Upside Down Pineapple Fake

Fri May 23 2025

EP #753: Bryan & Krissy get a text from a listener on a cruise, showing an upside down pineapple. That's the secret (not so secret) signal to the Swinger community that you're open for business! And the heavens open up and Bryan has questions...SO many questions! Plus, the hosts recall their first big break in the podcast universe. A spread in Podcast Magazine. That's correct, Podcast MAGAZINE! It's the kind of PR only TCB can enjoy. The 4 page story included unwanted advances by the author on Krissy and Bryan. Turns the phrase, Swinging into the spotlight to a whole new level. Finally, TV is being watched by Bryan and some of it is actually good! Go figure! TCB Jingles: Alien Light Lyre Watch EP #753 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpod...

Transcript

Alien Singer (0:03)

I came to Earth with a sacred plan to spread a message to every man. I travel far from magic lands. I'll sing this song so you'll understand. Shaka pala reggy taka Pakahalapu mala shiri hoodoondo brava lava deja vu. In alien light language I will tell you what to do. Health, wealth and abundance is just waiting for you. Come and open your third eye tonight. All will be revealed when you have your sight. You'll need some teaching to get it right. Use your MasterCard on my new website There is no price you shouldn't pay to make your troubles go away. I've payment plans and lay away. You need it now so act today. Shaka pala dicky taka Pakahalapu mala shitty hoodoo endo brava lava deja vu. I talk in tongues to signal all the magic I can do. Visit my new website so I can teach it just to you. Haven't you been told just how special you can be by activating membership? You can learn it from me. I spent two years in Bali so you know my soul is free. I speak in tongues, make cool reels and dress like a hippie. Shaka pala dicky taka pakahala pu mala shitty hoodoo endo grava lava deja vu. I have a message, the algorithm tailored just for you. If you buy now, you'll be fixing happy through and through. Vu I talk in tongues to signal all the magic I can do. Visit my new website so I can teach it just to you.

Brian Green (2:46)

On this episode of the commercial break. And when does the swinging happen?

Chrissy Hoadley (2:52)

Well, I would think that there's some kind of intro that needs to happen. Yeah, you're just knocking, but maybe you knock and say hello. I agree with this vinyl.

Brian Green (3:03)

Yes.

Chrissy Hoadley (3:03)

And so let's get to know each other.

Brian Green (3:05)

That's what I'm asking. Like, okay, let's put ourselves in this situation. Let's assume for one minute that we are swingers. You and Jeff and me and Astrid. Not us. Like, you know what I'm saying? We're swingers, right? Not that we're gonna swing together. Settle down, Jeff. I can see Jeff, like, throwing his phone out the window right now. You're never going back there again. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial Commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

Chrissy Hoadley (3:44)

Best you, Brian.

Brian Green (3:44)

Best you out there. In the podcast universe, I'm just scrolling through the old TCV melator phone over here with all of our text messages and phone calls. And there is a. There's someone who's been texting the show for a very long time. Won't give away the name in case they don't want it shared. But they told me a couple of. Or they told the phone a couple of weeks ago that they were going to be going on a cruise. And so the response was send pics. Right? You know, hey, share the pics. See what I want to see what's doing over there on that cruise. Well, the only pic that I've gotten so far is a picture of a cruise door with an upside down pineapple.

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Upside Down Pineapple Fake"

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: May 23, 2025
Theme: Modern Swinger Culture, Podcasting Mishaps, and Etiquette in the Era of Unsolicited Nudes

Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy dive deep (with plenty of improvisational tangents and irreverent humor) into the world of swingers and the now-ubiquitous symbol of the upside-down pineapple—sparked by a listener’s cruise pic. What unfolds: a hilarious and sometimes cringey exploration of swinging etiquette, the not-so-glamorous behind-the-scenes world of podcast magazine features, unsolicited nudes, and the importance of clear consent. They weave in personal stories, pop culture sidebars, and TV recommendations, creating a patchwork of comic commentary about modern relationships, boundaries, and podcasting culture.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Upside-Down Pineapple & Swinger Signaling (04:00–15:00)

Listener sends TCB a cruise ship door photo featuring an upside-down pineapple.
Bryan and Krissy riff on the legend: pineapple as the "universal symbol for ground and pound" (04:20), representing openness to swinging.
Speculation on swinger etiquette—especially on cruises:
- "Do you just, like, knock on somebody's door? Can I dick down your wife? I saw the pineapple." – Bryan (06:16)
- General agreement that there must at least be an introduction or invitation for a drink before any action.
Packing essentials for a "swingers cruise": blow-up pineapples included.

Notable Quotes:

Bryan: "It's the universal symbol for ground and pound. Baby, polyamory!" (04:20)
Krissy: "Well, I would think that there's some kind of intro that needs to happen." (06:36)

2. Swinger Experiences & Protocols (12:00–16:00)

The etiquette of attending swinger parties:
- You generally can't show up solo as a male except with prior approval.
- Bryan recounts that at sex parties, single guys needed to be vetted, often via background checks or by being "special approved dudes" (12:15).
- Acknowledgement of the importance of keeping "creepers out"—approval, background checks, and respectful boundaries.
Majority of “watchers” at these gatherings are men.

3. Clubhouse, Podcast Magazine & Getting (Sort Of) Propositioned (13:26–22:00)

Flashback to the COVID-era heyday of the Clubhouse app.
Bryan and Krissy reminisce about being featured in Podcast Magazine—initial excitement turning into a weird, suggestive experience with the interviewer.
Interviewer’s inappropriate comments and attempts at initiating swinging.
- "He mainly talked about Chrissy's boobs and then asked a couple of questions of us." – Bryan (20:22)
- Unsolicited topless photos from the interviewer and his wife.
The realization that Podcast Magazine wasn’t the big break they hoped, but rather, a bizarre footnote in their podcast journey.

Notable Quote:

Bryan: “What it really was was like, an insert in the Penny Saver where you're wearing skimpy lingerie. That's really what it was.” (18:37)

4. Consent and Nude Photo Etiquette (30:49–35:20)

Unsolicited nude pics—swinger or not, totally not cool.
"Pre-authorization" is officially the rule.
- "You say, would you like to see a pic of my dick? And they say yes, then you’re good to go." – Krissy (31:13)
Bryan shares an anecdote about receiving explicit photos unexpectedly from a friend—emphasizing the importance of context and invitation.
- “No pre-authorization, no conversation. Literally a cold text message of your willy hoo hoo...” (35:25)

5. More Pineapples, Neighborhood Codes, & Club Symbol Hopes (38:12–40:44)

Discussion of swinger communities using subtle codes ("clearance for landing").
Upside-down pineapple now the mainstream symbol; calls for new secret symbols.
Local stories—Atlanta-area golf community Publix where shopping-cart pineapples act as a swinger signal.
Bryan laments the absence of cool secret-society signals for their podcast fanbase: "I want to have something cool like that." (40:34)

6. True Crime & TV Talk Interlude (42:17–55:00)

Quick detour into the wild details of the Diddy trial (42:17–46:30):
- Explosions, orgies, drugs, lots of lube, and alleged abuses.
- Commentary on celebrity power, abuse, and downfall.
Poly family docuseries: two moms, two dads—the mundaneness of it all as the shock wears off.
"The Pit" TV review (47:11–52:00): new favorite medical drama for both hosts. Praised for realism and technicality—Noah Wyle wins MVP.
Other show recs: "Sex Sent Me to the ER", "The Studio", "Tacoma FD", "Gemstones", plus a heartfelt tribute to "Cheers".

Notable Quotes:

Bryan: “It ended up being a soap opera at the end of the day. There was a lot of technicality to ER also...this is far from that.” (48:48)
Krissy: “My favorite's the head nurse.” (50:00)

7. RIP George Wendt (Norm from Cheers) (57:56–62:00)

Warm eulogy for Norm as a comedy icon and the comedic impact of "Cheers".
The hosts reminisce about the show's timeless relevancy and appeal to multiple generations.
"He had a place in my heart. So George went, RIP buddy. Thanks for all the laughs." – Bryan (61:34)

8. Full Circle – Call for Swinger Tips & Audience Participation (62:09–)

Back to the pineapple theme: wants to hear from real swingers!
“If you’re a swinger, what are the rules of the road?... I’d like to figure out how I get involved in all this. If I make a decision to go into it, I don’t want to do it like we did with podcasting and end up on Podcast Magazine...” – Bryan (62:14)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

Bryan, on swingers cruise decor: "Honey, did you bring the blow up pineapple? Because I need to put it upside down." (08:04)
On unsolicited pics: "Do not send unrequited nude photographs to anyone for any reason...unless it’s one of those spam texters. Then send them elephant penises." (32:51, paraphrased)
On swinging protocol: "I know that when I went to a swingers party, a sex party, that it was not okay to come in alone as just a single guy unless you had been pre-approved." (12:01)
On etiquette: "It's just etiquette...wait for someone to ask for it. Or ask for it. But don't do that, like, on the third conversation." (31:49)
On club symbols: "I want to be in a secret code club, you know? ...Like, cheesecake slice a cheesecake upside down, like a triangle." (40:29)
Krissy, on podcasting fame: "We were toddlers. It's like you start off walking through the jungle and you're scared of everything." (16:43)
On Cheers: "Norm, the character, has a place in my heart. I think it was formative in my comedy." (61:34)

Important Timestamps

Swinger Pineapple Discussion: 04:00–12:00
Swinger Party Protocols: 12:00–16:00
Podcast Magazine/Clubhouse Swinger Anecdotes: 13:26–22:00; 24:58–30:49
Unsolicited Pics & Consent Riff: 30:49–35:20
Neighborhood & Symbol Codes: 38:12–40:44
Pop Culture/TV Tangents: 42:17–55:00
RIP Norm Tribute: 57:56–62:00
Swinger Call to Action: 62:09–end

Summary

This episode is a quintessential “Commercial Break” ride—beginning with a single, wild listener text, spinning out into a comic thinkpiece about swinging etiquette, the hazards of half-baked podcasting fame, condoning only consensual sharing of nudes, and closing with pop culture nostalgia and TV recommendations. The underlying message: Even in the chaos and jokes, clear communication and boundaries matter—whether you’re a podcast host, a swinger on a cruise, or just a sitcom fan missing Cheers. Above all, Bryan and Krissy keep it weird, relatable, and “just FINE”—with the best comedic pineapple energy around.

Call for listener input:
If you’ve got swinger insights or stories, or know The Next Secret Symbol (or just want to talk TV), text or call them at 212-4333-TCB.