The TCB Everglades Peni Retreat

Summary

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The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode: "The TCB Everglades Peni Retreat"

Date: January 31, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley
Theme: Improv-comedy and biting social commentary on modern parenting, influencer culture, and the perils of self-proclaimed "healers"—with TCB’s signature irreverence and chaotic energy.

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Main Theme Overview

This episode is a whirlwind of TCB’s signature improv banter, centering on modern parenting mishaps, the absurdity of Instagram wellness gurus, and the dangers lurking in the world of spiritual retreats and “healers.” Bryan and Krissy riff on everything from gross-out parenting confessions and kids’ indoor play parks to viral influencers and the Netflix-era prevalence of “cults.” The show blends personal stories, sharp observation, and over-the-top humor—reminding listeners both to keep a skeptical eye on supposed gurus and to embrace life’s messy realities.

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Episode Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Parenting in the Wild: Adventure Air Fiasco

Timestamps: 02:45 – 16:30

• Bryan recounts a chaotic family outing to “Adventure Air,” an indoor play space, and skewers bad parenting styles encountered there.

  • Disgusting tales of kids in diapers with “snot, shit running down his leg,” and hands on everything (05:00).
  • The inevitability of kids bringing home germs: “It doesn’t matter how hard you try to clean your house or your children...they are going to get sick and they’re going to get sick very often.” [05:42]
  • Gross-out humor about diaper blowouts and the tribulations of diaper-changing.
  • “She just thinks it’s hilarious to wiggle and rise and grab down there when you’re trying to change her...the shit just ends up all over her hand, all over you, down on the floor. It’s just a whole fucking— [mess].” [07:30]

• Wipeout-Style Play Gone Wrong

  • Hilarious recap of a kid (possibly Bryan’s own) getting repeatedly pummeled by a “sweeping arm” in a Wipeout-like game, much to the delight of parents and consternation of other kids’ parents.
  • “For 30 straight minutes I watched as this kid just got repeatedly pounded in the head—his body was mangled, just flying all over the place. He thought it was funny. I thought it was funny.” [10:35]
  • Bryan reflects on wild-child behavior, accidental lessons in karma, and being judged by other parents.

• Bad Parenting Hall of Fame

  • Scene of “ladies of the night” at a children’s birthday party.
  • Absentee parenting: mom more focused on her outfit and wine than her crying injured child.
  • “Fifteen minutes later, mom appears with two glasses of wine in her hand and her tits all shaking out to say, ‘It’s okay, get up.’” [21:31]

2. Instagram Healers & the Cult of Gurus

Timestamps: 25:46 – 40:00

• Influencers Mocked:

  • Bryan skewers scantily-clad wellness influencers: “Nut hugger on and do some yoga poses...my flabby ass and man tits.” [26:14]
  • Calls out the empty self-aggrandizing quotes and ridiculous health claims made by these “healers.”

• The Dangers of the ‘Healing’ Industry

  • Bryan shares a real story (via friend and podcaster Allison Hare) about a so-called “mushroom therapist" in Georgia, later facing multiple lawsuits for sexual misconduct.
  • Discussion of how people in vulnerable states become targets for abuse by self-styled gurus.
  • “People who claim themselves to be healers... are probably just egomaniacs and possibly psychopaths.” [33:39]
  • Comparison to doctors’ God complex, but much less justifiable.

• Healer Stereotypes & Cult Documentaries

  • Lampooning man-bunned, “sun your anus” Instagram guys and their bizarre rituals.
  • “If you’re putting your brown star to the big yellow star in the sky, something’s wrong. Don’t follow that dude.” [35:57]
  • Netflix and HBO’s abundance of cult documentaries: followers idolize the messenger, not the message.
  • Reference to infamous “Mother God” and dangerous groupthink.

3. ‘Quantum Jumping’ and Wellness Woo-Woo

Timestamps: 47:19 – 61:00

• Live Commentary on Instagram Guru Video

  • Bryan and Chrissy cringe-watch an influencer’s “quantum jumping” motivational video.
  • Critique the content: superficiality, privilege, and mixing of “manifestation” buzzwords with influencer thirst traps.
  • “Here’s her in a thong, smelling flowers. Here’s her in a thong, jumping from one couch to the other... That’s how my kid does it!” [49:16]
  • Call out the disconnect: “Not everyone can just drop their lives and go to Costa Rica and take pictures in thongs.”
  • Parody of wellness affirmations:
    • “Change your perspective. That in itself can be very helpful. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change.” [58:40]

• Message to the Vulnerable:

  • Bryan’s ‘words of wisdom’: question the messengers, be wary of swallowing self-help pablum wholesale, and don’t idolize small-time or internet-famous gurus.
  • Closing satirical plug for the “TCB Everglades Peni Retreat”—a send-up of ridiculous healing retreats.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parenting & Chaos:
  • “I love them too, but we’re adults. We can control the way our body flies and how we land—most of the time anyway.” [03:18]
  • “How can you not get sick? How can you not be ill all the time?” [07:11]
• On Influencer Healers:
  • “They’re astronauts who are therapists, who also do magic mushrooms, who also have Instagram followings. I’m not sure what they are...” [30:22]
  • “I get concerned that... we idolize the person, we idolize the messenger. I think that’s a really dangerous place to be.” [39:07]
• On Cults and Groupthink:
  • “If you listened to a word that lady said, you would understand she’s a little bit loopy... She was dead for 27 days and they still thought she was delivering messages. People are delusional.” [43:36]
• On the Guru-verse:
  • “Why is it always some 40-something white guy with a beard, a little bit of salt and pepper, man bun, way too buff for his age...?” [41:52]
• On Wellness Pseudoscience:
  • “I can’t just magically get up and go to Costa Rica because I don’t like it here… I wish I could, but I’m not getting that Smartless money.” [61:09]
  • “There’s nuts and there’s little kernels. Like when you eat corn and you take a poop, there’s little kernels in there somewhere…” [62:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:45 – Parenting as full-contact sport at Adventure Air
• 07:30 – The horror and hilarity of diaper blowouts
• 10:35 – Kids versus the Wipeout machine
• 14:26 – Playground karma: “Yeah, whatever, man”
• 21:31 – “Wine Mom” cameo at the party
• 25:46 – Wellness influencer mockery begins
• 30:22 – The scammy mushroom therapy tale
• 33:36 – Netflix documentary wave on cults & “healers”
• 35:57 – “Sunning your anus” and other Instagram absurdities
• 39:07 – Reflections on power, vulnerability, and following the wrong leaders
• 47:19 – Quantum Jumping influencer video roast
• 61:09 – The reality check on “manifestation” culture & privilege
• 62:25 – Satirical outro and “Everglades Peni Retreat” reminder

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Tone & Style

This episode keeps TCB’s signature unfiltered, self-aware, and wryly anarchic energy. Bryan and Chrissy blend off-the-cuff confessions, biting satire, and sincere social criticism—always with a quick joke or a self-deprecating aside. The language is comedic, raw, and reflective, designed as much to provoke laughter as to encourage listeners to think twice about who (and what) they follow online or in person.

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Ideal for listeners who crave:

• Chaotic, smart-mouthed banter about modern life’s ridiculousness
• Relatable (often gross) parenting humor
• Sharp takes on influencer and wellness culture
• Laugh-out-loud moments mixed with real insight about vulnerability and choosing your healers wisely

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Transcript

[Candace]

I said that it was globes everywhere. There's propaganda, but it's the truth. And you know how many people who don't believe in flat earth, they believe in. They believe that we're, you know, in a solar system. They reach out to me. They're like, candace, you know what? You're right. I have been looking in stores, and there are globes everywhere. Like, they're globe toys and there's globes in the decorations. And you said that on your show, and people thought you were crazy, but it's true. Why are they pushing the globes? And I said, well, I think it's because of NASA want to spend billions of dollars a month. But they tried to say that I'm crazy because I said that. And they still go on my social media and my comments and they say, are you seeing globes everywhere, Candace? Are you seeing globes? I'm like, yep, I am.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the Commercial Break now, got some words of wisdom for you if you'd like to hear those. $299 plus $99 cents. You can call TCB, ask TCB3 and get my message. And then don't forget to join my Everglades retreat. The Everglades Peni retreat. I want you to sleep in this bag, and if you hear something poking around in the middle of the night, it's the peni.

[Heather]

You're being healed.

[Brian Green]

You're being healed. That's it. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, and this is the girl with all the Riz, Kristen Joy. Hl. Best of you, Buzzy. Brian, I'm best of you out there in the podcast universe. I'm trying to sound hep and cool with the kids, so I say riz. I got Riz.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, you got Riz, Which I.

[Brian Green]

Thought meant something totally different than it actually means. I feel like a rizzle drizzle. And I was wrong about that. It means charisma. I know. Charisma. Yeah, you got to keep up with all the comings and goings of the world, Chrissy, if you're going to be a noted podcast host, I just learned that Smartless will be moving over to SiriusXM.

[Chrissy]

I saw that.

[Brian Green]

For $100 million. Up next, yes, the commercial break. We moved for A$50 in a song, but that's okay because we were making 50 cents in a song, and so we decided to move to the place with $1.50. Yes, we did the podcast universe is in flux, and we're all moving from here to there. And it just goes to show that not even at the top are the waters calm and still.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Even at the top, the boats are rustling around, jockeying for position, if you will. But don't worry. This podcast will still be going on forever. We're contractually obligated to do 26, 40 more shows of this in January alone.

[Chrissy]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

And it's January 28th, so there you go. How we're going to get it done, I have no idea. I. I went to take. The kids were getting restless, so I took them over the weekend. I took them to this place called Adventure Air.

[Chrissy]

Adventure Adventure Air.

[Brian Green]

Which is like an indoor play place and sounds like it, despite the name of the place. It's not like a trampoline park. You know, trampoline parks are incredibly dangerous for young children, but we still take them all the time. I don't know why, because we've had at least one child that's broken a bone doing that. I love them, too, but we're adults.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so we can control the way our body flies and how we land most of the time anyway. So. So we go to this place at Adventure Air, and I got to tell you, I really had such a grand time at this place. Not that they have a lot of fun things for the children to do, but then, you know, the adults can get involved, too. They don't care if you also, like, they have slides and zip lines, and you land on, you know, air inflated things and foam pits and, you know, all kind of stuff. They have a floor that's just small trampoline. So you bounce from one trampoline to the other, hoping that you miss the crisscross grid pattern that is cement, basically, as you smack yourself down. I have a hard time even doing that.

[Chrissy]

And I'm sure this place is. Is sanitized.

[Brian Green]

Totally sanitized. Totally sanitized. Yes. Yes. Because I look across the room, and one toddler wearing nothing but a diaper green snot. He's basically slurping it up his green snot, and he's got shit running down his leg. His mom's dragging him around by one arm, and I'm like, that, you need a fishing license. But when it comes to parenting, don't worry about it. You're good. Whoever. Whenever. I cannot believe the way. I mean, as a parent and not. Not a very good one. And. And one that's still learning because my kids are very young, but you Notice some things sometimes, and it's hard not to judge exactly what's going on in that situation. You're like, wow, that is completely the opposite of what I would do. Now, I'm not saying parenting is not easy, and there's lots of different ways to get it done. And my dad proved you can just ignore the kids, basically, and hopefully they'll turn out okay. Yeah, dad, I'm a podcaster making no money. How are things going?

[Chrissy]

Thanks for that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, thanks for that. But there are, then there are just like clear cut instances where you know that that's just bad parenting altogether. Like dragging your kid across the floor wearing nothing but a diaper, shit rolling down his leg and snot. Just. He's just eating it for breakfast. It's disgusting.

[Chrissy]

Flying through on the zip line, shitting.

[Brian Green]

He was just like, he's doing this whole number. And then there's this climbing wall that the kids can climb. Like this electronic climb. It's hard to describe. Anyway, he's. He's like, just keeps on putting his hands inside these little climbing cups. They're not actual rocks. You. They're like inserts and you grab them and they're plastic, so they have more durability. He just keeps wiping his nose and putting it in there. Just wiping his nose and putting it in there. So one of the things that they have, the big, like in the center felt like sick. I know.

[Chrissy]

Coming on.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Just thinking about it. Yes. And that's why it doesn't matter how hard you try to clean your house, to clean your children, to keep them from touching things out in the world. It doesn't matter because they are going to get sick and they're going to get sick very, very often. There has not been 50. I mean, we have 50 people living in this household plus one obnoxious dog. There has not been 50 healthy people at one time in this house since we started having children. It just hasn't happened. Someone's always got some version of something and it's. It. I'm such a germaphobe. But you just have to get over it. You have to be like, okay, whatever. Got to get in there and get your hands dirty. Oh, someone just had a blowout. Okay. We, the other day, it's my wife's like, you check and see if the baby had a blowout. Well, I can smell the baby had a blowout a mile away. I know what that means. It means you want me to change the diapers. And that's torture for me because I really like I get physically ill when I see poop. I cannot take it. I just can't take it. I can do the blood gushing out of the head all day long. I was okay there. The is not for me. But I go to check the diaper, and you got to be careful because sometimes when you stick your hand in the diaper, you're just sticking your hand in a pile of poop is what you're doing. How many times has that happened? So many. But now.

[Chrissy]

Yep, yep. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

She herself. She also me. In addition to herself, she also me.

[Chrissy]

Affirmative.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's affirmative. You want to smell, because I could a mile down the street check and.

[Chrissy]

See if the baby had a boy.

[Brian Green]

I know what that means. It means go changer. That's what it means. If he's. Where have you been all day? Could you go change? Could you go pay attention to our children for one minute?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right, I get it. So one of the. Oh, I got. I gotta just follow up on that story. So I go to change her, and now she's at the point where she's got her own free will. You know what I'm saying? She's not just like a lump of lard sitting there. You just grab their legs, wipe their butt, throw the diaper back on and get it done with. Now they have their own free will, and they just. She just thinks it's hilarious to wiggle and rise and grab down there when you're trying to change her. So half the time, the shit just ends up all over her hand, all over you, down on the floor. It's just a whole fucking. Who's. How can you not get sick? How can you not be ill all the time? So in the middle of this adventure, Airplace, have you ever seen the show? And I know you have Wipeout.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Such a funny show. Such a funny show.

[Chrissy]

I have a love hate with those types of shows. Well, like, Jackass was definitely an extreme version of those type of things, but I. I have a love hate because I don't like to see people get hurt.

[Brian Green]

Well, and Jackass and on Wipeout, they're all volunteering to do this. It's not like they're. It's not like someone's coming across and hitting you across the head with a baseball bat, unbeknownst to you. I just love it. I think it's so funny because I love how people's bodies are flailing around and they're making jokes about it. They have the funny noises, the sound effect. Boy, it's kind of like the commercial break. So in Wipeout in the second round, they have like whatever they call it, the terminator, the stick. They're all standing on a podium.

[Chrissy]

Don't they have like the water too that circulated the lava, whatever it's supposed to be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's the end of it. But imagine there are five lily pads two stories in the air or 15ft up in the air, whatever it is. And then they have this big swinging arm and that there's an ar. There's a pole in the middle and then a big swinging arm and you have to jump over the pole as it sweeps around you. Right.

[Chrissy]

Can you duck?

[Brian Green]

You can duck, you can jump, you can do it however. You have to get it done. You get it done.

[Chrissy]

Just lay there.

[Brian Green]

You could. But usually they started putting like three different heights of them. Yeah. So you have to jump, duck, cover, jump, duck, cover, jump, cover. But it goes faster and faster until everyone's off and the last one standing obviously wins. Well, they have a kid's version of this in this place. It's on a big air mat. Blow up air mattress. Imagine like a huge blow up air mattress, three, four feet in the air and then they have two arms, one down low, one up high. And it kind of goes around relatively slowly. Right? So up, down, jump, duck, jump, duck, jump, duck. I could not stop laughing because there was one child and I refused to say whether that was my child or not. There was one child, he's young, he's not got the hang of all of his facilities yet, right. So he's trying his best to process what's coming at him, but he just can't always get it right. So sometimes he jumps and he gets his legs taken out from under him and he falls on his face, but it's not an air mask, etc, so, okay, right. Sometimes he ducks, but he ducks a little too slow and he gets hit in the head. Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

He loved parent over there laughing.

[Brian Green]

I could not stop laughing. He loved it. For 30 straight minutes I watched as this kid got. Just got repeatedly pounded in the head by this thing swinging around and hitting him in the head, hitting him in the head. He'd try and duck and hit him in the head. He'd try and get up and hit him in the back. He'd try and jump. The other one would come at him in the face. His body was mangled, it was just flying all over the place. He thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. It was the best thing in the world. And I Thought to myself, certainly my child now has brain damage because of this, because he just got repeatedly hit the head. But I'm like, what am I gonna do? The kids having fun.

[Chrissy]

Everybody's laughing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, some kids play football at this age. My kid tries to do the wipeout game. So eventually, like, at one time, at one point, he had it all to himself. But then other kids started joining in there. Well, he got smart at one point and just decided if he could outrun it then, then it would never get him because it's kind of going slow. So if he could just run in a circle, he could win. But he was taking the kids out along the way. He jumped from one. Well, he was not shoving necessarily, but he'd jump up on their lily pad. They'd get off their feet. Yeah. And then both of them would fall, hit each other. So other parents were getting upset. They were like, you can't do that. And I'm like, where are the rules for three year olds? Where are the rules for three year olds? You can't do that. What do you mean you can't do that? Try to tell a three year old to stay still for more than two.

[Chrissy]

Minutes in a place like that.

[Brian Green]

I think this place was awesome. I thought to myself, this is like commercial break Christmas party material right here. We should come here. Zip lines, slides. They had one slide. Have you seen those images of like the big water slides in Texas and other places where you slide, I don't know, a hundred feet, like straight down on an oiled, oiled piece of plastic, and then it has a lip at the end and you just go flying in the air, do twists and jumps or whatever. That looks like so much fun to me. But I know that it's probably terrifyingly terrifying because I hate heights. And so I probably wouldn't even want to look down.

[Chrissy]

But it, like, cross your arms.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. If I could get myself to the point where I could actually go, I think it would be fun. But I also know that it probably hurts when you land incorrectly on that wall. It's like landing on cement. So they have one of those slides, but you go off into like an air mattress. And the slide is not small. It's also not crazy big, but it's not small. These, some of these kids, some of the larger kids were getting some real air because they had some weight going down there. You know what I'm saying? Well, there was one kid and he was pushing and shoving all the way. There's like a line to get up on the slides. There's five or six slides attached to this one stairwell. They have people there that are trying to manage the process.

[Chrissy]

But imagine that's hard.

[Brian Green]

It's just really hard. And the kids want to pay no attention to anybody, right? So there's one kid comes bowling up his way, and he knocks over. I mean, he's just knocking over children, including mine. And so I put my hand in front of him and I said, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody's getting a turn here, bro. It's okay. Just take a deep breath. Settle down. Well, I'll get there. You knocked over this young lady here and a couple of others. You should stop. And he's like, whatever, man. Like that, you know, like Bart Simpson. I'm like, dude, even I know that's not cool. Whatever you just said, right? You could have said, settle down with your Riz or something, you know? I don't know. Whatever the kids are saying, hip hop, tick tock, get off it, kid.

[Chrissy]

Whatever, man.

[Brian Green]

That's what he said. He goes, whatever, man. I'm like, okay, dude. All right. So he comes bowling up. The guy upstairs like, hey, dude, you got to slow down. You can't just be knocking kids over. And he's like, whatever, man. Brat. Yeah, brat. Right?

[Chrissy]

Where you go? You can't do that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you can't do that. I did, but that, I think was inappropriate. You can't do that. Asking a kid to just stand still while some sweeping arm, some scary big arm comes to knock you off your pad. You can't tell a kid to sit still. However, a line. Everybody knows what a line is. From like 2 years old, you learn what a line is. You know what a line. You take your turn, and by the way, they're carrying these huge mats for the slide. So they're just knocking kids over as they go along to taking them out one by one. It's all dangerous. It's all a huge. Basically. But whatever. We're there and they're having fun.

[Chrissy]

He signed. He signed the waiver.

[Brian Green]

Yes. So this kid gets up to the top. He's older. He's probably 10, 11 years old. Big bigger kid, Big boned child, right? And he gets up there, knocks a couple more people on the way over. Make sure that he's first in line. Even though everybody's been waiting, he just cuts off. Everybody off. Everybody runs and jumps onto the slide with the lip. Well, he runs and he jumps off the slide with the lip and he catches some real air and he tilts sideways and he falls kind of on his shoulder, you know, with his head kind of bouncing on the air mattress. It was not a. It didn't look like it was a very comfortable position for him to land.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he gets up, and he's instantaneously crying, right? He's like, mommy, Mommy. So I yell down, and I go, yeah, whatever, man. Take that, karma, bitch.

[Chrissy]

One for the little people.

[Brian Green]

And then I got kicked out. They were like, okay, all right, that's enough. Yeah. I was like, instant karma. And part of me was. Wanted to be a dad and, like, go down there and be like, ah, it's okay. Because clearly the mom was nowhere around probably ever.

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

But I. Part of me wanted to be a dad and go down there and be like, all right, man, you landed sideways. It's okay. You get back up right again, you'll do it, right. It's okay. He didn't hurt him. I don't think he physically hurt himself. I think it was scary is what it was, the way he. He got a lot of air, and then he landed sideways. But then part of me was like, well, no, that's a lesson in life. You know, you're a. And you landed sideways. So there you go.

[Chrissy]

Your.

[Brian Green]

And you yourself. Yeah. Now do me a favor. Go check and make sure my daughter doesn't have a blowout. We'll see how you feel then. Dennis the Menace. Some people just cannot be parents. It's like, Chrissy and I were watching Tik Tok videos before the show, and there's this. I'll give him a shout out. It's called the Cringe Club. They're on Instagram. I think they're on Tik Tok, too. Oh, we were watching Instagram. They were on Tik Tok, too. And they, you know, put up cringy, like, videos. Right. One of the videos that they had, which is actually a series of videos they've been putting up now from the same creator, and it's a mother, and she is likening herself one of these mom fluencers. And she's a bigger bone lady herself, let's just say it that way. She's got her phone obviously set somewhere in the kitchen so that you can see what she's doing. And what she's doing is she. It. On the. The text, it says, follow or watch me as I make my kids breakfast.

[Chrissy]

Breakfast, yeah.

[Brian Green]

She takes a donut. Like an extra double size, extra large Krispy Kreme doughnut. I mean, the kind you buy at the grocery store for $1.99 that, you know, have been cooked in the oil that the potato salad was cooked in yesterday. You know what I'm saying? Like the extra fatty, fatty. And then they just jizzle, drizzle. That whole thing with sugar, I mean, it is in sugar. It's all over the place. It's covered in white sugar. She takes it, cuts it up into 10 little slices, puts a farto rama juice box on that kid's plate and hands it to her child, who's watching cartoons, by the way, in the morning, who couldn't be more than two years old. Could not be more than two years old. And the kid even looked at her like this. Huh? That's what you want me to eat for breakfast? And starts eating it. You put a donut in front a sugary donut in front of a kid for breakfast every morning. That is the best household in the world. Until it's not the best household in the world. Yeah. How are these people? How are these people procreating?

[Chrissy]

I, yeah, it's. It was disturbing.

[Brian Green]

I'm not saying I never give my kids sugar for breakfast because if I have to make breakfast, it's waffles and syrup. Yeah, it's Mickey shaped waffles and syrup. Usually the Mickey shape came in the eggo box before I even made it. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I mean, I guess anything's better than nothing, but. For sure, but, but geez.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you guys are all going the way of the dodo bird if you keep on feeding your kids these sugary trees. Just talked about this the last episode. Once they get that taste, they never get it out of their mouth. It's like that Tammy and Bammy Lou or whoever on my thousand pound sisters, they think that Diet Coke has negative calories in it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable. This is the households that these people were raised in. And I don't think that donuts. So when I go to one of these places, these Adventure air indoor park, you can really see how terrible the parenting is.

[Chrissy]

Oh, I bet.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There's a.

[Chrissy]

There's all kinds.

[Brian Green]

There's a birthday party going on in the back.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

In one of these rooms, right. And two of these mothers are dressed up. Swear to God. Dressed up like, I don't know how I say this nicely. Girls of the night, ladies of the night. Okay, that's probably the best way to describe it. They are full blown clown makeup on, boobs hanging out, high cut skirts. It is 26 degrees outside in Atlanta. They have. There's nothing on under those skirts. And they're prancing around in their high heels, right?

[Chrissy]

This was the birthday party.

[Brian Green]

The birthday party that was going on in the back of this adventure air. They had, like, five separate private rooms. This was one of them. So the reason why I even knew that these ladies were in a birthday party is because I walked to go to the restroom, and. And this lady had two cups of wine in her hand. And when I tried to pass her, she refused to move to the side. So I was like, oh, okay, I guess I'll back up from the hallway so that you can get out with your two cups of wine.

[Chrissy]

Oh, she was coming towards you and coming toward me.

[Brian Green]

I was in the hallway. She turned the corner. When she turned the corner, she didn't move. Like, she could have just moved to the side. We all could have gotten by, but she did, right? So then when I'm coming back, I notice she's in one of these glass rooms. Okay, whatever. Five minutes later, I see this little kid, cute little kid bouncing on one of those trampoline things. And he bounces and he hits one of those cement grids. The things in the middle. Yeah, he hits it with his knee, right? And instantaneously, he's crying. And instantaneously, some of the attendants that are there run over, because I think they can also tell that this kid may have just really hurt himself. Not just like, I will boo. Boo, but just hurt himself. He is crying, crying, crying, right? And I happen to be close, and even though the. The people came over, I just kind of walked over and I'm like, are you okay? Are you okay? And he just wouldn't even look at anybody. He's just crying, crying, my mommy. My mommy. Guess what? Fifteen minutes later, mom appears with two glasses of wine in her hand and her tits all shaking out to say, it's okay, get up. That's what she said to him. It's okay. Get up.

[Chrissy]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

And then walk back to the party, because her looking the men, the single men or the married men or the whatever, all the dads looking at her tits were more important than her kid, who probably just broke his patella on the goddamn trampoline thing. It pisses me off. We should have tests to procreate.

[Chrissy]

I can imagine. There's all forms, you know, with those types of places that you see parenting, crying, laughing, mad, mad.

[Brian Green]

It's all there. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Poop, snot.

[Brian Green]

It's like scrapes. Yes. It's like we've said, concussions, Blood pouring out of your head, getting questioned by the nurses. Do you have a safe place to live. Would you consider your home a loving environment? And I'm like, what? Shut up. With the stitches in. Do I consider my home a loving environment? Who says no to that?

[Chrissy]

I know.

[Brian Green]

No, not really. I don't know. I don't. I'm never around them. Yeah, it sounds like everything's okay out there. You ever heard of the commercial break? Can I turn you on? You follow on Apple real quick. Hey, before you put those stitches in, can you follow on Apple? Yeah, yeah, give them versed, whatever you need to.

[Heather]

Give me your phone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, give me your phone. I'm gonna. While you're doing stitches, I'm gonna pull it up. I'll make sure you hear it. Okay, let's take a break and, you know, maybe, maybe we'll show up on the other side of it. Yeah.

[Show Announcer]

Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting, Brian, give us a call at 626-ASKTCB-3. Leave us a voicemail and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TCB8383 and check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for things tcb. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of the commercial break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. Well, the earth just turned one year older and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit, I have Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon recreates all the flavors that we loved as children without all the baggage that goes in our bellies. It has all the flavors you love, but it's high in protein and it has less sugar. Astrid and I just bought a variety pack that has four flavors. Cocoa, fruity, frosted and peanut butter. This pack has 0 grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and 4 to 5 grams of net carbs. It's only 140 calories per serving. It's high protein, has 0 grams of sugar, keto friendly, gluten free, grain free and soy free. And I get the taste of my favorite cereal without all the guilt. Magic Spoon is returning to the commercial break as a sponsor and we're so happy that they're offering you a discount. Go to magicspoon.com tcb to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code TCB at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon, Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 100 happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. Absolutely no questions asked. Remember to start the near off right with a delicious bowl of high protein [e-mail] tcb and be sure to use the promo code tcb to save $5 off. That's magicspoon.com tcb and use the code tcb to save $5 Off. Thank you, Magic Spoon for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to late night after I get out of the studio. So you know how we oftentimes hear, we talk about these creators, like the women who pose with nothing but a thong on and, you know, getting by the Instagram nipple cover and it'll be like, you know, your world is lonely until you realize you're loved by my nipples, by my enlarged labia, that I just got revaginated at the local doing.

[Chrissy]

Like a yoga pose.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yoga pose. With, you know, their vagina lips hanging out. You know, your best friend would be your only enemy of love or whatever the fuck they put. And you're like, what in the. What in the. What does this have to do with the price of tea in China? I don't understand. I'm not getting it. I'm not picking up on it. Right. But you know, okay, all right, it's, they have more followers than we do. So I guess there's something to it. Maybe I should put a nut hugger on and start doing those things. Maybe I will actually do some yoga poses. Do some yoga poses. My flabby ass and my man tits. So we're always, you know, kind of making fun of the.

[Chrissy]

Picture of that. Kiss me.

[Brian Green]

So we're always, I think, I think maybe not making fun of, but poking at the hypocrisy that is, yes, some of these influencers. But there is, this is going to take a little bit of a serious turn, but not too serious. It's a commercial break. Let's take a bit of a serious turn as there's this other level of influencers who really consider themselves healers and they think you know, I had a bad spell of drinking in college and I sobered up, mainly because now I only drink wine out of a bottle and it's more than $100. But I'm a healer because I one time went to a retreat and, you know, I made it all the way to Sonoma for a healing seminar. Right. You know, and now they're healing everybody. I'm healing every. Come to my healing retreat. I'm healing you. And they consider themselves spiritual gurus, right? Some quasi spiritual guru, self aggrandizing, egotistical ass clowns that are out there just pretending that they have all the answers to your woes. Especially when you're in a vulnerable position, which oftentimes we find ourselves in 100% of the time in 2024, it's hard not to feel like the world's beating you up a little. Whatever your problems are, emotional, spiritual, financial, you know, death in the family, sickness in the family, whatever it is, it leads to this kind of existential crisis. Sometimes looking for something, you're looking for something, anything. And I know so many of these people that are just really. And I say the seekers. The seekers are the seekers because they are deep feelers, they are deep thinkers, and they want something more out of life than clocking in, clocking out and putting Smile.

[Chrissy]

And they procrastinate.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're procrastinating just like Chrissy and I. But we have a whole lot of friends who I would consider seekers. And some of them not for reasons, because they're so vulnerable, just because they're genuinely curious. Right? They're, they, they think there's a better way to live and they're out there trying to find it, and I applaud them for that. I am a procrastinator, so I'm too lazy to do any of that. But should I ever get there, I'll feel that way too. But I have, but in all seriousness, I have been there and I have done it. And I've been through the seminars and I've read the self help books and I've studied other religions and I've, you know, whatever. I've meditated. Yes, Even sometimes naked. And by the way, while we're on the subject of influencers taking half naked poses and writing stupid things on their Instagram captions, it is not meditating if you have a, if you're taking a selfie at the same time. I'm just sharing that I do not know which meditation class you went to where they said videotape it and Then repost it on TikTok with some clever ass saying from fucking Dr. Wayne Dyer and that will make you heal. I don't know what that is. I say all this because I was speaking with a good friend of ours, Alison Hare of the Culture Changers podcast. Yes. Love Allison, too. She's been a fan of the show and a friend of the show for a long time. And maybe even part of the reason why we even got into this business in the first place was true. Allison was, you know, promoting podcasting in general and asked if we wanted to. If I wanted to.

[Chrissy]

She was an early adopter.

[Brian Green]

She was. So Allison and I were talking the other day and she was sharing with me an interesting story, and I connected the dots. One of my friends a couple of months ago, about a year ago, decided that he was going to do. How do you say that?

[Chrissy]

Psilocybin.

[Brian Green]

Psilocybin mushrooms. Why do I keep calling? Seek asylum.

[Chrissy]

Seek asylum seeking Psilocybin.

[Brian Green]

Psilocybin. Some words just don't come out of your mouth. Psilocybin. He was going to do psilocybin therapy. That means a trained, quote, unquote therapist. Mushroom therapist will be with you while you take a journey on the magic mushrooms. And that leads to, I don't know, some deeper level of consciousness, awareness, whatever.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it's becoming a thing.

[Brian Green]

It's very much a thing. But then there are therapists, and then there are the knots. I don't know what they call themselves. They're theauts. They're astronauts who are therapists who also do magic mushrooms. Right. Who also have Instagram followings. I'm not sure sure what they are, but they're people who think that they can walk you through these things, and they have little to no training about any of this. They certainly probably don't have any medical experience. They haven't been trained to do this.

[Chrissy]

They've just done it themselves.

[Brian Green]

They've just done it themselves and they've watched a bunch of other people do it, and they figure they get you through a bad trip, no matter what happens. That may be the case because mushrooms in general are not very dangerous if done correctly. Right. No one overdoses on magic mushrooms. Doesn't happen. You don't hear about that. But she, my friend, decided he was going to go do this, and he did go do this. And he ended up becoming friends with the person who was administering this type of treatment and his wife, who own a healing center here in Georgia. They end up getting invited to a Costa Rican psilocybin retreat, which is probably about as hokey pokey as you can as it sounds. The Psilocybin Magic mushroom Costa Rica retreat. Right. In other words, pay $4,000, stay in a rented house that we paid $100 for. We're gonna get some people to cook you some food that probably doesn't taste very good. Yeah. Drink smoothies and eat cabbage and, you know, shit your brains out and then do some mushrooms overlooking the beautiful forest and hopefully the howler monkeys don't eat your face off. Right. That kind of thing.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So he goes and he's like, comes back and he says, hey, yeah, I said I wasn't. Yeah, you know, I. I like the guy. He's a little weird, but, you know, I like the guy. And man, is his wife smoking hot. So, you know, it's kind of. And I always are. Of course they are, because that's what solidifies it in some people's heads. It's like, well, she married him. How bad could he be? I mean, he's got his together if he marries someone that looks like that. And she happens to be well spoken too, because I, you know, heard her, but there's no doubt she's an attractive woman. So Allison and I are speaking, and Allison says that in her group, in her circle, there had been some people who had done something very similar. And, and I think, actually I'll say it, Allison did it because she said it on her podcast. So I don't think she minds me sharing it here either. She did it and she says that she did it with this guy. And this guy and his wife own this healing center. And I'm like, holy, it's the same dude. Now this dude is being sued by multiple women because they, he had taken advantage of them while they were in some kind of treatment. Right. Took advantage of the power that he had, the perspective that these women had, that he was some kind of guru, some kind of magic mushroom healer. Like his, you know, dick would touch them and heal all things. And, and he had no problem using his dick to heal all things. You know, he was like touching their clitoris to get rid of their migraine headaches or. Right. Sticking his finger in their ass because, you know, unprocessed trauma from their 14 year old boyfriend or whatever it was. And so now they are. There are multiple women that are suing this man, that clinic these things because of this situation. This, by the way, is a story that has been repeated so many times.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, there's a bunch of Netflix documentaries.

[Brian Green]

About this yeah, Netflix and Amazon are having a field day with this. I mean, honestly, they're making a boatload of money retelling these stories because this is not an uncommon phenomenon. People who claim themselves to be healers, all seers, all knowers, all doers, are probably all fixers, are probably just egomaniacs and possibly psychopaths.

[Chrissy]

Or if they didn't start off like that, then they become like that.

[Brian Green]

I think. I think you're right about the admiration.

[Chrissy]

And love of all of these people.

[Brian Green]

Allison and I were saying the exact same thing. Is it not possible that it's kind of like doctors who get God complexes? They walk into an emergency room, they save lives, right? They walk into emergency room, they make mistakes, people die. You start to feel a little bit like you have. You're a God complex. You know, I'm not saying that happens with all doctors. I'm saying it is a noted phenomenon amongst some types of doctors. They have God complexes because they are literally have people's lives in their hands, and they have the ability to save those lives in certain circumstances. And I'm sure they lose some lives too. No, they do. But when you start having people really admire you at a certain level. This is why I will never have a God complex, because no one has ever admired me. For the commercial break, you should see some of these comments that come in. Brian's all right, but Chrissy, man, she's awesome. I think you're the show. I swear, so many people just love you. And they're like, brian's just a blowhard, but Chrissy keeps him in check. So there's no God complex happening here. I have a very normal man complex. I have a very three and a half inches when hard complex is what I have. I am right down the middle. Average.

[Chrissy]

Well, yeah, no, in people. In Pat. And, you know, once you have power, it's kind of like the. The power complex. You have power over other people and that type of thing.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I think people who are in power. I read this about Elon Musk, actually, some of his friends, people have known him for a long time, said that he knows that he has the power to affect people's lives in great ways, to actually change humanity in one way or shape or form because of his power and riches. And so that is a dangerous kind of dangerous place to be. But let's take it back down from Elon Musk and take it back down to your general creepy Instagram healer.

[Chrissy]

Right, Man Bun.

[Brian Green]

Yes, Man Bun. Dude in the woods drinking his own pee, using Fox jizz to make his short and curlies more short and curly. You know what I'm saying? You get it? Those kinds. Yeah. And I'm mostly talking about tanning Uranus. Yes, yes. If you're putting your brown star to the big yellow star in the sky, something's wrong. Don't follow that, dude.

[Chrissy]

You've got way too much time on your.

[Brian Green]

Way too much time. And you obviously don't know that anuses are supposed to be hidden away. They've known this for a long time, by the way.

[Chrissy]

That's why there are two big.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's two big butt cheeks that cover it up. And pretty much since we started fire, maybe beforehand we were covering that shit up with something because we were like, oh, that's a stinky binky right there. That's a stinky pinky. We got to try and put something between us and the assholes of the world. We're not baboons. We don't throw our asses everywhere.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

So I, I, I say this because I, I, I genuinely get concerned about some of my friends, about some of the people that I know. I get concerned that not only may they be healers that think this, but that they may be following healers that think this. There is a fine line between taking someone's advice and finding someone to be wise in the moment and saying something to you that needed to be heard. I honestly think when those moments come, it's coming straight from the universe. It's not about the person that's talking to you.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

It's about the message that's coming through that person. You know, a lot of these great musicians, they'll say, well, I'm not playing the music. I'm just a conduit for the music. It's coming from the universe. And that in and of itself sounds hokey pokey. So join my Costa Rica hokey pokey retreat.

[Chrissy]

Sign up now.

[Brian Green]

Sign up now. I got a payment plan. The payment plan is the best.

[Chrissy]

We'll be going to the Florida Everglades.

[Brian Green]

We're gonna go to the Florida Everglades. You'll be sleeping in a tent. I'll be at the Ritz Carlton, Amelia Island. Let me know if you need anything. I've left you all a bag. Yes, I've left you all a bag of mushrooms. And instructions on how to sun Uranus when high.

[Chrissy]

You should find yourself there.

[Brian Green]

Yes, you should find yourself there. Beware of gators. I'm giving you all a one person pop up tent and a yoga mat. That I stole from Adventure Air full of kid snot. But you need to be exposed to these kind of germs. Fuck vaccine. Go to adventurer. You'll cure yourself of anyone.

[Chrissy]

You'll be really sick, but then you'll be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but then you won't be. Then you too will be your own healer. It's basically a grow yourself into your own kind of Instagram healer.

[Chrissy]

Sign up for our healing retreat and Adventure Hair, one of the birthday party rooms, hookers included.

[Brian Green]

I want you to get a blow job from this lady holding two glasses of wine. She's got kids already, so be careful. Yeah, I get concerned that some of the people that we, that we know and maybe some of the people that are listening to the show, although I'd like to think that they're sharper than the average bear, that we follow these people because we're vulnerable. And instead of listening to the message or in ingesting the message, we, we idolize the person, we idolize the messenger. And I think that's a really dangerous place to be. And I think this about a lot of religions too, is that we start idolizing the fictitious or the real or however, whatever you want to say, characters in the story, and we, we lose the message in that. Right. Well, he did this.

[Chrissy]

And she again, Netflix has a ton of those.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely gold. Yeah, you don't. I mean, honestly, it's 2024. We still doing this? Yes. Are we still feeling.

[Chrissy]

Still doing this?

[Brian Green]

Flying to India to get molested by some yoga teacher? I mean, come on, guys. Who is that guy? You know? Yeah, the yoga guy. Yes. That guy was the worst.

[Chrissy]

That was bad.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that was pretty bad. So I say this because I just want to give like a clear headed warning Almost that it's 2024, information is readily available. Messages are readily available. They're available. And you can see tits at the same time by scrolling through Instagram.

[Chrissy]

Like, just download the app.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, just download the app. You don't need to go to some retreat and put yourself in a position with the. As a vulnerable person. Maybe you're going through a bad time and then have people that put themselves in places of power so that you idolize them and not the messaging, because the messaging is weird and it's gray and they don't know what they're talking about. But it sounds cool on Instagram. I mean, all this other stuff.

[Candace]

Stuff.

[Brian Green]

And, or, and, or you may be intoxicated at the time. Yeah, right. Which is a very fashionable thing to do right now and probably not for everybody. Even though they would like you to think that it is. And then you get yourself into position or people get themselves into a position where they're real. Harm can be done. Evidenced by this ass clown running around Atlanta. I'm not going to say his name because he hasn't been to court yet. So this thing, this could all be untrue. But it sounds like it might be because even my friend said there's a real creep factor going on with this guy. Man bun and all right, why is it always some 40 something white guy with a beard and a little bit of salt and pepper man bun way too buff for his age. Like he has too much time on his hands, he's going to the gym a lot or, you know, sunning his anus or doing pull ups on a jungle vine. I'm not sure what's going on there, but why is it always so stereotypical? I guess because. I guess because that's the way it is.

[Chrissy]

People are following.

[Brian Green]

And by the way, I do know that this has happened to men with women healers too. I have friends again.

[Chrissy]

Netflix.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Chrissy, we should get Netflix as a sponsor at this point.

[Chrissy]

I did. I watched the one about the woman that started like. It was like the sexual healing one.

[Brian Green]

Oh, which one? Which one? Was there one on Netflix?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I can't remember the name of.

[Brian Green]

It, but I watched and she was diddling the dudes.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, I mean, she was showing people how to.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really? Oh, please do send that one. I'd like to see that one.

[Chrissy]

I will. But it turned bad.

[Brian Green]

It's like this Mother God lady, right?

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah. I haven't even gotten through all that.

[Brian Green]

It was drinking colloidal silver. She turned silver and they still thought she was a God. She was dead for 27 days and they still thought that she was delivering messages. People are delusional. That's insane. She was silver. That Lady Amy was silver. Mother God. Watch it. It's on Netflix. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

No, no, hbo.

[Brian Green]

Oh, HBO is Max.

[Chrissy]

Whatever it's called.

[Brian Green]

Turner, tnt, Max S plus Cartoon Network minus Double D, Double Tap. I don't know what it's called anymore, but it's got good shows on it.

[Chrissy]

That's all you need to keep it simple with TCP minus.

[Brian Green]

I know, TCB minus all your favorite places somewhere else, all your favorite television shows somewhere else. That's it. So I. This. This to me is. It's super bothersome because when I watch a documentary like Mother God and I see just how blinded people are by the messenger and not Listening to the message. Because if you listen to a fucking word that lady said, you would understand. She's a little bit loopy, like she's not lost the plot.

[Candace]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And these people follow her blindly, I think because they're so desperate to hear a message, to be a part of something important, to be part of the change, to be part the tip of the spear that changes the world. We can all. You can do that, but you don't have to follow someone who's silver in a wheelchair while they're rolling her dead bones around half of God damn United States of America. And you still think she's like, you know something's happened to you. You're putting electrolometers next to her feet. You know why? She was conducting electricity? Because she was silver. God, if I painted myself silver, I'd conduct electricity too. It's so easy to understand. I don't get it. I have to tell you, this is really driving me crazy. And the more and more I see this on Instagram, the more and more concerned I get that we're. That everyone is just all of a sudden starting to follow their own little micro healers and we're all going to be having a party in the woods once a year to kill ourselves off by drinking fucking colloidal silver and doing mushrooms up our ass while we're sunning our bums. I can't take it anymore. We got a. Slow down, slow down. It's okay. It's confusing. The world's scary. It's a big bad place. We're all in our own little corners. We're trying to fight each other and all this other stuff. It's okay. It'll be all right. Now, I've got some words of wisdom for you if you'd like to hear those 299/99, you can call TCB, ask TCB3 and get my message of the day. And then don't forget to join my Everglades retreat. The Everglades Peni retreat. I want you to sleep in this bag. And if you hear something poking around in the middle of the night, it's the peni.

[Heather]

You're being healed.

[Brian Green]

You're being healed. That's it.

[Chrissy]

It's working.

[Brian Green]

So on the backs of all this, I thought I would absolutely like to go to a video that I know you're not going to like, Chrissy, but I'm going to share it. I know, I know you don't like this girl, but I found one.

[Chrissy]

Oh, that girl.

[Brian Green]

Oh, here she. But I'M gonna. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna let you suffer through three segments of it. We'll only suffer.

[Chrissy]

The girl who had dog.

[Brian Green]

The night sky, whatever her name is. Yeah, the girl dog. He.

[Chrissy]

It's all over the house. We watched that one video.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Chrissy]

And then now it's completely different.

[Brian Green]

It was so.

[Chrissy]

Got followers.

[Brian Green]

Well, yeah, now she got followers. She got someone to clean her house.

[Chrissy]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

The lady probably doesn't even get paid. The cleaner doesn't get paid. She just gets healing. I got he over here. Let me suck on your titties. I'm healing you. All right, so let's do this. Let's take. Let's take a short break, and then we'll come back, and I'm going to show you one of my. One of my favorite healers out there doing it the right way. Dog in the background and everything. All right, we'll be back. Finally.

[Show Announcer]

I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Want it to be your turn to talk. Call us and spill the tea at 626askTCB3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 8:55 tcb8383. And, boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors, and let's get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

Okay. And we're back. And all right, so we've been talking about these Instagram healers and, you know, the hokey pokey, the people who basically gather a following by posting crackpot on the Internet. Not all of it's crackpot, by the way. I want to share that. That sometimes the repeating messaging that has been heard and seen and followed from many, many.

[Chrissy]

I mean, I like to take it all with a grain of salt.

[Brian Green]

I do, too.

[Chrissy]

I think you and I are both. We share that. We're spiritual people that are, you know, open to new ideas.

[Brian Green]

But I'm not into the dogma. I don't want to follow someone around. I don't want to follow. You know, I don't want to be, you know, walking from village to village asking for a grain of rice while knocking a tin can around. You know, I just don't. I'm sorry. It's just not for me.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'm already. I already get. I already can't eat here at the house because I got 30 children that ask for something the second I sit down. I'm eating a grain of rice a day. If you noticed. I lost a lot of we. Here's one of my favorite healers, Star Sky. I don't know what her name is. Starry sky, something like that. She's been around the Internet. She's been making her waves around the Internet. She's now got some followers. And here she is. She's gonna show us how we can transmute into our highest energy. Chrissy. Oh, I know you're gonna love this. Okay, here she is. Attractive looking woman, by the way. Yeah.

[Heather]

Reality is a real thing. And I feel like this is actually.

[Chrissy]

Reality is a real thing.

[Heather]

Quantum jumping in reality is a real thing.

[Chrissy]

A quantum.

[Heather]

I feel like this is actually something that I personally do quite often where it's lit.

[Brian Green]

I bet you do quantum jump a lot in your life that I. I don't have a hard time believing.

[Chrissy]

Why is he walking?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Machu Picchu.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Who knows really? Like, it's probably Epcot, but it looks like Machu Picchu.

[Heather]

The obligatory in different realities where it's.

[Chrissy]

Like, what is, what is that?

[Brian Green]

I have no idea.

[Chrissy]

Took a leap.

[Brian Green]

She just jumped from one cat to the other. Yeah. First of all, she's talking. And as she's talking, she's showing some B roll footage of herself topless, facing away from the camera with a thong on, swinging a stick. I don't know how that gets you closer to God. Here's her in a thong, smelling flowers. Here's her in a thong, jumping from one couch to the other. Whoa, that's good form right there. Yep, that's how my kid does it. That's a. When he.

[Chrissy]

Is that her? Jumping quantums.

[Brian Green]

Yes, jumping quantums.

[Heather]

Where's Heather? And it's like, oh, she's living in a different country, doing a different thing, living a whole new life. She's living her dream. And this is not to brag at all whatsoever.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Of course not.

[Chrissy]

Where's Heather?

[Brian Green]

Why would we think that? Where's Heather? Oh, she's living in a new life in a different country. Not to brag. She's living in Costa Rica, driving a Range Rover. The one her daddy bought her. Yeah.

[Heather]

Definitely have my trials as well and have to go through my own challenges. And there are things that come with that as well. But for the most part.

[Brian Green]

But for the most part, I'm untouchable I don't have feelings.

[Chrissy]

Everything's great.

[Heather]

I am out here just kind of like quantum jumping in reality and just like manifest.

[Brian Green]

Thong. More thong.

[Candace]

No.

[Brian Green]

Why are you showing yourself so much on a thong? What does this have to do with anything? I mean, I get it, you got a beautiful body, show it off if you want to to. But I think that's a different kind of video we're looking at, you know.

[Heather]

Sing and shifting to different dreams of mine and living this full experience. Because really, like, that's what I personally came here on earth to do is to fully fulfill my mission and fully fulfill.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Just remember, when you're not fulfilled, you can get fully fulfilled.

[Heather]

Experience, explore, honor, celebrate the beauty.

[Brian Green]

Explode, explore, honor. Experience. Adjectives. Adjectives. Adjectives. That's not an adjective. It's a verb actually, Brian.

[Heather]

Life. And to see what is out there and to fully experience and live at my full potential. Like, I don't know, if we're not doing that, then like, what are we even really doing here?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because all of us can just afford to drop our lives at a moment's notice, run down to Costa Rica and take the pictures and thongs. The. You act as if this is crazy to believe that. That 99.9% of the people who may listen to this video, may watch this video could ever experience those same things. Because that takes money. And in order to. In order to have money, unless your mother or father gave it to you, you won the lottery, or you have done it on your own, which usually 22 year olds are not doing, then guess what? You cannot live a life like this. Right?

[Heather]

So yeah, you definitely deserve this too. And I'm really excited because it's actually very easy to quantum shift in your reality. And again, I'm not just talking about like quantum shifting. Like, oh my God, I'm living in a different reality. Everything's different.

[Chrissy]

But yes, you are.

[Brian Green]

Yes, you are. Oh my gosh. Come on down to Brian Green's Magic Mushroom Castle. I'll quantum shift left and right. I got here one room with a picture of the Costa Ricans and another picture from the Amazonians. You two can quantum shift by walking from one room to the other. Hi on Magic Mushrooms. Quantum shift to your heart's delight. 39.99.

[Chrissy]

Go into my moss room.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Oh, look, there's my moss room. Also known as black mold. But don't worry, you're on magic mushrooms. Seiko Sablin, as Brian would call it. You'll be fine.

[Heather]

It's like, no I mean literally manifesting straight up miracles. Shifting timelines to where your situation, your relationship, your experience, everything is completely different. Shifting to the.

[Chrissy]

Hold on. First of all, she just put up like some text.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah. And that text said quantum Leap.

[Chrissy]

Leap colon. Shift your highest timeline and reality. That includes the most beneficial and enjoyable experiences.

[Brian Green]

Sure, let's all sit at my favorite bar and sucking until I'm dry. That's a quantum shift.

[Chrissy]

How about Quantum Leap was a great show though.

[Brian Green]

Quantum Leap was a great show. Clearly not created by Heather, but you know, whatever.

[Heather]

Everything is completely different. Shifting to the reality that you deserve and. And that you have wanted to actually create. So I'm really excited to share this and if you're new here, welcome to the Activation Vibration. I'm Heather and I put two words.

[Brian Green]

That rhyme together for Activation Vibration. Activation Vibration.

[Chrissy]

Please do tell us.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah, do tell us how to activate and vibrate.

[Heather]

This topic in specific is so important because everyone is just in a better vibe tribe when they're living a better life.

[Chrissy]

I do see how she has shifted from. Because correct me if I'm wrong, but when we first started watching her a few years ago, she had talking to aliens.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she was alien light language girl is I think how she get. She gained most of her notary. She shifted from a small apartment in La Brea to a very nice apartment in Hollywood Hills. And now someone cleans up the dog for her. Or at least she's gotten smart enough. Did not put the camera angle directly on the floor. That's right.

[Heather]

Like, that is why I'm here sharing this. Because I want for you listening to be living your best life, to be stoked, to be happy, to wake up and be like, wait, this is a gift to be living here on Earth. Like, what miracles can I create today?

[Chrissy]

Plus, I really wanted to show you my thong.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's right. Here's my asshole. Bing. I mean it. I only have one thing to say.

[Chrissy]

That's right, butthole.

[Brian Green]

That's why I'm now selling Queef coin. I know. Take Queefcoin. This girl's living in La La land who does this.

[Heather]

That's what you deserve. So being in an environment that actually supports that is definitely a thing. Because I know it's definitely a thing.

[Brian Green]

It's definitely a thing. It's a thing.

[Chrissy]

And that's medical term.

[Brian Green]

I made it.

[Heather]

So what it can be like to be living in a situation or in a household or an environment that is not supporting your highest evolution and expression. So if that is the Case, then we're going to go ahead and just like manifest shift, change that right here, right now, asking for God, your higher source.

[Brian Green]

If you're living in a house where the situation does not not. It does not support your activation vibration, we're gonna change that right now.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Brian Green]

I can see thousands of people literally packing up and being like, well, Bob, I'm out 13 years of miserable marriage. I'm leaving you.

[Heather]

Heather told me angels, your guides, whatever it is that you connect to, to connect to you and to align you to that timeline, to already just begin that shift. And with that going into the first way to quantum shift, quantum movement, leap. And your reality is to make the decision now. Although this may sound just casual and simple, it's actually very not. This.

[Brian Green]

It's actually very not. That's gonna be the new commercial break. Tagline. The commercial break. Very not, thank you.

[Heather]

Is something that immediately kickstarts the energetics of the shift of your reality. Because things are happening beyond you. Do you know that? Are you aware of that? That the world is going on? There are things that are being attracted to you and that you are magnetizing and also repelling in your reality right here, right now that you may not have comprehension of, but it is happening. So as you make the decision, like, I am ready to change, I am ready to shift this certain thing. Or maybe you don't even have clarity on what that is specifically.

[Brian Green]

But.

[Heather]

But just as a whole, you are ready to shift and change. When you make that decision, it starts to happen.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, that's the magic answer, Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

All we got to do is decide.

[Brian Green]

Even if you don't know what it exactly you want, you just make that decision and things start to come together. That's why I quit. Talk to you later.

[Heather]

So make that decision right here, right.

[Chrissy]

Now, if you're ready to.

[Heather]

And again, this can be as simple and casual as you want it to be be. It doesn't have to be like a huge life shift and change, but just something that kind of adjusts within you.

[Brian Green]

Look at me, I'm a wolf.

[Heather]

And adjusts you to your highest timeline and experience. And the next way is to shift your perspective. First of all, shifting the perspective of where you are at. If you at all feel like, oh, this is bad, I'm in the wrong spirit.

[Brian Green]

If you're shifting your perspective, isn't that going to shift the perspective of where you're at anyway?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay. I'm just. I'm just wondering if she's saying so many words to get to nothing in my own mind. Or are you hearing this too?

[Chrissy]

Again, with a grain of salt? I mean, okay, yes. Change your perspective. That in itself can be very helpful.

[Brian Green]

When you change the way you look at things. The things you look at start to change.

[Chrissy]

However. Where's heaven?

[Brian Green]

Heather? Heather's down in Costa Rica sunning her bum sunning arenas.

[Heather]

This is not good. This is. This. That's not the energy. Even in having the decision that you want to shift and change. It's not from a space of like, this sucks ass. Like, I don't like my life, I need to change. It's from a space of like, oh, I'm ready. This has expired. And with that, oh, I'm ready.

[Brian Green]

New milk, Matilda. And clean up the dog poop while you're at it. Can you start the range rover? It's 68 degrees outside. I don't want to get into a cold car. Matilda, Matilda, has daddy not paid you?

[Heather]

Acknowledge the purpose of it in whatever way it express and be grateful for it. Like, thank you, phase, experience, version of me, environment, whatever, for catalyzing my growth and for the clarity that I have now. Thank you. I love you. Thank it for its service and leave it. Transition it in that energy, being grateful, seeing from a different perspective of what it is and what it represents. And again, being grateful. Like, thank you. Now I'm here in this space and I get to be in this.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

I just walked over into another room.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy. I'm officially all full up. A. I can't take it. I just can't. Okay. First few videos, I was like, I don't know why Chrissy gets so upset. It's all right. And now I'm like, you know what? I think you're right.

[Chrissy]

More interesting when they're talking to aliens.

[Brian Green]

Oh, for sure, A thousand percent. But this is just an example of some of the mumbo jumbo that's out there right now. And listen, there's nuts and there's little kernels. Yeah, yeah. Like when you eat corn and you take a poop, there's little kernels in there somewhere. It's wrapped in a piece of. But you know, it's somewhere in there. And so I understand. I. I get it. I'm not naive to this kind of language. No, the alien light language, I don't understand. But I'm not naive to some of this. Some of this stuff. And I might go so far as to agree with some of the stuff that she's saying. If you change the way you look at things, things you look at start to change. That's a good one. Right, right, right. But I'm not sure about all the other words. I can't just magically get up and go to Costa Rica tomorrow because I don't like it. I don't like it here. Right? Yeah. I wish I could, but I'm not getting that smartless money.

[Chrissy]

I think that you should take a leap off your bed. Like, just see what happened. Knock yourself out. My perspective just changed.

[Brian Green]

Sometimes I'll put the mattress underneath beneath my bed, which is tall and so the kids can jump and play. It's all fun, man. It's all fun and games. So they land on the baby, which they always, inevitably do. And I'm like, you can't jump on the baby. She was there. Well, that's your. Which one of you is responsible for not jumping on her? If she is there, it's you. You're doing the jumping. What did you want her to do? Poor girl is 30 stitches in her head. Now she's got to deal with you just jumping on her. Come on. And then Blue's down there licking every orifice in her body because, you know, Blue's gross. Oh, poor Blue. I want a quantum shift. Blue is what I want to do. Exactly. I want to quantum shifter into a dog that pays attention to what I tell her to do. That's what I'd like to do. And I want to quantum shift you over to tcbpodcast.com you too can find out more about the show. Listen to all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your piggy fronting sticker. Hit the contact us button, send us.

[Chrissy]

Your address, and sign up for our Everglades tour.

[Brian Green]

There you go. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. All right, Chrissy. I guess, you know that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy]

All right, star child.

[Brian Green]

All right, star, star, whatever you are. I love you, you.

[Heather]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you, Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we will say, and we always say goodbye. Again. Sa.