The Vapid Vanishing Valet!

Summary

The Commercial Break — Episode Summary

Episode: The Vapid Vanishing Valet!

Date: June 11, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break finds Bryan and Krissy returning from their podcasting hiatus, sharing wild travel mishaps, pop culture rants, and an epic valet-parking debacle—plus an emphatic endorsement for comedian Zoltan’s standup. The episode weaves the hosts’ signature, chaotic chemistry with banter about sports, music, travel woes, and run-ins with podcast fans. The central adventure is Bryan’s surreal experience with a suspiciously incompetent valet, all told in hilarious, exasperated detail.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Post-Vacation Tech Woes and Sports Chat

• Audio Gremlins After Vacation
  • Bryan and Krissy struggle (good-naturedly) with technical issues (“I don't know why I can't hear out of my left ear. It's really weird, huh? ...I've had them for like five, four years.” — Bryan, 01:28).
• Frenzied Excitement over NBA Finals
  • Bryan recounts the Knicks’ shocking comeback against the Spurs—down 23 points at halftime (“That was the most unbelievable finish to a game I have ever seen in my entire life.” — Bryan, 02:04).
  • Laments over rowdy Knicks fans celebrating too violently: “Why are we beating people up and jumping on cars? Even in my wily youth, I don't think I would have thought to do any of that.” (Bryan, 04:50)

2. World Cup, Xenophobia, and Immigration Frustration

• FIFA Tournament Mechanics
  • Krissy seeks a basic explanation, Bryan nerds out on group play, global favorites, and the US team’s perpetual underdog status (06:01–07:22).
• Hot Take: US Visa Clampdown & the World Cup’s Economic Fallout
  • Bryan passionately criticizes current US immigration chaos, especially how visa hassles and detentions are scaring off international World Cup fans — resulting in a 67% drop in expected tourism (07:25–10:58).
  • Notable quote:
    • “It's just dumb shit. And the problem is, the problem now is, is that places like New York City…expected...a million point eight people...They now have adjusted that down 67%...because, of course, they don't want to come. They don't like the country, they don't like how it's run. They don't like the immigration policies, and they're afraid they're going to get put in a fucking gulag...” (Bryan, 08:28–09:33)

3. Music Tangent: The Return of Rush

• Rush is back with a German drummer—both Bryan and Krissy rave about her technical skill and energy (“She is not a sycophant of Neil Peart...She is, in her own right, a very technical...person who can do demanding kind of signature changes.” — Bryan, 19:30).
• Bryan’s Humiliating Band Story:
  • Recalls his “dick-themed” band, Chopper Johnson, who received a brutal critique from Rush’s former lighting director: “We spent all this time…The first words that came out of his mouth after the 43 minute album played was, it's terrible. It's terrible. This is terrible.” (Bryan, 16:22)

4. The Vapid Vanishing Valet (Main Story, 27:33–46:11)

• Setup: Parking Nightmares in Atlanta
  • Bryan, Astrid, and friends purchase hotel parking for a Zoltan show, only to face an illogical entry system with confounding alleyways and limited space.
    • “We pull into it. It is an alleyway...You can only have one car on that alleyway. It's a one way street...down this hill...” (Bryan, 26:14)
• Enter: The Disoriented Valet
  • The valet—a young woman appearing “frazzled, AKA high on something”—takes an absurdly long time to park a car and then disappears repeatedly (“She’s gone...like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” — Bryan, 29:32).
  • Multiple staff, convoluted instructions, and roundabout “solutions” (get a code from the lobby, only to have the very same manager that sent Bryan there pretend to be helpful):
    • “He goes, ‘Hi, can I help you?’ I go, ‘Can you help me?’ ...‘Who told you to get the code?’ And I go, ‘You did. You and that girl. You just. I was just down there.’ I'm like, totally freaking out. I'm like, I'm losing my fucking mind here. The fuck is going on?” (Bryan & Krissy, 35:39–35:47)
  • The saga: 26 minutes in the parking lot, repeated disappearances, more suspicious behavior, and finally—a resolution, just in time for dinner and the show.
• Memorable Moment:
  • After 10 more minutes, the valet finally takes the car; Bryan admits, “At this point, I just wanted to make sure my car was safely in somewhere, because what was she doing in your car later?” (Bryan, 37:34)
  • They debrief the night: “We couldn't stop talking about it the entire night...Did that really just happen?” (Bryan, 45:39)

5. Comedy Heaven: Zoltan Live

• Bryan’s “Perfect Hour of Hilarious”
  • Effusive praise for Zoltan’s live set at Center Stage Theatre (“the best live comic I have seen since Chris Rock...Hands down.” — Bryan, 22:17, 22:25)
  • Zoltan’s style is described as sharp, present, and highly expressive—a rare cut above current standup (“...a perfect hour of hilarious...I can't disagree...” — Bryan, 38:18)
  • Short crowd interaction, mostly new material; hosts compare him favorably to contemporaries like Tom Papa, Nate Bargatze, and Ari Shaffir.
  • Endearing Anecdote:
    • Bryan is recognized post-show by fans and a familiar face from his radio days. His first reaction: “No, you cannot [have a picture]. That’s what I said. I don’t know why I said it, but I said it.” (Bryan, 43:01)

6. London Podcast Conference, Foodie Delights, and Travel Observations

• Carbone Restaurant Review
  • Bryan swoons over Carbone in London: “They are unlike any place I have ever been in my entire life to eat food...Everyone was gorgeous...Just beautiful people all around.” (Bryan, 50:15–51:41)
• Travel Misery and Cold Planes
  • Relays the agony of freezing flights (“…they keep it down at, what, at like 55, 60 degrees. That’s cold. When you’re just sitting there…” — Bryan, 57:10) and the need for self-care: “I’m thinking about bringing gloves next time… thinking about getting a duvet for the next time I fly.” (Bryan, 55:55–57:59)
  • London sticker shock: Uber fares up to $200+ for 17 miles, even short hops (“189 pounds…That’s $212.” — Bryan, 60:51)
  • Affection for London’s charm despite travel headaches.

7. Teasers & Upcoming Content

• Bryan hints at future stories: His family’s European travels during a London heat wave and more tales from Madrid.
  • “The hottest day that London had experienced in 176 years…” (Bryan, 64:25)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I go, yeah, I'm trying to get a code you just told me to get for the parking lot. And he goes, who told you to get the code? And I go, you did. You and that girl. You just. I was just down there. I'm like, totally freaking out. I'm like, I'm losing my fucking mind here.” — Bryan, [35:39]
• “Even in my wily youth, I don't think I would have thought to do any of that. No, I just don't go, like, I'm not. I don't have that kind of crowd mentality.” — Bryan, [04:50]
• “This is not a sycophant of Neil Peart...She is, in her own right, a very technical...person who can do demanding kind of signature changes. She's known for this stuff. She's got her own fan base, she's her own drummer, but she fits right the fuck in.” — Bryan, [19:30]
• “And at the end, Zoltan says, listen, I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna sign whatever you got...He was just so, like, accommodating and nice and sweet.” — Bryan, [40:00]
• “We couldn't stop talking about it the entire night because we were like, did that really just happen? I mean, the guy really went around the. He followed me, told me to go upstairs and get the code, and then said, can I help you? Can you help me? How can I help you? How can you help me? You're the one that told me how you can help me. Do you not remember that? That happened like a minute ago.” — Bryan, [45:39]
• “You know when you have 30,000 children and so many responsibilities and none of them are making you money…you don't get a lot of, like, time with your…Just you and your wife.” — Bryan, [44:26]
• “Hotels in Europe are not built for the heat...Gustavo was lucky. His wedding was inside. Because had it not been, there would have been a lot of miserable sick people for sure.” — Bryan, [66:03–66:10]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• NBA Finals & Sports Mayhem: 01:46–05:08
• FIFA/Immigration Rant: 06:01–10:58
• Rush Reunion & Band Tale: 13:07–21:48
• Vanishing Valet Saga: 27:33–46:11
• Zoltan Show Review & Post-Show Recognition: 38:18–45:39
• London Travel, Ubers, & Conference: 50:15–63:40
• Preview for Next Episode: 64:25–66:10

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Self-deprecating, irreverent, and fast-paced.
• Wry social commentary and well-observed rants.
• Warm friendship energy; hosts poke fun at themselves, their industry, and the world.
• Candid, rambunctious storytelling, especially in travel and “vanishing valet” sequence.

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Summary

In classic TCB style, this episode lurches between pop-culture hot takes, musical geekery, and riotous real-life anecdotes. The heart of the episode is Bryan’s tale of the world’s least competent hotel valet, a Kafkaesque spiral of confusion, incompetence, and suspected inebriation—only matched by the comic high of attending a transcendent Zoltan stand-up set. Peppered with nostalgic stories, cranky travel tips, and fan encounters, this is a quintessential “hang out with old friends” episode, full of running gags and improv riffing.

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For fans of comedy with a story-driven, chaotic flair—or anyone who’s ever experienced a customer-service meltdown—this episode is a must-listen.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, we get out of the elevator. There are at least three or four turns to get to the lobby. Now, I'm smart enough to know how to get from an elevator to a hotel lobby. You just listen for the noises, right? And so I'm walking and he's right behind me, you know, And I go to the front desk and there is no one there. And the guy walks around the thing and he goes, hi, can I help you? I go, can you help me?

[Chris Hoadley]

He didn't say that.

[Brian Green]

He did. I go. I go, yeah, I'm trying to get

[Chris Hoadley]

a code you just told me to

[Brian Green]

get for the parking lot. And he goes, who told you to get the code? And I go, you did. You and that girl. You just. I was just down there. I'm like, totally freaking out. I'm like, I'm losing my fucking mind here. The fuck is going on. The next episode of the commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe, how the hell are you having audio problems? You talk.

[Chris Hoadley]

It happens every time after we come back from vacation.

[Brian Green]

No, it does.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's little tweaks.

[Brian Green]

I don't know why I can't hear out of my left ear. It's really weird, huh? Well, whatever, okay, I'll just hear out of my right ear. I probably have to get a new pair of these things. I've had them for like five, four years. Four years, yeah, they're good, but I mean, you know, how long. I guess they. They can only last as long as they last, right? Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nothing lasts forever.

[Brian Green]

Nothing lasts forever. But these things are expensive, so I wish it would last forever because we don't have any money in the budget for extra earphones. I gotta pay medical bills, right? All right. So I was talking yesterday about my excitement around the New York Knickenbockers and how they.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then they won.

[Brian Green]

And then they won. That was the most unbelievable finish to a game I have ever seen in my entire life.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's crazy. I wasn't watching it, but it was like a record breaking comeback.

[Brian Green]

I was texting with somebody that I work with this morning and I was saying that I had just about fallen asleep when the second half of the game started. They were down by 23 points, the largest lead ever in an NBA final. After two quarters and I thought, well, that was fun. Yeah, the Knicks, the Knicks lost their magic. Thanks, Trump. And then I just was like, had it on my, on my phone pillow. I was watching just eyes aflutter, ready to fall into dream. And then all of a sudden, three pointer after three pointer after three pointer after great defensive play after great defensive play, I went from. This sucks too. Oh. Ah. Wow. Maybe. Possibly. Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah, they did it. And they did it in fantastic style, I might add. What an end to a game that will be talked about for a long time. And so here we are, we go to game five. What will happen? Do they come back for the seventh game to New York? I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know either. Are they in San Antonio 3?

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Chris Hoadley]

Are they in San Antonio tonight?

[Brian Green]

Tomorrow night? I think today is a travel day. They'll give them a travel day. They give them that. They give them the travel day. So at least it was four.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wait, hold on. Was the first one played in San Antonio?

[Brian Green]

The first two were played in San Antonio.

[Chris Hoadley]

The first two. Okay. And then second two have been up in New York.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Now they're going. Got it.

[Brian Green]

Okay, there you go.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, hopefully they'll just clinch it.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I'm all about it. I really hope that these guys in 73 or something.

[Chris Hoadley]

I just think I read 73.

[Brian Green]

1973 was the last time the New York Knickenbockers. There we go. Did I get it? Okay? Did I get it? No, I didn't. Fucking motherfucker.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're still playing with me.

[Brian Green]

I'm still playing with my headphones. Sorry about that. I guess I just want to live with one. Headphone. So 1973 is the last time the Knicks were won the championship. And they, they're a long suffering team like the Chicago Cubs. So I get it. However, I don't agree with beating up the spurs fans after the game on Monday. What the fuck? Yes. They were like chasing down people in spurs jerseys and beating them up. They were tearing the city apart. There was one guy who was pleading like all these idiots fucking shaking the poles and trying to pull him down and jumping on cars. And there was one guy, one voice of reason was like, guys, this is our fucking city. This is our fucking city. What are you doing? And he got the shit kicked out of him. I mean, it's just like, I don't understand. I, I guess I'm. I guess I don't play that game. Like why? It's a game. Everyone's going to be okay. We're all going to survive. If the Knicks lose a game, why are we beating people up and jumping on cars? Even in my wily youth, I don't think I would have thought to do any of that. No, I just don't go, like, I'm not. I don't have that kind of crowd mentality.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're a lover, not a fighter.

[Brian Green]

I am. I'm a lover, not a fighter because I can't fight.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a strong muscle, boy.

[Brian Green]

Big, strong muscle, boy. Ooh, I forgot to mention one part when I got rolled over, and as we were getting close to the end of the massage, she started, like, rubbing, like, you know, doing the chest muscles and then my stomach muscles, and she goes, oh, you have big, big abs. Big abs. Strong. And I was like, who are you massaging? Are you piping in that? Are you. You have a VR headset on where you're looking at someone else altogether. Yes. So New York Knickenbockers one last night. I was really excited to see that. It kept me up way too late, but it was very happy to see that Braves are on an incredible tear. The Braves are doing very well. Excited about that. Chicago Cubs are doing very well. I'm very excited about that. Look at that. And today starts the World Cup. There's a lot of excitement in the house about this.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I bet. I was thinking about you guys.

[Brian Green]

We are very excited here. Do you have.

[Chris Hoadley]

What. I mean, what are the teams? Is it. Just give me a little tutorial on the whole FIFA thing, if you don't mind.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

FIFA, is it. I mean, I know what it is.

[Brian Green]

There are, like. There are different groups. A, B, C, D, E, and F, I think, groups. And then you go and you play a dip. Bunch of different games in your group, and those who have the best record then move on to the next round and then the next round and then.

[Chris Hoadley]

And that's. So is it just like a free for all? Everybody starts off.

[Brian Green]

Everybody. Everybody starts off with a chance. There are points that are gained for winning. For winning the game. There are points that are gained for Gore Score, goals scored. There can be ties. Yeah, there are. There can be t. No, I'm saying, like, overall, like, you have points, and those points move you on to the next round and the next round and the next round. They're all countries, so there, you know, there's professional leagues all around the world, and then they play for their respective countries. So, you know, there are. There are always favorites. There are lots of European teams. That do very well. There's some teams from Africa that do very well, teams from South America that do very well. And then there's the US team, which nobody expects to do anything, but they could. They're not bad, right? They're just not great. And so I, I think that, you know, the home field advantage here means shit because people go crazy over the World Cup. They supposed to come in from all around the world, but that didn't happen. And as was reported today, I mean,

[Chris Hoadley]

if I was from out of the country, I don't know that I'd be wanting to come.

[Brian Green]

I have. I would have zero interest in coming to this country under the current circumstances, under the current administration. I would be scared shitless.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

If I had a visa to come. Even if I had a visa to come into this country. There are some people in Germany, I think. Is it Germany or Switzerland, one of those two who had their visa? Oh, no, the UK that were all set to come over with their ETS, their electronic visas. They were all set with their ETSAs. And then this week, before they got on airplanes, this status went from approved back to pending. And so they can't get into the country. One of the referees has already been detained by ICE because he was from Somalia. Because of course, he was from Somalia, a majority Muslim country. And of course, you know, I guess we just hate all those people now. I. I just don't get it. I just don't get all of the. And it's so much drama for absolutely no reason. For no reason. Listen, immigration is a problem that needs to be fixed. But I don't think that the majority of people who are, who can pay to come over here and have tickets to a FIFA World cup game where they start at like $1,000 a ticket, are the people who are going to abscond and cause the country a bunch of trouble. You have a visa system for a reason. You can electronically find out who anybody is in their background in seconds. So do your vetting, do it properly. Approve the visas and let them come in without fucking accosting them at every turn. That's just fucking dumb shit. It's just dumb shit. And the problem is, the problem now is, is that places like New York City, where there are a lot of games that are being played, including the final, they expected to see like a 27% increase in rooms sold in flights, in. In dollars and in people. A million point eight people is what they expected extra to see this summer because of the World Cup. They now have adjusted that down 67%. 60%. 7% of the people they estimated would show up to the country to watch these games have not materialized because, of course, they don't want to come. They don't like the country, they don't like how it's run. They don't like the immigration policies, and they're afraid they're going to get put in a fucking gulag for endless amount of time until whoever decides to get their head out of their ass and let them go back home or. Or into the country. It's scary. It's stupid. It's just. It's just a dumb. It's just dumb policy making is what it is. And it is absolutely, absolutely based on racism and discrimination. That's all your dislike for someone else's religion, the way that they look, the way that they act, the way that they live. That's it. That's the only reason. There is no other reason. Okay? There's no one coming down through the southern border anymore. Congratulations, you locked it up. I'm not saying I disagree with that. I'm just saying congratulations, you locked it up. Isn't that good enough? Now go get the criminals out of here and then be done with it. Do what every other president has done, including Obama, who. Who deported like a million people in the last four years of his administration. He was called a deporter in chief because he did it. But you don't see the same kind of noise. Number one, I understand it's because of the media. They don't. You know, they don't beat up the Democratic presidents as much they do the Republican presidents. But number two, because Obama was looking for people who actually needed to get out of the fucking country because they were criminals, had overstayed their visa or otherwise, were not contributing members of society. I get that. I understand it. But just like randomly grabbing people off the street for no reason or at the airport, it's just dumb. It's a dumb policy. Anyway. Russia's back together. Did you see Russ?

[Chris Hoadley]

Back to FIFA.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, FIFA. So the World cup starts today. Very exciting.

[Chris Hoadley]

When's Venezuela playing?

[Brian Green]

I don't know that Venezuela is in the World Cup. They've only been in, like, three times, and I don't think they're in this year.

[Chris Hoadley]

So you had to kind of qualify.

[Brian Green]

Yes, you have to qualify. Venezuela, World Cup. I don't think they're in. Okay, Failed to qualify.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then when does the US the

[Brian Green]

only South American nation never to reach the men's World cup finals. So the US Plays on Friday.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Usa. Their first game is on Friday, so we'll watch that.

[Chris Hoadley]

And is that in la?

[Brian Green]

Good night. Yeah, I think it's okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

They start in la.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. And there's a couple games that are here in Atlanta, too. There's a group. There's a group D is here in Atlanta or something like that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it starts on the 15th.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Here.

[Brian Green]

But, you know, it. Again, I don't think it's going to cause a lot of drama because I don't think there's many people that came for it. And so I think it's mainly Americans or, you know, citizens or green card holders who are going to be in these. In these games and at a thousand dollars a ticket. So, I mean, FIFA is just as corrupt as. As it has ever been, as it could possibly be. Did they give President Trump, like, the World Peace Prize? The FIFA World Peace Prize? Some bullshit that. That corrupt ass president of FIFA put together so he could lick the undercarriage of that orange hairy fucking twad that dawdles around the White House. Unbelievable. But let's all. But let's all get ready for UFC 250 this weekend under the incredibly disgusting stage that they have put together that eclipses anything in the. In Washington, D.C. that you can see from 30 miles away. By the way, we. We were flying, flying home the other day, and off in the distance, guess what I see? The light show from that fucking claw. They were testing it. That light show from that fucking claw. You could see it through the window. I was 20,000ft in the sky and probably 100 miles away, and I could see the lights flying into the sky. It's unbelievable. Why. Why are we doing that?

[Chris Hoadley]

It's wild. I heard there was actually a big rat problem, too.

[Brian Green]

There's a rat problem. There's a mosquito problem, there's a gnat problem, and now there's thunderstorms that are supposed to be coming their way. So, you know what? God bless you. You get what you deserve. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Anyway, Rush is back together. I did see that band Rush.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jeff has been geeking out. Is.

[Brian Green]

Is Russia Jeff. Jeff a Rush fan?

[Chris Hoadley]

Jeff is a Rush, Like a big

[Brian Green]

Rush fan or just like a. I like Rush.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's a big Rush fan.

[Brian Green]

Like, huge.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean. Yeah. Moderately big.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay. There are two kinds of Rush fans. There are three kinds of people in this world. People who would die for Rush, people who say, Rush, you know, Rush is good, and then people who just have no interest in Rush whatsoever. It's a highly technical different kind of music that I never got into. I am one of those people that say, yeah, I like some of Rush's songs.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's me too. I'm like, yeah, I like Rush, but

[Brian Green]

I don't want to listen to a concept album from beginning to end. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not for me.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. But there's the new drummer.

[Brian Green]

She's incredible. Oh, incredible. Incredible.

[Chris Hoadley]

Badass. I mean, really. She's from Germany.

[Brian Green]

Incredibly.

[Chris Hoadley]

And just, I mean, was killing it. I sat there and watched. I guess there was like this. Jeff sent me this YouTube because he was talking about it so much. I was like, send it to me. I can't wait to see. So I guess somebody had like positioned the camera to just like kind of really be on her. I mean, so good. She's so focused and just so good.

[Brian Green]

She's incredible.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it gave me goosebumps. I was like, you go girl.

[Brian Green]

She is just like.

[Chris Hoadley]

And to replace Neil Perth. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Neil Peart, who is one of the most incredible musicians who ever lived. Not even drummers. Musicians. The way that that guy drum. Listen, I don't. And let me tell a story. When I was in Chopper Johnson. Remember Chopper Johnson?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, I do.

[Brian Green]

Chopper Johnson, one of the two dick themed bands that I was in.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

One of my two phallic related bands that I was in when I was in Chopper Johnson. I think I've told this story, but I'll tell it again. At this point. I've told all the stories. I'm just telling them again. There's a new detail somewhere. You got to squeeze out the content all the time. When I was in that band, we recorded an album. I remember when I recorded that album, I learned that the band had a manager. I didn't even know this for like the first four weeks I was in the band. And that band manager, the bassist of my band had been taken in as a street runaway in Ontario, Canada, had been taken in by an older gentleman. That older gentleman's name was Howard Ungerleiter, who For the first 25 years of Russia's existence was their tour lighting and stage director. He was like. He was. He was in the band essentially. He was like the fourth member of the band. Howard Ungerleiter came into town with the band Rush when they came to the Omni in 1996 on the whatever tour they were on. He came and he spent a couple of days with us and we spent a couple of days with Rush. Two days while they were setting up. Did the show and then on their way out of town. So we spent two days with the band. Rush and Howard listened to our brand new album, Chopper Johnson's brand new album, to which he said, it's terrible. It's terrible. And it destroyed the band. It destroyed all of us. We were so bummed out. Yeah, I think he.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a bummer for sure.

[Brian Green]

I think he said, brian, I like some of your lyrics and I appreciate the phrasing in some of the parts, but you guys gotta do better. No one's gonna buy this album. And I was like, ah, okay. This is why we need someone in studio. They can do their noises for us. Where's the trombone? It's. And now. See, it's already gone. Why would I. You know, now it's. Nope, that's not it. So we spent all this time, recorded this album. It took like. It took like 10 days of blood, sweat and tears. I could. The band. The band had me stop talking. I couldn't talk for 10 days. I could only sing. And I was in this bathroom that they had set up as a. As a vocal booth, and I was just go. Take after take after take and layering my voices and, you know, going up and harmonizing with myself and all this other stuff. And the first words that came out of his mouth after the 43 minute album played was, it's terrible. It's terrible. This is terrible. You guys are terrible. This is not good. But on the bright side, you have nobody listening to you anyway, so I guess you can't go any further down. So Howard Ungerlider took us to the Omni two days. We got to hang out with Rush two days.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's cool.

[Brian Green]

And I met all the guys, Getty and Neil and Camera for the other guys. But anyway, I found Getty to be very heady and heavy. I found the guitarist was practicing Mandarin Chinese. And so, yeah, they're all like, really smart. They're all super smart. They're all men. Some members for sure. And that's the kind of music they play is the kind of really heady music that has a lot of signature time changes and chord changes, and it's really technical music. Now, of course, they have their hits, like their melodic hits, you know, Tom Sawyer and all that other stuff. But really they are very. They're highly technical. If you like Steve Vai, Stevie Vai, if you even know who that is, then you're probably a Rush fan because it's just so technical. And some people really appreciate that kind of mathematical music. It's not for me. I was never good at math and I was never good at music, so putting those two together is not a good thing. I like, you know, I'm more of a. I don't know, like a candle box kind of guy. Now, me, however, I had many friends who were Rush fans. I had many fans who were into everything that Rush did. I had many friends who just died to listen to Rush like it was their entire life. They built a whole universe around Rush, and therefore Rush has been incredibly popular for a long time. And now they're back after 50 years of being a band. They're doing some series of shows with this new drummer, and it's all over my feed. I don't know why, but it's all over my feed. It is insane how good this woman is.

[Chris Hoadley]

She really is.

[Brian Green]

And I think someone said it in one of the comments on one of these clips that probably best, like, encapsulates what I agree with. This is not a sycophant of Neil Pert, like so many drummers are. They just want to emulate what he did. This is a woman who is a technically a superior drummer on her own. She's been known for a long time to be a superior drummer and an instructor. An instructor. But she is not a sycophant. She is not a follower of Neil Pert. She is, in her own right, a very technical. A person who can do demanding kind of signature changes. She's known for this stuff. She's got her own fan base, she's her own drummer, but she fits right the fuck in.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like, it does give you chills when you watch her nailing these fills that Neil. Only Neil Pert could ever do in anyone's mind. And you hear the crowd just go fucking crazy. They're for her. They want her to be. They want it to work out. Right. You say, of course, but it's 20, 26, and these are Rush fans, largely men who may or may not have trouble getting late. They're men. They're men. They're all guys. I mean, not all of them, but there's a lot of guys in the audience. And you say, of course, but that's not always how it goes.

[Chris Hoadley]

True. Right. But I think enough time has passed to where, you know, for them to be able to hear it again live. Yeah, that's. You want to cheer for that?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you cheer. And she's so tight with the band and they've obviously been putting the work in and.

[Chris Hoadley]

When did he die?

[Brian Green]

11 years ago.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

For a while. And people want their live Rush.

[Brian Green]

They want their live Rush. And she fits right in. And I couldn't be happier for the whole situation. I think it's great. I think it's awesome. Alison Hare, she's a huge Rush fan. One of the few females that I know that is a huge Rush fan. Apparently it was her first concert. So last night I was texting with her and she was saying that she bought tickets to go see them in New York, which is a huge deal. Like, you're flying up to New York to go see a band, right? And she's so fucking excited about this. And I told her my Chopper Johnson story, and she's like, how have I known you for all this time? You never told me that story. And I'm like, I don't know. Don't you listen to my show? Listen to my show. Listen to the commercial break. And you would have known. Allison, by the way, you can go and listen to Chrissy and I's interview with Allison. We kind of did a show swap. We were both on each other's shows. And you can go listen to that. I think it was on. On last week.

[Chris Hoadley]

If you're.

[Brian Green]

If you are so interested. Okay, let's take a break. I want to get back into the time that we took away. We had three weeks and a lot of stories.

[Chris Hoadley]

Lot.

[Brian Green]

And I'm nibbling at the edges here. Well, yesterday I told story about after I got back. Today I'm going to tell a story about before I went. I went and saw Zoltan. Our friend Zoltan. Do you remember Zoltan?

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

We got a last minute invite to go see Zoltan and I'll tell you all about how that all went down. Yeah. When we get back.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sounds good.

[Brian Green]

By the way, Zoltan is the best live comic I have seen since Chris Rock.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Hands down.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Hands down. So if Zoltan is within a hundred miles of you, you have to go. You wouldn't think so, right? I mean, who. Who had heard of Zoltan before he came on our show? We did this. And I'm going to tell you about how because Zoltan was on our show, I got recognized at the Zoltan show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yep. I'll tell you all about it when we get back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text, we'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Why do those things end sometimes? Like I, I don't know if the whole song came up anyway. Okay. All right, so before we are, right before I left, like the week, the weekend that I was going, I got some, A series of messages from Mark. I'll shout him out at Surf Dog Entertainment, who is Zoltan's manager. I meant, I commented. Zoltan and I had done a little Instagram back and forth after he came on the show a couple of months ago. You can go look for that episode. He was our last, I think, I think he was, I think he was the last person that we interviewed. But we might do some more celebrity interviews, so stay tuned. But he. So him and I did a little back and forth and then I commented on one of his clips a couple of weeks before I left. And then Mark, his manager, jumped in. I thought I was talking to Zoltan. I was talking to Mark. Right. It was like kind of weird, you know, sometimes like there's multiple people managing an account.

[Chris Hoadley]

Uh huh.

[Brian Green]

And so he says, hey, thanks Brian, blah, blah, blah, you should come to the show. And he was coming to Atlanta. So we jump in the car, we go with Joseph. Remember Jose? Jose, Remember Jose when Astrid was busting my balls?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, I do.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so Jose, Maite and Astrid and I, all that. I say, she said, she asked them and they say, yeah, but only if we can take you to dinner. Like we'll go with you, but only if we can take you to dinner. Which is an acceptable. I paid no money for mine. You pay money for yours and for me. Because I'm not gonna. I gotta eat too. And so we go out to a lovely dinner at roomies. We're gonna go to Center Stage Theater. Roomies, I am really into Mediterranean food right now. I've been to a Lebanese restaurant. I went to a Greek restaurant. I was in Spain eating all kind of Mediterranean food. I've been to. Now roomies, I went to a place, an African place in. In London. An African food place. Like a North African Mediterranean. Oh, my God, Chrissy. I'm. I'm all. I'm all about these flavors and spices.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I love it.

[Brian Green]

Except for saffron. Can't do saffron, but all right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sometimes it's too much.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they just like throw it all over the place. It gets stuck in your teeth. It has this overwhelming. It's like, what's that mushroom that I hate? The fungus that grows the

[Chris Hoadley]

type of mushroom?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's like the thousand dollar mushroom that you can put. Truffle. Truffle oil.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which is. By the way, truffle oil is not truffle. It's some made up truffle thing. Okay. And don't put it on my food. Fucking can't stand it. God damn it. So they. So we pick them up as we. As we do. I don't mind being the designated driver. Pick them up, go to roomies. We have wonderful meal there. But here is what happens. So Astra decides last minute she's gonna buy some parking for Center Stage. There's very little parking at Center Stage. And she decides she's gonna buy some parking. So she buys parking at a hotel that is close to Center Stage Theater Drive down Peachtree Street. We have a little bit of a trouble finding this place, but we pull into it. It is an alleyway in between two big buildings. And when you go down the alleyway, there's only a. You can only have one car on that alleyway. It's a one way street. So we pull down and instantaneously I recognize, like we are going down this hill, but there is a guy trying to back up, like, you know, trying to back up down this one way alley.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

So I'm like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. You know, I'm telling him, hey, listen, dude, don't be a jackhole. You can't only go one way.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Now you can't back up.

[Brian Green]

Okay? So eventually this guy recognizes that I'm behind him and he's gonna hit me. And he decides to try and make a 26 point turn to try and get out Ye. In the, in this alley.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh no.

[Brian Green]

And so here I am. Now I gotta be a real asshole now. I'm like, you know, come on, man, you can barely fit.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sweating, trying to turn.

[Brian Green]

I know, he's like,

[Chris Hoadley]

back up, go forward, back up, go forward.

[Brian Green]

Eventually this genius recognizes that he's not gonna, he's not gonna figure this out. And he pulls into a parking lot. So imagine two big buildings going down a steep slope one way, you know, just fits one car down in there. And there are two entrances, one on the left and one on the right. Both parking decks. One is for the building to the left, but we're going to the parking deck to the right. So I pull into this. So he eventually goes to the parking deck to the left. And I pull into the parking deck on the right. And there is a valet stand right there. And the doors to the hotel right there, like the, the basement of the. This hotel, this whatever it is, Holiday Inn, Marriott. I don't know what the fuck it is. Okay, so I pull in and there is a young lady who looks extraordinarily frazzled, AKA high on something, who is taking care of another customer in front of me. Taking, Taking, you know, figuring out what they're.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is this like you're at the hotel lobby?

[Brian Green]

I'm at the hotel. I'm at the, I'm in the parking deck.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, parking.

[Brian Green]

But there's a little area where there's a valet stand right next to the doors to the hotel. Yeah, the. In, in.

[Chris Hoadley]

She's the valet.

[Brian Green]

She's the valet.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, got it.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so she's now helping this person in front, me. And she takes the car, she gets like, people get out, she takes the car. Chrissy, she's gone. She's gone.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like Ferris Bueller's Day off.

[Brian Green]

This lady drives down straight. Imagine this, it's a parking deck, but we're on a floor. On that floor, right past the doors to the hotel are maybe 10 parking spaces to your right. And then you would fall out of the parking deck if you went to the left. Right. But there is nowhere else to go. Like you have to back out and then go down that alleyway again to get to the lower floors of the parking deck. It's not one of those where you

[Chris Hoadley]

can just turn around.

[Brian Green]

There's just 10 spaces right there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, Right.

[Brian Green]

The lady goes to the end of that little, the end of this little road, whatever you call it. In the parking deck, turns the car to the right, and for the next 15 minutes, there is no sign of this woman whatsoever. And I'm like, what is going on here? So it's me and Jose and Astrid and Maite, and we're all like. They get out of the car, and I say, listen, guys, I want you to go ahead. Yeah, our dinner reservations, and I'll take care of this. And they're like, nah, whatever, you know, we'll stay here. So we're sitting on this bench in front of the hotel doors, and eventually I start walking down that. This row of parking spaces to see if I can find if this woman is okay. 15 minutes is a long time to be parking one car. And I see at the end of that lane that she has pulled into a parking space that's blocked by a wall. So I couldn't see it where I was standing. But the car is on, the brake lights are on, and the woman, I can see her head in the car, and I'm like, wait, hold on. She took that car 10 parking spaces down, parked it, and now she's been sitting in that car for over 15 minutes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

What could be wrong or could be going right? I think eventually she saw me peeking at her back of her head. And she got out of the car, and she starts walking. She's like, I got you. I got you. And she goes, do you. Are you. Did you park? And I go, no, no, my car is right there. And she goes, are you here for valet? And I go, oh, yeah, I'm here for. Yes, I'm here for valet. And she goes, okay, I'm the valet. And I go, I know it says

[Chris Hoadley]

it on your name tag.

[Brian Green]

It's right there, right? You were standing at the valet stand when I drove in. Did you not notice me, right, that there's a car standing right there? And she goes, which one is your car? There's only one car there. I go, it's that one with. That's still on. And the door wide open. It's that one. And she goes, okay, just give me a few minutes. And I was like, okay, no problem. She goes into the doors to the hotel and goes, there's two sets of elevators, one on the right, one on the left, and then there's bathrooms to, like, to the right in the hallway to the right. She goes into the bathrooms. She's gone for another five to seven minutes. No. What is going on here? Now all of us are completely confused. We're like, I don't know what's Going on. A gentleman comes. The elevator dings. A gentleman comes out of the elevator. Big guy, big white guy. You know, big like, you know, but kind of like little o fee, kind of, you know. He comes out, he opens the door, and he goes, are you waiting for somebody? Are you waiting for a car? And I go, no, that's my car. And I'm waiting to get it valeted. And he goes, okay, great, she'll be right here. And I go, no, no, she's here. She just went to the bathroom. And he goes, oh, okay. She probably had to go to the bathroom. And I go, huh?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

What universe did I get dropped into here? Is this dumb as dick day? Is this the dumbest shit you've ever heard? Okay, five to seven minutes later, lady comes out, magically appears. She is high on something. Jose is a doctor. And he even recognized. He's like, something's going on with that. Like, that is not normal behavior. The eyes are biggest saucers, like, you know, scattered all over the place. And I'm like, I just want her to park the car safely. That's all I want her to do. Okay. Astrid has purchased this parking previous. And so she. She comes. She stands at the desk, and she goes, okay, that's your car. And I go, yes, that's my car. And she goes, okay, it's going to be 26. And I go, no, no, no, we prepaid for parking. And she goes, you prepaid for parking? How? And I go, well, on this app. And so I show up, show her the app, and she's reading it, and she goes, okay, yeah, this is our hotel. And I go, yeah, I know, okay. And she goes, all you need to do is go upstairs and get a code. And I go, okay. The guy that came downstairs is standing next to her.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

And he's still there. He goes. He goes. And I go, I have to go upstairs to the. Where? And she goes, you go upstairs to the front desk, you get a code, you bring it back down to me. And then I. And then your parking is paid. Paid for. And I'm like, okay, great, fantastic. And the guy goes, well, who's the guy? The guy goes, you could go upstairs and get the code. And I was like, okay. So now I go to walk in the door. Now Astrid and all these people are, you know, Astrid and Jose and Maite are sitting there, and they're all like. They're laughing at this. They think this is funny, right? I'm not so laughy. I'm kind of fine. Getting irritated by this Situation. We've now been in this parking lot for 26 minutes. Zoltan's halfway through his set, and we haven't had dinner yet. So I'm like, okay. So I open the door to go upstairs. And as I open the door, the guy walks in the door, the guy that was there, the manager, what I can only assume is a manager of the hotel, walks in the door and he goes. And I follow him. And he presses the button to go up to the elevator. And he. And he looks at me while we're waiting, he goes, how you doing? And I go, good. And he goes. And I go, is it the first floor that I gotta go to? And he's like, yeah, same floor I'm go to. And I go, oh, okay. And so presses. Get in there. He presses the button, whatever floor it is, you know, one up. We go up. We get out of the elevator. There are at least three or four turns to get to the lobby. Now, I'm smart enough to know how to get from an elevator to a hotel lobby. Just listen for the noises, right? And so I'm walking and he's right behind me, you know? And I go to the front desk, and there is no one there. And the guy walks around the thing and he goes, hi, can I help you? I go, can you help me?

[Chris Hoadley]

He didn't say that.

[Brian Green]

He did. I go. I go, yeah, I'm trying to get

[Chris Hoadley]

a code you just told me to

[Brian Green]

get for the parking lot. And he goes, who told you to get the code? And I go, you did. You and that girl, you just. I was just down there. I'm like, totally freaking out. I'm like, I'm losing my fucking mind here. The fuck is going on? And he goes, okay, hold on one second. And he. And then he goes, can I see your. Can I see the. Where you. The thing? And I show him. He picks up the phone and he goes, yeah, guys, here for a code. Do you know the code to the parking lot? And then he hangs up the phone after a few seconds and goes, I'm not sure what the code is. And I look, and on the receipt, there's a code. There's a code, okay? And I go, I got it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I got the card.

[Brian Green]

I go downstairs. I go downstairs and I shit you negatively. The woman is gone again. She's gone.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is your car still there?

[Brian Green]

My car's still there, but she's gone. And there's another family that's standing there. And I'm like, what is going on here? And Jose or Maite or whoever, they go, oh, she went to get their car. And I'm like, okay. I look down the aisle and there's one of those cars has the headlights on, but the woman's not going anywhere. She's not taking the car out. She's sitting in the fucking car. The fuck is happening? So I say to everybody, go, go. Yeah, please, go make sure. Make sure we can at least get something to eat after all this drama.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So they go ahead, chrissy. It's another 10 minutes before this woman took my car. And at this point, I just wanted to make sure my car was safely in somewhere, because what was she doing

[Chris Hoadley]

in your car later?

[Brian Green]

She took my car and she got out of it. So, you know, and I didn't. I keep my cars pretty clean. Like, I don't have anything in there anybody would be interested in. Yeah. I learned my lesson when I lived downtown Atlanta not to put anything in your car. So I was like, you know, okay, whatever. We go to roomies, we have a wonderful dinner. Lovely. And then we walk over and we go see the Zoltan Show. Zoltan had a couple of openers. I fail to remember their names. They were both adequate funny. Got good starters for Zoltan. Good primers of the pump. Zoltan came out and did what Jose referred to as a perfect hour of hilarious. That's how he described it. A perfect hour of hilarious. And I will tell you what, I can't disagree. The way that Zoltan uses his body.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

First of all, his comedy is very present. Meaning he talked about the Michael Jackson movie. He talked about some stuff that was just happening in the world that you knew that he had to. Made up this material in the last week or two. It wasn't particularly. It was. It wasn't stale. It was very present. He told stories about him and his wife. It's very situational type of comedy. And the way that he uses his body, his facial expressions and the. His timing and his comic timing is as good as I have ever seen on stage with a comedian. And now I've seen quite a few of them. And this was just like. Like, Zoltan was so fucking good. I thought to myself, that did a lot of.

[Chris Hoadley]

Does a lot of crowd work too, or is that another guy?

[Brian Green]

No, his. His Instagram is filled with a lot of crowd work.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But so is everybody else's, because that's what's trending right now. Right. But Zoltan actually does very little, if any, crowd work. He does. He had some Conversation in the crowd at, you know, at the beginning, at parts. But it wasn't a lot of crowd work. It was mainly him on stage. Center stage, 1500 people, small place. We had great seats, center, you know, behind the soundboard. I like it too. And it was very nice of him and Mark to give us these. These tickets. And at the end, Zoltan says, listen, I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna sign whatever you got. You know, they're telling me that the fire marshal is telling me that he can't have a crowd here after 10:30. We only got a half an hour, so if you want to leave, please do right. Like, I'm not telling you to stay. I'm not telling you to leave. I'm just saying if you're. And waiting in line for something, a signature, I'll get you next time. I'd be happy to take a picture, but let's keep it fresh. He was just so, like, accommodating and nice and sweet. And when he left, you know, he was like, can I. I want to take a picture of everybody. And he took a couple pictures. You can see me in the pictures. And then he turned around and he looked at my way, and he went. I went like this.

[Chris Hoadley]

And he.

[Brian Green]

He did it back to me. I. I just love. He's going to be back on the show. I just love Zoltan. I love his comedy. I think it was so good. And I'm. I know. I say, I know I can be exclamatory a lot about the comedians that I love, the music that I love, the movies that I like. I'm telling you right now, I say this without a bit of irony or no explanation. Explanation. Ex. Exclamation point at the end. Zoltan is good at what he does. Go see him before he's doing rooms like State Farm arena, because he will be doing them. Because I saw. What's his name at State Farm Arena. Oh, yeah, Bargazi, who's a completely clean comic. Zoltan is not. But Bargazi uses his facial expressions and his comic timing in a very similar manner. He's even less expressive than Zoltan is. But he does that. And the way that. But Bargozzi did this, like, in the round type of comedy where the cameras were kind of stalking him and you could see it on the screen even if you were far away. Is the type of show that I could imagine Zoltan doing and being really, like, filling a room like that and being really good, exciting. I told this manager I had a conversation on the phone a couple of days ago, and I said. He said, listen, we're working on it. Zoltan is also the same guy who had just put out a special when he came to our. When he came to our show because he couldn't get Netflix, Amazon, or Apple to bite off on his special. And I have a super hard time believing that's going to be the case for very long. He is so good at what he's doing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Was his special on YouTube?

[Brian Green]

His special was on YouTube.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Brian Green]

He's so good at what he's doing. Go check out Zoltan. You got to. You got to. I'm telling you right now. Great, great hour. The best hour I've spent at a comedy show in a long time, hands down. Tom Papa was great. Bargazi was great. Who did we go see together?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, Ari.

[Brian Green]

Ari was great. Shafir. Yeah, Ari. Shafir was fantastic. Zoltan was a cut above. He just was. Okay, so show's over. Everyone's going. And I am. We're, like, all crowding to, like, make the door. You know, we're all getting out of our seats to make the door, and all of a sudden I hear someone go, hey, is that Brian Green? Can I get a picture with you? And I. No. Is that Brian Greene from the commercial break? Can I get a picture with you? And I turned around and my first reaction was, no, you cannot. That's what I said. I don't know why I said it, but I said it. And when I turned around.

[Chris Hoadley]

Photos, please.

[Brian Green]

I recognized the face. It was Earn.

[Chris Hoadley]

Earn. Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Urine. Urine from our Clear Channel days.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, of course I remember.

[Brian Green]

Urn, yes. So I gave him a hug, and I say, hey, Dee duty. Howdy Doody. How you doing? And he says, hey, you guys had Zoltan on your show, didn't you? And I said, yeah, this is all happening while this whole crowd is around us, Right?

[Chris Hoadley]

So.

[Brian Green]

So me and Earn have a moment, and then, you know, he leaves. And then all of the sudden, there was, like, a couple people that were, like, dragging around us. Like, I noticed they were just kind of standing there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And after he takes off, these two girls. One of these girls goes, you are Brian Greene from the commercial break. And I go, I am. And she was like, I love your show. I've been listening to for a long time.

[Unknown Female Fan]

No way.

[Brian Green]

No. I swear to God. And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's so nice to see you. You know, congrat. Congratulations. I Think she was.

[Chris Hoadley]

Congratulations.

[Brian Green]

Congratulations on listening to my show for so long. It's like when you get out of the cab and they say, have a good flight. And you're like, you too.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

My first reaction is, no, you cannot. And I think she was angling for a photograph, but I was with everybody, and I just like, you know, I was kind of like, okay, thank you. See you later.

[Chris Hoadley]

Meanwhile, you got to impress your friends.

[Brian Green]

He listened. My friend, I don't even think he was paying attention. I think he was standing in line to see Zoltan. He wanted to see Zoltan. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nice. I love you. Had that good night.

[Brian Green]

We had a great night. It was a fantastic night. It was just a. You know when you have 30, 000 children and so many responsibilities and none of them are making you money, you know, you don't get a lot of, like, time with your. Your. Just you and your wife. And now this is the second time that we've been out with these two on a night like this with comedy. And it was really great. We went and saw cell volcano that one time too, remember?

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And, you know, I get to impress my friends a little bit. Tell them, hey, listen, 15th row tickets to Zoltan at center stage. Who wouldn't take that?

[Chris Hoadley]

I know, right?

[Brian Green]

Sol Volcano. Yeah. Fifth row at Sal Volcano. And then afterwards, when it was time for meet and greet, we got shuffled in like a pen, and we were group number three. We got put in an order of priority. But Sal. Sal was. Sal couldn't have been nicer with his time. I mean, he gave me a hug and he's a germ.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Remember that? All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

That was the night. It was raining really hard.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. It was. It was. It was crazy. Yeah. So. So we had just a wonderful time with Zoltan. I highly recommend you go see him. I just thought I'd shout Zoltan out and then, you know, don't go park at the Holiday inn on Peachtree street

[Chris Hoadley]

because bark at your own risk.

[Brian Green]

That was the craziest. Chrissy. All of us, we couldn't stop talking about it the entire night because we were like, did that really just happen? I mean, the guy really went around the. He really went around. He followed me, told me to go upstairs and get the code, and then said, can I help you? Can you help me? How can I help you? How can you help me? You're the one that told me how you can help me. Do you not remember that? That happened like a minute ago. What drug Are both of you taking correct that I would like to take before the Zoltan show?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, you better take.

[Brian Green]

And I have some of that. Yeah, but I gotta be able to eat my food. So give it to me and I'll take it later. All right, let us do this. Let us take a short break. We'll start to dig our way into all the time we took off in my time in London and my time in Spain.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

All right, we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 2124333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Unknown Female Fan]

I saw you in there in the VIP bottle service in Hennessy? My heart went crazy? It skipped a beat? I thought that you could be with me? I walk over to you, we lock eyes? You're my wife and I realize you're with my friend and it's no surprise? Watching you two makes my flag rise? I have a cut cut crush on you? I have a cut cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut cut crush on you? So baby, grab your phone, start to swipe? We need to spend some time getting it right? I don't want you to be alone tonight? I want you to cheat without a fight? When you're in the bed with my favorite guy? I hide myself and try not cry? I love you, lady, but I won't lie? My therapist even wonders why? I have a cut cut crush on you? I have a cut cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut cut crush on you? Grab a man and let's paint the town? I'll stay in the corner, grab a man, I promise, promise not to make a sound? While you and neighbor ground and pound? It's so lovely to be your man? I can't do what the other guys can? But when you're happy I feel grand? He can be your lion, I'll be your lamb? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I have a cut cut crush on you? I hide in the closet and let you do what you do? I have a cut. Cut crush on your head.

[Brian Green]

Do you know the guy who's turning all the grunge songs into Motown songs? Have you seen the. The black guy on Instagram?

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

He's become so popular. He's a black guy with a beard and a hat, and he loves grunge and he loves Motown. So he takes AI and he turns all your favorite grunge songs into Motown classics or, like gospel songs or what a R B. He. It's so good. It's so good. He's got now million followers. I think he's crazy. So. So the other day, I was waiting for the other day. What's that? Yeah, no, that's. So the other day, I was waiting in line at TSA and he was a couple of steps in front of me. I suspected he lived in Atlanta or close to Atlanta, just based on some things I saw and heard, but now I think it's true. I think he lives in Atlanta. So anyway, I didn't say anything to him, but I was kind of excited that he was standing in front of me because I'm a big fan. I'm a huge fan. Okay. So, you know, originally I went over to Europe because I. I went to London. I was going to the podcast conference over there, which ended up being, you know, my. The conferences are conferences. You know, you walk around the floor for a couple of times, you say hi to people. You know, you have a meeting or two. It's really after the conference when all the action happens. And that was fruitful in. In and of itself. I got to go to Carbone. Have you ever been to a Carbone?

[Chris Hoadley]

No, I have not.

[Brian Green]

Restaurant. They have them in Houston, Vegas, I think LA and New York, and now in London. They're steakhouses, and they are unlike any place I have ever been in my entire life to eat food. This place was so incredibly spectacular visually. And then at least at the one in London, it appeared as if they used a modeling agency to employ the entire staff. I'm sure everyone was gorgeous. Man, woman, child. Everyone was gorgeous. The women who greeted us at the. At the front, they. There was like this tall, stunning black woman with this huge Afro. It was one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen in my entire life. There was like. The men were gorgeous. They were like, you know, it. Just beautiful people all around. And the whole restaurant was filled with beautiful people and high rollers. And it was. There was a vibe in there I've never experienced in a restaurant. It was, quite frankly, incredible. And it was on top of the. The restaurant was in the basement of, like, the most expensive hotel in the world. The. I forget what it's called. I can look it up, but it's on Grosvenor Square, which is, like, the. Where the politicians live and the famous people live and all this other stuff. I went to this restaurant, Carbone. I was so fucking impressed with this restaurant. Usually when you go to a place that's like, has a bunch of different locations, you can kind of hit or miss, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, Carbone was on point.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was a hit.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was a hit. They even took my jacket. I don't know what me and the people that were with me were doing in there, because we were the odd guys, but, you know, we managed to see our way through. It was a hell of a bill, though. I'll tell you that much. Hell of a bill.

[Chris Hoadley]

I bet.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I was with somebody, and he kept ordering for the table, and I was like, okay, let him order for the table. But my intention was to pay because it was kind of like, my treat. I would have been the one to pay. He kept ordering for the table, and I was like, go for it. And then I paid the bill, and he was like, oh, my God, dude. I thought I was going to get this. And I was like, no, no, no. I invited you. I intended to get this. And he's like, I wouldn't have just gone ordering everything if I thought you were going to get this.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like I did that time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like, more crab legs. Give me those snow crabs, Chrissy. They're $30 a piece.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Green]

I'll take 70. Rachel and I were like, so. So I go to London. I have a very nice, relatively uneventful flight over there. What I did was because, you know, I'm going on the company dime. I can't get a first class. I didn't even get a comfort because plane flights are so expensive right now.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're so expensive right now.

[Brian Green]

I thought I could get a. Usually we had this rule at this last company that I worked for. If you're flying more than four hours, you are allowed to have an upgraded seat. Right? Even a first class seat. Like, you're allowed to do that. That's the rules. If you're flying more than four hours, fly in comfort. Don't make yourself all discombobulated. Otherwise you have to go for, you know, the best coach seat you can get in. In some cases, you get away with getting a comfort seat. If they were like, not that expensive? Yeah, it's, you know, use your brain essentially was the rule. Use your brain. But in this case, like the actual first class seats were $4,700, the comfort seats were $3,200 and I just could not justify the $3,200.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, you know, so much.

[Brian Green]

At the end of the day, it's my company too. Like I can't like you know, just go blowing money willy nilly. I can survive for seven hours on a comfort on a regular seat. But what I did manage to do is get an exit right row.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, so that's key.

[Brian Green]

Yes. So I had plenty of space in front of me. Right. And I got the window seat so at least I can lay down. And there was somebody sitting next to me. But luckily it was not a particularly egregious human being. You know, it was, I think it was like a, an older lady and you know, we exchanged niceties and then I fell asleep. That's what I did, I fell asleep. But because I have trouble sleeping on an airplane in the first place, and because now the route, general rule of aviation is keep it as cold as possible in the goddamn airplanes there. So I looked this up while I was flying. First of all, a couple things about flying that make it easier now. You can now get Internet almost the entire way to and from Europe. So that's good. They found a way magically through, I'm sure through Elon Musk, Starlink. Starlink to give you Internet the entire way. Mostly I, there was a couple of points of disconnection, but mostly I had Internet the entire way. Second of all, you know, they generally keep the lights off and it keep, keeps everybody quiet and calm on those flights over. So here's how it works on the east coast of America at least if you're here and you've flown across the ocean, then you know the way over there. It's usually night flights. So you're flying at like 8, 9, 10 o' clock at night. That's when your plane leaves, even up to midnight. And then you get there in the after morning or after over with the time to Europe with the time change. All planes fly that direction and then all planes fly the other direction back the other way. This is for air traffic control. This is so that they can keep the planes flying generally in one direction and everybody's ready for the planes coming in morning, afternoon in Europe and then everyone gets ready for the morning, afternoon planes coming in to America. It's just a logistics thing they have. It's brilliant how they set it up.

[Chris Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Green]

But the planes. But the planes are so fucking cold.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, they are.

[Brian Green]

That it is goddamn miserable.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I've been. Lately I've been taking like a full coat to, like, just wear on there.

[Brian Green]

I remember when I was flying back and forth to Sea Astrid that one time I wore long johns on one of those flights. Long johns. I bring extra wool socks that I can put on. I'm thinking about bringing gloves next time because it's so miserable and uncomfortable that you have to get up and walk around. You have to get up and move your body or else you're just going to freeze to death in those fucking seats. Now, why do they do this? I read about it. I know why they do this now, because I've read about it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Do tell.

[Brian Green]

They have found that people are less likely to have a health incident like a stroke or a heart attack when blood pressure is slowed down, when your blood pressure is lower, when your blood is moving slower through your heart and through your system. How do you do that? You make people cold. Colder bodies produce less pressure on the blood vessels in the blood system, so you reduce the incidence of major health.

[Chris Hoadley]

So it's a health reason.

[Brian Green]

It's a health reason, number one. Number two, it's a safety reason. Why? Because colder people are slower people. They think slower, they act slower, they do things slower. They're less irritated because they're not. They're not hot and uncomfortable. And, you know, their bodies aren't revved.

[Chris Hoadley]

I could see that.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so that's number two.

[Chris Hoadley]

Rev them down.

[Brian Green]

You rev them down. Number three, I'm sitting in the exit row where there is a draft coming in from a fucking door and we are 40,000ft in the air where it's negative 160 degrees Celsius. So no matter how much you try, you're not going to get that plane warm like you. They. They have a temperature gauge, but they keep it down at What? At like 55, 60 degrees. That's cold. When you're just sitting there, man, it's cold. And then they give you that little, like. I don't even know what that is. A piece of parchment paper for a blanket. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

There's a little thing. Yes. Give me 10 of those. I'll take a comforter. I'm thinking about getting a duvet for the next time I fly. And you think I'm joking. I'm not. I would rather put a duvet in my carry on and be able to sleep or at least be comfortable on the airplane. I mean, I was sitting on my hands, I was putting them under my armpit.

[Chris Hoadley]

You get one of those things that, you know, they wrap up for like a picnic blanket.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know, it's like a little leather strap.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Roll it up.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna bring a plug in heater next time. Do you think those things are allowed? Do you think I can bring.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know, you could do is get those hand warmers that crunch. You crunch them. Like for camping.

[Brian Green]

I have those. I have those. I don't know if those are allowed on an airplane, but I could try.

[Chris Hoadley]

Why not?

[Brian Green]

Time I've seen people have said that you put hand warmers in your bag on the way to. Because it's a chemical that can, you know, cause problems. But, you know, listen, okay, so I was so uncomfortable on that goddamn plane that by the time I landed, I only slept like maybe an hour and a half the entire time. And I usually don't eat the food on the airplanes. And here's why. I don't want my belly to be uncomfortable. Number. Number one, number two, God love them. Usually on the way over there and on the way back, they are serving some kind of curry. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

I just don't love, like, I like curry, but I don't love it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, curry is kind of a strange thing to have.

[Brian Green]

Well, the UK loves their curry. They love their curry in the uk. They really do. There's a lot of Indian influence.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I like curry.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But I don't want it on an airplane. Yeah, I don't want it in an airplane. And it never fails that when they're serving the meal, I'm asleep and then. You know what I'm saying? Never fail. The 15 minutes I fall asleep is the 15 minutes they come by with the food tray and I'm not there. If you're in first class, they will save it for you, Right? When you wake up, they will be like, Mr. Green, you missed dinner. Would you like some? And then you go, yeah, and they go and they warm it up for you. But if you're in the coach, fuck you. You got to go back and eat some biscoff cookies and some stale potato chips.

[Chris Hoadley]

Cheez its.

[Brian Green]

Cheez its. Fuck you. Cheez its. I just was so. I was not in a great mood when I. And not in a great mood. I just didn't feel great. And that fucking cold air blowing on my. On my face, it gave me an actual earache. So I get to London, I have an earache. I go, I. Luckily the hotel room is ready when I check in. I'm staying at an okay hotel, like a double tree or something, you know, not bad, not nice. But the rooms are big, which is good for Europe. It's like a big room. And I'll tell you what, nothing made me happier than to turn on my British television.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I forgot.

[Brian Green]

After that long flight and lay down,

[Chris Hoadley]

you're in the home country.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I usually say to myself when I fly to Europe, power through, Brian, power through. Go to sleep at like 11pm and then you'll be just tired enough to get eight hours of sleep. You'll pop up, you'll be right on schedule. And usually that works without a problem. However, this time I couldn't do it. I just could not make it all the way through the afternoon. I had to go to sleep. So I. I go to the hotel. It's like, I don't know, it's like 11:30, 12:12. And I lay down and I woke up at like 6:30.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, great.

[Brian Green]

I woke up at like 6:30. So I had a hell of a time adjusting to the time over there. But, man, I just love London. I love walking through London. I love talking to people in London.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

I really want to go, oh, Chrissy, it's just a lovely, lovely city.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I took a couple of walks around, you know, this and that. They're just seeing things. And you know, going down this street, I was thinking staying in, in a place called Islington, which is north and east of London. That's where the conference was. But then everything that I had to do after the conference was over, all the important stuff, the places you really want to be, the networking events, the dinners, all that other stuff was southwest in London, across town. And I have never paid so much to Uber in my entire life. Like the first night we had some people with us. So I said, let me get an Uber xl, right? Let me impress the people that we're with. Just like comfort for the sake of comfort. 189 pounds to go. 17 miles. 189 pounds, that's $212. That's a gas. You know, that's what it said on. It's what it said. First of all, you're paying congestion pricing no matter what time of day or night in London. There's so much traffic in London. Number two, it said on the Uber app, prices may be higher because of global oil prices. Be aware, right? So there must have been like four different rides where I was paying over 200American dollars to get. To get from the Heathrow to my hotel. That was a two hour ride. Two hours. I spent two hours.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

The traffic in London is terrible. Especially where I was going. It just was. Was terrible. And it was like whatever. 300 fucking euros or whatever it was. It was crazy, Chrissy. Crazy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Have you ever done the black cabs?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I did those a couple of times too. Like when I. But if I was going somewhere with someone, I got us an Uber. Right. It's just easier. And. And there are. Sometimes the black cabs are readily available, sometimes they're not. Like, depends on what part is.

[Chris Hoadley]

They have to know, like, every inch of the streets there when you go

[Brian Green]

in a black cab. Well, we. At one point, I got an Uber executive for me and our. Our friend, our agent Matt, to go from one point in the city to the other point. It was the one that was closest. It was just as expensive as an Uber xl. And so I was like, okay, let me get this. I don't even know what this is. A fucking brand new BMW pulled up.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

With like the layback seats and like the bar in the middle. It was like. It was unbelievable. It was $150,000 car. We're driving it and Matt looks at me and he goes, who's paying for this? And I go, well, I am. My boss is, yeah, I probably am going to pay for it once my boss finds out. But I didn't know. I'd never taken an Uber executive. I just thought it was like, you know, cool black car going to show up and pick you up. It was like. It was like a really cool car that showed up and pick you up. But I was so far away from everything that the third day I went from one double tree to another double tree on the other end of town, because I was.

[Chris Hoadley]

You went ahead and switched hotels.

[Brian Green]

I felt I was starting to feel a little bad about the amount of money I was spending on taxi cabs and Ubers. I mean, getting back and forth was costing me 200American Doll every time. That's a lot of fucking money. And New York can be the same way too, but it's an even. New York pales in comparison to how much money it was to drive from one end of the city to the other in London. How much time it took. What do you think? You want to do another one?

[Chris Hoadley]

Another episode?

[Brian Green]

Another episode? Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

All right.

[Brian Green]

We're gonna do another episode, so stick with us. I'm gonna close this one out and then I'll do it again. So just pay attention to the YouTube. If you're on there and you want to listen to the next episode. We do. And we'll get into when the kids showed up. Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

I got to hear the. The meat and potatoes and things here.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And the hottest day that London had experienced in 176 years.

[Chris Hoadley]

So did Astro traveled with all three kids by herself. Oh, God, she's a trooper.

[Brian Green]

She is. I told her, I said, quite a woman. I said to her, I will fly back and we can all go to get together. And she goes, who's gonna pay for that?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I said, well, I'd have to. And she's like, yeah, nope. Even if we wanted to, that's not an option right now. Yeah, yeah. There was. There was a heat wave. The heat bubble, or whatever they call it, the heat dome just came right over London while I was there. Chilly and raining. When I showed up the next day, it was like 88 degrees. It's insane. Wow. Never seen anything like it. London's not supposed to be like that. And then when we. We flew back to London to. To get back to the United States, that's how we went. Yeah, it was cold and raining again. So more. More like the London weather you would expect.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

All right, so Chrissy and I are gonna hop on another episode. We'll be back next week. If you can't join us for the second episode, we'll be back next week. Yeah, somebody's in there saying that, I'm sorry, I can't read your name from this far, but saying that the house isn't in use. Europe are not built for the heat. Did you know that more people die from heat related heat related death, incident, accident, sickness in Europe?

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Then what was the statistic then? What? Something about like, you know, drunk driving in America or something like it's. It's really a problem over there. They've got big heat waves that come their way and they don't have air conditioning, conditioning. It's not built for it. It's just.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you about Madrid. Madrid was also experiencing the same thing. And I'm telling you what, dude, Gustavo was lucky. His wedding was inside.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because had it not been, there would have been a lot of miserable sick people for sure. Okay, so if you can't make it to the second episode today, we'll be back next week. Chrissy and I will be here Tuesday, Wednesday, and likely Thursday right around 1:00pm YouTube.com the commercial break is where you can find us you can go to at the commercial break on Instagram. We'd love it if you would give us a follow share, spread the word, tell a friend, leave a review. We love you very much. Yeah. We'll be back in 15 minutes. YouTube.com the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you, best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Chris Hoadley]

Bye.

[Brian Green]

I.

[Rachel]

Gotta get some cocaine.

[Brian Green]

That'll be crazy.