The 6-6-6 Method!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "The 6-6-6 Method!"

Episode Date: January 21, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy (Chrissy) Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered episode, Bryan and Chrissy tackle everything from bizarre gym sign-up stories and workout routines, to Beckham family drama, Florida weirdness, and prepping for Georgia’s infamous “Icemageddon.” Infused with their trademark irreverence, playful banter, and spontaneous tangents, the duo creates a hilarious “slice of life” listen, making listeners feel like they’re right there in the chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “6-6-6 Method” and Bryan’s Gym Fiasco

[00:08–00:56, 29:08–44:21]

• Setting Up: The episode kicks off with a mock personal trainer conversation about 2026 fitness goals, poking fun at New Year’s gym pressures and Bryan’s lack of enthusiasm for exercise programs.
• Bryan’s Gym Return: After a long hiatus, Bryan reluctantly visits the gym with his wife Astrid, finding himself ensnared in a typical gym sales gauntlet.
  • He’s embarrassed when the front desk pulls up his old, expired account:
    “Your membership expired due to non-payment.” ([30:58] – Bryan)
  • The true goal: Use the gym’s tanning beds, not actually to work out.
  • Bryan details the web of up-charges, options, and the relentless “Ellen” the salesperson, quipping:

    “Ellen is not the friendly lady behind the counter. Ellen is a salesperson for a timeshare company known as Crunch Fitness. I’m gonna get fucked.” ([31:15] – Bryan)

  • In an effort to avoid another sales pitch, Bryan lies about his name, gets caught, and eventually gives in:

    “Let me make this easy for you. You sign me up.” ([36:15] – Bryan)

  • New member embarrassment: his photo blares on all the gym screens, announced for all to see.
  • Cue the persistent, overly enthusiastic personal trainer James, who immediately tries to schedule Bryan for "goal-setting":

    “Oh, yeah, that’s popular among old people. That’s for the over 70 crowd. You’re gonna do great.” ([40:41] – James, on the “666 method”) “He’s literally chasing me out the door, and I’m like, got to go. The milk is bad. Don’t worry about the milk.” ([42:37] – Bryan)

  • The pair compare gym sign-up tactics to timeshare sales, riffing on the universal discomfort of high-pressure “Wellness Consultant” spiels.
  • Chrissy sums up:

    “That is exactly the way that things go.” ([43:24] – Chrissy)

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2. Celebrity Family Drama—Brooklyn Beckham’s Spilled Tea

[03:56–10:26]

• Bryan and Chrissy discuss Brooklyn Beckham’s public grievances with his parents and the media circus surrounding it.
  • Bryan’s take: Overblown melodrama, “spoiled milk,” and the urge to keep family matters private.
  • Notable quote:

    “You literally got the kiss of the golden dragon… your dad and your mom are two of the most beautiful people to have ever lived on earth.” ([04:30] – Bryan)

  • Brooklyn’s failed attempts to find his niche (chef, author, influencer) are lovingly skewered:

    “Now he’s going on tour. He’s got a book coming out. This is what you do. You strike out on your own. You gotta make a big stink.” ([08:27] – Bryan)

• Chrissy defends breaking out of the family name, but agrees there are classier ways.

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3. Phone Scams, Spam, & Myanmar’s Scam City

[01:16–03:00]

• Bryan shares a jaw-dropping story about entire “scammer cities” in Myanmar, where international crews run massive phone and web scams for bonuses.
  • “Millions of phones just clicking away at this and that…” ([02:15] – Bryan)
• Chrissy and Bryan commiserate over the endless stream of spam calls and the reality of losing control over their own phone numbers.

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4. Sports Tangents: College Football, NIL Era, and the Human Side

[12:31–18:41]

• A rare detour into sports: Chicago Bears in the snow, college football’s shifting landscape, and heartwarming stories like Fernando Mendoza’s win and his mother’s ALS battle.
  • Bryan’s commentary:

    “That kid Mendoza, what’s wrong with his mom? She has ALS. Every time they pan to her, I just… got goosebumps.” ([15:27] – Bryan)

  • On college football:

    “That’s why I like college football too, is because you watch professional football and it’s like… big burly millionaire hits other burly millionaire… I much prefer college football.” ([16:00] – Bryan)

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5. Olympics, Parenting and Pushing Kids in Sports

[16:37–20:19]

• Discussion about enthusiasm for Winter vs. Summer Olympics, curling, and tricks to appreciate otherwise less-flashy sports.
• Parenting confessionals: Bryan’s mixed feelings about how far to push his daughter’s gymnastics and the scary trade-off between ambition and safety.
  • “I see a body as like a battery… it’s only got so much life in it.” ([19:05] – Bryan)

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6. Weather Woes: "Icemageddon," Prepping in Georgia, and Weather Anxiety

[47:08–57:34]

• The hosts recount Georgia’s ham-fisted reaction to forecasts, from panic-buying to total inaction.
  • Bryan:

    “This could be Icemageddon again, because… we are in a situation here in Georgia as anybody who… Florida just got snow.” ([47:11] – Bryan)

  • Astute observations about why Atlanta shuts down for a dusting of snow, the infamous “Grady Curve,” and the perils of southern driving in ice.
  • The ritual of buying “milk and bread” before storms is roasted:

    “Can you make a sandwich with milk and bread? What are you making, French toast?” ([53:11] – Bryan)

• Chrissy and Bryan get real about power outages, “fire pits in the living room,” and the utter unpredictability of southern winter weather.
  • Notable:

    “Everything depends on the fart of the wind. That’s just basically how it happens here in Georgia.” ([53:37] – Bryan)

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7. Homeownership Headaches: The Water Heater Saga

[56:24–63:46]

• Bryan details his comically disastrous water heater breakdown and DIY repair journey, involving multiple trips to Home Depot, confused interactions with store experts, and lots of self-deprecation.
  • Key moment:

    “If I gotta tool with something, I'm way in over my head.” ([62:19] – Bryan)

• Takeaway: Always have “a guy,” or just be prepared to take cold showers and whine about it.

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8. Florida Man & Tourist Hijinks

[23:41–28:44]

• Fondness for Florida is juxtaposed with stories of outlandish tourist antics—people peeing on docks, oversharing on security cameras, and why Florida news is so captivating.
  • Explanation of why “Florida Man” tales abound:

    “I think everyone across the country is just as batshit crazy. But in Florida there’s public accessibility to all the stories.” ([27:17] – Bryan)

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9. Meta Moments & Community Vibes

[21:09, 23:41, 64:15]

• Bryan and Chrissy repeatedly highlight their love for the listeners, mentioning lively chat members like “South Georgia Sean,” and their efforts to strengthen community through streaming and shoutouts.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Gym Pressure:
  “Ellen is a salesperson for a timeshare company known as Crunch Fitness. I’m gonna get fucked.” ([31:15] – Bryan)

• On Family Drama:
  “You literally got the kiss of the golden dragon… your dad and your mom are two of the most beautiful people to have ever lived on earth.” ([04:30] – Bryan)

• On Atlanta Weather:
  “Everything depends on the fart of the wind. That’s just basically how it happens here in Georgia.” ([53:37] – Bryan)

• On the Florida Man Phenomenon:
  “I think everyone across the country is just as batshit crazy. But in Florida there’s public accessibility to all the stories.” ([27:17] – Bryan)

• On Suffering DIY Plumbing:
  “If I gotta tool with something, I'm way in over my head.” ([62:19] – Bryan)

• On Parenting & Ambition:
  “I see a body as like a battery… it’s only got so much life in it.” ([19:05] – Bryan)

• On Chat Community:
  “South Georgia Sean will give you a nickname. You can be the moderator.” ([64:47] – Bryan)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:08 — Opening gym segment/parody
• 03:56–10:26 — Brooklyn Beckham and celebrity drama
• 12:31–18:41 — Football, Mendoza’s story, NIL and college sports
• 23:41–28:44 — Florida adventures and “Florida man” phenomenon
• 29:08–44:21 — Gym sales saga, “666 method,” and Bryan’s new healthy lifestyle (sort of)
• 47:08–57:34 — Icemageddon, survival tips, weather culture in Atlanta
• 56:24–63:46 — Hot water heater disaster and DIY dreams dash
• 64:15–end — Listener engagement, outro

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Tone & Vibe

• Self-aware, snarky, and good-natured—hosts lean into their chaos ("the Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts"), poking fun at themselves, the world around them, and the absurdities of everyday life.
• Banter is rapid-fire and unpredictable, with affectionate ribbing between longtime friends.
• Audience is treated as “insiders” — encouraged to participate in streams, join the chat, and generally eavesdrop on the madness.

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Summary

This episode of The Commercial Break encapsulates the show’s riotous, unstructured charm. Bryan and Chrissy spin comedic gold from gym scams, celebrity nonsense, weather dread, and DIY misadventures, all while building an inviting, interactive community. Whether mocking the perils of “New Year, New You,” telling tales of “Florida Man,” or just trying to stay warm amid Georgia’s icy surprises, their riffing never fails to land a laugh.

Best to you!

Transcript

[James (Personal Trainer)]

On this episode of the commercial break. Hey, Brian, I want to talk to you about your 2026 goals. What are you doing? Are you just here having fun? Are you trying to lose some weight? What are you doing?

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, yeah, I just want to get generally in shape.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Do you have a program you're. Or do you follow some methodology or something?

[Brian Green]

I go, yeah, I go. The 666 method.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Oh, yeah, that's popular among old people. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host on this show, Chris to Joy Huntley. Best of you, best of you out there in the podcast universe. How are you? Welcome to the Armageddon.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

What was that voice?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I just decided to use a voice.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I like it.

[Brian Green]

The one I use. Hey, howdy hodar. To all the friends out there streaming. Yes, we do want to buy a million views. Give it to us. The bots jump right on. They jump right on the channel. They know. Yeah, they know there's some enterprising young Russians out there. I read an interesting New York Times article about on the edges of Miramar, war torn Miramar, there are enterprising young people from all around the world who have built an entire city. City, like well funded city. Apartment complexes, offices, stores, the whole nine yards. And all they do is is scam people across the world. Yeah, there are French Canadian. There are people from all around the world have made their way to Myanmar in order to live and scam people. And they get bonuses per, you know, $5,000. You get to ring a bell. It's a whole farm.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Millions of phones just clicking away at this and that. It's welcome, welcome.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I mean, I believe it considering I get like a million spam calls a day. I mean, thank goodness I've got that service that filters them out, but good lord, I did not apply for loan.

[Brian Green]

No, I did not apply for a loan either, but somebody applied for a loan on my behalf and now for the rest of my life, I will suffer. Yeah, and that's okay. Whatever. I just ignore it all.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, me too.

[Brian Green]

It's getting to the point where, you know, when I first got a phone, it took some of my attention. Then it was taking all of my attention for a couple of years there. And now I don't like it. I hate my phone. So now it's taking none of my attention.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

It's like I leave on do not disturb 24 hours a day, if somebody texts me, I check texts once every six hours. And since Apple's intelligent is neither intelligent nor Apple, all of my notifications get turned off regardless.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

They really do.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I was trying to text you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you were trying to text me. And I even have you as part of my, like, emergency contact family, so usually yours.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, my dad got cut off the other day. I was like, what? Yeah, he's like, my emergency contact and everything. And just sent him straight to voicemail.

[Brian Green]

The last Thursday. Was it Thursday? The Verizon outage. I was out of a phone for almost 12 hours, 13 hours. Just my phone wasn't there. It was the best thing ever.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

You got a vacation?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, until I had to take one of the kids over to one of their rehearsals or something, and I wanted to watch something on my phone, and I had no service whatsoever. It was terrible. I tried to get on, like, public library Internet.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That was a bad outage.

[Brian Green]

It's a bad outage. And some people say it's because one server in New Jersey went down. And other people say black helicopters are flying over my house. The world is a fucking shit show right now. It is a shit show. But let's talk about the shittiest of the shit show. And I know you. All of you know who I'm talking about, right? All of you know what the biggest deal in the world is right now, and that is Brooklyn Beckham has gone.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Apeshit on his parents, has no plans to reconcile.

[Brian Green]

What are you thinking? You literally got the kiss of the dragon, the kiss of the golden dragon. And your dad and your mom are two of the most beautiful people to have ever lived on earth. And I do not want to make fun of someone the way that someone looks, but Brooklyn is not like he did not like that. He's not the same. He's not the same cut in structure of his father. Fine, wonderful. But this seems like a little bit of, first of all, if it's true what Brooklyn is saying.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

What is he saying?

[Brian Green]

He's saying that his mom really hates his wife.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, right.

[Brian Green]

His mom hates his wife. She doesn't want anything to do with them. They don't get invited to parties. She caused a lot of drama at the wedding because she didn't want Brooklyn to get married to this lady. It's clear that Brooklyn loves this girl because I've seen pictures and videos, and they're literally, like, on top of each other, licking each other's tonsils. They're on top of Each other. Clearly there is something going on between the.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Doesn't that happen in like half family? It happens in every family.

[Brian Green]

Keep the family shit private. Yeah, to go burning all of the bridges, it just, it seems like the, it seems like the act of a spoiled child. Right, exactly. And listen, I'm not saying that Brooklyn shouldn't feel free to talk about what happened to him, but writing a book and putting it on social media and making sure that the. He wrote a book. Everybody, everybody fucking write a book. Our agent came to me one time, is like, you got a book in you? And I'm like, I'm sure I do. Who the fuck wants to hear it? No one. No one wants. I'm sure I have a book in me. I'm sure I have four books in me. But no one wants to read that shit. And no one wants to read about Brooklyn Beckham's, you know, spoiled milk over the fact that his mom doesn't like his wife. That is most families, right? Some people are really good at hiding their disdain for their in laws and some are not. And that's just the way it is. And I understand it's a power. Like you live in this world of PR and you know, well placed stories that make people look good or bad. You live in a very fanciful, false world. I understand, good for you for recognizing it. But you're not to bring the whole family down with you. And I am not some super fan of David Beckham or Victoria Beckham. I could give a shit. I just, after having read a lot about it, I think it feels to me like just a, a kid lashing out at his parents because he's not getting what he wants, which is his mom to be in love with his wife. Well, you know what, that doesn't happen a lot of times, so. And you're really your, your inheritance up, aren't you?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Well, she's who he married is like extremely wealthy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well then there you go. Yeah, then just don't say anything at all. Yeah, he's emboldened by the fact that no matter what happens, he's gonna be living on the high hog. You are one of the few lucky people who have won the genetic lottery. Maybe not in looks and stature, but you won the genetic lottery in the sense that you're. You are never going to be without.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Ever.

[Brian Green]

Your parents are billionaires. You're never going to be without. Your wife's never going to be without. Your children, if you have them, are never going to be without. Leave it at that. But here's the thing that I've. I kind of. As I went down the rabbit hole of Brooklyn.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

You went down the rabbit hole?

[Brian Green]

I did. He has tried to, like, invent himself as a celebrity a number of times to no great fan. Yeah, he was going to be a celebrity chef. He went on the Today show. I have never seen a cooking segment like this before. Those two anchors could. First of all, it was like the Today show number four. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. The fourth hour, the one that happens at 1:00 clock in the afternoon on a channel you can't get on, streaming only on some Internet site. And he was trying to cook a simple English sandwich. Bacon, sausage, eggs, ketchup. Bacon, egg, sausage, eggs, ketchup. Even I could do that. And I'm not. I'm no chef. And. And it just looked gross. Like the bacon wasn't cooked, the sausage was falling apart. He was smearing it in ketchup. And the anchors, they were desperate to get out of the segment. Like, desperate. And he was just taking his dear sweet time. They were like, okay, okay, hurry up. All right, put the bacon on. There's the eggs. There you go. They were desperate to get out. Now he's going on tour. Now Brooklyn is going on tour. He's got a book coming out. Of course, this is what you do. You strike out on your own. You got to make a big stink. Got to make sure people know who exactly the fuck you are. And who the fuck are you? I don't know. You're the kid of Victoria and David. That has got to be a difficult punishment in life. Like being a royal. It's got to be a difficult punishment.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. I mean, I see where, you know, you want to break out and have your own identity and that kind of thing, but you don't have to do it that way.

[Brian Green]

You could do it with a little bit more class.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, you honestly could. Everyone, you know, you're. You're. People are going to see this as spoiled milk. Hey, South Georgia Sean.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Hello. Hello.

[Brian Green]

Hey.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

All right.

[Brian Green]

And then there's Ohio. Shannon. Oh, they're recognizing South Georgia Sean in the chat. We're streaming right now. For those of you listening on the podcast version, we're streaming right now. People are in the chat. South Georgia Sean has showed up. He's like a celebrity in the chat now. People are like, it's out, Georgia shown. Hey, South Georgia. Hi, Shannon. Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us. So, yeah, I, you know, I understand it's not an easy life Everything is about perspective. Everyone's got problems, but let's look at the world around us and let's evaluate whether or not you and your wife, your mom and your wife snipping at each other is really of national news importance. Apparently it is because everyone's talking about it. So there you go.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

There are name attached.

[Brian Green]

Yes. There are so many more important things.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Going on strike out on your own, have your own identity, helping the world.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Once you take all that money and go like, you know, start a food bank or something. I don't know that you didn't. But let's go start a food bank. Why don't you go, you know, I don't know, to Myanmar and break up all of these phone banks that are trying to sell us views. So anyway, great weekend here at the house. The in laws left.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, they did? I was going to ask.

[Brian Green]

Yes, they left.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

They were making their way back to Venezuela.

[Brian Green]

They made their way back to their home of Venezuela unharmed. And they're back in their house and everything seems to be okay. They were. They got there fine. Like everything really turned out okay. Yeah, I mean, at least I haven't heard any different. I heard that a couple of days ago. It is great news because I was getting concerned because one of the legitimate concerns is I'm here yapping about my family in Venezuela 24 hours a day. But they have to go home.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And the current regime, the people that are still in charge of Venezuela are really no different than the last.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I was going to say. I'd be interested to hear their perspective on as. As things evolve down there, how things are changing. Hopefully for the better.

[Brian Green]

Well, the Helio side, the place where they torture political dissidents, has started to release people. They've released Americans that were being held down there. They have released some people who were caught up in the melee after Maduro was taking out. They were looking at phones and putting people in custody. And people were pro, you know, pro Maduro leaving the country. Like, anti Maduro. They were putting them in handcuffs. And apparently those people have now been released due to pressure from Marco Rubio and the State Department. So we'll see. You know, I think right now I don't want to talk about it too much in depth, but just know that they are there and they are safe and they are good. So we'll continue to see how this evolves. But it's funny, the news cycle moves so fucking fast that no one remembers anything about Venezuela.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Now what focused on what happened, who happened.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's it's like a very interesting time to be alive.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because the news cycle literally lasts for four hours until someone tweets something.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. Until you look at your phone next and see a new headline.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's. I don't know. But anyway, Chicago Bears. Yes, I know we don't talk about the Bears. Da Bears. The Bears lost in a nail biter.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I really wanted them to win.

[Brian Green]

Six fucking degrees and snowing in Chicago.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

It was so cold.

[Brian Green]

That is a football game. I love it. I mean, I love to sit in the heat and watch it. I have no interest in being in Soldier Field. No. No. And Soldier Field is, like, right off the lake. It's like a really windy, cold place.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Looking at it. Yeah. Everything was swirling.

[Brian Green]

Been to one game. All I remember was being cold. That's all I remember was being cold. And I have no interest. But anyway, football's getting interesting. Last night was a national championship playoffs. And Fernando Mendoza, Indiana, wins for the first time in history. Listen.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

What a story.

[Brian Green]

I don't give a shit. Like, I'm not a. I'm not a sports guy, right? You know, you've listened to the show. I'm not a sports guy. There's a couple sports that I keep up with. I like college football because I like to root for a team, whoever that happens to be. I like to, you know, UGA or whatever. I like to root for a team and see what happens. College football seems like they're playing, like, for the love of the game. And although now $7 million.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I was gonna say not so much anymore.

[Brian Green]

Now. Yeah, the Nil. I just realized that Carson Beck, the football player, he's not even in college. He graduated two years ago. This is the funniest shit to me. He graduated two years ago.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

He was the one that was driving around because he was at uga, you know, he was driving around town in his Lamborghini.

[Brian Green]

He was driving around town in his Lamborghini before the Nil. And people were like, how'd you get that Lamborghini? And he's like, I don't know. I don't know. What are you talking about? My Lamborghini. I borrowed it from a friend. It was. This has always been going on. But the Nil levels the playing field. But I. I have a friend. I won't say who you'll be. You'll be able to figure out, I have a friend who is being pitched by his alma mater to, like, they need a quarterback. So they're, like, desperate to get a quarterback. So, yeah, you Know, my friend has some money, so they keep pitching him, you know, donate, donate. They're asking for $1.5 million, but he is one of, like, 3,000 alumni they're asking money for. Yeah, it's just a big money game. Yeah. Schools that can compete, that have, you know, deep pockets and big alumni. University of Texas, Indiana, Miami, uga. But this really kind of levels the playing field in the sense that if you got a couple of guys that did well after they went to college and they really liked their school, you know, you could buy some players. That's what you do. But it's got something's.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know how long this can go. I mean, how long can it go? I don't know. Anyway, Indiana won last night.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

In a fantastic final quarter of football. I mean, the game was good, but the final quarter was unbelievable. That kid Mendoza, what's wrong with his mom?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

She has als.

[Brian Green]

She has als, okay. Every time they pan to her, I just, like, I. I just got goosebumps.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I was like, wow. You know, that's unbelievable. Here you are, struggling to keep your head upright, and your son is muscling his way, using his body in every way possible, contorting and jumping and scrambling to. To make a dream come true.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I thought it was. I thought it was lovely, actually. I thought it was lovely. It's always good when there's a story.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

You know, I always like those endings. Everybody's celebrating, and it's just. It's fun.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They do it. They do it. They do a good job. They always make it. There's a human story somewhere. They're going to find it and they figure it out, and I love that. That's why I like. That's quite frankly, why I like college football, too, is because you watch professional football and it's like, oh, you know, big burly millionaire hits other burly millionaire. I mean, there's some good games, but when it gets to the playoffs. But I much prefer college football.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. It's more human.

[Brian Green]

But we'll see. We'll see what happens, you know? And right around the corner, the Masters. A tradition like no other.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We've got the super bowl for that, but.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Looking forward to the Masters and then the Olympics.

[Brian Green]

Olympics are coming up.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yes, they are.

[Brian Green]

Winter Olympics. Is it just me, or am I not as excited about the Winter Olympics as I am about those Summer Olympics?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, I think a lot of people. Well, I don't know. You've got ice Skating. Everybody loves that.

[Brian Green]

I'm not into ice skating.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Well, wait, because this. We were. Hold on. Four years ago when we were watching the Olympics before. Remember? We were doing little commentaries and stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Curling.

[Brian Green]

Curling.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, that was the curling.

[Brian Green]

The one. Yeah. You throw the puck or the throw the.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Is that the one where you got the rock person that scratches, you know, Scratches the ice?

[Brian Green]

Yes, absolutely. I love that. I love where you scratch the ice. Rubbing the ice real quick. That really makes me excited. And then, you know, snowboarding, skiing. Downhill skiing is pretty fun to watch.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

The skiing and the snowboarding is a lot of fun.

[Brian Green]

Skiing in the snowboarding, now that I think about it.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I love it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I love it. All ice skating. I mean, I.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Listen, okay, When I was younger, that was like, a big deal.

[Brian Green]

Big deal. My mom likes the ice skating. Hi, Marion. Are you watching the ice skating? No, Mom, I'm not. Because my mom went ice skating one time, and they, like, you know, she had a coach and they, like, coached her how to twirl. And so I think it was like her dream to be a professional ice skater. That didn't happen. So she now. But, you know, it's like me, anytime, you know, anytime there's a rock and roll band on tv, I tell my kids, hey, exactly. Check that out. You see those guys?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

The same thing.

[Brian Green]

I did the same thing to far fewer people and much smaller stages. Actually, it wasn't a stage. It was a garage. It wasn't a stage. It was a rug in someone's living room.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Senior living place.

[Brian Green]

It was the senior living Shady Oaks Retirement Center. Everybody's in the chat, having a good time. Looks like South Georgia Sean is holding court over.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, good for you. Keep it. Hold the fort down over there. South Georgia Sean. Yeah. People are agreeing with me about college football. Yeah, it does feel like college football. Even though now these guys are millionaires, too. Some of them are millionaires, too. It feels to me like they're still doing it.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Exactly. And you can see, too. I mean, you don't see a lot of that with the NFL players where their mom, who took them to every single practice when they were young, is. Is right there. And you see a lot more of that with, like, the parents really being, you know, all the dedication that they. I mean, it's a lot of work.

[Brian Green]

Of course, for the parents, too.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

All the practices and the. The money that goes into it and the time.

[Brian Green]

So one of my kids is into gymnastics, and she happens to be good, but she's tiny. She's like, I know I say, tiny, she's young. And we're already getting the coaches who are saying we can take her under our wing and try to shine. And I'm like, first of all, I, I don't want her to break her neck. Like, you know, like, I get nervous. Like they're asking her to do some, like, stuff that she flying in the air and all this other stuff. She loves to do it. But your bot. I, I see a body is like a battery, right? It's only got so much life in it. And if you push those kids so hard physically when they're young and growing, you know. Yeah, I have, I have mixed emotions about pushing my kids into additional sports. She's already doing it three times a week. Do we need to have her doing it a week? You know, two hour practices, all that other stuff. And there's no guarantees that anything happens. And one injury and she, it could alter her life forever. And then, then, then she won't be able to do the thing that she enjoys. So for me at this age, I'm kind of like, let it relax.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. Have fun with it.

[Brian Green]

But then again, I, I look at those, you know, those gymnasts. They're nine. They're nine years old. They're nine years old with, you know, big, like, huge thick legs and, you know. Who's that? Who's it, who? Simone Biles.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, Simone.

[Brian Green]

Let her come back. We don't. You don't need my daughter. Let Simone Biles do it for the rest of her life. Even at 60, she's gonna be better than some of the girls that are out there right now. That's just my opinion. So, anyway, lots more to talk about. Everyone's settled down. I know it's been a very, you know, crazy couple of weeks.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. Since January 1st.

[Brian Green]

Yes, since just. Since January 1st. We now own Venezuela, Greenland and part of Canada, so. Or according to some people, I don't know. But anyway, we'll try and give you a break from all that stuff. We'll try. Yeah, we'll try to give you a break.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We'll think about trying.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we'll think about trying about not talking about politics too much on the show. But if you, if you want us to talk about it, if you have any ideas, if you have any ideas about what you want to talk about, drop it in the stream.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. Let us know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean, that's part of the, part of the reason why we want to go live, Right? Part of the reason why we want to go live and why we want you the listeners on the podcast to join us when we go live is so that we can get you involved. See, there's a fun little group going on in there. Everyone's having a good time.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I can actually read it. I can't see.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's South Ohio Lauren or something. Now, everyone's got a name in the chat, so give yourself a name. Have some fun. We'll try and read it with our old eyeballs and we'll see if we can figure out.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I'm going to bring my binoculars and then put those up.

[Brian Green]

You really do have to. We have the world's biggest TV in front of us, and we have seven TVs in the studio. Still can't read what you said. I mean, I can a little bit.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

It's far away, is the thing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's far away. Maybe we should just put it right in front of us. Like, maybe I should get a thousand inch tv. Should we get a projector in here?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I'm just gonna bring. You can wear your monocle and I'll bring my penalty.

[Brian Green]

Sal Jones is shown. Who's that? All right, let's take a break. We always go long.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We do.

[Brian Green]

Look, we're already 25 minutes into the damn show. It's halfway over. We still got four more segments to go. All right, we'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Best to you. Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

All right. Okay, okay. Settle down. All right. I just figured that I could. I can throw up the comments onto the screen. I just. We're figuring this out as we go.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We are.

[Brian Green]

Hey, everybody in there. I see Jenny in there. There's a bunch of people in there. Hey, guys, how are you?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Lauren. She's been admitted into a group.

[Brian Green]

Lauren has been admitted into the group versus more. More central Florida people. I. I have a feeling that we have a lot of Florida listeners. I mean, not a feeling. I see it on our. On our chat. We have a lot of Florida listeners. And that's. That tracks. His brains are frying with the commercial break and all that sun down there. But I got. I love Florida. Don't get me wrong. God damn, do I love Florida. I love it. It's a dream come true. Every time I go down to Florida, Every time I go down to Florida, I feel like I'm in heaven. I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be. That smell, that fresh smell of the wood factories, you know, when they're making the paper mills. Have you ever been to a beach town where they have a paper mill close to it? Like, Amelia island has a paper mill.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That's what it was. Amelia Island. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That smell. But you get used to it. It's like this sweet, toxic. I'm burning my nose hairs out kind of. Yeah, that's right. Wow. I was watching. So I belong to all these Amelia island groups.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I was watching somebody put the funniest fucking thing up. So they have a dock down in the harbor at Fernandina, which is the town. And the town is on the harbor side. It's on the inlet side. Right, It's. And so the ships come in there. There's fishing boats. And they have recently renovated it so they can get big yachts in there and all this other stuff. But they have all these cameras down there as two fucking nudniks, you know, Mike and Jim or whatever his name is. And they decide they're going to go on the dock, piss on a door, like a storefront door, and like, steal a camera and then put shaving cream on other cameras. These guys are like in their mid or late 20s. They're not. They're clearly tourists from Amelia Island. Like, you know, they don't look like local Floridians. They look like a couple guys who wear pop collars. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And the funny. The person who wrote the. They put the video up. The ring doorbell video up, or the NEST camera, whatever it was. And they wrote the funniest thing. It's like, I. Matisse, take a look at these two pirates. One pirate decides to pee while the other one says, mike, there's a camera. And he does. He goes, hey, Mike, There's a camera. Hey, Mike. He used his name. Then he's. The other guy is like, what? What'd you say, Jim? It's like they said their names and it's like pirates shouldn't use each other's names when doing pirate stuff. Help us find these two.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I bet they get some interesting footage.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they probably do. I mean, you know, they probably put the cameras on there so they make sure if someone falls over they, you know, they can catch it. And what they caught was two pirates being pirate asshol. Why I can understand kind of why Florida. First of all, I think that Florida gets a bad rap. Like the Florida man thing. Now there's a whole show on HBO called It's Florida Man.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

It is really funny.

[Brian Green]

It is really funny. But part this is.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

And they have the real people on there too.

[Brian Green]

They do. Sometimes they get the real people to tell the stories about how they are shitheads. And part of the reason why Florida gets all of these wild stories is because of the public access. Yeah. As soon as you're arrested in Florida and the officer writes a report and files that report, which is usually within 24 hours of you being arrested, sometimes much quicker it goes up in the system and then anybody can see it. As long as you know where to look. Right. And so they have all the, like these news, you know, these places that get these articles, they have these screen scrapers, they just go in and start screen, you know, looking for certain words or phrases or whatever. So I think that everyone across the country is just as batshit crazy.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Green]

But in Florida there's two reasons why you get more of these stories. Number one, the public accessibility to all of the stories. But number two, because Mike and Jim, that's why. Because Mike and Jim are shithead tourists that come down to Florida and pee all over the front doors of shops. Everyone goes down to Florida and thinks like, the law doesn't exist. You know, I'm down vacationing. So yeah, it's like these Americans that go into all of these far flung locations and start acting the idiot.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. Like World Heritage Sites and stuff across the the. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

There's Blue. Hey, Say hey to Blue, everybody. Is that Shannon says she used to work in a ferry in Mayport? Mayport is very close to Fernandina Beach. So I think that when like we. My rule is when you go to a far flung location, when we go to wherever, Spain, Europe, wherever. The island, Florida, you know, 12 miles from my house, I always think to myself, try not to stand out. Try not to stand out, Right? Don't be a fucking moron. Act like a local or try and act like a local or at least don't make trouble for the locals. Because that is why we all get a bad rap when we go around the world. That and trying to invade Greenland. Those things can give us bad news. They can give us bad looks, right?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, it's a bad look.

[Brian Green]

The thing is, is that when you go down to Florida. I get it, you're going down there, you have a vacation, you have a few extra beverages, you know, you're feeling good, the sun is baking you. Yeah, it's a true thing. It's a serious thing. When you get all that sun in you, you know, you feel high. In life, you get a little extra.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Vitamin D. That's why you go the tanning bed, right?

[Brian Green]

That's why I go to the tanning bed. That's why I go to the. I had to break up with my tanning bed. And let me explain why. This is a good segue here. So it's probably been about seven years, six years since I've been to a gym. Like an actual gym.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Well, you put that one time. We talked about it on the show. That was funny.

[Brian Green]

That guy was funny. So I went back to that gym because Astrid's part of it.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

I go back to that gym and we use a friends and family pass that you get, right? And I go in there and Astrid says to me, whatever, this is recent. This is recent over the weekend. She says, you want to go to the gym with me? And I said, no, actually, I really don't want to go to the gym with you. And she said, and I said, why don't I go take a run? I'll take a run because I like running. I said, let me go take a run. I'll drop you off at the gym. I'll come pick you back. But then I step outside and I realize that I have no fucking interest in. I'm too old to be running in 22 degree weather. Yeah, that was me when I was in my late twenties. Now my bones are brittle. I can't handle it. I'm afraid they're gonna break. I got calcium problems. Calcium freezes. So I say, ah, you know what? I'll go to the gym with you. I'll go run on the treadmill.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

So I go run on the treadmill. I walk in, they. This is kind of embarrassing, actually. You know, they. Astrid goes, he's my. I'm gonna use him on My past. And the guy go, I just need your id. And then, have you ever been here before? And I said, I did. It was years ago. I don't remember. And then he gives me. He gives me the tablet and he says, find your email address and log in. And I find my email address, which is like an email from six years ago. And then it also. And it says, you know, you've been here one time. Your membership expired due to non payment.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, no. So then did you have to pay?

[Brian Green]

No, no. He was like, you're good. Don't worry about it. You know, flashing. Non payment. Non payment. You're one of 6 million people that cancel their membership by cutting off the credit card. Right. And this is the big time for the gym.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, the biggest.

[Brian Green]

And they have sales people dripping all over the place. I mean, it's an. It's a weekend afternoon, and there are just, like seven people, like, meandering behind the counter advertising, and they're all, like, looking at you.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

The biggest. January is the biggest month for that.

[Brian Green]

So I give the guy my id, and he says, I'm gonna give your ID to Ellen. Whatever her name is. Ellen. And she'll have it when you're ready to go. And I already know the score here. I'm like, ellen is not the friendly lady behind the counter. Ellen is a salesperson for a timeshare company known as Crunch Fitness. I'm gonna get fucked. So I go and so I'm like, okay, all right. I know the deal. I'll find an excuse not to talk to Ellen at the end of the thing. So I go and I run. And then I, I. I would do a little working out. And feels good. And I'm like, okay.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

It's so good. Once you do it, it feels good.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Well, until after we wake up the next morning.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Well, right.

[Brian Green]

And I can't. I can't move my ass.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

No, I know. I've. I've been trying to get back into strength training, and it's those first few times, but if you push past that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but it really hurts. I have this cough that doesn't go away. And so I did. I. Only. My thing is, is that I do four muscle groups, and I do what's called six by six. You do six repetitions six times of this. Of the heaviest weight that you can do.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So you start. So I start off like that. The heaviest I can do. And then I'll bring it down a little bit if I. If I'm stress, if I. If I can't get those last reps in, yeah, I bring it down a little bit. But you're. It's muscle confusion. And you're really just going for heavyweight short bursts, right? And so I did that on the, on the Crunch machine. And Chrissy, I have this goddamn cough. I can't lay down in the bed without, like, putting my hands down first and like, maneuvering my body so I don't have to use my abs. Every time I cough, I'm like, it hurts me so bad.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I know after doing squats and lunges, I mean, those first few times, it's like, I can probably sit down. Made you cough just thinking about it. Did your abs hurt?

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

It hurts.

[Brian Green]

It hurts up here. So I go, I do the workout. Then I see at the Crunch Fitness, they have all these doors, it says relax. And I'm like, oh. And Astron had told me one time in a far flung conversation where she was trying to convince me to stop paying so much money for the goddamn tanning bed. She was like, you know, they have a tanning bed at the gym that you can use for free. And I'm like, no, that's not true. They don't have.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

That's not true.

[Brian Green]

So I see these doors. Relax. So I just go behind the little area and I'm looking at all, looking into the doors. Course they have these massage chair, massage tables, like the electronic ones. Yeah, that in, like encase you in the little thing. They have massage chairs. They have four tanning beds. Oh, stand up tanning beds. So I go to the, the front counter and I said, hey, can I use it? And she goes, and this is. And then Ellen comes and she's like.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

She'S looking for it.

[Brian Green]

And she's like, hey, I'm Ellen. And I'm like, hi, Ellen, I'm Jason. And she's like, do we have. Are you a member? And I go, I'm not. I'm just here with my wife on a friends and family. And she's like, let me find your id. And I go, did I say Jason? I meant Brian Green. Because now I'm embarrassed, you know, because I'm lying to her. And she's like, she gets. Oh, here it is, Brian. Okay, great. We don't usually allow people to use the tanning bed when they're on the friends and family pass. But I'll tell you what, why don't you use it? I'll wave it this time. And why don't you come talk to me when you're done we'll talk about your 2026 fitness goals. And I'm like, fuck, I really want to use the tuning bed. I don't want to talk about my fitness goals because I don't have any.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

No, I have none.

[Brian Green]

People are commiserating in the chat about this feeling of being so New Year, new you. So here I am in the tanning bed, and I'm thinking to myself, how do I get out of this? How do I get out of this? So Astrid had left, and she had gone to the store down. Down the. Down the way in the little complex. And so I said, great, I'll be there as soon as I'm done. And then I'm thinking to myself, I'm telling this lady, my wife's waiting for me. I gotta go. She's a bag of groceries. The milk is going bad. I don't know. I'm gonna get it. So I get out of the tanning bed, and then I'm thinking to myself, a lot of. I'm getting dressed. I'm thinking to myself, well, I'm paying X amount for the tanning bed.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I probably should go to the gym every once in a while just to keep up this physique.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Right, right. Just to maintain.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, speaking of David Beckham, like, you know, I look like this naturally, but, you know, you got to put a little weight on it occasionally. So you don't get this dad bod sitting around and eating Dorito. Actually, you do.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You'll get this dad bod making a podcast. Actually, every podcaster has this dad bod. So I say, ok, okay. All right. Astrid wins. I'll go. I'll do the thing. I'll sign up for the shoot.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Good for you.

[Brian Green]

So I go to.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

And the tanning bed was the carrot.

[Brian Green]

Tanning bed was the carrot. Speaking of orange carrot on the cake. So I go up and I say, hey. Hey. Ellen's like, hey, how was the tanning bed? And I'm like, great. I probably read like a shrimp, you know, it's great, wonderful. And she goes, great. Do you have time to talk about your fitness goals now? And I said, let me make this easy for you. You sign me up. Yeah, sign me up. And she's like, great, let's look at the pack. Can you have sit down with me for a minute? And let's look at the packages. And I go, ellen, whatever package. And she's like, the premium gold. And I'm like, sounds great. Does it come with the tanning bed? Is it $80? Less a month than the actual tanning bed. Fantastic. Let's go, Ellen. Get that signed. I'm going to be the easiest sale all day. That's what I say to her. I go, I'll be the easiest sale.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

What's the different package types? Like how much access you have to the whole gym or something?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't know. It's all. It's like 9.99amonth. You can come on Tuesdays between 1 and 3 in the morning.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

You know, it's.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Not the times. It's like there's certain things you can do.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You can get in the classes, you can do the gym.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Go to the relaxing station. You know, you can only go to the relaxing station if you pay more than $30 a month. But still, $30 a month is not bad compared to what I was paying for just tanning bed access. And the truth is, yes, I go to the tanning bed, but I don't go every day. I go once every 10 days. So it's like I' it once or twice a month at most. So I just say, shan, Ellen. Just signon Ellen. Whatever. I'm reading the chat at the same time. So I say, hey, listen, just sign me up for whatever package you got that's got the included in the things and the stuff and same.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Just think the tanning do the same.

[Brian Green]

One as my wife does. Right. And then she's like, okay, this is just going to take a few minutes. Let me take a picture of you.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

You.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, great, let's take the worst picture possible right after. Yeah. And then they have like these TVs, and it's like, new member, welcome, new member Brian.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

And I'm like, fluorescent lights.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Welcome, new member.

[Brian Green]

Welcome, new member Brian. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Badass boning up Brian for his 2026 goals of losing 300 pounds and getting rid of those man titties. Please look at the picture on the screens in front. In front of your treadmill. You can see he needs it more than you do. Brian's signing up for the tanning man. And I'm like, holy, you got to be kidding me. And it's. And then. Okay, okay. And then she goes, I'm gonna be back in a few minutes. Let me go put some information in the computer. Then I'm like, what information could you possibly be putting in the computer? And okay, she goes to the computer. And then she's like, at the computer. And she goes, hey, Brian, I want to introduce you to one of our team members. And I'm like, oh, fuck, here comes the personal trainer.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Green]

And here comes James.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, this is the whole protocol, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

James has a voice like this. Hey, Brad, I was wondering, what's 20, 26 goes on? And I'm like, did that voice come out of you or we playing jokes? You got jokes? Is this joke?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

Is this joke?

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Hey, Brian, I want to talk to you about your 20, 26 goals. What are you doing? Are you just here having fun or are you trying to lose some weight? What are you doing?

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, yeah, I just want to get generally in shape.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Do you have a program you're using or do you follow some methodology or something?

[Brian Green]

I go, yeah. I go, the 666 method.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Oh, yeah, that's popular among old people. I've heard of that. That's for the over 70 crowd. You're gonna do great. Have you ever thought about having a personal session?

[Brian Green]

I go, I saw one one time and it looked like the guy, I'm here for the vitamin D, but it looked like that guy was getting vitamin D. You know what I'm talking about?

[James (Personal Trainer)]

We really like to push it hard. That's the only way to get meet your goals.

[Brian Green]

I'm like, okay, all right, James, well, listen, I like what I'm doing right now, but if, you know, if I ever come back, even though I just signed up, if I ever come back, I'll look you up.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Well, I tell you what, let's just throw you on the calendar. You don't have to go, I just want to put it on your camera.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, what? And he goes, he's got to be his goals. I know. He's got to meet his goals. And he's like. He's like, well, do you think you'd.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Be available next Tuesday around 2:30?

[Brian Green]

I go, no, actually, I don't know when I'm gonna be back. Am I? I don't know. I don't know if I'm ever coming back now.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Well, tell you what, I'm just gonna send you a calendar invite. Can you open it up and say accept? You don't have to show up. Don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be fine.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, yeah, I don't have that email connected to my phone, but as soon as I do, buddy, you're gonna be the next one. What's all you want?

[James (Personal Trainer)]

You want to use our computer to log into Gmail?

[Brian Green]

No.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Why don't you give me the password, I'll log in, I'll accept, and then we'll be good.

[Brian Green]

He's literally chasing me out the door, and I'm like, got to go. The milk is bad. Don't worry about the milk.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Worry about those man tits. That's what you gotta do, dude. That milk's gonna make your ass even flatter. You don't get a physique like this. Not agreeing to meet the personal trainer.

[Brian Green]

All right, James, well, listen, I guess I'll talk to you later, but I gotta go. Thanks for signing me up and scaring me at the same time.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I really appreciate it.

[Brian Green]

Thanks, everybody. I'm gonna feel welcome, new member Brian. Yeah, welcome, new member Brian. Oh, man, oh, man.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That is exactly the. The way that things go.

[Brian Green]

That's the way that things go.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

They always have, always will.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's time shares and gyms. They have the same kind of pressure tactics. They take your ID for a reason so that they can corner you. You cannot leave the door without talking to a salesperson. They have figured this out because. Because it's not like they think you're going to cause, you know, like, steal a treadmill and run out the door. It's unbelievable. Oh, Jenny says to call Frankie B. That's right. Oh, no. Sean says to call Frankie B.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Frankie.

[Brian Green]

Is one of the guys behind the counter. That's the problem, is that Frankie would be all about it. He'd be agreeing with everything these people are saying. Got to get rid of those man contents, Brian. All right. Okay. Yep. We're running way late. Okay, that's okay, though. We're having fun. Let's take a break. And we will be back. We think it's on the calendar now.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I've accepted.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I've accepted.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 238 22. Tell us how Much you love us. And we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Ryan got it wrong, yeah Ryan got it wrong yeah Ryan got it wrong Ye, yeah When would it ever end? Ryan got it wrong, yeah Ryan got it wrong, yeah Ryan got it wrong, yeah when will ever end? Ryan got it wrong, yeah oh, yeah.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

When will it ever end?

[Brian Green]

When will it ever.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

You got it right, though, about the gym.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I did. I got it right. I know.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Spot on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's obnoxious. Really is. I mean, listen, this is why people don't like going to gyms is because they feel super pressured to do that. You know, maybe or maybe not. They want to do, like. I don't. You know, I. When Asher and I first moved out here, we joined LA Fitness. LA Fitness was super difficult about this. Like, they really wanted to rope us into every package that they had, and they were always pitching. But we ended up going with the personal trainer package because we felt like.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I remember when you guys were doing that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And listen, it was fine for a couple of weeks, and then it just got a little obnoxious. And then when I started getting personal trainers that looked worse than I did, then I was like, I'm not sure this makes a lot of sense.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like, when they were, you know, I saw them eating Doritos while I was working out.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Do another squat. Okay. How about a Dorito? How about Sharon? How about sharing your Cinnabon, bud? Okay. All right. Okay, Gotcha. So obnoxious. All right. I hate to talk about the weather again, because the weather, you know, it's not. We're always talking about the weather. This could be it. This could be it.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

This could be Icemageddon.

[Brian Green]

This could be Icemageddon again, because, you know, it's. We are in a situation here in Georgia as anybody who. Florida just got snow. I just saw pictures of Florida Destin. Florida snow on the beach. That's a weird. That's weird to watch the waves, like, lapping up against the snow. But it happens every once in a blue moon. Even Orlando is prone to a snow here and there, like once, twice a decade. Right. In Atlanta, we usually get Snow once or twice a year. Yeah, but it almost, the conditions are almost never right for it to stick around. Yeah, I would say once every five to seven years we get an event that cripples the city for days. And I have learned in my infinite wisdom, be prepared. I was just telling this story to someone the other day as I was talking about maybe this impending weather event which might happen this weekend. We might get ice. And ice is. And this is like meteorologically I just starting to understand this, this. But warm air comes from the Gulf of Mexico, cold air comes from Canada. And so the warm air has lots of moisture. But down here it's, it's warm up here, 32 degrees plus. But it's cold down here, 32 degrees minus. So as it's falling through the air, it turns into ice on anything it hits. Right. It's like a really cold rain that just turns into ice. And those are dangerous because it adds so much weight to trees and power lines. Roads are a fucking hot disaster. And there's no such thing as around the block in Atlanta, Georgia. You have to like go up one hill, down the next turn, left turn, four right, six highways to get anywhere. So I was talking to somebody about this the other day, that during the last ice storm that we experienced, the last bad ice storm that we experienced, I was on a second date with somebody and they ended up staying at my house. Yes, for, for four and a half days until I decided that it was fine to drive. Like no one else in the city was driving, but I decided it was okay to drive. And I slipped and I slid all the way to that girl's house and all the way back. And I was happy to do it because I was just about over it at that point. But you gotta be prepared.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

You do.

[Brian Green]

Like, you do have to be prepared because 1 mile this way or 1 mile that way and things could be drastically different.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah, we're gonna load up tomorrow.

[Brian Green]

We loaded up. We, we called Costco, I called Costco a couple of days and it sounds a little dramatic, but in Atlanta we just don't have the equipment to deal with this and we don't have the streets to deal with it. Like when you have to go up and down hills, around curves, just on every sit. There is a left hand turn in our highway, a left hand turn on our major Highway 75. You go down into the city, you take a left hand turn. You think I'm joking, I'm not. It's called the Grady curve. It is responsible for more accidents than any other highway in America every time. Yeah, it's a terrible terr thing because you can't go 70 mph taking a left hand turn. You just can't. You're going to slide into the next person. And I've been in an accident on the Grady curve. You live here long enough, you get in an accident on the Grady curve. Yes, and that's correct. There is not a single snow tire in Georgia. We don't need them 99.9% of the times. But when it happens, even the snow tires aren't going to save you. So all this to say, Chrissy and I'll be taking off the next four weeks. If you don't hear from us, there's a reason why. No, unfortunately it's happening over the weekend. It could have happened during in the week, like when at least we have an excuse not to do something. It's got to happen over the weekend. Every time it happens over the weekend. Or like you know, at night and then it's gone in the morning and you're like, but this could be it, Chrissy. This could be. This could be the death of us all.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

This could be the one. I know you were talking. At least you guys have a fireplace here. We don't have a fireplace.

[Brian Green]

Get a fire pit.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We do have a fire pit.

[Brian Green]

Oh you do?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We do have a fire pit outside.

[Brian Green]

Get a fire pit and you know.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

But then we go out outside.

[Brian Green]

No, bring it inside. Turn your fan on, everything will be fine.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

So I was looking because the other night Jeff said, well, don't they have, you know. Because I was like, well, all those old space heaters and stuff that you have to plug them in. He's like, don't they have ones with batteries?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

And I try to look and they do not.

[Brian Green]

No. It's too much energy. Those things suck up energy. If they had batteries, they would last for a half an hour and you'd be done. So yeah, you know what you got to do? Get a small, I mean they're probably gone at this point, but maybe you can find some on Amazon. Get a small $150 battery pack. The kind that can like, like actually you can plug in your refrigerator.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

They also have solar powered ones. They're much more expensive, but they have solar powered ones. You can stick them in the sun for six hours. It saves the battery. And then for like six hours you can, like I said, you can plug in your refrigerator. Refrigerator, okay. And you could plug in a small, small space heater on low for maybe an Hour or two just to warm up the room. I mean, you're just gonna have to get warm clothes and blankets.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We've got plenty of all that stuff.

[Brian Green]

But the good news here, at least where I'm at, is that I am off a major road where major power lines run right in front of my house.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So if there is a problem, I am usually pretty quick to get fixed because it supplies the rest of the town. You know, it's going into the town. So for me, I'm like a pri. My. My street is a pr. I have never been without power for more than a couple of hours. I mean, but you never know. If there's ice all over the place, all of us could be fucked.

[James (Personal Trainer)]

Right?

[Brian Green]

So I hope it doesn't happen, but, you know, we'll see. It's also.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Also, nothing could happen.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That's happened.

[Brian Green]

That's. That's why in Georgia, this is how it goes. Ready? I'm Glenn Burns from ABC, WSB TV. Emergency alert. Next Thursday, 12 days from now. We have an idea that it might or might not snow. And then all holy hell breaks loose. And there are lines at the grocery store.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Milk and bread.

[Brian Green]

Milk and bread. Why milk and bread? I have no idea. Can you make a sandwich with milk and bread? What are you making? French toast. I have no idea why people buy milk and bread. But you know what we bought yesterday? Milk and bread. Everybody goes apeshit. Everybody gets all the stuff that they need. And then the wind farts to the left and nothing happens. It snows, but it doesn't stick. It rains, but nothing happens. Nothing freezes. The kids get out of school for four days.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

But there's no reason.

[Brian Green]

There's no. There's no reason. Bone dry, right? But it's, you know, it's going to be a cold rain later on this afternoon, and then we all get stuck in our houses for 12 days because it fucking happening. So everything, everything depends on the fart of the wind. That's just basically how it happens here in Georgia.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That is. That's the truth. We'll see.

[Brian Green]

Of all of the technological advancements that have been made in the last couple of decades, they still cannot predict the weather with any degree of accuracy. In Atlanta, Georgia.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Why is that?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

There's a general.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Probability.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You can predict lottery numbers with chat GPT, but you can't predict if it's going to rain or not. It's literally insane when you think about it.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I do trust Glenn, though.

[Brian Green]

I do trust Glenn. Glenn Burns is the man, if you're going to listen to one weather reporter in town. He is not alarmist. He does not get too crazed. He has a steady hand.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

He's been steady for what, 30 years around here?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's getting old. He's like, in his 90s, maybe longer. 70s. But Glenn Burns, like, if there's a tornado event and there can be here in Atlanta, often tornado warnings and watches and all that stuff like there is across a lot of the country. You want to tune into Glenn because Glenn keeps a steady hand on the wheel. He doesn't get too excited. Right. He tells you what the he tells. He gives you the straight smack, as is also when these weather events happen with winter weather, he keeps a steady hand. And I think every town has that one guy that they trust. And all the other guys are just drama queens looking for clay. They're young bucks, you know. Who's the other guy? Leslie Chesney or whatever his name is. He's too excitable. And then there's the other guy. I don't even know who he is, but he's just a young buck, and he's like, got us. No. Everyone's gonna die right now. Okay, all right. Hurricane is coming. Hurricanes don't come. Stop it. You're being a drama queen. Settle down. I mean, I guess Leslie Chesney is okay, but he's pretty good.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Chesney is the only.

[Brian Green]

Kenny Chesney. Other weather reporter. I'm going to sit around here predicting.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Sun and no shirt, shoes, or problems.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. Leslie's like, hey, don't worry about it. It's all going to be good. Get yourself a six pack of Corona.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Belly up to your. Belly up to your fire pit in the middle of your living room. Burn the furniture. That's what I say. Chrissy, set your bed sheets on fire. You'll be warm. Everything will be fine. I worry about the trees. That's what I worry.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I don't like that. I keep everybody on this side of the house, but that's where the fireplace is, too. So I keep everybody where the fireplace is. But, of course, I haven't used that fireplace in three years.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, God. Be sure it's cleaned out.

[Brian Green]

It's not, but, you know, it'll either get cleaned out when I set things on fire or it won't. I mean, I don't know what I'm gonna do. What is it? What am I gonna do? You know, I can't. I can't call the guy now everyone's getting there. That's the other problem, too, is you need something done. Thank God I got my water heat. Did I tell you about my water heater? No, I didn't even tell you about my water heater. What a disaster that water heater situation ended up being. I had to go two showers in a row with lukewarm. Oh, no. It was a disaster. Two in a row. Two lukewarm showers in a row. Couldn't turn it on hot. Wasn't so cold. It's just body temperature.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Those can make you more cold.

[Brian Green]

They do, yeah. Especially when it's cold out outside because that cold air is just waiting to creep in. An open shower door. I like to cocoon myself, encase myself in hot steam. That's going to cause mold in my house. At one point, hot steam. And then I take. I put the towel over the shower glass so I can pull it down so I don't have to open the door. Because the second I open the door, my little feets get cold. That's right. I.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

I would like to encase myself in steam. And I noticed one night I was like, wow, the water's not very hot. It's not fogging up the glass like it usually does. And that led to a whole series of trips to Home Depot. Home Depot. And thank God that Daniel was here. My father.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Green]

Because I would have just thrown my hands up in the air and borrowed $10,000 to buy a new water heater. But Daniel was like, let. I'll see. I'm not a water guy. He's an electrician, but electrical engineer. I'm not a water guy. I don't know about plumbing, but I know enough to be dangerous. And the breaker was flipping like every time we would. We have an electric water heater.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's 80 gallons. So we will never run out of hot water. If we lose electricity in our house because of an ice storm, we'll have hot water for three days.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Good. Okay, good.

[Brian Green]

So I got that covered. H. So the breaker keeps on flipping. I notice like I lukewarm water. I go out, I look. The breaker keeps on flipping. Next morning, I hear Astrid scream. She's in the shower. Freezing cold water. Freezing cold water. We also have our. One of our daughter's birthdays that night. So Daniel and I go back there, we take off all the things. The bottom, you take. There's two panels on the water heater. Upper element, bottom element, the heating elements. He takes off bottom, both panels. And there's a little fuse box there with a Like a thermometer. You think you could turn up and down the heat and the, the bottom one is fried. It looks like there had been a fire in there. Like it, it was not good situation. And Daniel's like, I, I don't know about this. We took out the element. The element was, was U shaped. It had like exploded, basically. And it had gotten so hot it just melted sideways.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

From your hot showers?

[Brian Green]

From my hot showers, that's right. But then I learned the temperature like between 95 and 105. And apparently you have to keep your water heater at 130 or above to kill off all the bullshit. So it could have been that just sediment was building up on the heating element, allowing it to get hotter and hotter and hotter.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I'm learning while you're talking.

[Brian Green]

I'm learning while I'm. And learning. I learned from him. I don't know this shit. I honestly would have called the plumber $1,000 later. I would have had to get a new water heater. Because when we got into the water, when we were trying to take the heating element out, it took hours. I had to take seven trips to fucking Home Depot. I had talk to that plumbing guy, the plumbing guy at the Home Depot who's, you know, the old coty plumber who now just works weekends at the Home Depot who looks at you and knows that you're a fucking moron. Yes. Like, oh, what is the heating element, though? I was like. And he's like, well, what do you got your A circuit on? And I'm like, Does 4 sound like a right eye answer? 5 far Celsius? I go, yes, Celsius.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

4.

[Brian Green]

What's your B circuit on 6? Fahrenheit? Yes. Wait, you got one on Celsius, one on Fahrenheit? And I go, yes. My wife's Spanish. Part Spanish. We like to keep it on Celsius one. One for one for her, one for me, just in case, you know, I got one element for what? And he's like. And he's like, well, what's the wattage on the circuit? And I'm like, what is the normal wattage on the circuit? He's like, 4,500. And I go, yep, 4,500. And he looks at me like, he's like, and how many gallons? And I go, 80. You running 4,500? 080. And I go, oh, yeah, I think you're running way too few watts of way too many gallons. What are you doing? You got your egg on your bean And I'm like, I'm just looking for this rubber tube.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yeah. Can you help me with this?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, can you help me with this rubber tube?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I need this piece.

[Brian Green]

You don't need that. Where did that come from? I'm here on assignment. I don't know. Meanwhile, all the professional plumbers in the aisle who are like buying shit are all.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Shaking their head.

[Brian Green]

One guy came and gave me his card. He did. He walked over. He's like, if you need help with that, let me know. And I'm like, I got a guy. I got a guy. And he's like, is that guy a plumber?

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

And I go, that's question.

[Brian Green]

Electrical engineer. And he's like, well, if you need my help, let me know. And I'm like, okay. He goes, he said to me I.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Had a sales opportunity.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He goes. He goes, some things you don't want to tool with. Yeah, any tool I don't want to tool with. That's. That's my gig. If I got a tool with something, I'm way in over my head.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

All right. You did fix the disposal.

[Brian Green]

I did fix the disposal. That was my brother who came and replaced that, actually. Let's. Let's call it.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Okay. Yeah, well, I was trying to give you some.

[Brian Green]

Well, thank you. I really appreciate that. But the truth is, I didn't fix that. That either. Okay. All right. There we go. All right.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Never a dull moment.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Jenny says they had their water heater out for three and a half days in cold Colorado. No thanks. I go to a hotel. That's where I go. Astron was. I was being such a baby. She's like, I'll make you a bucket of hot water and you can, you know, do like a. A French horror shower. She's like, you can wash your parts. I was being such a baby. And I'm like, no, I'll just wait for the hot water. Because it. We fixed it like 30 minutes before we were supposed to leave. And it wasn't like I could miss my own daughter's birthday party cuz I didn't have hot water. Yeah. And. But 30 minutes was not long enough to warm up 80 gallons of water. So the water was. I was say that it was less than lukewarm. It was a very cold shower. It felt very cold.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Makes me cold. Cold in here.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's cold in here. What's going on? But by the next morning, all was well. Okay, hot water's fixed. So pray for us here in Georgia. Pray for us.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

We'll keep you posted. If we're here next Tuesday.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, if we make it to work.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Next Tuesday, everything's been okay.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'll make it to work if Chrissy makes it to work next Tuesday. I'm not doing it on my own. I'll come on here and I'll talk to everybody. And look at all these people in the chat.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I get on the chat?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you get on the chat. You check. You can just dial in from your house with no electricity.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yes. I might actually want to come up here if we don't have any electricity.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but if it's. If there's ice, you're. No way you're making it up here.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I know.

[Brian Green]

No way. Thanks, everyone. Everybody in the stream. What a lively chat. Let's do this again on Thursday. Thursday at 1pm okay, Thursday at 1pm Eastern Standard Time. You guys can join us and we'd love to see you. Come join the chat. South Georgia. Sean will give you a nickname.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You can be the moderator. Jenny and Sean, your official moderators. I don't know how you moderate these kind of things, but you know, you'll forget at the commercial break on Instagram to get notified about when we go live. We're also going live on Instagram so you can watch us there, YouTube.com the commercial break and hit us up on instant message on Instagram if you want to talk to us. Also tcbpodcast.com your free sticker. Go to the contact us button. All the audio, all the video. Okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all I could do for today. I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you.

[Chris (Co-host, Chrissy)]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Out there in the podcast and streaming audience. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. I get asked.