The Secret To Sexcess!

Summary

The Commercial Break — "The Secret To Sexcess!"
Episode Date: September 6, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Guest: Zach Bauer (pickup artist/crypto entrepreneur)

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Episode Overview

This installment of The Commercial Break expertly blends the pod’s signature chaotic improv humor with sharp commentary, absurd internet finds, and contemporary pop culture oddities. Bryan and Krissy riff on recent Trump NFT trading cards, the bizarre NFT/altcoin landscape, and a deep-dive roast of the 21 Convention “pickup artist” community, featuring audio from speaker Zach Bauer—who, as Bryan reveals, now has ties to new Trump crypto ventures. The result is a hilarious and biting breakdown of modern masculinity grifts and the intersection of scams, politics, and dating advice.

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Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. Tangents on Tradition & Personal Anecdotes (00:00–04:55)

• The hosts open with nonsensical banter about prestigious phone contacts, bone broth jokes, and the outdated rule of not wearing white after Labor Day.
• Bryan muses on family planning, calculating his and his siblings’ conception dates based on their birthdays.
  • “Do you ever wonder about stuff like that?” (03:02)
• Krissy shares a story about her husband and his siblings sharing eerily close birthdays.

2. Trump’s Trading Cards & NFT Ridiculousness (04:55–21:14)

• Bryan and Krissy break down Trump’s new “America First Collection” of digital trading cards, including the overblown perks and physical memorabilia on offer.
• Audio clips from Trump’s announcement are roasted, especially his references to “holding some bitcoins” and promises of physical card fragments, sneakers, and a gala dinner at Mar-a-Lago's “lesser” Jupiter club.
• Bryan points out the absurdity of running for President while peddling NFTs, suggesting even supporters should be skeptical of such grifts.
  • “If any other politician did this... people would go apeshit. They’d be like, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’” (13:30, Bryan)
• Both hosts lampoon the AI-generated trading card images and the hyped but likely unsold Trump sneakers.
• Discussion turns to scammy elements of NFTs, digital rights management, and how presidential campaigns are stumbling into meme-coin swamps.

Notable Quotes

• Bryan: “You can't hold a bitcoin. But he doesn't know that. And why should he? He's 80 years old.” (06:51)
• Krissy: “That’s what every 7-year-old wants for Christmas. A digital trading card.” (09:01)
• Bryan: “The whole concept is so silly. If anybody did it, we would be laughing.” (13:28)
• Bryan: “Who are the geniuses who are, you know, Trump isn’t actually putting those NFTs up… He didn’t make them. Someone just came to him with an idea and he said, ‘Yeah, I’ll sign off on it. Whatever.’” (14:04)

Timestamps

• 05:59–06:41 — Trump promo audio, NFT perks
• 08:01–08:29 — The psychological pricing of $99.99
• 09:01–09:48 — Audience for physical perks (“piece of the suit,” sneakers)
• 12:02–13:28 — The “crypto president” riff and AI-card absurdity

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3. Scams & Altcoin Fails — Personal Storytime (15:12–19:12)

• The team details a recent crypto-token launch involving Trump’s son Barron and a botched website launch that resulted in fans being scammed (Rolling Stone article cited).
• Bryan admits to being scammed by a fake “Elon Musk” YouTube live stream and warns listeners about the proliferation of crypto cons, especially those promoted by celebrities or their families.
  • “You give me one bitcoin, and I will give you five bitcoins back. I got scammed.” (17:37)

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4. The Pickup Artist Grift: Exposing the 21 Convention (21:54–66:06)

Introduction to Zach Bauer & the 21 Convention (23:16–27:59)

• Bryan reveals that one of the men behind the Trump crypto project is a notorious pickup artist (POA/P.O.I.R.) spokesman from the 21 Convention—the annual conference where dating “gurus” sell dubious advice to men.
• Clips from Zach Bauer’s 21 Convention speech (c. 2019/2020) are played and mercilessly riffed on.
• The hosts provide MST3K-style commentary, roasting Zach’s weak motivational lines, stories about self-improvement, and “secrets” to successful dating.

Key Pickup Artist Speech Highlights

• Zach Bauer opens with typical “average guy becomes player” tropes, admitting he was always relegated to “the friends of friends” (28:05–29:40).
• He and his friend Rob develop “the Four Elements of Game” system, born of years of “studying” other pickup artists and self-filming club approaches (33:07–34:55).
• Bauer trashes other PUA instructors, calling much of their material “absolute bullshit” and openly admitting most dating “gurus” can’t actually perform in the field.
  • Zach Bauer: “A lot of that stuff actually made it worse. I went from a place where I could get girls... to where I would literally repel them.” (37:45)

Running Gags & Satirical Commentary

• Bryan & Krissy interject with mocking “boner broth” infomercial riffs (“Boner bra 3000!”), making fun of the pseudo-scientific products shilled at men’s conferences.
• Commentary on the awkwardness of pick-up convention speeches, endless numbers games, and the echo chamber of self-appointed “dating instructors.”
  • Bryan: “I realized that I'm not all that great with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there.” (36:41)
• Zach’s advice devolves into platitudes (46:21–47:37):
  • “Those who can’t, teach... They make it sound like they know what the fuck they’re talking about. They charge you tens of thousands of dollars.”
• Laugh-out-loud recurring bits: “Infield footage” (the absurdity of filming oneself hitting on women), “strong eye contact,” “bounce on the dick,” and the “no homo” refrain.

The System (60:31–65:25)

• Zach introduces his core advice—“damage control”—which amounts to accepting rejection and reframing setbacks as part of the “game.”
  • “The first and most important piece... is called damage control.” (61:31)
• Bryan and Krissy poke fun:
  • Bryan: “We had a PR seminar now. Damage control.”
  • Krissy: “I think he said Farah system. Farrah ferrous system…”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Bryan: On Trump’s collectibles — “You’re selling a Topps baseball card, but it’s an AI-generated image of him on a lion holding an American flag. He’s lost all the marbles.” (08:01)
• Trump audio: “Something these cards show me dancing and even me holding some bitcoins.” (06:36)
• Bryan: “If any other politician did this, Democrat or Republican... people would go apeshit.” (13:30)
• Bauer: “It’s almost embarrassing to say it, but I swear to God, I believed this. I read those books and I thought, ‘This is why I haven’t been getting results.’” (35:33)
• Krissy: “Dude, there’s gonna be bouncing happening.” (56:12)

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Notable Segments with Timestamps

• [05:59–13:28] — Trump’s NFT “America First Collection” dissected & roasted; A+ jokes on digital collectibles, AI art, and perks
• [17:37–19:12] — Bryan’s personal story of getting scammed by a “5x your bitcoin” scheme, warning on celebrity crypto scams
• [23:16–27:59] — Introduction of Zach Bauer/21 Convention segment: setting up the PUA roast
• [28:05–44:59] — Bauer’s rambling seminar, breakdown of the “pickup” ecosystem, and the “Four Elements of Game” gag
• [60:31–65:25] — Introduces “damage control,” the centerpiece of Bauer’s recycled dating advice

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Tone & Style

The episode blends biting satire with off-the-cuff absurdist humor, featuring frequent asides, sound-effect riffs, and relentless mockery of pseudo-experts and scammy sales pitches. Bryan and Krissy keep the vibe unfiltered and friendly, delivering their critiques with both insider knowledge and genuine incredulity.

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Conclusion

This “Sexcess” episode offers a characteristically unstructured but thoroughly entertaining skewering of internet scams—whether from politicians hawking digital memes, celebrity associates entering sketchy crypto ventures, or cringe-inducing “pickup artists” peddling dating pseudoscience at $99.99 a lesson. Bryan and Krissy’s irreverent chemistry, sharp commentary, and pop cultural literacy make it a must-listen for anyone skeptical of self-proclaimed “experts” and nostalgic for the raw, weird heart of podcast comedy.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Right. So here's the reason. I don't care that I can't do a handstand or a splits. I was 11 years old when I started in the most phenomenally successful franchise of all time. I have some of the greatest British actors of all time on my speed dial. On my phone, I have Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Danny Dyer. I have Danny Dyer on my f ing phone.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah, but can you do this? I'm gonna call him.

[Brian Green]

We're doing the same thing, Jake.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I've appeared naked on a Broadway stage.

[Zach Bauer]

I have kissed Emma Watson.

[Brian Green]

I'm the most famous person you've ever been near. For sake, Jake, Manny. On this episode of the Commercial break, Bone broth. Get your bone while getting bone. You know what I'm talking about. Got that bone broth in you? Straight to the bone. We make bone broth with literal boners as our bone broth. Not FDA approved or reviewed. Why buy a drink?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Thousand.

[Brian Green]

Boner bra. Boner bra. Boner bra. Boner bra 3000.

[Zach Bauer]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this incredibly dumb podcast, Chris and Joy Hoadley.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Chris, and bestie Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. We really appreciate it. It's. It's September. No more wearing white. Chrissy, you broke the rules before the game even started. You don't know how to do it. You don't know. You don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Those rules are out the window.

[Brian Green]

What is that rule? Why is that rule even in effect the other day?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's no reason. It basically just dates back to, like the 1800s or something.

[Brian Green]

1800S.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was a way for society women to show that they were of society.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they were of society. If they didn't wear white after Labor Day. When did Labor Day start? In the 1800s.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Really did. It did. Wow, here I am so misinformed. I thought that was like a 1950 something. We made Labor Day. But I guess, you know, there's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, there was the first Labor Day parade was like, in the 1800s.

[Brian Green]

Wow. You never know until you know. Until you know what I just realized? I realized that I was born at the beginning of September, which means that my parents would have fucked in December right around the holiday times. Just sharing that with you. Just sharing that with you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was a nice little Christmas present.

[Brian Green]

Yay. Listen, our New Year's they did it once. So let's see. One of my brothers was born in March. That means they were doing it around Labor Day. So one of my other brothers, they were having sex on my birthday for one of my other brothers. And then me, Thanksgiving. So Thanksgiving, Labor Day and Christmas. We know that my parents were. Do you ever wonder about stuff like that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. When were your parents? Well, you're a March baby, right?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

February.

[Brian Green]

February. I'm sorry. So February. So Ryan, that clock back just about nine months and there you get six minus seven carry the one that would be your in. Oh, that's a random month. That's May. Oh, maybe you're a Memorial Day baby.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Maybe.

[Brian Green]

Maybe that's what was going on. A few kicky cocktails, maybe laying back. Jeff, maybe a zanny or two and smoke a cigarette.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, Jeff and his brothers all have. Well, he and his brother, one of his brothers had. They have the exact same birthday in October, same day, one year apart. And then his other brother is a week later, but was due on that same birthday.

[Brian Green]

Really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, two of our kids are born, would have been born on the same day. They had the same birthday. But we, since there was a C section involved, we chose to back it up just one day just to give them their own day because we knew that maybe not now, but in the future that might cause problems. So. And you know what? I'm going to get the kids for their birthdays, Chrissy. This year for Christmas and their birthdays. Trump trading cards. Trump Digital create trading cards. Why not? It's the gift that keeps on giving.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Are you ordering enough to get the sneakers?

[Brian Green]

Well, you got to, I mean, in for a penny.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. If you're going that far.

[Brian Green]

Why would you buy a Trump Digital trading car without then getting a free pair of sneakers? IRL and a piece of the suit. There's the nft. There's the actual physical trading card. A piece of the suit. I don't, I don't know how to explain it, but I don't know who could explain it better actually than Donald Trump himself. And I know this sounds like a weird sequitur, but trust me, today's episode, I will follow this up. I will follow it through. Let's let Trump himself describe what's going on with his new. Because the first batch, the one that he sold two years ago, they had.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A lot of fun with it.

[Brian Green]

They had a lot of fun with it. It. I know they sold out. I think they're trading on ebay for about A$50 right now. So why not send money well spent? Why not sucker a bunch of other people into spending way too much? This is so transactional. It's crazy. Do you know what I'm saying? It's crazy. Like them hate him, you know, Listen, I'll just be straight out. I'm just saying I'm not the world's biggest fan of Trump, you know, but I voted conservative and I voted liberal. It depends on who the actual person is. Yeah, it depends on who it is and who at that moment, I'm a true independent. I'm one of those people that they keep talking about that's going to win or lose the election. I'm one of those people not a big fan of Trump. And part of the reason why I'm not a big fan of Trump is because he does stupid shit like this. Like, why are you selling NFTs? Why the fuck are you selling NFT? You're trying to be the President of the United States. Don't get into some scammy ass bullshit nfts selling shoes and pieces of your clothing. I'm selling pieces of clothing from the day that I got shot in. Like how many pieces of clothing could you possibly sell? They're cutting up his suit and selling it. But here, let me. Let him talk.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Explain.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Donald J. Trump]

Oh, everyone, this is your favorite president, Donald J. Trump, with some very exciting news. By popular demand, I'm doing a new series of Trump digital trading cards. You all know what they are. We've had a lot of fun with them. It's called the America First Collection 50 all new stunning digital trading cards.

[Brian Green]

Stunning. There's 50. 50. There's 50 different versions of that. I'm sure they will make them ad infinitum as long as people continue to buy them. And I love how he's not even, you know, we did them before. We had so much fun with it. Something he's not even convinced.

[Donald J. Trump]

Something these cards show me dancing and even me holding some bitcoins.

[Brian Green]

Here's the best part. Holding some bitcoins. Teleprompter glitched.

[Donald J. Trump]

Three great things for my Trump digital.

[Brian Green]

No, you can't hold a bitcoin. But he doesn't know that. He doesn't know shit. He doesn't know shit. And why should he? He's 80 years old. Like, I give the guy a pass. He's 80 years old. I barely know what a bitcoin is. And I'm much younger than he is. I mean, I understand the whole concept, but I think I understand the whole concept anyway. But you get, you get my message here. Like if you're going to be President of the United States, let's hold off on selling the nft. Let's hold off on making a billion dollars off your flags and your name and your hats and your coffee mugs and your special brew of brandy. Let's, let's just hold that off until after you are sure you're never going to be president again. But you know, I guess a lot of people are into this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Kind of thing. Let's see what we get if we order some of these. He's going to explain all the perks that you get.

[Donald J. Trump]

Real physical trump cards. Purchase 15 or more of my trump digital trading cards and we'll mail you a beautiful physical trading card. It's really, I think, quite something.

[Brian Green]

Each physical, I think quite something. I think quite something. Is it really quite something that you mail out a baseball card? Basically.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

By the way, they're $100 apiece, right?

[Brian Green]

Yes. Excuse me. 99.99. Chrissy, be careful. There's one penny less than 100. It's, he's psychologically psyching you out. Here's the thing too is like you're selling a Topps baseball card. But the baseball card isn't like a picture, an organic picture of Trump. It is literally an AI generated image of him on a lion holding an American flag riding a lion. He's lost all the marbles. They're all gone.

[Donald J. Trump]

Trading card has an authentic piece of my suit that I wore for the presidential debate. And people are calling it the knockout suit. I don't know about that, but that's what they're calling it. So we'll have that suit.

[Brian Green]

And the knockout suit, well did knock Joe Biden out of the race, so I guess that's one. There's one truth in this 15 minute ramble.

[Donald J. Trump]

Going to get a piece of it. And we'll be randomly autographing five of them. A true collector's item. This is something to give your family, your kids, your grandchildren.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Number two is to purchase every grandchild. Yeah, that's that.

[Brian Green]

That's what every seven year old wants for Christma. A digital trading card. I've got all 12, five of my.

[Donald J. Trump]

Trump digital trading cards. And you will also be invited to join me for a gala dinner at my beautiful country club in Jupiter, Florida. We really have tremendous dinners with my collectors.

[Brian Green]

We have tremendous dinners with my collectors where we serve slop right out of the cafeteria. I show up for one second, wave to the Camera.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's not Mar a Lago, it's Jupiter.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's right. It can't be said Mar a Lago because if he said Mar a Lago, that people would stop paying him $150,000 to join that Mar a Lago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I mean, if anybody is dumb enough to think that Trump is going to go, you know, sit with somebody for four hours at a dinner and have a conversation with them, he's going to walk in and walk out of the room. You think Trump's spending time with digital trading card collectors?

[Donald J. Trump]

Fun. Together. We're going to have a good time. The third thing we're doing for my Trump collectors is including a pair of my new Trump sneakers. When you buy five or more of my Trump digital trading cards, remember my gold sneakers? And they went like crazy. Everybody is talking about. Still talking.

[Brian Green]

Everybody's talking about, still talking about everybody.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're still talking about this $500 pair of sneakers.

[Brian Green]

I, by the way, I go to a lot of places like everybody does. I go to a lot of places. I have yet to see a pair of those sneakers on any human being. No, I'm sure they say sold, so I know they did. Yeah, right. And that's the thing about Trump is that his name could sell anything and he does literally sell anything. The guy had a steak company, for God's sake, Trump Steaks, which was like grade D meat that people sued him for. But anyway, regardless of that, the, the thought that people would be clamoring for these shoes, when that's why he's throwing him in there, is because he didn't sell any of them. And he's like, I gotta. What do I do with all these shoes? Give them to the digital card traders. Oh, get about them.

[Donald J. Trump]

People went wild for him and that's good. They sold out in a matter of hours.

[Brian Green]

So if they sold out, then how do you have some left? Answer me that. Riddle me that.

[Donald J. Trump]

Riddle me that you trump sneakers and don't miss out. I'm keeping my Trump digital trading cards at the same price of $99 each. We've done that right from the beginning. So go to collect trumpcards dot com. It's really easy to buy. You just need an email address and a credit card or crypto. You know, they.

[Brian Green]

Or crypto. Credit card or crypto. Mortgage your house. You just need crypto. Crypto, you need a credit card or crypto. Look at this picture of him on this trading card. I know it doesn't look anything like him.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's, it's amazing.

[Brian Green]

It's like Cary Grant in that picture.

[Donald J. Trump]

The crypto president. I don't know if that's true or not. Crypto president together and enjoy my trump cards. We're gonna have a lot of fun. We'll be talking about it for a long time. Thank you very much. Have a good time.

[Brian Green]

We'll be. Have a good time. Have a good time. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Jump in the ring.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I mean, vote for. Don't form. Don't vote for. Whatever. I didn't want to point that out to get political. What I wanted to point out is. It's so stupid. I mean, it's so fucking stupid. We've been talking about NFTs for a long time on the show, which is essentially what the Trump trading card is, just an nft. But the nft, the model of the nft, Something there is something there. Digital rights management. There is something there. But essentially it is a PDF of a fucking picture. That's all it is. It's a PDF that somehow gets, you know, recorded on the blockchain. And I don't want to explain it all here because I'm not sure that, like, you take a little Trump and you put it. You put in. You put into your AI machine. 40 pounds lighter, 60 years younger.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Riding a lion.

[Brian Green]

Riding a lion. 99. 99 plus. Shoes painted with real fake gold. My shoes are painted with real fake gold. Not like those other fake golds. It's just so silly. The whole concept is so silly. I don't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

If anybody did it, we would be laughing.

[Brian Green]

If any other politician did this, Democrat or Republican, it's like, you know, Ted Cruz came out with Ted Cruz digital trading cards. People would go apeshit. They'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? But it's. I don't know. I guess this is just part and parcel of, you know, Trump 20, 24. Poor guy. The poor guy. Honestly, I said from the beginning for the little politics that we talk on the show, I said, biden seems too old to run. Like, he's having a lot of issues up there. Yeah, I think Trump is in the same boat. I think Trump is just too old to run. I mean, he's literally losing it. He's allowing anybody to make a name for themselves off his back. Like, who are the geniuses who are, you know, Trump isn't actually putting those NFTs up on OpenSea himself. He's not selling those. He didn't make them. Someone just came to him with an idea and he said, yeah, I'll sign off on it. Whatever. So who are these buffoons who are just getting Trump to do these stupid, stupid shit left or right? And is there. No. I mean, I realize that like the, at least the, the word on Trump is that there's no way that anybody can convince him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In other words, he is the sole decision maker in everything that he does. Fine, fair enough. Great. Wonderful. But is there no human being around him? Not even that Melania who doesn't even seem to be married to him anymore? Isn't there like anybody in the, on earth that can just take a look at these ideas before they go out the door and go, this was a bad idea. Round one, why are we doing this? Round two, why are we doing this? Round two.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hilarious.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you who is behind some of this shit that he's going through. So, so now it's the, it's the NFTs. And now he's getting into altcoin, like, you know, bitcoin, like, activities. His son had a. Baron had an idea to do a brokerage, a trading brokerage online. He put together a white paper explaining how this platform was going to work. It's. He's not the Baron isn't the first to come up with this idea. It's just that most legitimate, at least platforms are staying away from this kind of trading activity that Baron is pitching because it hasn't worked. There's actually been a couple of companies that have gone bankrupt. It's highly complicated. I'm not going to explain it here, but just know there is some now talk that Trump will get into the altcoin world on his own. He started this company, this company the other day on Twitter. They have a Twitter page and they released a link that was supposedly to where people could go buy some of these coins. Right. So people went there to buy them, only the. And this came up on Don Juniors and Eric's Twitter also this came up on their feed and Laura Loomer or Laura Trump came up on her feed also. There's only one problem. That actually wasn't the link to buy it. It was scammers who had gotten into their accounts and then directed people to a fake website that looked like the real website. And then people were getting scammed, which is terrible for the people that that went there. I really feel bad for them because, and I have admitted this on the show, and by the way, there was a big Rolling Stone article about this, how Elon Musk is being used to scam people in the altcoin universe. Left and right. Here's how it works. You go to YouTube and all of a sudden Elon Musk is Now Live on YouTube. You go to that YouTube channel, looks like Elon Musk, sounds like Elon Musk. And he's telling you. Because I so believe in the altcoin universe, the bitcoin universe, the blockchain. I am going to 5x your money. You give me one bitcoin, and I will give you five bitcoins back. I got scammed. I am not too proud to admit it. I will share this with you. So no one else does this. It was two or three years ago. We had just moved into this studio. I was setting up the studio one night, waiting for a program to download. I go on you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I need altcoin.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Elon Musk is live and he says, send me your wallet by sending me a portion of a bitcoin so that I can verify your wallet. And then I will Send you back 5x what you send to me, right? Brian, who has never been scammed in his entire life, because I. I don't know, maybe I'm one step ahead. Maybe I'm just not dumb enough to get. I scammed the scammers. I. I sent to that wallet, waiting patiently for the next 24 hours for my 5x to come back. It never came. The next day, I go to find the YouTube page. It's completely. This. This account has been disabled due to, you know, whatever.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Scam.

[Brian Green]

Scams, right? You got scammed, basically. So you got scammed. Congratulations, Brian. But I was not the only one. Apparently millions of people have been scammed by something very similar to this. And Elon Musk is always at the crux, crux of this because, I don't know, his voice is so widely available, they just can use it in AI or whatever it is. I was totally scammed completely. So now I feel really bad for these people who went to, you know, Don junior's or Eric's Twitter page and whatever, got a tweet or whatever they did, and it said, hey, go here. Got an X. I don't even know what you. You call it anymore got next. And then all of a sudden, they're being scammed out of money because they think that this is something they're getting in on the ground floor. It's really just a couple of. Couple of kids in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, scamming you. But this is why I think generally presidential candidates should probably stay out of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Selling NFTs and altcoin seems like a good idea.

[Brian Green]

Yes. So who's behind this? Who's like, coming up with all of these ideas? Who's, like, pulling the strings in the background? I will tell you who is pulling strings on the background. A notorious, I may say notorious, but a guy that is probably better known for being a pickup artist. A poir, if you will. What Brian trolling Internet habits have discovered. It's actually through a story that I read. I didn't do all the homework on this one, but I got to it pretty quickly that one of the guys that's involved in this new trading platform, this new platform for Altcoin, that Baron, has the idea, and then there's a bunch of people that sit on the board that are connected to Trump in some kind of way. And Trump himself is involved in this also. There is a guy behind there pulling the strings. And his past life, or maybe his current life, potentially his future life, is being a pois, a pickup artist. And where has this guy appeared? The 21 convention. Yes. Where Chrissy and I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

21 convention where Chrissy and I have.

[Brian Green]

Been breaking down videos of these paws forever. And we have been doing the 21 convention probably since we, I guess, got hot to it, I don't know, maybe about three seasons ago. But there is a video available of this guy doing a pickup artist seminar. And if you'd like to, we can review some of the stuff that's going on. Just so we. I mean, how could we pass up the opportunity? This is how it's all connected. So once again, let me state for the record, don't care who you vote for. It's not a political show. I just thought that this was such a fucking funny thing that Trump is doing that I just like, play a little bit of it and let you know. But you do get free shoes. So I guess 99.99 gold sneakers. If worse comes to worse, you got a pair of shoes you can wear and they're going to mail you a Trump trading card. I mean, what more could you ask for?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And piece of the suit.

[Brian Green]

A piece of the suit. How small do you think that piece of the suit is? I mean, it's got to be tiny, right?

[Donald J. Trump]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The knockout suit. That's what they're calling it. Who's calling it that? That is the thing that I hate when Trump says the most is they're all saying it. You know, everybody says it goes back to the States. Everybody loves it. Everybody is everybody. Name one. Name one. Orbit I know. They just keep. Anyway, whatever. So that's that. I just thought I'd unravel this a little bit. And then when it got down to the meat and potatoes, it's right in our wheelhouse. So don't know this guy. Don't know. You know, I don't know him personally. I'm not saying anything bad about the guy, but he is a poor. So I think it's fair game that we just take a listen to what he has to say. But we'll have to do that, Chrissy, after we take a break. I know you were waiting on bated.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Breath right after these messages.

[Brian Green]

We'll be right back. That's all that needs to be said.

[Commercial Break Announcer]

Okay, you guys, I have an idea. Why don't we take a break? Gotcha. This is the break, and you already know when you hear my sexy voice. It's time to whip your phone out and follow us on Instagram or Skip the ads. Hecommercial break and on TikTok cvpodcast. And of course, you know, if you want to get involved, you can always give us a call or text us at 212-4333, TCB. That is 212-433-3822. And guess what? I finally have information on TCB Live, so the links are in the show notes. But let me tell you right now, you can come see us at Danya beach improv on Tuesday, September 24, or at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25. It's gonna be fab. So go buy your tickets and we'll.

[Brian Green]

See you in Florida. Okay, without further ado, 21 convention, here's one of our pause. I think this is from 2019 or 2020. I could be wrong about that. There's not a. There's not a timestamp on here. But I'm just guessing that this is pre Covid because, you know, he's been too busy making Trump trading cards since then.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sure. Yeah, he got a new job.

[Brian Green]

Okay. And here he is. Hold on one second. Zach Bauer. Here he is.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And the 21 convention is where there's a group of these paws that get together and you buy tickets and tell you their.

[Brian Green]

Tell you their secrets. Sex success.

[Zach Bauer]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

The secrets are getting that. Nailing down that pussy every time you want to. Buddy, I was just like you, and then I started talking at the flaw convention, and now I'm still just like you with 50 extra dollars in my pocket.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I don't think we're getting that through the. Are you Getting that through. Oh, here, Never mind. Sorry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

His name is.

[Brian Green]

Okay, here. Zach Bauer. Here we go.

[Zach Bauer]

What's going on, guys? It's good to be here all the way down in Orlando, huh?

[Brian Green]

Huh? Do you not know?

[Zach Bauer]

Huh?

[Brian Green]

By the way, nice looking guy. Nice looking dude.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The long hair look with the opened button down shirt.

[Brian Green]

I kind of imagine what Woody Harrelson looks like on a Saturday afternoon after smoking weed with Willie Nelson. Yeah, he could use an iron. I will say that.

[Zach Bauer]

All right, so I'm. I realized that like you guys have been here for a while because every. Everyone can hear me. Yeah. All right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Everyone can hear me.

[Brian Green]

Yes, everyone can hear you because it's literally a hotel room in Orlando. It's not that big.

[Zach Bauer]

Probably been a long day, so you know what I want to do.

[Brian Green]

That's a great way to start your speech. It's been a long day, so I'm. I know everyone's tired. Just take a nap if you want to.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm picturing too what this long day entails at the convention. It entails getting up the breakout session.

[Brian Green]

Breakout sessions, Chrissy, you got to go to every booth. You gotta, you gotta see the whole. You got to see the whole scene. When you spend money like that, Chrissy, you don't, you know, you don't want to be left out. My brand 3000 now on sale in booth 33. Get your dick par.

[Zach Bauer]

A little bit about now.

[Brian Green]

Selling bone broth.

[Zach Bauer]

What it is that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Bone broth?

[Brian Green]

Get your bone while getting bone. You know what I'm talking about? Got that bone broth in you straight from the bowl. We make bone broth with literal boners. That's our bone broth. Not FDA approved or reviewed. Why buy a 3,000 boner broth? Boner bra, boner bra, boner bra 3,000.

[Zach Bauer]

Rob and I do. And why. I think that it's a little bit different from a lot of the other stuff that's out there right now and how this can be used to your advantage. And I'm also going to tell you a little bit about where I came from and you know, how I basically got to where I am now. So that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How I got to where I am now.

[Brian Green]

You know, the worst speaking engagement is at 4 o' clock on at any convention.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because everyone's had lunch.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They're already. They're ready to go take a nap so they can get to the bars for the cocktail hour later on that night. They are thinking about anything but what you're talking about. That's why whenever I go to one of those speaking engagements for podcasts. I always do morning sessions. Yeah. Someone offers me an afternoon session, I mean, listen, actually, I'll take whatever they give me. But I try and choose the morning session because I'm like, at least people will be kind of awake.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, I would. I would love to just go to one of these conventions as a girl, you know, and go hit up the cocktail time. Oh, See what happens.

[Brian Green]

You would be.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

See what trick?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. That'd be like chum in the water and those Bahamas, you know, feed the shark things. You're the chum. Yeah, that would be interesting. Let's wire you up and get you down to one of these things.

[Zach Bauer]

You know, I have.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're gonna be in Orlando.

[Brian Green]

That's true. Unfortunately, I don't think we're gonna be there during the 21 convention. If we are, we better have security at the door. People are gonna get upset.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That would be amazing.

[Brian Green]

Wouldn't that be amazing?

[Zach Bauer]

Speaking at the 21 Convention in front of you guys? And, you know, I promise that's not gonna get boring. I'm gonna keep it short. And finally, I'm gonna give you guys what we found, what Rob and I have found to be a system that we've developed for ourselves and so that we can go out and get very consistent results whenever a girl that we're attracted to is in front of us and that you guys are going to be able to go out and hopefully use tonight, tomorrow, and every day going forward. So I guess, wow, this guy was.

[Brian Green]

Born to be a speaker. Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Zach Bauer.

[Zach Bauer]

Just to start off, I think, like, the. Like, the first thing that I want to, like, share with you guys is kind of where I came from, you know, I was just an average guy, you know, nothing special. Nothing really wrong with me. Nothing really special, but at the same time, nothing really wrong with me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wrong with me.

[Brian Green]

Why would you point that out? Nothing really wrong with me. Suspicious as fuck.

[Zach Bauer]

You know, I really questioned my dating life. I never really questioned the girls that I was ending up with.

[Brian Green]

And, you know, not one question. You didn't give him one question the entire time. That's probably where you went wrong.

[Zach Bauer]

I was okay, you know, once in a while I'd have a girl and, you know, it wasn't really by choice, but, you know, it wasn't by choice.

[Brian Green]

What are you doing? Where did you come from?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What is that?

[Brian Green]

Suspicious? I'm gonna be singing Morgan J all episode long. Kids girl would.

[Zach Bauer]

She'd like Me and it would kind of work out and, you know, kind of drift along like that.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You like me?

[Brian Green]

Okay. You want to show me your okay? It's not by choice. You want a wood hook, too, on the. Okay, I guess. Hey, mom, what happened tonight? Some girl spit on my cock. Not by choice. I'm gonna go sulk.

[Zach Bauer]

And, you know, this kept going on, and in college, I would see some of my best friends just, you know, hooking up with all the girls that I wanted, you know, and I would end up with their friends or, you know, whatever came along. And, you know, it was really frustrating.

[Brian Green]

Because whatever came along. Dude, you should have practiced this speech in the hotel room a couple of times. Yeah, in the mirror. Does no one check this when they ask these people to speak? Do they? Like, we saw that one guy a couple of months ago, and he was, like, the saddest sack in the world. He's like, it's the worst time of my life. I literally have 70 books, 70 boxes of books I can't sell from Romania. That's why I'm giving them out for free to you.

[Zach Bauer]

I. You know, I knew that there wasn't much difference between me and my buddies, and just night after night, these guys were getting home the girls that I wanted. And, you know, it was a real pain in the ass. But, you know, that being said, like.

[Brian Green]

It was a real pain in the ass.

[Zach Bauer]

Didn't realize that there was anything.

[Brian Green]

What this guy's talking about. I bet all the. Who is leaving this room going, man.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that was engaging, dude.

[Brian Green]

Did you see Zach? Did you see Zach? You miss Zach's. You better check it out online. That was the shit. He gave us some bomb information. He said it was. He said he was with girls and not by choice. It was really irritating.

[Zach Bauer]

I didn't know that I needed to work on myself. I just figured, you know, this is how it is, and this is how it's gonna be. Like, you know, I'm gonna get what I'm gonna get, and, you know, might as well just keep going on with my life. Well, that all changed when, you know, I moved, I graduated.

[Brian Green]

That all changed when I bought Trump digital trading cards.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, you want to go back home and see my dragon?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You want to see my. I got a paper copy in college.

[Zach Bauer]

Moved to New York, and pretty much had no social circle. I had no girls to introduce me to their friends. I had no guys going out to meet friends for me to meet, you know, the friends of their friends.

[Brian Green]

Friends of friends. I had Nobody to go to. Friends of friends. So again, I just unwillingly went and slept with hot rich girls. Oh, he's like Eeyore.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know.

[Zach Bauer]

And you know, I realized, like, you know, like, I have a big problem here. Either I'm gonna continue going about my life doing what I know how to do best, which is, you know, just nothing.

[Brian Green]

Nothing. Apparently not speaking, speaking engagements, or I'm.

[Zach Bauer]

Not gonna end up with the girls that I want. I need to do something here. And, you know, at this point, I started going out a lot and I started, you know, trying to meet up with guys that I saw were getting good results with women.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, that's it. Just latch onto my tail feathers there, buddy. Nothing like having a third wheel.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, you. I see you're successful. Might have been joining you.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Bob, it's Zach. Hey, man, what's going on? Just wondering if I could come cuckold you. I'm really bummed out about all this random pussy I'm getting unwillingly. Sure, man. Come on down. Watch me knock out some fanny. Thanks, man. I'll be there in a few minutes. Oh, I'm out of shampoo. Gotta go to the store.

[Zach Bauer]

Now, ultimately, this brought me to meet my buddy Rob, who maybe you guys, some of you might be familiar with. You know, Rob and I wrote four elements of game together.

[Brian Green]

And, you know, we started going four elements of game.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Similar to the four agreements.

[Brian Green]

Similar to the four agreements. Oh, this is the four elements of game. The four elements. Juicy, pussy, tushy and sleepy.

[Zach Bauer]

We developed a very, very, very close friendship. We started going out.

[Brian Green]

Very close. Now I was willingly going out. I loved Rob. He was a man and he smelled good. He convinced me to buy Trump digital chain cards with bitcoin. Bitcoin. Everyone's saying it's incredible. I think. I think it's amazing.

[Zach Bauer]

Three years and, you know, maybe like some of you guys, we studied some of that mystery method. We studied some of the other systems out there. We read a lot of these ebooks and.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sorry, I'm picturing him in Rob with a Kindle.

[Brian Green]

Sharing a Kindle.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like buckling down. Remember the methods and studying.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we'd study and study. We'd meet night after night after night, give each other massages, while we took turns reading to each other the mystery method. Mystery. Mystery is like reading algebra. I've read some of that. It's way confusing. His goal is just to confuse the fuck out of you. So you pay him more money to try and explain.

[Zach Bauer]

It promises that, like there's this Magic line that you can say, and you'll just have girls bouncing off your dick, right?

[Brian Green]

I wanted a trampoline for a.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Bounce it off your dick.

[Zach Bauer]

And, you know, I mean, it's almost embarrassing to say it, but, like, I swear to God, like, I believe this, right? I read those books and, like, I sat there and I thought, like, holy. Like, this is why I haven't been getting the results that I've wanted my whole life, right?

[Brian Green]

Girls bouncing off my dick, Girls bouncing off my ball. So I said, hey, best friend Rob, you want to give it a try? You want to bounce on the balls for a few minutes? Just for practice? Just for practice. Put down the Kindle. It distracts me.

[Zach Bauer]

I've been doing. I haven't been doing it right. So I guess at this point was this was like the best and the worst thing that ever happened.

[Commercial Break Announcer]

Three years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Did he say three years?

[Brian Green]

He did say after three years, he's a slow study. Three years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It took him three years to figure out it wasn't working.

[Brian Green]

Three years of my life to figure out it wasn't working. That's when I came up with my own method, bitcoin.

[Zach Bauer]

The reason that it's the best thing is because the one thing that I did take from this stuff was that, yeah, I might not be great with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there.

[Brian Green]

We could just cut that clip right there. Yeah, it might not be good with women, but there's a whole shitload of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Guys out there that are worse than me.

[Brian Green]

Is that what he's gonna say? No, just cut the clip right? Just. I realize that I'm not all that great with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there. Boo yo yo Y Bitcoin.

[Zach Bauer]

Every day are going out, trying to figure out and improve their skills of meeting, dating, getting women attracted, turned on, whatever. So everything else that I took from.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's why we came up with the four elements.

[Brian Green]

That's why we came up with the four elements. Ball, shaft, anus, Ball, shaft, anus, and nipple. I now follow the four elements strictly. Nothing else works for me. I took five years to read all the others, and I found the four elements.

[Zach Bauer]

Girls, how to get them attracted, all that stuff. I can honestly say standing on the stage today was absolute bullshit. Like. Like a lot of that stuff.

[Brian Green]

Nothing like calling out your fellow conventioneers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know everybody else.

[Brian Green]

Everyone else you've heard for is bullshit.

[Zach Bauer]

Actually made it worse. And I went from a place where I could get girls that would come across my way to where girls would come across my way and I didn't like, I would literally repel them. And the reason that this would.

[Brian Green]

Girls were literally bouncing off my dick. Not on it, off it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Away from it.

[Brian Green]

Away from it. Why do I find this hard to believe? And why do I just naturally find it hard to believe now? I don't know, Zach, and I have no idea what his game, level of game is, but why do I find it hard to believe that this is. His general personality is probably not the first one that a gaggle of geese would run to. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He was getting the scraps.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he was getting the scraps.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now he's not even getting that.

[Brian Green]

Getting the crumbs after three years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Made things worse.

[Brian Green]

I was getting the scraps, now I'm getting the dog biscuits.

[Zach Bauer]

Would be because, you know, rather than just be myself and you know, I know that that's like one of the biggest cliches ever. And, you know, we'll get. We'll talk about that and what that really means. And you know, I can't do that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

About transforming yourself into yourself.

[Brian Green]

There's lots more to come. I promise this won't be too long or boring. We'll get to that later in our number. Yeah, in my fourth encore. I'll tell you more about that.

[Zach Bauer]

Guys can actually do this because I want to preface this by saying, like, there's a lot of other stuff out there where it's a lot of philosophy and a lot of feel good stuff, but it doesn't actually tell you what to do when the girl's standing there in front of you so that she ends up in your bed. That's another.

[Brian Green]

What are you gonna do, carry around your E reader? Excuse me while I consult Amazon Prime.

[Zach Bauer]

Problem that we found with a lot of these dating, you know, dating guides and, you know, different systems was that it was so heavily focused on how to begin interactions and how to get girls giggling and laughing that it never really addressed the issue, which was why I wanted to get in.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This was the bounce on the dick part.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which is the bounce on the dick part. Get to that. How do you bounce on the dick?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Forget about her laughing or making her happy anyway, by the way, getting to know who she is, just as a.

[Brian Green]

Reference point, the last six or seven plots that we have talked about have reviewed have all said this exact same thing. No one ever tells you how to actually get the girls. They'll tell you all about how to open a set or whatever they say. But they never tell you how to get them actually in bed. So this guy is yet making another promise that every other PA out there is making, which is the natural, like, evolution of I got you in the fucking door to sit down at the 21 convention, right? I know how to open the set. Opening a set is one thing. Anybody could say hello to anybody. How do you get them in bed? How do you get them literally bouncing on your shaft? That's what I want to know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let's see if he's got the answers.

[Zach Bauer]

You know, to take girls home and have sex, right? I mean, is there any guy in here who has a different goal than that when it comes to meeting and dating girls?

[Brian Green]

I do. Thank God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's like, I do. Who cares about the relationship?

[Brian Green]

I want a loving relationship with someone who cares about who I really am. You're in the wrong place.

[Zach Bauer]

Exactly. Like, do you get, like, anyone in here who cares about how you open, how you build attraction? Does anyone really care about that? If it doesn't get you girls?

[Brian Green]

All right, I heard a whole crowd reaction right there. That was literal dead silence. There is no one in this room. By the way, if you're listening to this, which you probably are, because no one watches this. If you're listening to this, then what, you know, what you should know about this is there's one camera pointing to him on what?

[Zach Bauer]

I'm not.

[Brian Green]

I don't even think it's a stage. I think he's just standing at the front of a room, but it's showing none of the crowd. So we have no idea how many people are in there, but it sounds like zero people are in there.

[Zach Bauer]

Your question. Has anybody in here about how to open or how to build attraction? Yeah, I was there, too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, buddy. Did you hear that one guy? He goes, yeah, buddy.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah, I was there, too.

[Brian Green]

Okay, wait, hold on. I want to hear that again.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm trying to look up the four elements of the game.

[Brian Green]

That's my. That's my favorite. Oh, it's not available on your regular E. Reader?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, it's not.

[Zach Bauer]

Or how to build attraction.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, buddy.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah, I was there, too. Like, I spent a whole year wasting my time trying to do that stuff. And like I said, I bought in probably harder than anybody in this room into this myth that there were these guys out there that had this, like, secret, you know, this secret routine stack, or, you know, whatever you want.

[Brian Green]

They had these routine stack, protein powder, shake.

[Zach Bauer]

Lines, and these special ways of, like. Of doing things where they could pretty much go up to a girl who was with her, like her husband, her fiance, and steal this girl off the floor, rip them away and, you know, run off into the sunset, right?

[Brian Green]

Her husband and, you know, her husband.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Steel of a wedding.

[Brian Green]

What's the guy talking about?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Zach Bauer]

Honestly, that really got me to where I am today because I would meet guys that, you know, maybe you guys have, you know, been on some of the Internet forums, and it's like, oh, this guy really, he's really good. He really knows what he's talking.

[Brian Green]

He's got a conch shell bracelet. He must know what he's talking about. He does, by the way. I've always wanted to wear one of those, but I'm. I guess I'm just a little shy.

[Zach Bauer]

Bowder. Oh, like, you should have seen my friend. He's so good. So, you know, Rob and I were going out and we were.

[Brian Green]

I have never been in a group of guys where another guy goes, you should see this guy. He's so good at picking up. Never, never, not once, who am I hanging around? Where did things go wrong for me? Why am I not involved in these conversations?

[Zach Bauer]

Spending a lot of time trying to meet these guys, trying to figure out what they were doing, what was working for them so that we could do it ourselves. It's pretty simple. So whenever we'd meet up with these guys that were supposedly so good with women, we'd be watching them. And maybe, like, some of you guys, maybe you see some of us dating instructors, and you see them and you, you know, you hear us talk to you and you think in your head, dating instructors?

[Brian Green]

What are you instructing?

[Zach Bauer]

You have that voice. Like, maybe this guy really doesn't know what he's talking about. Or maybe this guy, like, doesn't really get the results that everybody thinks he's getting. And, you know, the fact is, is that when we started meeting these guys, it was really hard to fight that truth that we were feeling inside that, like, what these guys are doing does not feel congruent to who I am. And I also don't see it working very well when I meet up with them.

[Brian Green]

Wow, he's really endearing himself to the other applause here. I know. At least he's calling them out, I.

[Zach Bauer]

Guess, with these guys expecting to be blown away. And these guys would give me excuses about why they couldn't approach, about why it wasn't the right time, about, you know, some kind of social value or some, you know, they had a thousand different ways to rationalize it. So you Know, Rob and I realized, are there groups.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Going back to the groups of guys. So are there like Rob and Zach would go meet up with these guys based on other people saying they're good.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And then you'd meet up with the guys and then the guys wouldn't be able to perform?

[Brian Green]

I think yes. No pun intended. They did WiFi 3000. I think that a lot of these so called dating coaches, pickup artists, whatever you want to call them, instructors, they are just charlatans. They have no idea how to pick up a woman like John Anthony Lifestyle who literally pays women sex workers to be in his videos. According to everybody on the Internet who knows anything about John Anthony. But what they say is that then when you get to these courses where you pay tens of thousands of dollars to see them in real life, they tell you to do all of the work, but they always have an excuse as to why they can't do the work. And then, you know, what is his name?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Victories like nightclubs where this is going down.

[Brian Green]

Yes. There are videos of this. There are videos of this where they like take videos of themselves out there in the wild. What's his name? Adam the liar. Adam Lyons. Adam Lyons has a perfect excuse. He's married not once, but to two women or something like that. So he's always using that excuse as to why he can't go out and pick up these sets. But what he's saying actually now I'm, I'm with Zach on this point is like all these guys who are preaching this material and writing it down and selling you books and expensive courses and one on one coaching, they can't do it themselves. Because those who can't teach, that's what goes on. And this is the same thing in the real estate industry, same thing in the investment industry. Those who can't teach, teach. That's what they do. They make it sound like they know what the fuck they're talking about. They charge you tens of thousands of dollars to get you the knowledge that they have from many years of experience. The truth is they didn't make money in the real estate industry. And that's why they're teaching is because they don't really know how to do it or they would be out there making millions more dollars without bothering with one on one coaching calls at 7:15 on a Wednesday night. That's what the truth is. All right, we got more of this. Let's take a break and we'll be back.

[Commercial Break Announcer]

We're not a real podcast if we're not plugging our Instagram, right? That's right, honey. So follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And don't you forget TikTok at TCB podcast so you can see Brian and Chrissy on your homepage every day, which I know you're just simply desperate for. And if you want to see us in person, guess what? You finally can because we're coming to Florida because only Florida would let TCB come there. Just kidding. Kind of. You can come see us at Dania beach improv on Tuesday, September 24, and at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25. Yeah, I know you want to come to both days. That's right. Anyway, the links to both of those are in our show notes. So go get them, get your tickets, and then tell us that you're coming by texting us at 212-433-3822. And if there's anything else you need from us, I am sure you can find it on our website, tcb podcast.com live, laugh, love. Bye.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back with Zach Bauer, who is one of the guys that's behind the Trump, the new Trump digital altcoin trading platform, whatever it is. And he's up until, I guess, he got roped in with this Trump thing. He was a plot, a pickup artist. And he's teaching another type of scammer. Another. Yes, exactly. Another type of scammer.

[Zach Bauer]

There's got, like, we know guys that are far superior with women that are not in this dating advice community.

[Brian Green]

Of course they aren't. You think they have time to waste? They're actually getting women. They're actually out there socializing, being a normal person. They don't want to teach you how to do it. They want to do it themselves. They're good at it.

[Zach Bauer]

We went out, we started like, you know, hanging out with these guys, putting a lot of focus into, you know, what we were doing and what they were doing. Right. So along the way, we started getting great results. And, you know, we started teaching programs. We started getting guys out on live programs. And this is really where Date Hotter Girls got its start.

[Brian Green]

People would go through other Date Hotter Girls got its.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's a legendary book.

[Brian Green]

It's a legendary book. It's probably a website date how to girls.com programs.

[Zach Bauer]

And they would realize that they were, they were taught a lot of stuff about how to begin interactions, a lot of stuff how to do, like, these silly handshakes to build, like, what people are calling kino. And, you know, all this Stuff Kino.

[Brian Green]

It's a game I used to play at the Rusty Nail. Kino.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Handshake called the keno.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the kenobi. Oh, I know that handshake. The old keno handshake is where the bartender takes $5 and I never see it again.

[Zach Bauer]

Right. But no one was teaching them how to close the deal. Right. No one's, like, going. No one is going out there and showing. Guys, if you expect this girl to have sex with you, you can't be doing these things that you've been doing before you ask her to go home with you. Like, what girl is going to want to go home with the guy? I mean, I think Nick was talking about the this a bit. What girl is going to go home with a guy that can't shut up and just look at her and hold strong eye contact right now. Not to say.

[Brian Green]

You feel my strong eye contact? You want to feel something Stronger? Got some wy Brian 3000 boner broth at the house. Good for clitoral stimulation. You just rub it right on the badge.

[Zach Bauer]

Like, I necessarily agree with everything that Nick said, but at the same time, you know, that stuff is pretty on point as far as I don't necessarily.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Agree with everything Nick said. Who was like the speaker before him.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Yeah, go at him, bud. Get him. He's unassuming, but he's got balls. He's standing up there wrecking the paw industry. Meanwhile, he's also a poor. So we've yet to get to one meat and potatoes item.

[Zach Bauer]

He has real and have a true effect. And the fact is, like, now I'm going to take it back and tell you a little bit. Tell you an embarrassing story about, you know, where I was with this a.

[Brian Green]

Couple bitcoin where I used to be.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm picturing him, like, in an alleyway.

[Brian Green]

I'm picturing at mommy's daddy's house in the basement, the $20,000 Rolex.

[Zach Bauer]

A couple years, I was at a bar with Rob. This was maybe three and a half years ago or so I was at a bar with Rob. You know, we were just starting to, like, you know, get a reputation. And the fact of the matter was.

[Brian Green]

I get a reputation with whom? Look out for these creepies. Yeah, look out for these ass hats. They're writing a book or the four ways to erection or something.

[Zach Bauer]

I don't know that I was not that good with women. Right. Guys were looking at me and asking me questions and for advice and, you know, I gave it to them. But the fact was Like, I knew that I had.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I knew it was bullshit.

[Brian Green]

I knew I didn't know the first fucking thing. Yeah, I said, hey, I don't know, buy him a drink.

[Zach Bauer]

Moments that you guys think that I had had, you know, like I wasn't living those crazy fantasies that I believe that all these pickup instructors were. Were living. And so, you know, I knew in my heart that like this, like this just something wasn't right. I knew I was still doing.

[Brian Green]

I knew in my heart that this wasn't right. These pa. Manipulating women into sleeping with them wasn't right. So I decided to start my own manipulation techniques. Yeah, that worked more effectively is the whole thing.

[Zach Bauer]

And this smoking hot blonde, she walks into the bar and she's with this huge Jack guy that speaks French. Like, this guy, no homo. He's super good looking.

[Brian Green]

No homo. What is that? What? No homo, no cry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This chat guy speaking French.

[Brian Green]

He's speaking French. No homo. No homo, no shlomo. What is going on? There's some secret language I'm not in on. No homo. Meanwhile, you and Rob just spent the last three and a half years together reading ebooks, studying slate, studying night after night. Some homo. No homo. Some homo.

[Zach Bauer]

She's real charming. And, you know, we all just kind of start talking. So I look at this blonde girl and I start talking to her, right? I mean, this girl was literally like everything you could imagine. She was like, taller than me, even. So she was like 6:1. Plus she had heels on.

[Brian Green]

I don't think taller than you at 6:1 is like a huge accomplishment. Talk like she's like 6:10.

[Zach Bauer]

She was like, made up to the nine. Like, you know, platinum blonde hair, like, boobs pushed up, you know, up into her face pretty much. And, you know, I just. I got that feeling like, oh, like, yeah, like that's that girl. Like, that's the one that, like, I've been doing this for. Like, I can't wait. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

All my work has come to this moment right now. This is where all the hard work comes in first and go, what are we going to do here? I got the ball. Coach put me in.

[Zach Bauer]

Talk to her, you know, And I had this delusion that all this stuff that I'd been learning until this point was going to somehow get me this hot girl when she was in front of me, me. So what happens, right? I look at her, I make eye contact, I smile.

[Brian Green]

Smart, smart, smart. I like where you're going with this, Zach. You're calling the right play, buddy. Look at her. Talk to her. It's risky. It's risky, but you don't. You lose 100% of the chances you don't take. Go, buddy.

[Zach Bauer]

She smiles and I say, hey, what's your name?

[Brian Green]

You got it. You're going. You're almost there. I'd say, hey, what's your name? He's calling a dangerous play here. Only he looked at her yesterday. He looked at her eye contact, talked to her, said, hey, what's your name?

[Zach Bauer]

Tells me her name. And from there I'm like, oh, yeah. Like this is this. Like, this might be on. Like, I think I have.

[Brian Green]

This might be on. I got her name. This might be on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Dude, there's gonna be bouncing happening.

[Brian Green]

There's gonna be so much bouncing on my dick later. I got a half half hard. I know I'm in. I'm in. She's with the no homo friends guy. We're all going back home for a little jackhammer and bouncing.

[Zach Bauer]

That's right. So what do I do? I go into the fucking bullshit pickup material that I've been reading on the Internet.

[Brian Green]

Can you hold on one second? What was your name? Christina. Hold on one second. I gotta refer to my E reader and I'll be back.

[Zach Bauer]

Tell her about my stripper ex girlfriend. How she stole my Maserati and picked me up from the airport in a stolen Maserati and how we got arrested and what?

[Brian Green]

What, what? Oh, this was a story that someone told at the 21 convention. We reviewed this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my God. Were they that you make this up the story.

[Brian Green]

You make up the story. Yes, to make it sound like you're super hot and everybody wants you.

[Zach Bauer]

And maybe this story sounds familiar. Maybe you guys have read this one on the Internet, you know, and the fact is, is that the second I started saying this, it all fell to shit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, yeah. What's your name? Okay, Christina. Hey, Christina. Let me tell you about my stripper ex girlfriend who stole my Maserati.

[Brian Green]

Maserati.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And then picked me up in it.

[Brian Green]

In my own stolen Maserati and got arrested. I couldn't prove that I owned it since it was mine. So then I got arrested. The story makes no sense whatsoever. You're a dumb, dumb. And by the way, that story is on the Internet. We've reviewed this before. If you're using somebody else's story, you run the risk that someone else has heard it.

[Zach Bauer]

Be like, you have a stripper ex girlfriend. And I'm like, no, no, no, I swear, I really don't. Right, because who wants a guy with a stripper Ex girlfriend. That's a bright.

[Brian Green]

Wait, wait, hold on. You tell her this story, and then she asks you, she calls you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was just trying out some poi material on you. I'm writing a book. It's called the Four Dating Elements of Failure.

[Zach Bauer]

Like, that's not what a girl wants. You know, Nick was talking about this a little bit. Like, you have to give girls the experience that they want if you're going to successfully take them from a stranger to back to your room and having sex. And I'm not going to lie to you, it's not easy, right? So that's why, you know, you really need to be creating an experience and leading it in a very, like, a very, very succinct way and not give yourself much room to really mess up. And if you do mess up, because the fact is, is that this happens all the time. And I'll get into this when I start giving you guys exactly what, in.

[Brian Green]

Hour number five of my promised short speech.

[Zach Bauer]

Every time when, you know, I see a girl that I want. The fact is, is that, you know, you have to understand that you are gonna mess up. You know, there, like, there is no perfection. And the difference between what Rob and I came to understand and what everyone else that's out there on the Internet and the stuff that you guys have already been reading, the main difference is that, you know, when it comes to this pickup material, I'm sure you guys can relate, right? It's all predicated on giving you the perfect line so that you never mess up, so that you never fuck up. Right? So that you always have the perfect thing to say, Right? I mean, does this sound. This sound right?

[Brian Green]

Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. It's literally not another human being in the room.

[Zach Bauer]

Yeah, I mean, just.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, cool, bro. I'm listening.

[Zach Bauer]

If not, like, let me know. But, I mean, this is what we found. You know, all of this material is predicated on. I'm going to tell you exactly what to say, and it'll work in every situation. Now, the fact of the matter is that that's all wrong. And what Rob and I realized, and when we went from a place where we were having trouble getting girls to a place where girls were basically suggesting that we go home together.

[Brian Green]

I love it. I think this could be the four elements. Works every time.

[Zach Bauer]

The difference was, was that we weren't playing to avoid those rejections, okay? This is really important. What we were doing was we were playing for the wins. And the difference between this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The old numbers game.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the old numbers game. Here you're saying the same thing these other guys say. We're not playing for the losses. We're playing for the wins. Well, who is playing for the losses? You, Jack? Which guy? Which dude is looking for the rejection.

[Zach Bauer]

That we weren't saying to girls, worried about whether or not it was gonna mess up. We were saying things to girls with the hope that it would go well.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, that's a good theory.

[Brian Green]

That's a great premise to get out the door with. Hey, man, that thing on the positive side, we could get made tonight instead of last night. We went out the door and we're like, most likely gonna go home and help each other whack off.

[Zach Bauer]

That's the fact.

[Brian Green]

At least we have our E Readers.

[Zach Bauer]

Station of what I'm going to be talking about and the system that I'm going to be giving you guys. The first and most important piece of what it is that we're teaching right now and what it is that we're doing right now is called damage control.

[Brian Green]

We had a PR seminar now. Damage control.

[Zach Bauer]

Damage control to the matter is, is that no matter how good your line is or how good looking you are or, you know, how much money you have or whatever, there's gonna be friction in an interaction. Right. I mean, that's just. That's just how it is. If there's no friction in an interaction, then you have absolutely no emotional connection with this girl. This is this.

[Brian Green]

Wait. If there's no friction, then you have no emotional connection. I never had any friction with Astrid. We're married.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was trying to think. Yeah. That it wasn't the only friction that.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy had in her first interaction was Brian being there and Jeff wondering when.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He was going to leave you guys.

[Brian Green]

Delete. I was the friction. I was the sand in the engine.

[Zach Bauer]

Interactions going absolutely nowhere. And the thing that's funny is, you know, maybe many of you guys can relate. If you're already out there, you're already talking to women, it's really easy to do well when the girl's in front of you laughing and, you know everything's going well. Right. Like, how many guys have felt that? It's like, you know, like the girl's with you, it's kind of on, you know, and you kind of know what to do from there. Right. But it's the times when, you know, things are going tough. The times when the girls, not you, will like me.

[Brian Green]

Will like me. Look at my eye contact. Strong, rigid, captivating.

[Commercial Break Announcer]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Are my eyes bulging? I'm sorry if that's a bit creepy, but I went out the door today. Said I'm not gonna lose this one, Brian.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This damage girl.

[Brian Green]

This is damage control.

[Zach Bauer]

Having a great reaction to what it is that you're saying, where you have the opportunity to demonstrate who you are and also take control of the interaction and lead it back to a place that's conducive for you and her ending up in your bed together at the end of the night.

[Brian Green]

I'm with the first part of the sentence. Like, I'm with Zach on some of the stuff he says. But then he always has some bonehead interjection like, that's conducive. You got to bring it back to a place where it's organic for you and then take control so you end up in your bed later on that night. I'll be here all week.

[Zach Bauer]

Okay. So the fact is, is that when I go to approach a girl, it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for what you like, what you guys are probably like, think I'm looking for. For. Right. I'm not looking to get a positive review.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We know what you're looking for.

[Brian Green]

A no homo boyfriend you can steal her from. No hobo.

[Zach Bauer]

We're laughing. The only thing. And this is the first step of what I'm going to give you, which is our Farah system, which is basically like, system.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think he said Farah ferrous system.

[Brian Green]

Are we going to heat it up? I have theraflu. I have thera patches. I have thera cream. I've been using a lot of that.

[Zach Bauer]

Lately that Rob and I are doing right now. And this was basically what we learned we were doing after watching about 100 or so hours of infield footage of ourselves.

[Brian Green]

Infield footage. Where are you doing this? Comiskey Park. Are you at Wrigley in. Well, it sounds like an infield fly roll.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I got infield 100 hours footage. They were filming themselves interacting with women and trying stuff out for a hundred hours and then studying it.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Sounds like how I torture Christina with 100 hours a week of the commercial break. I. I realized yesterday we might want to add mental health services onto her insurance. Insurance. Oh, God damn, man. Well, that's the guy. That's the guy pulling the strings with Trump's new altcoin project. Listen, there's more to come from this guy. I have a feeling we'll be listening to more of Zach. I mean, listen, some of this I'm like, okay, I, I kind, I kind of see what you're saying, but you got to follow it up with something a little less shitty. Yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A little less hilarious.

[Brian Green]

Oh my gosh, this is funny. I like it. All right, let me tell you. Chrissy and I are going to be at Dania Improv in Dania Beach, Florida on the 24th of September. And we're going to be at the bone on the 25th. I will let you know that there are ticket brokers that are selling commercial break tickets out there. I can promise you that they're still available for the actual tickets. Ticket, face value ticket. Excuse me, the face value of the ticket on the website for especially that Orlando show. Don't go to no ticket brokerage. You're just going to get ripped off. You can find the links to buy the tickets in the show notes right here on our website, on our Instagram and you can just go to the venue itself. The Funny Bone Orlando and the Dania Improv at Dania Beach, Florida, 24th and 25th. Please come see us. We would love to see you. And if you're going to be there, let us know. 212-433-3822. That's 212-433-3822. Text us. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. Ask PCB. You know how to do it. Do it via text message. Do it via voicemail. However you do it, just do it, don't do it. Collect. We'll pick up the charges. Oh, yeah, yeah. Also tcbpodcast.com again you can buy the tickets on our website. There's a link to buy the tickets on our website. Get your free sticker. Hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address and away it'll go at the commercial break on Instagram. Please follow us YouTube.com the commercial break for all of our interviews, selected shows and clips. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Ram.