That Man-Muppet "O"Face!

Summary

The Commercial Break – "That Man-Muppet 'O' Face!"

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Brian Green and (guest co-host) Tina
Air Date: October 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Brian is joined by temporary co-host Tina while Krissy is away at Mempho Fest. The duo leans into TCB’s signature chaotic, irreverent banter, weaving through topics like bizarre sex and relationship myths, reality TV absurdities, and classic movies with very problematic premises. From a hilarious breakdown of TLC’s "Seeking Sister Wives" and its wild pseudo-science to a sharp critique of the 80s film "Blame it on Rio," Brian and Tina manage to spin outrage and disbelief into comedy gold. The conversation pivots into deeper territory with discussions about the Michael Jackson controversy, Hollywood’s history of child exploitation, and reflections on a viral political blackmail drama unfolding online.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Reality TV Buffoonery: "Seeking Sister Wives" (06:35–13:30)

• Brian and Tina debrief the latest jaw-dropping moments from "Seeking Sister Wives":
  • Garrick and his wife (recurring "oddballs" on the show) continue their pursuit of a sister wife, and Garrick’s statements are more outlandish than ever.
  • Garrick believes sex permanently alters female DNA and that after five partners, a woman can't "bond" anymore.
  • Brian and Tina are incredulous, mocking the pseudoscience and highlighting the dangers of such widespread misinformation.

Notable Quotes:

• Brian: “He believes... that when a man donates sperm to a woman inside her vagina... her DNA changes to reflect.” (08:27)
• Tina: “If that’s the case, then I have changed a lot of women for the worse.” (08:56)
• Brian (re: the 'five partners' myth): “After five sperm injections, you can no longer bond with other humans. You’ve gone full reptilian.” (10:47)

Sex & Relationship Myths Debunked (13:25–21:47)

• Brian asks AI ‘Chatty’ to fact-check the slew of sex myths that pop culture perpetuates.
• Debunks include:
  • Men thinking about sex "every seven seconds"
  • "Blue balls" as a medical emergency
  • Sexual partner count affecting emotional capability or anatomy
  • Sex before sports as detrimental to performance
  • Pregnancy from toilet seats and other schoolyard scares

Notable Quotes:

• Chatty (via Brian): "There’s no counter in the body that runs. Good for you. Hang on, body. This is number 10.” (15:59)
• Brian (on blue balls): "No testicles in history have exploded." (19:17)

80s Movie Misadventures: “Blame It On Rio” (24:11–43:10)

• Tina watched the infamous (and still streamable) "Blame it on Rio" and breaks down its disturbing plot:
  • Middle-aged men vacationing with their 17-year-old daughters. Michael Caine (52 at the time) sleeps with a friend's teen daughter, with topless scenes and age-inappropriate advances.
  • Demi Moore also plays a topless minor in the movie.
  • Shock at the film's ongoing availability, and reflection on similar exploitation in Hollywood’s past (e.g., Brooke Shields in "The Blue Lagoon").
  • Dissection of Rotten Tomatoes reviews shows a disturbing amount of minimization by (mostly male) viewers.

Notable Quotes:

• Brian: "Michael Caine is in bed with Michelle Johnson, who’s 17 years old... and he says, ‘I remember the first time I kissed you—it was your bottom when your mom was powdering your bottom.’” (32:35)
• Tina: “I’m not going topless with my dad and my uncle. Not even at 45, it’s just never going to happen.” (31:19)
• Brian: “The difference... is just allowing children to be children... to permit that for as long as possible.” (42:06)

Hollywood, Abuse, & Michael Jackson (43:10–55:15)

• The discussion turns to recurring themes of child exploitation and the lines between art and abuse.
  • Examining Corey Feldman’s outspoken role in exposing Hollywood predators, praising his consistency and contrasting his unwavering defense of Michael Jackson.
  • Noting Feldman’s and Macaulay Culkin’s insistence that Jackson did no harm to them, sparking debate on separating art from the artist as well as complexities of the allegations.

Notable Quotes:

• Brian (on Jackson’s defenders): “Both [Feldman and Culkin] have also been loudly outspoken about other predators inside the industry... So they’re like, ‘Why just defend Michael Jackson?’” (45:41)
• Tina: “Especially the earlier you get into [the industry], the more likely you are to become a weirdo.” (46:10)

Viral Politics, Blackmail, & Power (58:01–68:07)

• Brian recounts an ongoing social media storm:
  • A left-leaning creator threatens to out a powerful politician over a supposed secret Grindr account unless the newly-elected Congresswoman is sworn in—an act with implications on the release of the Epstein files.
  • The potential whistleblower quickly becomes shaken and goes ‘underground,’ citing threats and turning documents over to journalists and lawyers.
  • The hosts reflect on the dangers of activism, the reach of big accounts, and the risk inherent in taking on those with power.

Notable Quotes:

• Brian: “When you mess with the bull, you get the horns. And he got the horns or he’s getting the horns.” (64:23)
• Tina (wry): “Somebody get him a vest.” (67:55)

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Memorable Moments & Humor

• Opening banter: Brian, ever irreverent, compares finding a good pair of jeans to finding a soulmate—complete with jokes about his hypothetical army of children. (00:00)
• The "Man-Muppet O-Face": Running joke where Brian claims his ‘orgasm face’ looks like a muppet:
  “You should see my stupid face when I make an orgasm. I look like a muppet. I really do. I can’t even imagine. I don’t want to know. I’ve never videotaped myself—because I don’t.” (03:16, 19:14)
• AI ‘Chatty’ becomes a third host: Brian’s playful interactions with his AI fact-checker, joking about training it to like him and receiving Daily Digests, add a surreal meta-comedy layer. (16:33)
• Rotten Tomatoes Review Roasting: Brian and Tina read aloud 1-star reviews from men who found nothing wrong with “Blame it on Rio,” mocking their obliviousness. (38:26)

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• Seeking Sister Wives Pseudoscience: 06:35–13:25
• Debunking Sex Myths with ‘Chatty’: 14:04–21:47
• Deep Dive: “Blame it on Rio” and Problematic ‘80s Cinema: 24:11–43:10
• Hollywood Abuse & Michael Jackson Discussion: 43:10–55:15
• Viral Political Blackmail & Dangers of Speaking Up: 58:01–68:07

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Tone & Final Thoughts

The energy stays classic TCB: quick-witted, irreverent, occasionally dark but always self-aware. Brian and Tina bring out the best in each other’s cynicism and curiosity, dissecting pop culture absurdities with biting asides and bursts of “can-you-believe-this?” laughter, all the while grounding their takes in an ethos of compassion and common sense.

As always, The Commercial Break walks the tightrope between playful nonsense and pointed social commentary—never claiming expertise, but always entertaining.

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Best to you, TCB Universe.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

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[Rachel]

Commercial break Meet Natural Cycles, the only FDA cleared and CE marked birth control app that's built around your body. The Natural Cycles app pinpoints your fertile days by tracking shifts in your temperature so you can plan or prevent pregnancy naturally. It's easy to use. Simply take your temperature in the morning with our free Bluetooth thermometer included with our annual plan, or sync with your Oura ring or Apple Watch. The app analyzes your data and tells you daily whether it's a fertile or non fertile day. Natural cycles is 93% effective with typical use and 98% effective with perfect use. But beyond effective birth control, the app helps you understand your body and cycle better than ever. And unlike some period tracking apps, Natural Cycles provides an advanced data protection program to keep Your information, private and secure, ready to go, hormone free. Sign up for the natural cycles annual plan and get a free Bluetooth thermometer plus 15% off your subscription with the code [e-mail] Brian got it wrong.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Brian got it wrong. Yeah, Brian got it wrong. Yeah, Brian got it wrong again. On this episode of the commercial break, they think it. They think it, like, keeps in a certain amount of chi energy, testosterone, stuff like that. And I can understand why this gets in people's heads. I can understand why athletes gets in an athlete's head. Like, boxers are notorious for going like, you know, a month before they have a big fight with no sex and they get all raged up and all that. But, you know, for guys, I know that sex is different and it's very physical and it's, you know, there's a lot of energy that comes with release and, you know, you should see my stupid face when I make an orgasm. I look like a muppet. I really do. I can't even imagine. I don't want to know. I've never videotaped myself because I don't.

[Tina]

Know things I don't need to know.

[Brian Green]

That's right. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Rachel]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the temporary co host of the commercial break, Tina. Best to you, Tina.

[Tina]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

And best to you out there in the podcast universe, Tina. Joining us as it's menfo time here at the commercial break. We all get very excited. I don't get very excited that Chrissy's gone. I get very excited for Chrissy that she gets to go and have a vacation that I so desperately want. It's jealous. It's jealousy. Not excitement. It's jealousy.

[Tina]

She gets the party and. And the time off.

[Brian Green]

She gets the party and the time off. She gets to stay at a nice hotel. She gets to run around with Jeff meeting fam people and hanging out. Of course I did. I met a few famous people while she wasn't here too. I had the opportunity to talk to Sal Volcano, what a great guy. Yesterday. I will preview this because I would like to. Yesterday I had an opportunity to talk to Larry the cable guy. And when I talked to Larry the cable guy, I. I didn't know what to expect. Like, I don't, you know, Larry the cable guy? I know him. Of course. We all know him. Blue collar comedy, the whole thing. And. But we also know him around as the Voice of Mater.

[Tina]

Tow Mater.

[Brian Green]

Toe Mater from Cars. So I'll preview this because I won't be able to play it actually in the episode because it's got the names of my children, and I don't prefer to give that out on air. But at the end of the conversation before I'm trying, you know, I'm trying to wrap it up, and he goes, wait, just one more thing. He goes, tell me the name of your kids. And so I give him the name of the kids because I told them how much they were fans of Cars. And he did a whole fucking bit as Mater on his microphone. Absolute for my children.

[Tina]

That's so cool.

[Brian Green]

I am so filled with joy about this. You don't understand. Astrid must think I'm a total goober because I ran around the house all day yesterday texting family members like, I'm the dad of the year. Look at what happened. And all of a sudden, it's me. I did it. He took the time to do that for my children. And when I let them listen to it, I, like, got the car, like, the car's toys out, and I said, you know, this one. And then I did it. And they were just like, oh, the real Mater. And I'm like, the real Mater. What a dude. I mean, what a dude. So many people I've know, I have heard through the grapevine that he's a very nice guy, could not have been more pleasant. And he just did that out of the kindness of his heart. I didn't even ask him to do that. So that interview coming up next week. We'll run that interview next week. So Chrissy can go ahead and meet Widespread Panic. Chris, you can go ahead and meet Widespread Fan. I got voice memos from Mater. Mater. Nice guy. Anyway, love it. So I am gleefully now through with the second episode of Seeking Sister Wives.

[Tina]

Oh, you're ahead of me.

[Brian Green]

I am ahead of you. Are you. Are you going to watch it?

[Tina]

I am.

[Brian Green]

Do you? Have you watched the other seasons?

[Tina]

I have.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so we know Garrick and his wife. I can't remember her name. What's her name? Garrick.

[Tina]

And don't pop quiz me.

[Brian Green]

Garrick's the only one I remember because quite frankly, anytime Garrick comes on screen, I can't get past Garrick to get to his wife, because Garrick has got to be the dumbest motherfucker I have ever met in my entire life. And his wife might be number two. And I'd like to think that Garrick is not Garrick's wife. Is not kind of this, like, I don't know, Tina, let me play the clip and then you tell me. And by the way, this is probably one of the smarter things this guy has said in the six seasons of Seeking Sister Wives. And I'm about to play you something that is just as dumb. We will discuss it after this. Just as dumb as I have. I can't believe he said this. Hold on. You ready?

[Tina]

I'm ready.

[Brian Green]

Okay, let's see here. Here we go. Okay. Heartfelt serious question that you and her. Okay, wait. Now then, let me. I gotta. I gotta make sure that we understand. Okay. Garrick and his wife, they have been seeking his sister wife for five years, six seasons. Every season it's a new fucking girl. Right? Because none of it works out. They're always Brazilian. They always take his money and then don't show up to come live with them. Because, let's face it, Garak is a real fucking oddball. He's a kooky like, I don't care about his religion, but the stuff that he believes because of his religion is insanity. He believes as of. Because I heard it last season, he believes that when a man donates sperm to a woman inside her vagina via sex, that her DNA changes to reflect.

[Tina]

Yes, I have heard this.

[Brian Green]

You've heard this?

[Tina]

Yes. He's not alone.

[Brian Green]

This cannot be true, unfortunately. Is it true?

[Tina]

It's not true. But it is true that other people do believe this.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I'm just making sure that I'm not speaking completely out of turn here, because everything that I know from my little education that I've had tells me that there is no way that your DNA permanently changes because sperm is inside of you.

[Tina]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

Because if that's the case, mine would have changed. Yes. If that's the case, then I have changed a lot of women for the worse.

[Tina]

I mean, imagine what crimes we could get away with if our DNA changed every time we had a deposit.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Every girl I've ever slept with could commit a crime and she'd have my DNA all up inside her, changing her forever. He said this on a national, nationally televised show.

[Tina]

It blows my mind.

[Brian Green]

He is the dumbest motherfucker on earth. He's got to be. He looks like he's not alone. Fucker. On earth. Okay, so now they're on season number six. We've met a new wife, a new. Another fucking Brazilian, and they're bringing her back to the United states on the K1 visa they got approved. She's coming in, he's explaining how they went through the courting process via the Internet and a couple of visits. So he's saying that, you know, I already went. You know, I talked to her. I asked her lots of questions, heartfelt, serious question. You, her, me and her especially because I knew she had a. She had some men treat her really bad. I mean, they found that after women, which are around five men, that they just can't like bond anymore. What? After a woman has like five different partners, the chances of her bonding or even having a lasting relationship drops like cold crazy amount. Like just percentage wise. It's the sperm. It's just the sperm meat inside of it or changes. Yeah. Huh? Huh? Huh? What? What? After five sperm injections, you can no longer bond with other humans. You've turned in. You've gone full reptilian.

[Rachel]

How.

[Tina]

How did I not know this?

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Tina]

Somebody should have warned me.

[Brian Green]

Are we even friends?

[Tina]

Tina, my DNA's changed multiple times at this point.

[Brian Green]

Can you even connect with me? This?

[Tina]

You turn into sorrow.

[Brian Green]

You turn into rain woman after the fit, right? Yeah.

[Tina]

Is he. Does he get abducted by aliens at night? Like, what. Where did this come from?

[Brian Green]

The look on his face, just like the normal resting look on Garrick's face, tells me that there's something is not happening in his brain. Yeah, things aren't connecting. The synapses are broken somewhere. The dumb shit that Garrick, Garak absorbs in his mind. Which podcasts are you listening to?

[Tina]

His mother didn't love him enough.

[Brian Green]

And his wife sits there, she has a look on her face.

[Tina]

Dumbfounded.

[Brian Green]

She looks dumbfounded, but she never corrects him, like, hey, Garrick, that's not true. No, she agrees with him.

[Tina]

Are they fundamentalists?

[Brian Green]

There are some kind of wackadoo religion, I'm sure of it. They live out in the mountains. You know, this whole thing, it's just unbelievable to me what some people choose to believe. If you did any homework whatsoever, you would understand that the amount of sperm in your uterus has nothing to do with your ability to be emotionally connected human being. That's not true. That's too weird. Remember that girl who just had sex with a hundred guys in 24 hours? That poor girl, she's never gonna bond with anybody again.

[Tina]

She's just going to ascend at some point.

[Brian Green]

She's gonna walk the streets like a robot, just disconnected from humanity. What the fuck is going on?

[Tina]

This is wild.

[Brian Green]

It's wild.

[Tina]

This is wild.

[Brian Green]

It's wild. And thank God TLC is here to document it all. Yeah, and let us know quickly.

[Tina]

I need this distraction in my life.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I just.

[Tina]

I feel somebody said that to my face. I don't know how the cameraman kept his composure.

[Brian Green]

Well, he didn't. He said what? That's like the little thing. They had the text on the bottom and it says producer. What? Exclamation point, question mark.

[Tina]

Yes. I would not have been able to keep quiet either.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God, these people are insane.

[Tina]

I could barely keep quiet while you were playing the clip.

[Brian Green]

I. When I watched it, I had to watch it again. I had to watch it again. I had to watch again. I was actually just about to, like, take a little. A little snick. Snack. Nap, you know, and then I was. Had it on in the background and my eyes just popped right open and I was like, let me wind that. Did I. Am I just dreaming that he said that dumb shit. Last year he said, sperm changes your DNA. This year he's on to five women. Five men.

[Tina]

Prevents you from connecting emotionally with. With other human beings.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, I mean, if I didn't.

[Tina]

For your skin, Great. For your hair, Bad for relationships.

[Brian Green]

That's. It's. It's the only substance on earth with negative calories. But it changes the way you think.

[Tina]

And your whole DNA strand.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. Hey, listen, far be it from me to deny. You know what?

[Tina]

I'm going to go homicidal and make sure I have sex first.

[Brian Green]

Peter, Luke or Paul said in the Fifth Corinthians or some shit like.

[Tina]

Unbelievable.

[Brian Green]

I mean, let me just. I'm just going to make sure. Here, let me ask Chad. TCB real quick. Hold on.

[Tina]

Oh, good old Chatty.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Chat, exclamation point. I heard that a woman's DNA changes when a man ejaculates inside of her period. Could this possibly be true? Question mark? Nope.

[Tina]

Did Chatty say no?

[Brian Green]

Chap said no. Yeah, okay. Where this idea comes from. This idea comes from telogeny, an ancient belief that a woman's later children might inherit traits from previous partner partners. However, modern genetics, like since the 19th century, has proved this to be untrue. Rarely, cells from a fetus can remain in a mother's body for decades. That's real. But it comes from pregnancy, not in our fetus. Yes, from a fetus. That's different than from a man.

[Tina]

It's not.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, okay.

[Tina]

From sperm.

[Brian Green]

But the same person told me that after five sexual partners, a woman can no longer bond with a man. That thought. Is that true? Question mark?

[Tina]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

This chat's going to start thinking I'm a real dipshit.

[Tina]

We don't want to know what my chat is going to start thinking.

[Brian Green]

This is another absolute myth. The idea that a certain number of sexual partners makes a woman not bond anymore is something you'll see in certain religious or red pill spaces. Of course, bonding is psychological, not biological. Oxytocin versus vispesterne, whatever that is. These hormones are released during sex and intimacy, and they help build closeness. But there's no counter in the body that runs. There's no counter. Not counter. Counter in the body that runs. Good for you.

[Tina]

Hang on. Body. This is number 10. We've got a. Are you sure?

[Brian Green]

Dink. Yeah, dink.

[Tina]

Like rings on a tree.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Well, thank you for clarifying that. Be clear. I never believed that was true, period. I'm just entertaining myself because I don't want. You know, I have this. I've trained Chat to like me. Yeah. I appreciate you saying that. If you want to dig. If you want, I can dig up the most outrageous fake science, sex and relationship myths. Oh, yes, please, please do that. Okay, let's do that.

[Tina]

I love. I love that chat's so helpful and offers next steps.

[Brian Green]

Well, it knows that I have a podcast, so, you know, it started giving me this, like, Daily Digest. Do you have chat? Mm, I don't know, because I pay for, like, the. Like, the big version or whatever, the premium version. It started giving me this Daily Digest, and it's like, you know, hey, I looked at all of your bits from the commercial break, and I have an idea on how you can put some of these together for a crabapple. You know, supercut. You want me to show you? And it's like, oh, wow. Okay.

[Tina]

Yeah, I do want you to do that. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And then it was like, hey, I heard you interviewed. I know that you interviewed Margaret Cho. There's some interesting information coming out about her. You want an update? And so I'm like, oh, that's cool. You know?

[Tina]

Yeah, chatty's my best.

[Brian Green]

Here's some. Here's some of the myths a woman absorbed. Okay, we already talked about that one. Men think about sex every seven seconds. Now, we've all heard this. Yes, you're. It's likely you heard this from a science teacher giving you sex education. Yeah. But obviously that is untrue, and I know it just from being a man. I mean, there is a. There were certain periods of my life where I was over sexed, for sure. I was thinking about it a lot, but it wasn't every seven Seconds. It was every two seconds. Guys are basically sex robots. That's the claim. But the truth is, studies show men do think about sex more than women, but not every seven seconds. More like a few times a day. Here's another one. You can tell somebody's sexual activity by the size or shape of their genitalia. The claim is that vaginas get loose after they have more sex. The truth is, muscles stretch temporarily but return to baseline. No permanent partner count. Signature. Can I see your partner account? Signature. Do you mind?

[Tina]

What's your counter at?

[Brian Green]

What's my counter? Oh, okay.

[Tina]

I'm not asking.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go there. Blue balls is a medical emergency. I always hated this. I always hated this because even amongst my friends group, I would call it out as a bullshit, bullshit claim to get. To urgently get off or have someone help them get off. And I understand that when you reach close to climax and you don't, there's some frustration and it can be physically uncomfortable for a few minutes. But blue balls is not a thing. Your balls don't turn blue. The sperm doesn't go back in rotten. It's not like it came out, set out. It's not like eggs. Yeah, it didn't sit out for two days and go back in. If it didn't come out, it didn't come out. It's okay. It's still there, right? It's uncomfortable, but it's harmless. Relief comes with time or with release. No testicles in history have exploded.

[Tina]

Thanks, Chad.

[Brian Green]

Thanks, Chad. It's a great teenage excuse to pressure for sex or release. And I have always known this. And if you are a friend of mine and you have tried to use that whole fucking shit, then, you know, I have called it out for forever because I just think it's ridiculous. Sex before sports drains performance. Science shows that no consistent effect, though some athletes, some athletes, athletes are shown to even perform better after sex because it reduces stress. These are old school coaches perpetuating this myth, essentially.

[Tina]

Yeah, they want you frustrated on the field.

[Brian Green]

They think it, they think it like, keeps in a certain amount of chi energy, testosterone, stuff like that. And I can understand why this gets in people's heads. I can understand why athletes gets in an athlete's head. Like, boxers are notorious for going like, you know, a month before they have a big fight with no sex and they get all raged up and all that. But you know, for guys, I know that sex is different and it's very physical and it's, you know, there's A lot of energy that comes with release. And you know, you should see my stupid face when I make an orgasm. I look like a muppet. I really do. I can't even imagine. I don't want to know. I've never videotaped myself because I still.

[Tina]

Things I don't need to know.

[Brian Green]

That's right. But I will share that. That energy can be mutated. It can be sent somewhere else. You can get over it.

[Tina]

I've never known anyone to be raged up from lack of sex. It's just ridiculous.

[Brian Green]

It's another excuse for whatever it is that's going on in your life that you cannot control or don't have. Can't put a castle permissible.

[Tina]

Yeah. Permitting bad behavior.

[Brian Green]

Bad behavior. That's right. And as. As men, we should call it out when it comes up when you're in the locker room or. I mean, I'm not. Haven't been in the locker room in 80 years. I don't know why. Yes, me too. I don't want to show my ping pang. I'm old. My balls hang down to my knees. Who wants to see that? I think that as guys. As good men. Right, as men. But as good men.

[Tina]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

We should call that shit out when we hear it. We should say, that's just, you know. Stop it. That's enough.

[Tina]

You're nonsense.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You're upset because your feelings are hurt or something. And now you got blue balls and you go jizz all over everybody. Or else you're gonna die. You. Come on, get over it. Let's see. You can get pregnant from a toilet seat.

[Tina]

Oh, gosh, not this crap. Tell me these. A lot of these myths are just like, not. They're just not out there anymore. I've heard this. They try to scare you.

[Brian Green]

They try and scare you.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'm sure this comes from some sex education in a cat.

[Tina]

The boys in the girls room. Because they're gonna jizz all over the seats.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Tina]

By the way, little girls are going to be pregnant. Like, what are you talking about?

[Brian Green]

Which guys are jizzing all over the seats? I mean, I'm sure it happens, but I don't want to think about it.

[Tina]

Where women are gonna sit.

[Brian Green]

Where are you guys going? Into the jizz room. Like, you know, what do you say? The jizz room. Listen, settle down on this one too. We don't want to. The thing about myths and legends is they lead to worse behavior. They lead to the dumbing down. Yeah. The dumbing down of America. I'd like to think that this isn't out there. But I almost. You're almost guaranteed.

[Tina]

Well, if this guy's on TV right now in 2025 talking about you can't bond after five partners, then it's clearly rampant.

[Brian Green]

There are teenagers out there who are currently not sitting on toilet seats because they think there's a jizz box somewhere that's gonna get them pregnant.

[Tina]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This came from one woman who had an affair and got pregnant.

[Tina]

I must've said.

[Brian Green]

I must have sat on a toilet seat. I slipped and fell on a jizz seat. I don't know. It was yours. And the sperm jumped into my uterus. Those sperm, they're all over the place. Look at those little nasty things just waiting. Yeah. Bigger feet equal bigger penis. Shoe size predicts penis size is the claim. However, studies show that there is zero correlation. Big shoes equal big shoes. And there goes. There goes any game I ever had.

[Tina]

That's the tiny hands.

[Brian Green]

I got big feet. So there goes any game. I think it's big hands, big penis. Isn't that it? Big hands, big penis.

[Tina]

Yeah. I've always said hands and feet. I think if you have big feet and small hands, that's even more awkward.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's weird. That's just weird. I can think of one national treasure that has small feet. I mean, big feet and small hands.

[Tina]

Are they big feet?

[Brian Green]

They're big ankles.

[Tina]

Yeah. Cankles are big.

[Brian Green]

Cankles. That's right. Speaking of cankles and our national treasure. Man, do we have a lot to dig into. We. We have done. We have gone the extra mile. Tina went the extra mile.

[Tina]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Watched Blame it on Rio, which we were talking about yesterday, and let it be her and not me. Thank God. It's good. I don't want to. I don't want to get called out on that.

[Tina]

I don't know why I started my day with it, but.

[Brian Green]

Tina and I. I want to be real sensitive around this topic, too, but I think it. I think we can have a fun discussion without getting too crazy or gross. Yesterday, I interluded when we were breaking down that Zon video that I had seen a reel about a movie called Blame it on Real, with Michael Caine, Michelle Johnson, and some other actors of the time. This is back in the early 80s. 1981.

[Tina]

Jeffrey Baloney.

[Brian Green]

Jeffrey Baloney Bologna.

[Tina]

Yeah. 1984 was the release date.

[Brian Green]

Okay. And it is a movie where two best friends go on holiday with their daughters that are supposedly 17 years old at the time, and they then spend the rest of the movie Naked. And apparently the two girls who played the two teenagers were 17 at the time. Michael Caine was 52.

[Tina]

Gross.

[Brian Green]

Disgusting. He was 52 years old at the time. And then the plot of the movie is that Michael Caine sleeps with his best friend's daughter. He's in love with her. And he sleeps.

[Tina]

She's in love with him, but yes, he sleeps with her. Yeah, many times that.

[Brian Green]

And this movie, by the way, is on Amazon Prime. Unbelievable.

[Tina]

I expected to have to pay 3.99 or. Nope. Just right there. Ready to go?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And you. And maybe after the break, what I'll do is I'll pull up the Rotten Tomatoes comments even though it's got a 7%. Did you read some of those comments?

[Tina]

Oh, I had enough. The movie was enough.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I could only imagine. I could only imagine. I simply googled Blame it on Rio and the images were like. There wasn't an image that didn't have nudity.

[Tina]

I just had to investigate her actual age because Demi Moore plays her best friend, the other Jeffrey Baloney's daughter.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Tina]

Yeah. Demi Moore is the other teenage girl.

[Brian Green]

And how old is she when the movie is made?

[Tina]

I did not look at her because you only see her topless.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Tina]

Like once. And her hair covers most of her boobs. Yeah, all of it. You just see the under.

[Brian Green]

I don't even know what to think about this. But let's. We'll get into it as gingerly as we can because there is a long history of minors in these movies. Not recently, I don't think, but of miners in these movies. Blue Lagoon, I mean, we can just go back to all of it. And a lot of these movies still.

[Tina]

Available, you can just go watch.

[Brian Green]

Just go watch them today. And my question is not about art versus sexuality versus whatever.

[Tina]

No, no, no.

[Brian Green]

You know, Blue Lagoon is not an overly sexed movie, but a 14 year old Brooke Shields is nude in the entire movie, as is her co star, who I think was 17 at the time too. So let's not let the boys go unnoticed too. Well, we'll talk about Blame it on Rio just a little bit more after we take a break. It's MENFO week. Just in case anybody's wondering why Tina's here and Chrissy's not. Don't think Chrissy went anywhere. She just.

[Tina]

Just a mempho.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, just a mempho. And Chrissy and I didn't get enough. We didn't record enough episodes to get through the entire break. So we're. Tina has graciously Substitute teaching. Substitute teacher. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. What's up, guys?

[Tina]

It's Candice Dillard Bassett, former real housewife of Potomac.

[Brian Green]

And I'm Michael Arseneault, author of the New York Times bestseller I Can't Date Jesus. And this is Undomesticated, the podcast where we aren't just saying the quiet parts out loud.

[Tina]

We're putting it all on the kitchen.

[Rachel]

Table and inviting you to the functions.

[Tina]

If you're ready for some bold takes.

[Brian Green]

And a little bit of chaos. Welcome to Undomesticated.

[Tina]

Follow and listen to Undomesticated, available wherever.

[Brian Green]

You get your podcasts. Did you know you lose 91 days a year to scrolling? That's your entire summer gone. So this summer, log off and show up with friends and some ice cold Heinekens. Then, instead of commenting on your crew's stories, he'll be making memories with. With them. Sorry, social media. The scrolling ends and the fun begins with cold Heinekens and good friends. Heineken social networking since 1873. Available at your local Heineken retailer or for [e-mail] must be 21/ to purchase. Enjoy Heineken responsibly. Okay, we're back and we're talking about a highly sensitive subject. So just know that we're not doing this with any joy in our hearts. We just. It's just something that I think is interesting. So blame it on reality. We talk about this movie yesterday and then Tina finds it on Amazon prime and you watch the entire thing.

[Tina]

The whole thing.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Tina]

I don't know how, but I do.

[Brian Green]

Give us the low lights because I don't think there's any highlights. Give us the low lights.

[Tina]

Two men going on vacation to Rio de Janeiro with their two daughters. One of them is going through a divorce.

[Brian Green]

That would be Michael Caine.

[Tina]

No, the other one. Okay, Michael Caine is not going through a divorce. He's the one who has the affair with the 17 year old.

[Brian Green]

Michelle Johnson.

[Tina]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Is who played this young lady.

[Tina]

Beautiful young girl, but young girl.

[Brian Green]

17 years old.

[Tina]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

17 in the movie, 17 in real life.

[Tina]

And her character is the aggressor.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Tina]

And that's very creepy.

[Brian Green]

Super creepy.

[Tina]

Because 17 year old girls don't run around doing that. It's very unnatural.

[Brian Green]

I don't think 17 year old girls pursue their best friend's father at 17. At least that's just.

[Tina]

And they run around topless on the beach with their daddies they still call daddy.

[Brian Green]

AI. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tina]

I'm not going topless with my dad and my uncle.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Tina]

Not even at 45 years. Like it's just never going to happen.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I am friends with a bunch of hippie dippy types, right? And nudity is the rue of the day. And when we've been to like parties in the woods and stuff. Yes, there are daughters of men that are there that are nude. But I would say that they're at least in my immediate circle. I'm not. I wasn't super familiar with these human beings and those girls were over 18 years old, if not over 21 years old, number one. Number two, there's like a Monica of respect about the fact, right? These are the daughters of other people in the crowd. I mean everyone's a daughter. They're there, their family is there. Be mindful right about this. It just seems like this is an ill conceived movie from the beginning. Even at 1980. Even in 1985.

[Tina]

Oh, fulfilled. Somebody's sick.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Tina]

Now sickness.

[Brian Green]

Listen to this.

[Tina]

I'm just gonna stop there.

[Brian Green]

On the real. You saw the part that I saw. You saw a part that I saw which was, Michael Caine is in bed with Michelle Johnson, who's 17 years old at the time in real life and 17 years old in the movie. Michael Caine is 52, or whatever he is. And he says to her, I remember the first time I kissed you. It was your bottom when your mom.

[Tina]

Was powdering your bottom.

[Brian Green]

Your mom was powdering your bottom.

[Tina]

I'm going to be the first man to kiss it. And he kissed her naked baby bottom.

[Brian Green]

And they keep that in the fudgeing movie.

[Tina]

It's still in the movie.

[Brian Green]

Is this just a reason for Michael Caine, the directors, the writers, the producers, to get on set with a bunch of young naked girls?

[Tina]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Get them in bed.

[Tina]

And it worked.

[Brian Green]

It worked.

[Tina]

I don't know how he took the role or how his agent let him take the role.

[Brian Green]

I have no idea. I mean, I know Michael Caine is, you know, like. I understand Michael Caine's career is not as illustrious as, you know, Anthony Hopkins or Harrison Ford or whatever, but he has recently been in every one of those fucking Interstellar, you know, all those movies. Interstellar.

[Tina]

Still a lot. Just doing some math in my head.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Let's. Let's find out how old he is.

[Tina]

When does he turn 100 this year?

[Brian Green]

He must turn 100 this year. Michael Kane, age. Okay, he's 92. So that was 30, 40 years ago. He was 52. He was 52 when that movie came out. Ideos mio. Ideos mio.

[Tina]

And so they're definitely obsessed with the sexuality of this particular blonde girl. The dad exclaims that he does not have his daughter on the pill. Michael Caine is now worried that he's gotten the child pregnant. Yes. It's all in the. It's. It's in the movie.

[Brian Green]

No shit.

[Tina]

You didn't put your. We put. He talks about how they put Demi Moore's character. We put her on right away.

[Brian Green]

Why are.

[Tina]

Who talks about this openly like this? And then apparently, the daughter had made some pact that she would call her dad before she had sex with a boy.

[Brian Green]

And she didn't call her dad before he. She had sex with his best friend.

[Tina]

Michael Caine's like, but what if she was on the beach and she's begging Michael Caine the whole time to tell dad about the affair? Yes. Yes. The whole movie is so it's just so bizarre.

[Brian Green]

It's given me chills.

[Tina]

I told you. I still feel weird from it.

[Brian Green]

I want to prep. I want to, like, say I am not approved by any stretch of the imagination. I am no like Daddy Dougal.

[Tina]

No, me either.

[Brian Green]

But I have daughters and they're. And I just like something. The protective nature in me comes out when I even hear the storyline. Like, how I would murder my best friend is what I'm thinking. If he decided to have an affair with my daughter at any age, let alone underage. And here's a little factoid that Christine, that, that Tina and I learned during the break. The other girl, the other child is Demi Moore. And Demi Moore was 14 years old when she filmed this movie. 14 years old. And she is also topless. Topless in this movie. How is this even still on Prime?

[Tina]

I don't know. I don't know. Why did I watch it?

[Brian Green]

There are parents that get arrested for putting pictures of their children in baths on Face on Facebook.

[Tina]

Yes, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Amazon is just like, where was Demi's.

[Tina]

Mom in all of this? Like, this is crazy.

[Brian Green]

I have no idea. Listen, this is just a long line in a history of women and men who have basically hoard their children out to Hollywood.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And they don't do anything to protect them. On the opposite, they over sexualize them. It happened famously with Brookshield is like the most famous example of this.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That is as her mom just basically fed her to the wolves and. And did not care. She was also 14 years old when she started doing like hyper sexual Calvin Klein ads. There's a movie out, a Lifetime documentary, I think, or an HBO doctor. A documentary or something about Brooke Shields and that time period in life when she was like famously 9 or 10 years old.

[Tina]

Was she topless in gas ads when she was a minor too?

[Brian Green]

She was topless. Yes, she was topless when she was a minor. 14 years old. But go back even further. 9 or 10 years old. There was a famous photographer took a bunch of nude photographs of her with makeup on. And like in these there. I wouldn't.

[Tina]

Oh, it's so.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't even think you can see the real photographs anymore.

[Tina]

Obviously.

[Brian Green]

I think they've been scrubbed online, but you can see ones with the blacked out version of it and the amount of makeup that she has on in those, it's just disturbing. And her mom at the time defended it as fine art. Right. It's fine art. It's not fine art. It's the hypersexualization of children.

[Tina]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

And for money and fame and wealth and pasta, you know, and to get her daughter, like. I can understand you want your daughter to be rich and famous and all that good stuff, but at what expense?

[Tina]

What cost?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, what cost. Brooke Shields has now spent a lifetime trying to kind of scrub that part of her life from her mind and from everybody else.

[Tina]

She had no. No say in the matter.

[Brian Green]

None. At 9 or 10 years old, you don't have anything. If your mom says it's okay, you're doing it right. That's just what you do. And so. And then that the movie Blue Lagoon, which we've all seen it, has run on basic cable. Yes, it does. Every year somewhere on basic cable. That movie.

[Tina]

America loves that movie.

[Brian Green]

I just don't. I'm sorry. I don't like it. I have never liked it. It's hard to watch. Yeah. First of all, there's very little dialogue. It's kind of boring. Who cares? They're on an island. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. But I think we could have gotten the point with some clothing on, too. We could have gotten the point with a couple of palm leaves over the kids. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We didn't need to have full penis and bush.

[Tina]

Adam and Eve. If you're crying out loud.

[Brian Green]

I know. For God's sake. Okay, you ready? You want to hear some of the reviews? Rotten Tomatoes review. Okay.

[Tina]

By the way, 7% on rotten tomatoes.

[Brian Green]

7%. At least the majority of people have their heads screwed on straight. Rotten Tomato reviews. I'm going to call these guys out by name. Michael L. Says I don't understand the negative reviews here. I've watched this movie since the 80s and I've always enjoyed watching it. Sure, it's creepy, but it's not like it's a super forbidden topic. These kind of things happen all the time. Get your head out of your ass.

[Tina]

Michael L. Where have you seen this happening?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Michael L. Who's. Who's. Yeah, who?

[Tina]

Where do you hang out?

[Brian Green]

Whose best friend's daughter are you sleeping with?

[Tina]

Thank you very much. I'm glad I don't know who you are.

[Brian Green]

Someone find Michael L. And do a welfare check on him. Stephen R. Is these reviews remind me of how puritanical our society has become to protect children from the auspices of grown ass adults.

[Tina]

Like yourself, sir.

[Brian Green]

Like yourself. Yes. Well, at least Haywood says. Worst music I've ever heard in a movie.

[Tina]

It's pretty terrible. It's pretty terrible.

[Brian Green]

Of all the things he could say Too. He says it's absolutely bizarre how the director feels the need to put a tropical bird in every scene in the movie.

[Tina]

Is that true? Very strange. Yes. And they're just sitting there. They're never really doing anything. It's awkward.

[Brian Green]

Here's. I want you to find Kirk on this one, guys. You ready? I have over 500 movies and I bought this because I remember it playing on HBO Exactly 40 years ago this week. Why did you put that on your calendar?

[Tina]

Why? Do you remember that?

[Brian Green]

Yes. Unless you're Rain Man, I'm really worried about.

[Tina]

Or Michael Caine. Or Jeffrey Baloney.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Jeffrey Baloney. By the way, this was just written a couple of days ago and it says it's the tail end of the early 80s movie nudity. But the girls are all stunning. I think the problem people have with this is that the star is 17 years old, but she's perfect. Physically perfect. Why not? I am shocked at the low rating. I give it a five out of five on the creepy Gen X shameless man scale. Someone check on you, Kirk? I mean, honestly, that's just weird, dude. This movie is a hidden gem, full of laughs. And given all of the stupid sensitivity around sexuality these days, some will find it a bit creepy. But everything is a fairy tale in this one. And the real world is a fairy tale.

[Tina]

Okay, so, you know, the guy's not divorced. The other daughter is now worried about all this whole situation because she's like, wait a minute, what's going on? So she calls.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Tina]

And the wife shows up in Rio. She's having affair with the father of the daughter that's sleeping with her husband. No. So now he has grounds now to say, get off your high horse. I may have slept your daughter, but you're fucking my wife.

[Brian Green]

This is the. This sounds like a. How did this even pass? How did anyone ever decide to put money into this movie? It's like, it sounds like the worst script. It would be interesting if there were adults involved in it. Then you could maybe make it and add some comedy along the way.

[Tina]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Then it would be interesting.

[Tina]

These were 30 year old girls, you know?

[Brian Green]

Yes. I have to be honest. The first 20 reviews are all from men who find this to be not problematic because the girls are beautiful. That's not the issue. And I understand there's. There. What is the difference between a 17 and an 18 year old? I don't know. I don't know what this. I don't know.

[Tina]

She can go to jail now. Yes, but somebody should have gone to jail on her Behalf.

[Brian Green]

That's correct.

[Tina]

For this.

[Brian Green]

The difference to me is, is just allowing children to be children.

[Tina]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And unmolested by a certain type of energy that, that you are permitting for as long as possible. And I'm not saying that should be until 25. I don't know the answers to all that. I don't have those, those answers. And of course some kids are more mature than others. And of course some kids are more physically mature than others. But there is a line in the sand. We have drawn it as a society.

[Tina]

That's correct.

[Brian Green]

And for a reason. Right. And I think you're. I think we would be well suited to try our best to just let kids be kids to the last possible moment when we have to let them in on this shitty fucking situation that's going on here. And that city shitty situation is Michael Caine's wrinkly ass penis.

[Tina]

They're going to be sexualized soon enough. Let me not be part of that.

[Brian Green]

Yes, let me not be part of it. Well, now you've done it. You've streamed it now Michael Caine's getting a check in the mail, 0.7 cents. Tina.

[Tina]

I hope that when he dies, Michelle Johnson gets all of his royalties.

[Brian Green]

Well, I hope Michelle Johnson is getting royalties. You know, that's the other thing.

[Tina]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Back in the 80s, kids were treated so miserably in the industry. They probably.

[Tina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Her mom got them and probably gave her nothing. There was like that child labor law came in to be, I think in the 90s or something. Yeah, like that. I don't know. We'll ask Corey Feldman next time he comes on. Changing subjects altogether. Corey Feldman is an absolute lunatic. That I am.

[Tina]

So I love that you follow him because I don't. So I get updates whenever you.

[Brian Green]

He. He has put out some new video. The AI video. He's putting out new music, people.

[Tina]

More music.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Like I think. I just can't understand whether or not this is a Kaufman situation or are we watching the world's biggest bonehead run around thinking he knows more than we do. Like, is he really in belief of his own talents or is he punking everybody? Or is he punking everybody? Or is it a little mix of both? Like he believes in his own talents, but he understands people, you know, are.

[Tina]

He gets that he's the joke.

[Brian Green]

He gets that he's the joke.

[Tina]

I hope it's a little of both.

[Brian Green]

I hope so too, for Corey Feldman's own sanity sake. But I bring up child acting to say that, you know, Corey has notoriously Been outspoken about abuse of minors inside of the Hollywood industry. He's called a lot of people out by name. He's called a lot of people out on behalf of his former best friend, Corey Haim out. One of those people was Charlie Sheen. He said that Charlie had, you know, assaulted Corey Haim, that Corey Haim had told him that. But I found an interesting reel, and I'd like your thoughts on it. Well, maybe we'll take a break and we'll get the thoughts on the. On. On. In the background, there is a growing contingent of people who believe that Michael Jackson may have been wrongly accused the entire time of indecent situations with children. I don't know how much I believe that. I think there's like kind of a mountain of evidence that Michael Jackson was a little weird with kids. But there are some people out there who are getting a little louder about their defense of him. And one of the things that they are using, one of the. One of the kind of hooks they're putting in the mountain to pull themselves up and talk about this is that Corey Feldman, and now I can't remember his name, the Kid from Home Alone have both vehemently defended Michael Jackson, denied that he ever did anything wrong with children. And both of them have also been loudly outspoken about other predators inside the industry.

[Tina]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So they're like, why just defend Michael Jackson? Wouldn't, you know, if you're gonna let the cat out of the bag, say it all now? They could just be doing that because they love Michael Jackson. They don't want it to be true. They weren't the. They weren't the targets. They weren't the victims, but other people were. But, you know, I don't know. It's an interesting conversation to have. Listen, Michael Jackson was a weird motherfucker.

[Tina]

Agreed.

[Brian Green]

Weird motherfucker.

[Tina]

He had a very weird upbringing as well. So, you know, that just. The industry just creates weirdos.

[Brian Green]

I agree.

[Tina]

Especially the earlier you get into it, the more likely you are to become a weirdo.

[Brian Green]

He had a crazy father.

[Tina]

Crazy.

[Brian Green]

Beat the shit out of all of us.

[Tina]

Massively abusive.

[Brian Green]

Massively abusive addict. Terrible human being. Just every well known to be a terrible human.

[Tina]

Yeah. Pimping his kids out.

[Brian Green]

Pimping his kids out. Just like, you know, Brooke Shields, mom.

[Tina]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

And then Michael, one of the youngest of the brood.

[Tina]

The youngest.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's youngest. I thought Janet was the youngest.

[Tina]

Oh, of the boys.

[Brian Green]

Of the boys. Youngest of the boys. And then the. Then the boys were also abusive too, and they were, you know, having sex with women, like, in the same bed where. Michael was just like a weird upbringing. And I think he encased himself in this childlike personality.

[Tina]

He never got to have one.

[Brian Green]

He never got to have one. Yeah, he was having it later in life.

[Tina]

Yes. And I think in my heart, that's what. That's all I'm comfortable believing about him.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right, fair enough.

[Tina]

He was just a weirdo. It didn't make him nefarious.

[Brian Green]

He was a weirdo. And for my. Some of my childhood, Michael Jackson was the. In my introduction to pop music.

[Tina]

Oh, yeah, me too. For sure.

[Brian Green]

And my. Probably my first musical obsession, Michael Jackson, right now. It didn't last for very long. That period didn't last for very long. But when those albums came out, bad.

[Tina]

In Thriller, they were so good.

[Brian Green]

You can't deny Billie Jean, all that stuff. You can't deny the power of that music and how good that I loved.

[Tina]

Even the later stuff when he was married to Lisa Marie. Man in the Mirror.

[Brian Green]

All the. I loved the mirror. Beautiful song. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tina]

Big fan, so.

[Brian Green]

Me too. But like a lot of people, once. And I still listen to his music. My kids are listening to his music now, and I don't know what to say. How do you separate the art from the man? I. I don't know. I don't know that. You can sometimes. And I don't have all the answers. But, man, I'll tell you what. Later on in life, because I, you know, what was an adult in the 2000s when all of that drama was going on with him, I just started to think, well, there's too much smoke. There's too much smoke.

[Tina]

I know. I never watched the documentary.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't. You shouldn't watch the documentary of that if you're. If you want to.

[Tina]

I just need to go on like this.

[Brian Green]

Astrid and I watched it together, and I think we were both thoroughly convinced when it was done. We were like, yeah, kind of weird. Yeah, that's. That's kind of fucking weird. It was kind of fucking weird with children. That's the. That's the thing. But then it's an interesting point to make that Corey Feldman, one of the most outspoken guys about sexual abuse inside of Hollywood, he took it to the police multiple times. He's been on every talk show you could ever imagine.

[Tina]

Wrote the book.

[Brian Green]

Wrote the book, did the whole thing, was involved in a documentary that hasn't seen the light of day.

[Tina]

But he says he helped with the Weinstein charges too. Right.

[Brian Green]

I think he had something to do with Something. Yeah. He has been there the entire time, through the MeToo movement, all of it. He has been there, and he has tried to protect other people. And then just to protect one person. Michael Jackson could be right.

[Tina]

It is strange.

[Brian Green]

It is strange. But Macaulay Culkin, too, is the same way, too. He has also been. I don't say he's been as outspoken, but he has talked about abuse inside of Hollywood.

[Tina]

He was over there all the time. Yeah, he hung out at Neverland Ranch a lot, to my understanding.

[Brian Green]

He was in videos.

[Tina]

Yeah, he was in videos.

[Brian Green]

That black and white Dan ain't Dan. You know what?

[Tina]

A good one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that was a good one.

[Tina]

Another good one.

[Brian Green]

So, I don't know, maybe we'll talk more about it after the break. Let's. We're running long now, Tina. Now we're chatting too much on the commercial break. Look at me. I got to pay some bills. I keep these lights on for the next episode. All right, we'll be back. Okay.

[Rachel]

You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid. When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom 60th. And never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone.

[Brian Green]

Learn [e-mail] this podcast is supported by FX's English teacher. Last year's critically acclaimed series returns to follow Evan, Gwen and Markie as they vie for their students divided attention. See why Cosmopolitan called its premiere season a masterclass of comedy while glamour raved it's the year's funniest and most heartwarming new comedy series, FX's English Teacher. All new Thursdays on FX. All episodes now streaming on Hulu. The new Popeyes and Hot Ones menu is fire flavor.

[Tina]

Trust me, because I'm about to eat it.

[Rachel]

That hits right away.

[Brian Green]

Attempt the Popeyes Hot Ones menu in stores. Love that chicken from Popeyes. Limited time in participating U.S. restaurants. Okay. All right, so we're back. We're talking about Michael Jackson. Some people online are becoming louder and louder in their defense of Michael Jackson. There's always been defenders of Michael Jackson. A lot of people don't believe that he ever did anything wrong with these children. And in case you weren't alive or you're just not kept up to date on the whole situation, Michael was accused by a number of different children in famous lawsuits. He was arrested at one point, I believe he was arrested. He was taken to trial. He's never found guilty, but he died, I think, before some of these charges could be brought against him. But he was accused of molesting children while they were over at Neverland Ranch. Now, I, Astrid and I asked ourselves this question. We saw this movie. Who one of these children was just allowed to stay with Michael Jackson in his bedroom for like. Like, nights on end?

[Tina]

Yeah. This is a parent problem.

[Brian Green]

This is a parent problem. I don't even let my children do sleepovers, and I'm not sure I ever will. Because you just can't control what happens.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

In other people's houses. And Michael Jackson. I don't care if you trusted Michael Jackson to the X, to you. Like, this dude would never. Like he was your brother. Michael Jackson is a circus. And he travels in a constant circus of people and places and things. And that Neverland Ranch was a fucking theme park.

[Tina]

And I'm not letting my child spend the night with a strange man, period. Bed, period. No, ever.

[Brian Green]

No. So you're setting yourself up. Michael was setting himself up from the beginning to have problems. So any way you look at it, the optics were not good. Ever. Because Michael admitted he famously went on, you know, did that interview with that Bashir, whatever his name was. He did that long interview, that long ABC interview where he famously was nervous and he admit. He just. He didn't come across great. It didn't sound like he was telling the truth. And he said he was a very.

[Tina]

Shy person, believe it or not, but he was a very shy person.

[Brian Green]

So I would be too, if I didn't have a nose. You know what I'm saying he was, like, always holding his hand up near his nose. I didn't do it. I didn't touch those kids. That's ridiculous.

[Tina]

That's pretty good.

[Brian Green]

That's ridiculous. These are lies. All these are lies. These children. This is so innocent. I love children. And the little bottoms. I love when they run around with the little.

[Tina]

Now, now.

[Brian Green]

Hey. Sorry, Sorry.

[Tina]

I'm just shy.

[Brian Green]

What you say? I can't hear you. I don't have ears. They burned off in the Pepsi commercial. Bashir, you're just. You're ugly. That's ugly. He would say that. He'd be like, that's ugliness. I don't. I don't have any ugliness. Look at my nose. I don't have any ugliness. Can I have my nose back?

[Tina]

Poor guy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, poor guy had no nose.

[Tina]

I know.

[Brian Green]

And he was hopped up on all those pain meds.

[Tina]

His skin was weird and.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, listen, I. I have seen it in my own personal life. Sometimes people get addicted to the plastic surgery because they get addicted to the medications and they have to. It's like a big vicious circle. And that plastic surgeon just tore that guy apart. I mean, he really did. Michael didn't have a nose. He did not. You can see pictures where it's just like the two nost. You know, the two holes in his nose.

[Tina]

He looked like a. Yeah, like a skeletal remain.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he did. He really did. And so in any case, Michael in the optics was not good. He decided to do that interview. It got worse. And then the lawsuits came, and then the criminal charges came. But he was. I don't think he was ever found guilty of anything.

[Tina]

Right. It's still a question mark.

[Brian Green]

So now there's this growing contingent of people. For a long time now, Michael's reputation has really been in the shitter. Now he's dead. He can't even defend himself anymore. But there's a growing contingent of people who claim that Michael never did anything with children. Children not. And how do they know that? I. I don't know. They just. They're defending him for one reason or another. Here is Corey Feldman. I think this is. I think this is maybe like seven years ago. That's with. He's with Matt Lauer.

[Tina]

My mind's Matt.

[Brian Green]

You believe that children are being abused by.

[Tina]

Absolutely.

[Brian Green]

So why are you sitting down talking to me? Why aren't you sitting down with the police right now? I've told the police. I. I sat there and I gave them the names, but they were scanning Michael Jackson all they cared about was trying to find something on Michael Jackson. You said, by the way, did not. Michael was innocent. You've said you've had death threats. Another reason, I think, to go to police, that's a crime, to threaten someone's life. I've gone to the police with that as well. What would be wrong with going to the police now? Again, there's a statue of limitations, Matt, in the state of California, which protects people. It's not that way in New York. It's that way only. Only where the movie industry is, conveniently enough, in California. If I were to go to the police, I would be the one who's getting sued. Okay, so this is just one of the many hundreds of times that Corey has, like, been out there loud and proud saying Michael did nothing. And when I took this other stuff to the police, the statute limitations had run out and all they wanted to hear about was Michael Jackson. They didn't care about anything else. I was saying they just wanted Michael, Michael, Michael. So now other people are saying they were just out to get them. Yeah, right. For what reason? I don't know. I mean, you know, when you travel in circles with very rich, very powerful people, this is not conspiratorial thinking. This is just me being real pragmatic. When you travel in those circles, you're going to have to. And you interact with those people. You're going to have to watch your back a little bit, because you may get involved in something, you may see something, you may hear something, you may say something that rubs people the wrong way. And people who have the ability to take action and make sure that you behave in the way they want you to behave. And I think the bigger that you get, the larger the target on your back. We all know that to be a fact, and this is just the way that it is. Maybe Michael knew something, said something, had something, did something. Yeah, maybe people wanted his catalog. Maybe other people wanted to sue him to get at his money. Though I hear he was also always very generous with his money. They probably could have just asked, I don't know. But, you know, when you got billions of dollars worth of royalties. But the thing was, is that Michael was kind of broke. Like, I mean, Michael didn't have any money.

[Tina]

Neverland went bankrupt, I believe it did.

[Brian Green]

It got foreclosed on multiple times, I believe. So this leads to an interesting. Another conversation that I'm going to share here on the commercial break, and I'm going to try and take the politics completely out of it. I'm not going to. I'm not going to speculate or make conjecture. I'm just going to share a story. This may get banned. This may. They may take this off the streaming services or YouTube, I don't know. A couple of days ago. Let me start at the beginning. There was a special election, I believe, in New Jersey because a Republican House member left Arizona. Oh, Arizona, I'm sorry. And a Democrat was voted in.

[Tina]

Correct.

[Brian Green]

It is incumbent upon the speaker of the House to swear that person in. In a special session. But the speaker largely has control of when that special session happens.

[Tina]

Largely.

[Brian Green]

Largely.

[Tina]

He's. It's been delayed, I think twice now.

[Brian Green]

Okay. When the shoe was on the other foot, but. And there was a special election where a Republican won. Mike Johnson took heed to do instantaneously, post haste. Right. So there's a lot of whining and complaining on the Democrats side because this woman who has been elected, this Democrat, represents maybe the vote that will allow the Epstein files to get released. So there is a lot at stake with just this one woman's. This poor woman's special election.

[Tina]

Poor lady.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. And she's already said she's going to vote to allow the Epstein file, that she's going to vote with the Democrats and some Republicans to allow the Epstein files to be released. Without getting into that whole fucking quagmire, there are some people on the left who are really upset that Mike Johnson keeps delaying this. And so the other day you may have seen that a young man, who I'm not going to name here, he put out a real video on TikTok first. Then it went to Instagram where he claimed that he had a Grinder profile of Mike Johnson and the IP address to prove that it was Mike Johnson using that account. And he said, swear her in by Wednesday, which is today, as we're recording. Or I release the files, I release the information I have. I'm not fucking around. I'm not above it. It. I don't care. Fuck you. Essentially. And he said that right then that reel, that guy had about 40,000 followers.

[Tina]

Yeah. Not a real big account, not huge.

[Brian Green]

But he, he was largely doing political commentary, right? And it's clear that he leans very far to the left. Then that particular reel, that video then got amplified hundreds of times by accounts much, much bigger than his. Some of the biggest accounts in liberal social media and even some right wing social media accounts propagated that particular. That first reel where he said this, where he made those. He. He threatened, essentially. He threatened, you do this Or I do that. That's what he said, right? Quid pro quo. Either you get it, you get it done. I keep them keep it safe and sound. You don't do it. I'm. I'm releasing the hounds this morning. This young man came out with a reel, which I'm not going to play here because I believe that might get banned. That might. That might be what gets me banned. Band visibly shaken Visibly shaken. So everyone's waiting till Wednesday. A lot of people were like, release it anyway. Who cares?

[Tina]

I was. I was looking at his page while I was watching that stupid movie.

[Brian Green]

Everybody's waiting for this kid to act right. This guy probably looks like he's in his 30s. Today. He puts out a real, very visibly shaken. This is also being amplified by some of these same accounts because everyone now is waiting for the follow up. What are you going to do? What's your next move? Move where he explains that he has talked to some attorneys, he's gotten some legal representation and some new. And he's consulted with some investigative journalists and some respected news organizations and he has handed over the materials that he has to multiple different outlets and sources. It is no longer just him who has this information. By the way, these rumors have been going around since March. I did a little investigating myself. This is. He's not the first one to say this. This. He is not the first one to claim that. Mike Johnson Grinder account. And if he does cares. Well, I think. Why. It's.

[Tina]

I think. Yeah, I think the really right leaning, especially the fundamentalists will care.

[Brian Green]

They will care. But I don't care.

[Tina]

I don't care.

[Brian Green]

The thing is, you can't then go like, you know, stomping and tramping all over people's rights and you're part of the group. Like, it just doesn't make sense.

[Tina]

Protection.

[Brian Green]

Yes. It's. It's a lot, A lot of self hating going on. If that's true. Right. And I don't know that it's true. True. It very well could just be a ruse. This guy could just be talking. Who knows?

[Tina]

Who knows?

[Brian Green]

So he puts out this reel and then he says, I am some. I've been moved. I'm somewhere safe. I am not a harm to myself. I will not do harm to others. If that happens. It's not me. Right? I'm not the one.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He's shaken. And he explains that this got out of control and I'm in a. I'm in a world of. But I'm standing my ground. I'm not Backing down, down. So what does that mean? I don't know. I assume what that means is he's handed over the materials for review by people who can actually vet it. Vet it?

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's not just a dude on Instagram now. It's. I don't know, I'm just making conjecture here. 60 Minutes, the new York Times, the Wall Street Journal, somebody who's got the bona fides to say, we did the homework. We double checked and triple checked.

[Tina]

This is legit.

[Brian Green]

This is legit. And our lawyer, our legal team has said we have the right to publish this. So will it come out? I don't know. Know, it might be bullshit and they might call bullshit on it or he just could be wrong.

[Tina]

Like, is the story going to come out tomorrow if the, the swear. Swearing in, I assume isn't going to happen during a government shutdown.

[Brian Green]

Nope, there's no swearing in going to go on during a government shutdown. How convenient, isn't it? Yeah, how convenient. This is just like these games that the. But I, I will share that. This goes along with what I was saying about Michael Jackson and why anyone would target Michael Jackson. Because when you, you mess with the bull, you get the horns. And he got the horns or he's getting the horns.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

There have been multiple people who have reported on this guy, who know this guy, who are close to this guy, that he's now being followed by unmarked vehicles and people. Of course he is. Of course he is.

[Tina]

What did you think was gonna happen?

[Brian Green]

What did you think was gonna happen? Normal citizens who have done nothing wrong, people who are here legally doing nothing wrong are being followed by the military.

[Tina]

Right.

[Brian Green]

By blacked out vehicles and guys with masks and guns and, you know, no badges and no identifying information to the.

[Tina]

Point that I don't trust blacked out vehicles anymore.

[Brian Green]

No, I saw, I saw me personally in my own neighborhood. I saw it. I saw a police officer, a marked police officer talking to a guy in a truck with blacked out tinted windows. And on the back it said, you know, a dealership vehicle without the name of the dealership. And then inside of the car were two guys in full regalia.

[Tina]

Like tactical gear.

[Brian Green]

Tactical gear. Full regalia. No way they were talking to the police officer in a parking lot. It looked like a normal car except the blacked out windows.

[Tina]

Yeah, the tint is so dark you can't even make out silhouettes inside.

[Brian Green]

That's it. It's scary.

[Tina]

Scary because even Homeland Security, it's marked. You can see Homeland Security on the Car. It's usually just like a flat black on a shiny paint job. Yes, but these. These don't have any markings at all.

[Brian Green]

No, there's no markings in a lot of cases.

[Tina]

They're not government tags.

[Brian Green]

They're like minivans.

[Tina]

It's creepy.

[Brian Green]

It's creepy. It's weird. And it's in our neighborhood. It's here in the city, right next to me. It makes it. I. I know it's going on because I watch the news and I see on social media. But listen, we can have the debate all day long about whether or not someone has broken the law by crossing an imaginary line in the sand. We can have that debate, but they deserve their due in court, their day in court. And they also deserve to be respected in the process.

[Tina]

Basic dignity.

[Brian Green]

Basic dignity. And.

[Tina]

And they're not asking who they voted for, by the way.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, no, it's not about that. It's not about that. That's right. So this guy is about to find out what life is like in 2025 under this new.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

In this America, because it's a whole different ball game than it was even just four years ago. It's a whole different ball game. I'm not saying this hasn't been going on for ever and ever.

[Tina]

People in high places, and it's out in front.

[Brian Green]

It's out in the open. Yeah, it's. It's out in the open, and it is amplified.

[Tina]

It's crazy.

[Brian Green]

It is.

[Tina]

I'm worried for this guy.

[Brian Green]

I'm worried for him, too. Do. I don't. I don't know if I agree with what he's doing or not.

[Tina]

I'm just neither here nor there.

[Brian Green]

I'm just a witness to what's going on. I'm not saying yay, nay. He should be. He shouldn't be any of that stuff. And. And by the way, I just don't give a. Whether or not someone is gay. I just don't give a. But I will share with you right now that I have real concerns for this guy's safety, especially seeing the initial.

[Tina]

Post and then seeing today's update.

[Brian Green]

If he's doing this as a joke. Joke, this is the worst prank. He should. Yeah, someone has it. My. My assumption is. And I told this to Tina, my assumption is a lot of powerful people amplified this. People who have millions of followers, people who get hundreds of millions of views, and they probably have very powerful people that watch them, follow them. My assumption is that someone in that audience said, you better get a hold of this Guy real quick before someone else does.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He needs to be in a safe place. He needs to let this material go to a number of different other safe places. And he needs legal help. He needs lawyers all around him.

[Tina]

And somebody get him a vest.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, someone get him a vest. That's right. Let's not even get into that one. Let's not get in to recent conspiracy theories, because Brian's onto one. I'm not a conspiracist.

[Tina]

One made in America.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, one made in America. That's right. No Israeli vests, please. Keep those away. All right. Okay.

[Tina]

That was a roller coaster.

[Brian Green]

I liked it. Yeah, I'm fun. This is fun. I like this. I like this. I'm into it. Every once in a while, you got to throw in a more serious episode so everyone knows we're on top of things. We go from puas.

[Tina]

Hey, it's the commercial bike.

[Brian Green]

It's a commercial bike. What? What else did you expect from this Looney Tune podcast? And by the way, I have no dog in this fight, Mike Johnson. So stay away. I don't stay away from me. I don't.

[Tina]

Just reporting the facts.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, just reporting. Just reporting what I'm observing. Yeah. And I imagine millions and millions of other people also, if the popularity of those reels are any indication, maybe 100 million Americans have seen that particular reel. That's it.

[Tina]

Made it to me. And I don't even have TikTok.

[Brian Green]

So, yeah, there you go. All right, so Chrissy's out of town. She'll be back in a couple of weeks. I hope she's having fun. I hope you have a wonderful time. Mempho tickets are still available because it starts tomorrow as you're listening to this Friday, October 3rd. So go to Mempho Fest.com that's M E M P H O Fest.com. get your tickets, go say hi to Chrissy. If you can manage to pin her down for more than two seconds, say hi, tell her you love her, give her a big hug. You can also get a hold of us here in the studio. 212-433. TCB 21243-3822. Questions? Comments, concerns, content? Ideas? We were out last week, so I'm still catching up. So give me a minute. I'll get back to you, I promise. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Tick Tock, and you can go to the website tcbpodcast.com all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your free TCB Sticker. If you go to the website, you go to the drop down menu. On the contact us button. It says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address, we'll send you one. No must, no fuss. Takes a couple weeks to get there, so be patient. Also, I hear everyone's getting their merch. Did you get your merch?

[Tina]

I did. I got one of. One of them.

[Brian Green]

You got one piece of merch? Okay, merch is rolling out the door. We're getting text messages and pictures and stuff like that. So if you ordered merch, expect it shortly. I promise it's coming. Also, one more thing. Watch this video and all the other [e-mail] the commercial break. If the man allows this episode to go out the door.

[Tina]

Now I'm curious.

[Brian Green]

Now I am too. We'll see. Okay. All right, Tina. That's all I could do for now. I'll tell you that I love you.

[Tina]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you.

[Tina]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Tina and I will will say we do say and we must say goodbye. Goodbye.

[Rachel]

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[Rachel]

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[Brian Green]

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[Brian Green]

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