Podcast Summary: "That's A Ride Or Die"

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: June 5, 2024

Episode Overview

In this chaotic and hilariously unfiltered episode, longtime friends and hosts Bryan and Krissy live up to their show’s “Cheesecake Factory of Comedy” reputation, riffing on everything from rapidly aging celebrities to bizarre food trends, odd listener feedback, and questionable antique store behavior. As usual, the conversation wanders freely, drawing on personal anecdotes, recent news, and pop culture oddities, with healthy doses of dark humor and affectionate banter. If you’re looking for wild digressions, sardonic asides, and laughs about the mundane and the bizarre, this episode delivers.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Wilford Brimley Rabbit Hole

Timestamps: 00:55–10:26

• Wilford Brimley’s Perpetual Old-Age: Bryan and Krissy marvel at Brimley’s “forever old” appearance, noting how people in the ’70s and ’80s looked generationally older than now—e.g., Brimley at 51 appeared 80.
  • "He looked no younger than 79 years old. No younger. I mean, the guy honestly looked like any other 80 year old walking down the street in 2024." – Bryan (01:59)
• Bryan’s Starbucks Antics: Bryan recounts asking baristas to guess Brimley’s age, leading to accidental flattery about his own age and comically awkward interactions.
• Wilford Brimley Invades Krissy’s Dreams: Krissy had a dream featuring Brimley as a Jamaican shopkeeper, resulting in a surreal general store-meets-Cracker Barrel scenario (05:03–05:36).
• Brimley Commercial Clips: The hosts listen and poke fun at Brimley’s “Quaker Oats” and “diabetes” commercials, riffing on his unique pronunciation and the “authority” in his pitch.
  • "Diabetes, Diabetes, Diabetes." – Bryan mocking Brimley (06:06)
  • "If you have diabetes, I sure hope you die tomorrow because you suck." – Bryan, as “Wilford” (09:07)
  • "He's scaring the out of you is what he's doing." – Bryan (09:32)
• Brimley's Support for Cockfighting: Krissy uncovers Brimley's odd activism against banning cockfighting due to “personal liberties,” which sparks mockery and laughter.
  • "Well, cockfighting’s banned, next thing you know, we’re going to be marrying goats. I’m Wilford Brimley for cockfighting." – Bryan (07:52)

2. Listener Feedback & The Possum Controversy

Timestamps: 10:28–17:36

• Recap of Recent Guest: Joe Dombrowski (comedian) gets shoutouts for his recent appearance and natural humor.
• The Case of the Offended Listener: The hosts discuss a negative Apple review where a listener disavowed the show over disparaging comments about possums.
  • "I really liked your show until you talk shit about possums… They deserve to be here more than humans." – Krissy quoting the review (12:42–12:52)
• The Possum Hunt Challenge: Bryan offers free coffee for a week to anyone who finds the offending segment in the show’s archive (16:04–16:54).
• On-air Possum Apology (Sort of):
  • "I sometimes say stuff just because I say it… Now I'm apologizing to the possum community. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't like possums." – Bryan (12:55)
• Humorous Exploration: The hosts question the depth of possum advocacy and joke about possums being “aliens on Earth,” their roadkill fate, and why they wouldn’t make it onto Noah’s Ark if Bryan was captain.

3. Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Number one possum enemy. The Commercial Break." – Bryan, addressing the show’s new anti-possum branding (16:51)
• "Our show is definitely not for everybody. And I guess we can't even beat possums." – Bryan (16:04)

4. Strange Food Trends — Pickles in Dr. Pepper

Timestamps: 20:34–29:17

• Pregnancy Food Cravings and Odd Combinations: The hosts reminisce about their own and others’ odd food habits (e.g., Bryan’s ramen with every ingredient imaginable).
• Pickle Dr. Pepper Fad: They play and discuss a viral reel featuring a woman ordering Dr. Pepper with pickles at Sonic.
  • "If you like pickles and you like Dr. Pepper… But there's a lot of people that do drink this." – Bryan quoting the reel (24:06)
• Region and Reaction: Krissy suggests pickles in soda might be a Southern thing; Bryan is grossed out but curious.
• Audience Involvement: Bryan invites listeners to share if they also drink "Pickle Dr. Pepper."
• Weird Food Dares and Boundaries:
  • Krissy will try pickles in Dr. Pepper, but not oysters, nor participate in hot food challenges (e.g., One Chip Challenge).
  • "I want us both to suffer equally at the same time." – Bryan, about eating the One Chip (29:11)
• Ride or Die Redefined: The phrase “ride or die” is debated.
  • "I'll be there for you while you're shitting and I'll help you, but I'm not going to go in with you." – Krissy (30:14)

5. Antiques and Unusual Behavior

Timestamps: 30:44–39:03

• Antiques in Unsavory Places: A news story about a Texas man putting antiques “in his ass” and returning them to the shelf is discussed, compared to pandemic ice-cream-lickers, and leads to a tangent on emergency room stories about things in rectums.
  • "This to me should be prosecuted like attempted murder." – Bryan on the antique-stuffer (31:27)
  • "Nothing accidentally goes in your ass… You didn't back into a wall and get a painting in your ass or whatever." – Bryan, quoting an ER doctor (33:12)
• Infamous Urban Legends: They revisit the Richard Gere gerbil rumor as a childhood touchstone for urban myths (34:35–36:01).
• Antiquing as a Hobby: Krissy and Bryan discuss antique shopping, estate sales, and the influence of “Antiques Roadshow–style” TV on the business of antique hunting. Krissy notes that estate sale companies take a commission and help grieving families.

6. Facebook Marketplace and the Pearl Jam Poster Saga

Timestamps: 41:39–51:13

• Bryan Tries to Sell Pearl Jam Posters: He gets into a comedic confrontation with a Facebook group admin over “unreasonable” auction pricing, only to discover he was posting in a group with only six members.
  • "…the group that I have posted in has six members in it. Six members…jackass and his uncle started." – Bryan (47:55)
• Losing Out for Not Reading Rules: A second attempt in the correct group is derailed by failing to set the auction end-time correctly.
  • "I just thought I was better than everyone else. I guess I could do mine at 3pm." – Bryan (50:21)
• Sentimental Value Prevails: Despite the hassle, Bryan ultimately decides the posters mean enough to keep.
  • "They do mean nothing to me, but…I just have some connection with them." – Bryan (50:49)

7. Teasers and Closing Banter

Timestamps: 51:13–end

• Upcoming Topics: Bryan teases a story involving a live sperm donation and 90 Day Fiancé, to be discussed in the next episode.
• Signature Farewells: Bryan and Krissy exchange their catchphrase best wishes.
  • "I'll tell you that I love you." – Bryan (54:14)
  • "I'll say best to you, best to you. Best you out there in the podcast universe." – Bryan (54:15)
• Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to visit tcbpodcast.com for free stickers, more content, and to call or text the new show number.

Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• "He looked no younger than 79 years old. No younger." — Bryan, on Wilford Brimley (01:59)
• "I'm Wilford Brimley for cockfighting." — Bryan, as Brimley (07:52)
• "Now I'm apologizing to the possum community. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't like possums." — Bryan (12:55)
• "Our show is definitely not for everybody. And I guess we can't even beat possums." — Bryan (16:04)
• "If you like pickles and you like Dr. Pepper… But there's a lot of people that do drink this." — Bryan quoting a viral reel (24:06)
• "I'll be there for you while you're shitting and I'll help you, but I'm not going to go in with you." — Krissy (30:14)
• "Nothing accidentally goes in your ass…You didn't back into a wall and get a painting in your ass." — Bryan (33:12)
• "…the group that I have posted in has six members in it. Six members." — Bryan (47:55)

Important Timestamps

• 00:55 — Episode proper begins; Wilford Brimley banter
• 06:41 — Brimley’s Quaker Oats commercial playback
• 09:32 — Diabetes commercial riffing
• 12:03 — The possum-lover controversy
• 16:04 — Coffee-for-a-week challenge; anti-possum branding
• 20:34 — Weird food segment: pickles and Dr. Pepper
• 30:44 — The man who “butt-smuggled” antiques in Texas
• 34:35 — Urban legend: Richard Gere and the gerbil
• 41:39 — Bryan’s Facebook Marketplace Pearl Jam incident

Episode Tone & Takeaways

True to form, “That’s A Ride Or Die” is irreverent, self-roasting, and gleefully off-the-rails. Bryan and Krissy’s banter embodies affectionate mutual ridicule, quick-witted improvisation, and an open invitation for listeners to join in the fun—or to get offended over small mammals, as the case may be. Whether pondering the aging of celebrities, weird commerce on social media, or the etiquette of sticking things where they don’t belong, the Commercial Break team wrings comedy from every life oddity and internet rabbit hole.

For New Listeners

This episode is a snapshot of everything TCB stands for: spontaneously silly, unpolished, and never quite what you expect. If you like raw, roving, adult-leaning comedy that treats no subject as sacred, you’ll feel right at home.

Skip to [12:03] if you want possum drama, [20:34] for weird food, and [41:39] for Bryan’s Facebook auction saga!