:23])
• Discussion about the pros and cons of cruising—the group concludes most people are cruise-averse (claustrophobia, being “shuffled around,” risk of being left behind at port).
• Krissy: “I don't think I want to be shuffled around. If I like a place, I want to stay, hang out, enjoy it.” ([34:05])

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6. Doppelgangers, Glitches in the Matrix & Celebrity Lookalikes

• Brady Feigl story: Two semi-pro baseball pitchers with the same name, same injury, same treatment, same look, and same birthday—yet NOT related ([40:18]).
  • Bryan: “Are we in a simulation and the simulation has glitched and it's made a doppelganger?” ([41:07])
• The hosts debate whether they’d want to meet their own doppelganger; brainstorm a “Tinder for doppelgangers” website ([46:15]).
• They share their own lookalike stories (Bryan: Jason Statham, Jason Segel; Krissy: Ashley Judd).
  • Christina, deadpan: “You're just bald.” ([50:15])
• TV tangent: Sam Levinson’s Euphoria and Ryan Murphy as an “equal opportunity nudist”—Hollywood’s evolving standards for onscreen nudity ([54:29]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kickoff Self-Deprecation:
  • Bryan: “I always make it sound much more lame than it actually is. I'm like, yeah, it's just me and my friend and we're talking...” ([00:29])
• On Bread Nostalgia:
  • Bryan: “I wanted to eat my aunt sometimes. I didn't say eat out my aunt. Everyone settle down. I said, eat my aunt. I wanted to eat her. I wanted to take a bite of her.” ([08:36])
• On Atlanta’s Traffic Lawlessness:
  • Bryan: “Red lights have now just become suggestions here in Atlanta.” ([12:07])
• Bryan’s “pee in a bottle” PSA:
  • “Guys, get with it. Get up, pull your morning boner together and go pee in the toilet.” ([19:16])
• Christina’s Dealbreaker:
  • “That's a deal breaker for me. Absolutely not. First of all, I also don't want to touch your dick hands.” ([25:17])
• Poop Cruise Visual:
  • “Carnival says…we can't afford to get you off the boat and back to safety. So what we're gonna do is we're just gonna let you [shit] in a can for the next seven days.” ([32:23])
• On Doppelganger Discovery:
  • “Are we in a simulation and the simulation has glitched and it's made a doppelganger…it forgot it made two.” ([41:07])
• Self-Awareness:
  • “I already feel embarrassed enough about The Commercial Break, but you know, I don’t have to say I talk about dick shaped decanters.” ([46:51])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:14] — New studio, privacy jokes, Krissy’s Air Jordans, and sneaker culture
• [06:03] — Thanksgiving recap, food talk, Bryan’s bread-scented aunt
• [10:32] — Sister Schubert’s rolls and iconic bakery stories
• [10:35] — Hunter Biden broad pardon, presidential power, and Atlanta traffic metaphor
• [17:10] — Kicking off the “pee in a bottle” debate
• [18:57] — Acceptable vs. totally unacceptable peeing situations
• [29:27] — Carnival’s “poop cruise” and cruise ship disaster stories
• [33:34] — Why people are cruise-averse; cruise structure pros/cons
• [40:18] — Doppelganger story: the case of two identical Brady Feigls
• [46:15] — Would you want to meet your doppelganger? Brainstorming a matching website
• [49:44] — Hosts’ personal and celebrity lookalike stories
• [54:29] — Hollywood nudity equality: Ryan Murphy vs. Sam Levinson
• [55:52] — Atlanta cold snap, dads, and daughters

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Final Notes

• The hosts bring the chaotic, “unfiltered friend group” energy — no subject is too trivial (or gross).
• Christina adds fact-checks and quips with perfect comedic timing, e.g., “You're just bald.” ([50:15])
• Promos for their 12 Days of TCB and reminders for listeners to engage via text, IG, TikTok, and YouTube.

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In the words of Bryan Green ([58:11]):
“Best to you, best to you and best to you out there on the podcast ass universe!”

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For fans: This episode is a classic TCB mix—a relatable, ridiculous chat that finds the humor and wisdom in the everyday while always zigzagging off script.

Transcript

[A]

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. On this episode of the Camorra commercial break. I always make it sound much more lame than it actually is. I'm like, yeah, it's just me and my friend and we're talking, we're talking.

[B]

About each other's lives.

[A]

Like you and your friend. When you talk about, you know, the inside of an. When you talk about the poop cruise.

[B]

You know, even your friend pee in a jar.

[A]

That's right. When you and your buddy get together and talk about all your sexual exploits live on air. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of the show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[B]

Betsy Bryant.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on this Friday edition of the commercial break from our brand new studio that's right here somewhere north of Atlanta, Georgia. You figure it out and I've given you all the clues. All you have to do is piece the puzzle together or google my name on one of those shitty websites. You can now request Google take off your personal information. Really from the search engines. Did you know that like all identifying information, phone numbers, addresses, Social Security numbers, if those are available. You can now request that Google take all of that information down like automatically in all you have to do is put submit a request to Google, which I did the other day because let.

[B]

Me google how to do that now.

[A]

Notably famous and I don't want the throngs of fans finding out where I.

[B]

Showing up at your door.

[A]

No, Astrid would not be cool with that. First fan that shows up at the door, this show is over. So it's a threat and a promise because Astrid will not have it. So welcome to the new studio, Chrissy. It looks really good.

[B]

It looks really good. Everybody did a great job.

[A]

Well, thank you. I'll take credit for all of it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Even though it wasn't on me, it was mainly Astrid, but I'll take it.

[B]

We have a brand new neon sign.

[A]

We have brand new neon signs. We've got a table.

[B]

Table.

[A]

We look more relaxed. You can now, see my socks? You can see your shoes.

[B]

My shoes.

[A]

That's. What are you wearing today? What's. What do you got on there?

[B]

I've got all my Air Jordans.

[A]

Look at you. How much are those? What do those run you? What do those cost you?

[B]

They weren't that. Nike was having a sale. I think they were like, I don't know, 100, 120.

[A]

$120. Look at that. I mean, making the big bucks.

[B]

People pay.

[C]

Crazy.

[A]

Podcast is paying.

[B]

I am moonlighting on another. No, those, you know, sneakers. Sneaker sales are crazy.

[A]

I know. There's that website where they resell the. The sneakers. What is that? Oozle, Boozle? Snoozle?

[B]

I don't know. I'm not making that kind of money yet. On my other podcast.

[A]

If you're making money on another podcast, I want in on that podcast. Which podcast is that? And do they need a host? Yeah, there's a whole trend where guys, girls, they go out, they buy these shoes.

[B]

The limited edition.

[A]

The limited edition, and then they resell them on a website, which now I'm seeing commercials for. You know, that Astrid and I went. I think it was in. I want to say it was in Los Angeles. And we were down on Rodeo Drive, and we went to a store, very fancy. Rodeo Drive is really big. Huge, huge mistake. And then we went to, like, the cheesecake factors. Honestly, we went to some.

[B]

Did you see Kanye?

[A]

No, I think we went to Brio. You know that. That place. Brio.

[B]

Br. Oh, yes.

[A]

I did not see Kanye. Or Bianca. And her nipples did not see that.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Or her vagina. So we went to, like, a Brio. Like a. Like a nice porch on Rodeo Drive. And it was beautiful.

[B]

I love Brio, actually.

[A]

Yeah, Brio was very good. And I found it to be pleasant on my wallet. So everything else on Rodeo Drive was crazy. Some places it said. There was, like, a place that said on the front door, reservations absolutely required. Don't even ask. And I was like, that is, like, a really fucking shitty thing to say.

[B]

Wow. I know. Don't even think about it.

[A]

So don't even think about it. We went to a store, and Astrid's like, I gotta go to this store. It's all the rage. Everyone's talking about it on Instagram. So we go into this store, and it's all weathered clothing, used shoes, and, like, everything has a hole in it, has dirt, has mud, and nothing. And I mean, nothing is less than a thousand dollars.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Nothing. And Astrid's like, this is all the Rage to buy jeans from here to buy these shoes. And I was like, these. These motherfuckers. These motherfuckers buy a parachute, tennis shoes from Fibu or Emu or whatever that Japanese Chinese website is. What is that Japanese website? Everyone's into temu. Is it Temu? Christina here in the studio with us?

[B]

Yes. She's able to help.

[A]

Hi, Christina. Hi.

[C]

Gave you a little thumbs up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you. Temu. Am I right about it?

[C]

Temu, yeah, that's that website.

[A]

I think we got our first TEMU package the other day. I saw it. It said from temu. Anyway, so these motherfuckers are buying, you know, knockoff designer clothing on temu. They're running out in the street in puddles and then they're bringing them back indoors, scuffing them up a little. And you're paying $1,000 markup to get used shoes and clothing with holes in it. I'm going to get asked her to tell me what the name of this store was because I want to shout them out as a place to never go fucking ridiculous. So anyway, I like your shoes. That's good. Good for you with the air Jordans again. I don't know how you're affording those. Jeff must be bringing in revenue. And how is Jeff? How was the Thanksgiving holiday now that we're back?

[B]

The than Thanksgiving holiday was great.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think we've already recorded our. Our post Thanksgiving show, but we have.

[A]

But now that we're actually back from Thanksgiving, now that we're not pretending to be back from Thanksgiving anymore.

[B]

It was wonderful. Super low key.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there were just five of us. That's the way I wanted it. And less. Less stress because we ordered everything.

[A]

You guys are.

[B]

You know, there were a few homemade pies down there, but that's okay.

[A]

You're such homemade pie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

First of all, there's five of us. That's just the way I like it. Is. That's what she said. Second of all, they're homemade pies. That's what she said that. You are so hipster. You are just the new. You are new and fresh and living itp. Getting everything created and made for you. It's probably very delicious. I will say.

[B]

How does yours go?

[A]

I'm not sick.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's a win.

[A]

I am not on the toilet right now. We're not taking time off. I haven't lost any weight. I've gained it. So I consider that a W all round.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

The food Was delicious. Listen, there was.

[B]

There was a turkey.

[A]

There was no turkey.

[B]

You were going to do it.

[A]

Somebody was going to do a turkey. And I guess that. Abort. Yeah, abort, abort. The turkey is terrible. So we had a ham leg.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We had two ham legs, actually. One was like the sliced ham that you would get at a place, but they cooked it. And I would say that that one probably fell short of expectations. So then my dad had like a backup ham leg. That is a bone in it. It was like, you know, he backed up the. He backed up the food with additional food. And thank God he did, because then he said, come over here and get this ham. And I did. I just ate a little bit of it. Just enough to taste it and make sure that it was pleasant.

[B]

Yeah. And it was good.

[A]

Yeah, sure it was. No, I did a good job. Everybody did a good job cooking. I have no complaints about the food this year. Mac and cheese, stuffing, potatoes au grat, and rolls. The kind that you like to eat. The homemade, yeasty, put a pound on every time you eat one kind of rolls.

[B]

Yeah, we do. Sister Schubert's love those.

[A]

What are Sister Schubert's?

[B]

You don't know Sister Schubert's?

[A]

I've never met a Sister Schubert.

[B]

I'm gonna bring you over a little pan of them. They're delicious.

[A]

They're like, what?

[B]

They're like a cult favorite, too. People love them. Yes. They come in a round little pan and they're small. They're like that big.

[A]

Oh. And they're all packed together. Oh. And then you cook them and they bloom.

[B]

They don't bloom too much. But yeah, you do cook them and then you eat them and they're delicious.

[A]

My aunt. My dad's sister, Babs Barbara, we call her Babs Babs from Chicago. She used to run the. There's a famous grocery store chain up there named Jewel. And so Jewel Osco, I think is what it's called now, Jewel Osco. And she used to run the bakery Chicago for Juul. And Jewel is, like, based in Chicago. So it's the. Or maybe. And maybe now they're in Ohio. I'm not sure. I think they're owned by Kroger now. But Juul had this huge bakery. And the bakery would run like 24 hours a day, creating all of the breads and the muffins and the morning cakes and the coffee cakes and the. And the rolls. And so first of all, my aunt always smelled like bread, which was delicious to me. I wanted to eat my aunt sometimes. I didn't say eat out my aunt. Everyone settled down. I said, eat my aunt. I wanted to eat her. I wanted to take a bite of her. You know how that goes sometimes people smell so good, you want to eat them like babies. Baby's little toes. You want to eat them.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Or the cheeks.

[A]

Yeah, but don't do that in public. People think it's weird when you start biting your kids toes in public. Give me those little nubs. So we would go to work sometimes with Babs, Aunt Babs and Aunt Babs would, she had this big office, but the in, in the office you could see right out this glass window all of these dinner rolls that were just freshly baked coming down the little conveyor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You could run over there and take one. This was the time when the, you know, food quality was different. Back then if you, if no one was dying or if they didn't get a rat in your food, then you know, it was acceptable. So you would just go and just grab a roll off the, off the conveyor belt.

[B]

It was so good.

[A]

We had them at every dinner. Every dinner Babs would bring over those jewel rolls. A coffee cake for, for dessert. It was, it was delicious. I loved it. And so it's hard to, for me to replicate that exact taste of those jewel rolls, but I'm going to try Sister Schubert's because it sounds like a thing that could be like the jewel rolls.

[B]

Yeah, they're, they're delectable.

[A]

So. Okay, well, good. I'm glad you had a good. Thanks. Guess who else is having a good Thanksgiving, is that Hunter Biden is having a good Thanksgiving. I just thought I'd mention this as we're recording this and it just, it just happened. So it's coming out on Friday as we're recording this. Hunter Biden has now been broadly, broadly pardoned BY his father, Mr. President Joe Biden, for all criminal activity in a certain period of time, which is the power of the President. That's one of the, yeah, that's one of the king like powers that survives constitutionally for our president. You can pardon him. And of course, we all, some of us up in arms when President Trump started handing out pardons like candy. And I'm sure he'll do it again because now Pandora's box is officially opened. Here's my personal opinion on this. You can't yell and scream that the house is on fire when you're the one that lit the match. Right. And so I don't, I know, I get it. Joe Biden is. Or Hunter Biden isn't.

[B]

Gerald Ford. Pardon, Nixon. So it started back then, but, yeah, I agree.

[A]

But he did that for the good of the country, because the country really was very divided. A lot of people. A lot of people.

[B]

And it's not now.

[A]

No, it's not. I feel good. Yeah. I feel good driving on the streets. I feel like it's so much more pleasant these days than it was even just four years ago. It's so much more pleasant. Not. People are not trying to murder me with their car at every turn because. And by the way, red lights have now just become suggestions here in Atlanta. You have to be fucking. This is insane.

[B]

Stop signs.

[A]

Where are the police officers to pull somebody over and make an example out of somebody? Everyone is ignoring red lights in Atlanta, and I'm sure this is going on nationwide. And I know in Atlanta, like, anger driving. Driving pissed off is a sport. I do it. But I got to be honest. Like, it's really dangerous. People are not paying attention to red lights or they are ignoring them altogether. It's like when the light turns red. It used to be when the light turns yellow, that means go faster. It used to be when the light turns yellow, that means four more cars. But by the time the light turned red, used to be most people had stopped on the line. Not anymore. Light turns red, it's six additional cars. Go. You have to really pay attention getting out there in the middle of an intersection, because people. I don't know. I guess we've just all lost our sense of law. I have no idea. But this goes back to, like, Hunter Biden and Joe Biden. I think this is a big mistake on Joe Biden's behalf because you can't claim to be the good guys living up to the standards of this and that and the other thing. And then when nobody's looking and everybody's looking, by the way, just go ahead and pardon your son for criminal activity. I know Hunter is a big target of the. Right. And there's conspiracy theories left and right about the laptop. The laptop. The laptop, which is. You know, I don't. I don't know, but I think this is not a great move on Joe Biden's behalf, but I also understand where Joe's coming from. It's his son.

[B]

He's lost children before, and he's lost the election, and. And Kamala lost, too. So he's like, fuck it.

[A]

Yeah, he's like, fuck it.

[B]

I mean, that's the way I saw it.

[A]

He's like, fuck it. He's also 98 years old. So he's like, I'm going to live two more years. What do I care? I don't want my son to have to, you know, carry this weight on his back forever and ever. But I just think it's not a. I just don't think it's a great look. But if I was president, I'd probably. Yeah, a little crack. Some hookers, $500 million from Ukraine. I mean, what are we talking about here? What's a little crack amongst friends? I don't know exactly. But, you know, just to like. I don't want to cast dispersions as. I used to buy cocaine out of a kid's Margarita cup and Chili's, but, you know, I gotta get some cocaine. Driving me crazy. Crazy.

[B]

Good job, Christina.

[A]

Good job, Christina. That's Christina on the buttons.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

That was hard.

[A]

Christina's like, I've been waiting all show to use that one button. But, you know, Hunter did have a bad, bad addiction problem. I think that led to a lot of poor choices. I don't know how much criminality went on. And, you know, when you're a famous person and you are on the wrong side of the irs, you're going to be made an example of. That's just the truth. They can't go after everybody, so they go after the famous people so that everybody else is scared to fuck with the irs.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And, you know, so I get it. But at the same time, you know, what's good for the goose, Chrissy, has got to be good for the gander. If that is, in fact, what we're calling it. A gander, isn't it? Is it a flock or a gander?

[B]

A flock of geese.

[A]

Can we figure that out? It's a flock of geese. Christina says it's a flock of geese. I think we should trust what Christina says because she seems like someone that might know information that we otherwise just guess on. This has been a show of Brian's musings and complete misinformation. And now we might be fact checked here and there.

[B]

I think I like it.

[C]

Can I just tell you, a gander is a male goose.

[A]

A gander. Okay, so what's good for the goose?

[C]

I've been waiting to tell you guys.

[A]

That for a really long time. Thank you. All right. Thank you. We finally know what's good for the goose. A female goose. Right? Okay. Good for the gamut.

[B]

The male.

[A]

The male goose.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There you go. All right, well, listen, we have lots more exciting stuff to Talk about here on today's episode. I'll figure it out on the break.

[B]

We'll just let it flow. This is kind of our first foray.

[A]

This is our first foray into the. Into the new studio, new setup. It's weird not to have a table.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's weird not to be pressing buttons. I don't know what to do with my hands. So if I start grabbing my crotch at any point, Chrissy, remind me that's impolite at the dinner table.

[B]

I will let you know.

[A]

Thank you. And the jewel rolls. I will not be putting my hands on my jewel rolls. Okay, let's take a break and. Yeah, we'll be back.

[C]

In a shocking turn of events, it's me again, Christina, your producer and resident rom com lover here at the commercial break. And I just have one thing to say. I'm just a producer standing in front of an audience asking you to follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Text us or call us and leave us a voicemail. Because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with tcb, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And while you're at it, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com, but you don't have to because we like you just as you are. Now, if you immediately got those references, you're my kind of person. But it's time to take a break and listen to some. Some sponsors, and then we'll get back to the show.

[A]

All right, so we're. We're back. Hey, guess what.

[B]

What?

[A]

Have you ever known a man to pee in a bottle next to his bed because he finds that it's too much to get to the bathroom?

[B]

I have not.

[A]

Have you, Christina? Have you ever run into a man who does this?

[C]

No. That's disgusting.

[A]

I. It's absolutely horrid, and I cannot believe that what I am reading. Are you ready for this? New York Post, trusted source of all information. Women are venting that men store water bottles beside their beds so that they can urinate in them instead of getting up to use the bathroom. This disgusting hack has become a viral conversation online where women are coming together and sharing stories about their partner who used the concept as a lazy excuse to stay horizontal. Hannah confessed that she thought it was customary for men to urinate in bottles. I thought it was acceptable for him to piss in a bottle horizontal.

[B]

So you don't even. Like. You can't even.

[A]

You can't even be bothered. I mean, to stand up and get next to your bed. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. And I want to talk to the boys out there. Guys, where did we learn this? Who picked this up on a road trip? When your dad says, I told you to go to the bathroom before we left, okay. Pissing in a bottle is then and only then acceptable because your father is telling you, I'm not going to fucking stop the car. And you better not piss yourself.

[B]

Or if you're in a snowstorm.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

In Atlanta, that happened.

[A]

Yes. Okay. People were shitting on the side of the road. I saw. I saw a trucker taking a dump on the side of the road. It was really. But at that point, I. I understood. I felt empathy for the guy. Yeah, what's he going to do? He's been eating bean burritos from QT all night long. He needs to get it out. But there is no acceptable version of I am not like, no, you're in.

[B]

Your own home and you're having to do this and not sit up.

[A]

I'm not motivated enough to walk 22 steps to the bathroom. It's probably not even that even work.

[B]

Because you would have to turn bottle to then get.

[A]

I guess you turn to the side and then stick your dick in the bottle and then just pee. And then what? Put the cap on it for the rest of the night.

[B]

So gross.

[A]

What the is going on in here? I can't even believe it. It is absolutely, fantastically gross. And guys think, stop this.

[B]

Don't do that.

[A]

This all started with Joe Rogan, I bet. And I'll tell you why. It started with Joe Rogan, because he probably had some head on that said it was okay to. To drink your own piss. And everybody thinks piss is just yet another liquid we can keep around. Piss should go down a toilet, on a tree, or in the backyard like every other good human being does. This is a not an acceptable thing. Guys. Get with it. Get up, pull your morning boner together and go pee in the toilet. And that's the other thing. You got a morning boner. That thing's sticking straight up. What are you doing putting the. The Gatorade bottle upside down and pissing in it? I. I've never even. I've never even heard of.

[B]

No, it shouldn't be an option, but it should be off the table.

[A]

Absolutely. Totally agree, Chris. On this, we agree. And so I thought to myself, this cannot be a truth. Like, there clearly this is not True, there are not got many guys that are pissing next. This is New York Post fending for content like we do here at the commercial break.

[B]

From them.

[A]

Yes, from them piggybacking off of yet another piece of content that we need. So I go, okay, I'm gonna do a little research on this. And I didn't find one or three or 10. I found 30, 40 different posts where women were complaining about this or men were responding that, yes, I do this, it's acceptable. And I just am blown away. This is a generation, whoever these degenerates are, that are pissing in bottles and leaving them next to the. The side of the bed until the. Do you clean them up in the morning or do you just collect them until the. Until the end of the week when the trash guy comes. This is an unacceptable plus.

[B]

Think about the planet. Look at the bottles you're using.

[A]

Well, you already used the bottle. I guess, you know, at least you're reusing it in that sense. I guess you're recycling. I don't know, maybe there is some good.

[B]

Nicolas, you gotta throw the bottle away and that goes into the landfill.

[A]

Listen, if it's yellow, leaded, mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. That's what I gotta say.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I never. With two reasons. This is the only disgusting habit I think that I have regarding the bathroom. Besides the actual bathroom, going to the bathroom part. I do not flush the toilet at night when I pee. Yeah, I flush it in the morning because, number one, I don't want to wake up the baby.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They never wake up a sleeping baby. And number two, there's no need if it's just number two, there's no.

[B]

There's no number two.

[A]

Yeah, there's no number two. There's nothing to do. No number two. No, never.

[B]

That's right. No, I'm on board with that.

[A]

Yes, that's right.

[B]

That's approved.

[A]

I gotta say, guys, if you're one of these nudniks who are pissing in a bottle and leaving it on the side of the bed, it's amazing that a woman has even seen this. It's amazing that a woman has even been in your bedroom, let alone seen it and accepted it as a part of living with you, this is not a good look. There are a few things that should just. You should just do. And one of them is actually going to the toilet.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, unless there's like some kind of medical reason.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That you're doing this.

[A]

Have you ever been so Fucked up that you have pissed yourself. No, I have. I have one time.

[B]

One time.

[A]

One time I was at a guy. This is. I was very young. I was probably like 18 years old, 19 years old. We went to a friend's house. That friend lived with an older gentleman. The guy was probably in his 30s. And the guy hated my friend, hated this guy I was hanging out with because he was this young obnoxious alcoholic who would just run around, bring people home late at night. And this guy had like a real job. He had like a 9 to 5 job. Yeah, he was really. And, and here's why I say this. I'm saying this not to point or poke fun, but I'm saying this just to point out for the story. This guy was like morbidly obese. He was really, really big guy. Very, very sweet man when I met him. But you could tell the look of disdain on his face when he saw this guy that I was hanging out with, this other guy named Brian that I was hanging out with some. Two Brian's causing trouble with this guy running around town.

[B]

Causing trouble, yes.

[A]

And the guy, he did not have an easy time moving. So when he was in bed and then the couple times we would go to his house at night rather than get up and you know, say, hey, it's time to go to sleep. He had a megaphone next to his bed and he would scream into the megaphone, he would scream, you know, shut up. Which it was an apartment. So I never understood. Now you're just causing more. But anyway, he. That's what he would do. And it. So we would. So one night we come in there and we're twinkle toesing around because I'm like, I don't want to hear that megaphone. Like, it freaks me out. And it's one of the only times before I was 21 years old that I was actually really inebriated on alcohol. And we go to sleep, I sleep on the couch. I wake up on the couch and I am. It's just sopping wet. And I realize that I have peed myself, but I didn't pee myself, like in the traditional sense. What I realized had happened because the couch cushions were kind of wet, but the. Under the couch cushions were really wet. Right. And so what I did was I stuck my dick in between the couch cushions under that couch cushion.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I was just.

[B]

You like, thought that was the toilet?

[A]

I guess I thought that was something. A vagina. I don't know. I thought it was something I was. But that's the only time. The only time that I have ever peed outside of a toilet or a tree. And as a grown man, I've never found it. I've never even thought of pissing in a bottle. So you don't have to get up and walk around.

[B]

No.

[A]

Christina, would you. Would you be with a man that.

[C]

Would just stop right there.

[A]

Would I be with a man? Would you be with a man?

[B]

So there we go.

[A]

All right. If you were with men at this time in your life, would you find it. Would you find any reason to stay with a guy if he was pissing in a bottle and leaving it on the side of the table?

[C]

That's a deal breaker for me. Absolutely not.

[A]

That is the biggest red flag.

[C]

First of all, I also don't want to touch your dick hands. You know, like, if you're laying in your bed and then you're like, putting your hands on your penis to go pee, and then you got probably pee and penis on your hand. I don't turn around and touch me.

[A]

Yes. That's disgusting. It's all bad. It's all bad. And I. And I'm just. I'm pleading with the guys out there. Learn a little bit of manners. It goes a long way. Manners and a little bit of chivalry. I know not everyone loves chivalry, but I still think it's. I still think it's not a bad to hold the door and be polite and say please and thank you and all that stuff. And for God's sakes, don't piss in your empty Diet Coke can. What the fuck are we doing? Jesus, Chrissy.

[B]

I know If I could get a.

[A]

Hold of these guys. It all starts with Rogan. That's what I have to say. It all starts with him. He says, remember those people that were drinking piss and bathing themselves in the piss? No, you don't.

[B]

Do I. I do.

[C]

I couldn't forget it if I tried.

[A]

Was that Tina that did that episode? Maybe because they were gone.

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

I don't know. Anyway, you remember that? Yeah, that was. It was horrible. There was a couple and they would drink and shower in their own urine because it was life giving, basically. They were crazy people who needed mental help. And they were like. He was like, living with their. And they were two really attractive human beings. I'm talking like really attractive young human beings. And they were, like, staying with their parents for a period of time up in the Hamptons. Of course in the Hamptons, because that's where all the kooky Shit happens. They were in the Hamptons and they were bathing in their own urine. They were, like, pouring it on themselves and drinking it every 15, 20 minutes. It was really highly disturbing. And I think that's where maybe we get the sense that pee is not that bad and we can keep it next to our well.

[B]

I mean, if you're stuck in a desert, you know, and you have to. Or like on a. Stranded. On a boat, you have to. But that's the only case.

[A]

I don't. I don't think they're. I think even if I was stranded on a boat, I don't think I'd go there. I think I just start drinking seawater. Yeah. Or eating fish and hoping that the. The liquid from the fish.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I see myself as one of those guys who just reach down on, like, if I was on the life raft, I could just reach down and grab, like, a swordfish and just take a bite. I've had live octopus, you know, I.

[B]

Have experience with that.

[A]

Why not take a bite out of a swordfish? Why not take a bite out of the belly of a swordfish?

[B]

Picture like a dinghy, you know, out in the middle of the ocean, stranded, just grabbing swordfish.

[A]

Brian falls off a cruise ship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't even grab it. I just stick my head in the water and come up with a swordfish on my mouth.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, I mean, you gotta do something to survive out there. And without, you know, without the tools and resources. You just have to get. Get smart. But I don't think drinking my own urine would be an option. I just don't. I have no desire to drink my own urine, but I say that. But I've never been stranded.

[B]

Well, I was gonna say, you never know what you're gonna do when you have to survive.

[A]

There was the. I just read that there was a fisherman, like 30 of them that survived out in the Ocean for, like, 38 days. I read that in a dinghy or something like that. I don't know what the whole story was. I read it about a week ago. But that, to me, is an ultimate nightmare.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love the ocean. Love it when it's connected to a beach where I can see clearly how I get back to land. Unless I'm on a huge cruise ship or a pretty solid boat, which I've been out a lot. I've been out in the middle of the ocean a lot. But I don't care to think about being stuck out in the middle of the ocean.

[B]

That is definitely a nightmare space in.

[A]

The middle of the ocean. Those two places seem very scary to me, and I don't feel like there's a great reason to be out there. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if I'm crossing, if I'm on my way on a huge cruise ship where it's unlikely something bad, terrible, tragic is going to happen, I feel comfortable.

[B]

Except a sickness on board.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's another thing. Well, yeah, I mean, there is a case of that Carnival. Yeah, I just remember there.

[B]

I feel like there was a bunch of them that happened kind of in a row a while back.

[A]

Yeah. Carnival Cruises is the Kmart of cruising. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, if you look at Carnival Cruise videos, they're, it's, it's a certain price point and that leads to a certain crowd and it's a lot of fun and they encourage drinking and it's. It's a party boat, basically. And it's for young couples and, and, and adults that like to really ju it up. But I feel like Carnival is where all the terrible things happen. Guys jump off the boat for TikTok. You know, they're doing Tik Tok videos. Remember that?

[B]

The guy jumped off the boat for.

[A]

A Tik Tok video and, and a bunch of other stuff. But then Carnival has like a series of mishaps they've not handled all that well. Like the time that they were leaving Cancun, the engine blew. There was a fire in the engine room, and they got stranded out in the middle of the ocean being towed by essentially a tugboat. And it took them like eight days to get from where they were back to a port that could accept them. And because the engine had blown, they had to turn off all of, all of the necessary plumbing.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

A lot of the electricity. There was no wifi, no air conditioning. So you're in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, the south of the southern part of the Gulf of Mexico, and it is blazing hot. It's the summer. And then you've got no plumbing, no electricity, no wifi, no ac. You've got food, but it's scarce. And now the guy and I saw a documentary about this. The captain comes on at some point right after the fire happened where everybody thought they might actually have to jump off the ship. Luckily they don't. But then the captain comes on and says, you're going to have to pee in the shower and you're going to have to poo poo in a bag. And then I want you to put it out in a trash can out in the middle of the hallway. And we'll do our best to keep up with it. But of course, they don't have an incinerator because they've got no power. So they've got no power. They can't burn the poop like they normally do.

[B]

That was a nightmare.

[A]

That was a nightmare. And the documentary, because this happened just a couple of years ago, there's lots of footage of what was going on. And so people were taking, taking blankets and pillows and sleeping outside. It was miserably hot. Everybody's sweating. A lot of people were eating barely enough to stay alive because the eating.

[B]

Why didn't they want food?

[A]

Because you can't cook it.

[B]

Okay, Right.

[A]

I think they had gas stoves, but they, you know, they have food like they have non perishables that they can, you know, pass out. No one starved. But they are not eating, not because there's not food on board. There was and they could get like a, you know, I think that at one point there was like a cargo ship that came and brought some supplies and water or something like that.

[B]

Imagine, there you go, like throwing.

[A]

Here's what I'm saying. I'm walking up to the top of the ship and I'm saying, hey, doc, Captain, doctor here. Let's. Let's think about this reasonably. If you can get a cargo ship to bring us, can't you get a cargo ship to take us off? Can we go somewhere else? Can you, can you get another Carnival cruise to just butt up next to us and we'll walk over?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we'll get on that cruise and finish our drinking and gambling. Please. But no, for some reason, Carnival makes the incredibly dumb decision to just leave everybody on board and go on this essentially hell journey for seven, eight days where shit's collecting in the middle of the hallways, everybody's sleeping outside, and they have no stabilizers. So the boat is literally at the mercy of the waves.

[B]

Everybody's getting sick.

[A]

People are getting sick. No one, you know, everyone. No one has had a shower. So it's really becomes kind of this hellish landscape in this Carnival cruise, which is otherwise supposed to be like, you know, the fucking Bonnaroo of cruises. Everyone's out, you know, having fun and smelling like patchouli and drinking themselves silly. But no, Carnival says, no, wait, we, we can't afford to get you off the boat and back to safety. So what we're gonna do is we're just gonna let you in a can for the next seven days. And tow you back to wherever it is we're towing you to. Yeah. That is another place where I think it would be acceptable to go ahead and pee in that bottle because then you have to pee in the shower. Doesn't that get a little weird after a while? You have no running water, you're peeing in a shower. Yeah, yeah. Oh God. The whole thing's, maybe I'm not cruising anymore. I know I'm not taking cruises.

[B]

This was a big discussion actually, because my dad just went on this cruise and so, you know, people over Thanksgiving and the place that I went to afterwards were asking like, oh, how's your dad? Where's, what's he doing? And whatever. And so I said he was on a cruise. And it became a big topic of discussion amongst everybody about if you would cruise, do you cruise? Da da da. The overwhelming majority did not want to and did not.

[A]

The overwhelming majority decided they didn't want to cruise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At all. Yeah. And what were the, what were the reasonings?

[B]

Well, a couple of people said that they didn't like the fact of being just out in the middle of the ocean like that and not being able to see land. I, I cited the sicknesses that have happened on board. Plus I don't think I want to be shuffled around. Like if I like a place, I want to stay, hang out, enjoy it, explore it. It not be like, oh, time to get back at 5 o' clock to the boat.

[A]

Yeah. And if you're not back at 5 o', clock, it's leaving. They're leaving your ass. There are so many videos out there. It's fun. It's a game. You can go Google it. There's so many videos of cruise ships leaving people because they didn't get back on time and they think they're special. They think they're the, you know, the hero of the story and that they're going to be allowed back on the boat if they're at 502. It doesn't work that way. They are going regardless if you're there or not.

[B]

I mean, I see how it's a good way to see a lot of places in a short amount of time. You know, you kind of get to touch on things and I'm sure there's some beautiful scenery. But yeah, for me, and don't get me wrong, if someone gave me an all expense paid trip on a cruise, I'd go and I would make the most of it and have fun.

[A]

But here's what I would say.

[B]

That's not my first choice.

[A]

Here's what I would say about cruising. Having been on a number of them, I didn't think I would be a cruise person. And then I became a cruise person, but I didn't become a cruise person. We went on a Mediterranean cruise for 10 days. Incredible. Lovely. But there was a lot of rushing back and forth. But we made the choice to stay out of the crowds. We didn't go on, like, the tours and stuff like that. We made our own way. But that in and of itself presents its own challenges. But since we were in Europe and some places we had been, we felt like, okay, we can navigate this, but there is a clock, and it is ticking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it doesn't allow for a ton of time to do anything. You're there for, like, 10 hours max. 10 hours, and you got to get back. There's not a lot of time to go to Rome and see a bunch of stuff. Maybe you go to the Trevi Fountain, you come back. Right. That's it.

[B]

Did you have any people on that cruise that were late to get back?

[A]

We had one couple that there was consternation because the couple was not found. They didn't come back, and they weren't in communication. And I remember the captain coming back, but he let us know later that everything was fine. But they're like. We're saying, yeah, I think that's what happened.

[B]

Go without me.

[A]

Yeah, go without me. I'm done. I didn't like cruising, but, like, their luggage was on board, but they were gone. It was something. Some kind of event that happened on the. On the cruise ship that was talked about. But I remember that it all. It all turned out okay. I've never been on a cruise where, like, someone died or anything like that.

[B]

No.

[A]

But I will say this. The cruise ship in and of itself has to be the thing. You. You don't go. You can go for the locations, but the locations are not going to be where you're spending the most.

[B]

I was gonna say it's kind of like a hotel on sea.

[A]

I find that to be fascinating. I find it to be fascinating that you're floating on the Empire State Building, essentially, or an entire city. And you can. We went on that Oasis of the seas. I think it was, at the time, the second largest cruise ship in the world, and they've built even bigger cruise ships since then. It. I was.

[B]

It is fast.

[A]

I did not get to every corner of the ship. I was on it for 10 days. I didn't get to everything there was to see. Certainly didn't do everything. 17 restaurants, just so nightclubs, nightclubs, theaters, bars, theaters, game rooms, roller skating, multiple pools, shows, aquatic center, park in the middle of the boat. Not only do they have a huge atrium where there's like a shopping mall, but they have an actual park growing trees and flowers and manicured bushes. And then around it there's like walking trails and then there's restaurants around it. It's like you're in a little, like New York City village. It was really quite amazing.

[B]

I guess you're right. That has to be what you're.

[A]

You have to go for that. You have to go for that because you're not going for the poo poo in the middle of the hallway that you're not going for, for sure. Anyway, we're here to talk about more pee and poop on your Friday afternoon. So let's do this. Let's take a break and then we'll get back with more shit talking. Literally. We'll be back.

[C]

In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now Please text us at 212-4333, TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet.

[A]

Oh, man, that's funny. The Brady Feigls. Have you heard about the Brady? All right, here's the. Here's the story. I want you to imagine that you go to a doctor's office to go to get a treatment for a problem. Okay? You're a professional athlete. You're playing semi pro baseball. You're a pitcher. And you've got to get Tommy John surgery. So you walk into this brand new doctor's office you've never seen before. You're going to get this surgery because you know this doctor has done it before. The surgeon's done it before and he's good. But this is your consultation appointment. You walk in and the nurses and the staff and the doctors all welcome you as if they've seen you before and swear up and down, we've seen you before and your name is Brady Feigl. Your birth date is the same. You are the same person we have seen before. How are you not been here? And this Brady Feigl swears up and down I have never been here. This is the first time. I'm coming. But no, everybody insists you have been here before. We have a picture of you. We have your name. You're the same person. What are you talking about? Is everything okay? Are you mentally unstable? Have you lost your fucking marbles? You're already being treated for this condition. No, I'm not. I've never been here before. It turns out that Brady Feigl, a very distinct looking human being, has another doppelganger named Brady Feigl, who is a very distinct looking human being.

[B]

No way.

[A]

And in fact, and same birthday. They look like twins. They are exactly the same human being almost. There are little differences in their face that I can see. Can you see it, Christina? Yeah, you can. Here, I'll show you the picture of this.

[B]

Were they in fact twins?

[A]

They were not.

[B]

They were separated at birth. They didn't know.

[A]

Here is the weirdest thing. Of course, everybody says they must be twins.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They both play professional ball, semi pro ball. They both are pitchers. They both had the exact same injury at the exact same time, went to the exact same doctor to get the exact same treatment. Looking exactly the same, with the same name. That's wild. They are both the same height. They are almost exactly alike. I mean, there are a little bit of difference.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can tell the difference, but not much. My twin brother looks less like me than these two look like each other. This is an amazing, amazing story that really fucking freaks my hairy T's out. It gives me goose bumps because are we in a simulation and the simulation has glitched and it's made a doppelganger. It's made two of the same. And it forgot that it made two.

[B]

World could not handle two Brian Greens.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But we've all. I imagine we've all been somewhere at some point and someone has said, you look exactly like. Yes, you act exactly like. You talk exactly like a guy I knew in college, a friend I had somewhere, a lady I met at the bar. This has probably happened to every person on earth because there are doppelgangers out there. And I guess at the end, usually.

[B]

Not with the same exact birthday.

[A]

I think you just don't run into your doppelganger most of the time. I think you're not like, you're not running into the. This is like. I think the way in which this happened and the fact that they have the same profession, they're the same height and have the same name, and they are not related. There is no DNA connection to them whatsoever, really, which is what you would assume. The Brady Feigls are connected by genes, but they are not, in fact connected by genes. They are just two really similar people that in fact play the same sport, have the same imagery, are the same height, have the same name, have the same name.

[B]

Geez.

[A]

Fuck. The same girl. I don't know. I mean, at the end of the.

[B]

Day, and live in the same town, I guess.

[A]

Well, I guess they must live around. Around each other. They went to the same doctor. Now it's not. I guess it's not unusual that when you're in a semi pro league that there's a surgeon that everyone goes to, they trust, they like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I mean, that probably happens in a lot of sports. Like, this is. This guy's the best. You got to go to this guy or girl. But yes, at the same time, to have the same injury, to go in for the same treatment and to find out this way, to have everybody look at you like you're fucking crazy, like, no, dude, you have clearly been here before is really, really strange. And I would, I guess, posture, I would say that maybe we all have a doppelganger out there. Not the same name, not the same height, not the same, you know, width. Hold on one second. We're in the studio. This is all part of getting used to a new studio, too. You got it. There you go. You got it. This is all part of it. We're kind of stumbling around our words here because Christina, like on Hair on Fire, is running around the studio pressing buttons. It's like. It's not working. It's not working. We have, like, now we have multiple camera angles. But here's the dumbest fucking thing in the world. Good job, Kristina, by the way. It's these two. It's one and two, by the way, that go out. So you just press the shutter button. Here's the dumbest thing in the world. Look at Back to Brady Feigls. Here's the dumbest thing in the fucking world. It is almost nearly impossible to find a camera with what's called a clean HDMI feed that is good enough to use in a studio. Now, they make them very expensively, but to get an inexpensive one, one that's under a thousand dollars, you can get, like we use Canon here in the studio. We use these canons, and there are only a few that actually do the clean HDMI feed, meaning they don't have all of the information that's on the screen, like the exposure rate, you know, the lighting okay. So it's called the clean HDMI feed because it allows for a clean image without any writing on it. In Europe, there is a law that you cannot have a video camera and a camera be the same thing. So the camera companies, to get around this law, have installed a time limit on how much you can record with the video camera. I think it's like 42 minutes and 60 seconds. Some bullshit random number that makes it not a video camera, but just a regular camera. I guess when you only take 30 minutes of video, that means it's not a video camera. Cameras.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So in order to sell their cameras all around the world, the camera companies have to make their cameras shut off at a certain time. So in order to find cameras that don't shut off in a certain time limit is really difficult. And so we have these cameras in the studio. They shut off after a certain amount of time. They essentially go dark. And so that's why Christina has to run around and reset them. Well, this is the first time this has happened because the first time we're recording an episode in the studio. Very well done by Christina. I like to watch her run around. Makes me feel good when I'm writing that page.

[B]

Cameras.

[A]

Well, they're all European cameras. I guess we're all European at the end of the day. It's kind of like people. We're all European at the end of the day. So these Brady Feigls. This is really freak me out.

[B]

That is a freaky thing.

[A]

And would you want to meet your doppelganger?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. You think? Yeah. You'd want to meet the person that looks exactly like you, talks exactly like you.

[B]

It would be very strange. But why not? I'd have the curiosity.

[A]

There's got to be there. You know what? I think it would be a good idea to put like a website together, like a Tinder for doppelgangers. Put an image. AI goes out there and finds similar looking people and then you just flip through it until you find one that's exactly like you. And then you connect with them. You say, hey, doppelganger, like the Doppelganger website. I think this is a brilliant idea that someone's going to take and they're going to make a billion dollars. I'm going to still be here doing the 58 days of tcb.

[B]

It's like the dd cant.

[A]

Oh, the dd counter. Yeah, that one's gone. That idea is already gone. Someone took that one.

[B]

Well, that was us.

[A]

Yeah, but you know what? I don't want to have to go to my family functions and be like, so what do you do? I make dick. I make dick. Wine distributor. I mean, dick shaped wine canters. Yeah, exactly. Oh, do you? Oh, well, congratulations. I already feel embarrassed enough about the commercial break. But, you know, I don't have to say I talk about dick shaped decanters. I can tell them I talk about something else. I always make it sound much more lame than it actually is. I'm like, yeah, it's just me and my friend and we're talking.

[B]

We're talking about each other's lives.

[A]

Like you and your friend when you talk about, you know, the inside of an asshole when you talk about the poop cruise. Right.

[B]

Even your friend peed in a jar.

[A]

That's right. When you and your buddy get together and talk about all your sexual exploits live on air. Yeah, I think I. I don't know if I'd want to. I was thinking about this. I don't know if I'd want to meet my doppelganger. I don't know if I'd want to connect with my dog. I think that'd be a little freaky if, like, there was someone that looked exactly like me and talked like me and had same mannerisms and stuff, and they were sitting down. But there was this one girl that I worked with at the steakhouse and she was from. Oh, no, no, no. Too soon. We can't do that one anymore. Sorry, Diddy. Big Baby Oil. See what Big Baby Oil has done to us? Censorship. That's what's going on. It's all Big Baby Oil's fault. Big corporate baby oil. So this girl was from New Mexico. That's where she had grown up and. And she had moved, I don't know, a couple years earlier, and she got this job, she was a waitress. And she swore up and down and I mean, if she didn't say it at least once a day, she swore up and down that I had a doppelganger that looked like me, spoke like me, had the same mannerisms as I did, was just as animated. She was like, I swear, this guy that I knew back in New Mexico, he was you. And, you know, you take that on faith, you take that for what it's worth. It's like, you know, it's with a grain of salt, essentially.

[B]

Some people say that though, too. And then I would see the person and be like, I don't think they really look like that, me. But that's, you know, so could be a perspective now, this Brady situation. They really do look exactly.

[A]

They really do look exactly alike. I've had people tell me I look like Jason Statham is what I get a lot. Especially if I wear a certain type of clothing. People like, oh, you look so much like Jason Statham. And I'm like, yeah, no, that guy is a man of action. I'm a man of inaction. That guy's motivated. I'm unmotivated. That guy has a career. I, I have a middling podcast that I'm trying to make a living doing. I mean, I mean, besides the obvious discrepancies in body type with Jason Statham, I really don't think I look anything like Jason Statham, but some people claim that I do.

[B]

There's a resemblance.

[A]

What is the weirdest person that you've ever been, like, famous? Have you ever had someone come up to you and go, oh, my God, you look exactly. Remember that girl on Love is Blind who claimed that she looked like.

[B]

Oh, right. What did she claim she looked like?

[A]

Kim Kardashian?

[C]

Megan Fox.

[B]

Megan Fox, that's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

Do you remember that?

[B]

Yes. Oh, of course.

[A]

And then everyone.

[B]

That was a big deal.

[A]

You looking at Jason Statham. Yeah. Clear. Yeah. Clearly not, Brian.

[C]

You're just bald.

[A]

Yeah. Besides the receding hairline, I think me and Jason don't have a lot in common. He's handsome. I, I, I missed that boat. I fell off the turnup truck. If you need somebody to come up to you and say, oh, you look like, like, and then you're like, I don't look like that person.

[B]

Yeah. Who did I used to get? It was the Ashley Judd. And I think it was just the way my, like, eyebrows were or something. I don't know. There was some resemblance.

[A]

I see Ashley Judd.

[B]

Yeah. I've got that quite a few times. But I don't think that I look like her. But, But I love her.

[A]

But I could see that.

[C]

I could see that, too.

[A]

I could see that she's got a picture of Ashley Judd up on right now. And I, I think there are some similarities. Like your cheekbones, your noses. Yeah. Maybe your eyebrow, your hair certainly kind of looks like Ashley Judds. Who did I get one time? And I was like, you're out of your mind. Was that show My so Called Life?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do you remember that? There was like, my wheelhouse. Yeah. Google that. Who?

[B]

Jared Leto?

[A]

No, the other guy. Jason Devin Gummersall. No, the crack out. The guy who was in all. The guy who shows his penis in all those movies. You know what I'M talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Jason. I can't remember his name. Was it my so called life or was he in that other one? I can't remember.

[B]

I don't know. You're giving us little clues to work off of. Yeah.

[A]

No, it's not. Oh, oh, oh. I'll find out and I'll tell you. Yeah. Penis showing. He shows his penis in all the movie. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He's in forgetting Sarah Marshall. Oh, Jason Siegel. Someone told me, other than Jason Siegel. And I was like, jason Siegel. What are you talking about? About besides the obvious comparison of the two small dicks. I really.

[B]

Did he show his dick in a lot of movies?

[A]

He's shown his dick in like three movies. Yes. And you know, it's nothing to, it's nothing to laugh at, but it's certainly nothing to show off either. But I always appreciated that Jason showed his dick in movies.

[B]

He went for it.

[A]

He went for it. He went full frontal. And I thought to myself, the first time you see it and forgetting Sarah Marshall, you're like, wow, that's a real penis. Like, there's no prosthesis about it. That is a real. Because if there's a prosthesis, they would make it look much more president. But then you think to yourself, okay, Jason did it and now it's out there. And there's. Now there's some parity between the, the men and the women because Jason went full frontal despite his shortcomings.

[B]

Yeah, we've talked about that before. There should be equal, equal nudity.

[A]

Listen, watch any of those shows that what's his name puts together. That. Who's the guy who did the.

[C]

Sam Levinson.

[A]

Is that what you're talking about? No, not Sam Levinson, by the way. I love Sam Levinson. I think he has, he has their hypersexualized shows. You don't like it?

[C]

I don't like him.

[A]

You don't like him. Okay, well, him. Do you like his shows?

[C]

Yeah, but I think they're exploitative.

[A]

I agree. I think they're hypersexualized. Right. I don't think that's representative of how teenagers.

[B]

What are the shows? I can't remember what Sam. I can't.

[A]

The HBO one. That, that he's.

[C]

Euphoria.

[A]

Euphoria.

[B]

Oh, that guy. Yeah.

[A]

I think it's the best example of hypersexualized show. And I love, love euphoria, but I think I didn't get into it full on fantasical. I mean, fanciful drama. It is not. It is not an accurate representation of what happens as a teenager. Not everyone's beautiful. And getting laid 24 hours a day and going to parties that clearly. I mean, if I went to one party, like Sam Levinson puts, who makes people seem like they're partying? It would have been the best night of my life. I mean, it just would have been magical. But not every party happens like that. There's not, you know, dark ambient lighting and great music. And everyone's beautiful dancing with each other. And you get laid by snapping your fingers. I mean, it doesn't happen like that in high school. It's embarrassing and clunky and weird. And I just don't think he does a good job of, like, making it very accurate. And Sam himself has, you know, some issues. But anyway, Zendaya is great in euphoria, by the way. Zendaya is great. I fell in love with her watching that show. So now we're in love.

[B]

Zendaya, I saw. I saw your eyes go off to Zendaya.

[A]

Zendaya. You saw me float off.

[B]

Yeah, I saw that. Yes. Yeah, well, she really parlayed her that career into huge. Lots of stuff now.

[A]

She did. But not Sam Levinson. I was talking about the guy who made the Aaron Hernandez story. The Ryan Murphy. Ryan Murphy. Ryan Murphy is an equal opportunity nudist nude shower. Because he. There's a lot of dicks and men's asses in his shows. And while it can be a little much for me, like, that's not what I perf, you know, that's. I'm just a guy, right? That's not what I prefer to see. I appreciate it. I'm like, okay, well, there you go. For a long time, it's been all tits and ass. And now we got a little dick and balls.

[B]

Let's bring it in. I said, hey, bring in the balls.

[A]

There should be more penis in shows. And so that's why the commercial break is now every episode is on YouTube with Brian no pants.

[B]

Pantsless.

[A]

I'm gonna do pantsless episodes of the commercial.

[B]

Smartless were pantsless.

[A]

The 12 inches of TCV. 12 inches of TCV. Now available on Spotify video.

[B]

Gather around the tree, kids.

[A]

Gather around the Christmas tree and watch Brian's penis shrink. It's cold outside. What can I say? It got cold. Cold in Atlanta. Yeah, it did. It did get cold in Atlanta. You know, talking about weather is like the lowest form of conversation, but when it gets this cold this quick, everybody.

[B]

Talks about the weather.

[A]

Yeah, I went to the bank and ever, you know, she's like, oh, it's so cold outside. And I'm like, yeah, you're inside. What are you talking about? And then my kids refuse to wear outer layers. They just refuse.

[B]

Why do kids do things that, I don't know? Ours used to do the same thing. You need a jacket.

[A]

I know. They hate it. They hate bundling up. And then they get outside and they're like, I'm. Hold me, daddy, I'm cold. And I'm like, I told you two feet ago to put on a jacket and you refused because it didn't go with your outfit or whatever reasoning you have. God bless my daughters, daughters, daughters, daughters, daddies and their daughters. Lifelong trauma. Lifelong trauma for both parties, I might add. Lifelong trauma for both parties. All right, well, 12 days of TCB right around the corner. Don't miss it. 12 brand new episodes of the commercial break for the Christmas season. You didn't ask for it, but we're giving it to you. Text us 212-4333 TCB 212-433-3822. If you thought some of you, you like something that went on this year in 2024 and you like us to touch on it again, we just might do that because we're running out of content ideas. So hurry up.

[B]

Yes, please do right in.

[A]

Hurry up and get to me. 212-433-3822. Text, questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas. We take them all. Voicemail or text message now available on YouTube.com thecommercialbreak Every episode of the Commercial Break moving forward on YouTube. All camera angles provided by Christina and her brand new toy over there. Don't break it. It costs a lot of money. So go to YouTube.com the commercial break or at the commercial break. You can put that into the. You can put at the commercial break into the search bar up will come. Please subscribe. Like comment on your favorite video at the commercial break. Also on Instagram. Please go ahead and follow us. I'll say it for the 50, 000 time. Please put us out of our misery and give us a follow TCB podcast on tick tock and tcbpodcast.com is the website. All the audio, all the video. Okay, Christina. Christina. Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for today.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[B]

Well, I love you.

[A]

I'll say best to you, best to you and best to you out there on the podcast ass universe. Until next time, Christy and I do say. We will say. And we must say goodbye. Ed, I have it.