The Wrinkle Tinkle

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode: "The Wrinkle Tinkle"

Date: April 19, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Producer: Astrid

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Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break blends the show’s signature brand of wild, irreverent humor with a deep dive into odd sexual rituals, internet oddities, awkward first experiences, and the strangely fascinating world of reality dating TV. Bryan and Krissy riff on “soaking” as a workaround for religious abstinence, speculate about OnlyFans kink requests, and deliver a hilarious, play-by-play reaction to a TLC reality show, "Date at First Kiss." The improvised banter is full of offbeat chemistry, personal anecdotes, and crowd-participation antics, making for another unfiltered, laugh-out-loud episode.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bryan’s “Ass Flakes” and Too Much Honesty

• [00:00–00:37] The episode starts with Krissy getting real about her “inverse psoriasis” and how it affects certain intimate acts. Hilarity ensues as they riff on the idea of exfoliating for sexual encounters.
  • Quote (Krissy, 00:03): "My butt crack is actually... it's like flaky, like dandruff on the head, but in my asshole crack."

2. Soaking: “The Mormon Loophole”

• [02:25–13:02] Bryan introduces “soaking”—a purported Mormon workaround for premarital sex (penetration without thrusting)—and Krissy reacts with a mix of horror, fascination, and comic disbelief.
  • Bryan explains the ritual and its logic, describing it as “soaking it, don’t poke it.”
  • Tangents include Catholic and Mormon loopholes, and hypothesizing increasingly absurd versions, e.g., multiple friends holding limbs during “bathroom soaking.”
  • Quote (Bryan, 03:09): "Soaking. Because Mormons, a lot of other religions, don't believe in premarital sex, they have decided that there is a way around that: only the friction equals sex. If you just stick it in and leave it there, you're not having intercourse."
  • Quote (Bryan, 08:37): "I need a soak host. A soak cohost, dude."

3. Celebrity Friends & Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone

• [05:44–08:12] Bryan shares stories about “Raphael,” his relentless friend who drags him into weird experiences—ayahuasca, tantra, sunning bum holes, fasting, and more.
  • Discussion expands into having friends that push you into new adventures, and the trickle-down of cajoling among friend circles.

4. OnlyFans, Foot Fetish, and the Money in Kinks

• [14:45–19:56] Krissy and Bryan discuss the explosion of OnlyFans, foot-fetish fame, and the wild requests that creators receive.
  • They comically attempt to estimate how much money could be made from their own “wrinkle tinkle” or foot content.
  • Bryan paints an exaggerated picture of bizarre foot-fetish emails and how an AI responder could be handy.
  • Quote (Bryan, 19:16): "I just read one of these emails: 'I imagine your toes have nipples and I want to stick it on my tongue and roll it around...'"

5. Podcasting Fame and Awkward Social Situations

• [22:24–23:48] The duo riffs on the weirdness of having friends introduce Bryan as “the guy with the podcast.” They mock the expectation to “be funny on demand” and the pressure of constantly being “on.”

6. Reality TV Reaction: TLC’s “Date at First Kiss”

• [27:56–51:56] The heart of the episode is a hilarious live commentary on TLC’s dating show, “Date at First Kiss.” Josh, a 27-year-old kiss virgin, has his first kiss with Annalisa—an experienced, confident woman—in a surreal TV setting.
  • The hosts gleefully narrate the painfully awkward encounter, analyze every move, and offer (terrible) advice on kissing.
  • Bryan and Krissy break down both participants’ body language, escalating nerves, and the show’s cruel awkwardness.
  • Josh gets ghosted in the end, leading to a larger discussion on dating app culture and the cruelty of ghosting.
  • Quote (Bryan, 35:49): "[Josh's] lips are locked. His eyes aren't moving. They're wide open... She's obviously an experienced kisser. She knows what's going on."
  • Quote (Bryan, 49:19): “All those nice things you had to say about liking sweet guys and wanting to get to know him... the truth was, you were never gonna go out with him in the first place. Oh, poor bastard.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “Soaking” and Religion:
  • Bryan (03:09): "If you're not thrusting, then it's not sex. However, if the bouncing up and down causes a little action, then everything's good."
• On OnlyFans:
  • Bryan (16:52): "399 a month times just a hundred thousand people... and you are making a holy sh*t ton of money."
• On Awkward Podcast Introductions:
  • Bryan (22:42): "He introduces me: 'This is Brian. He has a podcast!'... It's not a big deal. I'm just like a dude with some kids and I'm trying to hang out."
• On the TLC Kiss:
  • Bryan (35:49): "His lips are locked. His eyes aren't moving. They're wide open."
  • Annalisa from the show (37:14): "It felt like I kissed his teeth. A kiss tells everything."
• On Ghosting:
  • Bryan (50:19): "If everybody knows that getting ghosted is a terrible feeling, then why do we continue to do it? A text message could save the day."
• On Podcast Brand:
  • Krissy (23:48): "And then I say, it's not for everyone."
  • Bryan (23:50): "Yeah. I always have to be careful about... not everybody's brand of humor."

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Timestamped Episode Structure

| Timestamp | Segment & Highlights | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–02:25 | Opening banter; Krissy’s “inverse psoriasis” and exfoliation jokes | | 02:25–13:02 | Deep dive into “soaking”; Mormon loopholes, tangents, friend dynamics | | 13:02–14:45 | Show tangents, producer Astrid’s contributions | | 14:45–19:56 | OnlyFans, foot fetishes, kink requests, AI responder gags | | 19:56–25:23 | Podcast co-hosts, “Friendly Fans Only,” introducing co-host contests | | 25:23–27:56 | TLC viewing setup, the premise of “Date at First Kiss” | | 27:56–51:56 | Live commentary on TLC’s “Date at First Kiss,” play-by-play, analysis | | 51:56–54:15 | Wrap-up; references to “Sex Box” and other reality show oddities |

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

The episode is a freewheeling, unfiltered banter session packed with absurdity and sharp, dark comedy. It swings from gross-out confessions to playful sex talk, from social awkwardness to reality TV schadenfreude. Bryan and Krissy’s friendship animates the chaos, pulling listeners into the inside jokes. If you want a break from earnest podcasts and love raw, self-aware comedy with a shot of pop culture weirdness, “The Wrinkle Tinkle” is for you.

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Best For

• Fans of unfiltered, off-the-cuff comedy.
• Listeners who appreciate raunchy tangents, awkward TV recaps, and candid discussions of kink, dating, and the human condition.
• Anyone who enjoys feeling like they're sitting at the bar with two hilarious, irreverent friends.

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(Skip the ads and outros to get to the good stuff!)

Transcript

[Brian Green]

That's unfortunate that you've never eaten one ass.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's not weird.

[Chrissy (alternate or same as B)]

Not on purpose. I'm gonna be vulnerable for a second. I have a thing called inverse psoriasis, which is I get psoriasis in the cracks of my body. So my butt crack is actually. It's like flaky, like dandruff on the head, but in my asshole crack. So if someone were to just go chomp it down on my ass, they would just get skin flakes, like sprinkles right down their throat. And it's not pleasant.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Get a pet egg.

[Chrissy (alternate or same as B)]

You want me to pumice? Stone my asshole.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, if anybody was looking for this old ass body, I would be on there in a heartbeat.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, there's something for everybody.

[Brian Green]

There is something. Well, yeah, but I don't. I'm not gonna get into the hundreds of thousands. I'm gonna have, like, 10 really horny women and four extremely horny dudes in their mid-60s that are gonna be like, oh, show me that wrinkly crack again. I want a wrinkle tinkle. Show me your wrinkle tinkle. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cousin kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this crazy show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Bestie.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast univers. All right, all right, here we are again. The wheel, the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, Round and round and fall off sometimes. Yes, the paychecks always come with zeros on the line. Zeros on the line. Zeros on the line.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And yet here we are, our little passion project.

[Brian Green]

Yes, against all odds is our theme song by Phil Collins. How could I just let you walk away? Oh, good old Phil Collins.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Good old Phil Collins.

[Brian Green]

Good old Phil Collins. What happened to my microphone? It kind of got scratchy there for a second. Sorry about that. He had more stuff falling apart here at the studio. Please send donations to dcbpodcast.com for Brian's new microphone so you can actually hear me during the show. Or maybe send donations and I'll keep the same microphone and I'll slowly just fade away. It'll be Chrissy laughing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Oh, all right. Hey, I wanted to talk about something. I think we've talked about this before. Not 100% sure, but I recently heard somebody on a vodcast talking about the very popular Mormon ritual of soaking do you know what soaking is? It is what it sounds like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wait, I think we have talked about. Wait, is this where somebody else is in the room?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Where someone jumps on the bed?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yes. So soaking. Because Mormons, a lot of other religions, don't believe in premarital sex, they have decided that there is a way around that, that only the friction equals sex. That if you just stick it in and leave it there, then actually you're not having intercourse. And I don't even know how that works in your brain, but Catholics believe do it in the butt, and that's not sex. So I'm not here to throw stones. I'm just sharing the information that I know. And this is a very odd thing, but. So the Mormons get in bed together. A couple gets in bed together, he slips it in, he soaks it. Right? He soaks it. And then at some point, a friend will come in the room and then jump on the bed. Because if you're not thrusting, then it's not sex. However, if the bouncing up and down causes little action, then everything's good.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You can't get pregnant that way. Right?

[Brian Green]

You cannot get pregnant that way. It's been proven. It's science, baby.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A little parental.

[Brian Green]

Ask the scientist about this one. That's what I'm going to tell my kids. I'm going to say just soak it. Don't. Don't poke it. Just soak it and you poke it. Oh, yeah, soak it. Don't poke it or poke it, then soak it and then.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, don't stoke it.

[Brian Green]

Don't stoke it. Yeah, make. Make sure you don't stoke it. This is stoke it, don't poke it, soak it, don't poke it is the new commercial break theme tagline. We've changed our tagline so many times. Currently it's the Cheesecake Factory, a podcast. But I'm gonna say the commercial break. So can't focus this. But when I remembered this, I think we talked about this, like episode number four or something. It had so long ago. Yeah, but this just is a crazy thought to me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You just rethought of it?

[Brian Green]

I just read it. Yeah. Well, I'm old enough that after a couple of years, it just leaves my. My brain altogether. And then when it comes back, it's like a fresh idea.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What made you think of it?

[Brian Green]

These two people talk. They're like, you know, do they really do this? Do they really do. The answer is yes, they do this. Yes. Because I know Mormon folks and my Best friend for a long time was a kind of Mormon. She was, like, on her own little roomspring. A journey or whatever they call it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

A room Springer is not. Has nothing to do with Mormons. I'm totally full of shit, by the way. Just ignore me. So that's. It's just like the thought of being in a girl and then having my best bud, like Raphael behind me or you just jumping on the bed.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's not that far out of the question once we're talking about Raphael swirl.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. Raphael probably has bounced on a couple bits. Yes. I'm in a. I'm gonna spread your butt cheeks so the stars. So the starlight can get in your hole. And then I'll bounce.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's what I love about him. And then he's always trying, and then you're different and new.

[Brian Green]

He is. He's nev. This guy Raphael, who I haven't talked about enough, probably on this show, but he is my other best friend. He is the male version of Chrissy. But Raphael and I actually have had sex, and Chris and I have. Okay, we didn't have sex. He just soaked it. He just was soaking it. No, poke. God. That's right. He jumped on the bed. Raphael. Yeah. I love him, and everybody loves him. There isn't a person. There's not. There's not a damn thing. Not. There's not a damn thing. Wrong.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's always happy, and he's always trying something new, and always just. He just explores life.

[Brian Green]

And he's intense about it. He's like a true Renaissance man. He's like, whatever it is, I'm gonna give it a try at least once. And he usually drags me along with him, kicking and screaming. He's like, come on, let's try this. And I'm like, I don't want to. And he's like, you'll want. You'll. You'll regret not doing this.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Every time Raphael had some kooky idea, like, I don't know, ayahuasca, or, you know, come down to Costa Rica for a month and live with me or whatever, you know, we did that. We did that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Come down to this tantra seminar, you know, let's sun our bum holes or whatever. Anytime he has a cold plunge. The cold plunge, the fasting, the. All the fasting. He has all the ideas. And usually long before it becomes some popular. Right. And so. Raf. But Raphael will tell you that this is the one thing in your life you cannot miss. Every time it is the thing that you have to do. Raphael is really good and he's very convincing. He's very convincing actually. He doesn't take no for an answer. He just says yes. He says yes for you. He's like, we're going to this party in the woods, bro. I've been inviting you for 12 years and you've never shown up. You're doing it, so I paid for you. I got a ride for you. Picking you up at 9am we're going and I'm like, I have no interest in party of the woods. 10:00am I'm sleeping in the back of a car on a four hour drive to some waterfall in North Carolina. I mean it's all. But everybody in life needs that friend. They need that friend that just drags you along. I feel like Raphael is my that friend. I'm that your friend. I'm like, come on, Chrissy, let's go to Costa Rica for two weeks. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about your job.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And then I'm that person for Jeff.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Yeah, you are.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Come on this festival.

[Brian Green]

Me and Jeff are like the same. I just wanted to sit here and watch the masters.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

So soaking. Let's go back to soaking because I think it's a really interesting prospect that you would have. What is the conversation you have with the friend who's going to jump in the room? Hey, listen, I'm going to go soak my dick for a couple of minutes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, apparently it's a thing, so maybe you just come out and say it. I'm like, I need you to help. Soak helps.

[Brian Green]

I need a soak host. A soak co host, dude.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Your real true friend.

[Brian Green]

By the way, soaking does happen with people outside the Mormon religion too. It's called regular sex with Brian. You don't thrust just yet. No, there's no thrust. I'm too old for all that. I'm gonna break my hip. Don't get on top of me. I'm gonna break my back. Don't. I'm not gonna thrust. I'm gonna break a hip. What is that conversation that you have with friends? But by the way, I have a Mormon friend that I was, I was friends with for years. And like I was saying, she was like on this journey. Journey, she was trying to figure out if Mormon was the only thing out there for her.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And, but she mainly stuck to the Mormon rules, including wearing the garment. You know the, some people refer to it as a magic garment, but it's Not a magic garment. It's a garment that signifies purity that they wear underneath all their clothing all the time. And she would wear the garment and she explained to me one time that this is a phenomenon that happens with the teenagers is. I don't think she referred to it as soaking because I think I clearly would have remembered that term being as funny as it is. But she said that there is a version of sex that doesn't include actual action. It's just literally slip it in and that's it. Listen, I've had sex lots in my life, mostly with myself, but on occasion, I convince somebody else to come along on the journey with me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And I will tell you that you could soak and probably still get off. I mean, men could soak and probably still.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's probably a big build up to it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You got to imagine you're so pent up. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're going to do this.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do you take off the magic garments?

[Brian Green]

I think you have to. Well, I think you have to.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Then how. What's that saying? That's saying violating something.

[Brian Green]

Well, I mean, they'd have to. They have to bathe. Right. So maybe you do it in the bath and then you have a friend come and like push you up against.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The wall with the soak.

[Brian Green]

What if you had.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let's take a soak.

[Brian Green]

Let's take a soak in the tub. In the tub. We all know water sex is bad, but I'm imagining these kids are too young to know the difference. They're adventurous. They still think the shower scene works. Right. Okay. They'll get older and realize. Yeah. Or the pool. They'll get older and realize that that doesn't work at all. Sex in the ocean is the worst. That's the worst. That is the worst. I had sex in the ocean. I'm not going to. I had sex in the ocean and I'm telling you, it was not like the most pleasurable experience in the world. The waves crashing up against you. And we were at a crowded beach. Like, don't ask. We were just being a little adventurous. No one knew.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't think sand is going everywhere.

[Brian Green]

Oh, sand, salt, all kind of stuff. Fish. There's probably small octopus in someone's vagina currently. Yeah. What if you got. What if you did the soaking in the bathroom and you could get like multiple friends to help? What if you had one friend that held up one leg and another friend that held up the other leg and then some guy who just on occasion came and rammed you up against the side of the wall. Like the pusher. He just kind of pushed you every once in a while.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Dangerous.

[Brian Green]

It does.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Second off. Not comfortable.

[Brian Green]

But the reason why I bring this up is because I want you and Jeff to try this and tell me how it all works out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You guys are adventurous or adventurous moving forward. This seems like a step backward.

[Brian Green]

Well, not when you have a third person in the room jumping on the bed. That's all kind of adventure. What are you talking about?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

Will they talk dirty?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Be the friend.

[Brian Green]

No, not really. I don't want to ruin it. There's some things you can't come back from.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Astrid has one leg, you have another leg. You just give Jeff a shove.

[Brian Green]

I just shove Jeff in the back every once in a while. What if I just slap his ass? I keep slapping his ass. I do a little tickle on his tank, and he's. He's like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We'Ve got to do this for the podcast, honey.

[Brian Green]

Yes. What if I give him a prostate massage while Astrid's holding up both of his legs? And I just go deep in there? I'll. I'll press that button. You know, there's. You know, there is a lot of. There are a lot of men, and this is proven, like, this is a fact that there is a special G spot for men in that prostate too. And you touch it, and there you just. Off you go.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's like instant come. Yeah. Soak it. Don't poke it. Remember that, kids. For all those kids listening in the car, your horrible parents are allowing you to listen to this show on the drive home.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They're like, next episode.

[Brian Green]

Soak it. Poke it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Poke it.

[Brian Green]

This is fun. I like thinking about this. Yeah. Okay, so you and Jeff, me and Asrin in the. In the shower. I think we should probably do it on the bed. So you guys get in there on the bed, you put the covers over your head, like, to your shoulders, and then when you're ready, you just yell. You just be like, brian, I don't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Know why I'm picturing this happening in a weird hotel room.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I was hoping it could happen right here at my house in a weird hotel room like the Motel 6. You just text me when you're ready. Hey, Bry, all ready. And I'll come in with, like, a.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Cape and a magic.

[Brian Green]

Magic garment and a mask on, and I'll start jumping. But because you want to make sure you respect the Lord, I'll have to do the dirty talking for you. So I'll be like, oh, yeah, Jeff, right there. Uhuh. Oh, Chrissy. Oh, Krissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Green]

I'll text to you guys some things to say.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And also I can record it for posterity's sake because it's nothing if it's not content for the show. We need content for the show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

I think Jeff will be up for this. Yeah, Talk to him. Talk to him when you guys are doing like a naked cooking session.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And just say, hey, Jeff, we got a new idea for the show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's so slip it in there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's literally. Literally. But he'll slip it in there. You tell Jeff, while you got that frock on and your ass is hanging out, you say, hey, Jeffrey, Brian had a great idea for the show. And I know since you're so supportive, you'll do this for us.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You mind just soaking it while Brian.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Jumps in like Superman is money, honey.

[Brian Green]

This could make us money. I bet if we. There's got to be soaking porn out there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh God, probably. There's every kind of.

[Brian Green]

There's every kind of porn every single day.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We should start the only fans, you.

[Brian Green]

Know, I'm telling you what, man, I see like sometimes I'll get those, you know, you this on the commercial break feed. We took all of the followers off except for the people that we interview and. But now I'm getting like these random suggestions suggested for you. So since my commercial break account is filled with just, you know, half naked women, I get this constant feed of these girls and they are in various states of undress, looking super sexy, super hot. Good for them. And then they have their.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And I'm sure that's actually them.

[Brian Green]

Well, it is some of them. Most of them. Most of them. But I don't know. Who cares? I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if it's them or not. I'm not a detective.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You watch episode after episode after episode of catfish.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Okay, I'm ready to get catfished. Yeah, I've never been catfished. I feel like I'm being left out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. We could do that for the show too. You could throw in a line.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The catfish to bite.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that's true. I never thought about that. What if I put like a Tinder profile together?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

With like some hot fake photographs and I just say I'm ready to soak. Soaking. Welcome. I'm a super soaker. That's what I am. I'm a super soaker. I'm a double down poker. Okay, so I'm scrolling And then a lot of times you'll click and it'll be like, of account. Right. Link here. And when you click onto the of account only fans account, when you click onto the lonely fans account, there are some women that have been served to me. Mainly women that have 9000-007000-00600,000 people that are on their OnlyFans account. 399amonth times just a hundred thousand people. And you are making a holy of money.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

It's insane how much money you can make. If anybody was looking for this old ass body, I would be on there in a heartbeat.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's something for everybody.

[Brian Green]

There is something. Well, yeah, but I don't. I'm not going to get into the hundreds of thousands. I'm gonna have like 10 really horny women and four extremely horny dudes in their mid-60s that are going to be like, show me that wrinkly again. I want a wrinkle tinkle. Show me your wrinkle tinkle. And I just don't want to take weird requests from even stranger people. Do you know what I'm saying? Imagine the kind of fan mail that those. The kind of fan email that those people that. It's got to be outrageous. That's the part. That's the part that makes me think twice about ever doing anything sexually related on the Internet. Not that I'm above it. I am not above it. But first of all, no one wants to see me. Second of all, I don't have particularly great skills in bed or on camera. So I'm. I'm not, if this show is any indication. So I'm not looking to, you know, be a superstar in that realm. But then, number three, I don't want to deal with the kind of feedback that you would get being one of those only fans, models, cam cam guys or whatever you call it. I think you're gonna have to take this one on the chin for us.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've said I'll do the feet.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Asher and I were talking about that too. And she was like, well, let's put. Let's do it. You got pretty feet. Let's go. Put your feet on there. And we started thinking it all through, right? Not probably no one would ever know it was her feet. You could put a fake name. You only have to show the feet. That's it. Smushing stuff, bananas and all that kind of. Right. But at the end of the day, you've got to go into a really weird headspace to get where these people are going sometimes, right? And that's probably has to do with any kind of sexual activity. Not just feet. I'm not knocking on foot fetish because apparently millions and millions of people have these. They do foot fetish because there's people making millions of dollars on that site. I know, but the thing is, when someone asked you to squash a banana or an orange or a dick or whatever it is, dildo, whatever these strange requests are, you're going to have to get in the headspace to respond to that. And if you really want to make money, you're going to have to oblige to some of that stuff that you are willing to do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I see nothing wrong with squishing a banana with my toes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but imagine the email that comes with that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, that's when you just have an automated response. I'm imagining so much. I appreciate.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. You could do that. Just have AI respond to it. I mean, I just like read one of these emails. Like, you know, I imagine your toes have nipples and I want to stick it on my tongue and roll it around and then I want to spit, spit, spit, spit on me and kick my balls and make them bleed. I'm coming in my own mouth.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wow, you've really thought about that.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I have.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Gone down the road.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I have. Crucify my dick. Put nails right through the head. I love you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was thinking this about a little so playfulness.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You think it's going to be friendly in that place? You think it's going to be friendly? Forget about it, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Friendly fans only.

[Brian Green]

Friendly fans only. That's a good one. Friendly fans only. Ffo. We're starting our new website right after the gambling site for the NFL. Brian's sister co host idea. And then, you know, ffo, everything that's in the notebook. By the way, we got a few people that said they were willing to be a sister co host.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, a few people responded to that. So if, you know, if you ever want to take some time off, let me know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That does. I do have, I do need to do that coming up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Jeff's got a couple of festivals I'm going up there for.

[Brian Green]

I would say that it might not be a bad idea, like a terrible idea to put together a raffle or a contest of some sort where someone gets to be a guest co host for the day when you're out or I'm out and then they just come in and you just randomly have a conversation with them. Yeah, so I've Already picked that person, and they're going to be here for the next six to 12 months. Let me know if we have any paychecks that show up and see you later. Chrissy's like, bye.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

As Jeff says, whenever I leave to come here, be careful and be funny.

[Brian Green]

Be careful. Yeah, be funny. That's my favorite part.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now I'll be funny.

[Brian Green]

I know I've got this friend and I love him to death, but he is so. And we were friends before the podcast became popular. Quote, unquote, whatever that means. For a while. No, I'm friends with him, but I get a little shy because whenever anybody else besides him is in a room, like, I told you that one time, we were like, somewhere and he introduced one of his friends. He's like, this is Brian. He has a podcast. It's so funny. You got a video. Steve O. Is on his show. Margaret was on his show. Right. You know, he, like, makes it a big deal. It's not a big deal. I'm just like a dude with some kids and I'm trying to fucking hang out. Right? But he does this. But it gets a little. I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know it's hard to respond to that because you. What are you supposed to be like.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the best.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But everything he's saying more.

[Brian Green]

I have women come up to me and they go, soak me, poke me. Women. Women want to be mean. Men wanna you. No, men want to be you. Women want to you. You're Brian Green. Look at you. Look how you glide across the strip club floor. I'm gliding because I'm so fucking high on cocaine right now, my feet won't touch the ground. That's fine. Shut up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That was a funny night.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was a funny night.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But he. Back to your phone.

[Brian Green]

Okay, but. And what I say, like, sometimes then you are.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You could be like, oh, no. I'm shocked.

[Brian Green]

No, I get so. I'm so embarrassed about this show. I just, like, turn red and walk away. What am I supposed to do? Because the other thing is, is then he's like, oh, you have a comedy podcast. So, like, what kind of comedy? Right?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, I get that this one guy.

[Brian Green]

Was like, oh, so you do, like, jokes and stuff. So, like, give me an example of a joke. And I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that. You're. I'm not a fucking monkey. Yeah. Knock, knock. Who's there? Shut the fuck up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's the kind of stuff we do.

[Brian Green]

That's the kind of stuff we do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, you should do that next time.

[Brian Green]

No, I just. I like, open up my Apple app and I'm like, here. You can. What? You can listen to yourself. Like, what do you want me to do? To dance around? It'd be funny for you. I'm not even funny on the show. Dance around and be funny. I do. I spin it around with a top.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You got a cane. I'll show you.

[Brian Green]

I have a big coat on and a top hat, and I spin the game.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. It is.

[Brian Green]

Have you heard about Rosie Rita?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is like an awkward.

[Brian Green]

She's got super sexy feet.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's. It's hard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is. It is kind of such a hard.

[Brian Green]

Life being a podcast.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No. Well, I do the same thing, though, where I'm like, here, here it is.

[Brian Green]

That's what I do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And then I say, it's not for everyone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. I always have to be careful about.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Not everybody's brand of humor.

[Brian Green]

I know. We get. Yeah, we, like, at the school, sometimes I'm like, oh, God, I. I mean, I've said this a million times, and I love. But I love almost everybody at the school.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Secret safe.

[Brian Green]

I know. Your secret. Safe with me, but everybody has said that, like, it's a big. Everybody has a secret that I have a secret podcast that no one can talk about out loud because it's really not funny. And he's quite obnoxious, and he says stuff that's way not cool with the school. Right, Right. And, like, now there's like, I'm not even going to get into this. I shouldn't get into this. Okay. All right, so let's do this. Let's take a break. I have got a dating show that I found that is outrageous. It's a tlc. I can't believe I've never seen this before. It's on tlc. It's called Date at First Kiss. Oh, can you believe this? You want to. We have to take a listen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I would love.

[Brian Green]

This is right up our alley. Never seen it. Not seen the video. It was submitted to us. I know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can't fan.

[Brian Green]

They. They. Sometimes they run late at night. And by the way, there's like 12 different TLCs around the world, like the UK version, the Canada version. And so there's a lot of those different shows, and I'm not sure sometimes where they come from, but someone actually submitted this to us and was like, you got to review this video.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Keep the content coming.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Please, please. Yes. If you Literally think of anything. We should. I should be on your favorites on the text message. 212-4333, TCB. Just send it. If you fart loudly, record it and send it to me. It'll fill five minutes. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

Hey, podcast universe, it's Astrid. While Brian and Creasy are here messing around in the studio, I am here doing the important work behind the scenes. So who better to tell you where to go than your favorite Venezuelan producer? That's me. First, go to tcbpodcast.com and check out the website I helped design. Then hit the contact us button and send us your address to get your free TCB sticker that I also designed. You can text us at 212-4333, TCB and it's likely I'll be the one to respond. And one last favor. Follow us on Instagram. Hecommercial break. It takes me a lot of time to create all those posts. You can watch the [e-mail] thecommercial break and see how I made Brian and Chrissy look good in that studio. See, Brian, you're not the only one I boss around. And now let's hear from our sponsors while I go back to work.

[Brian Green]

All right, so listener submitted video from tlc, the noted favorite channel of the commercial break. Brian Fish, TLC and old white people pontificating about political news. That's what Chrissy and I watch here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, that's what you watch.

[Brian Green]

No, that's what you watch because I have it on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Why not? That's what I have to watch. That's the only way I know about any of those things.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you love catfish. Don't lie. You love catfish. You get into it, you're like, well.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It'S hard not to, of course.

[Brian Green]

See what happens now you know how Jeff feels when he walks in and he catches you with one of these shows. Or I walk in on Astrid and the Bachelor. I'm like, oh, now I'm sucked in. What am I gonna do? I can't get out of here. So listener submitted video from tlc. I don't know when this was done, but it's called Date at First Kiss. So I'm as unknowledgeable about this as anybody in the room. So let's just put it on and we'll see what happens. I was trolling on the Internet as you do, as I do like to do. And here's a handsome young fella looking to spray some of that in his mouth. That never makes your breath smell good. It just makes it smell stuff.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Bianca. Is it Bianca? Was that. Was it what?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Is it something like.

[Brian Green]

Bianca. Bianca.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I never even see that in the checkout lines anymore.

[Brian Green]

No, because I think it had, like, heavy metals in it. Yes, I know you're just spraying like. I don't. Asbestos in your mouth or something. And by the way, never made your breath smell good. Yeah, you did. Two squirts for one. If you happen to kiss someone within three seconds of putting that in your mouth, maybe they, too, would test taste, that weird metallicy taste. But besides that, it wasn't doing you any good. All right, let's take a listen. Let's see what he's up to.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

It's gonna be great. I'm Josh. I'm 27. No pressure. And today I'm gonna kiss a girl for the first time. Oh, I can. I can do this. I'm ready.

[Brian Green]

No, you are not, bro. You are definitely not ready. Look at those eyes. He's so scared.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

This has got to be a tough one.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Nerve wracking, your first kiss.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's his very first kiss.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He said he's 27.

[Brian Green]

He's never kissed anybody.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This is my first kiss.

[Brian Green]

Jeez. Yeah, you got to get the first kiss in under 27. I do. I think under 21.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Otherwise, the pressure just builds and.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it builds and builds, and then you're just talking yourself out of it all the time. You're anticipating something. I mean, honestly, I think a good first kiss time is like 15, you know, 14 to 16 years old. Yeah, that's my opinion. Don't write in. Stop with the stupid Apple reviews about every fucking thing I say. Please. Thank you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, I wonder if he's one of these guys that's actually done everything but kiss.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, everything but. No pun intended. Everything but. That's. That's what they teach sometimes in some of these parochial schools.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I don't even know how I made it 27 years without kissing a girl. It's really crazy, actually. Like, none of my friends have waited that long. I don't think anyone probably in the human history have waited that long.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, there's. I know a lady who just turned 100 years old.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You know her?

[Brian Green]

I know her personally. She turned 100 years old last week. She has never ever, according to her, ever been with a man in any kind of romantic way. So she is likely to die without ever having touched a man in a sexual way.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Some people are asexual.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't think that's it. I mean, I could tell the whole story, but I won't. But just know that you continue to amaze me, Brian.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, we've been friends for so long and you say still.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know her too. You just.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I do?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You do? Yeah. You know of her? You've met her? You've met her. I do what? Yes, yes. I'll tell you after the break.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A family member.

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Is it a family member?

[Brian Green]

Family member? Yes. My twin brother. He's 100 years old. He's never kissed anybody. And by the way, he's a she. So there you go.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Be shy when it comes to talking to girls. So hopefully, like, this can lead to something. Might be a little freaked.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, that's enough spray.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, dude. Whoa. That's 12 sprays in there, bro. You're gonna open your mouth and like, hot ass is gonna come out of there. I mean, that can't be good. At some point it starts working against you.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Kiss in the world are my mom and grandma, but there's no way I'd kiss my mom and grandma. Like, I'm gonna kiss this girl.

[Brian Green]

Are you sure? Come here.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Mommy, can I practice practicing and trying to watch videos of people kissing?

[Brian Green]

Grab.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Like the cheek and face is kind of a big thing. Wrapping the arms around. Maybe do something with the hair.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get all that complicated, dude. Don't get all that complicated. If this. If you don't know this woman. A little. My opinion. A little. Nice face grab. Right? So you've got some tender touching. Make sure your hands are warm and then stick your tongue. Just start darting your tongue directly into her mouth. Yes. Like a snake. Make sure it's forceful and heavy. You want her to choke onto your tongue. That's how you do it.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yes. I'll pucker my lips and. I don't know, I just kind of.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. He's in a TV studio. Just to let you know, those who are listening, he's in a TV studio. Big white backdrop. And this has got to be so nerve wracking.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. My heart is actually racing. Like, my palms are actually sweaty. I really want to follow.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Also, he's on tv.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

What if she's the one?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Why did you. Why did you agree to do this on tv, dude? You obviously have a little anxiety around this. Why does every.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let me get a camera crew. Yeah, watch me do.

[Brian Green]

Let me get TLC and Millions of viewers to watch me this up. Why does everyone think it's a good idea to do stupid on TV for the first time?

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

I am from Beverly Hills. Am I an experienced kisser?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's an experienced kisser.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my gosh. This girl is gorgeous. Wow.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's. They're bringing in the heavy.

[Brian Green]

Why did she agree to this? What is she up?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

To be on TV.

[Brian Green]

To be on TV. That's right.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

I was 13 when I had my first kiss.

[Brian Green]

She's taking a shot of tequila. Good idea.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she is. Kisser. She knows. She knows. I have to be a little drunk for this one.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

I made a goal to myself. That'd be a great kisser. It took a lot of practice, trial and error, and I must say, I developed a couple of tricks in my bag to make me a bit confident. I love a man.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I think you think a little bit too much of yourself here, young lady.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

That's aggressive. And it will pull me in and just grab my face and just kiss me. I'm ready.

[Brian Green]

He is literally going to faint when he sees this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, right? Yeah. She's got on strappy high heel shoes, short shorts, tight short shorts, tube top. Yep.

[Brian Green]

Wow.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She was applying lipstick, getting ready for the kiss.

[Brian Green]

Wow. This is like me and Tiger woods going to Augusta national and saying, hey, it's my first time. It's my first time playing here. He'd be like, cool, dude, see you later. She's walking down the stairs. He's sweating like a maniac.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I haven't, like, had this experience, so I don't know what my body's gonna.

[Brian Green]

Oh, his palms have to be so sweaty.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Why is it in a white room? Are they like in a padded.

[Brian Green]

Because. Because they're trying to make it anxiety inducing. They have to get good TV here, so they just make it as unnatural. Like, no one's gonna kiss in front of six cameras and a white backdrop that looks like you're filming fucking Avatar 4. It's never going to happen. And then they're going to bring in the sexiest, sultriest woman you've ever met in real life. I mean, I'm sorry, but. I'm sorry to put it like this, but I'm not sure this guy would naturally meet this woman and kiss her on his own. Like, I'm just not sure they're in the same league. Yeah, I'm not in the same league. He's not in the same league. What? Wow. This. This could not be more panic inducing right now. Okay, here she comes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's the weirdest set.

[Brian Green]

It is.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

Hello. Hi. I'm literally about to blow your dick off. Oh, he's frozen.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Do you mind if I give you a kiss?

[Brian Green]

Yes, you mind? Yes, yes, please. He said full attention. He's like, oh, I've never felt this way about anybody before. This is gonna suck for him, you know? Want to know why? He's gonna fall in love with her instantaneously.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That could be the truth.

[Brian Green]

Well, I never forgot my first kiss. He's 27. He's certainly. He's been thinking about it all this time. This gorgeous woman walks in, he's gonna kiss her. And you think he's just gonna forget about that? No. I see a restraining overcoming in this girl's future. What's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Kiss and run.

[Brian Green]

Hitting kiss, kiss and run.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

No, no, I don't mind.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they just went straight for it. Oh, my God. Dude, no.

[Chrissy (alternate or same as B)]

What?

[Brian Green]

Chrissy, let's watch the replay on this. I'm gonna explain.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They're not even doing tongue. It's just that she's just kissing him.

[Brian Green]

Because he's not opening his mouth. He's not even moving his body. His eyes are wide open. This is the worst kiss I've ever. Look at that. What? Okay, so let me explain to the list.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

His lips are pressed tight together.

[Brian Green]

Yes. She walks in with that sultry walk. He is frozen. His eyes are big as saucers. She walks right across the room and says, do you mind if I give you a kiss? Can I kiss you? And he says, yes. And she goes up, grabs his face, pulls her toward him. His lips are locked. His eyes aren't moving. They're wide open. And she's got her eyes closed. She's. She's obviously an experienced kisser. She knows what's going on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's a pro.

[Brian Green]

He can't believe this is happening to him. He's taking mental pictures right now instead of focusing on what he needs to focus on, which is actually kissing. Poor guy. Poor bastard. Chrissy. I feel so bad for this guy. Oh.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Are you nervous?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Don't be.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Okay.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Can I try it one more time?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yes.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

You sure about that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's enthralled.

[Brian Green]

This is awesome.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

He's trying.

[Brian Green]

Okay, loosen them up a little.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, the lips are coming open.

[Brian Green]

Loosen them up. There you go. Loosen up.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Nice.

[Brian Green]

What? She just walked away. He said, thanks.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now there's a breakdown. She's talking to the camera.

[Brian Green]

I love this show. How do we get more of this? I want all of it. All of it you can handle. I think this is awesome.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

It felt like I kissed his teeth. Oh, kiss tells everything.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's like, I can't work with this.

[Brian Green]

No, I got it. Where's my manager? I can't work with amateurs like this. It's unprofessional.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

He wanted me. Not that he was terrified of me.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I was hoping it would go a lot better. I feel disappointed at myself and wish I would have done things a lot differently.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

His mind just went blank.

[Brian Green]

Or bastard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He forgot everything that he was learning.

[Brian Green]

He literally forgot everything ever. I mean, like his name. Yeah. I can't imagine if I was this guy. It's hard for me to put my myself in his shoes, but let's just try for one minute. You're standing there, first kiss, anxiety all over the place. Obviously you haven't had a lot of luck with women in your life. You're a nice, plain looking gentleman, right? You're. What do we say here, like a six, right?

[Christina (promotional voice)]

Cute guy.

[Brian Green]

He's cute. He's not. He's not. He's not bad looking for sure, but he's obviously a ball of nerves. They come in here, they put 75 huge bright lights in front of you, put you on a white backdrop, throw five cameras in the room. Probably no one's saying anything to him. It's just dead silent. She walks in.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now go.

[Brian Green]

Now go. She walks in without any conversation. Just comes up and says, I'm going to kiss you. Yeah. And then grabs you and pulls you toward her. I can't say that I would have done any better at 27 years old had I never had a kiss before. But now the regrets. I mean, I might as well have gone and done two, eight balls of cocaine and three bottles of tequila over a three day period and had less regret than this guy did about this kiss. Poor bastard. I want to have this guy on the show. Yeah, Chrissy, kiss this guy. Show him how to soak. Chrissy.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I think I would have felt more confident if the first kiss went well.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hopefully he gets another shot.

[Brian Green]

I think he's gonna get another shot. You should have embraced her. Like you should have just like wrapped your arms around.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Standing there with his arms at the side.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, man.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Maybe she sees potential. Like, oh, he's actually like a good guy. And who knows?

[Brian Green]

How does she know? You guys didn't even say anything to each other. How would he know? Yeah, he's a good guy.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Hopefully it develops into a relationship. Maybe even my wife. That'd be.

[Brian Green]

I told you. I told you this was Going to be my wife? No, no, no. Not going to be your. There's no. There's no chance. There's zero chance. I'm not sure you want this girl as your wife, bro. You're a nice guy and I'm not sure you're gonna. You're gonna get eaten up by this one. Eaten alive by this woman. All right, let's take a break. We'll watch the end of it. It. We'll see what happens. Okay?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

What?

[Christina (promotional voice)]

Oh, hi, it's Christina again here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TC BDO. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back. We're watching what is it? Date at first kiss here. And we've got our friend who's never kissed anybody, 27 years old, just had his first kiss with a very sultry, very sexy, very beautiful woman. It did not go well to say the least. But I mean, I guess what we get. What can you expect from a 27 year old in his first kiss? Yeah. So let's see if he gets a second bite at the apple. I hope he does.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Amazing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So now he's sitting on the couch.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In a more relaxed environment. I mean, that was just weird, though, with the white.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Room. Like, I don't know that I.

[Brian Green]

In a huge TV studio. That's true.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's that setting.

[Brian Green]

Did you. You didn't have a big wedding. I mean, you had a wedding. Right, but you didn't have a huge wedding.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Did you feel awkwardness about your first kiss?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No, I didn't either. Like, I felt no strangeness whatsoever about my first kiss. Even in front of me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, everybody's rooting.

[Brian Green]

Twelve people rooting for you. Yeah. No one's rooting for this guy. They're all rooting for him to fail because that makes good tv. Now they put him in a Green room to sit on a couch. And he's probably just has to sit there and, like, replay over and over again. Come on, give him a second chance.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I'd be really disappointed for sure if she doesn't show up to the speed date. Hopefully, like, now they go on.

[Brian Green]

Oh, now they go on a speed date. That's an interesting twist. I like that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, you start with the kiss, then you do a speed date.

[Brian Green]

Start with the kiss, go backwards. I like that. And here she comes, I think down the hallway.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yep, that's her.

[Brian Green]

She's nice. She's not going to. She's not going to bail. She's going to be like, listen, I just kissed this dude. I might as well spend another 15 minutes. Plus, it's camera time, right? For my.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And I've been paid.

[Brian Green]

It's camera time for my reel. Will she? Won't she?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's opening the door.

[Brian Green]

Hey. Oh, good for her. Hi. Hey.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

How's it going?

[Brian Green]

Good.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

How are you doing?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let's not kiss again. Let's just talk.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's. Let's take it a little slow. Let's walk this backward all the way to when we didn't know each other.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

So cute that he was nervous. It was different. It was awkward. It was sweet. One thing that people don't realize about me, I love a nerdy good guy. And when I saw him, like, oh, my gosh, he's so cute.

[Brian Green]

One thing that no one knows about me, including the guys that date me or any of my friends or my family members, is that I really love a sweet guy. I don't actually want to be seen in public with him, but if I happen to meet one on a television set, I'll be happy to hang out with him for five minutes.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

How are you feeling? It was very nerve wracking for me, I must say.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yeah, that was actually my first kiss ever, so.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

So you've never done a random kiss before?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I've never kissed anyone before. That's.

[Brian Green]

Stop it.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What? Did she not know what show she was doing?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Did not someone not prep her for that? Wow, that's weird. That's even weirder. Love at first kiss, date at first kiss, whatever. It's like you could give a brother a heads up. I'll give a sister a heads up. Hey, we're sending. We're literally throwing this guy to the wolves. And you're the wolf. Okay. Go out there, do a good job. See you later.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Josh's first kiss ever.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we heard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ever.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

I can't even tell you how I feel. Wait, so this is your first kiss? I can't get you?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Yeah, first kiss ever.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

How do you feel about it? Was it at least excited?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Definitely something that I got out of the way. So it's good.

[Brian Green]

Definitely something I got out of the way. That is not what I mean.

[Christina (promotional voice)]

Well, you married me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I see you as my wife. Will you marry me? What if he just gets down on one knee?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's my grandmother's ring.

[Brian Green]

Here's my great grandmother's ring. She stuffed it in her ass on the way to Ellis Island 300 years ago.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

We have those fireworks, you know, so that was a big thing.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

Yeah.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

It'd be cool, like, I guess, to try again.

[Astrid (Venezuelan producer)]

Okay.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Would you be willing to.

[Brian Green]

No, not really. Now that I know.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Kiss again or, you know.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Are you looking at that time?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Oh, my God.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

We can't, like, press replay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

We had a good conversation. It was only two minutes, but she wanted to reset the time, which was definitely in my favor.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

It was such a pleasure meeting you.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Great meeting you, too. I hope she wants to get to know me better. And best case scenario is she's my first girlfriend.

[Brian Green]

Oh, God, dude, no, that's not going to happen, bro. I'm sorry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, was she looking for love, too? Is this that kind of show?

[Brian Green]

I'm a little confused. She got paid 50 bucks to kiss some dude.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know for sure, but that's my guess. My guess is, hey, you can be on a.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So it's not like an actual dating show.

[Brian Green]

I wish it was. I don't know much about this at all. Like, I said, it was sent to me. I said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go in blind, because that's what I always do. So I'm just gonna go in fly. No, I just said I'm gonna go in blind. So I don't, like, you know, spoil it. Spoil the magic. I just want to see it. First take. And that's what we're seeing happens. But if we can find more of this show, we will certainly put it out there for you guys.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I'm really looking forward to actually seeing Annalisa today and meeting with her and talking to her and hopefully knowing her on a deeper level.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they're going on a second date. Wow.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ok, I was wrong.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Ready to do this? I could do this. I had my first kiss with her and it wasn't what I expected.

[Brian Green]

It's just so weird.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

I thought it was wonderful.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he brought a roses. Good for you, dude. Your mama taught you well.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Today I'm meeting Annalise, and we're gonna have this full date, not two minutes. So maybe I'll kiss her for a second time, and maybe it will be more passionate than even the first time.

[Brian Green]

So. Yeah, I wouldn't count on it, but okay. It's nice that you started with the roses. We probably shouldn't tuck in your flannel casual shirt, but that's okay. You're. It's your first date, obviously, so on.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

The speed date, she wanted to reset the time, which was a good sign. So I'm really just hopeful she shows up to this.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I thought he brought a ring.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He took something out of his strips.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the strips are even worse. Yeah. Dude, don't be so obsessed with your breath. It's okay. Unless you got, like, really, like, a chronic problem, you're gonna be okay. Everybody has. Everybody has a, you know, a little off breath here and there. It's part of the kissing process. You're gonna kiss people that have off breath?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Because I know what it feels like to get stood up, and I don't want that to ever happen again. I mean, I didn't really get a practice last night, but with this second kiss, I'm gonna take more control. I think I want a little tongue action today.

[Brian Green]

Lila just, like, grabs her head and rips it off like, I'm here to destroy you.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Antsy. Just waiting here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So he's waiting like a nature reserve or something?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's on a bridge. It's a very beautiful setting. I sure hope she shows up. I wish I understood a little bit more about the premise of the show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Because it could be that they're both trying to find love.

[Brian Green]

It could be. And maybe she really does like sweet guys, and maybe Josh fits the bill up. Oh, don't say she stands him up. Please don't say she stands him up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, they're gonna make it seem like it. Yeah, of course she's gonna pop around.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

That's taking so long. I'm waiting here for Annalisa to come, and I'm going from really excited to, like, anxious, nervous. She's not showing, so it kind of. The nerves kick in.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh, here she comes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, you just. We think they changed the music.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Changed the museum. When? Three old ladies. Three old Karens coming through the park. Can I kiss you? I've never kissed before. Oh, poor bastard.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Am I going to go on a full leg date with this Guy? Is that even a question? No.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Oh, God.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's Isaac.

[Annalisa (from the TLC show)]

Josh's kiss. Princess virginity. All I can say is, you're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, all that nice. All those nice things you had to say about, you know, I like nice guys and I like sweet guys, and you're a sweet. Can we reset the timer so we can have some more time to talk? And the truth was, you were never gonna go out with him in the first place. Oh, poor bastard.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

He was ghosting Annalisa not showing up. It's definitely taking me best practice. I don't know why she said she wanted to get to know me better and then, you know, not show up. Maybe she just didn't want to hurt my feelings. Honestly, I'd rather have her told me she doesn't want to go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, for sure. Like, just send the brother a text and say, hey, listen, it was great meeting you on the set, but it's obvious this is not going to work out between the two of us. I don't have those kind of feelings towards you, but, you know, I wish you luck and thank you. This is. This is why dating these days. And, I mean, this is a weird way to date, so don't get me wrong, but this happens all the time on all those apps. We hear about it all the time. It's happened to me, it's happened to you. Everybody gets ghosted like this, and it's a terrible feeling. So if everybody knows that getting ghosted is a terrible feeling, then why do we continue to do it? A text message could save the day. It really could. It could save someone's psyche. It could make someone feel just a little less shitty about the fact that you're not going to go on a date with them. That's all you have to do. Just send a text. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Because now I bet he feels worse than he did when he started this whole journey.

[Brian Green]

This bro took 27 years to get up the courage to kiss somebody. He does. He had to do it on a television show. It obviously wasn't a great kiss. It was not hard to see that. But, you know, and that. And listen, if the roles were reversed, if this was guy, guy, guy, girl, girl, guy, whatever it was, I would say this exact same thing. Don't ghost a bro. Don't goes to bro.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Second day.

[Brian Green]

Really?

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

Ben did not show up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's giving the ladies.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's giving the old ladies that are doing the power walk roses. Well, maybe one of them is up.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Maybe one of them is divorced.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's what he needs. He needs a good sugar mama, is what he needs. He needs a lady that's kind of a mom kind of a day. Because obviously, I think guys like this are very sweet, that he's very sensitive. He. He's very anxious. He needs someone that's going to talk, take that kind of mom control. Right. And I know that's not everybody's, like, favorite type of role to play in a relationship, but there are some people that do like to, you know, be more matriarchal, I guess.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The teacher.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Josh (from the TLC show)]

You know, it just has to be with the right person. But at least finally I can check off the list that I've kissed a girl, you know, so something under my belt. I. I finally did it.

[Brian Green]

Well, that is a great to. To take you through the roses. Down on the ground. He has all those nice words to say, but the truth is, feelings being hurt are feelings being hurt. That's all you got to say. All right, there you go. Quick little episode of the commercial break. I like that. Yeah, I like that. I'm going to find more of that. There's got to be more.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, there's also the. The show that Paul Shear was telling us about, like Sex Box.

[Brian Green]

Sex Box.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. We need to find and something like that. Because we were talking about the text.

[Brian Green]

That, to me, don't put in the book, because then it'll never happen.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's true, but I think I wrote it in the book when I had them on.

[Brian Green]

Is it Sex Box or Sex Bot? Sex Box.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Because they go into a box and they have sex.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that's right. Paul knows all the good stuff. I know Paul was doing like an old. On his show, he was doing old tape record. You know, remember the voice messages on the actual voice. Voice machines.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And how they had those tapes. You could play the funny ones. We did a show about that many. I don't know, many, many years ago, but I say many, many years ago. We've only been doing this for four years, but then Paul did it, and I saw an Instagram clip of it. It's so much funnier than us. We should probably just change the RSS feed to just direct right over to his podcast, which is so much better than our podcast. Gotta love me some Paul Shear. Got to love me, me some false. All right. Hey, did you go check out Neil Brennan's special yet? Check it out. Neil Brennan dot com. You go to Netflix, you can watch it. It is wonderful. Thank you very much to Neil. Thank you to this week's guest Preacher. Preacher Lawson was just on Jimmy Kimmel. I saw that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

So good for Preacher. He's really making a quite a name for himself.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I really liked him.

[Brian Green]

Preacher was so cool. Yeah, he was so cool. Where was he? He was like on a balcony in Las Vegas or something when he did the interview.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I feel like somewhere.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Anyway, so check out Preacher. Preacher Lawson dot com. He's on tour currently, forever and ever. Like a lot of the comics we talk to are. Check out his Jimmy Fallon special. And he's also got some material out there on YouTube that he wants everybody to watch. So Besides all that, tcbpodcast.com that's where you go. Find out more information about Chris cni. All the show notes, all the audio, all the video links to all of our guests you can get at the website. Plus your free TCB sticker. Go to the contact us page. Hit the drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address. Away we will go. 212-4333 TCB 212-433-3822. Questions? Comments, concerns, content, Ideas? You want to be on the show? Let us know at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com sl the commercial break.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I laugh every time.

[Brian Green]

I know. All right, Chrissy, I love you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Goodbye, Sam.