Two Blueberries & A Club Girl

Summary

THE COMMERCIAL BREAK Episode: “Two Blueberries & A Club Girl” Date: May 31, 2024

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Overview of the Episode

On this episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley do what they do best: improv-style comedic commentary, pop-culture tangents, and hilarious breakdowns of internet oddities. Today, the duo dives into a viral internet debate on aging, shares personal stories about health trends, pokes fun at wellness influencers, and, as is tradition, react to a new video from the infamous “Frankie B.”—a seasoned gym-guru with questionable breakfast habits. The episode embodies the show’s self-aware, irreverent, and chaotic comedy, with topics ranging from the trauma of frozen blueberries to the pitfalls of Instagram ayahuasca influencers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. People Aged Faster in the Old Days — Or Did They?

(00:53–05:42)

• Bryan and Krissy riff on the internet trend noting how people looked “older” in the 1960s-80s compared to millennials and Gen Z today.
  • Memorable comparison: Timothy Chalamet at 29 (“looks 19, looks fantastic”) vs. Jason Alexander on Seinfeld at 29 (“looks 58… balding, chubby, wrinkles”).
• Wilford Brimley becomes the running joke—he was the “Quaker Oats guy” who always “looked 112” no matter his actual age.
• Discussion morphs into theorizing why we appear to age slower now: better skincare, possible effects from “all the plastic in the water” (“It’s mummifying us!” – Bryan, 03:28), and longer average lifespans.

2. Nostalgia: Creepy Old TV Shows, Cartoon Sexualization & 80s Culture

(05:42–07:18)

• Bryan and Krissy recall and lightly roast late-20th-century TV like “Little House on the Prairie” and “The Waltons,” riffing on the oddly large cast and “creepy” feel.
• Side discussion about 80s cartoons being sexualized (“Tell me what you think about She-Ra… tits a plenty, Kardashian ass, muscles everywhere” – Bryan, 06:57).

3. Modern Wellness: Microplastics, Supplements, and Social Media Influence

(03:26–04:21, 10:15–13:58)

• Bryan reads about microplastics in bottled water (“Big Water companies have an average of 240,000 pieces of microplastics in each bottle” – Bryan, 03:28) and jokes about us being physically preserved by our toxic environment rather than healthy habits.
• Krissy and Bryan discuss the wellness industry’s pivot to “at-home ketamine therapy,” critiquing ads and the wisdom of unsupervised psychedelic use (“If you’re going to take ketamine for your crippling depression, that’s not something you want to do at home by yourself in a corner. It’s insane.” – Bryan, 10:15)
• Bryan shares a personal reflection about being “called” to do ayahuasca again and mocks “Get ready with me for my ayahuasca ceremony!” Instagram content:
  • “You have completely missed the boat on this. Preparation for this sacrament… is trembling in fear in a shitty hotel room—not being on Instagram Live, showing everybody your designer handbag that you’re gonna throw up into later.” (Bryan, 12:54)

4. Real Estate Grifts & Career Tangents

(15:12–18:25)

• Bryan jokes about Atlanta’s “real estate entrepreneurs” and the trope of failed agents becoming motivational coaches:
  • “I know a bunch of people… who were real estate entrepreneurs… now they have a patented 22-step process to make you millions… at the airport Hilton.” (Bryan, 16:21)
• More self-deprecating humor about podcasting as “aging as if I’d served a presidential term.”

5. The Friday Ritual: Breaking Down a Frankie B Video—What to Eat in Your 50s and 60s

(18:26–58:43)

a. Frankie B’s Return: Appearance & Setup Commentary

(21:03–23:12)

• Bryan: “He’s looking great… his hair is pulled back, he got his follicle extensions all worked out… in a new kitchen—maybe his daughter kicked him out?”
• Krissy notes the “model apartment” vibe of previous videos vs. current “kind of sad” new setup.

b. Frankie’s Breakfast Routine: Ingredient Overload & Supplement Satire

(23:41–46:57)

• Frankie’s “Power Breakfast” is aggressively deconstructed by Bryan/Chrissy, who riff on each supplement for comedic effect:
  • Direct quote: “The macros, all the carbohydrates the fats and the protein.” (Frankie, 25:09)
  • They list each step — coffee, “7 servings of amino acids,” whey protein by the pound, creatine (“pure ball semen”), chia seeds, flaxseed, turmeric—which Bryan calls “tumor rack”—and finally some berries.
  • Recurring bits include Frankie’s epic confusion around terms (“macros/mackerels”), kitchen mishaps (“Where the hell is my top?” – Frankie, 46:13), and the unappetizing process (“The consistency is really nice… jizz-like consistency. Perfect.” – Bryan, 48:19)
  • Frankie’s advice: “Don’t overfill the cup… it explodes all down the sides.” (Frankie, 46:46)

c. Frozen Blueberries & Club Girls: The Soundbite Moment

• Reference to the episode title comes as Bryan riffs on Frankie’s minimalist snacking advice:
  • Frankie (51:07): “Every time I walk near that door, I’ll just reach in and grab some frozen blueberries… nothing fills me up like two blueberries.”
  • Bryan: “That’s why I like to stay right next to a 19-year-old club girl. I just like to nibble on her every once in a while… nothing fills me up like two blueberries. Three blueberries. Frozen. Nothing makes my Irish teeth worse than rock hard frozen blueberries in my mouth.” (51:38)

d. Satire of Fitness Coaching & Influencer Culture

• Bryan and Krissy mock Frankie’s snack and lunch ideas (“carb free bread, fat free mayonnaise…”), poke fun at the endless self-improvement grind, and theorize about Frankie’s mysterious income.
• The show closes with more loving mockery (“Chef’s kiss, Frankie!”) and Bryan fantasizing about a Freaky Friday–style body swap with Frankie for a day.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

(Timestamps in MM:SS)

• “I feel like the Joe Biden of podcasting… at least I don’t look like Wilford Brimley in his forties.”
  – Bryan, 05:23

• “Bring me someone that looks 112 years old. Wilford Brimley shows up at 17.”
  – Bryan, 01:13

• “Ayahuasca is calling me back… I should be in a shitty hotel room, your brains out, because you haven’t had solid food in 10 days…”
  – Bryan, 11:51 & 12:54

• “Abs are made in the kitchen, Chrissy, you’re right about that… you know what else is made in the kitchen? My half hard.”
  – Bryan, 23:41

• “This is all… horse, crushed up horse bones and… I did remember when I dated that, like, hippie chick who came into my world like a pig pen…”
  – Bryan, 40:57 & 41:28

• “[Frankie] cut a banana in half and then in half again… maybe this is a life hack I need to know about.”
  – Bryan, 43:33

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• 00:53–05:42 — Aging in the 1970s-80s vs. today; Wilford Brimley jokes.
• 10:15–13:58 — Ketamine therapy, ayahuasca, and influencer culture mockery (“Get ready with me for my ayahuasca ceremony”).
• 18:26–24:02 — Launching into the Frankie B video (Frankie’s wellness schtick).
• 23:41–46:57 — Step-by-step roast of Frankie’s “power breakfast” video.
• 51:07–51:38 — Frozen blueberries and “club girl” soundbite (episode title reference).
• 56:27–56:59 — Frankie’s inspirational closer: “We’re not dead, we’re just getting started”—followed by an ungraceful walk into his couch, ending the roast on a perfect high note.

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Tone and Language

The conversation is improvisational and irreverent—teeming with inside jokes, lewd asides, callback bits (Wilford Brimley, ayahuasca), and loving razzing of internet wellness types. Bryan is the more manic storyteller; Krissy is the chill, occasionally drier straight woman who cues Bryan’s bit explosions.

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In Summary—Why Listen?

If you enjoy unscripted, profane, self-aware comedy riffing on pop culture absurdities, wellness fads, and internet characters—and you want to hear two friends roast and support each other in equal measure—this episode delivers. You’ll walk away knowing far more than you cared to about frozen blueberries, but also grinning at the chaos.

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Transcript

[A]

If you have nothing nice to say.

[B]

About anybody, come sit by me. We shall drink whiskey out of teacups and talk shit about people. On this episode of the commercial break, two blueberries. That's why I like to stay right next to a 19 year old club girl. I just like to nibble on her every once in a while. Nothing fills me up like two blueberries. Three blueberries. Frozen. Nothing makes my Irish teeth even worse than rock hard frozen blueberries in my mouth.

[A]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[C]

Yeah, boy.

[B]

Aw, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Bambi to my thumper, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[D]

Yes, you right.

[B]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Yeah, Chrissy and I were just like taking a little break here and we were watching some videos on Instagram and one of the videos, Chrissy and I have been talking about this probably as long as the commercial break has been breaking down. Videos. Yeah, We've been talking about how people in the 80s, 70s, 80s, 60s, they just looked older. So I'm of a certain age and I'm not going to share that age, but I'm sure you could probably guess it if you go and listen to all 600 episodes. Oh, what was that? There we go.

[D]

And we're back.

[B]

Sorry about that. I think I hit the mute button. So if you go back and you listen, you could probably figure out that we're of a certain age. But we watch people on some of these videos from back in the 70s.

[D]

And 80s, like the love Connection.

[B]

Like the Love Connection. And they'll come out and they'll say they're 29 years old and they look 68 years old. They look terrible for their age. Terrible for their age. So we been talking about this forever for four or five years now. And people are putting comparison videos out there. Probably not because of anything we said. We don't have any listeners. But they were they showing how like Timothy shalama, he is 29 years old, he looks 19, he looks fantastic. Kid looks great. Handsome looking young man. But then they show Jason Alexander from when he was on Seinfeld at 29 years old. And Jason looks 58 years old. He, he's balding, he's got wrinkles, he's kind of chubby, you know, Jason, you know, great guy, but he just, that's, he looks how he looks. Yeah, there's Wilford Brimley, the Quaker Oats guy. You know what I'm talking About I don't need anything but Quaker Oats because Quaker oats is good for, you know, prudential life or whatever. He sells. He's selling something. The guy's always selling something, but it's always for old people. He's always selling something that old people need. Oats, life insurance, diapers. The guy hit when he started doing commercials. He was 16 years old. He just looked 112. Bring me someone that looks 112 years old. Wilford Brimley shows up at 17. He looks 112 years old. I don't know what happened, but we have aged much slower than our previous generation. Previous generations. I think it's a great thing. I mean, I look like I'm. I've heard people say I look like I'm in my 20s. 20s, yes. That's clearly not true. I'm not in my 20s. I'm in my early 30s. But regardless, I appreciate that. I'm just growing up a little bit slower, growing old a little bit slower than the generation before me.

[D]

Supplements and things that we keep buying.

[B]

I know good jeans are good. Docs don't know. It's probably all the plastic in the water. It's probably just mummifying us, right? I just read an article about how like, there's this group of scientists that have now committed to not drinking any more bottled water because on average they've been testing bottled water and on average, it doesn't matter what kind of bottled water you drink. There are a few exceptions to this, but the, you know, I'm not even going to name the names because they're probably advertisers with the show or something. Aquafina, you know who it is, right? All those mainstream bottled water companies. Big water. Those big water companies have an average a bottle does. Of 240,000 pieces of microplastics in each bottle and in each bottle, not a lifetime worth of drinking bottles. So I think we're just being. I think we're just plastic fantastic. I think that's what we're made.

[D]

Getting in the way. Yeah, that's what we're made of.

[B]

Yeah. Those cell phones and the plastic and everything. It's just mummifying us. We're basically looking great because we, we're terrible. We're just. Our. Our physiological bodies have broken down to a point where they can't age anymore because of all the. That we put in our bodies. But it's so true how cool quickly people aged back then and how slowly we're aging now. But of course, you know, just as. As early as the 1900, like the early 1900s, people only lived at the 42 years old. Average lifespan was 42 years old. So essentially you were 80 when you were 30. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[D]

So it looks like that. I mean, some of those pictures were shocking.

[B]

I know I got a lot to complain about. I feel like four years with a commercial break is like four years of being the president. That's how much I've aged. You know, Obama went in looking like, you know, slick and young and hot and sexy, and he came out with gray hair and old and walking with a cane. I mean, I feel like four years of the commercial break has aged me just as much as a presidential term has. I feel like the Joe Biden of podcasting.

[D]

Right now, you just need some Ray Bans.

[B]

I do. I do. I stumble around into walls and stuff. I'm. We're the same person, Joe. But at least I don't look like Wilford Brimley in his. Whatever I am forties. At least I'm not Wilford Brimley.

[D]

He was on a show, right?

[B]

Yeah, he was on a lot of shows. Wasn't he on that one? Good night, Meg. Good night, Peg. Good night.

[D]

I was gonna say Little House on the Prairie, but no, I guess it was.

[B]

That was John Landis. No, not John Landis.

[D]

No, it was heaven.

[B]

John Landon. Was it John Landon?

[D]

Michael Landon.

[B]

Michael Landon. That was it. Michael Landon. God, that show was terrible. I hated that show. I hated Little House on the. Something about that show gave me the willies, and I don't know what. Maybe it was the actual willie that was on the show.

[D]

It was kind of a creepy. I don't know.

[B]

But there was that other show that. It was just. When I was a kid, it was just.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Getting out of circulation. I think it's probably still being watched somewhere.

[D]

My grandmother used to say that.

[B]

Good night, Peg. Joe. Good night, Michael Doe. Good night, John. Good night, Peggy Sue. Good night, Reggae sue. That's the first 16 kids and counting right there. That show there was, like, 35 children. They always had some kind of problem. Didn't, like, John Boy have, like, a big birthmark on his head or something?

[D]

I didn't. I didn't watch the show.

[B]

I don't know. My mom used to watch it, but I didn't pay any attention to it because, you know, I was much more interested in He Man Pac Man. All the mans He Man Pac Man She Ra indeed.

[D]

I love to see Red, too.

[B]

The worried about the sexualization of. Of, you know, cartoons and children and stuff. Now go back to the 80s and check that out. Tell me, tell me what you think about Shira. I mean, that girl had tits. A plenty at Kardashian. Ass muscles everywhere. Yeah, I just think the people who. The artists who drew that were just perverts and they wanted to make someone that was sexy that they could look at.

[D]

I think so too.

[B]

I think so too. But at least it wasn't Wilford Brimley. At least you weren't Wilford Brimley. That's all I gotta say.

[D]

We'll just keep telling ourselves that. But at least we don't look like Wilford. Wilford Brimley.

[B]

Google Wilford Brimley, age 50 and tell me what you think about how. Just. I know you're putting it in the search, but tell me how old you think he looks. Remember he was in that movie Cocoon? Do you remember Cocoon? He was probably 26 when he did Cocoon.

[D]

He was playing.

[B]

He was playing a 70 year old. Yeah, they were playing up in age, not down in age. That's insane. That's insane. I know. By the way, speaking of Timothy Shalalalalala, maybe I saw Dune too, that I had been so excited to see. And best movie ever is what they said. You know, Best sci fi movie ever is what they said. Best movie of 2024 is what they said. I have to agree with him. I think it was a fantastic movie. Have you seen it?

[D]

No.

[B]

Oh God. It's on hbo. It's on hbo. Max plus, I know I keep seeing.

[D]

It all over, but I haven't seen the first one. So I feel like I need to watch the first one.

[B]

I don't think you need to watch the first one to understand the second one, but you are kind of jumping in the middle of the storyline. But I don't think it's a prerequisite. I think. I think you'll understand kind of what's going down. Regard. Or maybe you'll be totally confused. I don't know. I saw the first one.

[D]

We were watching that Stacks show. You told me.

[B]

Stacks? Yeah, Stack. Stacks records.

[D]

Yes, Stacks record.

[B]

Yeah. But while I was flipping through Instagram, what I wanted to share was that I'm now getting ads. Probably because we talked to so many guests about this. And then they are. My phone listens. Ads for teletherapy. Ketamine, Tele therapy. Ketamine. Now I have done ketamine. I don't consider it a party drug. I consider It a, let's, yeah, let's go into outer space for three hours and when we come back, I hope my dick's still on on my body. I mean that's an intense drug. It's an intense drug and I know you can microdose ketamine, it's all about the dosing and all that stuff. But back when I was, back when ketamine first came on the scene, there was nothing about the dosing whatsoever. Your uncles, brothers, cousins, rowdy stepchild stole it from the horse farm that they got because it was a horse tranquilizer. And then they, you know, whatever they did to a cure it, dry it, smoke it, sniff it, whatever, and it was terribly intense. I mean, terribly intense. This as a matter of fact, I watched a short documentary about the rave scene in the 90s and how in the late 90s it went from ecstasy, like the kind of ecstasy we used to get as kids into ketamine. And how the whole scene changed once people started doing the whole scene changed. It went from happy, vibrant, colorful into like dower, weird K hole type. And so I understand ketamine has therapeutic purposes. As a matter of fact, I know some people who have done ketamine therapy. I know one of the, I know a guy who was in the trials of ketamine therapy and so he was taking it long before it became fashionable to, to, to take it. So I know it has some therapeutic purposes.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

But I, I would probably think just, just my guess, I would probably believe in my heart I believe you should be around professionals and know how to handle you and know how to handle any situation that should or not Most situations that should come up during a ketamine trip. If you're going to take ketamine for your crippling depression, like that's not something you want to do at home by yourself in a corner. It's just not. So I find it really strange that some, through some loophole in the law, I, I get a tooth cracked out of my head and I get one Vicodin to go home with, you know what I'm saying? But I can buy ketamine online by talking to some quack doctor who believes it's okay that I take it at home by myself and hey, free virtual check ins. Yeah, listen, when I'm in a K hole I'm not going to know how to use my computer. I'm just sharing that with you. I'm not going to, you know how to use my fingers, let alone my computer. It's ridiculous. It's Insane. It's insane.

[D]

Yeah. I think it should be supervised for sure.

[B]

Have you done ketamine therapy? No.

[D]

Would you consider it, I guess, if I had crippling depression? I don't know.

[B]

I'll tell you right now. Ayahuasca is calling me. It's calling me back. Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I don't know why I'm just gonna share this with the audience because it's a very personal thing and that's exactly what you should do. Yeah. Ayahuasca is calling me back. I'm seeing a lot of content about people who are doing ayahuasca. I'm remembering my experiences with DMT and ayahuasca. And I am many years removed from my last ayahuasca. Kiss is what it was referred to back when, you know, back when Wilford Brimley was 20 and I got to share. I think ayahuasca is calling me back. I think I should.

[D]

There you go. It's a tool.

[B]

Yeah. But, you know, not like when I did it, you know, you would do it once, at least this is how I did it. You did it once and then you breathed for like six months to a year before you did it again.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Now all the rage is doing it like four or five nights in a row, which seems crazy.

[D]

The retreats.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you really gotta. You're really gonna be put through the ringer if you do it four or five nights in a row and then you're posting on Instagram about. It's the weirdest thing to me is everyone's posting on Instagram about it. Like, get. I saw this video. Get ready with me for my ayahuasca ceremony. Get ready with me for my ayahuasca ceremony.

[D]

What was. What did that involve?

[B]

Putting on a hair. You know, a hair tie and light makeup and making sure that. She said, they told us not to wear white. You know, they told us to wear comfortable white clothing. But I. I think I'm going to throw up all over myself. So I'm going to wear something dark. And it's like, you should not be doing this in front of a camera for Instagram. No, just don't do it, you know, comfortable shoes. She wanted to show us the designer, you know, mat that she got that she can lay on and her designer water bottle and her designer this.

[D]

With all the plastics in it.

[B]

Yeah, with all the plastics in it. And I thought to myself, you have completely missed the boat on this. You have. You completely misunderstand what's about to happen to you. And You. I appreciate that you want to share with everybody, and in some sense, it's good to get the information out there, and if you have a nice trip, maybe after a period of reflection, share what happened vocally. But to then film the entire process for your followers seems like you're missing a big piece of the preparation for this sacrament, essentially, which is what it is. Which is you should be in a hotel room, some shitty hotel room in some strange country, your brains out, because you haven't had solid food in 10 days, because that's what the ayahuasca diet calls for. And trembling in fear, that is how you prepare for ayahuasca. Not being on Instagram live, showing everybody your designer handbag that you're gonna throw up into later. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous.

[D]

But it's calling you.

[B]

It's calling me. Yeah, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to do it live here on the commercial break.

[D]

Maybe you should.

[B]

I don't think so. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because I'm gonna say things and scream things and do things that I just probably never want filmed. But that's the other thing. Also.

[D]

I'll guide. I'll guide you through it.

[B]

I'll be.

[D]

Oh, Sherpa.

[B]

You're gonna be my Sherpa. It doesn't really matter who my Sherpa is. I'm not gonna understand a word you say anyway. You can stand in front of me and wave your hands. I'm not gonna. I'm just gonna be making monkey noises. Don't worry about it.

[D]

People say it really helps. I think, you know, you should maybe experiment with different things to see what helps.

[B]

Well, for me personally, I've done it, and so I understand. At least my experience tells me that there's some message maybe that needs to be delivered. Okay, maybe that is. Stop the fucking podcasting and get a real job. Oh, no, that's my dad. Sorry. Right. That's not ayahuasca. That's my dad. Oh. That's also my wife. Oh. Most people in my life, our podcast network, is actually saying that also. You know how it goes, Chris.

[D]

No, we. We can't do that.

[B]

No, we. We're contractually up. We're in now. We're in now. We're in.

[D]

Two days on the train. Also, who's gonna hire you? But you could always go back to your real estate entrepreneurship.

[B]

Yeah, why not? I mean, it doesn't take anything except to Change your fucking LinkedIn profile. Everybody in Atlanta knows what that Means loser. Everybody else in the world will go, wow, guy must have money, power and fame and all that. But everybody in Atlanta be like, yeah, join the club. Join the club. Swear to God, everybody in Atlanta. Real estate entrepreneur. Yeah. But hey, listen, Atlanta is a great real estate town because it keeps growing. So there are people who can make money doing that. But as I have mentioned, mentioned before on this show, that is not me. I cannot make money doing real estate. I tried. I took a decade of my life and I tried desperately to make money in the real estate business. Yeah, I mean, I made money when I wasn't involved in the actual real estate part of the real estate business. When I was helping you do the real estate part of the real estate business, I was making money. But when I, you know, they say there's an old saying, you know, those who can't teach.

[D]

Right.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Those who can't teach, teach. I never was a teacher, but I was a conduit to equity, you know, funds and stuff like that. Yeah, I was a facilitator. But man, I'll tell you what, I got a bunch, I know a bunch of people who were real estate entrepreneurs at one point and then all of a sudden turned into coaches and I was like, well, I didn't, I don't think I ever saw them do one successful. Oh, yep. I didn't see them one do one successful deal. But now they have a patented 22 step process to make you millions of dollars in the Atlanta real estate market. Yeah. Come to the Atlanta Hilton. Airport. Airport. Hilton. Listen, when you have a free seminar at the Atlanta Airport hotel, I'm pretty sure you're not making money in the real estate business. And I'm pretty sure no one else who shows up to the airport hotel is going to make money in the real estate business either. I don't mean to blanket statement, but I'm 100% positive. I'm 100% positive this is true. When you walk into a hotel that hasn't been updated since 1952 and you have to stop every three minutes because a Delta 444 is flying 100ft over the hotel because there's too much noise, if you're probably not going to get anything out of it, but feel free. Go. It's on Facebook. Rsvp. Feel free. I'll tell you what, all right, it's Friday and because it's Friday, sometimes we. Yeah, it's Friday. What is Saturday? Everybody's working for the weekend now. Some in Atlanta Thinks it's funny every Friday to repost the Friday whistle from 96. Yeah, and I do appreciate it. I'm saying some, but I do appreciate it. But now every Friday, I know what I'm going to get. Three different people who used to work in Atlanta radio magically found the Friday Whistle. You found the Friday Whistle from the last. Who posted it last Friday for 17 Fridays in a row. It's no secret anymore. Friday whistle. It was a thing.

[D]

It was a thing.

[B]

Yeah. So it's Friday. We know you love Fridays. We love Fridays too. And so what we would like to do, as we do on most Fridays, is break down a video. I want to go back to familiar territory now, Chrissy, because it's been a while since we've heard from Frankie B.

[D]

It has. We figured he was probably, you know, with a. A lady friend.

[B]

Yeah, he's with the lady friend. We know when he's dating somebody.

[D]

When he goes dark.

[B]

Yeah, when he goes dark. When his girlfriend tells him, you better not post one of those dumb videos again because I don't want to be embarrassed. One time, all the dating content went away from his video channel and then two months later magically reappeared. And the only thing, the only video that appeared in that time was a video where we saw what we assumed was his girlfriend or the girl that he was dating at the time. And he did some travel review on some hotel, airport. Puerto Rico. Yeah, Mexico, something like that. Unbelievable. All right, so Frankie's back. And I can't say this is a newish video, but I've just been trying to give us a little space between Frankie videos. To be honest, I can't say this is a brand new video, but Frankie is telling us what we should be eating in our 50s and 60s. I noticed that his every video, he gets a little bit higher in age. He's like, you know, my videos are for guys in the 30s, 40s and 50s. And then it was 40s, 50s, and 60s. And now it's 60s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. Frankie's gonna tell us what he eats to put on muscle and stay clean. But you know what we have to do first we gotta pay some bills.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

Hopefully. So let's take a break and then we'll be back with Friday Frankie.

[D]

Friday Frankie on the commercial break.

[E]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4336. And you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok, CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[B]

All right. Okay, so I found this video. Popped up the last couple months. Frankie's going to tell us how we should be eating in our 50s and 60s to make sure we stay healthy and that we can achieve that muscular look we're looking for. So we're looking at a still shot of Frankie at the beginning of the video.

[D]

I have to say, he's looking good.

[B]

He's looking great. He looks like he lost some weight. His hair is pulled back. He got his follicle extensions all worked out.

[D]

His face has been needled.

[B]

His face has been needled. Microdermabrasion all over his eyeballs. And he does look good. He's in a new kitchen, I've noticed.

[D]

Oh, yeah, he is in a new place.

[B]

I guess his daughter kicked him out.

[D]

Well, I was gonna say, are he. Because the other places really seemed like a model apartment.

[B]

Yeah, like, you know, you go to the apartment complexes, you get a tour. You get a tour. Or they have that little kitchen in the, like the community loun or the community place or whatever, filled with water. Filled with water, yeah. That seemed like the last. The last couple places he filmed food related videos. Seemed like it was a setup, a studio of some kind. This looks like an actual home. And kind of sad. I don't know. I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm thinking kind of sad.

[D]

Are those awards on the wall?

[B]

Those are. Yeah. There's like awards. I don't think it's a degree. I'm going to guess that's not his repertoire. But he's got those sad, weird shades behind him. He's got a tiny little TV hanging out in his living room over there. Well, you know what? Whatever. Who cares?

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

I've lived in worse places. I lived in much worse places. All right, so without further ado, I was trolling on the Internet, as you do, as I do do. And here's Frankie telling us what to eat.

[A]

Published a video on what I feel is going to be the absolute best workout for A man in their 60s. What exactly do they need to do to build mus. Now, if you did not see that video, I'm gonna link it up right as this video is ending. It's gonna be here or here.

[D]

I'm not sure where he just pointed.

[B]

He just pointed to all four corners. He's like, here, here, here, here. I'm gonna link up this video right as this video is ending. I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen 30 minutes from now and expect you to remember. And then I'll point in every direction. I can't miss.

[A]

Gonna be. But if you are a man in your 60s and you want to have a great workout routine.

[B]

I'm not a man in my 60s. Wilford Brimley's not even in his 60s. Team.

[A]

That's gonna work. Check out that video. And as promised, in that video, I said that I would follow up with what I eat, because the two go hand in hand. You can't work out and eat like and expect results. It's harmony. It's cohesiveness. One does not work without.

[D]

Abs are made in the kitchen.

[B]

Abs are made in the kitchen. Chrissy, you're right about that. You know what else is made in the kitchen? My half hard. I got a half hearty. You want to see it? No. All right. We're in perfect harmony. My abs and my half hard.

[D]

No, he's. He's taking t. What's that? He's taking tea.

[B]

Oh, yeah. He's got low tea, high tea. I got all kind of tea. What kind of tea you need?

[D]

On another thing, he.

[B]

Black tea, green tea, low tea, high tea. Whatever you need, I got right here in this model kitchen.

[A]

So in today's video, I'm going to show you what I eat for breakfast. This is my power breakfast. This is a breakfast that's going to get power breakfast.

[B]

That's exactly what I think of. I wake up in the morning and I go, hey, Astrid, where's my power breakfast? And she says, you better get back in that bed before I divorce you. You better go back to that room. Not time for you to wake up yet. Whatever's going on. Whatever is going on here, take it over there, asshole.

[D]

Where's my power?

[B]

You need a power breakfast for another long day of not making money in the studio. Okay, no problem. Here's some Cheerios. Find some milk, bitch. Cream. Some cream. We can't afford cream. Water down this 2% milk. Pour some water. The kids need to eat power breakfast.

[A]

The macros, all the carbohydrates the fats and the protein.

[B]

The mackerels.

[D]

I don't know what the mackerels. What is a mackerel besides a fish?

[B]

I know what. I don't think they have mackerel in Chicago. I don't think they have Mac. Well, maybe they have mackerel in the Great Lake. I think those are ocean fishes. Aren't they mackerel? Do you know?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

I wish I knew again. I should have stayed in school. Stay in school, kids. Brush your teeth and stay in school.

[A]

That I need. So if you're ready, let's get into the video rocket.

[B]

Oh, wait, hold on. We're now getting started with the video. We've been doing this for seven minutes. Okay, whatever you want, Frank.

[D]

He's in his car.

[B]

Rock. He's in his car, rocking it. That is a pretty car. It is a pretty Jaguar. Yeah.

[D]

Is it?

[C]

Where is he?

[D]

Like, is that a basketball court?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. He's terrorizing some neighborhood. Thousand bucks. The cops came. Thousand bucks. He had to do that little. He does a little spin out. He's in this beautiful convertible. It's either a Corvette or a Jaguar. I know it sounds stupid that I'm saying that, but I can't tell which one it is because the car moves around too fast.

[D]

Slides.

[B]

Yeah. Plus, I don't know the first thing about cars. Yeah, it slides. He needs new tires because he spins out. He does like this donut and then spins out. Middle of the the day, traffic on the street. He just spins out and drives away. And I'm. I'm. I'm curious. What was that day like? I bet he had to take. Do that take at least four times. And I'm promise you, the cop showed up.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Fashion, lifestyle, fitness lifestyle.

[B]

Or as he says, lifestyle. And there's his former girlfriend I'm imagining.

[D]

In the bikini or somebody who just paid.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Was there at the beach.

[B]

Either way, good looking woman.

[D]

Yeah. And I don't know what that was supposed to signify.

[B]

Oh, he added this. He's now. He's now parasailing. He's added something to his intro. He's sailing into the ground. Look, the Ferro sale is not going up toward the beach. It's going down toward the. The fe. I think you're doing it wrong, Frankie. No. Fashion, fun. Parachuting. Oh.

[A]

What's going on? Gentlemen and any of the ladies that happen to be watching, if this is your first time here, my name is.

[B]

Any of the ladies that happen to Be kidnapped with their gentlemen.

[A]

Bernardo. I built this channel for all guys in their 50s and 60s who want to up their game.

[B]

We actually built this channel for guys in their 30s, 40s and 50s.

[D]

Originally.

[A]

Originally look and feel better about themselves in grooming, fitness, fashion and lifestyle. So before we get into the video, I'm going to ask you if you like it, if you find it.

[D]

I'm sorry about the parasite. It was going directly.

[B]

It was going directly down. You know, they start you off on the beach and then you kind of. You run a little bit and then float upwards. If you do that kind of parasailing, if you're not being, you know, jettisoned off the back of a fast moving boat. Well, he was going down, not up. He's going straight toward the beach.

[A]

Do me a favor, give the video a like and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss.

[B]

Subscribe. Subscribe with two S's.

[A]

My upcoming videos ID starts at 4.

[B]

Oh, he used the transition. Yeah, he used our transition. Noise, noise.

[A]

Stop stealing our 4am I'm an early riser. Get up.

[B]

Make my get up. Check my dick. See if I got a morning wood counted. A good day. If I do coffee.

[A]

And then the next step is to fuel my body. I fuel it with amino acids.

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

Now this energized me. This gets me rolling in the morning. And it's going to help fuel my workout. Then I'll fill a water bottle with the same product and then I'll sip this during my workout. So I'm continuously.

[D]

Wait, so he drinks that first and.

[B]

Then he has coffee first a coffee.

[D]

With the amino acids in there.

[B]

With the amino acids in there. Then. Then he takes additional amino acids for fuel for his workout. Then he makes a water bottle with more amino acids in it. I don't know about amino acids. I'm not like I look at my body. I've never worked out a day in my life. But I gotta imagine there's some limit to the amount of amino acids you should be taking every day. He's already recommended 7 servings of amino acids per morning.

[A]

Fueling my body with amino acids. Then naturally I get my workout in. Get home. And then it's breakfast time. Now, there's a lot of you out there, especially overweight guys or guys that want to cut body fat is probably a better idea to combine your breakfast and lunch together.

[B]

All right?

[A]

It's called fasting. Like your last meal may have been at 7, 7:30 the night before. And you're not going to eat lunch, lunch, breakfast till 12 o'. Clock.

[B]

Lunch, breakfast, also called brunch. I eat some chia seeds and some peanuts with more amino acids all those hours.

[A]

So that's a real good idea if you really want results quick. But me, I've got my body pretty.

[D]

Much to where I want it, of course.

[B]

Pretty much, he says. Pretty much.

[E]

Perfect.

[B]

I still have my dad yelling inside my head about how fat I am now. You look good, Frankie. I do have to give you that. I give you that. You look good. You look healthy and, and fit and very, very tan. You look like the back of my belt. You're looking good.

[A]

So I do eat three meals a day. Starving lunatic. I'm a starving lun when I get home from the gym because let's face it.

[D]

Picture of like ripping apart his shirt.

[C]

I didn't have the whole breakfast.

[B]

Get out of my way. I need breakfast, lunch, amino acids. Frankie gets a police escort from the gym to his house. Breakfast, lunch, a lot of energy.

[A]

And again, I'm gonna advise you to watch that video that I got linked up at the end of this one.

[B]

I'm gonna advise you to watch the video that's 15 minutes from now.

[A]

All right, this is real easy. This recipe is going to get you all the nutrients.

[B]

It looks real easy. You only have 26 ingredients. Everything for. Yeah, he's got a banana, flax seeds, chia seeds, whey protein, creatine, amino acids, oats, Nutella, water, salt, pepper. It sounds like a really simple recipe.

[D]

But at least I'm happy to see does not have the eggs out.

[B]

No, no eggs. No tuna. Tuna eggs. Tuna, eggs, tuna, eggs.

[A]

That's the protein in the carbs you need, especially after a workout. Let's roll.

[B]

Why do people put it. Yeah, why do people put an X and especially? I don't know. Especially. It's not especially. It's also not espresso, butcher blender.

[A]

I always start out with a scoop of oats or oatmeal.

[B]

Whatever you do, you know, terrible oats are for you. They're terrible for you. Did you know that?

[A]

Prefer.

[B]

They actually just made that up in my head.

[D]

Why are they.

[B]

No, I've been, I've been reading, watching a lot, reading a lot about oats. And apparently it's just not good for you. Like inflames parts of your body. And they gave, they were, they were saying that they gave 30 children. They did this controlled study. 30 children got fruits and vegetable. Fruit. Some kind of fruit and vegetable for breakfast. 30 children got oatmeal Oats of some kind. Rolled oats, whatever.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Those 30 children that got oats were hungry less than an hour later and went back for more food. And then the fruits and vegetables, kids didn't get hungry until. Yeah. And then they also, like, tested their glucose meter or something like that in their sugar was wildly high. I don't know. Oats are apparently not the best food in the world. Well, but, you know, I guess one scoop of it.

[A]

Yeah, I go scoop and a half.

[D]

Oh, right.

[A]

Like it a little bit thicker. That's very minimal amount of carbs. I don't. I don't like the carb up too much. Just a little bit. And then I got whey protein.

[B]

What's going on with his hair? Looks like he's.

[D]

Well, it's pulled back in a ponytail.

[B]

I know he needs to carve up on that hair. I think that's what needs to go on.

[D]

That's the largest thing of whey protein I've ever seen.

[B]

Thousand bucks. He goes through one of those every three days.

[D]

Oh, yeah?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Vanilla flavor. That's my favorite. It kind of goes good. It just goes.

[B]

It goes good. It goes all over your nipples.

[D]

Goes good.

[B]

It goes great. I like to put it on my condoms, inside my condoms. I put it everywhere. Really? Anywhere I look. I want whey protein.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Whey protein is bigger than his apartment. You know what I'm saying? It takes up 300 square feet of his apartment. I've never seen a whey protein box.

[D]

It's probably like a hundred dollars, too. And it does go through every three. Three days.

[B]

Buy that at Costco.

[A]

I'll do two scoops of that and two scoops of this. Protein powder is going to be 50 grams of protein. All right. I try to get protein 50 grams at least three times a day. Protein is very important.

[B]

Jeez, you got to be working out hardcore to make sure that that whey protein just doesn't stick to your gut.

[D]

Yeah, he is. He's rage raging.

[B]

Does he have new sideburns, too?

[D]

Well, it says new follicles.

[B]

Yeah, he looks good. He looks like he's about to do, like, a Leonard Skynyrd tribute band or something like that.

[A]

Especially if you're older. You need to build a muscle. And protein obviously builds muscle. Then I like to do turmeric now.

[B]

Turmeric.

[A]

It's a great.

[B]

It's not tumor rack. There's no a in turmeric. Turmeric. I like to do turmeric.

[D]

It goes good.

[B]

Yeah, it goes Great. I buy it at a discount store. See, it says turmeric, half fentanyl, half chopped up chia seeds.

[A]

I inflammatory. Let's face it, we're busting a gut in there. We need something to keep, you know, our bodies inflammation down. And this is one of nature's wonders.

[B]

We're busting a gut in there. Did he mean busting a nut in there or what's. What was that term? Oh, yeah, I'm sure he does.

[A]

It's really, really good for you. I'll throw a scoop of the turmeric in there.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And then.

[B]

All right, the next 17 ingredients. I'm already confused.

[D]

It's almost full.

[B]

Yeah, already. What else can you put in there?

[D]

I don't know. Creatine.

[B]

Oh, creatine. Pure ball semen.

[F]

Creatine. Mix that with 12 servings of amino acids and 50 pounds of whey protein seven times a day. I'm busting them all over you. Where's my power breakfast? I got turmeric, I got creopine, I got espressos. I like to drink more amino acids with my espressos. Especially.

[A]

A lot of you guys. Until you, you know, really research creatine, I suggest you don't do it. I take creatine.

[B]

Oh, I suggest you don't. I know.

[D]

Until you really research it.

[B]

What's wrong with creatine? I don't know. I think it. I think it is a little like, you know.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Pop you up a little bit.

[A]

I like, I like the way it, you know, recovers my body, and I just like the way I feel when I'm on it.

[B]

It gives your muscles when you're on it. What is, what's going on with creatine?

[D]

I don't know. We need to research it now.

[B]

No, I do remember when I went through my workout phase, which is like six months, but I went through my workout phase. That I do remember. Six months directly after my divorce. Oh, I had to get the next wife. You know what I'm saying? You got to. You got to get in shape. You want to look like a shiny car out in the lot, right? And I was. I was eating a lot of whey protein. I was eating a lot of, you know, very minimal carbs and all. Anyway, what I. What I wanted to say was I went to GNC one time and I asked about creatine, and the guy was like, ah, creatine is probably not for you. And I was like, why not? He said, well, you got to be. You want to be bulky, like you know, you really have to do, like, hardcore workouts for creatine to be your thing and give you a lot of extra energy if you don't know what to do with. And I just remember a small conversation about it. Never thought about it again. Now I'm thinking maybe creatine is like a natural cocaine. Because he just said, when I'm on it.

[A]

Yep, a little bit of a pump. A better pump. All right, then.

[B]

All right. My penis pump.

[D]

A better pump.

[F]

Creatine in my penis pump. Four separate servings of whey protein, lots of amino acids, a little bit of steroids. Blue pill, Chop it all up, put it in my hair follicles. Then I take a shower. I masturbate real hard. Chews all over the wall, clean myself off, go to sleep, do it again. That's how it works.

[A]

Then it's time for chia seeds. Now, chia seeds, good in fiber. I'll put in one fiber of the.

[B]

Chia seeds, good and fiber. I used to eat those as a kid. That was my favorite candy at Halloween. Good and fiber.

[D]

I know.

[A]

All right, in flaxseeds, omega 3s, I put another scoop, a tablespoon of the flaxseed. I really like this stuff.

[B]

So as he spills the flaxseeds all over the counter, I just love this. Where is Food Network when you need them? Where is Food Network when you need them? I'm surprised, too. Have you seen some of the Food Network's programming? All right, that's. Let's get back to this. We'll take a break, and then we'll come back with more. Frankie.

[E]

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on tick tock@tcb podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this, this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[B]

All right. And we're here with Frankie. We're here, back with Frankie. Okay, let's.

[D]

We're feeling as Pumped as he is.

[B]

Feeling as pumped as he is right now. One of our sponsors might have actually remitted a check to the commercial break. News we just received literally breaking news. Breaking news now. How much will they pay us? We don't know, but okay, something's happening. Good news is good news. We'll take it all over. All right, back to Frankie B. And his incredibly packed power breakfast here. All right, here we go.

[D]

Which actually, so far does not contain food.

[B]

No, there's zero food. There's zero edible products in here. This is all like, you know, horse crushed up horse bones and. Yeah, I don't. You know, I did remember when I dated that, like, hippie chick who came into my world like a. Like a pig pen, twirled in, left all her dirt and her dog, and then left without explanation. To be fair, I would have left me, too, but you could have wrote a note or something.

[D]

You did a nice couple of weeks of the juice cleanse.

[B]

Yeah. A text message 30 days later saying, hey, I'm with the Mexican drug cards. Trimming weed. Sorry about the breakup.

[D]

Can you take my dog?

[B]

Yeah, can you help me with my dog? Anyway, you remember that girl?

[D]

Yes, I do.

[B]

She used to make these kind of. Not with the protein, not like the workout related, but she would make like. Or organic. You know, we went on this juice cleanse.

[D]

I remember that.

[B]

Yes. And she.

[D]

I was like, oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, Chris. You don't know how many times I was sneaking off the Sonic or whatever.

[D]

It was so expensive.

[B]

It was terribly expensive. She signed us up for a 30 day juice cleanse from the local juice place. It was all about that. What's that? That's kale. Kale. Kale. Kale. Kale. Which now we know is just no better than parsley in any way, shape or form. Kale is not a wonder drug of any sort. And. And so there are these. All these shops popped up. Kale. Kale. Kale. Kale. Kale. We were going kale crazy here in Atlanta.

[D]

Yes, you were.

[B]

And so she. I met her. I said, yeah, why not? You know? You know, I'm enjoying the. The sex, so. Sure. Juice cleanse. Why not?

[D]

Yeah, let's do it.

[B]

Let's do it. It was $10 per juice that you would pick up three times a day from this place. That would make it three times a day. It was $20 a time. Every time she walked into that shop. $20. I was paying $60 a day to be terribly hungry and angry. And it didn't taste good. Okay.

[A]

What's left now?

[B]

Okay, what's left? That's what I imagine the kale people were saying. Thing. What else should we put in here? Let's put some ice cubes for some bulk. I don't know. You got any more kale? Let's put some more kale in there. Kale. Let's do this thing.

[D]

Now he's grabbing the banana.

[B]

At least he's got a banana. At least that's one thing.

[A]

Half a whole banana. It's too many calories. And, you know, there's sugars in a banana.

[D]

So I have this cutting that is cutting a banana. And in half.

[B]

He cut a banana in half and then in half again. He cut it long ways and then he caught it sideways. I've never seen that done. I'm gonna try that at home and see if it changes my life. I don't know. You know the life hacks on. On TikTok. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe this is a life hack I need to know about.

[A]

Cut it up a little bit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Throw the banana in there.

[B]

You're gonna put it into a blender. And why do you need to cut it up more? Are you not confident about your blender skills?

[D]

You mashed it inside the skin?

[B]

Yeah. That's weird.

[D]

And then put it in there.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, that's. Jenna, I found a guy for you. He's got mildly better food manners than the guy who made it.

[A]

All right, then it's pretty simple. Water.

[B]

Oh, the water with amino acids in it. More amino acids.

[A]

And then what I like to do, I like it thick and slushy. I like this to have a big, massive consistency to it.

[B]

Oh, I bet you do.

[F]

I like to literally drop pearls all over my gut. Gooey, long, stringy, jizzy, thick, jizz like substance.

[B]

I love it.

[F]

Put more creatine in it.

[A]

So then I'll also throw in just a handful of berries. So I'm getting. I'm getting my fruits. I'm getting.

[B]

Oh, those are frozen. Don't do that. Why would you do that, Frankie? First of all, don't. Don't put frozen. Well, okay, skip the frozen berries. If I was Frankie, I'd put that entire container of berries in there just to try and make it taste like something related to food.

[D]

I know my carbs.

[A]

Getting my protein. And then I also like to throw in a little bit of ice. Again, the ice is what's going to get it thicker.

[D]

He's filling things all over the place. There was a tom off. It just went flying he said the.

[B]

Ice is gonna make it thinner. I'm not sure he understands how ice works. Ice is gonna make it thicker. When I need to make my soups thicker at home, I throw in water, the universally known thickener of everything. Agua.

[A]

Or slushier. All right, it's really quick. I mean, this is.

[B]

No, it's not. You're 18 minutes in. Half the food's on the counter. Yeah. You put everything. The only thing is missing is the TV behind you. Throw that in too. Will it blend? Let's see.

[D]

I like it really thick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Literally two minutes. Where the hell is my top? Here it is.

[B]

Just a small little peek into a window of living with the real Frankie off camera.

[D]

I told you that the top went flight that it could. Where's my top?

[B]

Where the hell's my top?

[D]

I saw it do, like, the roll.

[B]

When you, like, kind of spin it off and it goes. Only it's a blender top, so it's got sharpness.

[D]

Of course he kept that in there. Where the hell is my.

[B]

Where's my ninja? I need my ninja.

[A]

All right, just put the top on.

[B]

Oh. Oh. You can't even put it ready to go. Then you're ready to go.

[A]

Don't overfill the cup, because what happens is it explodes all down the sides.

[B]

And it's a giant mess, as he's doing right now.

[D]

I knew it was too much.

[B]

Look at the top of his head. Is he totally bald or gone totally blonde?

[D]

I was going, I don't think he's gone blonde.

[B]

Is that. Is that bald?

[D]

I think it is, and I think that's why he's got his long hair. Now he's going, comb back. Yeah, he's got a combat thing.

[B]

The follicle treatment failed miserably. I noticed there was no follow up video to the follicle video. I was sure he was going to be proud of whatever the results were. I don't think so.

[A]

Whatever you do, don't overfill it. All right, Blend it up.

[B]

Oh, do we really need to listen to that? No. Okay, then we're done.

[D]

And then we're done.

[B]

Yeah. The weight. No wonder you're ravenously hungry. It takes you two hours to make that breakfast. I could have literally learned how to be a waffle House chef in less time. I could have made you a double bubble bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. It would have been much more tasty.

[A]

How heavy this drink feels. It's super heavy. That's why you're definitely full. Like, I'm full. After I eat this.

[B]

So there you go, eating it with a spoon.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Oh God. Yeah, you need an etiquette class too, Frankie. Don't eat with a spoon. Put it in a cup, get a straw. Like a human being.

[A]

The consistency is really nice in there.

[B]

Yeah, it's got a nice jizz like consistency. Perfect.

[A]

Do you think it.

[B]

Perfect. Okay.

[D]

All of a sudden he transitions to.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, well, first of all, he transitions.

[B]

It's this. He's in the exact same place he was before, but now it's 10 times brighter. So he obviously put a light behind it. Like he, he actually put a light behind himself. And now he's got a knapsack. The kind of knapsack that 13 year old girls wear around Disney or you.

[D]

Get for free at like a conference at every conference.

[B]

And you never want it. But everyone's carrying them around and two people are. Some people are really excited about it and other people know what a burden it's going to be for the rest of the day. But don't be a dick and leave it somewhere. So I got to carry it around with all these promo materials that I'm never going to ever, ever look at.

[A]

Might like this breakfast. And I highly suggest that you try this. But you know, you're the guy that when you go to the gym, then you go straight to work. So you don't have time to do this. Simple solution.

[D]

Wake up at 2am simple solution.

[B]

I take all of these ingredients with me.

[D]

Oh, that's gonna be his little sack.

[B]

Yeah, that's a sack full of materials. Amino acids, lots of creatine, extra whey.

[F]

Powder, extra protein for your manch.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Dropping loads. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Lots of times I'm in the gym by five and I'm at the golf course by seven.

[B]

The gym by five and the golf course by seven. How well are these? How well is Salon Su doing?

[D]

It's just, it sells itself.

[B]

I know, but he's living in a 900 square foot apartment and a building built in 1952. I mean, I get it. You're driving around like a classic Jaguar. You've got a nice watch. I really want to know what the financials are behind this salon Sweeze, because I'm sure it cannot make money.

[A]

You can't make this right. When I get up and I got myself a little cooler bag, I put it in the cooler bag with an ice pack, then I can have it at any time I want. So there's no excuse use.

[B]

You're like one of those Mormon moms. Giving tick tock tips on how to make your kids snackables.

[A]

Have this and then, you know, snacks. All right. You know, before we get into lunch and dinner snacks.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Lunch and dinner snacks. He's gonna go for more berries. Good.

[A]

I. I love blueberries. I keep them in the freezer. Every time I walk near that door, I'll just reach in and grab some frozen blueberries. It's a good healthy snack. I don't eat a lot, but.

[C]

No. Leave us alone, Frankie. You've already killed us by putting us in the freezer. Now you're grabbing us one by one like little tiny hostages. You're gonna mix us with all that creatine powder. We're gonna go crazy. Super berries. Go back to your follicles, Frankie.

[A]

Let's face it. We all need something to nibble on throughout the day. And yes, we are all going to do it.

[D]

That'll really fill you up. Two. Two blueberries.

[B]

That's why I like to stay right next to a 19 year old club girl. I just like to nibble on her every once in a while.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just.

[B]

Nothing fills me up like two blueberries. Read blueberries frozen. Nothing makes my Irish teeth even worse than rock hard frozen blueberries in my mouth.

[A]

Addicted to.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And it's super low in carbs. There's a little bit of carbs in there. It's hummus. Hummus. If you haven't tried hummus, you've got to try it. Just get the plain hummus and then I get everything but the bagel seasoning. Load that up on there. And then I'll cut up a pepper. It could be an orange, it could be a yellow, could be a red. A green. I actually do a combination of all.

[B]

You're crazy, man. You're crazy. Stop talking all that crazy. Red and green mixed together.

[A]

Peppers.

[B]

You never know what to expect with Frankie.

[A]

Cut them up. Keep everything in the refrigerator. And when I'm hungry, in between meals instead of grabbing a bag of chips, which I do not keep in the house because if they're here, I'll eat them. You know, even if you see my.

[B]

Freezer, you least he's being human. At least he's being human. The rest of this is just Superman talking down to us. But at least he admitted he is a human being.

[A]

But you would die. There's nothing in there. I shot for each meal each day. I don't. I don't keep any junk in here because temptation is evil. A few snacks. Lunch. Lunch.

[B]

I wonder what his thoughts are on God. Like, is he religious?

[C]

This.

[D]

I mean, he never mentions it.

[B]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. There is going to come a time when Frankie will be invited to the show. Whether or not he comes is up to him, obviously. You know, I know he knows about us. I know it because you guys keep leaving YouTube comments on his channel. So someday I'm sure our paths will cross. And I have so many questions for you.

[D]

Oh, yeah, here, let me put it in the notebook.

[B]

Yeah, I really want to know what beliefs are on God.

[A]

Very basic. Turkey. I do carb free bread. Fat free mayonnaise pickles.

[B]

Yum, yum. Sounds delicious. Yeah, fat free mayonnaise is just as bad as fat full mayonnaise. Just to let you know.

[D]

Sounds super sustainable. Yeah, I can day after day after day. Carb free bread.

[B]

Yeah, carb free bread. Carb free bread. I didn't know that was a thing, but it doesn't sound good.

[A]

Lettuce, tomatoes. Okay, one sandwich. I'm gonna take another half a scoop of my whey protein. I'll have that for lunch. And then another skin salmon in a vegetable. And then sometimes I. I'm craving food. You know, like around 8 or 9.

[D]

O', clock, like a normal person.

[B]

I'm craving humanity.

[D]

Craving food.

[C]

Don't do it, Frankie. Just grab a couple more of us. We're real food. Real frozen berries that'll sustain you for life. Remember Tom Hanks in Castaway? He survived on only coconuts. You can do it, Frankie.

[A]

Grabbing garbage. I'll make myself another protein shake. I'll just put two scoops of protein.

[D]

Let's keep going.

[A]

Protein shake.

[D]

Protein shake.

[B]

Protein shake. Protein shake. Protein shake. To any other human being that has a job and actual responsibilities, not the golf course and the gym. You're just gonna get fat as drinking nothing but protein shakes.

[A]

Water. Blend it. It's like an ice cream tree, only no.

[B]

No, it's not.

[D]

It's not.

[B]

No, I've had it. I ate a lot of. I did a lot of protein shakes in my six months of working out. And I'm telling you right now, it almost tastes edible. That's all I gotta say. Almost. But certainly not like ice cream. Good for you.

[A]

And it's helping us older guys build muscle. All right, so that's my routine. It's up. That's it for in the gym by five. Then you start your day, pack your healthy breakfast on the way to work or to whatever you're doing. Don't go to McDonald's. Don't go to Dunkin Donuts.

[B]

All right. Okay.

[A]

You gotta get used to a new routine. Try this. Try my routine. Always remember.

[B]

Yeah. If you're going to dunkin donuts and McDonald's for breakfast, you're not watching. This is not the routine you're going to get. You're gonna try. You're gonna maybe try it for.

[D]

Yeah, like, one day. Yeah.

[B]

I don't even think that much. I think what you're going to do is you're going to put one scoop of protein and then a bunch of Nutella and some bananas and some old pancakes in there and make yourself a nice ice cream soda. No way. You try this. No way.

[A]

One thing, guys in our 50s and 60s, we're not dead. We're just getting started.

[B]

Where's he walking? He just walked right into the couch. He turned around, gave this weird look to the camera, and then literally just walked into the couch. He couldn't even edit it. He couldn't edit out him walking into his own couch. He tried to do something cool. He knocked into the couch. Unbelievable. Frankie. Frankie, I love you, buddy. I love you.

[D]

I know.

[B]

Chef's kiss. Chef's kiss. The Frankie for another fantastic video. Honestly, I love this.

[D]

Spin around and directly to the couch.

[B]

Yes. Oh, God. I want to be Frankie for a day. To be Frankie for a day.

[D]

It would be fun.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'd like to do. If we could, like in some alternate universe, I imagine that we're all friends. Like Frankie and I are friends. And he goes along with the joke and he loves it.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it's fun for him, too. And then I say, let me be you for a day. You be me for a day. Write down everything you do from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed. I'll write down everything I do from the time I wake up and go to bed. We'll switch locations. I'll go to Chicago, the greater Chicagoland area. You come down to George, Georgia, and then we'll just switch lives for a day.

[D]

I like it.

[B]

He'll do a whole episode of the commercial break with you, Chrissy.

[D]

I love it.

[B]

We'll film it all for posterity's sake. It's going to be great. But that probably ain't going to happen. Sounds like too much effort. Plus, I have children, and I do not think my wife wants to spend the day with Frank and baby, no matter how friendly we are.

[C]

Where's my power breakfast?

[B]

Power breakfast. Okay, here's what you do. You go to the website because that's where all the important information is. All of our guest show notes, the links to all their like Wendy McClendon Covey who was with us this week and we love, love, love her kiss. Chef's kiss to Wendy. We love her. My crush on her has not died one bit. However, she is married and I am married. So it probably won't work out in this spin around the universe universe. But maybe next time, Wendy. Maybe next time. But go check out her episode and then go check out all the things that she's up to next week. Joe Dombrowski, who we we just love and we can't wait for him to be in here.

[D]

Wait to talk to him.

[B]

Yeah, can't wait to talk to Joe Dombrowski, the Internet and comic sensation. Chrissy, if you don't mind. Yes, he is. So you go to the website, get all that information. You can also get your free TCV sticker by hitting the contact us button. Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address, we'll send you a sticker. No charge. That's what free means. We don't charge you. We charge us, but we don't charge you. TCB. OH 212-4333 TCB. 212-4333 TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas? Or if you would like to be on the show, let us know through that text message line at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break like. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[D]

I think so.

[B]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[D]

I love you.

[B]

I'll say best to you, best to you. Best you out there on the podcast universe, including Frankie. Until next time. We always say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[C]

Sam.