That TCB Lifestyle

Summary

The Commercial Break — “That TCB Lifestyle”

Date: September 17, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Overview:
This episode exemplifies the freewheeling, irreverent style of The Commercial Break, blending pop culture banter, personal anecdotes, live show hype, and signature raunchy comedy. Bryan and Krissy cover everything from TV show awards snubs to festival drug safety, health awareness PSA’s, and an in-depth (and off-color) look at an obscure medical condition, all while staying true to their “chaotic, unpolished charm.”

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1. Main Theme & Purpose

Main Theme:
Bryan and Krissy riff on the unpredictability of their podcast's categorization (“lifestyle” not comedy), review TV awards season gripes, get psyched (and nervous) for their impending live shows, and dive into a slew of wild, darkly comic conversations about personal health, festival drug safety, and a viral video about a man with persistent sexual arousal syndrome.
Purpose:
To entertain with unfiltered friendship banter, relatable tangents, twisted pop culture analysis, and intentionally under-researched life “advice”—all culminating in a high-energy, no-holds-barred listening experience.

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2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

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A. The Podcast’s Genre Identity Crisis ([02:55])

• The duo laments Spotify categorizing their show as “lifestyle,” not “comedy.” Bryan (sarcastically):

  “I don’t know what Dum Dum at Spotify or Dum Dum AI at Spotify put us in the lifestyle category. We’re barely comedy. You should put us in the OTHER category. Other!” [03:10]

B. TV, Awards Season, and “The Bear” ([01:14–07:44])

• Bryan and Chrissy riff on their TV watchlist, the Emmys snubbing "The Bear" in the comedy category, and their shared compulsion to never catch up on hyped shows.
• They debate whether “The Bear” is a comedy or drama, segueing into chat about “Shogun,” “Hacks,” and “Palm Royale.”
• Bryan:

  “It’s really nice that we come in here, we talk about all these shows, and I don’t know one person on any of these shows.” [06:00]

C. Live Show Anticipation & Anxiety ([07:52–12:54])

• Excitement and nerves about upcoming live shows at Dania Beach Improv (Sept 24) and Orlando’s Funny Bone (Sept 25).
• Discussion about getting out of their comfort zone, meeting listeners, and expectations for attendance:

  “These may be our only two live shows, so you make sure you get down there if you have an opportunity. I mean, I got kids. I can’t be on the road, you know, 200 days a year.” [08:50]

• Bryan jokes about requesting a cot and melatonin on their show rider in case he needs a nap halfway through.
• Running gags about “payment in bones” (leftover comedy club chicken) and the dubious life of touring podcasters.

D. Drug Safety at Festivals — ‘Let Them Test the Drugs!’ ([13:13–21:17])

• Bryan’s alarm at festival organizers refusing to let harm reduction groups test attendee drugs for contaminants like fentanyl or “synthetic molly.”
• He argues strongly in favor of free, accessible drug tests at pharmacies and festivals:

  “If you don’t want people dead at your doorstep, then let them test the drugs. Who f***ing cares? They’re going to do the drugs anyway.” [19:15]

• Story about National Geographic’s “Drugs, Inc.”: synthetic drugs from China, mail seizures, and the unpredictable risks on today’s streets.
• Reflection on how the “game has changed” since their younger days; then, the worst you’d get was oregano for weed—now, it’s potential poisoning.

E. Upcoming Festival Hype: Mempho Fest ([21:17–22:04])

• Shoutout to Chrissy’s partner Jeff’s Memphis music fest, with headliners including Cody Jenkins, Trey Anastasio Band, Goose, The Roots, Digable Planets, and Jack White. [21:42]

F. Health PSA Comedy – “Cocktober” & The 21-EPM Sticker ([24:09–27:01])

• With "Cocktober" approaching, Bryan resurrects his (Stern-inspired) campaign:

  “21 ejaculations per month can reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer in this lifetime by some estimates, 25%.” [25:01]

• Raunchy encouragement: “Get your rocks off, guys, and make sure you jizz all over the house...just get it done.” [25:31]
• On the lighter side: Krissy’s recent foray into contacts/i-wear for the reading-impaired, and Bryan’s own struggles with progressive lenses.

G. Viral Oddity: Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS) ([28:35–43:40])

• Segment Start: [28:35]
• The duo reacts to a British TV piece about Dale Decker, a man who claims 100+ spontaneous orgasms a day after a slipped disk injury.

  “This is probably not funny to Dale Decker, by the way, what a great name for this condition. But I do have to say it is a little bit silly.” —Bryan [29:42]

• The story is both played for laughs and considered with compassion.
  Memorable moment:

  Dale (TV clip): “When you’re on your knees at your father’s funeral, at his casket, and you’re saying goodbye to him, and then you have nine orgasms right there...” [31:40]

• Bryan jokes about medical possibilities, suggesting a new wife with a similar “condition,” or a lucrative OnlyFans/Chatterbait career.
• Krissy and Christina (liner voice) add punchy asides and express genuine empathy for people with this diagnosis.

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H. Brief Pop Culture — JLo, Ben Affleck, and “Celebrity Realness” ([46:33–52:46])

• Quick tangent about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s on-off romance:

  “What in the good golly Miss Molly is going on in that relationship? ...They’re just like so many relationships I’ve been in: breakup, makeup, kick me out of my own house.” —Bryan [47:10]

• Respect for Ben as “a guy’s guy,” and for JLo “falling in love with a normal dude.”
• Touch on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, the press's treatment of celeb relationships, and speculation about handling that level of fame.

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I. Trump, Taylor Swift, and Political Rants ([52:46–56:27])

• Bryan deconstructs Trump’s recent slam on Taylor Swift:

  “She’s got, what, 380 million followers on Instagram? ...I just don’t understand strategically why [he] had to say ‘I hate Taylor Swift.’ ...Seems like a very strong statement to make for no good whatsoever.” [53:38]

• Both hosts breathe a sigh of relief regarding recent Secret Service interventions following political violence, and Bryan jokes about needing Krissy as his bodyguard:

  “I want you on my Secret Service. I want you standing right in front of me everywhere we go.” [56:27]

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J. Life Updates, Pet Diabetes, and the TCB “Lifestyle” ([57:14–59:00])

• Bryan suspects his dog Blue has diabetes and shares a darkly comic Wilford Brimley/hover-round riff.
• Rapid fire: random musical shout-outs (They Might Be Giants, Sturgill Simpson), modest self-deprecation about ticket sales, and reminders about upcoming live shows.

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K. Notable Liners and Closers (Various Timestamps)

• “If you got a softie in your brain, you’re gonna have a softie in your hands, you know what I’m saying?” —Bryan [60:57]
• “Just keep coming, just like you said. I’m going to remember those words for the rest of my life.” —Bryan, on Dale Decker’s “inspirational” words [43:28]

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3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On festival drug testing:

  “If you don’t want people dead at your doorstep, then let them test the drugs. Who f***ing cares? They’re going to do the drugs anyway.” —Bryan [19:15]

• On prostate health (“Cocktober”):

  “So get your rocks off, guys... have sex with a small car. I don’t care.” —Bryan [25:31]

• On Dale Decker (Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome):

  “When you’re on your knees at your father’s funeral, at his casket, and you’re saying goodbye to him, and then you have nine orgasms right there.” —Dale Decker (clip) [31:40]
  “Dale Decker, Dirk Diggler...the double D’s, they’re all there.” —Bryan [46:31]

• On JLo & Ben Affleck:

  “They found love and they can’t get rid of it. It’s probably a bad, it’s probably a toxic relationship at some level, but they just can’t get rid of each other.” —Bryan [47:19]

• Show sign-off riff:

  “If you got a softie in your brain, you’re gonna have a softie in your hands, you know what I’m saying?” —Bryan [60:57]

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4. Timestamps for Key Segments

• Spotify Category Rant: [02:55]
• Emmys/TV Chat (“The Bear”): [01:14–07:44]
• Live Show Anticipation: [07:52–12:54]
• Drug Safety at Festivals: [13:13–21:17]
• Mempho Fest Lineup: [21:17–22:04]
• “Cocktober” PSA: [24:09–27:01]
• Contact Lens Misadventures: [26:28–28:26]
• Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (Dale Decker): [28:35–43:40]
• JLo, Ben Affleck, Celebrity Fame: [46:33–52:46]
• Trump v. Taylor Swift: [52:46–56:27]
• TCB Pet Updates/Music Riffs: [57:14–59:00]
• Closing, Ticket Reminders: [59:03–end]

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5. Tone & Style

The episode is packed with friendly irreverence, self-deprecating humor, and fast-flying banter. Bryan leads many of the tangents with Krissy chiming in, both using sarcasm and running gags. Even when discussing real or dark topics (drug safety, prostate cancer, medical oddities), the hosts maintain a light, conversational tone, punctuated by sudden swings into the absurd or taboo. Occasional asides from “Christina” (the show’s playful “liner” voice) inject additional meta-comedy.

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6. Quick Reference: Where to Find More

• Live Show Tickets & Info: In episode show notes and at TCBPodcast.com
• Follow:
  • Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
  • TikTok: CBPodcast
  • Text/voicemail: 212-4333-TCB (212-433-3822)
  • Podcast/Clips: YouTube.com/TheCommercialBreak
  • All content: tcbpodcast.com

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In Short

“That TCB Lifestyle” is a showcase of The Commercial Break’s unpredictable, gloriously meandering spirit—digging into pop culture rabbit holes, gleefully subverting any sense of structure, and making the best (or worst) of the podcast medium’s “lifestyle” label. For listeners, it’s like eavesdropping on two best friends riffing with no filter and even less shame.

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Best to you!

Transcript

[Chrissy]

I'm Mr. Sterling's right hand arm man. I'm Mr. Sterling everything. I'm his confidant, his best friend.

[Brian]

His silly rabbit. His what?

[Chrissy]

His silly rabbit. His silly rabbit, yes. Is that what he calls you? No.

[Brian]

On this episode of the commercial break. You know, this may not be. I'm not. I don'. Life advice here, Dale, but maybe this lady you're married to is not the right wife. Maybe you need like a nymphomaniac wife and then the two of you can help each other just like solve the problem. You know what I'm saying? There's someone out there for you, Dale, and you got to figure it out. When life gets down, just keep coming. Just like you said. I'm going to remember those words for the rest of my life. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Christina]

Best to you. Right.

[Brian]

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I was going to say you're my hat. You're the hacks to my bear.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian]

But I don't know that everyone would pick up on that. But I don't know that people pick up on half the I say, so you're the hacks to my bear.

[Chrissy]

I get what you mean by that.

[Brian]

I've never even seen the bear. Never seen one full episode. Not yet. AST and I have it on our list. It's our next thing to tackle. And then shogun and then the other seasons of hacks that I haven't watched. Every, every time there's like Emmys or the Oscars, AST start putting together lists and we're like, we gotta watch this. And we never end up watching it. But the bear is on my list because I worked in the restaurant industry and I think I would get it. I think it's like, you know, I think so too. I get it. And because it's apparently so good. Or season one and two, as some people are, are mixed on the season three. But I don't listen to the critics. I watch sister wives for God sake.

[Chrissy]

I know. I was playing when I was.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Cody and his hijinks.

[Brian]

Yeah, I just. I put it on in the background. I can't take those people. It was never going to work out anyway. I don't want to talk about sister wives. I don't give a. But the bear apparently is very, very good. And it was snubbed because apparently some people don't think season three they were. This is the confusing part, apparently for your consideration, season two. But many people believe that for your consideration wasn't considered. And that people watched season three and said, wow, this is kind of an intense and down the rabbit hole, deep and philosophical season. Like, you know, an insiders kind of look at the brains of the people that are working. And so it's not really funny. And therefore it was passed up for best comedy. Now I don't know because I've never seen it.

[Chrissy]

I was surprised that it was in the comedy category to begin with.

[Brian]

It has been pitched as a comedy, I guess.

[Chrissy]

So. I mean, there's some funny parts.

[Brian]

I'm surprised we're in the comedy category, actually. We're not on Spotify. Did you know that? We are not a comedy podcast on Spotify. We're lifestyle. Lifestyle.

[Chrissy]

We're on the lifestyle.

[Brian]

Yeah. Cuz Spotify does their own. Like they won't let you choose. They just do their own. They categorize you. And I don't know what Dumb. Dumb at Spotify. God bless people at Spotify. I have nothing against them, but I don't know what Dum Dum at Spotify or Dum Dum AI at Spotify put us in the lifestyle category. We're barely comedy. You should put us in the other category. Other. And we might get on those charts. So. Yeah. So the bear was snubbed at the Emmys last night. Hacks take makes the. And I. I watched. I watched season one. I thought it was fantastic. I really did.

[Chrissy]

Season two was really good as well.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

And then season three wasn't actually my favorite. That just came out.

[Brian]

I don't know, I haven't gotten to it yet. And then Shogun takes away 18 Emmy awards.

[Chrissy]

I thought you said you had watched that. We talked about.

[Brian]

No, no, no, no, no. The. The other one. That's Warrior. No, the LA Confidential. No, not LA Confidential.

[Chrissy]

Oh, no, it was Tokyo. Tokyo Vice.

[Brian]

Yes, Tokyo Vice. Shogun is in the. Wasn't. It's about the 1600s.

[Chrissy]

Like something like.

[Brian]

Something like that.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I can't wait to watch it times.

[Brian]

Japanese. What's that?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, but it's a great show.

[Brian]

Is it?

[Chrissy]

Jeff and I loved it.

[Brian]

My brothers have watched it. They've all said it's just fantastic. So that's on our list too. I know Astro won't watch that with me, so I think I get started on that one. But God bless if I start the bear without her. God Bless if. Start the.

[Chrissy]

No, you can't do that.

[Brian]

Can't do that.

[Chrissy]

There's a whole, like, unwritten thing, too, with the. With the. The partners.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

That you cannot start something or get further into something you both have started.

[Brian]

No, no, I'll tell you which one. There was that one with Amy. Was Amy Poehler. What was the one that. Where she was playing the. It was like the. The Hollywood Country Club. What was that called? Palm something.

[Chrissy]

Oh, Palm Royale. And that's Kristen Wiig.

[Brian]

Kristen Wiig. I'm sorry. Yes. Kristen Wiig. Palm Royale.

[Chrissy]

That was a bizarre show.

[Brian]

Astrid started watching it. I walked in one night, I caught like, 15 minutes, and I was like, oh, this is great. I want to watch this. And she's like, okay, well, I'm on episode number three. You got to catch up. And I said, she goes, so I'll stop after this if you're going to catch up. And I was like, I'll do it. And then two weeks later, I got to it. No, I got to it. I watched one episode and I was like, yeah. I said, go ahead.

[Chrissy]

I kept going with it just because I love Kristen Wiig and, like, Carol Burnet. And there's a lot of good, really good, you know, actors in there.

[Brian]

Laura Dern is Carol Burnett in the Bear also?

[Chrissy]

I don't think so.

[Brian]

No. Who's in the. Who's in the Bear? It's a bunch of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I loved that. The lead actor. I loved him in the Wrestler. I thought that was fantastic with I. You know, it's really nice that we come in here, we talk about all these shows, and I don't know one person on any of these shows.

[Chrissy]

The Wrestler, was that with Mickey Rourke?

[Brian]

No, no, no, that was the. Oh, what was that? The red. Sorry, I've got this. You can hear me typing.

[Christina]

The.

[Chrissy]

Know that lead actor, Jeremy. He also just did like, a campaign for Calvin Klein or somebody, like a modeling campaign.

[Brian]

Oh, the Iron Claw. Yeah, he did. He's. He's a handsome guy. I mean, like, I don't think, like handsome in the most traditional of senses. He's got kind of a big jaw. The Iron Claw is what I watch. The Wrestler was with Mickey Rourke. Jeremy.

[Chrissy]

I was right.

[Brian]

Jeremy, Ellen White. He. He was one of the brothers in this movie, the Iron Claw. Now, I understand this. Probably not everybody's cup of tea, but I thought that movie was fucking okay.

[Chrissy]

I saw it pull up on my suggestions and I almost watched it, and then I didn't.

[Brian]

It's worth the two hours.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

It really is. And Zac Efron is blown in that movie. That guy is swole. I don't understand how he transforms his body like that. Because Zach's, you know, he's a nice guy. He's kind of buff. He's got a little bit of muscle, but you don't think of. Zach is like a bodybuild type. And when you see him in this movie, it is evident that. I mean, I don't want to, like, cast dispersions. And I do not know this. This is Brian hypothesizing that Zach must have had some help, some testosterone, something, because he is so big in this movie. And his whole face is big. Like his jaw gets distorted. Didn't he break his jaw doing that movie or something? I feel like he broke his jaw doing.

[Chrissy]

I think he might be right.

[Brian]

Neck and his jaw. Something like that. Anyway, Jeremy Allen White is a fucking fantastic in that movie. So I'm so interested to see the bear. I'm glad we're talking about how Brian wants to eventually watch the bear. Aren't you glad you tuned in today? Aren't you glad you.

[Chrissy]

Breaking news.

[Brian]

Breaking news.

[Chrissy]

It's good that you have aspirations and goals.

[Brian]

I do have aspirations, goals. They mainly.

[Chrissy]

We're gonna get on the plane. Well, we're gonna be on a plane, too.

[Brian]

That's right. One week away from today, we'll be in Orlando. As you're listening to this, we'll be in Orlando and then six days from now will be in Dania beach at the Dania Improv. And, man, we could not be more excited and dreading it. All of it. I'm just dreading going through security. That's like what I get stressed about. I'm like, oh, fuck, are they going to make me? Can't take my heroin. Does this prescription need to be in my name, sir? No. Okay, I'll just put it in my. I'll put it in my. My mint box.

[Chrissy]

Right?

[Brian]

Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm excited. I'm excited to go do the show.

[Chrissy]

Me too.

[Brian]

I know some people are coming. I don't know how many is some.

[Chrissy]

We're breaking out of our comfort zone.

[Brian]

I think we have to do it. I really do. I feel like we need to go out there and see the world. We've been in these four walls or those four walls. We've been in this. The collective four walls of this house for five years almost.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And we've never done a meet and greet. We've never said hello. To anybody via the phone maybe or by email. And a few people who have called and left us death threats on our voicemail, but actually been outside of these four walls with the show and I feel like it's time. And we were talking about this for two years and so I'm glad it came together. These may be our only two live shows, so you make sure you get down there if you have an opportunity. I mean, I got kids. I can't be on the road, you know, 200 days a year. But I don't know how that Smart list does it. You know, they could do it. Go do live shows too. I think they like. But Smart list can pretty much pick any venue they want to.

[Christina]

Exactly.

[Brian]

At any day. And people are going to, you know, part the sea to make sure that that happens. The commercial break we got Tuesday night at Dania B.

[Chrissy]

Yes, we did.

[Brian]

But I'm excited because we've talked to some folks, a lot of comedians in the know, and they say, Danya, improv is fantastic. The bone. How can you go wrong with the bone?

[Chrissy]

The bone.

[Brian]

I mean, chew on the bone, right?

[Chrissy]

We're going to go chew on the bone.

[Brian]

Yeah, that's what. That's what they're going to give us for payment at the end. Here's a bone from all the three course meals we didn't sell.

[Chrissy]

A chicken bonus dinner packages.

[Brian]

Yeah. Can I get some food? No, you can't sell some tickets, then you can get some food. So we'll be there. And tickets are still available, I'm sure of it down in the show notes. You can click on the link or you can go straight to the venue website, our website, Instagram, all that other stuff. Yeah, there's a couple people who have said they want to come and say hello. So I'll bring my bulletproof.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I mean, I think we know that at least five people are coming to each show.

[Brian]

I think more than five at Dania. I know, I know. We have at least. I don't know. I'm not going to say numbers, but I know we have probably a fair crowd going to Danube beach. And then Orlando's more of a crapshoot, which I would expect that there's just going to be a lot of people coming from Disney World, like a lot of adults who. Whose kids are asleep, who are out for the night or, you know, like Disney adults. And they have no idea. They have no idea what's coming for them. You go down there to go to get the Disney magic. Magic, and you show up at the commercial, TCB live, your mama in a. Jeff's gonna be there.

[Chrissy]

Jeff's gonna be there.

[Brian]

Christina's gonna be there doing the show with us. I'd like to think that Tina is coming. I think so. All of some of the show regulars are going to be down there. Some of the voices that you hear and some of the people that you've seen on the show are going to be down there. We're gonna make an event of it. Brian's got to be to bed by 9:15, so get there early. I'm old. I can't take it. I'm honestly, part of me is a little bit concerned because I put my bed. If I put my kids to bed so early, they're so small, I put them to bed so early. And after like a long day, I'm so winded. I don't go to bed like super duper early, but I'm usually in bed no later than 10:30, 11:00'.

[Chrissy]

Clock.

[Brian]

There's the rare occasion where I'm here editing till 12:30 or 1 in the morning, but that doesn't happen very much anymore. And so I'm a little concerned that like, halfway through the show I'm gonna need a nap. Like I'm gonna I on our rider. I asked for a cot. I swear to God I did. Oh my God. I said a cot and some melatonin.

[Chrissy]

You're gonna pick right back. It's like riding a bike. You're gonna pick right back up and you're not gonna have the kids. So.

[Brian]

No, that's right.

[Christina]

Right.

[Brian]

I'm gonna pick up right where I left off. Right. The last line that I snorted is gonna. I'm gonna go right back to the reactivated. I need a gin and ton. Patrons is the cocaine dealer to pick.

[Chrissy]

The person at the end of the bar.

[Brian]

Oh, it's a comedy club, you know. You know that. And I'm not going to say that anyway, you know, we. I'm sure, I'm sure that some of our listeners are going to come and they're going to come loaded, you know what I'm saying? They're going to come with their pockets full of shit. I mean, and listen, do what you're going to do. Just be safe about it and make sure to offer Chrissy and I some and then we'll be all good.

[Chrissy]

Yep.

[Brian]

You really want to see Chrissy and I go wacko. Give me some molly before the show. That's what I'm talking about.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God. We'd be up there rolling Around. I love you.

[Brian]

Yeah. You're so warm and fuzzy. Brian's just petting Chrissy. Chrissy's got a ring pop.

[Chrissy]

A ring pop.

[Brian]

Vicks Vapor. Rub finger dip, finger dip. Finger dip, finger dip. But you know what? Speaking of television shows, I was flipping through the channels the other day and I saw National Geographic has turned into basically, like, your busted channel, you know what I'm saying? But just do anything that has to do with people getting arrested for something and mainly with drugs. I mean, National Geographic is a great channel. They have some good shows. But I don't watch it much anymore because I feel like it makes me a little paranoid about what's going on in the world and my own activities and so. But I flipped on the other day and I saw Drugs, Inc. Have you ever seen that show?

[Chrissy]

That's a popular show.

[Brian]

Yeah. So Drugs, Inc. And it was about Molly, but not real Molly, synthetic Molly. These are the parts that I watch. Synthetic Molly. So here's the setup. We go live to the Postal, you know, warehouse.

[Chrissy]

Synthetic.

[Brian]

Yeah, but like, I'm talking about, like, the derivative Molly's. Okay. Yeah. Well, if you go back to my day, I think they were, like, pressing, like, heroin and meth together to make. Oh, God, you know, shitty Mitsubishi capsules.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So. So here's the scene. Ready? You go into this big Postal annex in Los Angeles, and they're bringing. They're going through packages, and they suspect something through the X ray machine. And then they rip open the package. You know, of course, it's got no return sender. They don't declare anything. It's got some random PO Box somewhere in Southern California. And so the guy says, I suspect this is a package of drugs. If I look at the X ray, blah, blah, blah. So he opens it up, and it's like three really big bags, like, bags of, like, shards of some weird brown, like, powder, I guess, right? But it's, like, compacted, so it's like a brick almost. And so he takes it out and he tests it, and it doesn't come up. Doesn't test for anything that he can seize the package for. And they got like, 30,000 different things they can seize the package for. Doesn't come up with one of those. And he goes, this is a certain type of chemical that's being made in China that's supposed to, I guess, recreate the effect of Molly. But no one really knows what it does to your body. It's just like. They just keep changing one molecule, evading the law. It doesn't Come up on any of our, you know, illegal substances tests, and then it gets sent out in the world. He goes, I know this is going to harm somebody. I know it. I know somebody's going to have a bad night or worse, or many people will, but there's nothing I can do about it. I literally have to repack it and send it out the door to where it was going with no additional follow up. And I was like, wow, okay, so Drugs Inc. Then follows that package to the house where there's two, like white skater kids right, in their 20s that are like, yeah, we used to, you know, I used to buy Molly for 15 a gram and sell it for 20 a gram, whatever he was saying. Now I buy it for 50 cents and sell it for 25 a gram. I'm making a killing. And I'm like, oh, my God. Literally just manufacturing shitty chemicals in China and selling them to people on the street as Molly. The game is not like it used to be.

[Chrissy]

I can't believe they were on camera saying that.

[Brian]

Well, I mean, they have a mask over their face.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

But I mean, anybody who's ever met these two ding dongs is gonna understand who they are. It's got like a distinctive voice, the hair. He's got like tattoo on his head. I mean, it's not really that hard to figure it out. But I just thought to myself, the game has fucking changed. I remember going down to Techwood. Techwood in Atlanta is a storied neighborhood. It is where Georgia Tech currently sits. It was near the campus of Georgia Georgia Tech. And it was bad, bad scene. And a guy like me should never have been down in Techwood, but I somehow ended up there literally with my other white friend in the middle of a street. Ask, asking somebody for weed. And they gave us weed, or what we thought was weed. I think it was oregano, actually. And they sold it to us for like 100 bucks. And they gave us a baggie that was like a, like a, you know, a dime bag, right? It's like 100 bucks. And I was like, done, you know, and it was shitty weed. But I never once suspected that I was going to get like some weird manufactured synthetic with fentanyl in it that's going to kill me. Never once did I suspect that. And that's why it's so crazy to me that like, and I know that this is like a really a mythology that cocaine is being cut with fentanyl because no dealer in their right mind is going to say, here's the best cocaine in the world that makes you fall asleep for seven hours. You know what I'm saying? Like, if they want to return customer, they're not going to cut it with fentanyl. Doesn't make any sense. Has it happened? I'm sure it has, but have people done something that looks like cocaine and it actually was fentanyl? Yeah, I'm sure that's happened a bunch. And I don't want to demean that, but I don't think that dealers are actually cutting cocaine with fentanyl. It goes against business. Common sense.

[Christina]

Sense.

[Brian]

But, man, like, on the off chance, somebody at a party, just, like, there's.

[Chrissy]

So many things to be aware of now. Yeah.

[Brian]

Finger dips, finger dead. Yeah. Fingertip finger dead.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

I mean, it just.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

I don't know. It's scary as. I know I sound like an old man saying this, but the game is different. You got to look out.

[Chrissy]

It is.

[Brian]

You know what I saw, too? And, like, Piggy fronting off this. You know what I saw? I saw that at one of these festivals, like the Wookiee Pookie Fest or whatever, you know, out in the woods with 75 bands that you've never heard of, and it's pay a thousand dollars and get your camp spot and all that other stuff. They denied the people who come in and test your drugs for free. The people who come in and they bring these packages, thousands of them, and.

[Chrissy]

They will test your drugs, which I think is fantastic.

[Brian]

It's the best service in the fucking world. And actually, every drugstore should carry this. I think some do like independent pharmacies, but they. This should be free to anybody that asks. You have to go up to a pharmacist. You don't have to give a name. You just have to show an ID that you're over the age of 18 years old, and they should give you that, or, I don't know, over the age of 14 years old. I don't know. And they should give you that fucking test right there. But festivals have been denying them.

[Chrissy]

Why?

[Brian]

Access because they think it encourages people to bring drugs in the door, which is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. They're gonna bring the drugs in the door regardless if you're right. But if you don't want people dead at your doorstep, then let them test the drugs. Who fucking cares? They're gonna do the drugs anyway. Has anybody ever been to a festival? I mean, it's like. It's just a field full of people fucked up on drugs that's all it is. And so if you're not going to arrest everybody in the festival, then at least allow them to do this safely. They have an idea of what they're getting. Because I've seen videos of these same people doing these tests out in the field where somebody brings up a bag of, I don't know, let's say, you know, I got some molly from my friend, right? And I want to test it. They take a minuscule amount. They put that little substance solution in it. They, you know, shake it it. And it turns out to be fentanyl. And it's like, whoa, you know, if you're gonna do this, you should be extra careful. Or you should throw it away. This is not what you think it is. Or here I got some crystal meth from my friend, and it turns out to be some derivative substance from some far flung country that no one knows what it is. And they're like, hey, you should be really careful. They can educate someone right there. Like, be careful. Or if they've done taken something accidentally, they didn't know what it was, they can tell that it can give them proper medical guidance. Like, this is.

[Chrissy]

I agree.

[Brian]

This is the way of the world in 2024. And it's a dumb, dumb, dumb that these festivals kick these people out because, you know, they're afraid of some kind of liability. It's like that. Yeah, the festivals are tough to run. I. I gotta give it to Jeff. I gotta give it to Jeff.

[Chrissy]

They are. There's a lot of moving pieces.

[Brian]

I'll tell Jeff if he needs a drug tester at his festival, I will come there and I will test.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

A little for me, a little for you. Menfo for fast.

[Chrissy]

I will let him know.

[Brian]

Tickets still [e-mail], by the way. I'm sure Jeff loves that endorsement right there. Tickets still available. Get your tickets, kids. What a lineup, by the way. I know we talked about this last week, but what a lineup. Yeah, tell the kids what the lineup is.

[Chrissy]

Well, we got Cody Jenkins.

[Brian]

Cody Jenkins. How can you go wrong?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, he's a little bit more country. That's on Friday night.

[Brian]

I'm a little bit more rock and roll. That's okay.

[Chrissy]

And then you get the Trey Anastasio. Yep. Band Goose on Saturday night. And then there's also. I mean, these are just the headliners. There's tons more stuff. The Roots are gonna be there. The Digable Planets. Digable Planets, Yeah. That's gonna be fun.

[Brian]

Go get em, Jeff.

[Chrissy]

And Sunday's Jack White and Then Jack White.

[Brian]

I've seen Jack White and the Kills. Yeah, I've seen Jack White. I've actually seen Digable Plan. I mean, unbelievable. Great. Mempho fest.com if you're going to be in the Memphis area, if you're going to be within 100 miles of Memphis on October, what is it, 11th, 12th?

[Chrissy]

No, it's like the fourth, fifth, sixth.

[Brian]

Oh, fourth, fifth, and sixth that weekend. Jam down. Oh, yeah. It is the fourth, fifth, and sixth. That's right. Because we were just talking about our calendars. It's the 4th, 5th, and 6th. Mempho Fest. MemphoFest.com get your tickets and. But after you get your tickets.

[Chrissy]

Yes. Come see us first live.

[Brian]

I've got an interesting story to talk to you about. Let's take a break. We'll be right back.

[Christina (liner voice)]

You already know who it is, Christina, here to keep you actually informed. Unlike some people we know, Brian, I've got certified, verified, factual information about our Florida shows. So listen up. We are coming to Danya beach improv on Tuesday, September 24 and 20. The Funny Bone in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25. And links to those tickets are in the show notes, so go get them. In other completely new and interesting news, you should follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. And of course, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content. And finally, if you want to tell Brian and Chrissy that I am a pretty, pretty princess or that you hate me, text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

[Christina]

Bye.

[Brian]

I will say this after the liners play. Christine is really great at her job. Everybody out there just wants you to know she's really great at her job. Does she get a little snarky during the con, during the liners? Yes, she does. With all the permission in the world to do so, I might add, for the haters out there and listen, I don't hate you. Just keep listening to the show. But Christina is a part of the TCB team and she has permission to do what she likes on the liners because do you really want to listen to Brian talk for yet another minute and a half every episode? That was the point in having her do this.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So let her have a little fun with it. She is hating me on the slide. She's hating me in a way that doesn't get her fired. She couldn't say this to me in an email, but she says it to me on the liners. Okay.

[Chrissy]

I love them.

[Brian]

Okay. Them too. All right, so it's that time of year again. There's going to be that time of year again. Cocktober is coming right up. I must give credit where all credit is due. That is something that I heard on the Howard Stern show years ago. I don't know if they still do it, but they used to do cocktober, and for the whole month, it was all about Cox, you know, But I'm going to steal the term and say cocktober is here. And cocktober. We should remind people. 21 ePms. Chrissy. 21 ejaculations per.

[Chrissy]

It all began in October.

[Brian]

Yes. I'm debating about whether or not to put another sticker in circulation, the 21 EPM sticker, because they were so popular last time. So if you want a 21 EPM sticker, text me on the hotline. I've been talking to Astrid about it. We might redo one just, like, in a different color so you know which ones are first.

[Chrissy]

Great sticker.

[Brian]

It is a great sticker.

[Chrissy]

Best to you.

[Brian]

Yeah. 21 ep 21 ejaculations per month. 21 ejaculations per month can reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer in this lifetime by some estimates, 25%. So get your rocks off, guys, and make sure you jizz all over the house. Hopefully in some kind of container or wash basin, you know, in the shower, down the toilet, whatever it is you do, whatever your preferred methodology is in the paper towel. I don't know what.

[Chrissy]

Just get it done.

[Brian]

I don't know what you creeps are doing out there, but just get it done. Have a little help. Do it by yourself. Whatever it is you want to get. Volkswagen, like Pocket, you can do that, too. Have sex with a small car. I don't care.

[Chrissy]

We've done a show about that before.

[Brian]

We did do a show about that before, so 21 EPMs. Just reminding all of the guys. And I'll say this to you, I know I'm not that old, and I know guys who are of similar age who have already been diagnosed with prostate cancer. It is ultra important that you get regular screenings and that the second that you see anything amiss, you follow up on it. Remember, it's your responsibility to take care of your health. Don't assume your doctor knows everything about everything about everything or is doing the right thing always, because they're very busy people. Have you ever heard of, like, pharmaceutical Commercial. You got to ask those doctors about everything. Ask your doctor if you have one eyeball falling out. Ask your doctor if green snots coming out of your teeth. Ask your doctor if alien shoots out your neck.

[Chrissy]

Speaking of eyeballs, I've just gone into. I'm dipping my toe in the water of the contact world. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. I went to the doctor because my eye doctor. Regular eye exams are important.

[Brian]

Chrissy keeps on getting 21 EPMs all over her glasses, so they're hard to clean off.

[Chrissy]

Exactly. I got some in my eye.

[Brian]

Do you have them in right now? Yeah. You do? Oh, okay. Are you taking them out at night?

[Christina (liner voice)]

I am.

[Brian]

Okay, good.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. They're dailies.

[Brian]

Okay.

[Chrissy]

But it's just funny that, you know, in this stage, most of the people that I knew that went into contacts got them at a young age.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

You know, but now I'm getting a little bit older. I've never worn glasses or contacts all my life. And I needed a little help reading sometimes, and so I thought, well, I'll go get glasses. I did that last year. It turns out the glasses I had were for distance and not for reading. And so I thought I really had something wrong with my eyes. I was like, this just keeps getting worse. So I went. Got another. Went to another doctor, got a new prescription, and now I'm dipping into the contact world, and I like it.

[Brian]

You do?

[Chrissy]

Yeah. It's been tough to figure out the whole taking out and putting in. I'm still practicing, but I'm getting much better.

[Brian]

I. I think you look lovely with glasses. I think you look lovely without glasses. Of course, I know you most of your life without glasses. So this.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I've got the glasses, too.

[Brian]

Okay, good.

[Chrissy]

So when I don't want to wear those, the contacts, I'll put the glasses on. I'm great with glasses.

[Brian]

What do you do with the daily contacts once they're done, you just throw them in the trash? Yeah, that's what you do. Are they little pieces of plastic or like rubber or something like that?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, they're like, little soft.

[Brian]

I mean, I've seen. My brother wears contacts, so I've seen them. He's. He's been wearing them for a long time. Yeah, they tried to put them in my eye once. I see the thing is, is I wear, like. I'm so blind that I wear these, like, super progressive glasses. And I understand that. I think you can get contacts that are like that.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian]

But I think they are very expensive, and they're not the daily kind. Like I can't get dailies.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And I remember trying to put a contact in at an eye doctor one time.

[Chrissy]

It's frustrating.

[Brian]

It was very not. I was.

[Chrissy]

But after five, this is my fifth day. And after five days, I'm really getting it down.

[Brian]

Good for you. Congratulations to Chrissy and her contact. Check your prostate for cancer.

[Chrissy]

Get all your. Get all your tests.

[Brian]

Get all your tests done.

[Christina (liner voice)]

Yeah.

[Brian]

So along those lines, I read a story about three weeks ago and I thought it would be a good time to bring it up when we started talking about 21 EPMs again. There is a guy. I mean, there's probably multiple people who have this condition. I know that there's some women that have this condition too. There is a guy who suffers from multiple random orgasms every day, sometimes every hour. And he's been like this for a long time. You want to hear about him? Okay, let's.

[Chrissy]

Sure.

[Brian]

Yeah. Let's take a listen. Because we have to. It's just like, I think it's TCB policy that we take a listen to this. Of course you're not going to want to work for me, you silly goose. Oh, God.

[Christina]

Father of two, Dale Decker Sutton suffers from a rare and seemingly incurable condition that leads to him suffering up to 100 unwanted orgasms a day.

[Chrissy]

Oh, 100.

[Brian]

100. Holy shit.

[Chrissy]

One or two would be surprising enough, but 100?

[Brian]

Yeah. You know, I think Astrid's like, if I suffer 100 orgasms in my entire marriage to Brian, I'll be happy. So what you're looking at is Dale is on a golf course or a Frisbee. Golf course, I think is probably more accurate. And he is literally down on his knees, head on the ground, pounding the ground, suffering a random. I'm sorry, I know this, this is probably not funny to Dale Decker, by the way, what a great name for this condition. But I do have to say it is. It is a little bit silly.

[Dale Decker]

I think there's nothing pleasurable about it. Because even though it might physically feel good, the whole time inside your mind, you're completely disgusted by what's going on. And depending on where you're at, if you're in public, if you're in front of kids, if you're around strangers.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, that would pose problems, I think.

[Brian]

Yes, I'd like a pumpkin cream lot. Do you have a napkin I can use? Thank you very much.

[Dale Decker]

It can make a person break real fast.

[Christina]

The 37 year old is the first man to ever speak publicly about the condition known as persistent Sexual arousal syndrome, or psas, and he says it's ruining his life.

[Brian]

I feel bad for anybody who's got possess. I mean, I pass. Ass has got to be the worst disease ever. And think about this. Think about this from Dale's standpoint. He's so right.

[Christina]

Right.

[Brian]

If you really do suffer from random orgasms around children, around strangers, at a dinner party, at Christmas holiday functions, I.

[Chrissy]

Mean, I don't know how you. Yeah, I don't know how you live with that. I mean, that's like four times an hour.

[Brian]

That's a lot.

[Chrissy]

Including times that you're sleeping. I'm very curious.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Dale Decker]

When you're on your knees at your father's funeral, at his casket, and you're saying goodbye to him, and then you have nine orgasms right there.

[Chrissy]

Nine. Oh, my God. I'm thinking of Irving's funeral now.

[Brian]

Going to hell. Irving's funeral. Oh, my God. Just the way he described it. When you're down at your dad's funeral, on your knees, nine orgasms later.

[Chrissy]

God damn.

[Brian]

Dale. Dale. I'm really feeling for you, bro.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Dale Decker]

Whole family is standing behind you. Just makes you never want to have another orgasm as long as you live. But you know what? You just keep on coming.

[Brian]

You just keep on coming is what he said.

[Christina (liner voice)]

Yeah.

[Brian]

This has got to be. Someone's trolling somebody. Someone is trolling somebody. I think Dale is not real, actually. I saw this, and this video looks dated to me. It looks like it's like early 2000s, doesn't it? Yeah. Like what? Dale's wearing his haircut, but just what he said down at your father's casket. And you had nine orgasms. And when you think life's got you down, you just keep coming. I mean, this is like a perfect troll. Don't you think this might be a little suspicious? This is why I bring this video to attention. It's not because I want to make fun of Dale. I'm a little suspicious of Dale's intentions with the Daily or the Mail online here. Who is the news broadcasting agency who decided to cover the. This.

[Christina]

Dale, from Wisconsin in America, was enjoying his suburban life in 2012 when he slipped a disc in his back while getting out of a chair, triggering the condition. For unknown reasons, they put me in.

[Dale Decker]

The back of the ambulance to take me to the hospital. And on the way there, I had my first five orgasms. And they've never stopped.

[Chrissy]

Wow. So it's slipped.

[Brian]

Wow. Geez. I gotta be careful.

[Chrissy]

You gotta be careful. I was just looking at you.

[Brian]

I gotta Be careful around.

[Chrissy]

He's got some back issues.

[Brian]

Maybe I should un volunteer for the kids school functions.

[Christina]

Look, since the accident and is mostly housebound through fear of experiencing an episode in public. But he enjoys playing Frisbee golf with his closest friends.

[Brian]

Good throw, Dale.

[Chrissy]

Well, I was going to say, is that the best move for a slip disc back?

[Brian]

No, he doesn't seem like he has a slip disc, but maybe the slip disc has been fixed. But his persistent orgasm. Oh God.

[Chrissy]

See, he.

[Dale Decker]

He slipped.

[Chrissy]

It was the disc.

[Brian]

It was the disc that.

[Chrissy]

The double disc. He's throwing a disc.

[Brian]

He's got a double D. He got.

[Chrissy]

A triple D. And then his back disc too.

[Brian]

Anytime he goes hard on that back, he goes hard on that. On.

[Dale Decker]

Times in any situation, they happen when I'm awake, they happen when I'm asleep, they happen in the shower.

[Chrissy]

Well, that seems like the appropriate place to have them. Maybe.

[Christina (liner voice)]

Rather.

[Brian]

Yeah. And I am. Yeah, when you're in the shower. I mean, Gez, who doesn't have persistent arousal syndrome in the shower? Just the sight of my naked body in the full length mirror. I mean, I go, wow, you're. That's a pretty penis right there, Brian. Pretty, pretty penis. I gotta ask you a question though. It. I think it's probably physically. You're physically unable to have five actual orgasms to ejaculation. Right? So it's not ejaculating orgasms. I'm assuming these are dry orgasms. Yeah, that he's extra sensitive in his ting tang and that's making his pretty, pretty penis react in certain situations. Why doesn't he just. Just, I don't know, tape it to his stomach or something?

[Chrissy]

It seems like something could be done.

[Brian]

Something could be done.

[Dale Decker]

Full orgasmic sensations flow through my entire body.

[Chrissy]

I wonder if he has to wear like. Depends if it's not. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Brian]

But I don't think it's physically possible to do that. Like, I mean, we all know how it goes, right? Guy gets in bed with you, he woos you, he seduces you. Five to six seconds of foreplay, he puts it in you. Three and a half minutes later, he's done. Wait a couple of hours. Talk to you later. Like you know what I'm saying? It takes a while to get revved back up. That's just how guys are.

[Dale Decker]

It feels like every muscle from here to about here is doing this.

[Christina]

While the condition is so rare, most doctors can't even diagnose it. It is widely acknowledged by specialists in the field.

[Chrissy]

Psas is a Condition of unrelenting genital arousal and spasms, which is not necessarily sexual. And they have no idea when this is going to happen or how often and can lead to intense suffering.

[Brian]

Now I have heard of women that have this condition and it's like life altering. And so I can only assume it must be the same for Dale. But women are diagnosed much more frequently than men are. Like the host said or the announcer, the newscaster said, he is the first man to ever be publicly diagnosed.

[Chrissy]

Talk about it.

[Brian]

To talk about it.

[Christina]

Suffering is felt in Dale's home life.

[Chrissy]

He's doing a PSA for the PSA.

[Brian]

He's doing the PSAs for the P for the EPMS. He's doing the PSA for the possess. I've got ha. Have you heard about possess? I'm Dale Decker, professional frisbee. Professional Frisbee golf player.

[Christina]

Struggles to cope with the situation.

[Brian]

We tend to have arguments about stuff that really shouldn't be argued about. Well, welcome to marriage, kid. I mean, that has nothing to do with his possessed.

[Chrissy]

Why was that talked about?

[Brian]

We already struggle. Right now he can't work and help supplies. So I feel struggling. Stress from that.

[Christina]

And PSAs is even affecting Dale's relationship with his children, Christian and Tatum.

[Brian]

They don't have a relationship. He doesn't go to like practices because he feels embarrassed. And kids don't know about his condition. So the kids don't quite understand why Dale won't be there.

[Christina]

The threat. Threat of a spontaneous orgasm isn't the only thing that leaves Dale afraid to leave home.

[Brian]

Isn't there? Like it sounds like he needs a good like therapist or like yoginanda. You know what I'm saying?

[Christina (liner voice)]

Yeah.

[Brian]

To teach him how to transmute that energy into the life force, out into the universe. Yes. He needs some Kundalini or he needs a good therapist to tell him how to appropriately. Like in public situations.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian]

How to handle it. Like take a few deep breaths and get through it. Listen, when I have an orgasm, I'm a monkey. Like I literally bounce off the walls. You might. If you're within 30 yards of me, you're gonna probably hear me. But I also know how to control myself to a degree where I probably could be quiet if I wanted to. Right. Or could be. I don't know if I could be necessarily still. But can't Dale like make some effort to. You know, it's a damn shame that you don't go to your kids practices because of this. Sounds like he needs like, you know how they have those garment Things where you can get dressed, like those portable garment things that make kind of like a square. Where you can get dressed, like, backstage at a fashion show or something like that. Okay, it sounds like Dale just needs one of those. He carries around with him. And then he can step inside, have his orgasm, and step back outside and costume change. And then just be the guy who does a lot of costume changes. Practice. That's right.

[Dale Decker]

Sometimes I have an erection for 3, 4 hours at a time.

[Brian]

Oh, no, that's. That's insane, Dale. You're insane. That's insane. That's a. That's a physical emergency.

[Dale Decker]

Yeah, propriety, they just come and go, like 30, 40 a day. It's really hard to deal with. It is possible to have sex with my wife. We don't very often because it becomes frustrating. Because for me, there's no end.

[Christina]

Desperate for help, Dale has turned to therapist Diane London.

[Brian]

Oh, good.

[Christina]

To see if she can shed light on.

[Chrissy]

There we go.

[Brian]

Yeah. Oh, I notice he's wearing very long shirts. You see that? And cover up his manhood. Yeah.

[Dale Decker]

Destroying.

[Brian]

What is he, 3.

[Dale Decker]

Part of everything in my life when.

[Brian]

It comes to sexual issues.

[Chrissy]

People get very. Oh, go ahead. Bathroom break. He was at the therapist, and it happened.

[Brian]

Oh, man.

[Christina]

This is.

[Brian]

This is funny. I'm sorry. Dale, if you're out there and you're listening, buddy, I really do for you at the end of the day, I really do. I think some of your answers to some of the questions are a little suspect. But if this is true and this is really happening to you, this is terrible. And the therapist is probably going to give you some good advice here. Let's see if you can make it through an entire session without choosing on the couch.

[Chrissy]

I've never seen anything like that before. There are no words.

[Brian]

I've never been with a man before. It's hard to know if it's real. This makes me want to find him some relief.

[Chrissy]

Otherwise, this is a horrible way for.

[Brian]

Him to have to live.

[Christina]

But even in the face of such desperate odds, there is hope for Dale's future.

[Chrissy]

Very brave of Dale to come out and publicly talk about it. He's suffering, but there is help for him. There are doctors that can help him. So I hope that he's getting some help. I think the main problem is that probably nobody.

[Brian]

There are doctors that can help him. Not me, but somebody else altogether. You think she'd offer some help? Like, let me talk to Dale. I'll get him straightened out. Nope, not me.

[Chrissy]

That it's a medical condition. They Think it's in his head and it's not. He's got a real medical problem.

[Dale Decker]

I just try to take one day at a time. Hopefully someday. Someday, buddy will come up with something, because I would like to get back to my normal life one day.

[Chrissy]

Urologists would be a place to start, right?

[Brian]

Yeah. I think there's a urologist that can, like, cut the nerve or something.

[Chrissy]

Like, talk to the people that are doing vasectomies, and. Yes, they seem like a specialist.

[Brian]

Yes, like a vasectomy. Well, I mean, vasectomy is in the ball area, but like a urologist, someone that specializes in the handling of penises.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian]

Right. I also do specialize in the handling of penises, mainly my own. But, Dale, if you need some help, reach out and let us know. I know Chrissy's currently occupied with Jeff, but, you know, we've got some other people on staff here that I don't know.

[Chrissy]

Somebody's got to be able to help.

[Brian]

Somebody's got to be able to help, Dale. I would think a good jizz would then calm him down for a couple of hours. Maybe he just has to do 21 EPMs a day. And I know that sounds like a lot, Chrissy, but, you know, we're guys. We have. We have a lot to give. You know what I'm saying? It's an endless supply.

[Chrissy]

Right?

[Brian]

You know, this may not be. I'm not. I don't want to, like, give life advice here, Dale, but maybe this lady you're married to is not the right wife. Maybe you need, like, a nymphomaniac wife, and then the two of you can help each other just, like, solve the problem. You know what I'm saying? There's someone out there for you, Dale, and you got to figure it out. When life gets down, just keep coming, just like you said. I'm going to remember those words for the rest of my life. All right, we'll take a break, and we'll be back.

[Christina (liner voice)]

Oh, my God. Christina, you're an icon and a legend. That's my impression of you when I tell you that you can officially actually get tickets to come see us in Florida. We'll be at Daniel Beach Improv on September 24th and the Funny Bone Orlando on September 25th. And both of those links are already in the show notes. So come see us and giggle your way into our little hearts. If you can't make it to Florida to win our love, don't worry. We're easy. All it takes is to follow us on Instagram at The commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. Or you can text access at 212-433-33- TCUV and check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio, video, content and any sneaky links we might share.

[Brian]

All right, well, we're back here just to review Dale Decker's 100 epms per day. Wow, Chrissy, I don't know what to say. I'm flabbergast at a medical mystery that has baffled all of us. Befuddled, Even the most, most expert of experts. Like that lady who offered to give no help today.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, she was an actual, actual gynecologist.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

I don't know why they were talking to a gynecologist. I don't know.

[Brian]

Well, probably because only women are. Are mostly women are diagnosed with this.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian]

But I have seen other specials on women who have this particular cause and it's.

[Chrissy]

Wasn't there one on itv?

[Brian]

There was one on itv. We had one time with the lady. The lady who has an orgasm every 15 minutes or something like that.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian]

She managed to make it through the whole interview without Norgasm. But I don't think Dale. Doesn't seem like Dale makes it two minutes without Norgasm. That's. That's just insane.

[Chrissy]

I feel like there could be something related to the porn industry that could maybe make him money, right?

[Brian]

Where he could be proud of himself, he could make a little cash for the family. I mean, chatterbait was made for this kind of stuff, you know what I'm saying? Only fans. Listen, Dale either on only fans and on Chatterbait, you only the guys. This mainly pertains to the guys. You only have to go like chest down, you know what I'm saying? There's a lot of people out there make a great living doing chatterbait. And only fans. And only do chest down. That's it. That's all you have to do. You don't have to tell anybody who you are, but this could turn into your fucking superhero. Like Dirk Diggler. Remember Dirk Diggler with the ten foot penis or whatever it was. That guy made a living. He saw himself, himself in the mirror one day and said, I'm going to use this for good. And then he robbed a coke dealer, ended up getting shot.

[Chrissy]

Things took a turn.

[Brian]

Things took a turn for Dirk Diggler. But now you don't have to end up that way. Dale. Dale Decker, Dirk Diggler.

[Chrissy]

I know, very similar.

[Brian]

Yeah, the double Ds, they're all there. I love it. Well, I don't think it would be appropriate to. You know, we do TCB infomercial Tuesdays. We don't air episodes on Mondays and no, don't even ask. So Wednesday is really our first chance to get to talk to you about any of the events that happened over the weekend. And I think it would be probably not cool of us if we went the entire episode without mentioning just a crazy series of events that went on over the weekend as down in Florida, I think near West Palm Beach. Chrissy. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were sighted together.

[Chrissy]

Canoodling.

[Brian]

Canoodling. What in the good golly Miss Molly is going on in that relationship? I love those two. I'm starting to, I'm starting to root for them actually. They're just like so many relationships I've been in. Breakup makeup. You have the house, I'll take the house. Kick me out of my own house. I mean, they're just like the rest of us. They really are. They, they found love and they can't get rid of it. It's probably a bad, it's probably a toxic relationship at some level, but they just can't get rid of each other. And I just, I just find it fascinating. I could give a shit less about Jennifer Lopez or Ben Affleck unless they're making a movie that I'm interested in, honestly. And I saw them and I was like, this is crazy. They're back together now.

[Chrissy]

I read it too.

[Brian]

Didn't they just get divorced or talk about getting divorced or filed.

[Chrissy]

She filed.

[Brian]

Oh, she.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian]

Oh, Ben's back.

[Chrissy]

And then that was a stimulation.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Come back.

[Brian]

I got Ben to come back. He said, well, the paparazzi isn't that bad. I mean, for a guy who hates the paparazzi so much, he sure is doing everything he can to get back in those cameras eyes, isn't he?

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian]

He's always smoking those cigarettes, some pants down around his knees. I love him. I love Ben Duncan.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Brian]

Dunkin Donuts, coffee. He's just a guy's guy. I mean he, he's like so many of us that I know, including myself. And JLO is just a pretty, pretty princess. And you know, she loves a guy. She looks just like a regular dude. Yes. Ben Affleck is richer than. And he's made a bunch of movies. He's a great actor and we all seen him and loved him in many different roles. I can't think of one right now. But listen, listen, that's besides the point. He was in that one Batman that some people liked. Listen, Ben Affleck is just, at the end of the day, a normal dude. I think. I don't think he's got a lot of pretense about him. I saw him one time. I think it was Howard Stern. He did like a hour long interview with Howard Stern. And he was sitting. It was like during the pandemic, and he was sitting in his whatever, office and he's smoking cigarettes and he's telling. He was just talking to Howard like any other dude that I know. Yeah, yeah, I up. Yeah. If I have a drink, I get all up and, you know, booze took me down. And boot, he had just chained, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee. I mean, the guy looked like he just came out of an AA meeting. And I think that there was something really human about the way that he did, at least. I remember watching that interview and thinking, wow, he's just really. Just a human. Like, you know, there's no pretense about the guy. And. And Jlo just fell in love with the normal dude. And what can you do when you got a normal dude like Dale Decker or Ben Affleck? The whole. It is what it is. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change. Yes. You can't tempt faith. So I'm rooting for Ben. That's what I got to say.

[Chrissy]

I have been the whole time just like, I'm reading for Travis and Taylor.

[Brian]

Yeah, me too. I'm rooting for Travis and Taylor. But, man, there's got to be a lot of pressure on that relationship. There really is a lot of pressure on that relationship. I mean, I saw they tried to go out for pizza and it was a whole mob scene.

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian]

That's the one part about fame. Thank God we'll never be in this situation. I think we'll be lucky if we sell 10 tickets to the Bone, but. And three of them will be drunk. And some of you know, people that just came from drinking around the world at Epcot. But, you know, that's the one thing I don't think I could deal with about fame is I. I would need to decompress. I would need to be away. Like, I. I don't think I could handle the constant following and picture taking. I don't like pictures being taken of me, even when it's my wife take. Even. It was like a photographer for our family photograph, I don't like. And so I wouldn't like all of that attention. You have to be a special kind of Human being, I think, and have a special kind of constitution to deal with that. And I'm still not sure, even though Taylor's done it seemingly beautifully for, you know, decades now, I'm still not sure that at some point, this just doesn't crack. Like, how do you. I mean, we all thought the same thing about Brittany, and look what happened to Brit, Brett. I mean, she's still suffering from her breakdown. Right. And there may be a lot.

[Chrissy]

It's the other fame and the. Everybody looking at you, all of the judging you, making comments, saying things. Yeah, it's. And then you've got the crazy. The really crazy. Them.

[Christina]

Sure.

[Chrissy]

Stalkers and that kind of thing. It's.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And then you have Donald fucking Trump saying, I hate Taylor Swift. I mean, leave it alone, Donald. What are you doing? Do you not understand what kind of mega superstar this human being is? She's got, what, 380 million followers on Instagram? Some of them have never voted. Some of them did not intend to vote. And you're, like, just stoking the fire in the opposite direction. I just don't understand strategically why that made sense to say that. And Taylor is a human being. She's got the right to say whatever she wants to say. And, you know, good for her for saying, you know, this is what I believe in and this is what I'm going to do. And, you know, I mean, people get all upset about celebrities and, you know, getting into politics and saying their thing. The truth is, is I really don't think. Think that celebrity endorsements move the needle not one inch, with the notable exception of Taylor Swift in 2020 and 2024. Doesn't move the needle, but I think it moves the needle one inch. I don't think it moves the needle, like, 10 miles. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And they can't be humans also, like, they can't give their opinion also. I don't have to listen to it. It's. You know, I'm not going to listen to Tom Cruise if he tells me to. To go vote for Zeta Thigh or whatever. Scientology.

[Chrissy]

Don't say it. Don't mention it.

[Brian]

Don't say it. I know the whole studio go crashing, but do you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not gonna. Just because a celebrity says something doesn't mean I. I'm gonna do that. You'd have to be a real sycophant to do that. But the difference is, is that I think Taylor does have the kind of cachet with a lot of her fans that could make the difference that they go and they register and then they go to vote, vote for her, for Harris, which is who she endorsed. And I just don't understand strategically why President, former President Trump had to say I hate Taylor Swift. It seems like a very strong statement to make for no good whatsoever. I mean, for no reason.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, but are you really surprised?

[Brian]

No. Nothing surprises me anymore about, about politics. Nothing surprises me. Any guidelines, boundaries, moralities, any like, semblance of couth anybody ever had in politics has long since gone out the window and Donald had used. Has used his head and his mouth to smash through those things. Some people say for the good, some, A lot of people say for the bad. You know, I personally would like my politicians just a little more buttoned up. You can be a. Just don't do it on camera, you know what I'm saying? I know that politics is corrupt. I understand it. I don't trust anyone, anybody who's in politics. It's all about ego and power. But, you know, you could put on a better face, I think, for the people that you're representing. That's my personal opinion, but we all know how I feel about dt. DT like we're buddies, me and Donald, and I do have to say that, like, it's just terrible that we now have to deal with such political vi. So much political violence in our society now. Political violence has been a part of our story since day one. Nothing new under the sun, but you'd think we'd evolved a little bit. But I guess not because, you know, people are still getting shot at. And that's a goddamn shame. And I don't care. I may not like the guy, but I don't want to see him dead. I don't want to see him shot. That's not what I want. I don't want that. I would never want that. That's. That's ridiculous. He's got a family, he's got children, he's got, you know, he's got things to do and people that care for him and you know, it's just a shame team that. By the way, how do you get that close? I mean, like, what are you doing down at that golf course? I know like an electric fence or something.

[Chrissy]

Well, they said it is a problem because I guess that specific course runs up against like a Main Road I95. I guess they were really confused as to how he, how that guy knew that he would be playing or playing golf there.

[Brian]

I don't know. You know.

[Chrissy]

Well, at that time, he tweets, but.

[Brian]

I guess he does five seconds. Yeah, he tweets it, or somebody else who's playing with him tweets it. I mean, you know, it's 20, 24. Information moves so fast. Or maybe he was just staking it out for a long period of time and understood that, hey, it's a day off and he's going to be there, or maybe he's not going to be there. And goddamn the Secret Service, who has, like, you know, really had a tough time the last couple of months. They got it right this time.

[Chrissy]

They did. They caught him.

[Brian]

They saw somebody in the bushes, and they saw the barrel of a gun sticking out of the bushes. It's like. It's literally like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. He was sticking a barrel out of the bushes, and somebody saw it. It's crazy. It's insane. I don't wish ill upon anybody, and certainly not the former president, and that's fucking bullshit. But then, you know, also, don't say, I hate Taylor Swift. I mean, this guy. People are loony, Donald.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian]

People are looney. And he knows it. He knows that people are loony. I mean, and so does, you know, so does the other side. They all know that people are looney. And they're.

[Christina]

There.

[Brian]

There are people, I think, who are subject to small intonations and innovations and I. Insinuations. And I think that some people read between the lines even when there's nothing there. And so it gets them all riled up and hot and heavy and, oh, yeah, Boiled up and then, you know, give them a gun and, man, it's kind of shitty. I'm not running for president anytime soon, Chrissy. But if I do, I want you on my Secret Service. I want you standing right in front of me everywhere we go. I want you to take the bullet. I don't know, for some reason, I just feel like you'd survive a bullet, a bullet wound better than I would. So that's. That's what, you know, what we're gonna do. Blue. Blue. I'm just gonna wear blue as a bullet. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Like one of those baby.

[Christina (liner voice)]

Baby.

[Brian]

Baby characters. Yeah. Baby carriers. Speaking of blue, you know, I. I think. And I. This is a little bit sad. Sad. We've had a hell of a run with health issues here at the commercial break over the last year. We really have. It's just been left and right and left and right. I think blue has diabetes. Oh, I know. And apparently the Yorkies are, like, they're prone to get diabetes. We've Noticed that she's drinking in like a big dog bowl, a dog bowl for big dogs of water every single day. And she's peeing like 30 times a day. Swear to God.

[Christina]

She.

[Christina (liner voice)]

She is.

[Brian]

And I. And so we were reading as her was reading, and she said, I think she might have diabetes. This is like the number one sign that.

[Chrissy]

Diabetes.

[Brian]

Diabetes. Diabetes. I'm Wilford Brimley for diabetes. Do you have diabetes? Well, your hover round can help you get around the Grand Canyon with less diabetes. No more diabetes at the Grand Canyon. Put that diabetes away and head to the top of the Eiffel Tower with your hover around. Wilford Brimley. I think they're still running those Wilford Brim.

[Chrissy]

I think they are too.

[Brian]

Anyway, yeah, I think Blue has, well, diabetes.

[Chrissy]

Keep us posted.

[Brian]

I will keep you posted. And you know, I don't want. I don't want anything bad to befall Blue either.

[Chrissy]

No, she was extra, extra today.

[Brian]

Tame today. Yeah. Well, no, when you walked in, she was like. She went apeshit. Yeah, she. She's been extra all weekend long. I don't know. She's got a bee in her bonnet. Get an extra bee in your bonnet. Make a little birdhouse in your soul. Is that the song?

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian]

They might Be Giants. Is that it? Yeah. Might be giants. I don't know.

[Chrissy]

They might be giants.

[Brian]

They might be giants. Ah. I was listening to a little Sturgill Simpson over the weekend.

[Chrissy]

Good stuff.

[Brian]

I love him. He's great.

[Chrissy]

So good.

[Brian]

He's so good. He's so good. That's a religion. Listening to Chappelle Rome.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian]

So good.

[Chrissy]

How fun. Sounds like a fun dance party.

[Brian]

You know who. I went. I saw it on a commercial and I went back down the hall of Tribe Called Quest. The Greats. Yes. Tribe Called Quest. You know who's not Tribe Called Quest? Tcb. But we're gonna be down and for the price of two cups of coffee, you too can see Chrissy and Brian live. Dan. Danya Beach Improv. The Dania Improv at Danya Beach. Go to the Show Notes, click the link, you can get your tickets. You can also do that for the Funny Bone. That's next Tuesday at Dania beach on the 24th. On the 25th at the bone. We would love to see you. I think doors open at 7 and 1 and 8 at the other. It's, you know, a couple hours. We'll be with you. No opening act. We couldn't convince anybody to come, right?

[Chrissy]

We tried.

[Brian]

We tried, but There will be. There will be a sound check, so we'll get that out of the way. Chrissy and I were hoping we could kill 45 minutes with the sound check, but, nay, they're gonna make us do it beforehand. So anyway, we can't wait to see you down there. 212-4333. TCB 212433, 3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We take them all text message or voicemail. Let us know if you're gonna be at the shows. We'll bring you something. We're bringing ringing things. Yes, we are going to be down there and you let us know. We'll add one more. My signature. My signature on a check that's no good. TCP check from a former bank account that's now closed. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of our guest interviews. Select collected episodes and clips. All right, Chrissy? Oh, TCPodcast.com all right, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy]

I love you.

[Brian]

I'll say best to you, best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say good goodbye. If you got a softie in your brain, you're gonna have a softie in your hands, you know what I'm saying?