Two Eager Beavers

Summary

The Commercial Break — “Two Eager Beavers” (April 22, 2026)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this lively, freewheeling episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy bring their signature chaotic banter to topics ranging from beavers (the furry, dam-building kind) and Manhattan misadventures, to the hypocrisy of public figures, the evolution (and commodification) of music festivals, and the absurdities of modern tech. With plenty of laughs, self-deprecation, and unscripted honesty, this episode feels like dropping in on two longtime friends as they riff on the weirdness of daily life—with some sharp social commentary and outright silliness along the way.

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Main Themes & Key Segments

1. Eager Beavers & Earth Day

[00:08], [35:07], [36:30], [38:02]

• The episode starts with a tongue-in-cheek homage to beavers in recognition of Earth Day, including their environmental importance and status as misunderstood (and near-threatened) creatures.
• Bryan and Krissy share personal anecdotes about beavers, including the trouble they’ve caused Bryan’s dad at the lake:

  “Beavers can be destructive to human projects. Right. Like my dad's boat dock.” — Bryan [00:08]

• Krissy advocates for the beavers’ survival:

  “We're the ones that have kind of encroached on their homes.” — Krissy [00:17]

• The segment features lighthearted calls to action:

  “If you should run into a beaver, be nice to the beaver. Save the beavers. Invite them to parties. Check in on your friend, your local beaver.” — Bryan [38:02]

• Bryan jokes about being paid by beavers for these endorsements:

  “We're not paid by any beavers to make this statement, by the way.” — Bryan [00:38], [36:30]

2. New York Tales — Soho, Bike Crashes, and Urban Chaos

[02:01], [05:22], [06:11], [09:01], [10:11]

• Bryan discusses his recent work trips to NYC and the oddities (and dangers) of city life, especially in Soho.
• Notable stories include watching a cyclist crash into a cab door (“He must have flown in the air…”) and a car driving headlong into a highway divider—then improbably backing up and driving away:

  “New York is wild.” — Bryan’s Russian Uber driver [13:04]

• Comparisons between NYC and Atlanta driving, describing both as lawless:

  “There is no green, no yellow or no red. You look out, your head is on a fucking swivel.” — Bryan [06:30]

• A rant about the ever-present weed smell in Atlanta and NYC:

  “They must have smell-elators in Atlanta that just put weed smell into the air.” — Bryan [15:27]

3. Soho Shopping & Exclusivity

[16:53], [17:10], [17:34]

• Bryan tries to shop at Stussy in Soho but gets turned away for not having an invitation—then is shocked by sticker prices elsewhere:

  “$700 for a shirt. I'll go to TJ Maxx.” — Bryan [18:52]

4. Friendship, Ball Busting, & Podcast Chemistry

[21:13], [21:18]

• Reflections on the value of friends who “bust your balls”—and the podcast’s own irreverent, long-standing rapport:

  “The sign of a great friendship that's going to last for eternity is someone’s ability to call you on your bullshit…even though they are clearly hurting your sensitive little feelings.” — Bryan [21:23]

5. Pop Culture Deep-Dives & Absurdities

a. Streaming TV Obsessions

[01:30], [03:50]

• Bryan and Krissy discuss the wild Irish sitcom “Bridget & Eamon” on Amazon Prime.

  “You’re gonna put subtitles on because that Irish accent is thick.” — Bryan [04:42]

b. “God Forbid” and Evangelical Scandals

[26:00], [27:44], [29:13]

• Review and spicy rundown of the Hulu doc “God Forbid,” about the Falwell scandal and its strange link to Trump’s 2016 campaign.

  “It is wild how these two worlds intersect. All because of a little cuck, cuck on you.” — Bryan [27:47]

6. Modern Tech Weirdness

[56:26]

• Discussion of Meta AR glasses and the unnerving potential for facial recognition in public:

  “He was walking around identifying people by name through their LinkedIn, through their Facebook…these people were freaked out.” — Bryan [56:56]

7. The Evolution & Irony of Music Festivals

[50:03], [53:01]

• Discussion on how festivals like Coachella and Bonnaroo transformed from affordable, idealistic music events to expensive, influencer-dominated extravaganzas:

  “$27 for a grilled cheese. They have a caviar burger that's a hundred and eighty dollars.” — Bryan [50:38]

• Regret over the loss of authenticity:

  “All good ideas or movements in the United States…turn into grifts, cults, or otherwise bastardized versions of themselves.” — Bryan [52:53]

Memorable Festival Anecdotes

• Bryan recalls ditching Bonnaroo early to see his girlfriend, much to Krissy’s chagrin:

  “You left and took my car in the middle of the Radiohead performance.” — Krissy [54:24]

8. The Mobile Phone Dilemma

[55:28], [59:57]

• Venting about people filming entire concerts on phones, robbing themselves (and everyone else) of the experience:

  “There can be a moment unbastardized by watching it through your goddamn hand with your cell phone out there.” — Bryan [57:25]

• Praises for artists who use locked phone bags; shares experience seeing Chris Rock’s post-slap set in Atlanta.

  “You talk to the person next to you, and then you’re listening to the vibe in the crowd…” — Bryan [60:09]

9. Political & Social Satire

[27:26], [32:25], [44:27], [65:32]

• Lampooning of the Trump administration’s revolving door, palace intrigue, and personal enrichment schemes.
• Deadpan about the absurdity of the FBI Director allegedly partying in Italy; more generally, incisive but comedic takes on the state of U.S. politics:

  “Right now there’s a bunch of drunks and cuckolders pretending... It’s like they stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.” — Bryan [65:32]

• Bryan’s purposely “equal opportunity” cynicism is called out:

  “I would say this about any Democrat or libertarian or whatever, too…But I just wish...it was a little less obvious, let’s put it that way.” — Bryan [65:34]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “All because of a little cuck, cuck on you.” — Bryan [27:47]
• “I was saving the beavers!” — Bryan [58:57]
• On New York: “Your head is on a fucking swivel.” — Bryan [06:30]
• On weed in Atlanta: “They must have smell-elators in Atlanta that just put weed smell into the air.” — Bryan [15:27]
• On Coachella: “$27 for a grilled cheese. They have a caviar burger that's a hundred and eighty dollars.” — Bryan [50:38]
• On concerts & phones: “There can be a moment unbastardized by watching it through your goddamn hand.” — Bryan [57:25]
• On FBI Director abroad: “Pounding beers in the locker room... Not a good thing.” — Bryan [44:27]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Beaver/Earth Day Segment: [00:08], [35:07], [36:30], [38:02]
• NYC Anecdotes: [05:22]–[15:00]
• Stussy Shopping Fail: [16:53]–[18:53]
• Friendship/Ball Busting: [21:13]–[21:23]
• God Forbid doc review: [26:00]–[32:04]
• Politics & Situation Room Rumors: [32:25]–[34:13]
• Festival Rant: [50:03]–[54:51]
• Cell Phone Rant & Chris Rock Show: [55:28]–[61:23]

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Tone & Style

Playful, irreverent, self-aware, and teeming with banter and sharp wit. The show is intentionally loose, blending current events, pop culture, and personal stories with sarcasm, offbeat analogies, and comic exaggeration. Bryan and Krissy display easy chemistry and a knack for riffing into unexpected places.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode is a rollercoaster mix of improv comedy, cultural story-swapping, pointed satire, and inside jokes. While there’s an underlying nod to conservation (save the beavers!), the real joy comes from witnessing Bryan and Krissy’s rapport as they spiral through modern absurdities—from high-end hypebeast shopping and wild festival inflation, to the moral contortions of public figures and real-life encounters with urban chaos. As always, The Commercial Break makes the everyday weird, wild, and worth a laugh—or several.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, beavers that can be destructive to human projects. Right. Like my dad's boat dock. Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was gonna say, like we're the ones that have kind of encroached on their homes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, somebody said it. Now for the beaver segment, right? Exactly. There's no easy transition into the beaver segment. I just gotta talk about it. But beavers are important. So we're asking you to take a moment and think about the beaver. We're not paid by any beavers to make this statement, by the way.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You know what? I do have to say. I do. I went up to the mountains last fall and at night the beavers were out there doing their thing, splashing around, splashing around, making their little homes and stuff. And I really enjoyed it.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy loves the beavers.

[Rachel]

I do.

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Guest Performer / Singer]

2:30 in the morning.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. I sound a little weird. Do I sound a little weird on the microphone today? No. Okay, maybe it's just me getting used to my voice again.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We're going to have to get used to this choppy changey schedule.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

My hair's choppy. Changi, have you ever seen the. God damn it. What's the name of that show? It's an Irish show. It's. It's Iman and Iman and you've never seen it. You've never seen it. You've never seen it. It's an Irish comedy show and it's got. It is the most ridiculous, insane show about a couple in the 1980s in Ireland and hold on, is it a

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

show from the 1980s or it's current?

[Brian Green]

It's current. Well, I say like 2012 or something. Motherfucker. God damn it. I wish. Why am I bad at this? Why am I so bad at this? Why can't my brain work? I do have a million things to think about. That's got God damn right about that, Chrissy. And been in New York for the last couple of days.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, you have.

[Brian Green]

Which has been exciting. I'll be up there probably more often than I would like to admit. Oh, I'll find the name of the show and I'll give it to you. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

On your Brit box?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, my Brit box. Yeah, it's on. It's on Amazon prime. And, man, is it the funniest. It's wild. It is a wild, insane show. And I found it, you know, like, I find all these shows. It just, like, popped up somewhere on. Deep in my search engine on prime. And I was like, oh, okay, let me watch that. And these two are just. They're constantly smoking cigarettes and trying to assault each other. It's the funniest fucking show.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And she's always saying, job with popping up. Stuff that you like to watch.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it does. It knows. It knows my taste. Which is the dumbest television shows you've ever seen. Give that to Brian.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Serve that to him.

[Brian Green]

Serve that to him. The shows nobody else watches, apparently it was very popular in. In Ireland. Yeah, this show was very popular. It's a channel. Channel four show where they. Where I first saw Dating Naked or.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right, right, right, Whatever.

[Brian Green]

That show was in the news.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What was the name of that show?

[Brian Green]

But that was wild.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That show is so crazy.

[Brian Green]

I think we almost sent Christina into a. Into court to sue us.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Because they show it all.

[Brian Green]

They do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And the host, that woman, I mean, she's hilarious.

[Brian Green]

Bridget and Iman.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Bridget and Iman is the name of the show.

[Brian Green]

Bridget, yes. And. And Eamon. Bridget and Eamon is the name of the show. You can find it on Prime. It's got four seasons. It is four seasons.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Says a lot.

[Brian Green]

It does say a lot.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because if you get a British show or a show on one of those channels over there in the UK and it lasts more than two seasons, you're really doing something really good. Because they have, like, a strict rule, nothing after four seasons unless it's like, the most. At the absolutely best. They do have shows that last, like, 12, 15, 20 seasons, but they're either those mega soap operas that have been going on for years. Like, I forget what one of them is called. Like, you know, the west side or something like that. And it's been going on for years. It's a soap opera. That's what it is. Or Perot. Perot, that's right. The shows that your dad watches, the shows that your mom watches, claim she understands that she. She doesn't really understand Bridget Neiman. Watch that show. I promise you, you're gonna put subtitles on because that Irish accent is thick, but I promise you, you're gonna go, what the fuck is going on in this show? And she's always Saying, do you like my hair? It's choppy changey.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And that's it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, choppy changey. So. So I'm spending time in New York and that's why the inconsistent choppy changey nature of the stream.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. You're working on a new project.

[Brian Green]

Yes, working on a new project. We'll get more into that later on down the road. But that doesn't mean anything for here. Doesn't doesn stop doing the commercial break. It just means the schedule is going to be a little up in the air from week to week. But I went to New York and wow. New York is just a different place. It's just a different place.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And I love New York.

[Brian Green]

I do too. I love it. You know, I don't think I necessarily like. I don't think it'd be my first choice of places to live with children if I was back in my 20s or early 30s.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The time to go.

[Brian Green]

That's the time to go. Yeah. And if you want to live anywhere in the city, you better be a millionaire because there's, there's nothing affordable. Yeah. And so the place where I'm working is in. This is in soho, which is one fancy. That's all you got to say. It is. It is a premier address and a premier location and it's right next to, you know, like the New York Fashion Institute, all this stuff. So it's just young, beautiful people running around and then.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

With tons of money.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, with tons of money. And then Brian. Well, I don't think they all have tons of money. I think they come to soho for the day and then they leave at night. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

The best time in soho, I've learned in my short time there. The best time in Soho is like 7:30 in the morning because there's very few people on the street. There's a crispness to the air. It's beautiful. You can see it kind of unmolested from all of these human beings. This like sea of human beings that's constantly around you. It's very lovely, very lovely.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you know, spring in New York is beautiful, gorgeous.

[Brian Green]

I love it. But it's a wild place. In the course of 48 hours, I saw the following. You ready for this? I mean, I see it. You see a lot of stuff in New York and some stuff you just have to turn your head and just go, I don't know what the fuck is going on there. But there's, there's. I'm standing on the street, taking a phone Call. And they have bike lanes everywhere. A lot of bikers, a lot of bikers in New York. I don't know how they do it. I don't know why they do it. Yeah, Fast. And they have those city bikes. The rent a bikes. The city rent a bike that every fucking moron and their mother is on. You know what I'm saying? They think, oh, I'll see the city by bike. Yeah, that's great. Except you have to see the city by bike and deal with New York drivers who don't care. They don't have any. There is no rules. It's like driving in Mexico City. There are no stop signs, there are no stoplights. There is no green, no yellow or no red. You look out, your head is on a fucking swivel. And having driven there now, I can tell you that those people are. I mean, Atlanta is good proving grounds for driving in New York because we drive the same here in Atlanta.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's no holds.

[Brian Green]

Wow, is it wild down in the middle of that city. So I'm standing there on a side street, not one of the major thoroughfares. Side street, one way street. I'm standing there, bike lane. I'm standing on the sidewalk on the, on the side of the bike lane on the right hand side of the street. And I'm just talking on the phone and all of the sudden I hear. And I, I can hear this guy go boom. Thud on the ground. I swivel around really quickly and a guy who was on a city bike just had just driven by me at like 20 miles per hour was on the ground. Bloodied. Bloodied. Bloodied. And there was like a cab door that was like half open and crumpled. I mean, the guy hit the cab door so hard it caused major damage to the door. So meet on riding down the bike lane, meets on opening the door in a cab. And then you get into a cab. In New York, they have videos playing, you know, the back of the seat and the video says twist and turn to save a life. That's the, it's like a campaign they keep running in these. I must have heard it 30 times in an hour to JFK, right? And it was showing you how to twist and turn and look before you open the door. Why? Because exactly why. What I saw is some guy just went straight into the fucking door on a bike. And he. I don't, I don't know because I didn't see it, but he was a good 15ft from the door on the ground. He must have flown in the Air. Yeah. So you know, there's a bunch of people rush over.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

I called 91 1. Even the people on. Even the, Even the people at the dispatch have a New York attitude. Slow down, slow down. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, this guy just, you know, I'm trying to be as calm as I can, right? And I'm like, yeah, I'm here on

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

this street and I'm sure your adrenaline's going. You just saw that happen.

[Brian Green]

God, yeah. And he. And I'm like, listen, he's bloody, but, you know, he's, he's, he's alert and awake. Slow down, slow down. Let me get the information before you keep going. And I'm like, okay, asshole. I'm trying to tell you the guy's okay. Yeah. You don't descend the coroner. Okay. That's what I'm trying to get.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

You know, and it was. But anyway, so one. Okay, 24 hours later or. No, same day. Excuse me, Same day. I'm. Later on that evening, I'm in a cab. I'm on my way to JFK. We're on whatever fucking turnpike in. This is the seventh level of hell in New York. At 5:30 at night. It took me two hours to get to the airport. Two fucking hours. From SoHo to JFK, by the way, that's like 17 miles. It's not, it's not on the other side of Earth. It's 17 miles. But the traffic is so bad, I could have walked there in less time. I was so frustrated, I almost missed my flight.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Anyway, same flight that was delayed.

[Brian Green]

The same flight that was delayed for two hours. I was sitting on the tarmac.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's the worst.

[Brian Green]

Next to a guy was like this. On the seat, sprawled out. There should be a fucking rule about sitting in the middle seat. I understand. You're going to need your elbows there. I get it. When you're on the aisle, you can go like this. When you're on the window, you can go like this. But you don't put your hands like this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, you don't go. You don't cross.

[Brian Green]

No, you don't cross the line of demarcation. He had his hand like on my thigh. And I'm like, dude, dude, honestly. And he's like watching these weird, like African preachers on his, on his YouTube. Like, I think the guy was from Africa, real Africa, and he was watching weird African preachers, You know the kind that are like, pray the gay away, they lick the anus.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I know. It's funny.

[Brian Green]

Have you seen these guys?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I haven't seen that. But it's funny to see what other people are watching on a plane.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they lick the poo poo. They lick the poo poo. They lick the anus. Homosexuals, you know, they're like super weird about that shit. And he was watching one of these guys, but now with his earphones and with his earphones out and I have my earphones in and I'm like, this is fucking obnoxious. Like, great. I didn't even understand what the guy was saying, but I could already tell. I was not into it. Whatever he was preaching, I was not into it. And the guy's like this, like, just hanging his arms on my thigh. I'm like, dude, I don't know about where you come from, but where we come from, we hate touching other people. Just put your hands here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, no. That's a no. No.

[Brian Green]

So I'm on my way to the airport. We're sitting in this terrible traffic. It's going nowhere fast. And on one side and on the other side, you know, and there is a. As we're on the other side of the median, there is two highways dividing and you know, two highways divide. They put that big metal thing in the middle, you know, there's a fork in the road, right? And then the traffic safety people put a big metal thing there with these big water filled canisters or foam filled canisters in case you should hit it. Assuming that you hit it. It's a soft, softer landing. Still not going to be pleasant, but it's a softer landing. At least you don't hit the concrete wall. I am sitting there listening to the Twist and Turn video and I am watching all the cars drive by, wondering if I. Why we're not on that side of the street, right? And I watch a old Ford Celica or something just go directly in the middle. Just he. It was as if he was in a lane and he, he thought that was the way. He took no pause, no pause whatsoever. He just ran right into the. That metal thing square in the middle of his car. Airbag deploys, you know, I watched the whole thing happen. The guy's, you know, in the air. His car is crumpled. His. His engine is crumpled. You can see his engine. His hood is way up. The windshields crashed out. It's just a mess. And me and the taxi driver are like, oh, shit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The Uber driver, like, oh, shit. You know, Hope that guy's okay. Oh, my God. And as we're Crawling up, because it's good. We're going inch by inch as we're crawling up. We watch as the airbag deflates, and the guy's got his window down, airbag deflates. And the guy's got this long, like, wavy hair. And he's, like, doing this with his hair. And he's waving out the window like this. Like, waving out the window like this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like, he's okay, I think.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think I'm okay. I'm okay. Backs the car up. What, and drives back onto the highway? No, no, he drove back onto the highway. It was wild. Me and this Uber driver. I'm pretty sure English wasn't his first language. He was like, Russian or something. We were just like, wow. Wow. Yeah. He goes. And this is the only words that he said to me that I could understand. The entire ride, there wasn't lot of talking. He goes, new York is wild. I was like, ain't right, dude. That is crazy. That guy just got into a major car accident. There's no way he walked away from that on skate. He broke a leg or something. I'm sure of it. Yeah, the. The metal thing went right into the engine of the car. I mean, you could see the engine and the hood was all the way up here. Like, backed up and drove away. Sure, why not? Don't call the ambulance or whatever. The problem is, I think the challenge is, you know, Atlanta is the weed capital of the world. I have been to so many states where weed is legal. Las Vegas, California, Colorado, you know, New Jersey. I've been to all of these states where all this shit is. Where weed is legal. And there has never been a more strong and potent smell of weed than in the city of Atlanta. Chrissy and I have said this a million times. It is a shit you not statement. I do not exaggerate one inch.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I completely agree with you. I'll smell it. And on Monday, I'm like, where.

[Brian Green]

Where am I?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm driving.

[Brian Green]

I was at the Kroger today. I'm driving and I'm walking out of the parking lot, the Home Depot, and I'm walking out into the parking lot. There is not a soul in sight. And a car's driving way over there. And all this. Jesus, someone's toking. I'm taking a run by the river. It's weed the entire time. I don't even see anybody else.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know, that's the thing. You don't see anybody.

[Brian Green]

Y. Where are they? This is like, little hidden.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They drive by weed gnomes.

[Brian Green]

That Are just like smoking. You know, Disney has those, like, smell elators. They put the smell of popcorn in the air and cake and butter or whatever to make you hungry and, you know, feel good. They must have smell elators in Atlanta that just put weed smell into the air. I can be driving 80 mph down I 80 up I 85 north to north Carolina, and I will tell you right now that it smells like weed. Why? Because someone six miles ahead of me is just like hitting. Ripping a bong while they're driving down.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's so true.

[Brian Green]

And first of all, second of all, with all the ways to consume weed, you'd think that smoking would be the less fashionable way to do it, but nope, don't. Nope.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Not in Atlanta.

[Brian Green]

Not in Atlanta and not in New York. It's all over. People smoking joints on the street. I don't even think that is really legal. I don't think you're supposed to be smoking on the street, But I saw it a number of times. I think people just don't give a shit. Yeah, they don't give a shit. No one's enforcing. I also didn't see a lot of police officers, but I guess soho is not the place where they're going to be hanging out all that much. But I, I, I, I love where we're at. I love the, the vibe, the energy. Energy. It feels good. And I realize I'm in a bit of a. Of a gilded bubble in soho, but I'll take it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, exactly. Run with it.

[Brian Green]

Why not? I'm not, I'm not looking to argue with anybody about being in soho. There are worse places to be in New York.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, for sure.

[Brian Green]

You could be in the financial district where it's all kind of, you know, yuppies and stuff like that. At least I'm in like a bohemian.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you are.

[Brian Green]

Very rich. Bohemian.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Bohemian chic.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They have every fudgeing expensive piece of clothing in the world is sold within a mile of where I am. Those stores, I was like, you know, I need a couple of shirts. Let me pop into this place. And I forgot what it was. I don't even know what it was. Stussy or something like that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, yeah, it was stussy.

[Brian Green]

And I go and I open the door and I walk in and there's a guy standing there with one of those earpieces. Right. You know, but they do that at the fucking American eagle. You know, it's not that big of a deal. And then there's a lady standing there with a clipboard and so I walk in, and she goes, name? And I go, oh, hi, I'm Brian. And she goes, and last name? And I go, green. And she goes, not on the list.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What?

[Brian Green]

And I go. And she goes, did you stand in the line? And I go, no, I just walked in. And she goes, there's a line unless you have the invitation. And I was like, oh, okay. All right, cool. I like Stussy. I bought some of their clothing when I was a teenager, right? I thought maybe I'd get a cool T shirt or something like that. Yeah, the Stussy. And so then I.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Then did you see the line?

[Brian Green]

I didn't see the line, but not until the big guy, you know, he said, you gotta go stand out there, man. And I was like, oh, okay. And I was. I open up the door. And I opened up the door coming from the left, and if I looked at the right, there was a line of about 30 people, and it was like a velvet rope. And I was like, wow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's why they were in a little event there.

[Brian Green]

It wasn't an event because then every day that I passed by the Stussy, or every time I passed by the

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

stuff, you had to be invited to even shop there.

[Brian Green]

You had to be invited to shop there, or you had to wait in line to shop there. I assume maybe that was her spring collection or whatever. I'm not really sure. So I thought, okay. Then I went to a different store, which was like. I don't even know what it was. An American eagle. I don't know what the fuck it was. It was just something. And I. I walk in there. I was on a phone call. I walk in there, seeing if I could find a shirt, you know, something new, fresh to wear, right? You know, looking at those prices, and I'm like, jesus, you got to pay for this rent somehow. I guess.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brian Green]

700 for a shirt. 700 for a shirt. I'll go to TJ Maxx.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

But, you know, it's. It's a lovely place to be. It really is. And I. I am enjoying my time there. And thank God, because I will be spending a lot of time there. I'm glad it's, you know, not like, I don't know what's a. What's a city? That I probably would drive me crazy if I had to be there every day.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like a city city. Like a big city.

[Brian Green]

Like a big city downtown Miami. I think I would probably go a little nutty because I'd want to be. I'd want to be on south beach or something like that, right? Yeah, but that's not where the office is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like Houston.

[Brian Green]

Houston for sure. Yeah, Dallas for sure. Houston or Dallas. No knocking on Houston at Dallas. No, I know you've got your spots,

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

but if you had to go there every other week.

[Brian Green]

If I had to go there every other week, it'd drive me crazy. I've been there a lot. We have family that lives there. Gustavo lives there. Gustavo lives in Houston. And where we go where Gustavo is lovely. Right? Where we go where we have other family in Houston. Lovely downtown Houston. Big, sprawling, nothing of a metropolis. And that's not to say there aren't cool places. Of course there are. I've been to lots of cool places there. There are. It's got a vibe. But that downtown area is just like. It's never ending. It goes on forever. That's also another place where you get stuck in traffic and it's like seven hours of fucking traffic. Yeah, yeah. There. Houston. I think Phoenix probably might drive me a little crazy if I had to spend all my time there. It's beautiful out there, too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Phoenix.

[Brian Green]

I don't think 117 degrees is like December 20th. It's like Christmas weather when it's 117. When your balls are boiling with shorts on, it's like 100. It's 100 degrees outside. Yeah, but. So there are worse places to be. And I do enjoy time. And if you're going to be doing what I'm doing, it kind of is the epicenter for what it is. The good news is when I go up there, you can make a meeting. And it's likely the person that you're meeting is going to also be in town. So you can go up there and do that. So look at me, I'm a big New York boy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There you are.

[Brian Green]

Look at you, big New York boy. Now, my coffee Lance, my Starbucks boyfriend.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

He would catch up with him. Yeah, I did. He's like, you know, hey, man, can you meet me up? I said, yeah, I'm running a few minutes late. I'm working on a project. And he goes, oh, big New York boy. Big New York projects. Fuck you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love it. He's giving you shit.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he likes to bust my balls. That's what good friends do. We bust each other's balls.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

All right, well, it's good to. You.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You did a whole segment about that one time. I think about busting balls and how that's the sign of a great friendship.

[Brian Green]

That is the sign of a great friendship. The sign of a great friendship that's going to last for eternity is someone's ability to call you on your bullshit and tell. And. And you have to. Even though they are clearly hurting your sensitive little feelings, there is some truth to what they're saying. And you have to recognize Raphael does this to me all the time. All the time. To the point where it actually, like, does hurt my feelings. Like, I think he's being mean to me on purpose. But there's. But it's being mean on purpose, but being mean with a purpose also, you know, that's. That's the sign of. A sign of a great friendship is the ability to reflect on how miserable the other person is and say it out loud. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. And we get back, we'll talk Earth Day. Because it's not Earth Day, but tomorrow's Earth Day. And so we'll talk about Earth Day.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

When this is running, it'll be Earth Day.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And the eager beavers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, those little beavers.

[Brian Green]

Those little beavers and how they are ruining everybody's lives. But they're really important to our lives also. All right. They're like the bees of dam building, I guess. I don't know. We'll tell the bees of the river. We'll tell you all about it. We're gonna do our homework over the break, and we'll tell you all about. All right. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay, just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break

[Guest Performer / Singer]

I saw you in then the VIP bottle service in Hennessy. My heart went crazy, it skipped a beat? I thought that could be with me? I walk over to you, we lock eyes? You're my wife and I realize you're with my friend? And it's no surprise? Watching you two makes my flag rise? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut, cut crush on you? So, baby, grab your phone, start to swipe? We need to spend some time getting it right? I don't want you to be alone tonight? I want you to cheat without a fight? When you're in the bed with my favorite guy? I hide myself and try not cry? I love you, lady, but I won't lie? My therapist even wonders why? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut crush? Got crush on you? Grab a man and let's paint the town? I'll stay in the corner and watch it all go down? I promise not to make a sound? While you and neighbor ground and pound? It's so lovely to be your man? I can't do what the other guys can? But when you're happy, I feel grand? He can be your lion, I'll be your lamb? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I have a cut, cut crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do? I have a cut, cut crush on you?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love it.

[Brian Green]

Means you get screwed. Saxophone solo. Nothing beats a saxophone solo. Oh, God, I'm so in love with that song. I used to play the saxophone.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, you did.

[Brian Green]

Saxophone, if you don't mind.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of you and. Hey, everybody, in this stream, we just figured out how to make our chat work.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Sean. Hi, everybody. Thank you very much for joining us. So I am watching something called God Forbid on Hulu, the Jerry Falwell story about how this it is. Do you remember this story?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, yes. It came out a few years ago. Right?

[Brian Green]

Jerry and whatever his Night wave's name is. I can't remember. They had the pool Guy. The pool guy from the fountain Blue. Yes. He got invited upstairs to screw Jerry Falwell's wife while he watched and whacked off in the corner. But that's only the beginning of the story. It gets so wild. They bought him commercial real estate.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

They took videos of the guy. They had him, like, under their thumb, like, doing this whole song and dance around Liberty University, and it was just insane.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Please close. After all that, it should have closed.

[Brian Green]

I mean, honestly, like. Yeah, I mean. And listen, to be a little fair to Jerry Falwell and his wife, nothing wrong with your proclivities. You want to do that? Cool. And this guy was willing. His name is Giancarlo. Giancarlo was completely willing. Giancarlo. But he was 20 years old. 20 years old. And she was, like, 43 years old when this happened. And they took advantage of his naivete, his youth, his everything.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Plus, the whole thing was. You can't, like, do what you want to do, but also don't stand up there like you're this moral high ground. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. The part that is the craziest is that the whole shtick for Liberty University was projecting power and moral authority. And they got in bed with Donald Trump early. But the reasons why they got in bed with Donald Trump early have to do with getting in bed with Giancarlo.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Really.

[Brian Green]

It is wild how these two worlds intersect.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

You gotta watch this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay. I will be watching this.

[Brian Green]

I. I heard the story. Hulu. I heard the story. And when it came out, and I was like, oh, she up.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I read a whole article about it. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

This is based on that series of articles that then became a book. And it is the story. This goes on for years. Yeah, years in and out of his life, buying him commercial real estate, you know, putting his name on other pieces of real estate. Up near Liberty University. Donald Trump enters the picture. Michael Cohen enters picture. The attorney, Michael Cohen, uses a lawsuit that was filed. What happened was. I'll tell you just a little bit, and then you can go watch the movie, because it really unfolds very, very, very well. This is a great documentary. I'm loving it. I didn't watch the last 20 minutes, but I watched most of it.

[Rachel]

The.

[Brian Green]

The guy starts taking videos. Jerry Falwell, of all of this. It's videotaped the entire time. But Giancarlo does not know until years later that there are videotapes when she starts sending him pictures of screen grabs. Okay. All right. So that's that somehow some Way a couple of business partners of Giancarlos, like two wannabe real estate moguls down in Miami who helped him buy this hotel that Jerry Falwell paid for. They decide they're going to blackmail him by suing him for the hotel, saying that he promised them 50% of the hotel. He never did that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Giancarlo.

[Brian Green]

Giancarlo.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

These two wannabe real estate ass clowns,

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

they turn on him.

[Brian Green]

They turn on after he bought the hotel, but it's really not about the hotel. It's a front for a blackmail because they have the pictures that were sent to him on his phone. How? Nobody knows. That's what private investigators do all the time. These, you want it, they'll find it. Hackers, all this other. So what happens? They sue him. Jerry Falwell quickly comes in because it's all going to come out. Jerry Falwell comes in, offers these guys a bunch of money, the hotel, the whole nine yards. They say, nope, we want more. They get greedy. And guess what? Guess who steps in to fix it? Cohen. Michael Cohen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

But now Michael Cohen has the pictures.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Guess who needs an endorsement in 2016 from the evangelicals. Guess who needs an endorsement. Donald Trump. Guess who. Who? Guess who's the first evangelical Christian to the the most and the most powerful one prominent to endorse Donald Trump. When honestly his campaign was a joke. No one believed he was going to be president. Remember 2015, everyone was like, whatever, yeah. But then Jerry Falwell got involved and all of a sudden all these evangelical Christians are like, this is the second coming of Christ right here. It is fucking wild. All because of a little cuck, cuck on you. That's it. That's what it started with. A little we want to have some fun. You know, take it. It's a little weird, but whatever. And Giancarlo is in this movie. He tells his own story. He's in the movie, tells his own story. And to be honest with, with you, I like the guy. I, I, I think he's telling the truth. And I think that he, it really became this house of cards that had been built. Lie after lie after lie. The only person that knew was his sister. He was, he was being honest with his sister. And his parents were big fans of Jerry Falwell. So he, he, like the Falwells would invite this guy, they invited this guy to their children's weddings. And the mom would disappear for hours with Giancarlo. And Jerry Falwell was like, make sure you Videotape it. Oh, my God. While he distracted the children and they'd be, they had T shirts made one afternoon when they all went to go to this location for the wedding. You know, this jet setting location for the wedding. The mom was gone so much. Someone went to the print shop, made T shirt. Where's Mom? Mom was fucking the pool boy. But no one knew except for Jerry.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Green]

It's wild.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God. I can't wait to watch it.

[Brian Green]

I love that, that this is like, I don't think Jerry Falwell and his wife are like the worst human beings on earth. I think they also got caught in a really shitty series of lies. But you can't go on stage with all these powerful people. And, and, and, and if you go to Liberty University and you get caught saying a swear word, they fine you money.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they were really strict.

[Brian Green]

You get caught with alcohol, you could be kicked off campus and God forbid, drugs or sex. That's such a whole different animal altogether. I mean, it, it is wild. How, how hyp. Just the rue of the day. And I'm not saying I, I can be hypocritical sometimes, too, but at the end. But that's my job. I'm on the commercial break. I'm not running Liberty University. God damn it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, exactly, man. God.

[Brian Green]

Jesus. I, I Real quick, before we talk about the beavers, I just want to say this. While we're bouncing on the subject of Donald Trump, did you hear this wild story? I don't know if it's true. It has not come out in any mainstream news. It's only been on Twitter and other places. So for what it's worth, and the guy who is saying this is also known to be kind of Russian friendly. So this may be compromise, if you will. This may be, this may be misinformation. But I heard this story, and then I'm hearing it again from other sources that seem a little bit more reputable. And so where it started is not reputable. Now, there are other people that are digging into the story that Donald Trump walked into the Situation Room last Saturday and wanted to you and asked for the nuclear codes so that he could decide whether or not he wanted to nuke Iran.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What?

[Brian Green]

And that the General Mad Dog Kane, whatever his name, Mad Dog, Madis, whatever his name is, whatever that guy's name is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Mad Dog.

[Brian Green]

That he, he was like, no, I'm, I'm inserting authority here. And I'm saying, no, not even an option.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it was like a little bit of an argument and then know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Thank God for Mad Dog.

[Brian Green]

Thank God for Mad Dog. If that's his real name. I don't even know. It's such a revolving door.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like he only has, yes. People around him. So I'm surprised anybody actually assert now

[Brian Green]

again, take that with a grain of salt. I don't want to. I'm not here to spread misinformation. I've just been reading the story from multiple different places. And I think if there isn't truth to it, what we do know there is truth to is he was. He was kept out of the situation room because people were worried about him. So they. So his aides were keeping him out of the situation room hour by hour. Hour. As those pilots were rescued. And thank God they were. As those pilots are rescued. It's wild. It's wild.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Very wild.

[Brian Green]

It's a wild time to be alive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Wild time to be alive. And then the labor secretary, she's also out there. Cut, cut, cut. She's. And her husband is hitting on, like, the interns. And. And the wife is resigned. Yeah, she just resigned. The husband and her father were in the office, like, hitting on the interns, texting him, where are you? Where are you staying? I love you. You're the best. You're so sexy. He was texting all this stuff. And when they complained to her, she was like, yeah, you better pay attention to the men. The men are important. Pay attention to that. It's her fucking husband.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

God.

[Brian Green]

Fucking wild.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

What is going on?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know. We're in that upside down world.

[Brian Green]

I can't take it anymore. Yeah, it's all palace intrigue. It's all palace intrigue. We got a bunch of boneheads running, leading a bunch of other boneheads. All right, the beavers. Let's talk about the beavers. Speaking of beaver, let's talk about beavers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes. In honor of Earth Day, and on

[Brian Green]

honor of Earth Day, we. Chrissy and I wanted to share with you that beavers are important. I don't even know where to go with it. We have a friend who's very into beavers, and she's a friend of the shows. And so we did a little research on the beaver so that we could talk about this on Earth Day. Let's touch on it. All right. Beavers are important, and they have been hunted almost to extinction. There are less than 100,000 of them left in the wild.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Nature's kind of like its own little infrastructure. Yeah, right.

[Brian Green]

These dams that they build help Spread out flood plains. They help redirect debris from. From flooding. They really do a lot of good because it's nature and nature figures out a way. Right. And beavers are there for a reason and they do some good. They spread out the wetlands. They help it. South Georgia. Sean knows about this. Yeah, he's in the chat right now. He knows about this. He captures beavers. Beavers that can be destructive to human projects. Right. Like my dad's boat dock.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right. I was gonna say, like we're the ones that have kind of encroached on their homes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Somebody said. And now for the beaver segment. Right, exactly. There's no easy transition into the beaver segment. I just gotta talk about it. But beavers are important. So we're asking you to take a moment and think about the beaver. We're not paid by any beavers to make this statement, by the way.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, but I do have to say I do. I went up to the mountains last fall and at night the beavers were out there doing their thing, splashing around, splashing around, making their little homes and stuff. And I really enjoyed it.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy loves the beavers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I love a beaver. I don't have anything against beavers. My dad does because he's constantly destroying the boat dock he's trying to build. They're little. They're rapscallions. They're rapscallions. They are. They like to get in there and do their thing. They're like, you know, building stuff under the boat dock and then they chew away at the foam and boat docks, always falling. But listen, the beavers were there first, dad. That's all I got to say. You were the one who decided to buy the house in the boat dock that was, you know, being eaten by the beavers. Beavers are important. I'm going to put a link in the show notes if you want to go. Read more about beavers. Don't kill them for their pelts. Don't buy beaver. I don't think anybody does this, but I don't even think they make them. No, I'm sure people make them. Them, right. Like, you know, there's a. There's a market out there somewhere for it. But the beavers are important. They're almost hunted to extinction. A lot of people see them as nuisance and nuisance, nuisances and pests. So they get rid of them or relocate them, which is what South Georgia Sean does sometimes. And I understand sometimes there's an actual need for that. Right. That, you know, you're building a major highway construction project or something like that that's going to help humans be more efficient. Sometimes you. You have to deal with wild wildlife. But, you know, if you should run into a beaver, be nice to the beaver.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Save the beavers.

[Brian Green]

Invite them to parties. Check in on your friend, your local beaver. Make sure they're okay. And, you know, think about the beavers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So that was the most awkward segment I've ever done on a commercial. Right. For no reason whatsoever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Have you ever seen a beaver out in your pool?

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no, no. No beavers out in the pool.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, that's good.

[Brian Green]

No moles, squirrels, rats. Rats. Well, I actually don't see many rats because I think there's a snake that's eating the rats. There's chipmunks everywhere. It is a chipmunk paradise.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my gosh. They dig the holes, right?

[Brian Green]

They dig the holes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Our yard is like all holes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, mine too. It's all holes. It's holes from the back of the house to the front of the house. They're under the house. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. They're on my front porch. And you know what?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They are cute.

[Brian Green]

They're cute. So I just leave them alone. I'm like, what are they doing? There's a hole here and the hole there. Whatever. I'm not gonna stop. There's hundreds of them. There must be. And in. In the pool. Patio, which is cement in the cracks. Yeah, there's one. Oh, there's a whole.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The one will just pop up.

[Brian Green]

He's a guard. He's the guard. He's the guard. He's there all day. I mean, unless we're out there. He's there. He's pop. He just, like, doing his thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's the guard.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he makes noise.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's the lookout.

[Brian Green]

He's the lookout. He is. And there used to be one that would sit on our potter right out front of the house, like, right in front of the front door. There was like a flower pot. Pot, like a cement flower, a decorative flower pot. And there used to be one that sat right there. So my assumption is these are. This is a family of chipmunks. And this is a mom or dad that is protecting the chipmunks, probably from the snake and the family of hawks that live back there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we've got hawks.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I've seen a hawk take a baby chipmunk and a baby squirrel away, and it did not make me so happy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We saw that. This hawk. We came. Jeff and I were Coming out to the car in our drive driveway, and this hawk all of a sudden swooped down and got another bird, like, right in front of us.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're crazy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What just happened.

[Brian Green]

They're crazy fast. Yeah, they're so fast. Yeah, they're predators that are. So they're flying a mile up in the air and then all of a sudden they're on the ground swooping things. Yeah, it's. It's insane. I actually think that's what happened when that baby squirrel almost died in my back and on my back porch that one time. I think it got dropped from a distance. Yeah, I did, actually. Yeah, the squirrel was fine. Yeah, the squirrel lived. The squirrel lived. The squirrel lived. She re homed it about four weeks after I dropped it off. I love that she nursed it back to health with another. With a. Four or five other baby squirrels that were like, kind of. Of similar age. And then she re homed all of them at the same place. And she said it was likely that they would, like, keep you. They would stay together. Yeah, they would stay together. Because squirrels, they're not necessarily pack animals, but they do live in families, you know, generally live in families. They had little nest. Little squirrel nest in my attic. Yeah, in my attic.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I can hear him running across the room.

[Brian Green]

I know. All day, all night. But, you know, it's part of living in Georgia, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You don't hear that in. In New York.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I guess you probably didn't hear it in.

[Brian Green]

No, no. You don't get.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You didn't see squirrels?

[Brian Green]

No. You see.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A lot of dogs would be in Central park, but.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I haven't got.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I'm sure there's all.

[Brian Green]

I. At least not in the last couple years. I haven't made it up to Central Park. I was like, one morning I got up early. Like, this is. I have kids, so, you know, sometimes. Sometimes I. Sometimes I get up early and I just pop up. And I was like, you know what? Let me put my shoes on and I'll go run a walk or run up to Central Park. And then I googled it. It was like an hour and 17 minutes. And I was like, okay, well, that's a good idea. I guess I can go to the Starbucks next door. We'll do that. How about we go to the Starbucks next door? Best thing about New York, hot dog.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Anytime, day or night, hot dogs and pizza.

[Brian Green]

Good pizza, great pizza. And. But someone here in Atlanta recommended to me a burger shop. They said if you ever get to this burger shop, 7th Street Burgers. And I said, well, goddamn, New York's big. Like, I'm not gonna be anywhere near 7th Street Burgers, whatever that is. And you know what? I Google it. And I'm one minute away. It is literally around the corner from where I'm standing when I get this recommendation. So I'm like, oh, okay, Kiss Med. I guess I'll go. And I go in there. It's tiny. It's like you can fit three people in there. Smells lovely. And I say, okay, give me the whatever. You know the burger that you guys do. Smash Burger in.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Incredible. Smash Burgers.

[Guest Performer / Singer]

Incredible.

[Brian Green]

Oh, man, was it good. 7th street burger. If you're ever in SoHo, get it. You get a chance to do that. But first, save the Beavers, then do the Smash Burgers in soho. Hey, listen, we're trying. We're trying to help people. Okay? All right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Or are we trying to get free lunch? I'm not sure what we're doing, but no. No beavers. No beavers paid us to say any of this, by the way, just to let you know that that is not

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

just a little psa.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

In honor of Earth Day.

[Brian Green]

On honor. In honor of Earth Day. Because, you know, it's like, way up there on the agenda right now of things that Donald Trump is taking care of.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

They even celebrate Earth Day anymore.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't think he does.

[Brian Green]

I don't think any of them do, really. No. I will say this, like, just bouncing back one second to the, like, the rotating cast of numbnuts that are up there. Bam. Bondi's out. Now the labor secretary's out. Who was the other one that left?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, Kosh is about to be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. Kash Patel.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Did you see that story?

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's, like, being all paranoid that he had already been fired. So then he just wasn't picking up his phone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he wasn't picking up his phone.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like, where is he?

[Brian Green]

Well, they had to ask to break. They had to ask for equipment to break down his hotel door room because he wasn't waking up because he was fucking obliterated. And this is like a super well sourced story. I know Cash is now, you know, in the courtroom, you know, suing somebody for $250 million. But, like, all these lawsuits, it will go away. Also, it's just a scare tactic because it's true. Cash Patel, think about this. I want you to think about this just for a second. And listen, I. I would say this about any Democrat or libertarian or whatever, too. And There were a lot of numb nuts that work for Biden, too. But listen, Think about this. The FBI director who is in charge of keeping the homeland safe from threats foreign and domestic, okay, Takes a plane to Italy, a private plane to Italy to watch a hockey game that he could watch on tv.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hey, hey, hey. He had other business.

[Brian Green]

He had other, other business. That's what he says. He was meeting with officials in Italy. About what? You protect the homeland, not Italy. Okay, but let's assume for a minute there is a business trip. Fine. Goes to the game. Not my favorite thing in the world to have our FBI director there showing out at the Olympics. But okay, whatever. I can accept that. What happens next is fucking insane. He is literally pounding beers in the locker room. Okay, now let's just take for a moment that some terrible tragedy happens here in the United States of America. And our FBI director. Director is sloshed with the USA Hockey team 6,000 miles away. Right. Not able to be gotten a hold of. And certainly his judgment is impaired. This is not a good thing. And that is why generally the FBI people, they're not supposed to be drinking on the job. This isn't the fucking CIA where you run from bar to bar, you know? Yeah. Finding dirt on people. Yeah, exactly. Mexican drug lords snorting cocaine with Mexican drugs. Drug lords. This is the FBI and you are the director. And I will tell you right now, I promise you, he's going to be gone. So all these people are turning right now. One decision that I saw the other day that I can support is they put somebody in charge of the CDC that is an actual medical profession.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I saw that, too.

[Brian Green]

A woman of color. A woman of color who has the bonafides to be running the cdc. God bless America. Maybe there's somebody smart somewhere that says, we can't let a heart. Junior.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, who. I was reading something about him that he was like in a hot tub with Kid Rock in some video.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. He's in a cold. He's cold. Plunging with Kid Rock exactly where he needs to be. By the way, did you say the military helicopters flying by Kid Rock's house?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

This is upside down candy land we live in. Yeah. Can you imagine that? I get the choppers swing by the commercial break house for what? To salute Kid Rock. Oh, man. Okay. All right. Yeah, it's a bizarro. And by the way, I have a feeling that this is not going to go away because some Democrat comes into office. All of this stuff, it's. All the ground has been broken now. And all of this stuff will continue until the guardrails are tightened. And maybe that's what this democracy needs, a little guard right now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You think?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Don't worry. Jared Kushner's figuring all that Iran stuff out right now and making a billion dollars while he's doing it. Maybe we should be in the government. You know what I'm saying? Like, what are we doing here? We should be, like, the ambassador to some small country that we. That we can have Donald invade and make a billion dollars with selling the real estate.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

All right. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Okay, There, there. There we go. There we. There we go. There it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was just reading some of the comments that Sean had said. Is it Sean that said that? I don't know about the office. Office ladies, when they hear that he's hunting beavers.

[Brian Green]

What does it say?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Here's some of the jokes from women in the office settings when they find out I hunt beavers to remove.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, I think in some cases, it's gotta be done. Like, I mean, it didn't have to be done in my dad's case, but these things were really causing a lot of damage. So he got beaver people to come and do the beaver thing. They didn't kill him, though. Relocated them to a different part of the lake, as per the Department of Natural Resources or whatever. They said you can put them here. And so, you know, hopefully they're. But then they returned, like, a year later. They found her way back.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They were like, fuck you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's wild. Yeah. It's like, hey, we were here first. Okay. You know, it is what it is. It is what it is what it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like the price of tea in China.

[Brian Green]

It is the price of tea in China or a bowl in a china shop or whatever. Why is China getting the shit of into the. The price of tea in China is my favorite one. What does it have to do with the price of tea in China?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Nothing.

[Brian Green]

I was watching recap of Coachella weekend. Two came out and Justin Bieber and all the. The boys are back in town. The boys are back in town.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I saw Madonna showed up with Sabrina Carpenter, I think.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I didn't see that. Oh, that was not part of the recap. That's weird. But Justin was doing his thing. And then who got up there on stage? Billy Eilish got upstage. Got on stage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I forget. Okay. Played twice.

[Brian Green]

They played twice. Yeah, Same. Same lineup two weekends in a row. And it made me think about the beginnings of Coachella and something that I forgot, which is the first three or four years of Coachella. Coachella was. The Coachella festival was a kick in the face to the live nation. Huge festivals that were charged charging insane amounts of money to show up. So Coachella's whole thing was 50 tickets. Come see all these great bands.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

For the weekend. And do you know who played the first Coachella?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

God. Was it. Was it like the Stones or was it Pearl Jam? Oh, Pearl.

[Brian Green]

It was Pearl Jam. And I think the Strokes were there and other. And other people.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Jam was on board.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they were on board. They were like, yeah, all these ticket prices. But it just turned into something much different. So I was watching kind of this recap from this guy who's clearly had very cynical take on this whole thing. Right. Which I kind of do also. Listen, it's not that I'm against Coachella. If you can get tickets to go, great. But it just seems like a place where now all influencers go. Yeah. CNB scene and the music. Sure. I'm sure there's some great music that happens there. Of course, they're paying these people an immense amount of money. And you're paying $700 to get into the $700 just for a base rate ticket. That's just beyond bananas to me. Me. But then they were showing some of the food and how much it costs. 27 for a grilled cheese. $27 for a grilled cheese. They have a caviar burger that's a hundred and eighty dollars. And they sell like a thousand of them over the course of the weekend. That. That is. That doesn't even sound like it tastes good. It just sounds like something you get to show you, of course, to show people on your Instagram. Right. They have all, you know, $50 Red Bull. You know, you get three cans of Red Bull and two shots of vodka. It's just this insanely commercial, hedonistic, commercialized version of what Coachella always had in mind, at least what the origins were, which is, fuck all these expensive festivals. Come see some great music for a reasonable price. And that kind of made me sad a little bit. And I had forgotten, many years later, 20 years later, whatever it is, I had forgotten that this all started as a very noble idea. Idea. Right. But I forgot who said this. It was back in the 60s, all good ideas or movements in the United States of America turn into Griffs cults or otherwise bastardized versions of themselves. And it's true. That's. That's what happens. It happened with Falwell and his Liberty University. It happened with Coachella. Coachella. I don't know. Is Bonnaroo. Is Bonnaroo still doing a thing? Can we call Bonnaroo a festival? Festival that. Are we on the good side of Bonnaroo?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think. I think Live Nation did Bonnery now.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they bought Bonnaroo. But isn't Bonnaroo tried to keep some semblance of coolness about it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, when was the last time I went? Well, you and I went that one year.

[Brian Green]

God, we went that one year. Jesus Christ. That was a fun.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And then I went another year.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you went like two years later.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, up there. So. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I did not get the invite to come back to go to the second time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, you. You left and took my car in the middle of the Radiohead performance.

[Brian Green]

It's not like I didn't ask to take your car. You told me to take your car. I did.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But you had to go see your girlfriend.

[Brian Green]

I did. I had a moment. Yeah. It was at 4 in the morning. It's 700 miles away.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Did you really have to go? Okay, take the car.

[Brian Green]

I think I was slipped something that night because I was whacked out, man. I really was. I remember being in the back of that fence and Radiohead playing, and I was just spinning out of control.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was the first night that we got.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. To be fair, I didn't really have a place to stay either, so I think I was going to be sleeping in your car anyway. You guys had a hotel room, but you had just started dating. And I'm like, yeah, I'm probably not going to be sleeping on the floor in this hotel room. It was like A day's in. It was.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's the only thing that's near there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. Not anymore, but back then. Yeah, certain. Now there's a whole infrastructure around it. But, you know, I guess Bonnaroo takes its stab. Shaky knees. You know, I think Tim's trying to do something cool with shaky knees. I'm not.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Obviously Mempho and Riverbeat are still on the good side.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, they're independent festivals that are largely driven by the wants and desires of musician or musician friendly, musician adjacent. People that make the decision based on what they think would be a cool lineup rather than.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And for the city.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and for the city. Bas. Other than, you know, what they think about the money making. The commercialized version of this. Having Justin Bieber there is just so they can get all those influencers in there to take pictures of Justin Bieber. I saw a photograph of Justin at Coachella and someone was maybe, let's call it 200 people back, right. And he took a picture and every single hand in the entire. In front of him, thousands of people had a phone like this. You couldn't even watch the fucking performance.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I guess that's like kind of a symptom. That's what happens at most concerts these days. But it's a. It is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Some artists have. Have. They make you put your phone in that bag.

[Brian Green]

You know, I wish they would all do it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Honestly. I mean, I like to take a picture or two too, but I'm not videotaping everything.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Not going back and watching that.

[Brian Green]

Never.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, I've got so many pictures of concerts on my phone where I'm like, why did. Not even. In the moment, I was like, woo. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then you take it back and it's like this grainy video of you going like this with Eddie Vedder turning upside down and sideways. Yeah, right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I probably have some.

[Brian Green]

And let's be real about it, it's 2026. If you went to a concert in the last two years, it's on videotape better than you did somewhere. The entire thing with annotations and lyrics. You know what I'm saying? This is not like we're not living in some information vacuum. The novel. These phones and our hands should have worn off a long time ago, but it just. We just seem to get dumber and dumber about them now. You got people wearing glasses around. I mean, listen, I had a friend who had these glasses. The meta glasses.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The meta glasses. I have somebody. I know somebody that has them.

[Brian Green]

And at first I thought to myself, what a bad idea. And I think it is, generally, I think it can be fun and useful, but I also think it's a bad idea because it's got facial recognition software. It's not available publicly yet, but facial recognition software. Software. And there was a guy that worked for Meta or like, someone of those tech comp. Like tech magazines that was. He was walking around. Yeah. Wired. He was walking around identifying people by name through their LinkedIn, through their Facebook.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. That's so crazy.

[Brian Green]

It's wild. He was walking up to them being like, hey, Jan. And. And yes. And be like, yeah. Do you work at, you know, so Weird John's coffee shop? Yeah. How do you know that? Well, I. I think you live on 2264. And she was like, what? And he's like, well, I have these glasses here. You know what? How do you feel about it? And these people were freaked out because, of course they.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think there's a Black mirror episode that's kind of like that.

[Brian Green]

There is. Where the videotaping everything. And I remember that black mirror freaks me out sometimes. I can't.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's a creepy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's not a show to watch before you go to bed, because then you just have nightmares. But I want you to hear me. I want you to hear me when I say this. We don't need to be dumber about these fucking cell phones in our goddamn hands. There can be a moment unbassled, bastardized, by watching it through your goddamn hand with your cell phone out there. I can't think tell you how many concerts and shows I've been to where I'm literally watching it through the phone screen of someone in front of you. Yes. And it is obnoxious. I want to watch it through the big screen that sits on top of the. On top of the stage like it's meant to be.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right.

[Brian Green]

When I pay 600 to go see Taylor Swift.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

It's just one of those things. Listen, you know Coachella, I'm sure that if someone gave me a ticket, I would go because just to experience it once in my life. But Coachella is just one of those festivals.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And to stay in the Guest House.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And to stay in the Guest House.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The Guest house.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the guest house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Astrid would never let me stay in the guest house. Telling you that right now. She'd be like, I don't think so. Thank you. Anyway. And listen, to be fair, I think I should. You know, nothing but trouble can come of that. Like, you Know, even if I'm on my very best behavior, which I always am with Astrid, Even if I'm on my very best behavior. Trouble has a way of finding you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It does.

[Brian Green]

You know, it just does. A naked pool party at three in the morning. Well, honey, was he supposed to do, let these girls drown? They're clearly intoxicated. Someone had to be a lifeguard.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

I pulled three of them out of the water by their tits.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You were saving the beavers.

[Brian Green]

I was saving the beaver. I saw a beaver and I had to save it. Yeah, I agree. The people are saying they agree with us in the chat that, you know, put the phone down, be present. Yeah, I agree. I think, you know, when I went to Chris Rock two years ago.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

After the Will Smith slap. Like a month after the Will Smith slap. First show after the slap here in Atlanta, and he was working on new material. Material. And so we went to the fox Theater. Probably 1500, 2000 people fit in there. Astrid and I had pretty good seats. And we walked in there and they had one of those, whatever they call them, the bag. Right. The bag that locks. And you have to take it to the entrance and swipe it to unlock it. And, you know, they. They said if you think there's going to be an emergency, you can. Or you feel you can put your phone on vibrate. And if it vibrates and someone's calling you and it might be an emergency, you can come back and someone will unlock it for you. But otherwise it stays locked. And that bag. And it was weird because we got that like 30 minutes earlier. Right, and 30 minutes early. And we're. Everyone's just sitting there, but then we're turning and you talk to the person next to you, and then you're listening to the vibe in the crowd, and then you're listening to the music.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Contact.

[Brian Green]

Action. That's right. And it was quite amazing. And then Chris came out and he did his two hours and he was absolutely killed it. And he was so funny. And it was un. You know, there was no drama around me watching it through someone taking pictures. Most comedians have a no photograph, no video kind of policy because if someone videotapes their set, they're going to do the exact same set next. Next time they go to the next city.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

They don't want it on YouTube because then it takes the bite out of the ticket sales. Right. But Chris takes it a step further and says, like when we went and saw what's his Name from Impractical Jokers, Ari Sal Sal Volcano.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sal.

[Brian Green]

They had a no phone, no, you know, no video kind of policy. And there was a girl in front of me and she was taking pictures of one of the intro comics, one of the opening comics. And the security guard came over and took his flashlight and pointed and she put it down and you know, okay, great. But that made it enjoyable for the rest of us knowing that I didn't have to watch it through her stream. And I can understand you want to take a picture and, you know, say you were there or whatever, but then get backstage passes like I had.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

And give a hug to the notoriously germaphobed Sal Volcano.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Hey, he went in for the hug.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He did.

[Brian Green]

I, I went to give him knuckles because I remembered what he said to me. You know, I hate, you know, I, I do shake people's hands, but it drives me crazy. And, you know, I give knuckles now because I'm, I'm kind of germaphobic about the whole thing. And then he went in for the hug and I said, yeah, you know what? If Sal Volcano is going to give me a hug. Yeah, you, I'm going to give Sal Volcano a hug right back.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He was the nicest talking to him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course. We're best friends, talk to him all the time. I say, hey, Sal, what's going on? Where are you at? How you feeling about the Iran situation? He hasn't responded. No, in months. But I'm sure he's thinking about it. Yeah, I'll keep trying.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He gave you the hug.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And last time I sent him a text message, it said this phone number no longer exists. Exists. Sorry, user cannot be reached. Yeah, yeah, he probably went report as spam block,

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

which does not seem to be working on my phone, just FYI.

[Brian Green]

No, mine doesn't either.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's a million calls a day.

[Brian Green]

How much money do you need? Do you have insurance? Yes. Your UPS package is on the way. It's like it never stops. I've been approved for a million dollars worth of finance. At least, by the way. I've been approved. I get $2 million into your card.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They need one more piece of information.

[Brian Green]

They just need piece of information, which is any information because they call me Jason half the time. I'm like, I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I get text for Jennifer.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm Jason. That's my. I don't know who.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Between that and all the people texting me about the political too, I'm just

[Brian Green]

like, yeah, that's why I can't get involved this early in the cycle because I can't, like, put my name in any of those things. No, I'm gonna volunteer at some point for somebody. But I don't want to volunteer now because I know volunteering now just means I'm to going to get a lot of text messages about volunteering $5 into their account, and I just don't want to do it during that election cycle with Kamala. Holy shit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I was on fire getting 60 of them a minute at one point. It's like, we just need 10 more dollars before midnight or the whole world's gonna explode. Donald Trump's gonna press the nuclear button if you don't send me $5 tonight. It's like, okay, what? You know, our fundraising deadline ends at midnight. If we don't get this money, we won't be able to compete. It's like, guys, what we do. Deadline. I googled it. There's no deadline. Yeah, okay. Do what Trump does. You know, sell something, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Anything.

[Brian Green]

Donald Trump yogurt now available. It's the best yogurt. We have the best yogurt.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I've heard that, like, at the White House, apparently. I was reading the story that there's, like a whole gift shop of all of his stuff. Stuff in there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they have a gift shop. Well, they've always had a gift shop in the White House, to be fair.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

This is his gift shop.

[Brian Green]

His gift shop now it's. He's spruced up that gift shop and it's all about Donald Trump. It's everywhere. Trump. Listen, you know, I've said this before, and I know that sometimes we, like, bounce into this, right? I would, I would and will say this about any politician. I do not like Trump. Why don't I like Trump? Because he's an egomaniac and he is literally lost. He has literally lost his mind. And I think we are all in a lot of danger because he's running, running around half cocked and saying this thing and doing that thing. And, you know, it's not that I. It's not that I generally hate all Republicans or conservatives. I don't. As a matter of fact, I voted for them. And I voted for lots of Democrats and I voted for independents. Of course that's a waste of my vote, but, you know, I voted for them anyway. And what's going on right now is just insane. Think about four years ago when Joe Biden was in office, okay? Forget the fact that he was probably asleep and in a wheelchair somewhere auto penning it all day long. There wasn't this kind of drama going on. Right. There was some semblance that somebody, some series of people were running the country at some. To some degree. Right now there's a bunch of drunks and cuckolders pretending they. It's like they stayed at a Holiday Inn last night. I'm not the FBI director, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night. And then they had to break the door down because I was too drunk at the Holiday Inn last night.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's like.

[Brian Green]

It's wild.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

And Trump has just taken every advantage of this presidency to enrich himself and the people around him. And. And I just have this idealized version that public service in this way should not be a place to enrich yourself. I know it happens. I know it happens. I'm not dumb. I'm not dumb. I don't think this is the fucking West Wing we're living in. But I just wish that we had, like, it was a little less obvious, let's put it that way. A little less fucking obvious. He sold those trump cards for a billion dollars a piece or whatever. And they have things. Something on Kyle sheet. How many trump cards will be sold, right? And it's like zero or more than ten or more than a hundred. 90% of the betting market is on Hill. Sells zero. He'll sell zero of those cards.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's.

[Brian Green]

It's all the trump gold card. It gets you automatic entrance into the.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, that's right. It's the Visa.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's like $10 million dollars or something like that. That's insane. And where does that $10 million go? To a slush fund, guaranteed. All right, well, you know, all this has been another fun episode of the commercial break talking about beavers. This will go down as the weirdest segment of in commercial break history.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Then that's saying something.

[Brian Green]

And that's saying something because we once thought. Talked about testicle taste buds,

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

tasty teas.

[Brian Green]

The tasty teas. Somebody asked me put together like six or seven episodes of the commercial break that really like what we are about. Yeah. And I thought, should I do the one where Irving got dropped out of his casket in the grave, or should I do taste tasty testicles? Which one? And then I waited too long to send him something and they started investigating on their own.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And somebody was like, so tell me how you really feel about Burning Man? And then they said, I've been to Burning man every year for the last 15 years. What did he say to me? He goes, well, if you Think putting a ceiling fan in your tent was a luxury. You should see how I go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God, I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, get all tricked out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Listen, we have friends have been going to Burning man for a long time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Nothing wrong with it. And that's what you want to do?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's what you want to do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And. And I saw them over the weekend. Our Burning man friends. I saw our Burning man friends. I went to. Yeah. My. My dear friend Raphael's beautiful daughter, Cecilia is getting married. Congratulations, Cecilia. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Yes.

[Brian Green]

And we went to a big party to celebrate the wedding, not. Not the actual wedding.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I remember going to her quinceanera.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I remember going to her kinceniera, too. It feels like yesterday. That's right when I met Astrid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And now she's not a little kid anymore. She's all grown up. She's got a wonderful fiance. Ryan. They're getting married. We had a great time at the party. Maybe we'll talk more about that tomorrow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Let's do that.

[Brian Green]

Okay. You can go to TCPodcast.com, get your free sticker, watch all the audio, watch all the video, go to YouTube.com the commercial break. Make sure you follow us and hit the notifications on our channel so that you get notified when we go live. Thanks, everybody. In the streaming, in the comments and the sections.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, thanks for joining.

[Brian Green]

If you've texted the phone number, I promise to get back to you. It's been like three weeks, but you gotta understand. Oh, you don't understand. But it's been a little crazy for us here over the last three weeks. Everything's fine. It's just been crazy busy at the commercial break on Instagram. You can DM us there and follow us personally. Brian W. Green and tcb. Chrissy. Okay, that's all I can do for now. Chrissy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast and the streaming audience. Thank you. We love you. Until next time. We will say. We do say. We must say goodbye. Sam. It.