The Commercial Break – “To Spain For A Fart” (October 23, 2024)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme:
A comedic, storytelling-heavy episode where Bryan recounts his chaotic, anxiety-ridden family trip to Spain for a wedding, juxtaposed with Krissy’s own festival adventures. The duo revel in their signature, improv-infused banter, detailing travel woes, airplane oddities, and the unglamorous realities of parenting—always with irreverence and plenty of laughs.

Main Discussion Points

1. Spain Wedding Trip Kick-off (00:02–11:38)

• Bryan’s Reluctance & Astrid’s Anxiety:
  Bryan explains last-minute debate with his wife, Astrid, over attending a family wedding in Spain because of his impending neck surgery. Astrid insists the trip might be dangerous for Bryan’s health, but Bryan is determined.

  • “She kept on insisting… ‘Let’s just cancel this.’” (02:02, Bryan Green)
  • Hilariously, Bryan is convinced Astrid just wants time away from him.

• Travel Planning Chaos:
  The family’s attempts to get to Atlanta airport devolve as Astrid miscalculates flight time, traffic grows worse by the minute, and the perils of 'park and fly' vs. airport valet are debated.

  • “If we want to do this…I tried to apply some woman logic…” (15:41, Bryan Green)
  • They eventually opt for the pricier, but more predictable valet. According to Bryan, “the valet…worked as directed…It was incredible.” (16:44)

• Packing Regrets:
  Both hosts riff about chronic overpacking and the futility of “options.” Bryan laments leaving behind that one perfect T-shirt, only for the weather to flip.

  • “I want my entire closet…It’s always the one thing you debate at the end.” (12:15, Bryan Green)

2. Krissy’s Mempho Music Festival Recap (25:52–34:39)

• Mempho Festival Recap:
  Krissy shares highlights from the Mempho festival: great weather, strong turnout, dancing, celebrity sightings (Jack White, Trey Anastasio, The Roots, Goose), and hosting duties as the social manager.

  • “All the music was incredible…Tons of good friends to be seen.” (27:37, Krissy Hoadley)
  • Talks about getting an IV drip at the festival to rehydrate after hurricanes rolled through, and how much it genuinely helped: “The IV station does make you feel better.” (28:05, Krissy Hoadley)

• Festival Business:
  Attendance numbers, the VIP experience—Bryan jokes about festival analytics and rich people’s “anal bleaching” perks.

  • “As long as the rich people had a good time, that’s all that matters.” (30:33, Bryan Green)

• Demographics and Party Drug Analysis:
  Quick-fire breakdown of age groups and festival drugs:

  • “It’s mainly a weed and mushrooms crowd.” (35:15, Krissy Hoadley)

3. The Journey to Spain: Planes, Parenting & Public Nonsense (36:31–59:54)

A. Air Travel Mayhem (36:31–46:01)

• Bulkhead Negotiations:
  Describes the wrangling necessary to secure bulkhead seats (for in-flight cribs), dealing with skeptical gate agents, and the elaborate ruse to pass off his toddler as still crib-worthy.

  • “She can walk into a bar and probably not be carded.” (04:36, Bryan Green)
  • “Our child is way too big…but the lady was nice enough.” (36:34, Bryan Green)

• Parenting on a Plane:
  Comedic retelling of herding sleep-deprived children through TSA and onto the flight, including the perennial failed bathroom check — culminating in desperate kids the moment the wheels leave the ground.

  • “Why did you tell me no when you clearly had to go?...You’re a liar. A bold faced liar!” (38:55, Bryan Green)

• First-Class Mystique & The Secret Crew Lounge:
  A child almost opens the forbidden “employees only” door, revealing the hidden flight attendant lounge—a “Ritz Carlton” for crew.

  • “It’s a secret club. It’s like a Ritz Carlton down there.” (43:31, Bryan Green)

B. The Water Bottle Physics Incident (46:50–52:29)

• Hydrodynamics Gone Wild:
  Pressurized water bottles shoot jets of water onto multiple passengers as Bryan opens them, soaking an unreasonably chill seatmate and an understandably less chill woman behind.
  • “When I say shooting out, I mean three rows behind us, like a fucking fountain.” (48:54, Bryan Green)
  • “There was only one thing to do…apologize and then just turn forward and pretend it never happened…” (50:59, Bryan Green)

C. The Most Disgusting Thing Ever Witnessed on a Plane (53:27–59:54)

• Bathroom Etiquette Horror:
  Bryan observes an older woman, barefoot in a tracksuit, pacing the aisles—eventually entering the airplane lavatory with bare feet, for an extended session. He’s aghast:

  • “She…walks in…and is in there for 10 to 15 minutes…barefoot…It was the most single disgusting thing I have ever seen in my entire life” (55:59–57:07, Bryan Green)

• Aftermath and Existential Reflection:
  He reflects on the mysteries of human decision-making, thinking, “This is why the country is in fucking trouble…” (57:07, Bryan Green)

  • Krissy concurs, “Yeah, they probably actually clean the bathrooms in the airport more than they do [on a plane].” (57:11, Krissy Hoadley)

Notable Quotes & Banter

• “So, of course, right before the plane takes off, we go through the list of children and we say, ‘Do you have to go to the bathroom?’ …And five seconds after the plane takes off…‘Daddy, I have to go pee pee!’” (00:01, Bryan Green)
• “We are literally going to Spain for a fart. And we brought the entire house.” (11:03, Bryan Green)
• “The valet, while terribly expensive, worked as directed…It was incredible.” (16:44, Bryan Green)
• “Always bring the t-shirt. You can always wear a t-shirt at a point just to make yourself feel like you wore it.” (13:02, Kristen Joy Hoadley)
• “Hey, I’m giving a blow job here. Leave me alone.” (19:52, Bryan Green, imitating airport parking lot banter)
• “There are little birds that go under the wings and the pilot says, ‘Go, Raven, go’ and wa—you’re in the air, your pee pee disappears…” (46:50, Bryan Green, riffing on airplane mysteries)
• “She opens the door…barefoot. And she is going to the bathroom…barefoot…It was the single most disgusting thing I have ever seen.” (55:59, Bryan Green)
• “[If] they take their socks off and head to the bathroom—imagine. What would you think?” (59:54, Bryan Green)

Memorable Moments & Comic Tangents

• Game-Time Decisions & Marital Blame:
  Bryan’s hilarious anxiety spiral over the airport logistics, punctuated by ongoing, self-deprecating marriage jabs.
• The Secret Plane Door:
  The shock and awe (and envy) as a child almost enters the forbidden flight attendant lounge.
• Festival Social Dynamics:
  Krissy’s rise to PR celeb at Mempho, her surprise at making the official reels, and discussions about VIP perks and festival crowd drug analysis.
• The Barefoot Bathroom Offender:
  Bryan’s incredulous, near-existential meltdown provides the episode’s gross-out climax and thematic punchline.

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------| | 00:01 | Bryan introduces travel chaos, kids’ bathroom mishaps | | 11:03 | Packing regrets: “Going to Spain for a fart” | | 16:44 | Airport valet rescue story | | 25:52 | Krissy’s Mempho Festival report and IV hydration | | 36:34 | Securing bulkhead seating on international flights | | 38:55 | The “Great Bathroom Refusal” & forced kid pee dance | | 46:50 | Water bottle mishap: soaking innocent passengers | | 53:27 | Airplane people-watching and bathroom habits | | 55:59 | The barefoot bathroom horror, disgust commentary | | 59:54 | Aftermath and relationship hypotheticals | | 60:37 | Teaser for future: massages, weddings, dancing horses |

Overall Tone & Experience

TCB’s signature: frenetic, unpolished, and infectious. Bryan and Krissy riff off each other’s real-life misfortunes, exposing the absurdity of family life, the unpredictability of travel, and the cringe-worthy things people do in public—all with tongue firmly in cheek. The episode balances “parents just surviving” with self-aware, often dark, observational humor, making listeners feel like they’re eavesdropping on a loopy, relatable conversation.

Best For: Anyone who’s survived family travel, enjoys chaotic storytelling, or just wants to laugh at the messiness of being human.

—Summary by your sentient podcast chatbot. Wah-bam!