The Beanie Break

Summary

The Commercial Break — “The Beanie Break”

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: May 3, 2024

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the wild world of collectibles, with a nostalgic and irreverent look at the 90s Beanie Baby craze. Bryan and Krissy riff on everything from mouth-kissing etiquette among friends to the jaw-dropping values of certain Beanie Babies, all with their signature chaotic, self-deprecating humor. The show weaves through personal anecdotes, pop-culture observations, and a hilarious real-time reaction to old Home Shopping Network footage, ultimately leaving the duo (and listeners) stunned at just how lucrative Beanie Baby collecting could have been.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mouth Kissing Friends Debate

(Starts ~01:20)

• Krissy brings up an ongoing debate in her social circle about whether it’s appropriate to mouth-kiss friends.
• Bryan: Only mouth-kisses family and "very close friends," emphasizing that comfort and context matter (05:44).
• Krissy: Objects to casual mouth-kissing in larger social groups or with "relative strangers," noting the awkwardness and germ risks post-pandemic. Calls for a sort of "mouth-kissing treaty" among friends (07:10).
• Noted cultural differences; references David Beckham’s reported stance on limiting physical affection to his wife, sparking thoughts on affection boundaries (02:42).
• Both agree mouth kisses should be reserved, and more casual greetings (like heart hugs or cheek pecks) are preferable for acquaintances.

Notable Quote:

“Mouth kissing is not something I’m down for with relative strangers. Not relatives that are strangers—a relative stranger.”
—Krissy, [07:12]

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2. Plans for Live Shows in Florida

(Starts ~13:05)

• Bryan and Krissy tease potential live stage shows in Florida, seeking listener interest before booking venues (13:57).
• Joking about the hazards and unpredictability of live events (“blackout drunk, forget to actually show up… equipment doesn’t work, Brian’s wearing no pants…”).
• Remind listeners: these stage hits won’t air as podcast episodes—must see in person!

Notable Quote:

“Florida seems like the natural place where all the crazy people who listen to The Commercial Break might be.”
—Bryan, [13:58]

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3. Nostalgia & 90s Collectible Craze

(Starts ~18:50)

• Krissy notes that online video feeds now showcase bizarre oddities (“a guy milking semen from a moth”), segueing to the irrational hype around collectibles.
• Bryan recounts dabbling in various collecting—baseball cards, Dick Tracy toys, but never struck it rich.
• Both hosts reflect on the feverish atmosphere of the 90s—baseball cards, coins, “get-rich seminars.”

Notable Quote:

“Now I’m currently on Pearl Jam posters that are completely worthless because they made 1 million of them and no one needs them.”
—Bryan, [19:07]

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4. Beanie Babies: Hype, Hysteria, and Irony

(Main Segment Begins ~20:44 – 51:33)

a. The Beanie Baby Craze

• The duo sets up the mania, recalling fights at storefronts and home shopping TV shows pushing Beanie Babies as “retirement” investments.
• Bryan admits he never really understood Beanie Babies, but everyone seemed to have them.
• Krissy: “At one point, Beanie Babies were a craze. People were insane over them!” [21:19]
• They discuss seeing adults buying entire Happy Meals just for the toys.

b. Home Shopping Network Clip Reaction

(Starts ~23:04)

• Bryan and Krissy play and riff on a vintage HSN Beanie Baby sales broadcast:
  • Hosts on the clip are described as “drunk and high as a kite” [24:14], with Bryan and Krissy lampooning their sales tactics.
  • Mock disbelief at the sales pitches: “We’re gonna give you all 40,000 Beanie Babies for nothing. I’m broke as a joke! Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now.” —Bryan channeling HSN, [32:59]
  • Constant jokes about ridiculous “free” offers and limited edition exclusivity.
  • Commentary on how easily people were duped by FOMO and scarcity tactics.

c. Beanie Baby Values: Expectation vs. Reality vs. Double Take

• Initially, the hosts laugh at the absurdity of $2,000 Beanie Baby sets.
• They then look up current values and are genuinely floored by the $10,000–$50,000 selling prices for certain rare Beanies (Princess Diana, Maple Bear, Snort).
  • Krissy: “No way, $15,000 used? Where are my Beanie Babies?!” [43:00]
• Reflect on personal lost opportunities (Bryan’s Dick Tracy collectibles vs. Beanie Baby moguls).
• Copious self-mockery about missing the collectible jackpot:

  “Everything I’ve done has literally turned to poo poo. And everything I haven’t done has literally turned to gold.” —Krissy, [46:06]

d. Modern Parallels: NFTs & Speculative Collecting

• Bryan jokes about missing out on Bitcoin and debates buying up “large swaths of NFTs” while prices are rock-bottom, closing the loop on the perennial “get rich quick” desire.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Rest assured. Nothing says trust me like a guy high on cocaine and Budweiser.”
  —Krissy, [27:50]

• “You know, I’m wondering about how many people were stuck with all these Beanie Babies… and then all of a sudden, the bubble burst.”
  —Bryan, [36:37]

• “Squealer the pig. That’s good old Squealer. I wish I had a Squealer paying $70 and $80!”
  —Krissy, [38:47]

• “Take Snort to your bank, tell them you need to take out a loan on Snort up to a million dollars of credit right there.”
  —Bryan, [40:02]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:20 — Mouth kissing friends debate.
• 13:05 — Live show plans and polling Florida listeners.
• 18:50 — Instagram oddities, transition to collectibles.
• 20:44 — Deep dive on Beanie Baby fad nostalgia.
• 23:04 — HSN Beanie Baby sales pitch riffing and parody.
• 35:17 — [Ad break – skipped per instructions]
• 36:00 — Back to Beanie Baby market speculation.
• 40:25 — Real-time shock at actual Beanie Baby resale values.
• 46:06 — Reflection on missed “get rich quick” collectible moments.
• 51:17 — Questions on how to resell $50,000 Beanie Babies; mind blown.
• 52:29 — Teaser for upcoming Bachelor Nation episode and guest info.

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Tone & Language

The episode bursts with self-aware, improvisational banter and gleeful irreverence. Jokes are fast and often at the hosts’ own expense (“I have no sense of business acumen. Everything I have done has literally turned to poo poo…”). There’s nostalgic warmth, but always undercut by wry skepticism toward trends, FOMO, and manufactured hype. Even as they lampoon the Home Shopping Network and its coked-up Beanie Baby evangelists, their real-time reversal (“We were so wrong about this…”) keeps the show grounded and relatable.

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Final Note

For longtime listeners and new recruits alike, “The Beanie Break” is classic TCB: freewheeling, hilarious, unexpectedly poignant in its hindsight, and unashamedly odd—a giddy reminder that sometimes, it pays to believe the hype (but only if you kept your Beanie Babies mint in box).

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Best To You, Beanie Baby Collectors Everywhere! —Bryan & Krissy

Transcript

[Brian Green]

You know, mayonnaise tastes a whole lot.

Better when there's no nagging rats in.

[Chrissy]

Your ear telling you how disgusting it is. I don't care. I'll eat mayonnaise off anything.

[Brian Green]

I'll eat mayonnaise.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I need mayonnaise off your deck. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

What are you gonna do when Cocka the Cockatoo comes down on you? Are you gonna be out of this? Are you gonna be out of this? We're gonna give you all 40,000 Beanie Babies for nothing. I'm broke as a joke. Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now. Unbelievable.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, boy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Cats and kittens.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Welcome back to the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I'm Brian Green.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

This is the CEO of this podcast. If you're looking for money, Kristen Joy Hoadley.

[Brian Green]

Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian. Don't call me bill collectors.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, we don't have your phone number on the collectors, but this phone, however. Wow, a lot of people ringing me lately.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. All right. Thanks for joining us. Here we are, another best of you out there in the podcast universe. If I forgot to say it, if I did say it, then that's just part of the show, Brian. Constantly it up. How do you feel about mouth kissing friends?

[Brian Green]

I do it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay. There's a big debate that's been going on in my house for a long time about mouth kissing friends.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And there's a big debate that's been going on amongst other friends about mouth kissing friends. Some people say it's appropriate and nice and, you know, it's just a. A kind gesture to someone that you know and that you love.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Other people say it's not the right thing to do. You shouldn't be mouth kissing anybody except for your loved ones. Why do you take the stance that mouth kissing is the appropriate way to address friends?

[Brian Green]

Well, it's not with everybody.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, sure.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But, yeah, ones that I've loved that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That I love. I do a mouth kiss if they're comfortable with it. And I think they are.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sure. I think most people. I think most people are comfortable with my mouth kissing because lip to lip, no tongue. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, you could go that route, but that just makes for a weird dinner. You know what I'm saying? Hey, Rachel, open mouth.

[Brian Green]

Quick kiss.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Well, here's where I think the. The drama comes in. They're not. Not like best friend to best friend, right? Okay, I understand that. I agree with that. Where it gets a little shady, I think, is when it's like randos that you kind of know and they go in for the mouth, because this happens a lot in the.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, you just turn the cheek.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I do.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Because I. I do think there's. Here's. Here's what got me started on all this. I read somewhere that David Beckham does not ever, ever put his arm around another woman. Not for photographs, not nothing. And if you look through his recent birthday photographs, you'll see that at least most of those pictures, it's clear he is not putting his arm around anybody. And his reasoning why Sounded pretty pure. And I thought. I thought it was thoughtful, which is that kind of affection is reserved for my wife. Right. I want her to know and my kids to know that she's the only one in the world that gets that kind of attention. Well, then I assume that David Beckham is not a mouth kisser.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm just gonna throw that out there. He's not a mouth kisser of friends. So this got me thinking about this debate that has been raging is some people in my family, I guess it might be more of an American thing and not necessarily a Venezuelan thing. So some. And I'm not saying Astrid, but some people in my family say that they think it's wholly inappropriate. Right. I don't think so. I think that when you're. You know. I think so on some occasions. And here's what I mean. As a group of friends that we travel in. Right. Nice enough people. They're lovely human beings. I just love all of them to death when I see them. And when I see them is usually once a year at most, you know? Right. Okay. So we're traveling in this group of people, and it seems like the mouth kiss has become the de facto greeting for everybody who ever knew anybody for any reason whatsoever. And I don't think that is appropriate. You don't know me. I don't know you. You've been in the woods for many months now. You're coming out to brush your teeth and take a shower right now. And I'm not sure that the mouth kiss is where I want to go with it. Yeah. Right. So I tend to do, like, the kind of tap hug, you know, I want to. Heart hugs are great, but I'm starting to reserve heart hugs also for people that I know that well enough to give a heart hug to. And, you know, if best friends go in for A mouth kiss every once in a while. I don't get upset about it. It's not. I don't get upset about it. But I do understand why it can be unnerving sometimes, because when I travel in this group of people, when I show up that once a year for the random party, birthday or whatever it is, and everybody goes in for a mouth kiss. Boys, girls, everybody goes in for a mouth kiss. I feel like we just got finished with COVID Yeah. Where it was. We were all pretty clear at one point even handshaking was going to be outlawed. Right. And now you're going in for the mouth kisses. I would appreciate. No. Unless you know me well enough and. And we've spent enough time together that a mouth kiss is appropriate, because it really does feel a little strange when there's, like, a guy that you met one time in 2006 at a party in the woods, tripping high on ayahuasca and fucking, you know, jelly rolling or whatever we were doing. And then you see him again 15 years later, and he's like, hey. And no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Leave your lips somewhere else. I don't know where those lips have been. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know where his lips have been. And I don't think we're comfortable enough to be doing the lip kissing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, I mean, my lip kissing is reserved for family, really only, and then close, very, very close friends that are like family.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, yes. I don't disagree with that approach. What I disagree with is the casual kissing of the mouth that goes on in some circles that we may or may not run it. Do you know. You know what I'm saying? You know where I'm going with this?

[Brian Green]

I do. Well, let them mouth kiss all they want.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I see it all the time. They're all. And I'm like, oh, God damn. You know, one. I went to a thing months ago, I went to a thing, and this is Guy, he's just running around mouth kissing everybody, you know, I know you know him. I know you know, I'm talking about mouth kiss here, mouth kiss there, there, mouth kiss here, mouth kiss everywhere. You know, snuggling into necks, licking ear, you know, the whole nine yards. It's like. It's really weird and strange. And I'm just watching the. I'm watching him work the room like this, and I'm thinking to myself, does anybody else not see him kissing everybody else? As if. As if we need more germs spread around. He's kissing everybody. It's not only the germ thing that, like, if handshaking was giving us Covid, what is mouth kissing doing? It's giving us something much worse. I know. It is like bird flu is transmuting to humans because someone's out there mouth kissing their best friend chicken. You know what I'm saying? And so what I have to say about this, what I'd like to share to the audience is if you meet me and you know, does this need.

[Brian Green]

To go on the treaty?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know. Yeah, it does need to go in the treaty. Yeah. Mouth kissing is not something I'm down for with relative strangers. Now, I don't mean relatives that are strangers. I mean relative strangers. Like, if you're a relative stranger, don't approach me with a mouth kiss. I think we have had to have been in the trenches for some time together. Through good and bad, thick and thin, spent nights opining about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. And in order to get to that stage where I think I would be comfortable in some small way having, like, a peck on the mouth because we're saying hello.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But if I just know you because we threw up in the woods of South Carolina together one time, that doesn't necessarily mean I want to share saliva.

[Brian Green]

Do you know, I agree, like, I'm with you on that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There's lots of ex girlfriends that I. I mean, I shouldn't. But I wouldn't mouth kiss anymore. That's just the thing. Plus, I always feel like there's a level of drug abuse that goes along with that mouth kissing. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, clearly he's been. Someone's been in the bathroom, you know, doing key bumps. That just became a thing. Like, I don't even mouth kiss my own children. That's. But I see it all the time on. On Instagram, and I wonder, wow, that's. That's just a video going around. It's an international snooker tournament. Okay. In London. Snooker pool. Snooker.

[Brian Green]

Oh, right, right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay. So there's a turn snooker championship, which is big over there. Snooker and darts. It's big over in. In England. And so the BBC or somebody is carrying this live, and they're doing an interview with one of the, I guess, people that won. But what's getting attention is in the background, there seems to be a father whole, like, right up behind a boy that I would say is like 11, 12 years old. And he, like, put wraps around the kid's face. Like, imagine he's right behind him, right over his shoulder. He wraps around, he gives the kid kind of a peck on the cheek and then he gives the kid like a little peck on the neck. And then he bites his ear in this weird sexual way. And people are all up in arms about this. They like called the police and said, find this kid and find this person.

[Brian Green]

Police?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I don't, I'm not sure everybody felt comfortable that this was a father. Right. I think some people thought this was just somebody had been kidnapped or something.

[Brian Green]

A biting of the ear is a little strange, but hey, maybe that's what they do in the family.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So I, I see that as wholly holy inappropriate. You shouldn't be licking on your kid's ear. Right. That's not a, that's not like a, that's not the kind of affection I would give my children. Anyway. That's. I don't think that's appropriate at all. But then I see a lot of parents and I know that mouth kissing is like, it's a, it can be a, an affection thing, like you're showing your love for your child. I get it. I'm not completely disagreeing with mouth kissing. I just don't do it. It's just not my thing. It's our, it's our astronaut's general rule. Let's not mouth kiss the children because.

[Brian Green]

You know, well, they're. Yeah, yeah. That are sick a lot too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they're sick a lot. And are we showing them the wrong kind of affection that they should be sharing with other people? Like, is some, are they going to think it's okay coming from someone else? Because then we do it and it just seems a little strange. Like the only people I've mouth kissed in my life are people that I want to bed or best friends. Right. And so I don't think I need to share that with my kids because obviously that's a weird and wrong thing to do. So when you see me that once every decade, I would just appreciate it if you would put the mouth kissing away just for me. Right. You want a heart hug? Let's ask, let's talk about that before. Let's negotiate how that's going to go down, how long it's going to last for. You know what it, what's off limits and on limits, you know what I'm saying? I would like to have, you know, just a little consensual heart hugging or mouth kissing conversation before we do it. If you're someone that I don't know on a regular Basis. And that's all I gotta share. What's that?

[Brian Green]

How do you bring that up?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Don't kiss me on the mouth. You know what I've said before? There was like this party that we went to. I don't think you were there, but this is a party that we went to. And there is. There was this one woman who had denoted to other people in the group, because I heard it, that she thought that, you know, I was cute and attractive and all this. Oh, you should. And the truth was. No, no, no, no, no. Under no circumstances would I have ever dated this woman. Not because she was ugly or anything like that. She's a fine, fine person, but because she was way in outer space. I mean, like, super duper out of space. Yeah, she lived in, like a goat farm. But when I say she lived on a goat farm, she, like, lived in the barn with the goats.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Do you know she was like, I don't know, breastfeeding them or something. There's some weird shit going on, but it was way out there for me. And she's like, you know, dancing around. And one of my friends comes over, hey, just take a look at Sir Sissa. And I said, whatever, you know, fine. And as soon as she spotted me, she cut a rug right through the. Right through the crowd of people and was heading toward me with those lips.

[Brian Green]

Pursed like, come to mama.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And do you know what I did? I literally turned around like I was standing at a bar and I literally turned and faced to the bar and started drinking real fast. And she, like, gave me this, like, weird side hug and she was trying to kiss my mouth and I was like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Brian Green]

Oh, good to see you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hey, yeah, good to see you, too. Great to see you. Listen, remember that time I gave you my phone number? It's changed. And before the end of this night, I'm going to give you the new phone. Can't remember it now, but I'm going to give it to you. So why don't you do me a favor? Open up that phone. Let me. Let me see that contact. Oh, yep. Delete block. You don't want to call that phone number anymore. Let me give you the neck. Let me give you the real phone number. When I figure out what that real phone number is.

[Brian Green]

Right. Well, just like the commercial break, it could have changed quite a bit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We've had seven phone numbers now, mainly because of the mouth kissing is the reason why I had to change the phone number. Lots of people were like, are you up For a mouth kiss. I can meet you if you're up for a mouth kiss. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I wanted to share something and I think this will be interesting to the audience. Chrissy and I are considering. Considering doing some live shows toward the late middle part of the year, like early fall sometime. Chrissy and I are considering doing live shows and we're considering starting in the state of Florida because it's close to there. I can drive there or we can fly there. And because Florida seems like the natural place where all the crazy people listen to the commercial break might be. You know what I'm saying? That's our kind of time. That's our kind of.

[Brian Green]

Exactly.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Why not? And so I just wanted to share that with the audience because I'd like to know if we come to Florida. If you're listening in Florida. If we come to Florida or if you're in one of the close states. I mean, Illinois is not that far of a drive. I mean, if you're in Chicago, it's what, a 17, 18 hour drive? You can make your way down there. 500 plane ticket. Come on. We won't reimburse you, but somebody might, you know, do it for research for your work or whatever.

[Brian Green]

But if we go to a conference.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. If we were to do central Florida or southern Florida, southeast southwest Florida dates, would you show up? I just like to take a poll of the audience. So if you could take the time out of your day today and just send us a text message and let us know if you would be interested in seeing us in Florida specifically, because I think that's where we're going to. That's where, like, you know, it's like it's been floating. Yeah, it's D Day. We're landing on Normandy in Florida.

[Brian Green]

The shores.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Ron Desantis is our special guest. Without platform shoes, I'm going to make them wear socks. But if you're in Florida and you think that's something that you might be interested in doing, we would love to hear from you. Because quite frankly, I don't want to start selling tickets if I don't think anybody's going to show up. It's kind of a scary adventure, huh?

[Brian Green]

It is, yeah. Sometimes you gotta take chances.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. We've never had anybody pay. I mean, we have guests in here, but we're terrified when we show up. So what are we gonna do when we're out there? No, actually, I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.

[Brian Green]

I think so, too. I think we spread our wings I've.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Been thinking about a lot of good ideas and here's one I came up with. You ready? I'll. I'll let it. I'll let the. By the way, these will not be episodes of the commercial break. It will be a live stage show. So. And we're not gonna air these or anything like that, so you gotta show up to the show if you wanna see it. But one of the ideas that I had was blackout drunk, forget to actually show up.

[Brian Green]

That's an option.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Or show up and nothing works. Like the equipment doesn't work, the lighting's all wonky, Brian's wearing no pants. What do you think?

[Brian Green]

I think it's a good start. I think we might need to tweak some things. But which part's a good start?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Blackout drunk or Brian with no pants?

[Brian Green]

All of it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, well, what if I just forget to show up but I'm wearing no pants when I'm still at the hotel.

[Brian Green]

Talk about it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, that sounds good. And listen, this is going to be an early show because Brian goes to bed at 9 o'. Clock. So don't be thinking you're going to be doing the midnight showing of the commercial break anyway. Dates in Florida. Would you come? Would you be interested in coming? We'd love to know. 212-4333. TCB.

[Brian Green]

2124-3823-8421-2433-3822.

You confused everybody.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There's too many threes in there. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. Look at all those threes. It'll be easy to remember. It's not. It's hard. Anyway, text us, let us know if you'd be interested in coming. We're gonna be back. Today is Friday and so that means you're gonna get a video today. A video breakdown with Chrissy and I reviewing some 90s nostalgia and understanding how to value that 90s nostalgia.

[Brian Green]

I like it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And how excited people got over some real crazy bullshit in the 90s, 80s and 90s. All right, we'll be back.

[Chrissy]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at tcb podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, on the break, I just saw the most interesting video. It is a guy who is milking semen from a moth. What?

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know. It was on Instagram. Literally, a guy milking semen from a moth. Because that's what you got to do when you're trying to grow extra moths. Who needs moths? Why are you growing moths? What's up with that? What a weird profession to be in, huh? I'm a. I'm a moth milker. That's what I do. I whack them off. I whack off their little dinglies.

[Brian Green]

Your feed is very different than mine.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My feed is insane. And. And Instagram knows me so well now that it shows me literal, random videos from people. Like, videos that have like one view or two view. And it's really strange, people doing really strange things. And it's not hard to understand why they have so few views. But I mean, it is strange. There's like this guy and he's talking about a doll and where he wants the doll to fart. It's like so many strange things.

[Brian Green]

Listening to that, I was like, what is happening?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, don't ask me either. I don't know. Anyway, moth milking, moth milking. Back in the day, in the 90s when we were kids, there was a lot of craze around memorabilia and collectibles. It's still here today. It just takes on forms. It's always been around. People were collecting tulips at one point. You know, it goes around. I collected Dick Tracy stuff. Now I'm currently on Pearl Jam posters that are completely worthless because they made 1 million of them and no one needs them. There's lots of stuff, you know, and.

[Brian Green]

If you're into something and you collect baseball cards, classics.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I tried to collect baseball cards. I got really into it for like a year of my life. I was, I don't know, 10 or 11 years old. I didn't know the first thing about baseball, but I was always buying those baseball cards, hoping that I would get like a Mickey Mantle rookie. But I. I didn't understand baseball card collecting in any way, shape or form. So I should have known that buying brand new tops cards was not going to yield the Mickey Mantle rookie. And then I would buy the Becks, the Beckham books that had the, like, pricing guide on them. And I got. Was so excited. When anything was over a dollar fifty, I'd be like, look, this card's worth 6.87. You want to buy it? No one wanted to buy it. No one wanted to trade. They all had the same cards. And so I just gave up. Then my grandpa tried to get me into stamp collecting and coin collecting, and I just gave up. I was like, I don't see how this is going to make me rich immediately, which is what I need. So then I just convinced my dad to buy get rich real estate seminars. He let me do it once. That's where Brian's brain was headed. I was like, how's this gonna make me any money? Meanwhile, there's probably a Michael Jordan rookie card somewhere in that stack that I have.

[Brian Green]

Do you still have them?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No. God, no. I threw them away. Yeah, I either threw them away or my mom threw them away. My mom got mad at me one time and threw all my collectibles away. She was like, your closet's a mess. You gotta get rid of all this shit. What is this?

[Brian Green]

Baseball cards and Dick Tracy and Batman posters?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't even know what's going. Like, mom, they're gonna be worth something.

[Brian Green]

No, they're not.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, I'll take your telephone or your collectibles. And I was like, take the collectibles. Who gives a. That's all the chicks on. On the phone. I want to call it 1900 numbers, Mom. But back in the day, there was something called a Beanie Baby. They're still around today. Some of them are still collectible today. Some of them are worth a lot of money. I guess that's what people say. I don't know. I mean, I've never had a Beanie Baby in my life.

[Brian Green]

Maybe randomly, I think we had some when I was younger.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But yeah, I feel like at clear Channel, there were some people who had Beanie babies on their desk.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they did.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like, as if they were going to turn into.

[Brian Green]

Give them something back in their cars.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. So weird. So. But hey, listen, there's a lot of weird stuff to collect, and I'm not here to bash on anybody, but at one point, Beanie babies were a craze. They were insane. People were insane over them. They beat each other up at storefronts and, you know, selling fake beanie babies. It just got crazy. There was whole television shows dedicated to Beanie Baby. Yeah. What I Found online. There are little bits and pieces of this that are running around social media right now. But I found the most of the video is that even the home shopping networks would get in on. They were selling like packs of Beanie Babies that supposedly you could collect and they would make money. The moral of the story, kids, is that most Beanie Babies today are not even worth the cotton that's inside of them or the beans that are inside of them. Because that's always the way it was going to be. There's too many of them. Everybody made them. There's not enough people that are interested in collecting Beanie Babies anymore. Only a few really rare ones I think are worth a lot of money. Now I could be wrong. I'll probably get a Beanie Baby collector texting us telling us how much their collection is worth. But we've actually watched a video about a guy who opened up a Beanie Baby store and he like went bankrupt because he had, you know, 30 so many million Beanie Babies that he couldn't get rid of.

[Brian Green]

He did the, he was part of the Brian method, which was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, by sell low.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And he still hasn't sold them. He's like, like the video was really sad because he's divorced, his kids don't talk to him and he's like sitting in an old rickety house with a bunch of Beanie Babies around him. But listen, anybody can get caught up in this kind of shit. Trust me, it's not that hard to do. But what I would like to do today is review one of the Home Shopping Networks Beanie Babies coverage or one of their segments with a guy who's really excited about selling Beanie Babies. You want to go?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So without further ado, I was trolling on the Internet as you do, as I do like to do. And here's Home Shopping Network. I think this is from 93. And we've got one very excited salesperson. One very excited salesperson. Let's take a listen.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

I don't know how to begin on this. And I'm just going to tell you.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Right now, I think the best Beanie Adam ever. And we go to breakfast especially.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

I mean we're gonna, we're gonna put this up. And once you realize what all's in it, we're putting on music. Robert and I are gone for us tonight.

[Brian Green]

I literally have a, a man sized.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Beanie Baby boner over what we've got in store.

[Brian Green]

These things literally sell themselves.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

If you don't get in on the ground floor of the Beanie Baby action. You're gonna be behind. Sell your house. Remortgage the children. Get you some Beanie Babies. Buy them right now. By the way, look at this set.

[Brian Green]

He's in a pile.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. He's gonna be 150 Beanie Babies.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

It doesn't matter.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

When something's that good and literally sells itself. That's how hot this is.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

I'm gonna tell you. It's. It's.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna tell you.

He's like putting his head in his hands.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. He is drunk and high as a kite. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You had to be to be on these shows.

Japanese foot massager, butterfly sweaters, Christmas pajamas. We have things. Some things just sell themselves.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Guys. People get addicted to this shop at home. This home shopping network. They will literally buy anything that's on there. How do I know that? Because my mom is one of them.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

4 SF 8084 this deal is so good that I. I can hardly wait to read the net tomorrow to hear what people have to read the.

[Brian Green]

What?

Read the Net.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The Internet.

[Brian Green]

He can't wait to get on the net.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's how old this video is. This guy is drunk. I mean, he's drunk. He looks drunk.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Folks. We have literally. There are 28 Beanie Babies in here. When you consider retirement that can literally pay for everything right now.

[Brian Green]

That's your retirement cash in your 401.

Kids. There's a new man in charge with.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What the.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

What's happening with the retired price?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

94 piece beanie says one $999.95. $2,000. Holy shit. That is an insane amount of money to spend on Beanie Babies.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Guarantee you that.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

94 different Beanie Babies.

[Brian Green]

And if we have different Beanie Babies.

Stroke out.

God damn right, Chrissy. Never before have I been so excited about a baby related Beanie predator. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna take a couple minutes off and I'm just gonna have to sell itself.

$2,000 Bitcoin.

Beanie Babies.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Bitcoin.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

We'll put with 14 new releases and with 28 retired. Or we can just put with.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What happened to the music? Like they're playing it on a record player in the background. Someone just hit it. Hey.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Retire. Since the new releases are really no longer new releases. So what that means. Here's what you got. And we're gonna do something special. Is this it right there? We're gonna give you the 400 Maple Bear Free in this package.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Look at that.

[Brian Green]

No way.

400 Maple Bear.

That's right. We'll rub my scrunle sack and call me Ethel. This is insane. $400 for free. It's only $1999.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And we're going to give you the. What?

[Brian Green]

The Bethel bear for free.

Maple.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, the maple bear. The Canadian bear. Yeah.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

We're going to give you the $400 Maple Bear Free. So basically, I want you to understand some, folks. And we're going to go through everything. You're going to get. You are going to get guaranteed. Do you know now? Because we're going to get you, Princess.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And Aaron.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

I see Glory.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Glory's in here. Wait, wait.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I see Glory. Glory's in here.

[Brian Green]

Picking out the ones in the crowd.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

This is insane how crazy people were about these things.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

And again, we haven't even gotten started yet, folks. So you gotta understand what I'm getting ready to tell you.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

They're already selling.

[Brian Green]

I've got an entire eight ball sitting in my pocket. We aren't going off air until it's all done.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

The problem. Are you ready for this, folks? Now here's the problem.

[Brian Green]

Number one.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

We only have a few of these. That I can rest assured. I'm looking at it right here.

[Brian Green]

Rest assured.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Rest assured. Nothing says trust me like a guy high on cocaine and Budweiser. Yeah. The rest assured.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

According to this. Am I reading this right? We have 32? That's right, folks. If we're going to double check on that, we may only have. I believe that we may only have 32 of these.

[Brian Green]

These guys are the worst pitch men.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

In the history of Home Shopping Network.

[Brian Green]

They only have 32 of them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's $64,000 those guys are about to make. It's insane. No. $640,000. Let me do the math real quick. What, what am I thinking? 2,034. No. $68,000. Yeah, right.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Retirement is coming up either September 1st or October 1st. We've been hearing rumors of all the way around the board.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Who are you hearing those rumors from? Who exactly around the board? Was there a TMZ on the net for Beanie Babies?

[Brian Green]

There was.

They're gonna retire them around the board.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Every single thing that retires. The only one that wouldn't retire would be the only. There's only one Beanie Baby that's not in here. That's.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And.

[Brian Green]

And it currently has a hole in its bum. It's behind stage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A little slippery.

[Brian Green]

I have been fucking these Beanie Babies for months. And I'm telling You what? Old Glory and Canada Bear. They're. They're the best.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Possibly retired. That's Britannia, and it is not going to be retired. It's a, you know, it's a current Beanie Baby from this year and it's $1,000 by itself, and it's not going to be retired. So here's the deal.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, great. Nothing makes the prices rise like making more of them.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Ready? You are going to get every single current American Beanie baby release. That's 65. You're up to speed right there.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Like that.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

65.

[Brian Green]

This guy quick get up to speed with the Beanie Baby.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

His cousin just likes to jump in.

[Brian Green]

And be like, up to speed just like that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Meanwhile, there's some grandma at home.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

Hello, this is Judy from Toronto and I need to get up to speed just like that. I wasn't into Beanie Babies until this incredibly coked up man came on TV and started yelling at me. It's my new retirement. I cashed in my 401k and now I'd like to buy all 32 of them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think they probably sold 32.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Yeah, current beanie Babies. Actually, that's wrong. We're gonna throw in the Maple. That was only released in Canada. That's a 400 beanie bag.

[Brian Green]

We already talked about it.

He loves that maple.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He loves that maple. He's looking at it sideways.

[Brian Green]

He's like, can I mouth kiss you in a friendly way.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Itself.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

By itself. We sell them out at 399.95 by itself. Right now we are going to give you this one. Are you ready for this? That's 66 current Beanie Babies, including Maple Princess Aaron. Peace.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Why is he so excited?

[Brian Green]

Oh, they're yelling. There's another channel that does this too. Currently. It's that Cutlery Corner.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, Cutlery Corner is crazy.

[Brian Green]

It's so crazy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I've seen Instagram. Yeah, I've seen Instagram posts of people just going crazy over Cutlery Corner.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

Glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, ho.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's so excited. I love it.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Every currently Fortune rocket, the Blue jay, all the 14 new releases.

[Brian Green]

All the 14.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Why is the owl, which you know is getting ready to be retired, but anyway, Drake, deduct. What is it? Stinger of the Scorpion.

[Brian Green]

I'm impressed that he knows all these.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I am too.

[Brian Green]

Like, as he's just looking at them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

This guy reeks of desperation. He's got 32. Let's see how many he's got. He's got about 32,000 Beanie Babies he needs to get rid of quick. Yeah.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Eater Early. The Robin. Cuckoo. The cuckoo Whisper. The deer Curse Master.

[Brian Green]

He should have his own.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he should.

[Brian Green]

The bastard hound.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

The golden retriever. All the 14 new releases.

[Brian Green]

Jabber the parrot.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Plus every current Beanie Baby that there is in America. Every single current Beanie Baby in America. And then here's the part that is unreal, folks. Here's another.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Here comes.

[Brian Green]

Here comes the drop 65 merch drop current.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

And when you put in Maple 66 current, you're. You're over it. Maple, we're gonna give you all 28.

[Brian Green]

Of a main retired Beanie Baby.

He's like a WWE announcer.

What are you gonna do when Cocka the Cockatoo comes down on you? Are you gonna be in on this? You're gonna be out of this. We're gonna give you all 40,000 Beanie Babies for nothing. I'm broke as a joke. Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Unbelievable that at 5.9.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is that right?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Originally, we sold it out one time at five.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Today, we would have to sell 28 May retireds for around 1699.

[Brian Green]

God, the money in these things was crazy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Unbelievable. They are literally shitty little stuffed animals with beans that can kill your child in the middle of them. Even Blue agrees. It's not fun. It's not funny.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Voted on almost everybody around 6, 600, though, didn't we?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Oh, the first time we did.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

First time we did it, we still 600. We could sell 1 billion of them.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

You said maple at 400.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

1 billion.

[Brian Green]

1 billion. I think I was overestimating.

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Even during the craze, how many people really wanted those Beanie Babies? Yeah. Maple, by the way, Maple is a bear that looks like every other Beanie Baby with a tiny little Canadian flag on its chest.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

14. 7.99.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

We sold the 14 new releases at 7 at 7.99.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And the 28 retires at 5.99. You are getting 600. Everybody else, 5.99.

[Brian Green]

That's $600.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, it's 5.99.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Okay, that's. That's 28 and 14. 42, 43, 4, 5, 6. You're getting almost 50 beanies absolutely free.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Absolutely free. Absolutely, absolutely free, folks.

[Brian Green]

And here's the thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's. They're not absolutely free.

[Brian Green]

You're paying $2,000 for them. Why they keep on saying free? It's not free.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You have to pay 19, 99, 95.

[Brian Green]

This is how they get you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Grandma at home thinks you know. Oh, my God. They're giving all these for free.

[Brian Green]

I just have to pay the $2,000.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I get all these for free.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

You break it down.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

$21.27. I'm ahead of you.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brian Green]

I'm feeling ill. I can't believe we're giving these away. It's such a discount. It's incredible.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right, let's do this. Let's take a break, and then we'll be back with the more hot Beanie Baby action, including Girth Master. The new job coming up soon.

[Chrissy]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break, and then follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Done.

[Chrissy]

Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-4333, TCB. Or if you've got the some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-4333, TCV. And don't forget to check out TCVpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right, Back with more Beanie Baby craziness. This is hard to believe that people would pay $2,000 for 90 of these little toys that you can buy for, like, $1.99 at any fucking gas station.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Think about this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Send them in.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Think about this right now. $21 a piece.

[Brian Green]

I want you to think about this when you're thinking about your retirement. Down on the beach in a beautiful condo in Florida, drinking Tinarinis all day long with your best friend, smoking a cigar. What goes better with all those things than 94 beanie babies surrounding you in lawn chairs? Because you will not be able to sell them.

I know. I'm wondering, thinking about how many people were stuck with all these Beanie Babies and they were gonna, you know, keep going up in price. And then all of a sudden, the bubble burst.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Everybody, everybody got stuck with their Beanie babies when the 2000s rolled around because no one gave a shit. No one gave a shit in the first place. What happened was people got it in their heads that these things, the ones that, you know, they didn't make a lot of, where all of a sudden going to be. So there's going to be such an insane market value in these things.

[Brian Green]

And there were, for some people that actually sold them I just read that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There is a Beanie Baby. The Princess Diana Beanie Baby.

[Brian Green]

That was the most rare.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Is still worth about 50 grand in pristine condition. Yeah, 50 grand, that's great. But guess what? All of these are worth shit. They're worth shit.

[Brian Green]

Maple.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Now you could buy 94 of these for 180 bucks. Just go to a gas station. But by the whole rack of them. You see them, they're spin around. The kids like them, right? Just buy the rack, put it in the back of your car and you know, maybe someday they'll be worth something.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

You're getting 28 retired mini babies. Listen to this.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Blue needs to be a Beanie Baby.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh God, I wish Blue was a Beanie Baby. She'd be a lot. She'd be a lot less annoying.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Make sure I've got them.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Zip the Cat is now bringing over 100 and it just retired in May. Zip the cat over $100. You got peanut, the elephant pinchers, the lobster. One of the original night, one of.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The original nine pins. I mean, this grown man.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. I was thinking about that too. How hard it must have been for him to get so excited about.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Either that or he is so invested. Because you know, he might be the guy who's actually owns these things, right? He's so invested, he has to convince you to also get invest it and buy them at a profit or he's going to be stuck with them. And this is how the craziness starts. Grandma turns on TV or whoever turns on TV sees this guy all excited about him and says, hey, it must be a good investment. This guy's crazed over them.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Floppy. He's a ladybug. Squeal of the Pig. Another one of the original nights.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Squealer the pig. That's good old Squealer. I wish I had a squealer paying 70 and $80.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

In fact, almost all 28 of the retired bring a minimum of $50 a piece.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, they're running on the top.

[Brian Green]

They're running a crawler of the Beanie Babies that are for sale.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And smoochie. Snip, Snort, Spike, snort. I think he accidentally put that one in there. I think Snort is the host. I think that's what he does. Spike, spinner, Spunky, stinky Spunky. Spunky.

[Chrissy]

Really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's like a sperm shaped Beanie Baby minimum.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

If you want to save bet. One guy that's going to retire in here for sure and I can't see him right now is Chocolate the Moose, he's the only one in the original nine that's still current.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Here he is.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

He's gone in October.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

I'll tell you something else too. Snort the Bull gonna be gone.

[Brian Green]

Storm's gonna be gone. No more snorts. Snorts out of the table. If you don't get your hands on a snort right now, you are literally missing out on a chance to make me make millions.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yay.

[Brian Green]

Billions of dollars. I know people right now retired in Mexico because they bought Snort three years ago.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Take Snort to your bank, tell them.

[Brian Green]

You need to take out a loan on Snort up to a million dollars.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Of credit right there. That's what I'm saying to you. Anything.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

They retire in October. You've got.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

You know what? You got it. We're forgetting we're making moot points. It doesn't matter. They're going to do a retirement either. September, October, rumor has it they're going to retire. I've heard this, that there's a possibility that something could happen September 1st with the Princess Bear.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What is this guy doing with his life? He's literally trolling the quote unquote net to look for rumors about what's going to be retired. Because clearly once they're retired, then they. They shoot up millions of dollars in value, each one of them. And he knows it. He is. First of all, I think it's highly disingenuous to be speculating like this about what's going to happen. You know what I'm saying? He' artificially inflating the value right there live on tv.

[Brian Green]

That's how you sell.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, exactly. And second of all, what does it matter if they retire Snort the Bull. Is he really going to raise in value? They just said one of them retired nine months ago and he's up a hundred dollars in value. $100.

[Brian Green]

Look it up.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

We're hearing that everywhere. Do you know if that retires?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, let's see. What. Snort the Bull. You see what? Snort the Bull. And I'm going to.

[Brian Green]

Maple.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, I'll see what. Maple. Maple the beanie baby. Worth value. Holy shit. Well, we are so eating crow right now. God damn, this guy was right. He was way right.

[Brian Green]

Well, how much is Maple worth?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There is one going on Etsy right now. Used. Used. Are you ready for this? It's already been opened, but it comes back in the box. So the box has been torn open, but they put it back in the box. It is being sold for $14,000. But that's not even. That's not even the best of it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, listen to snort.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Tell me how much snort is worth.

[Brian Green]

You're gonna freak out.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No way.

[Brian Green]

$49,500.

No, no, no, no fucking way.

Yeah. That's a rare one.

$50,000.

Yes. The other one's. The other one is 18 too. I mean, I'm shocked.

I will never make fun of this guy again.

Shocked.

Where is he? I need him to be my investment advisor. I need a good accountant. What in the fuck?

I can't even believe it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chrissy, that maple in brand new condition is worth $30,000. 30,000. Let's see the other ones. There's some names up there. Squeaker. Let's see what Squeaker is worth. Squeaker the Beanie Baby value. No.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no. $15,000 used.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

15.

[Brian Green]

Where are my Beanie Babies?

The original nine. Those are the most valuable ones that he's talking about on there. Damn it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

Well, here we are making fun of it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, there's a phone number on the bottom. You think it's still live? You think I could still get in on the deal? Original nine Beanie Babies value. Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

Princess the bear is right up there. Valentino. I just saw that one. This, this was a. This was a good set to get.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Patty.

[Brian Green]

That would have paid back itself just from one of them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Just one of them would have paid back 8 times 800x.

[Brian Green]

Damn.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

8X. I'm sorry. 9800x 8x. Patty the Platypus, one of the original nine used on Etsy right now selling from a five star seller for $25,000. Now I sound like this guy. This is unbelievable. Okay, that's it. This show is now called the Beanie Break. Anybody got any beanies they want to sell? I'll take a commission. We can talk about them on air. This is insane. Now let's see.

[Brian Green]

No, but the, the crazy thing is that the Walmart is selling Snorth or bear for $8.49.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But it's not an original.

[Brian Green]

But yeah, the original etsy from a five star seller. Again, it's 49, $500 figure.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

Because I guess there was some kind of error. Like it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It.

[Brian Green]

This is on Etsy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God. You want to know what the Dick Tracy collectible figurines are going for?

[Brian Green]

What?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

$67 for all 14. Well, here's one. 195 for one particular one. Not the one you had $300 for all of the cards. Which I did have a vintage dictator. Yeah, see here, I was. You Know when I worked at McDonald's, when they were giving away Beanie Babies, when they were putting them into the McDonald's Happy Meals, the Beanie Babies. And I thought. And people would go fucking crazy.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah, no, they would swarm and be out there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, there were camping out. The rule was you could not just buy a toy that was out of. They changed that at some point. But with the Beanie Babies you could not just outright buy the toy. You had to buy the Happy Meal, the whole thing. There were grown ass men and women who would come into that store and buy 20 hamburger Happy Meals and literally throw away the box, or not the box, but anything that was inside of the boxes grabbed and just grabbed the Beanie Baby. That was it. And I thought, what a bunch of fucking losers.

[Brian Green]

Now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Meanwhile, I have a closet full of Dick tracy stuff worth $165. Toad Hole. And one of these Beanie Babies is worth $50,000. Yeah. What the fuck was I thinking? I am so bad at it. Like just. I just need to stay on the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Sense of business acumen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I have no sense of business acumen. Everything I have done has literally turned to poo poo. And everything I haven't done is literally turned to gold. Altcoin. Bitcoin was the only thing that I got right. And then I got out when it dropped because I, I said that's it. I got out right before it dropped and I was like, that's it. Never getting into it again. Clearly a scam. And now it's higher than it ever was before. Had I stayed in, I would have been twice as rich. Unbelievable. Brian, you're an idiot. You're such an idiot. Maybe we ought to buy NFTs. Because I have personally said for a long time right now they're, they're very low. Yeah, they're like. I thought Beanie Babies were, you know, like a dollar. We should just go buying up large swaths. You know, if we had any money, we should get someone to loan us money so we can buy a large swaths of NFTs. That's it. Done deal.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

That bear alone will cover the price of everything.

[Brian Green]

Well, he's correct.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Price of everything.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

You know, August 31st, the day that we lost her, that's when this bear was, was, you know, literally born.

[Brian Green]

So literally born.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, now you're taking it too far, bro. It's not born, it's sewed together in some shop in China. Oh.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

That'S what's gonna happen on the Princess Bear. Or they're gonna make a whole.

[Brian Green]

The Princess bear. That's like one of the ones that's the very, very.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The Princess Die Bear. Specifically.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Find out what a Princess bear.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I thought I saw $50,000, but now I'm believing that it might be Princess Die Beanie Baby worth. Oh, my God. $50,000. Used. 50 grand used. Well, now I don't feel so great about this video because now I feel like, you know, I'm trying to have fun with something that clearly worked out in everybody's favor, including this guy. Yeah. Just. Just on his set right now. He's probably got a million dollars worth of Beanie Babies. He's got the original nine. He's got the Princess, he's got the Canada one, each of which is worth tens of thousands of dollars. There's a hundred there. He's got to have million dollars worth of bears sitting on that table right now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

$1 a piece. Would you not pay 21 for every one of the new releases?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Well, yes.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I would.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Send them to me.

[Brian Green]

Give them to me now.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We sold them out at 7.99.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

I know it.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

21 times plus 240.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

What's 21 times?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, man.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

250. How many could have sold at 250?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

We don't have enough.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We couldn't buy.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

They don't make enough. They don't make enough. Do you?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Maple.

[Brian Green]

$400 maples. $40,000.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Bro.

[Brian Green]

Let me take you into the future. I would happily pay 400 for a maple right now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I am so in on beating babies. I'm gonna start collecting immediately.

[Brian Green]

Immediately.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

If you call right now, you're guaranteed the Maple Bear. Every time you order, you are guaranteed.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's all these original ones.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Really worth it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wow. Unbelievable. God damn. Were we wrong about this? So wrong about it. I saw the Princess Daiwon and I saw that was 50, 000. But I also knew it was. I also knew from other videos I had watched that it was the rare. Right. The very rare one.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

One time you order, you are guaranteed 94 different Beanie Babies.

[Brian Green]

I mean, he's correct. You could have retired.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You could have retired if. If you were 50 or 40 at the time when this came out and you kept these long enough, you would have a million dollars in your pocket right now. You would be able to retire, and a nice retirement at that. I don't have $10 in my retirement account.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Deal is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But if I only had Beanie Babies in my safe, because I'm sure I had some Somewhere. Not me specifically, but they were in the house somewhere. God damn, Brian. Such an idiot. Such a moron. This is gonna make me go to sleep feeling even worse about myself.

[Brian Green]

Honestly.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I need an extra therapy appointment after.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

This episode, no matter what retires. You got it.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

You got it.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

It doesn't matter.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

At 21, probably for two or three retirements.

[Home Shopping Network Salesperson]

Three retirements. You have every single. Every single, single Beanie Baby that retires. You have. Look at right there. Look at what just happened. Someone just is verifying on five sets, and you want to know something? If you can afford it, buy it.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So this guy spent $10,000, and they're worth. Yeah, $5 million right now. Find me that guy. We need to buddy up to him, because clearly he knows what the is going on, and we have no goddamn clue. So this is insane. Can you believe it?

[Brian Green]

I cannot.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I cannot believe it either. It is literally beyond my comprehension how some stuffed little pieces of cloth are worth $50,000 a piece. But I ain't arguing how you get your bag. And I'm really happy for anybody that has these. Can you please call up and donate some to the commercial break? Because we would love to all of a sudden get into Beanie Baby collecting. The beanie break will be back tomorrow with more information. Well, on Wednesday, but you get what I'm saying.

[Brian Green]

The thing about it is, though, is if you buy, like, say I spent $50,000 on that one Beanie Baby that it's selling on Etsy, then how. I mean, how would you resell? Like, how you would just. You would just want it for your own personal collection? I don't know. Your mind's blown.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My mind is blown. My mind is blown. Unbelievable. Crazy. All right, go. Go check out Leslie. Leah, I'm just, like, beyond myself. I'm, like, in a different universe right now. I can't even think. I'm just thinking about all the opportunities I missed to grab beanie babies at McDonald's and gas stations and everywhere around the world. I could have been rich. Rich. I'm rich. All right. Thanks to Leslie the owl from coming on the show this week. Please, please, please check her out on her Netflix special. Go to lesleyow.com if you want to take tickets to her current tour. Give her some support. Show her some love. She's all over the place. Like, every guest that shows up on our show, she's gonna turn hot directly after she shows up on our show. And then next week, a very special episode is the commercial break as we drive into Bachelor Nation. Bachelor Nation, Chris. Bachelor nation. You want to know why?

[Brian Green]

Why?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Because I think, oh, no, I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that right now. I'll say that at a different time next week. We have a great guest, too. I'm not gonna say it quite yet, but just know that at some point we're venturing into bachelor nation and you're gonna be really happy with who we chosen to ease us into bachelor nation. Okay. I'd also like you to go to tcbpodcast.com all the information is there, the video, the audio, more about Chrissy and I get your your free TCB bumper sticker by going to the website. Hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we'll send it right to you. 212-433-TCB. That's 212-433-TCB. Dial us up. Let us know if you want to go to the Florida shows. If you're interested in seeing some shows in central and south Florida. We're thinking about it. We just want to know if you'd be interested in coming. Also questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, and if you want to be on the show, dial us up. Send us a text at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the interviews and selected episodes. All right, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Brian Green]

I think so.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Brian Green]

I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'll say best to you, best to you beanie bad best you beanie baby collectors out there. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must day.

[Brian Green]

Goodbye.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Bye.

[Brian Green]

I get asked.