The Commercial Break: "We're Just Like You!"

Episode Date: December 6, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Producer/Third Mic: Christina
Theme: Embracing the Chaotic, Relatable Messiness of Everyone’s Lives

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Bryan and Krissy break in TCB’s new studio by riffing on everything from luxury sneaker trends and hipster Thanksgiving desserts to viral stories about men peeing in bottles by the bed. Along the way, they dissect the Hunter Biden pardon, cruise ship disasters, doppelgangers in the wild, and the unique challenge of having your look-alike take over your life. Their signature back-and-forth is boosted by Christina’s quick interjections and a few classic “TMI” confessions, all delivered in their typical “cheesecake factory of podcasts” style—chaotic, self-aware, and intentionally off the rails.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Studio Vibes and Sneaker Culture

• Celebrating the new studio north of Atlanta (“You figure it out,” [01:19]), the hosts joke about protecting their privacy and the new neon sign/table setup.
• Bryan teases Krissy about her Air Jordans purchase, leading to a larger discussion on sneaker resale madness ([03:07]).
  • Quote, Bryan: “Which podcast is that? And do they need a host?” ([03:19])
• Stories about overpriced “distressed” fashion on Rodeo Drive and knock-offs via Temu.
  • Quote: “These motherfuckers buy a parachute, tennis shoes from Fibu or Emu…running out in the street in puddles and you're paying a $1,000 markup to get used shoes and clothing with holes in it.” ([05:25])

2. Low-Key Thanksgiving, Food Memories, & Roll Discourse

• Both enjoyed chill Thanksgivings—Krissy’s small group went for restaurant food and homemade pies ([06:18]), Bryan’s family ditched turkey for “backup ham legs” ([07:14]).
• Deep dive into rolls, specifically Sister Schubert’s vs. Chicago’s Jewel bakery rolls, and Bryan’s nostalgia for his aunt’s bakery-smelling house.
  • Quote: “My aunt always smelled like bread, which was delicious to me. I wanted to eat my aunt sometimes. I didn't say eat out my aunt. Everyone settle down. I said, eat my aunt.” ([08:36])

3. Hunter Biden, Pardons & Political Double Standards

• Fresh news: President Biden’s broad pardon for Hunter Biden triggers a debate on the ethics and optics of presidential pardons.
  • Bryan: “You can't yell and scream that the house is on fire when you're the one that lit the match.” ([11:14])
• Contrast with Gerald Ford/Nixon; both hosts express resignation about the “fuck it” nature of modern politics ([13:38]).
• Rant about Atlanta’s disregard for red lights as a metaphor for wider chaos ([12:07]).

4. Men Peeing in Bottles: Viral Gross-Out & Manners

• The NY Post story about men urinating in bottles next to their beds becomes a hilarious, horrified tangent.
  • Quote, Bryan: “Guys, where did we learn this? Who picked this up on a road trip?” ([18:01])
  • Krissy, baffled: “You're in your own home and you're having to do this and not sit up…?” ([18:57])
• Everyone agrees it’s acceptable only in emergencies (road trip, snowstorm, “Carnival poop cruise” disaster).
  • Christina: “That's a deal breaker for me. Absolutely not.” ([25:17])
  • Quote, Bryan: “It is absolutely, fantastically gross. And guys think, stop this. This all started with Joe Rogan, I bet.” ([19:16])

5. Pee, Poop & Survival: Cruise Ship Catastrophes

• Bryan recounts the “Carnival poop cruise”—a cruise ship fire led to no toilets, people depositing waste in bags in the hallways, and pure maritime misery.
  • Bryan: “Carnival says no, wait, we can't afford to get you off the boat…So what we're gonna do is let you shit in a can for the next seven days.” ([32:23])
• Discussion about the pros and cons of cruising—the group concludes most people are cruise-averse (claustrophobia, being “shuffled around,” risk of being left behind at port).
• Krissy: “I don't think I want to be shuffled around. If I like a place, I want to stay, hang out, enjoy it.” ([34:05])

6. Doppelgangers, Glitches in the Matrix & Celebrity Lookalikes

• Brady Feigl story: Two semi-pro baseball pitchers with the same name, same injury, same treatment, same look, and same birthday—yet NOT related ([40:18]).
  • Bryan: “Are we in a simulation and the simulation has glitched and it's made a doppelganger?” ([41:07])
• The hosts debate whether they’d want to meet their own doppelganger; brainstorm a “Tinder for doppelgangers” website ([46:15]).
• They share their own lookalike stories (Bryan: Jason Statham, Jason Segel; Krissy: Ashley Judd).
  • Christina, deadpan: “You're just bald.” ([50:15])
• TV tangent: Sam Levinson’s Euphoria and Ryan Murphy as an “equal opportunity nudist”—Hollywood’s evolving standards for onscreen nudity ([54:29]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kickoff Self-Deprecation:
  • Bryan: “I always make it sound much more lame than it actually is. I'm like, yeah, it's just me and my friend and we're talking...” ([00:29])
• On Bread Nostalgia:
  • Bryan: “I wanted to eat my aunt sometimes. I didn't say eat out my aunt. Everyone settle down. I said, eat my aunt. I wanted to eat her. I wanted to take a bite of her.” ([08:36])
• On Atlanta’s Traffic Lawlessness:
  • Bryan: “Red lights have now just become suggestions here in Atlanta.” ([12:07])
• Bryan’s “pee in a bottle” PSA:
  • “Guys, get with it. Get up, pull your morning boner together and go pee in the toilet.” ([19:16])
• Christina’s Dealbreaker:
  • “That's a deal breaker for me. Absolutely not. First of all, I also don't want to touch your dick hands.” ([25:17])
• Poop Cruise Visual:
  • “Carnival says…we can't afford to get you off the boat and back to safety. So what we're gonna do is we're just gonna let you [shit] in a can for the next seven days.” ([32:23])
• On Doppelganger Discovery:
  • “Are we in a simulation and the simulation has glitched and it's made a doppelganger…it forgot it made two.” ([41:07])
• Self-Awareness:
  • “I already feel embarrassed enough about The Commercial Break, but you know, I don’t have to say I talk about dick shaped decanters.” ([46:51])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:14] — New studio, privacy jokes, Krissy’s Air Jordans, and sneaker culture
• [06:03] — Thanksgiving recap, food talk, Bryan’s bread-scented aunt
• [10:32] — Sister Schubert’s rolls and iconic bakery stories
• [10:35] — Hunter Biden broad pardon, presidential power, and Atlanta traffic metaphor
• [17:10] — Kicking off the “pee in a bottle” debate
• [18:57] — Acceptable vs. totally unacceptable peeing situations
• [29:27] — Carnival’s “poop cruise” and cruise ship disaster stories
• [33:34] — Why people are cruise-averse; cruise structure pros/cons
• [40:18] — Doppelganger story: the case of two identical Brady Feigls
• [46:15] — Would you want to meet your doppelganger? Brainstorming a matching website
• [49:44] — Hosts’ personal and celebrity lookalike stories
• [54:29] — Hollywood nudity equality: Ryan Murphy vs. Sam Levinson
• [55:52] — Atlanta cold snap, dads, and daughters

Final Notes

• The hosts bring the chaotic, “unfiltered friend group” energy — no subject is too trivial (or gross).
• Christina adds fact-checks and quips with perfect comedic timing, e.g., “You're just bald.” ([50:15])
• Promos for their 12 Days of TCB and reminders for listeners to engage via text, IG, TikTok, and YouTube.

In the words of Bryan Green ([58:11]):
“Best to you, best to you and best to you out there on the podcast ass universe!”

For fans: This episode is a classic TCB mix—a relatable, ridiculous chat that finds the humor and wisdom in the everyday while always zigzagging off script.