The Commercial Break

Episode: "That's Lynda With a Y To You!"

Date: June 12, 2024
Hosts: Brian Green & Kristen Joy "Chrissy" Oatley

Episode Overview

In this improvisational, freewheeling episode, Bryan and Chrissy dive into two primary comedic topics: their ongoing "possum controversy" with listeners, and Bryan's relentless trolling of text scammers. True to the podcast's chaotic, self-aware style, the duo weave personal stories, bizarre tangents, and local Atlanta social media absurdities (notably, the Nextdoor app) for a blend of relatable humor and outlandish banter. The episode is punctuated by running jokes, callbacks, and a tongue-in-cheek but affectionate roasting of their own audience and themselves.

Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Revisiting the Great Possum Debate (00:41–08:26)

• Recap: Bryan and Chrissy discuss recent feedback from a listener upset over anti-possum sentiments aired a week prior.
• Listener Caitlin’s Help: They thank listener Caitlin for sending in the episode where Bryan went off on possums, highlighting the show’s own inability to remember what they discussed a week before.
• Audio Flashback: Bryan replays his past rant (05:04–07:41) about his general dislike for possums, equating them to "little aliens crawling around the earth."
• Emotional Honesty: The hosts reaffirm that while Bryan may not love possums, he wouldn’t hurt one—"I would swerve to miss it if I saw it running across the street" (07:54).
• Comic Acceptance: Despite the listener drama, Bryan stands by his "alien" description, but admits improv and long weekly recording hours may contribute to his bluntness.

Notable Quotes:

• “My goodwill stops at roaches and possums. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel bad for you...you're like little aliens crawling around this earth.”
  — Brian Greene (06:10)
• “We agreed baby possums get a break. They didn't choose to be here.”
  — Brian Greene (07:37)
• “Possum haters unite!”
  — Brian Greene (08:26)

2. Scammer Text Message Shenanigans (08:27–32:32)

• Introduction: Bryan and Chrissy transition into a lengthy discussion about spam texts and scam calls, with Bryan explaining his hobby: stringing along would-be scammers for his (and the podcast's) amusement.
• Old Scammer War Stories: Bryan shares anecdotes, including a 2.5-year email correspondence with a "Nigerian prince" (09:53) during his Clear Channel days, noting how quickly the scammers cycled personnel but stuck to the same script.
• Modern Tactics: Focus shifts to Bryan's current favorite pastime—baiting text scammers with increasingly absurd, sometimes explicit, responses to waste their time and prevent them from scamming more vulnerable people.
  • Scammer strategies: Pretending to be a wrong number, sending personal photos (often AI-generated or fake), offering "friendly" conversation that leads to requests for money or personal info.
  • Bryan’s methods: Responding as outlandish characters, referencing exploding hemorrhoids, gerbils stuck in inappropriate places, chicken anus inspectors, fake bank transfers, and often ending with sending ridiculous pictures such as "Long Dong Silver" (16:17).
• Live Readings: Bryan reads actual scammer text exchanges from his phone, with real-time play-by-play and comic commentary.
  • Highlight: The Lynda/Linda Exchange: (21:48–23:06) The episode’s title is drawn from Bryan’s persistent correction of a scammer calling him "Linda":
    • "This is Linda with a Y, not with an I. You know that, Diana...Why are you asking me stupid questions? By the way, how's your mom?" (21:48)
    • "If you continue to call me Linda with an I, I'm gonna get very angry." (22:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments:

• “One time I had a guy... I kept telling him I needed my grandma to take me to Walmart... took screenshots of Walmart gift card racks... it ends with me sending a picture of Long Dong Silver, half hard. The guy is like ‘You should go to hell for all your dirty talking.’”
  — Brian Greene (14:36–16:29)
• “If my wife ever looked at my phone, she’d be like, ‘what are you doing?’ ‘Oh, just sending big dick pics to my friends across the sea.’”
  — Brian Greene (16:46)
• “Are you at work today?” “Yes, we have 242,000 chicken anuses to test.”
  — Bryan reading a scam text (18:55)
• “I hope this brings you many happy holidays.” (Referring to sending a picture of a man holding a dildo between his ass cheeks in response to a scammer’s request for an address.)
  — Brian Greene (24:21)

3. A Tour through Nextdoor Absurdity & Atlanta Water Crisis (34:48–52:12)

• Local News Setup: Chrissy recounts Atlanta’s recent string of water main breaks and boil water advisories, and Bryan offers context on the city’s infrastructure woes.
• Nextdoor App Commentary: They turn to reading and deconstructing the bizarre, unhelpful, or clueless posts found on their local Nextdoor app.
  • Examples:
    • “This is my cat, Andre needs fresh water. Do I have to boil?”
    • “I saw this snake in the park… I think it’s because of the water main break.”
    • “Looking for office person one day a week. Medical clinic.”
    • “Looking for outside membership to tennis.”
    • “Does anybody else like the band Kiss? Looking to start a fan club.”
    • “Yamaha keyboard. Keyboard doesn’t work, but you’re welcome to have it.”
• Social Media Generations: Bryan reflects on age/generational divides seen in Nextdoor users’ reactions, referencing an early-pandemic post that accidentally incited 650 cranky responses.
• Brief Clubhouse Nostalgia: They digress into the rise and fall of Clubhouse, comparing it to Nextdoor as an example of how quickly online communities can implode or turn bizarre.
• Running Jokes: “Petting the chickens” as a euphemism, Bryan’s “third grade responses”, and the ever-present dumbfounding logic of Nextdoor posters.

Notable Quotes:

• “Looking for someone to replace cabinet door… please make sure I talk to the manager.”
  — Bryan reading Nextdoor (50:38)
• “Can anyone recommend a gutter cleaning service? My husband recently fell off the roof...I refuse to let him give it a second try.”
  — Bryan reading Nextdoor (51:22)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “My goodwill stops at roaches and possums. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel bad for you...you're like little aliens crawling around this earth.”
  — Brian Greene (06:10)
• “We agreed baby possums get a break. They didn't choose to be here.”
  — Brian Greene (07:37)
• “One of my favorite things in the world is chicken anus. I guess it’s not that bad.”
  — Brian Greene (19:12)
• “If you continue to call me Linda with an I, I’m gonna get very angry.”
  — Brian Greene (22:23)
• “I hope this brings you many happy holidays.”
  — Brian Greene (24:21)

Memorable Moments & Running Gags

• Bryan’s on-air improv responses to actual scam texts—especially the Linda/Lynda ("with a Y!") exchange
• The absurd detail and quick escalation of Brian’s scammer conversations, often involving animal anatomy or geriatric complaints
• The duo’s wonderment at the uselessness or dysfunctionality of Nextdoor posts (“Yamaha keyboard doesn’t work, but you’re welcome to have it.”)
• Callbacks to longstanding show absurdities: “Cats and kittens”, “opossums vs. possums”, and recurring riffing on pet names like Cornelius and Delilah
• The gentle self-mockery about their aging memories, podcasting stamina, and tendency to create and forget running bits (“We talk so much we can’t remember.” 01:43)

Conclusion and Listener Interaction

• Chrissy and Bryan encourage listeners to keep sending in scam texts for Bryan to respond to, thanking fans and reminding everyone about their hotline and upcoming merch.
• The show ends with typical over-the-top affection and signature farewells: “I'll tell you that I love you.” (54:42), “Best to you and best to you [out] there in the podcast universe… we must say goodbye, Sack, and keep on licking.”

Summary Table of Key Segments

| Segment | Topic | Notable Timestamps | Notable Quotes/Moments | |-----------------------------------|---------------------------------|--------------------|-----------------------------------------------| | Possum Debate Redux | Listener feedback; animal rant | 00:41–08:26 | “Possums are like little aliens…” 06:10 | | Scam Text Comedy | Bryan trolling scammers | 08:27–32:32 | “This is Lynda with a Y!” 21:48–22:23 | | Nextdoor & Atlanta Water Crisis | Social media absurdity/local news| 34:48–52:12 | “Yamaha keyboard doesn’t work…” 50:17 |

TL;DR

Bryan and Chrissy revisit their infamous possum rant, field absurd listener feedback, and delight in trolling text scammers with comedic improv. Their playful spirit carries into a satirical reading of local Nextdoor app posts, lampooning social media’s oddest corners and Atlanta’s recent water woes. The episode is a bounty of off-the-cuff humor, signature banter, and a reminder that sometimes, the internet is best enjoyed as absurdist theater.

For New Listeners

This episode is quintessential TCB—irreverent, improvised, occasionally mischievous, never afraid to chase a tangent, and always aiming to laugh hardest at themselves.