The Moon Dudes!

Summary

The Commercial Break – "The Moon Dudes!" (April 3, 2026)

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme: A hilarious, irreverent deep dive into the recent NASA moon launch—aka “the moon dudes”—mixed with signature TCB banter on space trivia, reality TV drama, and more.

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Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy kick off with wild enthusiasm for NASA’s latest Artemis moon mission, marveling at the bravery (and, as they keep joking, “balls”) of modern astronauts. The episode is packed with the duo’s classic blend of factual curiosity, running gags, and tangents into pop culture—perfectly balancing awe and irreverence toward human achievement and everyday absurdities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Watching the NASA Moon Launch

• Bryan and Krissy recap watching the Artemis launch on NASA’s channel, noticing the hours of astronaut hosts and experts prepping the audience with endless technical jargon and live countdowns.

  • “[NASA's] really transparent about what's going on and how they're communicating.” — Bryan (01:25)
  • The toilet malfunction, battery overheating, and sensor drama before the launch get many ribbing comments.
  • “What it really means is the shitter's backed up. Can we get a plunger?” — Bryan (02:52)

• Space Launch Lingo & Drama:

  • Both hosts admit half the “technical” talk is a mystery, but they’re fixated by the tension and spectacle, reminiscent of “Apollo 13.”

2. The Artemis Crew & 'Moon Dudes'

• Celebration of the Artemis Crew Diversity:

  • The hosts note it’s the first mission with a Black astronaut, a woman, a Canadian, and, as Bryan jokes, “the obligatory white guy.”
  • “What a fucking huge hairy set of balls on each one of them, honestly.” — Bryan (07:13)

• They joke about qualifications for “moon dude” status and the audacity required:

  • “Would you volunteer for stage two? Or we just want to see if we can keep going. No.” — Krissy (04:41)
  • Krissy follows the female crew member on Instagram, excited for space selfies (08:03).

3. Space Tech, Engineering Feats & Reused Rockets

• Repurposing Space Shuttle Parts:

  • Much amusement at how NASA “recycled” rocket boosters and parts from prior missions.
  • “They're like, hey, we're using tires from the last car ... I might be a little bit nervous.” — Bryan (08:49, 09:06)
  • The Artemis is genuinely massive—Bryan’s in awe of its power.

• Space Center Tour Memory:

  • Bryan shares memories of touring Houston’s NASA facilities—impressed by the size, complexity, and humanity’s collective efforts:
    “Hundreds of thousands of people ... a testament to mankind and how cool we can be when we want to be.” (11:22)

4. Why Going to the Moon Still Matters

• Danger and Purpose of Lunar Missions:

  • The duo reflects on public indifference post-Apollo and why it’s wrong—space travel is still incredibly dangerous and visionary.
  • “You have to be able to raise your hand and say out loud, I'm not sure my shit's working okay.” — Bryan (17:16)

• Prepping for Mars:

  • NASA’s current goal is not just the moon but using it as a “rest stop” for Mars journeys, including potential water and hydrogen fuel resources.
  • Classic analogy: “If you're going to go camping in a new spot ... You're not going to show up at night and hope everything turns out okay.” — NASA host via Bryan (05:43)

5. Risks, Space Junk, and In-Mission Safety

• Space Junk Hazards:

  • The conversation covers all the hazards: radiation, space debris, solar flares.
  • “Holy fucking shit. Let's practice for a radiation event. Oh my God.” — Bryan (17:04)
  • Practicing emergency space maneuvers—“you can only replicate up there.”

• Quality Control & Decision Making:

  • The sheer level of scrutiny impresses both, laughing about how NASA treats an iffy battery (“One dude on the battery team could just put a stop to the whole thing.” — Bryan 17:16)
  • Bryan contrasts this with how he ignores “yellow light” warnings in his car.

• Multiple Checks and Countdown Culture:

  • They explain the real sequence: multiple rounds of "go/no-go" votes, stop-the-clock moments, and redundant checks.
  • “They go around the room so many times just to make sure ... is it nominal? ... Can we go?” — Bryan (18:47)

6. The Space Race & Pop Culture

• International Rivalry:

  • China’s secretive moon landing gets mentioned—a sign the space race is real again.
  • “This is For All Mankind playing out in live time.” — Bryan (21:04)
    • Bryan strongly recommends the AppleTV show “For All Mankind” for space race fans (21:11).

• Gripes about Streaming TV:

  • Both vent about the trend toward “appointment TV” and weekly episode drops.
  • “We broke TV and now we're back to one a week ... Fuck that.” — Bryan (22:14)

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Sidebar Tangents & Memorable Bits

Reality TV Rants / Tangents (31:27+)

• Top Chef, Padma, and Culinary Cup:

  • Both gush over Padma Lakshmi’s new show, compare it to “Top Chef,” and dissect why the latter is reality TV at its classiest—minimal drama, focus on actual talent.
  • “They focused on what was happening in the house, who was fighting with who ... But at some point, there was a creative decision made, and they almost started showing none of it.”—Bryan (34:58)

• Survivor and Dating Shows:

  • Surprised “Survivor” is still on, they don’t watch anymore, and Bryan mocks the endless machinations and emaciated contestants.
  • “They all look like Tom Hanks in Castaway and they're making friends with coconuts ... I don’t watch it.” — Bryan (38:13)
  • Bachelorette scandal: The hosts incredulous that ABC overlooked older domestic violence cases: “Disney is probably a corporation with a lot of power and information right?” — Bryan (39:15)

Everyday Life Antics

• Bryan’s home improvement blunders:

  • Fails at fixing light switches, mishaps with circuit breakers and refrigerators, and putting “Gustavo” to work.
  • “I almost set the pool shed on ... I did set the pool shed on fire, actually.” — Bryan (48:14)

• Kids and Space Explainers:

  • Describes trying to teach kids about space: “Here, this is called the Challenger. Watch this one, kids. It makes a big fireball.” — Bryan (05:10)

Fan Interactions (44:39)

• Bryan tells a story about a fan trying to interact live on a three-week-old YouTube post—likening it to his mom calling to confirm a text.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What a pair of fucking balls on these people, man. I’ll tell you what.” — Bryan (07:01)
• “First black person to ever go to the moon. First woman to go to the moon. First Canadian to go to the moon. And then white guy—because you gotta have a white guy, right?” — Bryan (07:13)
• “This is really a testament to mankind and how cool we can be when we want to be.” — Krissy (11:22)
• “Practice for a radiation event. Oh my God.” — Bryan (17:04)
• “With those people, a little yellow light goes on ... it’s like, Capcom, stop the countdown. We’re out. Everyone, duck!” — Bryan (18:15)
• “They go around the room so many times just to make sure. And they talked about the battery, the shitter, the sensor ...” — Bryan (18:45)
• “Holy, man, that is one big, powerful dick riding to the sky. I loved it. I loved every minute of it.” — Bryan (19:54)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:08–02:39 – Opening banter, watching the NASA launch, kid antics
• 03:38 – Krissy and Bryan discuss movies inspired by space (“Contact”, “Project Hail Mary”)
• 04:33–08:49 – Artemis moon mission details, technical mishaps, crew bio excitement
• 10:09–11:22 – Space center tour, reflections on the collective achievement
• 13:12–18:15 – Explaining gravity, orbit, space station, dangers, and risk of space travel
• 18:47 – Safety checks and the launch sequence
• 20:34 – Space race: China’s secret moon missions and “For All Mankind” show
• 31:27 – Reality TV: Top Chef, Padma’s Culinary Cup, Survivor, Bachelorette scandal
• 44:39 – Fan engagement and miscommunications
• 46:16 – Bryan’s “handyman” stories; family life antics

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Overall Tone

A mix of genuine awe for human spaceflight, deep skepticism for reality television, and goofy, self-deprecating asides. Bryan and Krissy go from “moon nerds” to trash-talking cooking contests, all with a rambling, affectionate, and unfiltered style.

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Takeaways

• The Artemis moon mission is an awe-inspiring feat—worthy of open-mouthed amazement, jokes about rocket “balls,” and admiration for the astronauts.
• Space travel remains perilous and exhilarating, even if public attention has waned since the Apollo days.
• There’s both beauty and absurdity in how humans chase the stars, battle home repairs, and get wrapped up in reality show scandals.
• “The Commercial Break” delivers every insight with a big wink, a belly laugh, and plenty of inside jokes for regular listeners.

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"Best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time … we do say and we must say goodbye." (58:08)

Transcript

[Brian Greene]

On this episode of the commercial break, they used the rocket, I guess. I don't know what you call them. Like the, the balls. Yeah, the balls, the ball bearings. You know, the things that hang off. Yeah, it's all about balls. They use the nuts of the other one. You know those things that hang off the back. The rocket things.

[Chris Hoadley]

The boosters.

[Brian Greene]

The boosters, yeah, the boost. The things where the shit comes out, the fire comes out. Right. They used three of them from the space shuttle. They just used them. They just repurposed them. And the fourth one was rebuilt from the shuttle. I don't know, I'm going. And they're not even sure I'm gonna make it. And they're like, hey, we're using tires from the last car. I don't know. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Ah, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and co hosts of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris, best and best to you out there in the podcast and streaming audience. I think there's none of you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I did get the notification.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Sometimes it pop. Sometimes people just pop right in and then sometimes like they pop in later. I don't know, I don't know how all that works. Whatever. Anyway, the moon dudes made the moon dudes go, did you see it?

[Chris Hoadley]

They're alive.

[Brian Greene]

Did you see it? Did you watch it? Yes, we watched it. Two hours of the countdown. You know that NASA channel is. Yeah, it really is. Like I've done this before. This isn't the first one I've watched on the NASA channel where they've got all of the people like, you know, three hours, four hours ahead of time. They've got the hosts who tend to be astronaut related or astronauts themselves, and they talk about all the experts. Yeah. And then you're leading up to the actual launch, which is really a question mark, until the very moment, Right. It's, you know, the trouble with the toilet. They had trouble with the toilet. They had trouble with a battery, they had trouble with a sensor. They're talking about it the entire way. They're being really transparent about what's going on and how they're communicating. So we're watching this the entire time. And I am just like, the kids are talking and yelling and my brother in law is here. Everyone's. And I'm like, shut up, let's watch that. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like, you know, here's what's going on, right? It's what happens. What?

[Chris Hoadley]

The kids.

[Brian Greene]

The kids. I'm gonna kill them again. Oh, my God, they killed it. Oh, What? Ah, they're. They're done for. These kids.

[Chris Hoadley]

They love that thing.

[Brian Greene]

They do love this thing. You wouldn't even know. You don't even know. These kids love the megaphone.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I would love it, too.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of course.

[Brian Greene]

Here's how it goes. Ready? Damn kids. I'm gonna. I'm taking them out of school. I'm gonna be sanding my deck for the next three weeks.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. They're like Capcom, go, yeah, we got a C1 7 sensor on the sensor. And I'm like, oh, my God, they got a C1 sensor on the overload. Holy shit. And you're like, I don't know what they said, but it really sounded important. And what it really means is the shitter's backed up. Can we get a plunger? Plunger in the shitter. It's like a whole. They do a whole dance with. They say things in weird ways, and I love it. It just reminds me of all the movies that I just enjoy about space, like Apollo 11 and Apollo 13. Excuse me, Apollo 11. Apollo 13. 11 went fine. 13, not so much.

[Chris Hoadley]

Contact is one of my favorites.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, contact is great, huh? Contact is great. We're going to see. Tonight we are going to go see Project Hail Mary.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, I've been reading.

[Brian Greene]

Excited about that. Yeah. We got some free tickets from a friend to go see a movie, which is a very kind gesture, knowing that we have so many children who can't ever go see a movie, but it's almost three hours long. But I really like the premise of this movie, and I'm hearing it's super spectacular. But anyway, so I'm watching this whole thing. They're going back and forth. You know, they got this bus B overload and the sensor two down and the battery overheating and nominal and all this. All these words they're using, and I'm just glued to the tv, and it's just one image of this rocket just sitting there with smoke coming out of it.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know, it's exciting.

[Brian Greene]

It really was.

[Chris Hoadley]

When I got in the car yesterday, after we finished the show, I happened to turn it on npr and they were talking all about it, and it was very interesting. I mean, there's like a whole. It's stages. This is a whole thing that they. They already did. First stage.

[Brian Greene]

Yep.

[Chris Hoadley]

Now this is the second stage. And that's just to see if they can stay alive.

[Brian Greene]

Just get there. Yeah. Go to the backside of the moon, circle around.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. As they orbit.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. I'm not volunteering for that job. Would you volunteer for stage two? Or we just want to see if we can keep going. No.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right. That's what I was listening. I was like, really? And they're like, yeah, it's just to see if they can stay alive.

[Brian Greene]

So I'm trying to explain to. To the children, Right. And two of them are older and one of them would have no idea what was going on. But one of them is really fascinated by the idea of space and space travel. And we always like to watch, like, videos of shuttles blasting. Old videos of rockets and shuttles blasting. You know, I'm like, here, this is called the Challenger. Watch this one, kids. It makes a big fireball. So I'm trying to explain. And they say, well, they're going to the moon for 10 days. And I said, they're not going to the moon for 10 days. It's going to take them 10 days to get there and back.

[Chris Hoadley]

Back.

[Brian Greene]

And they. And he said, well, no, my teacher told me it's going to take 10 days. And I said, no, they're not going to be on the moon. They're actually not going to the moon. They're going very close to the moon. They're going to be within 3, 30 or 40,000ft, which is really close. Right. That's like an airplane flies.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. And they're going to see a part of the moon no one has seen

[Brian Greene]

before, the dark side of the moon. And they're going to scan it and they're going to. Someone explained this to the. On the. On the NASA channel. I thought that was a good one. Is if you're going to go camping in a new spot you've never gone camping before, you're not going to show up there at night and just hope everything turns out okay. You're going to look at Google Maps. You're going to hope that you're going to make sure there's water near or there's the things that you need. They are going to get prepared for the big. Let's go to the dark side of the moon.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And see if we can find water, which then we can use for hydrogen, which then we can use for fuel so we can stop on the way to Mars, which is the whole goal. I love it. I love the idea of this. And while the moon feels like something you can reach out and touch when you're looking at it at night, it is four fucking days away, traveling at 15,000 miles per hour like a bullet. It's crazy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's so true. And it's been a full moon recently. It was like, yesterday and today full moon.

[Brian Greene]

So it makes me wish I had a fucking telescope that I could. But I couldn't see anything anyway. I'm too close to the city. But it makes me wish I had a telescope because I'm sure some people. I should look on YouTube. I bet there's people out there.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's gonna be a stream of something.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, there's guys out there who are following the rocket as it heads off to the moon, but they're gonna use the Earth's gravity and then they're gonna slingshot over to the moon. Yeah, and then they're gonna use the moon's gravity to slingshot back down to Earth.

[Chris Hoadley]

Straight to the.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, straight into the ocean. That's right. No soft landing for these guys. They're going straight into the ocean. What a pair of fucking balls on these people, man. I'll tell you what, I just. I don't. I didn't know anything about anything about any of them until yesterday during the stream, when I started to pay attention to the bios and when they were talking and motivations and their preparations and all this. What a fucking huge hairy set of balls on each one of them, honestly. First black person to ever go to the moon. First woman to go to the moon, first Canadian to go to the moon. And then white guy, because you gotta have a white guy, right? Everything has a white guy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Every podcast, every space travel, it's all gonna have white guy. Keep things in line. You know, we got to keep that weird hierarchy going on. So the white guy's gonna go there, but the moon dudes and the moon chick, they are on their way. And I am super excited about. I didn't think I'd be so excited, but I was really excited.

[Chris Hoadley]

Me, too. And I started following the woman on Instagram. There's a news story I was reading, and it was like, here's her Instagram.

[Brian Greene]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

So I started following her to see if she's gonna be posting anything. They're taking their phones and they're using the cameras.

[Brian Greene]

They're using the cameras and they're going to use, I think, Starlink to relay some of that information down. They're going to use some of those spy satellites that I'm sure that we don't know about. They say Starlink, but I'm sure it's spy satellites that they're using because I don't think they're going to let you know photos of the dark side of the moon go through Starlink. Yeah. But I will say this. That rocket that they had, that fucking Artemis rocket that's on that thing is just incredibly powerful. I mean. Yeah. Biggest rocket ever built, ever blasted off. And the crazy thing is. And that I didn't know is that they used the tires from the last rocket. Did you know that?

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I didn't.

[Brian Greene]

They used the rocket. I guess I don't know what you call them. Like the.

[Chris Hoadley]

The balls.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, the balls. The ball bearings. You know, the things that hang off. Yeah, it's all about balls. They use the nuts of the other one. You know those things that hang off the back. The rocket things. The boosters. The boosters. Yeah, the boosters. The things where the shit comes out, the fire comes out. Right. They used three of them from the space shuttle. They just use them. They just repurpose them. And the fourth one was rebuilt from the shuttle. I don't know. I'm going. And I'm not. They're not even sure I'm going to make it. And they're like, hey, we're using tires from the last car. I mean, I don't know, I'm just. I might be a little bit nervous.

[Chris Hoadley]

Recycling.

[Brian Greene]

So I agree with you. Well, they're trying to save some money. Every. Almost every. Every continent on Earth participated in making this happen. Almost every country on Earth in some way, shape or form had a hand in making this happen. Hundreds of thousands of people. And you can imagine how many years of hard work and preparation. And this just. It excites me in this sense. You know, they talk about the great space generation, like the 60s and 70s, when these guys and girls were doing things that just seemed impossible on computers that are no. Have no more computing power than your average calculator. And they were getting people to the moon and they were saving them. I know in. I went to the Houston Space center.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

With my kids. When I went and go. Visited Gustavo, who's living there right now in la. And we went there and I did not think. I mean, I thought it was going to be interesting, but I didn't think I'd be as interested as I ended up being at. And I am interested in space. But we went to. We went in and took a tour of the campus, which is huge. And there are hundreds of buildings, I'm sure. And that Capcom. Like the Houston Space center, like where they actually direct the all. You know, where all the things happen like they're driving the ship and they're paying attention to it. All that happens in Houston. They take off in Florida and there is a communications center there. But once it gets in the air, it all goes to Houston. Right. And it's always been that way, by the way.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, at the. Houston, we have a problem.

[Brian Greene]

Houston, we have a problem.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're always communicating with Houston building in and of it.

[Brian Greene]

And they do have launch pads out in Houston too. And when you see the size of those things and how far away you have to be from one to be safe, it's a miles. I mean it's not even, you're not even pretend close. And they're huge. But the building in and of itself is a feat of engineering. It's 30 stories in the air. It's huge that you know where they can put the rockets and pay attention to them.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right, Christian, that's fascinating.

[Brian Greene]

This is a, this is really a testament to mankind and how cool we

[Chris Hoadley]

can be when we want to be,

[Brian Greene]

when we want to be. How we can come together and do

[Chris Hoadley]

something we do together. Yes.

[Brian Greene]

And we are doing this in the hopes that we can have a better understanding of our little tiny corner of the universe and maybe save ourselves someday from the nightmare that we have created in some sense or maybe, you know, have some perspective on how wonderful we have it down here on Earth. Either way, it's a win win for humanity. And you know, I just hope no one in that spaceship dies while they're trying to do it. That's all I'm going to say. Because it's dangerous shit, man. Dangerous shit. There's a reason why we haven't been back. The reason why we haven't been back is to go to deep space, to go past a certain line is not, it's not friendly to any kind of life. And that's why we haven't gone back. It's, you know, we went what, 13 times or something? 13, 15 times we went to the moon and we had it down. We had it licked. You've seen Apollo 13 by this, by the third flight after we first got to the moon, no one here on Earth was interested. Everyone was like, turn on the baseball game. Yeah, turn on the baseball game, we're going to the moon. So they, it lost its luster. People lost their excitement for the idea of going to the moon. It seemed like, it seemed like we could just do this like riding an elevator, take me to the 12th floor. But that's not at all what goes on. It is extraordinarily dangerous. Anything can happen at any time. And these people are risking their lives in the pursuit of a better humanity. And I just, I hate to wax poetic, but that's the way I feel about it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, no, I completely agree. It's. It's amazing. It really is amazing. And where, and where exactly is the space station in relation to space station's

[Brian Greene]

moving around the Earth?

[Chris Hoadley]

It is, that's right.

[Brian Greene]

It's above the. The meridian line or something like that. It's above a line, so.

[Chris Hoadley]

Because that's mostly where humans have been going.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, that's it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

And some, I think space shuttle missions went a little further beyond that, but that the space shuttle was meant to be in low Earth orbit. Right. And so it's not. And what happens is, I watch this is, you know, we've all seen like how. We've all seen the experiments of like the science professor teacher who's teaching the kids about gravity.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And they have this big rubber piece of rubber, like a sheet, and then they put a big ball, heavy, you know, whatever it is, bowling ball in the middle of it, and then they throw it, they roll a baseball around and the ball just keeps spinning around. It's falling, it's always falling towards something that's heavier, but then it's spinning or it's orbiting it at the same time. And that is what the space station is locked in this. Always falling toward Earth but spinning around. And every once in a blue moon, the space station boosts itself up a little bit so that it corrects, you know, so that it stays in the air, essentially. But one day the space station is going to fall down to Earth. And that's. I think they're already planning for that. Like in the next 10 years, it's going to be done. They're going to bring it back down. But that is essentially what people do when they go into low Earth orbit, is that, yes, they're in space. No doubt about it. You're in space. You can't just walk out of your capsule and have a good day. And if you walk out of your capsule, you're not falling back down to Earth with a parachute.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a lot of experiments, right?

[Brian Greene]

That's a lot of experiments. A lot of experiments, A lot of spy shit, A lot of, you know, communication satellites. They're mainly doing it for private, public industry. And that is what has guided NASA for the last 30, 40 years, is that public, private participation that gives them the money to do what they're going to do. So they could do experiments, but then gives private industry and governments the ability to put stuff in space, essentially. But now. But deep space exploration, which this isn't even really technically deep space. The moon isn't. But it's past a certain line where life just becomes very. It's not. There's nothing friendly to life at all, including the radiation from the sun, the space junk, the, you know, rocks falling from the asteroid belt. I mean, it's all. Nothing is easy about this. And the moon dudes. And the moon chick said, yeah, I volunteer, I'll do that. Sure, why not? I'll go up there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Speaking of space junk, I was reading that they had to time it to where they were able to miss space junk. Yeah, there's so much shit like out there.

[Brian Greene]

And I watched something and they breezed over it and I wish they hadn't, but they said, what are they going to do when they're in this first rotation around Earth waiting for the slingshot? And they said, well, we do this specifically so that they can practice some maneuvers and including emergencies. What are we doing in an emergency that you can only replicate up there? You can't do it down here. Right. You got to do it when there's weightlessness so that you can time yourself and figure out how to maneuver. And I get that. Right. There's only. There's only so much that you can replicate in a pool or up in a plane falling, you know, anti gravity for like 30 seconds.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

And one of the things they practice is taking certain items around the spacecraft and putting it in certain places in case there is a solar flare event, the old solar flare, where the radiation could harm the astronauts inside of the craft or do damage to the equipment. So they would take these certain pieces of other equipment that is thick, heavy, or radiation proof. Ish. And they would put it in certain places so that radiation couldn't enter the spacecraft. Holy fucking shit. Let's practice for a radiation event. Oh my God.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's part of the staying alive mission.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, it's insane. You gotta practice to stay alive, man. I'm in awe. I'm in awe of these human beings.

[Chris Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Greene]

I'm in awe of the whole thing. And then you listen. Part of the reason, I think what gets me excited about listening to all the tapes, technical bullshit back and forth is because it is so incredibly complicated that a battery that overheated just went a couple degrees past what it normally is for five fucking seconds. Almost put an end to the entire thing. They almost said, we are so Nervous that one single battery out of a million in there just heating up just a little bit is the. Could mean life or death. So we're considering doing so. One dude on the battery team could just put a stop to the whole thing. And I guess that's what you have to do if you're in this industry, is you have to be able to raise your hand. After the Challenger and all the other Columbia and all the other disasters going all the way back to, you know, the Apollo missions, I'm sure that you have to be able to raise your hand and say out loud, I'm not sure my shit's working okay, right? And I'm not going to just let this thing take off and put people

[Chris Hoadley]

and hope that it works.

[Brian Greene]

And hope that it works. But it appears so far it has. And that is a testament to all that hard work and all those people paying real close attention to the shit that may not like if it's me, right? I get in the car, a sensor comes on, and yellow light starts flashing. I'm like, I got another 100 miles right? You know what I'm saying? Little yellow light goes on with those people. And they're Capcom, you know, stop the countdown. We're out. Everyone, duck. It's like, you got to get them out of the shuttle. And all the procedures that they have. Like, they were telling, check, check, double

[Chris Hoadley]

check, check, check, double check.

[Brian Greene]

And they go around the room so many times just to make sure. And they talked about that battery, the shitter, the sensor. They talked about that they stopped the clock at 10 minutes. If you watched it, you know, they stopped the clock at 10 minutes, which is normal. They always do that, by the way. There's a window of four hours, four or five hours where they can get where they need to get. They can, you know, point it in a direction and get to the moon. So they have four or five hours every 10 days or whatever it is. And they go around the room. They stop the clock, and they go around the room and they talk about anything that's gone wrong, anything you've seen out of the ordinary. And they're checking, essentially. So when they're going, you know, capcom, you know, check for Capcom. Capcom, go. You know, check for flight. Flight, go. You know, they're asking, anything you saw that I need to be concerned about. And they check and they double check. And there's like four different people that the hierarchy goes. It goes from, like, director to flight to, you know, the management at NASA and then the final flight director who says, yeah, okay, go. And they go around that horn at 10 minutes, and they talk through anything they saw that was wrong. And they talked through it. And you heard them talking through it. Yeah, this is what we saw. And then they ask the other person, is that what you saw? Yes, that's what I saw. Is it nominal? Are we within the range? Can we go, you know, or. How are you feeling about this? And you heard him talk through their reasoning. And while I don't understand a word that they said, I heard in their voices, they felt a degree of confidence that this is just a. A blip. It's a blip, and we're still within the tolerances. And it's nominal now. And we can go. Right? And then they go and they like that thing. And holy, man, that is one big, powerful dick riding to the sky. I loved it. I loved every minute of it. I feel like a man. I'm like, usa. Oh.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's the other thing, too. They were talking this story that I was listening to, and they were saying, you know, it's a race, too. We're trying to get there first, get to the moon first and start doing what we want to do on it.

[Brian Greene]

Building.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, building. And whoever gets there first gets to do it.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Because, you know, the Chinese went to the moon recently, and they didn't tell anybody until after they were there. They were like, ah, we went to the moon. We're up here. And the people were like, really? I mean, I'm sure somebody in the CIA knew or someone, you know, knew that something was heading toward the moon, but it was. They kept it secretive.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, we're trying to beat China, that's for sure.

[Brian Greene]

This is For All Mankind playing out in live time. Have you watched For All Mankind the show?

[Chris Hoadley]

I have not, but I've got to hear. It's really good.

[Brian Greene]

You should watch it. Yeah, it's a little. It's one of those shows where you got to, like, suspend disbelief on, like, three times an episode. But if you can do that, it is a alternate version of what happened if. If the Russians went first.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, that's right. You told me about that.

[Brian Greene]

Right. And then it just starts this incredible space race. And now we're in the 90s, I think. So it goes. So there's five season, four seasons, and each season covers, like, a decade. And now we're in the 90s. 90s or early 2000, something like that. And there's, you know, presidents that got elected or didn't get elected and new characters. You got to watch it. It's pretty fascinating, actually. And the new season just started and I fucking hate that Apple does. Now we broke TV and now we're back to tv. What the fuck is going on? We broke TV and now we're back to one a week. Now we're back to appointment television.

[Chris Hoadley]

Netflix is the only one that does it.

[Brian Greene]

And even they, even they do appointment TV too, on some of their shows.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, they've broken them up.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Because they know this is what are we doing. Why is everyone watching at one time? Let's get to drag it out, you know, we need people to keep their subscriptions. So let's, let's put it out two weeks later. That way they'll have one more month of paying for the service. Of course, now Apple has a, you know, 10 episode season and I gotta wait every fucking Friday to watch the new episode. Fuck that.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know. I hate that, too.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, same with Top Chef. Can we just put Top Chef on? Not new Top Chef season and the culinary cup. Have you seen that?

[Chris Hoadley]

I have not.

[Brian Greene]

All right, let's chat about it. And then I also wanna, I wanna go back to a series that I'm rewatching now that I think we all need to pay attention to at this time in our. And that is HBO's Chernobyl, which is so fucking fantastic on the second watch. All the details that I missed on the first watch. It was so good. Do you ever watch that?

[Chris Hoadley]

I did, Yeah, I watched that.

[Brian Greene]

You should rewatch it. It's fascinating and it is a cautionary tale for all mankind. And I had no idea until I watched that series for the first time just how disastrous Chernobyl really was. Like, really bad for not for just Russia, for Earth in general. Anyway. All right, let's take a break and, yeah, we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text, we'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

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[Starbucks Boyfriend Song Singer]

I walked in the door to grab a latte I paid $10, heard Ariana Grande. But then I saw him and his big dog I felt my knees weak here came the brain fog. And though I'm not gay you make me feel that way I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend. All my toes curl, all the feels come. My world of gold you are my shining sun. We love to talk sports and swimming pools you like the patio, I like the bar stools. And we spill tea and we crochet the other tables. Might think we're gay I don't really care I hope it never ends. You're my best star but boyfriend. And though we're still straight you make me feel a certain way. I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend. And though I'm not gay you make me feel. I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend. And though I'm not gay you make me feel away. I hope it never ends.

[Brian Greene]

Stupid.

[Starbucks Boyfriend Song Singer]

My new Starbucks boyfriend.

[Chris Hoadley]

How is the Starbucks boyfriend?

[Brian Greene]

Well, I was just going to talk about him. He is at French Laundry tonight. Check that out. Yeah, he. He did a. You know, the Starbucks boyfriend. He's, He's. He's got. He's a man of means. He's been very successful in his life and he sold a couple companies, so he does all right for himself. And he has a Lamborghini and a.

[Chris Hoadley]

That is what you always say.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, he's got a Lamborghini SUV which is a beautiful car, by the way. And anyway, he's done okay for himself. He went to a, like a charity auction that he goes to that he attends. And they had. They were bidding on four nights in Napa.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Like the silent auction, French laundry, special treatment. A whole nine yards. And then he's also going to another Thomas Keller restaurant that just got open like a, like with a. A Japanese chef. And so apparently it's like sushi and America, you know, like a mix.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love that Asian flair.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. So he says. I'm really excited actually about French Laundry because I've never been. It's on my bucket list. But I'm also really excited to go to the other Thomas Keller restaurant because of course. Why wouldn't you be excited to go to the Thomas Keller restaurant? And then they're gonna go do Napa for a couple days and then they're going to Sedona, where he's never been. He's like, I'm really excited to see the Painted Mountains. I'm like, yeah, you can do an ayahuasca ceremony while you're there too.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right. We can hook you up with people.

[Brian Greene]

There's the I have money side of Sedona, and then there's the I just hitchhiked here side of Sedona. Yeah, both are interesting. I'm sure.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's so true.

[Brian Greene]

Sedona is an interesting place. And it's a. It's definitely a tale of two cities for sure. And they, they do mix in some ways, but in some ways they do not at all. It's a bunch of old hippies and young hippies that are trying to make their way in the world, you know, living on. Living in a tent out in the desert. Desert. And then there's, you know, a Ritz Carlton.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. There's like some high end spas and wellness retreats, things out there.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I went there for a conference one time and what did I stay at? I can't remember. Super high end hotel. Was it a Five Seasons, maybe? And it was Four Seasons. Four Seasons. Five Seasons. No, it was a five Season. That's how good it was. Yeah. And it was a sprawl sprawling over the Painted Mountains in the desert. It was sprawling. And the room I got was sprawling. I was at a conference. Like private equity guys. When I worked in real estate, I paid a ton of money to be a sponsor. Like, you know, a lot of money to be a sponsor.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And they hooked me up with a room and transportation and all this Other stuff. It was all very nicely done. A lot of money rolling in that room, in and out of the room. But I will share this, that the room that I got was also beautiful. It was gorgeous. It was a Four Seasons room, if I'm remembering this correctly. And when I got in the room, they had this huge patio. It was on the second floor. It was only a two story hotel, but it was sprawling and they had these huge rooms and then this huge patio with these loungers out where you could get some sun, I would imagine. So I opened the door and then I lay down.

[Chris Hoadley]

Perfect for you.

[Brian Greene]

It's gorgeous. I love to open the door. Yeah. Like a tan. Yeah. I will open the door anywhere we go. Astrid hates it. I love it. We're on a cruise. I want the door open the entire time we're at a hotel. I want the door open. I like, I don't know, just vacationy, right? I'm in vacation with the breeze. Yeah, the breeze blowing. But you know, Sedona, it's just hot as.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

At least it was when I was there. So I opened the door and then I laid down and I'm, you know, I just gotten in the room and I'm watching TV or doing whatever, and I get up to take a shower and, you know, I'm like in my shorts and I get up to take a shower and I take a step down and there, inches from me is a scorpion about this big. And I was like, ah, ah. And then there's. I read this. I, like, go to close the door. And as I'm closing the door, like behind the curtain is this sign on the window. Yeah. It said, be mindful of keeping the doors open. You know, there's scorpions and snakes and all kind of shit that can get in, in your room. So I had to call someone to scoot. Scoot it out. Yeah. The guy came up and like picked it up by its tail.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

Threw it out the window. Yeah. He's like, there you go, bud. He's like, those aren't the poisonous kind. And I' all poisonous, I think. And he's like, yeah, it won't kill you. It'll just hurt. I said, okay. I'm not. I'm not interested in figuring that one out on my own. Thanks. I'm at the Five Seasons. I need that kind of treatment.

[Chris Hoadley]

Five star service.

[Brian Greene]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

So did you see the Painted Mountains? Is that.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, I saw the Painted Mountains. I went up on the trails. I went into one of the national parks. I. I Did a lot of stuff except for go to the conference. I mean, I spoke at the conference, but it was such a small conference. It was like 200, 300 people there. And so, yes, I went. I went to the conference, like in the morning. I spoke at one of the panels. It was three days long. I think I attended like a total of four hours of events. I also went to a party out there that was interesting.

[Chris Hoadley]

Party in the desert. Yeah, it was a party in the woods.

[Brian Greene]

It was a party at someone's house in the desert. And that house was huge. It was all these private equity guys, I'm sure doing a bunch of cocaine. I wasn't, but sure doing a bunch of cocaine. It was interesting. The whole thing was interesting. But anyway, that's where he's at. He's going to be doing Napa and then Sedona, and I wish him well. You know, he's going to be gone for 10 days. What do I do? I don't know. But I was gone too last week.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, right.

[Brian Greene]

He just texted me the whole time. He's like, how's it going up there? I think he was lonely. He's like, hey, what you doing? Driving. What are you doing?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, you had time.

[Brian Greene]

Lots and lots of time. Yeah. Speaking of French laundry, the culinary is. This is a great segue. We didn't even try and we had one. The culinary cup. America's culinary cup is the new series on CBS starring Padma Lakshmi and. And I love Padma.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I think Padma was such an important part of Top Chef that when she decided to leave, I thought, top shelves is going to fall apart or it's not going to be the same. Now I give Kristen, who's the new chef, the new host on Top Chef. She's really good, and I think she has done a good job of making me miss Padma. Less so. When Padma announced that she was doing the culinary cup, I thought, okay, she's doing Top Chef on another network essentially. But then they explained that, no, this is going to be like a more like numbers based competition, so more of a sporting event. And we're still going to have the best chefs in the world and we're still going to do these challenges and it's not going to be like Top Chef, but it's exactly like Top Chef. That's exactly what it is, in my opinion. Yes. They score the contestants individually rather than looking at all the dishes and having this kind of blind judging, you know, talking it over and seeing who did the best. I think that's what's special about Top Chef is that Tom and Gail and all the. Whoever the guest judges are, they sit and they talk it over.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I like that too.

[Brian Greene]

They have to democratically come to a decision that makes sense in that moment. Now, that is very subjective. Very subjective. But so is scoring a dish. You know what I'm saying? Like, scoring a dish is no less subjective because it's your palate. It's your own palate. That's right. You know, is it sweet? Is it salty? Is it original? Is it creative? Has it been done, all that stuff? Yes. You can give them scores and then say, whoever gets the top score wins. But that is exactly the same thing as talking it out. Exactly the same thing. You're just not. You're just not arguing with each other. You're arguing with yourself in the score. And so for me, it's the exact same as Top Chef, But I. There are some differences. I think they focus less on the creative process of making a dish where Top Chef really focuses on the creative process of making a dish. Both of them stay out of the drama. They stay way away from the drama. You do not see for the most part. And I think this is the. This is part of the keys to the kingdom when it comes to Top Chef and why it is the best and classiest reality show on television and has been for 20 years.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, they're not fighting.

[Brian Greene]

They made it. Yeah, they made a decision. They used to. In the first five seasons, they focused on what was happening in the house, who was fighting with who, who was fucking who, who was getting angry at who they fo. They would spend a lot of time in the rooms with these people and less so on the food. But at season number five or six, I don't know when it was, at some point, there was a creative decision made, and they almost started showing none of it. They sometimes show them getting ready in the morning, and, you know, maybe they're talking to the camera or whatever, but they never, ever focus on the internal drama that's going on. Must be going on. Yeah. Inside of it. And so I think that's why I really love the show. You can just watch it, and they're just cooking. That's all they're doing. And I have no idea how to cook, so all of this fascinates me. It's very exciting. I love to think that someday maybe I could cook. That's what I keep thinking in my head every time.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love to cook.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I know you do. You can, though. That's the problem. I Can't. So I'd love to watch these shows and imagine myself someday just going to the store, picking out 10 ingredients and whipping up something delicious for Tom.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, you can do it. It just takes practice. Just have to start.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, I just have to start doing it at my tender age. I got plenty of Runway.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And the other thing is, and I will say this, is that I also do the same thing with golf. Sometimes I watch Tiger woods and I'm like, someday I'm going to swing the club.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, just like that.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe not Tiger anymore.

[Brian Greene]

No, I think Tiger's done. Yeah, I think Tiger's done. Well. He sent it off to rehab, which is, you know, step one of the publicity. I'm sorry that he's. That's. I'm sorry. Tour that he's going to have to go on. But I really hope he gets the help this time anyway. Culinary Cup, Top Chef. Both on at the same time. Both on in the same night at the same time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Are you serious?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I think so.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're competing with each other at the same time, same night.

[Brian Greene]

Why not? I wouldn't do it, but I think that's what's going on. And Top Chef gives away a huge prize. It's like half a million dollars, you know, Food and Wine Festival, you know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, That's a big deal.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, it's a big deal. The very. The very. It's very prestigious. Being a Top Chef winner gets you instantly one or two restaurants. It gets you investors in those restaurants.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sure.

[Brian Greene]

It gets your name in every food and wine magazine, and you're looked at as a serious, real chef. Will Culinary cup do the same? They certainly. The chefs that are there certainly have the bonafides. They're, you know, they're Michelin star winners, most of them. So they're not these, you know, they're not home chefs coming to win. But that prize is $1 million, and that is a lot of fucking money for a reality show competition. Which other reality show gives away a million? Like Survivor, I think. I guess million dollar prize.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, I can't think of one.

[Brian Greene]

What's going on with Survivor? Why are we still doing that?

[Chris Hoadley]

Watching that? No, no, I hate that.

[Brian Greene]

Not that I hate the show. I just don't care for it. I'm not interested in watching people take coconuts and make baskets in bikinis while clearly they need some food in their bellies.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Greene]

Emaciated.

[Chris Hoadley]

And start to look so bad.

[Brian Greene]

Sunburns. Yeah. And just looking like.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then it's all the, you know, outmaneuvering of who's who and alliances and things.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, they, they all look like Tom Hanks and Cast Away and they're making friends with coconuts and. Yeah, we're all watching it. Like, you know, I don't watch it. No, I don't watch that show either,

[Chris Hoadley]

but it's still going strong after like 25 seasons or something.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, who's that host?

[Chris Hoadley]

What's his name? I don't know, but I saw a little think about him one time.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I think like 5 years ago

[Chris Hoadley]

he's been on it like the entire.

[Brian Greene]

I know. I think he got like five years first.

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe the first or second year he wasn't.

[Brian Greene]

But yeah, yeah, he's been with it the whole time. He has not stuck his foot in his mouth like a lot of the other hosts of long time series like the Bachelor, like who is that guy?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well then the Bachelorette, they just pulled the whole thing.

[Brian Greene]

That is an insane story. Yeah, it's an insane story. Not because I'm particularly interested in the story, but it's insane that ABC and Disney with all their lawyers and all their background checking and all their probably private security that knows exactly how to get every story that ever. I mean these. Disney is probably a corporation with a lot of power and information. Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know it.

[Brian Greene]

You can't hide something from Disney. They are probably like the Secret Service. They will talk to your third grade teacher about your grades and they will talk to the nun about how many times you masturbated. Do you know what I'm saying? They're gonna figure that shit out. And it was public knowledge on TM fucking Z two years ago that this girl had physically assaulted her boyfriend at the time with her child in the room. But they still decided to make her the Bachelorette. And only after the video came out did they say, well, this isn't conducive with our standards. Well, was it conducive with your standards two years ago?

[Chris Hoadley]

I think they were just trying to get away with it until it was resurfaced and then there was public outrage.

[Brian Greene]

And what's so special about her? Why her?

[Chris Hoadley]

She was on the Mormon. Something about, okay, I tried to watch the Mormon wives, you know, me and the Housewives. Anyway, so I was like, okay, good. A new reality show with these Mormon wives. I guess they were famous on TikTok and the social medias.

[Brian Greene]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

For their lifestyle.

[Brian Greene]

There's a big Mormon mom community that everybody loves.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly. So then I guess they decided to give him a show. But when I watched the show, I was like, oh, this is bad. I couldn't watch it.

[Brian Greene]

It was Secret Life of Mormon Moms or something. Mormon Wives. Yeah. Yeah. There's like, two shows. The reality. Like the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, there's that, but that's totally separate.

[Brian Greene]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, this was.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it. It doesn't seem. None of it seems Mormon to me. I don't know. I mean, I know Mormons, and none of this seems Mormon to me, but I get that there's this big trad wife kind of vibe that goes on on TikTok and Instagram that people go crazy for. They're getting millions and millions of followers and views and all this other stuff. It's it. But, you know, if someone is. Is accused or found guilty of domestic violence, they probably should not be the Bachelor. Bachelorette, no matter what.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

There's other Mormon wives you can turn to. Do you know what I'm. Or Mormon single people you can turn to. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. It's strange.

[Brian Greene]

Or Mormon Wives. Who cares if you pick up one more wife?

[Chris Hoadley]

Did they film the whole season?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I. I don't. I don't know. I don't know if they filmed the whole season because they said they were stopping production.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay. So maybe it was halfway filmed or something. I mean, they filmed a lot of it, I think.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Whatever they did, they've spent a lot of money.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I wouldn't be surprised if abc, I don't know, take some kind of legal action against. I don't know who knows all that, how all that stuff works, but to scrap an entire season of one of the more popular shows on your network. But I also read somewhere in, like, the reality television world.

[Chris Hoadley]

Trades.

[Brian Greene]

Trades. Yeah, like reality star.com or whatever, that Bachelor and Bachelorette have been around for a very long time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And that there are other dating shows that are kind of stealing their thunder. Like, it's been around for a long time. And the format's a little worn out. Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't watch it anymore.

[Brian Greene]

I don't. Astrid used to watch it, and I would get stuck, like, walk in the room, and I get stuck watching.

[Chris Hoadley]

Watch the first couple episodes. Then you're hooked.

[Brian Greene]

You're hooked up. Right. But she doesn't watch it anymore. Now she's onto other stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

She's on the, like, Netflix love series.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Greene]

Can't get into it. I'm like, I love you. Babe. But I'm not. I can't.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I refuse to do Love is Blind. We've made that pact.

[Brian Greene]

Nope, didn't watch it. Even when all the drama was being. They were talking about all the drama on all the trade rags. They were tickling my tank out there.

[Chris Hoadley]

I said, no, watch me.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, watch me. It's so good this year, all the drama. But I know I'm gonna be disappointed by all of it. I'm gonna sit through hours of conversation that don't mean anything. People that don't get married and drama that is clearly manufactured. And that's the same thing with those people. Netflix knows how to do a background check. And yet you got some of the. And I know they do this on purpose. They throw these mentally unstable human beings on there on purpose to cause drama, and then they follow them closely, put a producer with them to, you know, tickle their taints so that everyone gets all wound up and they have a show on their hands, right? It's. It's clearly that. Maybe not the first season or two, maybe they're trying to be somewhat altruistic, but now it's just there. And then my, you know, Married at First Sight. It's not even on TV anymore. Now it's on. You gotta watch it on streaming. Fuck that. I'm not gonna go watch Married at First Sight on my computer. What kind of loser do you think I am? I'll watch it on my TV in the shower. In the shower. Well, I didn't think about that. I guess I could put it on my phone. Now you've got. Now you're tickling my tanks. Yeah, there you go. All right. Okay, we'll take a break, and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] the commercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Greene]

I love our fans. Our fans are the best. I was telling Chrissy that I was at the here yesterday in the phone buzz to the studio, and it was someone. And they were like, hey, can you see I'm here? Can you see my comments? See my. And I'm like, what? So I respond. I'm like, excuse me, I'm here. I'm watching the show. Can you see I'm talking? And I was like, I. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, we weren't on. We weren't live at that time.

[Brian Greene]

And they said, what are you talking about? And they sent me a link to a video that we had posted, like, three weeks ago on YouTube. And they were commenting down under, and they thought we were alive. I'm not busting your balls. Hey, listen, there was a time. Thank you for watching. I said, thank you for the view. I'll take it. That's your one of three. So we'll take those views. But it was just funny to me that, you know, our audience was. They wanted to get so engaged in the show, they had to reach out, not only text here, but then text there, too. Like, hey, can you see my text? It's like my mom, when she calls, you know, hi. Hi, Mom. I'm just calling to see if you saw my text. I did see your text. Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

That was it.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, that's it. Mom, the whole point of texting is not to follow up with a phone call. You know what I'm saying? You got to figure that part out. It's. You know. But we're all learning, I suppose.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

Like, Astrid said today, hey, can you ask the neighbor if they have a sander? And I said, what? And she can you ask the neighbor if they have a sander? And for months, she's been talking about sanding the back deck, which is painted with, you know, outdoor deck paint, like a gray color. And after time, over time starts to crack and peel and look terrible. And it's not. It's not 100 there, but it's 50 of the way. It's not looking great, but it's not looking terrible either. And I said, yeah, I want to get that done, too. And I said, well, I. I don't have. You know, I'm sure that there's a sander somewhere. And she said, I'm going to have Gustavo who's in town. She said, I'm going to have Gustavo sand the deck.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I'm like, a hand sander.

[Brian Greene]

And I'm like, babe, it's going to take Gustavo years to hand sand the deck. Like, and do you know how much money we're going to spend in sandpaper? We're going to need a box of sandpaper, like, every foot and a half. We're going to have to change the sandpaper. And she says, oh, well, you know, he could do it.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's got the time.

[Brian Greene]

He's got the time. No, he does not. So then I saw him out there with the power washer.

[Chris Hoadley]

I've got to go see this.

[Brian Greene]

And I'm like, I don't think that's going to work either. But, you know, hey, you'll ruin the wood. But that's all right. He can do it. Listen, that's why I love having Gustavo and Ally in town. We get a little break from the kids. You know, there's moments where we can take a little breath. At least have like a breath every once in a while. When you're in the room and you're a parent, you're always the parent. That's just the rule of raising children. If you think just because, you know, grandparents are in the room, or aunts or uncles in the room, you can take a break. You can every once in a blue moon. But you're always the parent. They're always going to come to you. They want the drink, they go to the. Go to the bathroom. They got to do the thing. They need to wipe their butts, whatever it is. You're always going to be the person who does that. But it's nice to have them because first of all, the kids love it. They love it. They love when their aunt and uncle is in town. And second of all, there are. There is moments when you can kind of like grab some spacing from the children. And that's wonderful too. But then the thing. Then the other reason is they can do shit around. Gustavo can do shit around the house.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, he is Daniel's son.

[Brian Greene]

He is Daniel's son. And while he's not as handy as Daniel, he is more handy than I am. So there's a middle ground. Some middle ground there for sure. Like there was a light switch that's been broken in the house for, I don't, two weeks, right. And the light switch is stuck on. On, so. And I am not an electrical engineer. I don't like fooling with electricity myself. Last time I did, I almost set the pool shed on. I did set the pool shed on fire, actually.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Greene]

I don't think that was my fault. But, you know, I'm sure I had. I don't think it was my direct fault, but I'm sure I had some hand in it. And so I just don't like messing with it. And then I was looking at switches online and I saw the switch was like 48 bucks. And I'm like, 48 fucking dollars that it's like a dual switch. Like a special dual switch. And I'm like, wow, that's really expensive. I don't know. Just leave it on, I guess. Just leave it on. And then the other day, I walked into the room and I noticed it was off. And Astrid had been flipping the breaker to turn it off.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, right.

[Brian Greene]

But what we failed to realize, it's up for our pantry. Okay, so we can close. We can close the door. And the light is off, essentially. Right? You close the door. Yeah, yeah, it's on, but it's off. It's like a refrigerator.

[Chris Hoadley]

Out of sight.

[Brian Greene]

Right. But what we failed to notice as we were turning the breaker on and off at night when we would go to bed is that just like, a refrigerator door. There is a refrigerator in the pantry. Oh. So we were turning off the refrigerator.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, no.

[Brian Greene]

Astrid said she flipped it off one night when I was gone. And she came the next morning and the ice cream was, like, all over.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, God, I bet. Yeah. There's other things. There's sections.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, there's sections. That's right. They don't. It's not just one switch. Right. That's what the switch is for. The switch. Does that work? And so anyway, so I. But I go in the other day and the. The thing is off. And I'm like, ah, not learning our lesson. We got to turn that breaker back on. But then I realized, then the breaker's on. And I was like, gustavo fixed it. I was like, wow. Go, Gustavo. So, you know, put them to work. That's what you do. They're taking the kids. They're going to go see the Mario movie is what they're going to do the Mario movie.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Which I hear is terrible. But, you know, why are you reviewing a kid's movie anyway? Kids are going to go fucking see it. You know what I'm saying? There's so many reviews about Mario out there, and most of them are terrible. But, you know, aren't these movies made for children generally? Like, do we have to review them? We can say, this is good for kids or scary for kids or bad for skid kids, or there's tits in the movie and the kids shouldn't see whatever it is. Right, but should we really be doing a full breakdown review about Super Mario Brothers 2? I mean, everyone's got a job to do. I'm not hating on you, but I just. I was watching a video review of it, and then I was thinking to myself, I Was watching it. Why are you watching a review, Brian? Do you think this is going to change your children's mind about Mario? No, it's not.

[Chris Hoadley]

They just want to see it.

[Brian Greene]

And why do I look at movie reviews anyway? What does it matter? If I want to see it, I'm going to see it.

[Chris Hoadley]

The trailer convinces me. Sometimes movies that I really like don't have the best reviews.

[Brian Greene]

That's true. A hundred percent. 100%. Bottle rocket, which is one of my favorite movies.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, that's a great movie.

[Brian Greene]

Absolutely lambasted when it came.

[Chris Hoadley]

Great movie.

[Brian Greene]

It was a dumb movie with dumb blocking and, you know, weird people and, you know. And it. It's turned out to be just an incredibly classic, timeless, touching and funny movie. And Wes Anderson's first film. So you. Wes Anderson, he's like one of the best movie directors ever. So fuck the critics. They don't know what's going on. And Pink Floyd the Wall still gets shitty reviews. It's always being reviewed one year by somebody. But I think Pink Floyd the Wall, when you're high on LSD is one of the best movies ever. That's my personal opinion. Have your own opinion. Yes, that's right. Have your own opinion. But as far as I'm concerned, I liked it. I found it. This is an interesting fact. Totally off subject. Kind of totally off subject. There is one actor who has been in. Was in five movies in his entire life, and three of them won Best Picture and two of them were nominated for best Picture. And only five movies was he ever in. And all five of them were nominated or won Best Picture. You know who it is?

[Chris Hoadley]

That's incredible. No.

[Brian Greene]

Take a guess.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I don't know.

[Brian Greene]

You never know. This. It's the guy who played the brother in the Godfather. Oh, the guy who played the brother. Like, I know it was you. Fredo. Fredo. He played Fredo. His name is like Tony Cavazzi or something. Kalavazi or something like that. And he was only in five movies before he died of lung cancer. And all five of these in, like Deer Hunter, Godfather, Godfather 2, Dog Day, Dog Day Afternoon.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, that's fascinating.

[Brian Greene]

There was another one. I can't remember what the other one was, but isn't that crazy? It's only in five movies. Each one of them. Best Picture.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow, that was a good career.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. I bet that kid when that kid who's running around making fun of the ballet, I bet he would like that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You know, I wanted to see that movie about ping pong.

[Chris Hoadley]

Marty Supreme.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, but I heard some people said, eh.

[Chris Hoadley]

The reviews, yes.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, the reviews are like, eh.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I know somebody that went to go see it and they said the same thing. They were like, yeah, I don't know

[Brian Greene]

if I could watch a whole movie about a guy whose whole life depends on a ping pong game. Like, it just doesn't. The stakes aren't highest.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

I read the story about the guy and I think that was enough.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Plus, you know anybody who has Mr. Wonderful in their movie, you know, like, I just don't know. Yeah. I don't care for Mr. Wonderful as a human being. I can appreciate him on Shark Tank when he's doing his Shark Tank shtick, but I just. But it just seems to go on like, yeah, now he's on red carpet.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know. I saw the pictures of the red carpet. He's wearing some kind of crazy outfit.

[Brian Greene]

He's wearing a crazy outfit with a $50 million watch that, you know he's collecting. It's just like, dude, you're a douche. You're a douche. You're a douche. There are people that can't pay for their gasoline and struggling to buy milk, and you're wearing $50 million watches. I get it. Oh, no. He was wearing a chain with a Pokemon card that he had bought for $7 million. Yeah. Come on, guys. Come on. Have a little bit of taste. Right? The. Between the Paul Brothers and Mr. Wonderful and, you know, Trump and all these people that are just like, absolutely have no shame about their. About how much they have been given in life.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's completely out of touch.

[Brian Greene]

Completely out of touch. Completely out of touch. I'm not saying you have to, like, walk a mile with a cross tied to your back. That's not what I'm saying. But just chill a little bit. Chill. You know, understand that there's real people out there that are watching this. You're choosing to be on a red carpet where you're getting millions of eyeballs on you. It's not like. It's not like this. People were following him around. You want to wear that watch in your house or to a rent dinner where you're showing off to your friends who also have wealth. Cool. But you're walking a red carpet and you've got. You're wearing $9 million worth of shit.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And expecting anybody down here to be relating to that is difficult. And you're. You're incentivizing people to do the wrong thing, and that is to collect wealth just forever and ever and ever. Now I'm a capitalist. Always will be, always have been, always will be. But. But I just find it a little distasteful when times are tough for most people to be out there flaunting so much wealth. I don't have any money now. I might feel differently if I had any money. Yeah, if I actually had money, I might be, you know, I might be wearing a three million dollar Pokemon chain too. Maybe I. Maybe I should have gotten into Pokemon. Maybe then I'd have some money. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. This Pokemon cards can be very lucrative apparently.

[Brian Greene]

Apparently so. There's people like I saw some dudes at the Kroger yelling at each other over one guy was filming the other. You're a. You're the reason this Pokemon isn't. You know, everyone hates Pokemon. And I was like, what? What? Hey, nerds.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Hey nerds. Get out of the way. What are you doing? I got groceries in my hand. You're sitting at the Pokemon card machine fighting each other. I get it. There might be a million dollar card in there, but there's probably not. Right next to the Pokemon machine is the lottery machine. Go to the lottery machine. They have a track record of making millionaires. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I love that, that show too. When they've won the lottery and then that guy helps them find a house.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, that's a good one. Or how I lost my millions. Like about all the people who just suffered greatly after they won the lottery. It's a curse, man. It's a curse. You know, not for everybody. I did know a couple who won the lottery. They were very generous, they were very humble. You wouldn't have known it unless you knew it. And once I found out, it was amazing. Amazing. And they had a huge house and you know, they were just very humble people. Always willing to help out everybody. And, and they seemed to. The guy was still mowing lawns. That was his job. He was a landscaper, one man landscaping crew. He had what they had won the lottery. And for a decade afterwards he was still mowing lawns. Corey and Steve, that was their name. I love those two. I wish I. I wish I had kept up with them. They were older couple. I. I met him at Chili's. I was waiting table. And they would always give $100 bill to whoever waited on them. Always got a hundred dollar bill.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

We always wondered what did they do that they can give $100 bill? He's driving a lawnmower truck, right. He's got a lawnmower trailer. And then we became friends with them. And then eventually they called us one night. They'd been on a head on collision and asked us to come to their house, get their medicine and come to the house and help take care of them because they couldn't get up out of their bed. And we did and they both broken legs and all this other stuff we did and the house was a mansion of epic proportions. And I was like, that's incredible. And they told us we won the lottery. Don't tell anybody.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then you told everybody?

[Brian Greene]

And I told everybody. Like here on the podcast tcb.com get your free sticker at the commercial break on Instagram YouTube.com the commercial break. Watch us live Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday around 1:00pm Eastern Standard Time. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today, so tell you that I

[Chris Hoadley]

love you and I love you.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye. I'm going to Coachella to see this one.