The Legend of Willy

Summary

The Commercial Break – "The Legend of Willy"

Release Date: April 4, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Hly (Krissy)
Main Theme:
A classic “TCB” dose of irreverent, improv-laden banter, this episode blends chaotic catch-up with a laugh-out-loud, scene-by-scene roast/review of “Mountain Monsters: The Mothman”—fulfilling a dedicated listener’s request. Along the way, Bryan and Krissy riff on cold plunges, awkward spa encounters, European toplessness, and the questionable logic of cryptid hunters.

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Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy open with tongue-in-cheek life updates and segue into an extended, uproarious recount of a “Mountain Monsters” episode centered on the Mothman sightings in Mason County. The pair lampoon the show's low-budget cryptid hunting, its cast of unique characters, and the folklore-tinged “Legend of Mothman.” They also humorously reflect on spa trends (cold plunges vs. hot showers), Americans abroad, and awkward public nudity.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Life’s a Mess—You’re Not Alone

(00:00–01:13)

• Bryan assures listeners humorously:

  "I pulled the three people I know, and no one's having a good time. ... Mercury is doing like the renegade again. So go to sleep. Try again in a couple weeks.” (00:00)

• Both hosts joke about the show’s “conspiracy” of shirt rotation and how it reveals hidden podcast lore. (01:13)

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2. Cold Plunge: Wim Hof Wannabes and Showers of Doom

(01:13–05:07)

• Bryan details a friend’s obsession with cold plunges and admits his own failures:

  “There is just something about it that makes my body go haywire... The only time I like cold water is when I'm drinking it.” (04:27)

• Krissy adds ancient context:

  “Romans have been doing that for a long time... a whole regimen series: steam, then cold shower, then a marble bench.” (05:17)

• Both agree their default is “hot shower only.”

  “I would like to be in a state of relaxation, not a state of sheer panic.” – Bryan (05:01)

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3. Tales from Topless Spanish Spas

(05:31–14:16)

• Bryan recounts a trip to a clothing-optional Valencia spa with his wife, Astrid.
• Culture clash: He and Astrid remain nearly fully clothed as Euro guests freely disrobe.

  “We basically walk in with... a wetsuit on, fully dressed from top to bottom. A heated wetsuit!” (08:20)

• An extended, genuinely funny aside about an “unusual” boob job:

  “It was like a boob on top of a boob on top of a boob. It was like a triple layer boob cake!” (11:03)

• Krissy and Bryan commiserate about staring etiquette, awkwardness, and feeling out of place.

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4. Cold Plunge—The People Who Can Actually Do It

(13:34–14:16)

• The spa story wraps with awe:

  “Those girls must have been in that cold pool...10 minutes. How do you do that?...You get hypothermia in minutes.” (13:35–13:45)

• Brief discussion of the Wim Hof breathing technique and skepticism over health claims.

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5. Bryan’s (Mis)Adventures With Morning Routines, Starbucks, and Public Paranoia

(14:16–19:45)

• Bryan admits to rushed mornings, splashing cold water on his face:

  “Even that takes my breath.” (15:54)

• Paranoid about “looking like hell” at Starbucks:

  “People are still looking at me weird up there… He’s a cokehead, so let’s just, let’s not get too attached to him.” (15:58–16:08)

• Reminisces about calling out a tip jar thief at Caribou Coffee, amazed at staff forgiveness:

  “They were so gracious. They were like, well, he must have needed it. I wish I could be that mature about anything.” (18:24)

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6. Therapy, Podcasting, and Being a Perpetual Case Study

(18:46–20:04)

• Comedy about his therapist being a fan and possibly using him for years of clinical study:

  “It’s the worst hour of the week… but I can count on that... As long as he’s doing that commercial break, I’m in the money!” (19:45)

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7. Fan Requests, “Mountain Monsters,” and the Lore of Willy

(20:04–24:09)

• Listener Kaden requests a “Mountain Monsters” breakdown; Bryan excitedly obliges:

  “We’re all going to go in hard. We’re going to go in raw, dogging mountain monsters. Mothman. Okay, here we go.” (24:09)

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8. Scene-by-Scene Roast: “Mountain Monsters: The Mothman”

(24:09–54:10)

Key Segments & Quotes:

• Setting the Scene

  “We’re in Mason county, which I just made up...right here behind the Walmart.” – Bryan (24:14)

• Mothman’s Alleged Powers

  “He hypnotizes people. You’re white as a sheep, Buck.” – Mountain Monsters, lampooned by hosts (24:51 & 26:06)
  “I one time got hypnotized by the guy...at the Renaissance Fair...walked around like a chicken with my pants off.” – Bryan as a monster hunter (25:25)

• Comic Take on Buck Passing Out

  “That Baconator's coming back up on me, boys! ... He really went down. Wow. That...almost doesn’t look fake.” – Bryan (26:21–26:54)

• Questionable Emergency Protocol

  “You just passed out, and at your size, you probably had a heart attack or a stroke. But let me not dither. Let me ask if you’re okay.” – Bryan (27:30) “Let me get a Red Bull and a couple Honey Buns. We’ll get him back up.” (28:00)

• Friendship Among Monster Hunters

  “No, they really do love each other… like little friends. There’s a little group of friends running after Mothman out there.” – Bryan (28:24)

• Trap-Building Absurdity

  “He came in contact with nuclear waste and he became a mountain monster. I’m so glad things turned out for you!” – Bryan on ‘Willy’ (33:56) “What does Jap Jap mean?” “Giant…he said giant.” – Bryan and Krissy on Mountain Monster-speak (35:56) “I’ve got this extremely dangerous high voltage lightning box we’re going to put right under the high powered transmission lines.” – Bryan (36:31)

• Mountain Monsters' Methodology

  “I’ve rewired up my bug zapper at the house a time or two to catch these moths…Who does that? Pretty sure people on crystal meth like to do that…” – Bryan (38:05–38:12)

• Low-Stakes Bridge Investigations

  “There’s a reason why it literally has no road anymore…It’s two pieces of iron swung across a creek…no bigger than six feet across.” – Bryan (47:00) “If you could teleport, that’s a different story…Chrissy, you’re not thinking about this correctly in scientific terms.” – Bryan (47:32)

• Mothman Witness Interrogation

  “The guy they’re talking to has sunglasses…and his mouth is wide open…nodding his head and then shaking it…he’s just along for the ride.” – Bryan (45:52) “The bridge wasn’t right...I’ve never seen the mountain monsters discount a story like this...” (51:13) “I just really believe that he’d seen a…an owl.” – Mountain Monsters (51:46)
  “This guy’s like, I’ve been doing ketamine therapy after I saw that Mothman. Now you’re telling me it was an owl? Wow.” – Bryan (51:57)

• Meta-Podcast Reflection

  “This is why we spent 15 minutes of this episode talking about him—because he didn’t really actually tell the truth, facts, or research.” – Bryan (49:58–50:05)

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9. Wrap-Up, Listener Participation, and Tease of Part Two

(54:10–End)

• Bryan teases a future follow-up:

  “We got to find out if they actually see the Mothman. Here’s a little hint. They don’t, but you know.” (54:19)

• Ponders whether the show’s witness was an actor or just “Walmart produce section talent”:

  “For $20 and a case of Mountain Dew, ‘I did.’” (54:57)

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Notable Quotes

• Bryan Green:

  • “It was like a boob on top of a boob on top of a boob. It was like a triple layer boob cake!” (11:03)
  • “We’re going to go in hard. We’re going to go in raw, dogging mountain monsters. Mothman.” (24:09)
  • “I got two big glowing eyes. Look like headlights about a mile away, first of all.” (43:09)
  • “This is why we spent 15 minutes of this episode talking about him…” (49:58)

• Kristen Joy Hly:

  • “I like to do a cool…a spritz.” (14:16)
  • “That was just a pre-launch party.” (on the initial Mothman adventure) (32:00)
  • “It’s like the commercial break.” (on pseudo-research and fact-checking) (50:09)

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Timestamp Guide to Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------|-------------| | Life update intro/mercury rant | 00:00–01:13 | | Cold plunge debate | 01:13–05:07 | | Spa stories & toplessness | 05:31–14:16 | | Splashing cold water/Starbucks | 14:16–19:45 | | Therapy, podcast as case study | 18:46–20:04 | | Fan request intro | 20:04–24:09 | | Mountain Monsters roast begins | 24:09 | | Buck passes out | 26:53 | | Build-a-trap absurdity | 33:39–37:17 | | Mothman witness interrogation | 44:32–52:13 | | Tease of next episode | 54:10–end |

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Self-deprecating, chaotic, and joyfully unfiltered.
• Ongoing improvisation, banter, and satirical summary.
• Inside-jokey vibe—but accessible for new listeners with a strong focus on pop-culture absurdity and low-stakes “research.”

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For Newcomers

This episode is basically “two friends hilariously ragging on a goofy cryptid show,” weaving in personal stories and running gags. You don’t need to know “Mountain Monsters” or the Mothman legend—Bryan and Krissy paint the weird picture for you, finding laughs in every crevice of country logic, reality TV production, and human awkwardness.

Listener Note:
Ads and call-to-action bumps were skipped in this summary; the heart of this episode is pure riffing and shameless fun. No cryptids or bug zappers were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Don't worry, everyone. I pulled the three people I know, and no one's having a good time. No one's doing well. So if you're not doing well, don't worry. Everyone else I know also isn't. I think Mercury is doing like the renegade again. So go to sleep. Try again in a couple weeks. On this episode of the commercial break, my rat grew up to be a mountain monster. You did it, Willy. You did it. You survived the legend, the legend of Willy, now a trap builder for the mountain monsters.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

It makes total sense.

[Brian Green]

It makes total sense. Oh, I love this. He went down into the sewers, freed Willie and Li.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Willie, he became.

[Brian Green]

He went down into the sewers. Yeah. He came in contact with nuclear waste and he became a mountain monster. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The 30 in the morning. Oh, yeah. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the pop to my tart, Kristen Joy Hly. Best to you, Chris.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks a whole lot for joining us. We certainly do appreciate it. Both of you.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

We're betting on it.

[Brian Green]

Both of you. We've bet on it. We bet on it. Now you can string those episodes together depending on which shirts Chrissy and I wear, and then you'll know the real truth behind the commercial break. You want a conspiracy theory? Dig into that one. Why are there so many shirts on the commercial break but there aren't? There's only four. And if you tie them all together, all the ones where we wear the same shirts, it makes one long episode, a number. Four long episodes that you can listen to at your leisure. Please do. Cold plunges. Oh, I've been having friends that have been trying to get me to do this for years. One particular friend who I know you know. Yes, I'll say his name, Rafia. He's been trying to get me to. He tries to get me to do all the cookie crap, crappy cranky stuff. But listen, sometimes it seems to really do things for him. Yeah, I just. Sometimes I do it and it doesn't do things for me or it does do things for me. And I appreciate. I appreciate the trying. I appreciate the new suggestion. And one thing he's been trying to get me to do for years and years, cold showers, only. Cold showers. Ice cold showers, Cold plungers.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

About this for a while.

[Brian Green]

They have been talking about this for quite a long time. Starts with that guy Wim Hof, which I have seen quite a bit of his material, read some of his material. Wim Hof basically is a guy who started doing this to his own body and now has, has popularized popular, popularized, popularized hate. When my tongue doesn't work sometimes this idea of cold plunging or taking an ice bath or meditating in a state of hypothermia, basically that's the only way, that's the only way that I can think about, the only way I can describe it is that staving off hypothermia by slowing your body down, slowing your breathing down, you know, realizing that the pain is good for you. Yes. But if there's whim, ho hum, I.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Don'T know if I could meditate while being freezing cold.

[Brian Green]

This guy does it.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He goes, he literally will train yourself.

[Brian Green]

He'll jump in the frozen ocean, swim with a polar bear, go to the top of a mountain, sit there for hours in the snow, going like this with nothing but a loincloth on. The guy is insane. He's insane and I applaud him for recognizing and being aware enough about his own body to recognize that this is something that's been really positive for him and for a lot of other people apparently too. So I'm not poo pooing the whole idea, but I'm starting to read more and more articles where actual doctors are like, let's put our bodies in a super fight or flight mode for, for minutes, sometimes half hour at a time every single day and see how that does for us. And now there's some people who are saying, and of course there's always going to be two sides to every coin when somebody comes up with something new. And I don't always believe the doctors, I generally do believe science, but I don't always believe like, you know, brand new information because goddamn, everything's bad for you if you really look at it. But, but I don't always believe, you know, some of the stuff that gets out there on social media either. And so while this seems to have done wonders for Raphael and other people, I know, I tried, I tried, I tried my best. I tried to take cold showers, but there is just something about it that makes my body go haywire. It does not feel comfortable. It's the opposite of comfortable to me. I don't like cold weather. I don't like cold rain. I don't like cold water. I don't like, the only time I like cold water is when I'm drinking it. That's the only time that I like cold water. I do not want to be, I don't even like lukewarm water. Go into my shower right now because the last person took a shower with me. Go into that shower and see just how fucking hot my showers are. They're hot. I turn them out almost as high as I can turn them. Because that's just. That's like my default comfortable position when I go in the shower every morning and every night and sometimes in the afternoon. I would like to be in a state of relaxation, not a state of sheer panic.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Because that cold water drives me freaking crazy.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I know. Well, there's the whole, like the Romans have been doing that for a long time.

[Brian Green]

The cold bath stuff.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Well, no, it's the Turkish bath. And I discovered this when I went over to Rome.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

And they had these whole, you know, spa type things dedicated, where you go out to these mineral springs and they would have it where you could do. And it's a whole regimen series.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

You do the steam. You start with steam and then you do the cold.

[Brian Green]

Yep.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Like quick cold shower. And then you lie down on a. Like a marble bench.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Type thing. And there's some. I think there's some type of that thing where you do hot and then cold. So hot and then cold.

[Brian Green]

So you did that in Rome. So when Astrid and I are in Valencia, Spain, there's a hotel in Valencia, Spain on the beach, Renovated, it's called six or seven years ago. And Astro and I go after one of our children was born, we go. He's probably not even one yet, but it's like, I think we're in there in like February or something like that. So it's a little chilly. It's not like it's not summertime. You're not going hanging out on the beach.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But mom in law, wonderful mom in law says I'm taking the kid for the next 48 hours. You guys go do whatever it is you're going to do. I got, I got it. You know, give me some milk. I got it. Which was a lovely offer. So Astrid and I, being the first time we've ever spent the night away from any child, right. We decide we're going to run down to this hotel and we're staying on the beach also in a condo on the beach. We're going to run down to this hotel. It's about a mile down the beach, brand new, renovated. We go. Lovely room, beautiful hotel, lovely views of the Mediterranean coast. And then they have a spa. So anytime we can get to a spa for like a massage or something, we're like hell yeah. So we go, we go in for massages and then this comes with a day pass to this. Oh, right. Water spa that they have. And the water spa is very similar to what you're talking about. Numerous rooms with hot and cold, different water features. Right, right.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

There might be a mineral spring thrown in hot steam.

[Brian Green]

They have one called the snow shower, which is literally like frozen water being thrown in your face. They have the hot, hot Jacuzzi where you're only supposed to be there for like two or three minutes. And then you go directly into the cold Jacuzzi, which is like A. It's 47 degrees. You're only supposed to stay there for one or two minutes. And then they have this indoor like water spa with massage water massage chairs in the pool. Have you ever seen those?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like you sit back.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

We had those.

[Brian Green]

And the water jets go up and it's so nice. And then they have an indoor outdoor pool. So the indoor part, the pool's heated, but you can swim indoors and then you can go under that little thing and you can swim outdoors also. Right. So we're there. It's not very crowded. It's not that time of year. So there's probably, I'm going to guess there's like 10 people in the spa all together with Astrid and I. So eight strangers. There are a pair of young ladies and two other couples. And then there seems to be like two disparate older men just are there on their own. Right. For what reason?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

An old man in there and ours too.

[Brian Green]

Well, I know exactly why. Because in Spain no one wears clothing. Right. And especially not if you're at the water spa. People don't wear clothing. It's just not a thing that they do. So almost everybody is in some state of, you know, undress, except for Astrid and I, who are like. I'm like, I'm going to make it seems weird. I'm not going to do that. Americans. Yeah, you could tell the Americans in there because we basically walk in with like, you know, a wetsuit on, fully dressed from top to bottom. A heated wetsuit. We're like, yeah, I'll go in the cold plunge, heated wetsuit, please. So we get. So we go through the regimen. I go in that cold water up to my knees and I get right the out. I'm like, I'm going back to the hot one. Yeah. I can't even do it. It's just too much for me. Like, my body starts to go crazy. I'm like, ah, get out of Here, and I go in to Esther, and I go into the pool where they have the water spa. So we're doing the water spa, and these two girls are topless, as are the two other young ladies that are with, like, two couples, right? And they're probably in their mid-20s, and they're topless also. And one of the guys has no clothes on, right? So I'm like, okay, all right, cool. But this.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

When in Europe.

[Brian Green]

When in Europe, look at dicks. I guess that's how it's gonna go. Okay, cool. I've seen a dick. I'm cool with it. Whatever. Just I, you know, just please don't put it on me. And I'm fine, right? Everything's cool. And so we've been to Spain a lot. There's nothing new about this. We knew that there are topless people everywhere in Spain, and I love it. I think it's great. I think it's great that everyone feels so comfortable with their bodies and no one's really staring. It's just kind of a thing. It's not a thing, actually. It's just part of the culture there. But the two girls who are with each other, they are talking in. Not Spanish. They're talking in some. I think they may be from, like, Finland or Sweden or, you know, they got that kind of accent, light skin, blonde hair. And one of the girls starts this, like, laying, floating, right? She's floating. She's doing this floating thing. She's just laying there floating, and she's got her top off. And I have never in my life seen a boob job quite this way. I don't want to say it was bad or good. I just want to say that it was not what you would expect a natural breast or even a boob job to do, Right? It was really weird. It was. It appeared as if there were. I don't know how I explain this. Like, you know those chocolate. You know the cookie dough rolls that you get at the grocery store?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Where they have the cookie dough in them and it's a. It's a roll. Yeah, yeah. And you cut it up and then. Yeah, okay.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Imagine you had taken the top off one of those things, just chopped off the top of one of those things, and it was bigger, and then you put it on top of someone's actual boob, right? It would look just like a little lumpy and weird, right? This is how the boob looked. I could not stop for the life of me staring at this girl's boobs. Not just because it just looked strange to me. It didn't look natural. Not that it's supposed to, and not that I give a shit what your boobs look like. I really don't care. But I just thought this to be a rather weird boob job. It was kind of, like, weird. It was. I don't even. Like a boob on top of a boob on top of a boob. It was like a triple layer boob cake. I don't even know how to explain.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Was so weird as a different type of material or whatever that was in there.

[Brian Green]

So she's floating around in front of me, right? I'm on the spa chair. I'm, like, laying back. I'm on the spot chair. Astro. It's probably irritated the fuck with me, you know? She's not saying anything, but I can feel her eyes digging into the side of my head. And. And I'm just like. Just like, watching this girl float back and forth. And I'm like, wow, that's. That. That's interesting. That's a new way to do things, right? And then I see her friend who's sitting on a spa chair on the other end of the pool. I can see her. And it wasn't Astron's eyes I was feeling. It was her friend's eyes that I was feeling. I got so busted. Like, so busted, because I kind of looked over quickly and she was like this. But she was also topless. So then she had her arms folded. Her boobs are, like, flat, you know, over her arms. And so she's looking at me. Yes. And so then instead of looking directly in her face, now I look at her boobs because she's squeezing them together with her arms folded. And I'm like, I cannot win here. I'm. I'm. I'm the creepy old guy. But wait, there's two other single guys here. Why? They're older with loincloths on. Why aren't you. They're staring at her too. Everybody, I'm not guilty. It's not me. Something's going on with your friend's boobs. I'm just trying to figure it out. Okay? There's a triple layer boob cake going on there, and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Well, it was the most embarrassing thing. But here's a. Here's like the wrap up to that story is they jump in the cold. They jumped in the cold pool. They got out. They jumped in the cold pool. I assume because Astrid and I got out a couple minutes after that, and. And they were in that. So then the locker room is, like, close to the cold pool. Right. So we're, you know, drying off and doing this all night. Those girls must have been in that cold pool. I'm going to say 10 minutes. At 10 fucking minutes, those girls were in that cold pool.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Some stamina.

[Brian Green]

How do you do that? How do you sit in 47 degree water for 10 minutes without just dying? Dying. I don't know. Right. You get hypothermia in minutes. So this wim hof. And you could tell that they were also doing some kind of breathing exercise. And so this wim HOF methodology, or this methodology passed on or passed down or whatever it is, has really taken off. But there are clear indicators that you go into fight or flight mode when your body reacts to that water like that. And that may not necessarily be great for all people. Like, you know, for Brian, who's. Specifically for Brian, who's basically a walking marshmallow. Brian is.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I like to do a cool.

[Brian Green]

A spritz.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

A cool spritz at the end of a hot shower.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you do? You just turn it on Cool. Real quick. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Don't go cold. Yeah, I go cool.

[Brian Green]

Just a spritzer.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Like a hot shower, too.

[Brian Green]

And what's the point in that? It's just to, like, wake yourself up a little bit.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yeah. It's kind of. It's supposed to be good for your hair and your skin and stuff.

[Brian Green]

So I'll tell you. As far as I've taken and I've done, I've taken to doing this recently is I'll get up sometimes and I'll take the kids to school, But I don't feel like I. Sometimes I don't have enough time for a shower before. And there's so much chaos going on. I like to, you know, I try to help. I say I like to help. I try to help. I usually just add more chaos to the situation. I think Astor generally just likes it when I just leave everybody alone because I'm like, well, wash your hair, brush your teeth, get your clothes or your shoes. I gotta get out of here. There's five more minutes left. And Astrid's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's kindergarten. No one's gonna die. Okay? All right. Let's just settle down here. I'm, you know, running after spending 48 minutes. Yeah. Blue's barking because she knows people are getting geared up to leave the house. And, you know, I've spent 48 minutes in the bathroom doing my morning press conference. And now I come out like a king and I'm like, okay, everyone brush your teeth, put on your shoes and get your socks. And the kids are, you know, aha. Daddy, Esther's just like, please go back to the bathroom. Why don't you, why don't you go in the car and just wait for the kids? I'll send them your way. But since I don't feel like I have a lot of time to do that, you know, 30 minute shower that I do in the mornings, I've taken to splashing cold water on my face. Yeah. In an attempt to make me look like a human being when I go out there in the world. Because I gotta get my Starbucks and I got these huge baggy Irish eyes and I just splash cold water on my face. But even that takes my breath.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Plus you don't want to make sure there's anything on your face that looks like, oh, God.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you what, dude, I can't believe it. People are still looking at me weird up there. Still looking at me weird. It's a whole thing up there now. I know it. I either I'm very paranoid, which I know I am, or I'm correct that people are looking at me differently now. That Starbucks, they're not quite as friendly. They're like, well, he's a cokehead, so let's just, let's not get too attached to him. He's going to be in rehab any, any day now. He's going to be rehab any day. Let's get, not get too close to Brian, you know what I'm saying? We're going to get our hearts broken. He's going to steal our till register money for blow. He stole our tip jar for blow. That guy, that guy, look at him. You put in a 5.5, take out a 20. Oh, man, I saw somebody do that one time. I saw somebody at a Caribou Coffee do that.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

No.

[Brian Green]

Yes. It was terrible. And I said something to them. Starbucks is now my place, but I used to go to Caribou. I remember the Caribbean two or three times a day. God, I was drinking so much fucking caffeine, I'm surprised I haven't had a heart attack yet. So. But I knew all the people at the Caribou Coffee. And here's the crazy part. You want to hear the crazy part? There is a lady that works at that Starbucks now that worked at that Caribou coffee. Really? Yes. And so I've known her for almost as long as I've known her, she's.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Corroborating everybody's thoughts, too.

[Brian Green]

I've known him for a long time. I've seen him in all kinds of states of disarray. I think he used to meet his drug dealer at Caribou, which might be true, I don't know. Hey, meet me at the Caribou.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Get my coffee.

[Brian Green]

I gotta get my coffee on top of my cocaine. Yeah. Have any pills to bring me down? So I went to that care, but I'm waiting in line one day, very busy. Always. I went and went. This is actually when I had a day job and I would go in there when other human beings were actually there. And so I went, and there was a guy in front of me. He was a little twitchy. He was like, you know, he seemed a little off, like he was nervous about something. And so he orders whatever, you know, 09 standard cup of small coffee. Lady turns around, he takes a dollar bill, he puts it in. He takes a 20 out of there and puts it in his pocket. And I saw this all go down. And I didn't say anything to him, but then I said to the manager and this lady that were working the counter, I said, hey, guys, did you have a $20 bill in that thing? And they were like, oh, yeah, I think so. And I go, I think that dude just, like, put a dollar in and took a 20 out. And they were so gracious. They were like, well, he must have needed it. And I was like, what? You just stole $20 from you? And they're like, $19 from me. He's like, well, he must have needed it. I wish I could be that mature about anything, really. Where's my maturity? When does that come for me? When's all this therapy going to start paying off?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I don't know. It's going to happen.

[Brian Green]

It's got to happen at some point, right? I don't know. You think I might be a lost cause at this point? I think I might just be getting worse, actually. I mean, my therapist is doing a great job. I'm just not sure I'm hearing it. I don't know. My therap. My therapist must be like, oh, Brian, again. I only, you know, some months I go, like, once a month, sometimes twice a month, sometimes once every other week. Just depends on my schedule or what else is going on. But I know she must go, oh, how do I get rid of this client? Because, you know, of course I talk to her about the podcast. So of course she's listened to the podcast. I can't go to therapy without talking about the podcast. It's like a pretty big part of my life now, right? And so I know she listens to the podcast and each time I go in, I feel like I'm getting the same look from her that I get from the people at Starbucks. Like, what a degenerate. Why am I doing this with him?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He could. She could also be saying, well, he's going to be a study client for years.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, she could. That's what she could be saying. She's like, well, it's the worst hour of the week or the month or whatever it is, but I can count on that. As long as he's doing that commercial break, I'm in the money. It can only get better. He's doing maybe just like the commercial break, he'll start doing four times a week here, too.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He should.

[Brian Green]

He should. I should probably go back to one episode a week and do four therapy appointments a week. All right, we've got a fan request video to do today, Chrissy, and I'm excited about this and somebody, Caden, our friend Kaden texts in all the time. Him and his girlfriend love the show. They like to watch it with their friends. They love mountain monsters. They're having a good old time with it. And so I thought I'd do Kaden a favor and take on a fan request. I don't think we've done many of these.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

No, we have not.

[Brian Green]

No. Maybe once. Maybe once before. And I think it also, but we welcome them, was this same type of video. So we'll get to that.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That's true. It was another.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, another thing. I'm going to pull you through the break. You got to figure out what it is by listening to the sponsors. And then when we come back, we'll tell you what we're going to do. That's called a segue, Chris. Fancy, fancy radio term for this podcast, which is not radio, but anyway. All right, we'll be back.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333 TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok. CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by prize picks. Okay, now, a sporting season has come around that I actually enjoy. The MLB is back, baby. And I'm sitting here on Easter weekend and I am playing some games on prize picks. And let me tell you how easy this is. I picked Joe Boyle, a pitcher from Oakland, to throw more than 6.5 strikeouts. And I got Aaron Judge, you know, Aaron Judge hitting a home run on tonight's games. And that's it. It's that easy. You pick over, you pick under, you pick more, you pick less. It's just you against the numbers. Prize pick is America's number one fantasy sports platform where you do not have to be an expert on any of the sports because you're playing against the stats. And while I'm playing Boyle and Judge tonight, I will be playing my boys from Atlanta later on this week. And now, because prize picks loves the commercial break listeners and you happen to be a commercial break listener, you can go to prize pick picks.com tcb and then use the promo code tcb for your first deposit match of up to $100. That's prizepix.com tcb and make sure to use the code tcb for a first deposit match of up to $100. Now, you'll have to excuse me as I go watch the Oakland game and I'll follow up with you next week and let you know what happens. Prizepix.com TCB use that code TCB to get up to 100 on a free first match deposit. Thanks, prize picks, for being a sponsor of the commercial rig. All right, and we're back now. Now, finally, I'm going to announce to you something that probably has no suspense whatsoever. We're going to do a Mountain Monsters episode. The moth man has been requested by the Caden himself. Man, the moth man. He says he got to do this episode, Brian. One of our favorites. I love it. And I said, you know what? Why not give the kids what they want? Plus, it's good content for the show. It's a content I was missing.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Mountain Monsters.

[Brian Green]

Actually, I was, too. I think it's been months since we've done a Mountain Monsters. And, you know, we did a Frankie b. On our 500th because, of course, Frankie B. Yeah. But then mountain monsters also does play some kind of, you know, smaller but just as important part, I think, in our show, in the lore. And that is. Gives you something to listen to besides us. That's funny. You know what I'm saying? So he. Here is the Moth man episode. They are chasing the Mothman, which I have no idea what it is. Haven't watched the video yet. First time. I'm a virgin. You're a virgin. Everybody's a virgin here. We're all going to go in hard. We're going to go in raw, dogging mountain monsters. Mothman. Okay, here we go.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Night One investigation.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Hold up, hold up.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

We're in Mason county looking for Mothman.

[Brian Green]

We're in Mason county, which I just made up. We're in Mason county, which is where we have been every other episode of Mountain Monsters. Right here behind the Walmart in Mason County. The feature, the field behind the court. The Walmart at Mason County.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

I've seen some.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

The Mothman in this area goes back many, many years. These Mothman sightings go hand in hand with tragedy.

[Brian Green]

They go hand in hand with a good Reddit post. These guys are really bundled up. It must be cold out there. Mason, Cow, Huck and Buck and Suck and fuck. They're all out there doing it.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

He seems to have mystic powers. Hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheep butt.

[Mountain Monsters Member 3]

Oh, guys, I'm allergic to hypnotizing. I got a doctor's note. I can't do this one. It makes me break out in hives and dance like a chicken. I one time got. One time got hypnotized by the guy. The guy at the local fair. You know, the kings and the knights and stuff. What's that called? The Renaissance Fair. I got hypnotized by the Renaissance Fair guy, and for three days I walked around like a chicken with my pants off.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Well, he just said. The other guy just said To Buck or. Which one?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's Buck or Huck. No, that's Buck. That's Huck. Chuck, I don't know. We've been doing this for five years and I still don't know the names. We need a little chart. Yeah, we should have.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He just said, you're white. You're really white.

[Brian Green]

You're really white.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

But meanwhile, he's got a headlamp shining on his face.

[Brian Green]

I know. First of all. Second of all, he was really white in first place. I'm sorry, but I don't see Buck as the kind of guy that gets to Cabo very often. I could be wrong. I could be wrong.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Seems to have mystic Powers. He hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheep, Buck.

[Brian Green]

I'm all right.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

I'm all right.

[Brian Green]

I'm all right. I haven't gotten the tan bed this week.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

It's something we've never had to deal with before.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Hang on a sec. Hang on a second.

[Brian Green]

I. I got the runs. I'll be right back. Hang on one second. That Baconator's coming back up on me, boys. I'm gonna have to go into the Walmart and blow that bathroom up.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Destroy it.

[Brian Green]

We're gonna destroy that restroom. Can you do me a favor? Security guards, run in there, see if you can't clear out that portalette. Oh. Oh, man.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Buck just went down.

[Brian Green]

And I mean, he really went down. Like, let's see. He actually went down. Wow. That was. That almost doesn't look fake. Wow. That Baconator did come back up on him. Wow. So you can't see this because you're listening to the show, but they're all standing around. The four main characters and mountain monsters are standing around. And Buck, who I think is generally known as the leader of the group. He's a very big boy and he just falls over. But it kind of looks planted. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

We can't get him up now.

[Brian Green]

Buck. Buck, are you okay? Because if I'm not mistaken, you just passed out, and at your size, you probably had a heart attack or a stroke. But let me not dither. Let me ask you if you're okay. Like, shouldn't you immediately get emergency aid?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

These guys are standing around saying his name. The guy just went head first into the ground. Guys, he ain't faking. Come on, Buck.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He ain't faking.

[Mountain Monsters Member 3]

All right, let me get a Red Bull.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Usually, like usual.

[Mountain Monsters Member 3]

Yeah, let me get a Red Bull and a couple Honey Buns. We'll get him back. We'll get him back up.

[Brian Green]

These poor guys like Elvis. Just keep plugging them full of fluids and trying to get him out on stage.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Hang on now.

[Brian Green]

Just lay there for a minute. Hang on.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

You okay, Buck?

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Breathe easy.

[Brian Green]

As if he was gonna get up on his own anytime soon. Like, lay down for a minute. Breathe easy.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

You hit pretty hard.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Aw, he's rubbing them.

[Brian Green]

No, they really do love each other. They're like little friends. There's a little group of friends running after Mothman out there. That's what me and my friends do.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

On my days off.

[Brian Green]

You passed out.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Get up.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Set him up here.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Oh, hang on.

[Brian Green]

Hang on. Stay right there. Hang on. Hang on. I got some gas stuck in my Rectum. Hang on, hang on. Let me adjust my monster.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Talk to me, talk to me.

[Brian Green]

We got all that stuff. We'll take care of you. Where's my flashlight?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

All I want to do is continue to keep rolling.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm just going to keep rolling. No medical attention really needed. Wait, where's my flashlight? And my Costco membership card. Get those two things before I get up.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

I have no clue what just happened to me. We walk into the woods and then.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'm not a doctor, but I am the third Huckleberry on this show. And if I had to take a guess, you were hypnotized by the Mothman.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

I'm just kind of dizzy, and next thing I know, I open my eyes, I'm on the ground looking up at Huckleberry and Jeff. They told me that I passed out.

[Brian Green]

That's exactly what I want to see if I pass out. Huckleberry and Jeff on top of me. Brian, Brian. I just wake up and then pass right back out.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I'm like Uncle Barry and Jeff.

[Brian Green]

Uncle Barry and Jeff. Well, thank God Uncle Barry and Jeff were there. Doing nothing for you but rubbing your belly.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Feel better?

[Brian Green]

Stand up a little bit.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

I've seen something strange, you know, I don't know really. What's going on? Just feeling a little weird. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

You got my shotgun? That'll make me feel better.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I'm feeling dizzy. Yeah, you got my gun?

[Brian Green]

I'm feeling Disney and hypnotized and all out of sort. You got my gun loaded? Can I point it in multi directions? What if he just takes a gun and starts swinging it around? How's everybody doing?

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

Covered here? You just worry about yourself.

[Brian Green]

You just take care of Buck. All right.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

Your bandana.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Yeah. Thanks, guys.

[Brian Green]

They gave him some therapy lessons there. They're like, you take care of you. You do you.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Buck time.

[Brian Green]

You need some self love right there, buddy. Go draw a bath. Get. Get yourself a good magazine and a nice bottle of rose. You're gonna be right as rain by tomorrow. All right, thank you. Bachelor finale is on. Go watch it with Brian.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Grab my shotgun.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Oh, that's his beard. I thought it was a hazmat suit.

[Brian Green]

Well, he's like a walking hazmat suit. Like you should have a hazmat suit if you're around him. Almost.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

Wow.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Yeah. That's scary.

[Brian Green]

Well, that sucks. Guess we have to keep filming. Let us not.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

We gotta get that Mothman.

[Brian Green]

Let us not delay. The Mothman needs our attention. I hope he's all right. I do too. I Hope he's all right. We probably should go to the hospital with him. But we're gonna stay here with our headlamps and run around like little children looking for Mothman.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

I just don't know.

[Brian Green]

I can't explain it. Now it's the next day. Just to keep you up the rest of what's going on at his sighting.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

And was clearly shaken up by what he all that night. Now it's time to go after the Mothman.

[Brian Green]

Oh, now it's time to go after the Mothman.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That was just a free. That was a pre launch party.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's a little tailgating before the fish concert. I've seen stranger stuff at a Widespread Panic show. I see that every time. Guys going down on their face and other guys standing around going, hello. Hello.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Crash's idea that these electrical currents attracted the Mothman just may lead to an idea that may help us devise a trap.

[Brian Green]

Wait, who's this guy? Trapper who's showing up?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I don't know. It almost looked like this may be an earlier.

[Brian Green]

Earlier or later episode.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Well, because it said buck and then it below it said rookie.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it said rookie. Yeah. Oh, he does look younger in this episode too. Yeah. We don't know because we don't do any research before we start this show. We aren't aware of all the comings and goings of everybody because we fail to do any homework whatsoever. I'm reading this article the other day about podcasts and like spreading misinformation on podcasts. And this, the girl wrote the. The article, which was. Which was, I think well done, but a little snarky. Was like. Because podcasts, all they do is just claim they don't know anything while they spread misinformation. We really don't know anything. So. Yeah. But luckily we're only spreading misinformation about mountain monsters, so I don't think we're harming anybody here.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

We are, Bill. Normally when I design traps, I design them for start.

[Brian Green]

Willie. It's my rat. My rat grew up to be a mountain monster. You did it, Willy. You did.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Survived the legend.

[Brian Green]

The legend of Willy. He's now a trap builder for the mountain monsters.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

It makes total sense.

[Brian Green]

It makes total sense. Oh, I love this. He went down into the sewers, freed Willy and lifted Willy.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He became.

[Brian Green]

He went down into the sewers.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

He's like a tedious beard.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He came in contact with nuclear waste and he became a mountain monster. I'm so glad things turned out for you. It's me, Daddy. It's me, Daddy. Come back. You can sit on my shoulder. You're a little big, but you can sit on my shoulder again. Just like the old times. I'll put you in a box with some of that shaved up cardboard. You'll be fine. Things will be great, just like they used to be. Oh, Ben, the two of us need look no more.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

And being able to hold and contain whatever creatures we're after. But this one's totally different.

[Brian Green]

I've heard about the Mothman. That thing can just go from like wild buildings.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

But this is before he was yelling.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, he. He was calm back then. Before the producers started saying, well, you're just not interesting enough. How's that? What have I just done? Y'. All. Y' all are all the time like that. Come here, y'. All. The Mothman. I'll be down by the creek.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

Just.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

A matter of seconds. Any kind of trap that I build that we're going to drop down over top. If he could teleport right on the outside of the cage.

[Brian Green]

Teleport? What is this, Star Trek? He can teleport outside the cage. Why are you trying to build a cage?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I know.

[Brian Green]

For a creature that can teleport outside cages, doesn't make much sense and be free again.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

So what I got here is a cage that guy can electrify, which he can't teleport through electricity. You know basically how a bug zapper works.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Well, this is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, I sure do.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yeah, he needed to crank it up and on.

[Brian Green]

I sure do. I've been. I got five of those in front of my house on my front porch. I knock into them every once in a while.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Largest bug zapper you ever seen.

[Brian Green]

Giant. Giant bug zapper. What does Jap Jap mean?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Giant.

[Brian Green]

Giant. Oh, he said giant. Giant. I thought he said Jap Jap. Wait one second. Let's go back. You might be right.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Is you ever saying that?

[Brian Green]

I think he said Jap Jap. It's his own mountain monster language. But of course, he's talking to a full sized rat. Mutant. A mutant rodent. So he does probably have to tailor his language to his audience. I got it. I understand.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

This is the idea. I come up with two before galvanized electricity, purifying wire. And I got this high voltage electric box that I brought with me. This will be enough juice.

[Brian Green]

I've got this extremely dangerous high voltage lightning box we're going to put right under the high powered transmission lines.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I know it. Should this be. I know, like the electrical lines going through the whole like 10 acres.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we've all seen it. You're driving down the road somewhere a little rural, and then out of nowhere there's like these huge power ski slopes. Yeah, ski slopes. They just go on forever.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

The ski things, ski lifts.

[Brian Green]

Those are the high wattage power lines that consist that make up the grid in the United States. And they connect and they go for hundreds of miles, maybe thousands of miles, I don't know. But they're underneath these things because they think that's where the Mothman is going to be attracted to. And their bright idea is to put yet another high voltage electrical thing right under the high. That's so dumb. Yeah, yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Be able to energize this whole cage. Pull it up clear to the top of the bridge.

[Brian Green]

Sent to old Kruger.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Once he gets up underneath of it, motions will set it off. Cage drops down around to him.

[Brian Green]

He's home to stay.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

He cannot teleport to the outside. He can't touch the side of the cage.

[Brian Green]

I'm pretty sure if someone could teleport, electricity is not going to stop him. But I don't know. What do I know about teleporting?

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

If he does, it'll be like barbecue.

[Brian Green]

To get her done, bro. What you need to do in the old Marine. Tell me what you need to do and I'm gonna go get some crank and I'll be right back. I'm gonna go shake up my Mountain Dew meth bottle and I'll be right back and we'll get her done.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

This is a unique cage trap. It's actually the biggest bug zapper ever built.

[Brian Green]

That is some tough stuff, brother.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

I've rewired up my bug zapper at the house a time or two to be able to catch these moths and millers and these damn little n. Who's.

[Brian Green]

At home rewiring their bug zapper? Who does that? I'm pretty sure people on crystal meth like to do that kind of thing, don't they? They like to take apart TVs and put them back together. And I mean, I know when you're.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

At home, you know, rewiring.

[Brian Green]

When you're at home rewiring your bug zapper after a long day at a party with chiropractors. You know how it goes. Oh, Lord. Okay, let's do this. Let's take a break and then we're gonna. Let's take a break and then we'll get back to our good friends here at Mountain Monsters. We'll be back.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, thank the baby Jesus Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back in our own Faraday cage over here at the commercial break. Let's get back to the mountain monsters. They're currently building the world's largest bug zapper. Which imagine what these guys could do if they put.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

To fly around and aggravate you and bug you. But I've never in my life built a bug zapper this big.

[Brian Green]

Why would you? I mean, for what reason? Here. He may eat old molliform for good eating, bro. Getting fried up in here. Up in here. Plan on having some moth wings after we get the Mothman in here.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Is he drunk?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he is something, first of all. Yeah, I think as the seasons go on, he gets drunker and that's why he gets louder. But he is something. Or maybe that's just the way he is. I don't know. Seems like a nice enough guy. Just does a lot of weird talking. Job. Job.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Damn it. Thing starts easy.

[Brian Green]

So now they're.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That thing starts easy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. Dang. That thing starts easy. I don't trust things to start that easy.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Plug it in right there, Bill, and I'll show you how this little machine works right here.

[Brian Green]

Flipper on brother.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Meer button. I know the marketing.

[Brian Green]

Power.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

You turn it on.

[Brian Green]

Electro cubes. That's amazing.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That's how it works.

[Brian Green]

He's like the real life. Remember King of the Hill?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yeah, the dad.

[Brian Green]

No, the guy who would just mumble.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Boomhauer I come up with is having a cage. That guy can electrify. He can't teleport through electricity.

[Brian Green]

How do you know that? Who has been teleporting through electricity or not? Yeah, of course.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Right back here, buddy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Lord. Oh, yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Ah, you see them two resistors right there?

[Brian Green]

You see those two resistors right there? You want to have a great fire Tonight, stick your dick in it. Your hair. Make your hair stand on end.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

Produce electrical force that will fry his little ass.

[Brian Green]

He'll thank you. Old Fourth of July's come early. I think the Fourth of July has come early. Do you think the Mothman has a calendar? I'm just wondering. Well, Halloween's coming up.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

It's my busy time.

[Brian Green]

It's my busy time. All the kids are gonna make fun of me again. Mothman costume again. That's how I was born.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

There's a lot of people down here in Mason county that have spoken about the red big pan, like, gazing eyes. Buck had an awfully terrifying feeling once the Mothman had looked him straight in the eyes. And I've got grave concerns.

[Brian Green]

Wait, when did the Mothman look him straight in the eyes? He just fell over. I didn't see any Mothman.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Well, no, of course they didn't get on camera.

[Brian Green]

Now he's just tired in the back of the. They're all riding in the car and Buck's, like, got his eyes closed in the back with his heads bobbling all over the place.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

We've been out on several investigations, and this is the first time we've came across something of this nature that would make one of the team members sick.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

You know, after seeing what I seen up at Crash's Field, I seen these two big glowing eyes.

[Brian Green]

I got two big glowing eyes. Look like headlights about a mile away, first of all. Second of all, I've never been on a mountain monster set, but I guarantee this is not the first thing that has made people sick on a monster set. I can only imagine what craft services looks like over there.

[Mountain Monsters Member 3]

Well, I got extra Doritos, Taco Locos from Taco Bell and Mountain Dew, just like you requested. I do have to say I bought the Taco Locos about a week ago, but they still smell. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Chop, chop. I'm gonna eat them. Sounds good to me.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Passed out and I haven't felt well since.

[Brian Green]

Oh, we're getting ready to go on an interview.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

This guy was out in the woods. He's an avid hunter and trapper. He sighted him on a perch up on top of an old county bridge. Been closed for years.

[Brian Green]

Who's hanging around an old county bridge closed for years? I mean, I realize there's not a lot to do. I realize not everybody lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I get it.

[Brian Green]

I have been friends with. I have been to. I have been out in the backwoods. I know. I've been to parties in the woods where you pretend like you're in the backwoods for a couple of days, but I don't know who's at an old bridge looking for Mothman.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

We're headed over to see a man named Mark.

[Brian Green]

How we doing?

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Pretty good.

[Brian Green]

How are you?

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Mark's telling us that he was out deer hunting and he sees this figure sitting on the top of this old bridge. It gives him a very eerie feeling.

[Brian Green]

Oh, scientific proof.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Back in the woods there, scouting for deer and I seen this big creature on a bridge.

[Brian Green]

I love how they all have their notebooks out and they're writing as if this is an Agatha Christie murder mystery.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

I had no idea what it was. It was a little bigger than me, had red glowing eyes. And I was just standing there mesmerized by it.

[Brian Green]

How tall was it?

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

It had to been at least seven foot tall. Heard stories.

[Brian Green]

Seven foot, eight foot, nine foot. What makes it better for the television?

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Winged creatures before. Told my buddies about it and they mentioned something about a Mothman.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

That's entirely possible because.

[Brian Green]

That's entirely possible because we're doing an episode on Mothman right now and it's in the script. If my name isn't Trapper. Wasn't there a show called Trapper, Maryland one time?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think so. Back in the 70s, been a lot.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Of sightings of the Mothman in this part of the country. When people have close up sightings of him, the eyes is what really gets them. I'm very excited this took place.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That's why he's wearing sunglasses.

[Brian Green]

The guy they're talking to has sunglasses. And that Trapper guy starts talking to him like he knows what he's talking about. And his mouth is wide open and he's just like nodding his head and then shaking it. Also he's like, now that's not what I said. I said I thought I saw a.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Creature on a bridge. Because that's the Mothman's portfolio.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That's his mouth.

[Brian Green]

His old county bridges, near deer hunting grounds where no one else can witness. I do see a pattern coming together here.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Really like to see this bridge.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

Mark had the sighting of Mothman on this bridge. But the characteristics of it relate back to 1967 and the silver Bridge collapsed. What's scary is to have a sighting of Mothman today. Everybody feels that whenever you see the Mothman, there's tragedy. It follows.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I can see the bright buck tipping over like a sleeping cow. Yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Bridge, Yep. Man, that's a unique bridge.

[Mountain Monsters Member 4]

They don't build them like that anymore, do they?

[Brian Green]

They don't Build them like that anymore, do they? That's what, a three, four foot expansion bridge?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Close.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There's a reason why it literally has no road anymore. It's two pieces of iron swung across a creek. I swear to God is no bigger than six feet across. None. They don't make them like that anymore. No, they don't. Because they could literally just put some dirt in there and make a road.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

That bridge is way too little to hold anything, especially someone my size. And the Mothman's supposed to be bigger. There's no way to hold.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Mark, you wanted to see your bridge because Mothman.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but if you win, if you can teleport now, if you could teleport, that's a different story. Yeah, you just kind of float above it a little bit. Chrissy, you're not thinking about this correctly in scientific terms.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Been seeing around bridges so much that actually we're going to incorporate a bridge into our trap.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Yeah, I saw that creature sitting right up on top of that rail on the right. He was just kind of crouched on top of that rail.

[Brian Green]

Are you sure it wasn't the DMT talking?

[Kristen Joy Hly]

It's just crowd.

[Brian Green]

It was just crowd. It was taking a Mothman poops the size of logs. It was amazing.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

And it just kind of put the fear of God in. That's when he jumped up and glided across.

[Brian Green]

That's when he jumped up and made another dropping and then flew away. I collected the scat. Would you like to see it? It's the size of the Mothman. Rumor has it he's got straight intestines. Food just goes right through him. Rumor has it Mothman has the biggest dung of any of the creatures we've chased.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Jeff will know, the researcher.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, for sure. Weren't they one time, like, sticking their hands in some, like, Wolfman scat or something?

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

He just kind of.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Nah, he just kind of disappeared now.

[Brian Green]

He just got. He just kind of. Everybody. Everybody's doing it now. Everyone's doing the same little noise. He just got up, you know. Yeah. I don't want to say it on national television, but, you know, let himself loose. He really let one go and it flew off. Flames coming from his anus. His dung literally set on fire coming out of his butt. And, you know. Well, that tracks with what we've heard from other Mothman sightings.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

Off into the dust.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

Mark didn't have a whole lot of details or facts in this story. The story was very.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Why we just.

[Brian Green]

This is why we spent 15 minutes of this episode talking about him. Is because he didn't really actually tell.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

The truth, facts or research?

[Brian Green]

He didn't do any facts or research or anything really beneficial.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

So it's like the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I know. It's just. I felt like we were getting into commercial break territory, so I just kind of let him go. This. Our whole episode is based on this one man's sightings. But in hindsight, I do have to admit, even for the mountain monsters, it would sound a little sketchy.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

But I think that he was just, you know, a little surprised. You know, whatever he seen, it was dark.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

What do you think about what his wingspan was from, you know, from where you saw him?

[Brian Green]

Oh, 50ft at least. I don't know what's in the script. Five. Five feet. Five feet. You know, when he opened his wing, you know, just kind of. It just kind of came out. I don't know. All right, can we focus less on the pooping and more about him? Oh, yeah, he. You know, he also turned his head and, you know, it just got up.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

I'm guessing 12, 14ft wide.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

That's pretty big. Mark's story's not adding up. Some of the things he was telling us just couldn't be true.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

The bridge wasn't right.

[Brian Green]

I've never seen the mountain monsters discount a story like this. But this is probably. I think you're right. This is an early episode, and they're probably trying to give some credibility. Poor Mark. I mean, you go on the mountain monsters, you don't expect to be grilled by the mountain monsters. I don't know, but I just would imagine you're not thinking this is going to be an interrogation. Yeah, I said it's all the mouth, man. He's 48ft high and 400ft of wingspan. And, you know, he kind of teleported away with his poop.

[Mountain Monsters Member 5]

I just really believe that he'd seen a. An owl.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

An owl. A huge mothman to an owl.

[Brian Green]

This guy's like, I've been doing ketamine therapy after I saw that mothman. Now you're telling me it was an owl? Wow. Poor Mark. I mean, now all his friends are like, yeah, you're the guy that lied on mountain monsters. I mean, if you couldn't get any lower.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

Appreciate you bringing us out here and spending time with us.

[Mark (Mothman Witness)]

No problem.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

That had to been one hell of an experience. That's all I have to say.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Sure was. I was pretty high then. Not so much now. I'm actually feeling not so good. If I could go back and do some more narcotics I'll probably feel better.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

I'm not real enthused with his story because the damned old bridges are rotten it. And we're talking about six 700 pound animals sitting on top of this bridge. And I'm pretty sure that.

[Brian Green]

They got a. A CGI rendering. This is no Steven Spielberg work here. No Amblin Entertainment here.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

No Jam's camera.

[Brian Green]

Pixar. Pixar did not make this.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

It's a.

[Brian Green]

It's like a manlike creature with big wings and red glowing eyes drawn by my son in preschool who collapsed with it.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

The Mothman may have caused the Silver Bridge to collapse. I'll tell you right now, it ain't gonna take much for that bridge to collapse.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

It's pretty rinkety, isn't it?

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

It is, yeah.

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

We'll make sure we don't get anyone out on there.

[Mountain Monsters Member 2]

I mean, you're not even gonna send me this time?

[Mountain Monsters Member 1]

I'll send you out on everybody. That bridge is so old and so decrepit, I don't even believe it'd hold the weight of the Mothman, let alone a trap. We definitely had to to find another bridge to set our trap for the Mothman.

[Brian Green]

The Mothman's just coming to Bridges. That's all he does. Just hang out on bridges.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

That's apparently this portfolio.

[Brian Green]

His portfolio. That's his scene. Chrissy, you know, some people are into emo punk, hippie bands. You know what I'm saying? He's into Bridges and why not? Oh, okay. Oh, that's it. We don't get any more. Oh, no. There is a follow up video to this. There definitely is a follow up video to this this. And I would love to show it, but not today. We'll get to it. Yeah, we'll get to it. Next episode, I promise. We'll finish up the Mountain Monsters. But that was a good one. We're running out of time. That was a good one. Good job.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And I will watch Part two tomorrow so that we don't leave anybody in the lurch. No one in the hanging. We got to find out if they actually see the Mothman. Here's a little hint. They don't, but, you know. Yeah, but at least they called out that guy on his, you know, they weren't afraid to say that guy wasn't truthful. Now I'm wondering from a production side because I'm. This is like how my brain works. Was that guy an actor, like a paid actor that they just busted on or did that guy actually think he saw something and then the Poor mountain. Mountain monsters come in there and just base. Basically make him seem like he was Bug's friend. I think so, too.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Yeah, they had the same noise, guys.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you know, he just. It's just. I don't know. He just.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I think Buck was like, come on down.

[Brian Green]

I think they picked him out of the Walmart produce section. That's what I think. Hey, you ever seen a mothman for $20? For $20? In a case of Mountain Dew? I did. A case of Papa. I did. All right, well, quick, make up a story. You guys told me to make up the story. What the. I get out. I watch the episode. Now all my friends think I'm lying about Mothman. I've got no respect in this here community. I demand a retraction. All right, you too can have your content here on air. If you think there's something interesting that the commercial break should, could, or would, would talk about. 1212-4333. TCB 12. 12433-3822. You can also be on the show. We'd love to give you advice live, hear your crazy story or, you know, whatever you want to talk about. Just text us, let us know what you want to talk.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

Teleport yourself.

[Brian Green]

If you could teleport yourself, that would be great. I'll turn off the power. That way you can get in here and everything will be. Everything will be great. But we'd love to have you on the show. So do text us. Comments, questions, content, ideas, concerns, all to that number. TCB, podcast.com, all the audio, all the video, free piggy fronting sticker. Hit the contact us button. You know what to do at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hly]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, jma, Chrissy and I do say we must say we will say goodbye, Receive.