Very Old School!

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode: Very Old School!
Date: June 18, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Overview

In "Very Old School!" Bryan and Krissy riff on the odd nostalgia of aging frat consultants, the quirks of college town life, the wild logistics (and costs) of modern Disney vacations, and a viral debate over “body count” in relationships. With their signature irreverent, meandering banter, they mine personal experience and pop culture—touching on everything from legendary Athens, GA “townies” to why business conferences need later start times. There’s also a heartfelt tribute to a beloved pet and some meta-comedy about the podcast’s modest social media milestones.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fraternity Consultant Legend (01:44 – 14:33)

• Bryan’s Insta Obsession:
  Bryan describes following an older man’s Instagram—“Alabama Fraternity Consulting, LLC”—who’s built a career guiding college students through fraternity/sorority life.
• Bryan:

  “He’s 50, 55 years old, and all of his Instagram is filled with him at fraternity and sorority parties, bars in Alabama. That’s it... He’s reliving his glory days as an 18 to 22 year old. That’s all he does.” (03:24)

• Krissy’s Take:
  Krissy wonders about the creep factor but admits the students seem to love the guy:

  “I think I would feel weird if I was the kid at the party.” (04:55)

• Both hosts compare him to campus “townies” and share stories of people who never quite left college life.
• Bryan’s friend became a successful bar owner in Athens, GA—“least likely to do anything in life”—who now runs “The World Famous.”

2. College Towns & Walmart Festivities (14:34 – 21:48)

• The hosts discuss the fraternal consultant’s “legendary” status in the Greek system and riff about sorority prep (“There are lots of women who do this for women... but this guy lives on campus, you know he does.” —07:17).
• Shifting gears, they revisit a listener’s email about Bentonville, AR and its reputation as a college-like festival town during Walmart Associates Week.
• Krissy:

  “According to Reddit, you haven’t lived until you’ve been to this party.” (15:18)

• Bryan:
  “Working people are our people... Bentonville probably represents the—one of the largest employers out there. I would love to go.” (16:59)
• Both joke about attending the event as a “spring break” for grown-ups.

3. Why Business Conferences Suck (17:43 – 21:48)

• Bryan and Krissy lambast early-morning conference sessions designed to “curb your drinking.”
• Bryan:

  “The worst part about a conference...is the shitty fucking motherfucking schedule that the dumb ass organizers put together to curb your drinking.” (18:02)

• They sketch out their ideal conference—start at 10am, finish early, plenty of naps, lots of free time, and really minimal content (“Attendee capacity, five people. You have to pay for everything.”—21:48).

4. Pet Loss & Podcast Community (23:03 – 26:37)

• The hosts pay tribute to Rachel’s recently deceased cat, Zena.
• Bryan:

  “That’s the deal that you make. It’s like the unspoken agreement between you and a pet...” (23:13)

• Krissy adds:

  “They become a part of the family, for sure.” (24:18)

• Bryan shares comedic tales of cat-sitting while being allergic, and their close knit relationship with Rachel.

5. Relationship Talk: The “Body Count” Debate (26:37 – 35:40)

• Prompted by an Instagram post from “Call Her Daddy,” Bryan rails against insecurity over a partner’s sexual history.
• Bryan:

  “It’s probably the most childish thing that you can be concerned about, sweat over, be jealous of, is someone else’s sexual history past.” (27:22)

• Krissy agrees, calling it “Major insecurity.” (27:47)
• They discuss a new TLC show about older virgins and muse on preferences and expectations.
• Bryan’s secret to a happy relationship:

  “Know which hills to die on. That’s it. There is a lot of stuff...my wife does that is bothersome to me...I put it out of my head. Because that’s not a hill worth dying on.” (31:17)

6. Entitlement, Outrage and Social Media (35:40 – 38:14)

• The hosts reflect satirically about modern entitlement—from outrage over minor slights (“He disrespected me!”) to escalating tribalism in politics and everyday life.
• Bryan:

  “We get so upset so quickly over the dumbest of fucking shit. And maybe it would be good for all of us... Know which hills to die on. That’s it. Just let some stuff go. It’s okay.” (35:40)

• Nostalgia for the days when religion and politics were not dinner-table conversation—“It was considered gauche. You just didn’t do that.” (35:42–36:13)

7. Disney World Rant: The Logistics of “Fun” (39:46 – 53:08)

• Bryan is prepping for a multikid Disney trip and lampoons how complicated visits have become:
• Bryan:

  “Disney is not in the business of theme parks...They are in the business of crowd management. They are in the business of logistics.” (41:11)

• Old-school FastPass systems have been replaced with labyrinthine apps, advance planning, and pay-to-play “Lightning Lane” upcharges.

  “You now have to plan every minute of every day, all the time, or you will not get on any rides.” (40:24)

• Krissy is baffled by the complexity:

  “I’m picturing like Six Flags...you show up whenever and then you kind of just mingle.” (43:00)

• Discussion of hiring Disney vacation planners—women who get perks and commissions from Disney in exchange for detailed trip planning.
• The challenges of costs and crowd dynamics:

  “With so many children, I don’t know. This might be the one and only trip we ever, ever take. It depends on the fate of The Commercial Break.” (48:34)

• Both joke about parents’ (and kids’) entitlement, with Disney as a microcosm of the world’s “everyone thinks they’re the king of England” syndrome (51:30).
• For comparison, Mr. Beast’s $1,000,000 private Disney night gets a mention:

  Krissy: “They think they’re Mr. Beast who just rented out Disney for a million dollars.” (52:40)

8. Social Media Annoyances & Podcasting “Fame” (53:08 – 54:52)

• Bryan mocks Instagram “celebratory” graphics for reaching 6,500 followers:

  “We get this holy shit notice...If you think for one fucking second...you love us...Now you want us to share that we’re losers? Fuck you.” (54:21)

9. Family Vacations: Hype vs. Reality (54:49 – 56:38)

• Bryan regrets telling his kids too early about their Disney trip:

  “Guess what, kids? We’re going to Disney World in two years.” (55:39)

• They wrap up with a reminder: for all the stress, family adventures are worth it for the memories—and photos.
• Bryan:

  “All the drama, all the stress, all the planning, the driving, the heat, all of it...will have all been worth it...because I will have 3,000 photographs of my children at Disney World.” (55:51)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “He’s a man of the land...South Georgia Shawn, wearing nature’s crown.” —Narrator, musical cold open (00:03)
• “It’s a little weird to be this old and have an Instagram filled with you at parties with kids that are inappropriately young for you to be hanging out.” —Bryan (04:13)
• “It’s the business of finding friends...Bama Rush was one of my favorite television shows because it showed just how ridiculous the business of finding friends is.” —Bryan (05:56)
• “If you really like somebody, just deal with the body count. It’s okay. And if you don’t wanna know...don’t ask the question.” —Bryan (33:17)
• “No one’s gonna unfuck people. You know what I’m saying?” —Bryan (33:16)
• “Know which hills to die on. That’s it... There’s a lot of stuff my wife does...I put it out of my head...because that’s not a hill worth dying on.” —Bryan (31:17)
• “Disney is not in the business of theme parks...they are in the business of crowd management.” —Bryan (41:11)
• “All the drama, all the stress, all the planning, the driving, the heat, all of it...will have all been worth it at the end because I will have 3,000 photographs of my children at Disney World.” —Bryan (55:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:03: Musical cold open
• 01:44: Fraternity consultant Instagram discussion
• 04:55: Creep factor and townie talk
• 09:18: Legendary Athens bars & townies
• 14:34: Walmart in Bentonville & “college town” party
• 17:43: Conference schedule rant
• 23:03: Tribute to Rachel’s cat Zena & reflections on pet loss
• 26:37: “Body count” conversation—relationship insecurity riff
• 35:40: Outrage, entitlement, and social media toxicity
• 39:46: Disney World trip logistics, costs, and planning dance
• 51:30: Riff on Mr. Beast’s private Disney night and modern entitlement
• 53:08: Instagram follower “milestone” mockery
• 54:49: Family vacations—the struggle and payoff

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Tone & Style

The banter is raw, affectionate, and sharply observational, true to the show’s “irreverent escape” vibe. Bryan and Krissy blend self-deprecating humor, personal anecdotes, and rants laced with just enough pathos to anchor the chaos. Their conversational style is fast, loose, and peppered with explicit language and quick, affectionate digs.

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For listeners new and old, this episode is a crash-course in TCB’s comedic ethos—amiably cynical about modern adulthood, wistful for simpler times, but always game to find the absurdity in every slice of life.

Transcript

[Narrator]

South Georgia Shawn He's a man of the land Crawling through the swamps with his trusty hands Alligators, Lurkin but he ain't scared Raccoons and snakes they know he cares He's a trapper of the wild he won't back down in the heart of the south he's the talk of the town He's a trapper of the wild he won't back down South Georgia Sean Wearing nature's crown. With a banjo in his truck and a grin ear to ear he talks to the critters like they're family here Got possums in a line like they're waiting for a show Come on, y', all, it's trap time let's put on a rodeo He's a trapper of the wild Wearing rubber boots Sliding through the mud ain't got time for suits He's a trapper of the wild Living life real loud South Georgia Sean he makes the swamp proud. South Georgia Sean Got his truck filled with bait he's got a six pack cooler and it's never too late Crawling under porches he's got mud on his face A raccoon wears his hat in a wild game of chase He's a trapper of the wild Makes the best out of scraps With a laugh and a quip you can hear the slaps He's a trapper of the wild Singing songs to the pine South Georgia Sean he's one of a kind.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know what I just thought has been driving me crazy is you, pledge.

[Brian Green]

You pledge.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes. The mail. Pledge.

[Brian Green]

Oh, pledge and rush. Got it. Okay. So pledge. So yeah, you pledge. You get in. You don't. I imagine you apply for a lot of them. Probably three or four, five, six, all of them. Me, I would probably do all of them because there'd be zero chance I'd get into.

[Chris Hoadley]

Whoever takes me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, whoever takes me, I'd be a Gamma Gamma Phi. Was the guy from the nerds. Delta Delta Gamma Gamma or whatever. Delta Gamma Phi. That'd be me. I'd be the. He's like. He's like that guy from old school. He started his own fraternity in his bedroom and now he can just hang. Now he's the coolest guy on campus. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. I am watching an Instagram account that I've been watching for a while because my Instagram is fucked up.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, it is. It's all over the place.

[Brian Green]

I love it. I love it. We got like a lot of new followers on Instagram, a lot of interactions going on on our Instagram because we started rolling out clips from the TCB's, endless day, the big birthday bas, and a lot of people interacting and reacting to Tig Notaro and Ricky Lindholm, who was not part of the Endless Day, was supposed to be part of the Endless Day, Michael Ian Black, stuff like that. So I've been spending a lot of time on Instagram, just like kind of, you know, bouncing around and interacting. There's a guy that's been on my Instagram, my personal Instagram. I followed him for a couple of years and I forget the name of the business. It's not the name of a person. It's like Alabama Fraternity Consulting, LLC. And he's 50, 55 years old, and all of his Instagram is filled with him at fraternity and sorority parties, bars in Alabama. That's it. In the middle, he's consulting, he's in the middle of the fray. 18 to 22 year old women, 18 to 22 year old guys. He's drinking, he's funneling, he's fuzzing, he's fucked up and he's pitching you his business. And that business is don't go it alone. I can help you get into the fraternities. I can tell you what to do, what not to do, what to wear on the first day of Rush, what to wear on the first day of whatever they call the male version of that. What is it called? Is it called Rush for males? It's a bid. It's bidding. It's bid day or something, okay? This guy's entire life is reliving his entire life, his glory days as an 18 to 22 year old. That's all he does. I don't know how I feel about it. I kind of feel like, dude, really, it's a little weird to be this old and have an Instagram filled with you at parties with kids that are inappropriately young for you to be hanging out.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think I would feel weird if I was the kid at the party.

[Brian Green]

They love him, okay? He's. They fucking love him. He's a legend. He doesn't look like a legend. I'm not knocking the way the guy looks. I'm not saying I look any better, but I'm saying he doesn't look like he would have made it in the first place. Do you know what. Do you know what I'm saying? This is what I'm saying. He doesn't look like a typical for fraternity kind of guy, but he just. Weekend after weekend, day after day, week after week, it's him either talking in his phone. I imagine he's got, like, a Toyota Corolla in his Toyota Corolla driving down the street. I got a phone call. 13 out of 20 bid on the first go. Who you gonna call? Alabama Fraternity Consulting. And I'm like, wow, that's a weird.

[Chris Hoadley]

Pitch for your business for, like, the University of Alabama.

[Brian Green]

It is for the University of Alabama. He is.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, Got that Greek Greek life down there, huh?

[Brian Green]

It's wild. It's wild.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're the ones that had the show on. Right.

[Brian Green]

On Netflix. Bama Rush. Bama Rush was one of my favorite television shows because it showed just how ridiculous the business of finding friends is. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I think had I been a different human in a different body with a different mindset, had I at all been cool enough to be in a fraternity and additionally gone to a campus where they had a fraternity, I probably. I might have been differently. I might have thought differently. I'm not saying it's good or bad.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I probably would have done it if I had gone to a school where I didn't know anybody, but I happened to go to a school where I knew a bunch of people.

[Brian Green]

Knoxville, Alabama fraternity Consultant. You see this guy? All right, look, he's at. He's at the bar without a bed. You didn't know where to go.

[Narrator]

You didn't know what to do.

[Brian Green]

Man, you should have called me. You should have called me. But. So it's just endless, endless feeds of him in his car, pitching. But then. But then he's at the parties.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's, like, on the stage.

[Brian Green]

He's on the stage.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

With all the hot girls and guys. Unbelievable.

[Chris Hoadley]

Looks like he's having fun. Although that is what Instagram is. Is portraying yourself.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, if you're the fraternity consulting guy, you're not going to have a boring Instagram. No, he's hit on him. He's got a niche now. Listen, there are a lot we saw in Bama Rush, the show. We saw that there are lots of women that do this for women, right? There's a lots of women that help them prep on how to get into the right sorority, what to Say what to do. No, no. But I mean, this guy lives on campus, you know. He does, yeah. He probably lives in some apartment, some old rusty crusty apartment he's had. 1972. Yeah. And he's just. He never. He couldn't shake the life. I have a friend who lived, who went and moved to Athens. Never went to uj, Came from Texas. This is my good friend, my wild friend that we did all this wild shit with as a teenager, including buying pounds of cocaine and catching, you know, playing cops and robbers out the side of my house. He moved to Athens when he was 22, 23, 24 years old. He just went up there because he wanted. He liked the campus life. When he was in Texas, he didn't get a taste of the campus life, but he liked to be on the University of Texas campus. So he fell in love with UGA and all it had to offer in the music scene and the whole nine yards. Gorgeous. So he became what they call here, a townie. That's what they call him if you live in Athens. Pass your expiration date, you're a townie. But guess who else is a townie? Half of Widespread Panic. Michael Stipe from REM the guy from Cracker. I mean, these people, they live up there because they love the town of Athens.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it is just one big fraternity and sorority party going on 24 hours a day. He loved it so much that he opened a bar in the middle of downtown and then opened additional bars as it went along. So he kind of became like a little townie entrepreneur, my friend did. I would have voted him least likely to do anything in life. And he managed, now has one of the most successful, best reviewed bars in all of.

[Chris Hoadley]

You have to tell me what bar that is.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you. It's called the World Famous.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

It's called the World Famous. It's great name for a bar. To the World Famous. Going to the World Famous. Going to World Famous. Yeah, Right across the street from 40 watt. So he gets a lot of that crowd, comes in there. He's got a little music room. He puts on shows. He had. What's that, what's that band? Milk. Something about Milk. Mother's Milk. Not Mother's Milk, but I can't remember the name of the band. They were famous for a minute in the 2000 and something. They had Milk in there. Yeah. But I went up there one night and the place that you couldn't have fit another human being in there. It was packed because the singer from this band they had reunited for a couple of nights. They played the 40 watt and then the singer did like a special thing there. It was packed and everyone seemed very excited that this guy from this milk band was there. And I didn't know what the fuck anybody was talking about. Anyway, listen. What a life to live. What? If you're going to live one life, let it be the one where you're acting like an 18 year old for the rest of your life.

[Chris Hoadley]

I guess so.

[Brian Green]

I'm not sure. I'm not sure I approve. Like, if that's my son or daughter and they're hanging out with the AM Alabama fraternity consulting dude, I'm not sure I'm putting my stamp of approval on it. But if I take myself out of, you know, if I take my equation, the parent equation or the just generally being a decent human being equation for a minute, I'm saying, why not live your best life, dude. Yeah. As long as you're not being inappropriate with any of these.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Essentially the creepy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, don't be the creepy old dude. Just don't do that. You're already kind of the creepy old dude just by choice of your profession. Just don't take it to the next level. Like, you shouldn't be hitting on the girls, but the kids seem to love him. He takes pictures of them all the time. They're always like calling him a legend.

[Chris Hoadley]

But when you're 18, maybe he's like the novelty legend.

[Brian Green]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. It's like that guy Paul that I used to hang out with as he was the painter boss during the Olympics. And he would say things like, you're at that age where you're scared of pussy. And we would all laugh at him. And now, many years later, I'm like, he was absolutely right about that. Still am. Still am. Still don't know what they do. Whatever happened to Paul, I don't know. He can't be alive. He cannot be alive. That's true. But he was just this tiny little painting company, come paint your house and he'd hang on ladders afraid of nothing. Kind of a dweeby little guy. But we always used to think of Paul as like a legend. He was like, you know, he's a legend. Well, he wasn't really a legend. He was just a guy who said weird stuff that would drive us from party to party. So, you know, I think that's kind of where the Alabama fraternity guy consulting, he's got that energy, like, he's harmless. So that makes me believe that There's a good chance he might be harmless because if he was, like, actually creepy Alabama fraternity dude, I don't think all these kids would be so enamored with him. You look in his comment section, there's like, you know, you're such a lead.

[Narrator]

You're the dude.

[Brian Green]

You got me in. My brother's brother loves you, blah, blah, blah, come visit, you know, whichever college.

[Chris Hoadley]

How he, like, gets them in. I mean, is it again, like, with the women where it's the way you dress and the things you do and say, or is he like. He's got connections?

[Brian Green]

I think it's both, probably. Yeah. I think you're. You're not going to get in just because, you know. Alabama fraternity consulting guy. I don't even know his name, but you're not going to get in just because you know him. But there helps. It helps like if you're on a track to get into a fraternity and it's going to go one guy or the other guy, and you use this dude, you know, who knows? There could be bribes or kickback. This could go deep. This could be a conspiracy level. Yes. And I wouldn't.

[Chris Hoadley]

Let's go with that.

[Brian Green]

Wouldn't surprise me at all. Wouldn't surprise me if this guy gets paid $10,000 to help a guy get into a fraternity and three of that goes to the fucking keg fund for. For the party. Right? And. Okay, cool. However. Yeah, it's not like, you know, I mean, we all treat it like, I don't know, it's the FIFA world cupboard. It's a fraternity, okay? Honestly, who cares? Okay? Somebody got in, somebody didn't. That's just. That's life. Learn that lesson early sometimes. You get in sometimes.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know what? I just thought. It's been driving me crazy. It's you, pledge, you pledge. Yes. The mail, pledge.

[Brian Green]

Oh, pledge and rush. Got it. Okay. So pledge. So, yeah, you pledge, you get in. You don't. I imagine you apply for a lot of them. Probably three or four, five, six. All of them. Me, I would probably do all of them because there'd be zero chance I'd get into.

[Chris Hoadley]

Whoever takes me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Whoever takes me, I'd be a Gamma Gamma Phi. Was the guy from the Nerds, Delta Delta Gamma Gamma or whatever. Delta Gamma Phi. That'd be me. I'd be the. He's like. He's like that guy from old school. He started his own fraternity in his bedroom and now he can just hang. Now he's the coolest guy on campus. I bet he Gets free drinks everywhere kind of stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Anyway, so I'm on a. I was watching a real. Before he came on, he was on a podcast. Like a podcast. There's a guy who does a podcast all about Alabama from Alabama. Like, and he's must be a student at Alabama. He looks that young. And he's on the, the podcast and the guy's treating him like, you know, Superman came on the podcast. I'm like, maybe we should.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's a legend.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe we should get him on. I'd like to ask. So, yeah, so, so, so many questions, for sure. Speaking of, like, should reach out college towns. We did this episode where we talked about Bentonville and we were very excited about the prospect that, you know, Walmart had this big associates party where all these huge A list singers and actors and whatever else show up and put on this big to do for the Walmart Associates, the Everyman, the Joe Schmoes and the Betty Boops that work in the stores helping us out, check out or stock the shelves or drive the trucks or whatever it is. And not the, the highfalutin billionaires that are running the company. And we got very excited and we thought, this must be a fucking party. Let us know.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, according to Reddit, you haven't lived until you've been to this party.

[Brian Green]

Three or four different people said the same version of the same sentence, which was, you haven't lived until you spent a week in Bentonville. Right. And so we said, hey, if anybody's ever been to Bentonville or knows about this, you got to write in. And somebody did. A guy named Craig wrote in and like loosely knows the commercial break. I'll just put it that way. I don't know if Craig has given up the goose here, but Craig says Bentonville essentially is a college town there. I think the. Maybe the University of Arkansas is near there. I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Brian Green]

Essentially is. And lots of people come in town for the Walmart Associates week. It's essentially like a big festival, a very well run conference where in fact the public can stay and play. I mean, I don't think everything. I don't think you're going to go to the concert.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

You're not going to Benson Boone or what?

[Chris Hoadley]

You're going to go to the breakout session.

[Brian Green]

No. Yeah, yeah, you are going, you are going to be in the projections meeting. But, but cool that you can just kind of show up and do a.

[Chris Hoadley]

Little dance party around the festivities, show up at the bar, show up at the Restaurants. We could do the podcast from out there. I mean, I would think that they're gonna have the Walmart studios.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're gonna have the whatever studio, Walmart podcast studios that they've started to roll out. Only in one place in Tennessee so far, but I'm sure it'll get there. But I really did think to myself, I mean, listen, I, you know, we had this conversation. I'm not cucking for Walmart. They're not a sponsor. No one's giving us money to say.

[Chris Hoadley]

This, but we just want to go for the party.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Working people are our people. Trust me. That is, that is the vibe of the commercial break. This we're not a crypto bro show. You know what I'm saying? We don't have people in Miami who live in multimillion dollar condos are not listening to the commercial break. They're listening to a different kind of show. And you know, which show, I don't need to say it out loud, but that we're the working man and woman show. And Bentonville probably represents the. One of the largest employers out there. I would love to go to Bentonville during the week.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm telling you, we need to put it on the calendar.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and I don't want to go.

[Chris Hoadley]

It'll be our spring break.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, exactly. I want to go to Bentonville for a spring break. I don't want to go for the breakout sessions for the projections meetings. I want to go for the bars at night.

[Chris Hoadley]

This seems like actually the best kind of conference we could have ever gone to. I mean, you know, you've been to plenty, I've been to plenty. And the sucky thing about them is having to think about work.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Freaking breakout sessions. Now it's just all party, all the time. We can nurse our hangovers in the day, party at night with the rest of the people.

[Brian Green]

I love this idea. The worst part about a conference, and anyone who's ever been to a conference will know this is the shitty fucking motherfucking schedule that the dumb ass organizers put together to curb your drinking. If you don't think for one second that the organizers of every business conference ever, no matter which industry you work in, say to themselves, we have to have the first breakout session at 7:15 in the morning. And free breakfast from 5:30am to 7am is so that you don't stay out till 2:30 in the morning drinking, you're fooling yourself. Because that's exactly what they're doing. And let me tell you.

[Chris Hoadley]

And that's exactly what you're doing and.

[Brian Green]

That'S exactly what you need to do. Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

And it does. Well, I'm gonna say that's exactly what I'm. No matter what time in the morning, you're still gonna party.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then you're just gonna be.

[Brian Green]

So how many conferences have we rolled through to the morning? Yes. I say to myself from 11 to 3pm My boss is going to be in highfalutin corporate executive meetings and that is when I will be in the hotel room sleeping with my phone right next to me so I can text back and say, oh yeah, I'm in a networking event. I had a special meeting with this new client we're trying to.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

I have a million of them. Yes. I've been to so many. I went to so many podcast conferences that I could look at at the name of the breakout session and I could certainly pretend as if I was there and probably get 90% of the conversation correct because I just knew it. And we've all been there in whatever industry you work in.

[Chris Hoadley]

Team building.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Launch a podcast. Why are you at launch a podcast? I listen. I'm just trying to keep my finger on the pulse. I don't know, who cares? I wasn't. I was upstairs sleeping off my hangover. That's what I was doing. I was buying weed down the street. You did.

[Chris Hoadley]

In Vegas.

[Brian Green]

I did. First weed store I've ever been to. Listen, that's the way it is. I look forward to the day when we can all just be adults and go to a conference where the first breakout session starts at 11:30 in the morning.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Because then that's we all look forward to. We're all drinking on the company dimensions. We know it. Why fool ourselves? Let's just get started at 11:30. That way everyone's bright eyed and bushy.

[Chris Hoadley]

I would say 10, maybe 10. And then, you know, you just, you do a little work for an hour, break for lunch for like three hours, come back, have another breakout and then you're done.

[Brian Green]

Perfect. Chrissy got it licked. 10 to 10:15. Good morning. Breakout session, 10:15 to 3:15 nap time and lunch 3:15 to 4:00pm Just get, show us all the slides you have to show us right now. That's right. Free dinner from 5 to 7, bus to the local bar and then after party and then rinse and repeat. And then also let's do conferences. Not, you know, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. So you got to get in there on Sunday night. Let's do it Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday. That's right, those three days. That way you can take off work Monday and Friday to pack and recover and then you have the whole week and essentially you get a week off.

[Chris Hoadley]

We figured it out.

[Brian Green]

We figured it out for you. When the commercial break conference happens or we have our first cruise or what, you know, breakathon or whatever's going on, don't you worry. There will be no official events that happen before 3pm in the afternoon, nor will there be any that happen after 3:30pm so you guys are good. Meet and greet from 3 to 3:30. If we say hello, great. If we don't, don't worry about it. Attendee capacity, five people. You have to pay for everything.

[Chris Hoadley]

Commercial break conference can't wait.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to say, speak endlessly into the void like Brian. Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials. Hecommercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we were just talking about our Rachel, the beautiful woman who does our voiceover work for us, who's like that we call the voice of God on the commercial break. So she does all the liners and stuff like that. And she had to put one of her cats down, Xena, over the weekend. And yeah, that is heart wrenching and heartbreaking and anyone who's ever been through it will know. And we were sharing. Something I've been saying for a long time is that's the Deal that you make. It's like the unspoken agreement between you and a pet of any nature, of any kind. Unless you're keeping an elephant as a pet or a turtle as a pet or maybe a parrot as a pet. The deal is, I'll feed you, I'll house you. I'll keep you warm and safe from the big bad world, and I'll take you to the doctor when you need, when you get sick, and I know it, and I'm able to do that. And then you just give me love. That's it. That's all I'm asking for, a little love. But then the second part of that agreement is it's highly likely that you will not outlive me. I will have to be there at the end. And that's tough. It is the toughest thing in the world. I mean, it's not the toughest thing in the world, but it is very. It's close to the toughest thing in the world. And a lot of us treat our animals like children.

[Chris Hoadley]

Absolutely. No, they become a part of the family, for sure.

[Brian Green]

Of course they do. They're a part of the family. They're a part of your events and your activities. They're in your pictures, your photos. Yeah. And like dogs, you know, cats can be a little bit different depending on which cat you have. But I was telling Rachel when I was texting with her my condolences, that Rachel and I have lived less than a quarter of a block away from each other in three different places. How that happened, I don't even know. But it just kind of randomly happened. But we lived down the street when we first started to know each other, and she went out of town for. On a couple vacations, and she asked me if I could take care of her cats while she was gone. Well, I am dead, deathly allergic to cats. Cats are not my thing. But I love these cats. They were really cool.

[Chris Hoadley]

She got it when they were little kittens. They were so cute.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but they were more like monkeys. They'd, like, swing off the chandelier. Yeah, that's a kid.

[Chris Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It was up in the rafters. It was, like, in the air conditioning vents. It was like the cats were all over the place, and they were the cutest things. And I took care of those cats on a number of occasions. I was so concerned about those cats that one time she left for, like, a day. I needed to go take them out one time, and when I got there, the doors were locked and she forgot to put the key Outside and I was freaking out about these cats that were not mine. But I love these cats and I didn't want them starve. I just, I never forget that they were like sitting in the kitchen window. She had like this screened in patio and I could get into the screened in patio and she was sitting. They were sitting in the kitchen window, like pawing at the window. And I was like, oh my God, I gotta get in here somewhere. I had to call a locksmith to get in the door. It's a weird conversation to have with a locksmith. Luckily he wasn't too plussed about it. He was like, ah, whatever, I'll just open the door. He's like, do you have paperwork? And I'm like, paper, bro. I don't know. Paperwork for these cats. Anyway, Xena, to you. Farewell, my child.

[Chris Hoadley]

She's in the. She's in the spirit world.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's in the spirit world with my cat. It was your cat. With a lot of our animals. With Nico, with all the others that we've, you know, Nico, with Nacho, with Jordan, with all the other animals that we've all. To all the dogs we've loved.

[Chris Hoadley]

To all the dogs and cats we've loved before.

[Brian Green]

That's right. And cheer. Here, here. And cheers to your many happy passings. Many happy blessings. Nico, I can still smell you and I love you very much.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nico doesn't smell anymore.

[Brian Green]

No. Unbelievably, the dead dog smell went away when the dog actually died. No pun intended. I back on the Instagram track. Yes, I recently followed Alex Cooper and call her daddy. The commercial break did and up flipped a post that I thought was very interesting and worthy of conversation. She took a letter from a listener that basically said it was a woman. And the woman was saying, my boyfriend is really upset about my body count, right? And he can't get over how many.

[Chris Hoadley]

People you slept with.

[Brian Green]

How many people you slept with. And I wrote a comment that got a lot of response where I basically said it's probably the most childish thing that you can be concerned about, sweat over, be jealous of, is someone else's sexual history past. It's redonkulous.

[Chris Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Green]

A 3 year old would worry about this. A 15 year old would worry about this. Not a man, Not a real man. Sounds like a boy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Major insecurity.

[Brian Green]

Huge insecurity. And what does it fucking matter? Relationships are built on the new memories, as I put in the comment, the new memories that you forge moving forward, not the conversations about who you slept with before and Alex made the point that I've slept with people and I can remember every single one of them. I can mostly remember every single one of them that I've slept with. And that's true. And I know Astrid can too. I'm not asking her to recall that while we're having sex, nor do I care. I understand that my wife had a sexual history before I showed up. And that doesn't bother me one bit because that's just a reference point in her life, a space and time. It's a pin in space and time. And it's really silly to even. I mean, to ask the question. Okay, if you really want to know the answer, sure, I'll give it to you. If I even know. If I even know it. But even keeping track of your body count, it's kind of silly to me. After four or five, it's like, who fucking cares anymore? Like, what's the difference? Yeah, we all have a history. It doesn't really matter because that's not why you're in the relationship. To talk about someone else's sexual escapades previous to you showing up at the front door.

[Chris Hoadley]

Depending on how. What age you are, I think it's a good thing. I mean, you want to have somebody that has some kind of experience before you and maybe knows what they want a little bit more, has been had what they didn't, like, had what they like. They're able to tell you that then. And also the person's not pining away, like, oh, what did I miss out on?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, correct. That's a good way of thinking about it. Like, let someone show up with a few miles on the car. Because you just.

[Chris Hoadley]

Depending on what age you are.

[Brian Green]

Depending on what age you are. Okay, let's be clear about that. Depending on what age you are. But someone shows up to your door, there's a new show on tlc. Because of course, leave it up to fucking tlc.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of course.

[Brian Green]

There's a new show on TLC that I have not watched, but I've seen clips of called the Virgins. And it's all these guys and girls who are well into their 30s or 40s who are virgins. And the one clip I saw was a notable and consistent reaction. On first dates, as soon as the person mentions they are a virgin, you know what that reaction is? See you later. Oh, out of here. Because. And part of me thinks, oh, that's harsh. Like, that's a little harsh right now. Okay? But I can kind of understand, like, I don't want to be Your first. At this age, I just don't want to be. Because you never forget your first. And I was 15 when I had my first. I never forgot my first. Imagine I'm 50 and I'm looking for my first. Like there's a certain level of attachment that's gonna come there. And second of all, maybe it is. Again, doesn't matter the body count. But maybe it is. Okay. If someone shows up and they've kind of shaken some stuff out of their system, they know what they want, they know what they don't. I mean, to just be. To sweat it is so bumbling stupid, it's not even funny. It shows how immature you really. How emotionally immature.

[Chris Hoadley]

You really insecure.

[Brian Green]

Insecure. Go to a tantra conference. You go to a tantra conference and the body count is like 70 million. Yeah. There could be four people in the room.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

I'm telling you. Yeah, it's going to be 70. It's going to be 80 million by the time you leave. You just don't ask. If you don't want the answer, don't ask.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Brian Green]

I have dated some people. I am 90%, 99% sure. The body count far surpassed my body count. But it's not a game and it's not a race, and I don't care. It doesn't matter. If you're going to have a conversation about sexual history for safety purposes, to make sure you're having safe sex, to make sure you're into the same things, to make sure that their sexual past aligns with whatever values you have or morals you want in your life. Cool. But don't get upset about it. Don't be a douche. Don't be a douche. This is a good lesson for the kids out there, right? When you get into your 20s, like your mid-20s, start. No, I've said this a lot on this show, and I think this is the secret to a good relationship. And I'm about to let you in on it. Know which hills to die on? Yeah, that's it. That I have figured it out. Kids. Know which hills to die on. There is a lot of stuff, and I mean a lot of stuff that my wife does that is bothersome to me, that I don't care for, that I wish she wouldn't do. Say whatever. I don't care. I put it out of my head as soon as it comes into my head because that's not a hill worth dying on. It's not. I'm not going to tell her that brushing her teeth in that manner makes me upset. It doesn't fucking matter. She's a human being. She can brush her teeth however she wants to. Right? Sleeping with the mailman while we're married, that's a hill you might want to consider dying on.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, that's the big deal.

[Brian Green]

How she cooks chicken nuggets. I don't give a fuck if you cook them in the air fryer or the microwave. It doesn't matter to me. I think when I was young, I didn't know which hill to die on.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's so true.

[Brian Green]

So every hill I died on and that became death by a thousand paper cuts, right? So know which hills to die on. And this is not the one. Because you can't change it.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No one's gonna unfuck people. You know what I'm saying? So if you really like somebody, just deal with the body count. It's okay. And if you don't wanna know, if it's gonna make you. If it's gonna make you upset, if you're gonna get jealous, if you're that kind of twinkle toes, if it's really. If you're really that sensitive about how many people someone has slept with, don't ask the question. Just don't live with it. Pretend that you know it. Pretend that it's one and you are the one. Just do that. How's that? Yeah, I mean, honestly, when I. When I saw the post, it. It kind of like got under my skin a little bit. I was like, wow, we're still. We're still worried about that stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, there's still very many insecure people out there.

[Brian Green]

I know it. I know it.

[Chris Hoadley]

I feel bad for them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It seems like. It seems like we are all so concerned about every little thing. It's like zero to a hundred in a second, right? Everything is a reason for everybody to be upset. I mean, maybe I consume too much social media and I probably consume too much social media, but you just watch these reel after reel or clip after clip of people going to. From zero to a hundred over the stupidest stuff. It's like he disrespected me. Disrespected you? Is that a thing? Is it a thing? Don't. Just don't worry. Just go somewhere else. Just do something else. Go do something else. You know, it's my parking spot. You're entitled to the parking spot because you showed up first. Is that the law of the land?

[Chris Hoadley]

People are definitely on edge. And I have to say, I mean, we're kind of in that political environment, I think, which bleeds into other areas of your life.

[Brian Green]

I do think you're right about this. I think that, that the politics has either one. One or the other. I can't. The chicken or the egg, I'm not. Can't figure out what. But by osmosis, the tribalism and the entitlement and all that stuff has just soaked directly into our bones and. And I can say sometimes I'm guilty of the same thing. I'm not immune to all of the tribalism either. Right. But it's like we get so upset so quickly over the dumbest of fucking shit. And maybe it would be good for all of us to learn the lesson not only about relationships, but about life. Know which hills to die on. That's it. Just let some stuff go. It's okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Good theory.

[Brian Green]

I said to my friend, I said, I wish we could go back to a time, because I remember it when I was a kid, you would not ask my father who he voted for because he would not tell you. And I was his child and he would not tell me. Now I know who he voted for, but now that I'm adult, I know who he voted for, but I still wouldn't ask him to this day. Because politics was not something that was talked about. It was considered gauche. You just didn't do that. You didn't talk about politics and mixed company. It just wasn't something that you did.

[Chris Hoadley]

Religion and politics.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Religion and stay away from this.

[Brian Green]

Those two are not dinner time conversation and they never were. And even though we went to church, we didn't talk about religion, Even though we watched, you know, the nightly news, you didn't talk about politics. It's not what you did. And so I wish we could go back to a time. And I know, listen, I know that, that in 2025, some political decisions and religious decisions, they like, actually affect our lives. And so we get very upset by that. I'm not saying ignore it either, but I just wish there was a little bit more like sanity in the way that we handle this. And, you know, I understand that political violence also has been like a. It's been a staple of American history. This is not new political violence. You know, over the weekend, some terrible murders happen. You know, we're all quick to run and figure out who did it and how they felt about the world around them so that we could either score one for us or score one for them. But we have to remember that there were like mothers and fathers and human beings that. That lives were affected. Doesn't really matter who scores. What the reality is, is that we're all just, like, way too hot about this. And it. I think it goes back to something honestly, as simple as getting really upset about how many people somebody slept with. That's a dumb thing to get upset about. All of it is. All of it is. So anyway, I'm on my soapbox and I should get off of it. I got a throaty thing happening. Am I getting sick the week before I decide I'm gonna go on vacation? That's always what happens. As soon as I decide I'm going on vacation, I get sick. That's it. Cancel the vacation. No Disney kids. Oh, my God.

[Chris Hoadley]

That would not work.

[Brian Green]

We had to start planning our Disney vacation. Like, you have to, like, figure out every minute of every day and put it into an application spreadsheet or something. Yes. Or you're never going to go on any rides. Spreadsheet. It's like a billion dol dollar Oracle application.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Listen, I'll go on this rant. Let me. Let's take a break and then I'll go on this rant. I'll share with you. We'll turn it to something a little more lighthearted. But anyway, honestly, just one last note. My hearts go out to the. To the folks in Minnesota because what a terrible tragedy. I don't care who the dipshit voted for. It doesn't really matter. At the end of the day, the people and I would say this. No matter what political affiliation the victims had, it's a terrible, terrible thing. All right, we'll be back. We'll talk about something. Not that. All right.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us in reply, then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing, and I think you'll be great at it. 212-12-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message, too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] the commercial break. Now I'm gonna go back to that texting game. You want to play? Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

So we're getting ready to go on this Disney vacation.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And you know, I don't even know. I don't even know where to start with this. We like Disney. I've been to Disney more times than you've been to Disney. I can guarantee it. I'm not saying you, I'm saying you, the listener guarantee, and me and you and all of you put together. I've been to Disney a lot. It's something that my parents did for us when we were kids. The only kind of vacation we took when we were kids. And we didn't take. We didn't go on. We didn't go every year, but we went quite a bit. And that was the only vacation we ever took. We never went to, like, the beach or like, you know, go sightseeing. We went on a cross country trip and we went to Disney.

[Chris Hoadley]

Disney.

[Brian Green]

That's it. That's the only two places we went. So for us, that was kind of like our whole purview. If we were going to have fun and relax, we were going to Disney. That's what we were doing. Disney World down in Florida. And so. And as an adult, I've continued to go. I like it. I think it's cool. But the more that I. The more that I go, and anybody who's been to Disney will know this. The more that you have gone, the more modern. Disney is not the Disney of yay. It is not. Because you cannot just show up at Disney World and have a good time. You now have to plan every minute of every day, all the time, or you will not get on any rides. That's the way it is. So now Disney used to be that back in the day, I don't know, this probably started in the 90s. They would put these little boxes in front of the rides. It was called a fast pass.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

It was an invention by the Disneyland, the Disney World organization. Because when you think about it, I realized this on a trip with Astrid when we were dating. Like, we went on a Disney trip when we were dating. And I realized something. Disney is not in the business of theme parks. They are not in the business of hotels. The Disney World, like Sphere Universe. Yeah, the Disney World, Disneyland. Like, I'm talking about the theme parks, right? They are not in the business of rides. They're not in the business of concessions. They are in the business of crowd management. They are in the business of logistics. That's what they do. They have to figure out how you get, get you from point A to point B in the way and they in the way in which they want you to do that. And then they extract your American Express from your wallet every time you get there and do that efficiently and do it in a way where you want to rinse and repeat every time. And that way, if you like the experience and they do it efficiently enough, then they can continue to raise the prices every year and you will come back every time. They do a lot of things really well. They do some things I don't think so well. But at the end of the day, anybody who's been to Walt Disney World and likes Disney in general believes that that's a place they want to go back to. And the kids buy into it because that's how they get you. They start you young. When I was in my teens and twenties and I started going there on my own, I could literally show up at the front door, buy a ticket and go. You could show up to a ride, you could press a button, out would come a ticket, that ticket would say you'd be back between three and four o'clock and you can go in the back door and we'll get you on the ride just as soon as possible.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's what I'm picturing like I love Six Flags.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

And so that's what I'm picturing, you know, is like that. Yeah, you show up whenever and then you kind of just mingle around the park and see what you want to ride and wait in the virtual line.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's Six Flags for you. But you know, the Six Flags in Disney have two distinct experiences.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're right. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And you know, you're could get stabbed at Six Flags. It's probably not going to happen at Walt Disney World. Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, I'm just sharing stabbings at Six Flags.

[Brian Green]

Oh, don't you remember there's like a shooting here a couple of years ago, was there? Oh, a couple shootings, yeah. I mean, listen, Six Flags I think is generally a cool place too, but it's just two, two different.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of course. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But then you don't spend the night at Six Flags. I mean, I guess you could, but you wouldn't really want to. But so now they have this billion dollar Oracle app that they've rolled out where you have to a week ahead of time. If you're staying on the property, then you can plan, all of you plan three or four rides per park. That, that, that, that bop bop. The day before you show Up. So today's the day we have to get up and plan every bit. Every bop, every twist, every turn and our vacation. And we have 17 children, most of which don't even speak yet. And we have no fucking clue what's going to happen. I've been just me and Astrid and we have no clue what's going to happen. We think that we can be at one park and make it over to dinner, the next park, in 45 minutes, but we don't really know that that's what's going to happen because kids are unpredictable and humans are too and no one fucking really knows, but Disney demands that of you or you will lose. How will you lose? You will have to stand in the regular lines and that can be on average two to three hours long if you go and stand in line for two to three. See, the thing is, now you have to upgrade and buy these extra passes, right? These lightning lane passes. I'm not saying this is a terrible idea because I don't really know they're in the business of logistics. I am not. I am in the business of paying them to be in the business of logistics and then begging American express to take $12 a day out of my pocket until I can pay them back. But the reality is, is like you have to have to pay to make sure that you can get on these rides in a decent amount of time. Because if you don't pay, you're not playing the game that everybody else is playing. And you will certainly wait in line much longer than you otherwise would have. Does that make sense?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Let me explain. If I go to Space Mountain, the roller coaster, the world famous roller coaster inside of the Magic Kingdom in Disney World, the one that's in the dark that's been there since 1920.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I remember. That was my favorite.

[Brian Green]

It is my favorite still my favorite years later. Right? It's a silly little ride, but everyone loves it. That wait, that regular line. Just go wait in line. Hey, we're walking around Disney. What do we do? Space Mountain. Okay, let's go. Wait in line can regularly be over two hours long. Two hours long. That's two hours. That's two episodes of the commercial break. So if I go there and I just wait in line. Okay, I'm waiting two hours. I've now wasted from 10am to noon just standing there waiting for a three in a half minute ride. But if I spend the extra whatever to get the lightning lane pass, I can go in the quick line and Maybe I wait 15 minutes, maybe. But if I don't buy that. Then everybody else in the park, the 50% of the people in the park who are paying that extra money are getting the most out of their vacation, while the rest of us are spending two to three hours per ride just waiting on them. How many rides can you get in in a day if you're waiting two to three hours?

[Chris Hoadley]

No, you can, like two, three, four.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. And that's. If you spend the entire day there, it's going to be 1,000 degrees down there. You think I want to spend every minute of the day down there? No, from 12 to 2, I want to be at a cabana drinking a frosty shit arena. That's what I want to do. So therefore, you have to play the game. Because if you don't play the game, you're not going to get the most out of the experience you just literally sold sperm for.

[Chris Hoadley]

The tickets are expensive, right?

[Brian Green]

They're very expensive. It's hundreds of dollars a day. Once you add the lightning thing on there and, you know, you plan it all out. And then if you get a Ed package or, you know, a Mickey Snacky package, if you get the Nicky Snacky package, you're spending a couple hundred dollars a day per person. That's without the hotel room. It's incredibly expensive. And I'm not saying it shouldn't be. I don't know. Maybe it should be. Maybe that's the way they.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, supply and demand.

[Brian Green]

Supply and demand. That's right. There was this, like, overarching argument during the pandemic when Disney started reopening the parks after they closed for about a month from COVID They would let just a few people in, and they started slowly ratcheting up their prices. And people were saying, holy shit. It's like really getting expensive. But the people who are going to the parks were like, wow, we can get on a lot of rides. We can do a lot of things. It's not as crowded as it was just two years ago. You couldn't even. The Magic Kingdom was regularly closing the front doors because no more people could fit in.

[Chris Hoadley]

More capacity.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And there are hundreds, if not thousands of hotels in the Orlando area where people just fly in. They stay at other hotels. Disney doesn't know they're coming. They show up at the front door, they buy a ticket, and guess what? They can't get in because it's closed, because the fire marshal says no more pp. Listen, here's the reality. Disney had to do something. So what did they do? They raised prices in the Hopes that some people that can't quite afford it would drop off and decide not to show up at the front door and they could still make the money that they needed to make. It's a game that they're playing and is it the wrong one? I don't know. It's capitalism at work. I don't know if it's wrong or if it's right. But I'm not particularly excited and I will continue to go to Disney if I can afford it. And with so many children, I don't know. This might be the one and only trip we ever, ever take. It depends on the fate of the commercial break. It really does. It might or might not be the first and last trip that we take to Disney World. But at the end of the day, if I'm going to go, I mean I must, I need to play the game because I'm not going to take all these twiddlings down there and not, not go on at least six rides in a day. It's just not going to happen because then why else the am I going to go to see how pretty Disney World is? It's a lot of money to spend to see some flowers in the shape of a Mickey. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean it seems like a lot. Think about.

[Brian Green]

It's a lot. That's why we. I didn't hire her because you don't hire her. But there's all these mainly women. I'm sure there are men out there that do this too. But there are a lot of women who are stay at home moms, I would imagine because that's what they target. They target stay at home moms that know the Disney World layout. Disneyland, Disneyland Paris, Disneyland Tokyo, wherever it is. And they are certified Disney vacation planners. And what they do is they will for free help you plan your vacation up to and including making reservations for dinners for rides and all this stuff. Well, what's in it for them? What's in it for them is they get vacate huge vacation discounts. Disney often brings them down there for free vacations to show them new rides, show them how to do things.

[Chris Hoadley]

Specific Disney travel agent.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And Disney kicks back the money to them, right. So they get access, I think to Disney. They get a commission and stuff like that. So for the first time ever, I could walk into any of those parks down there in Florida with and you could blindfold me and I promise you I could figure out where I was going. The first time ever. For the first time ever, we Said, let's get a Disney vacation planner because this is getting a little too calm. This is getting a little out of hand. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

So anyway, so figures I'd probably be getting sick, number one. Number two, you know, we're gonna go down there and we're gonna see what happens. I'll. I'll certainly keep you abreast. Oh, you know that. Oh, it's gonna be good. Listen, I'm also watching a lot of park videos as we lead up into this, just to kind of take the temperature, no pun intended, of what's going on down there. And, and it's also, you know, the world. Disney isn't. Disney World is not immune to the world. And a lot of people are getting revved up down there about a lot of different things. Yeah, people go in there, they're all fussy and angry because they spend all this money and then they got somebody walking in front of them and cutting them off. And why are you driving that stroller like that? And I demand this, and I deserve that. The problem is the entire fucking world thinks that goddamn king of England. And that's the problem. I have my own issues. I can get a little fussy when I'm driving.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think you might need to take an edible before you go. Go.

[Brian Green]

Before I go down to Disney, I, I don't get hot like that. Like, I, I don't. When I go out in the world, I'm. I'm not like that. I mean, I certainly get frustrated at things people do, but I'm not one to start vocalizing.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

To get in fights, to get upset. That's not me. And I hate when people disrespect customer service agents unless the customer service agents are acting like real assholes. That's a different story altogether, but highly unlikely you're going to find that down at Disney World. But people, they just get so entitled. It's like they, they think they have to have something that everybody else can't have because they are the grand poobahs of whatever nation they came from.

[Chris Hoadley]

They think they're Mr. Beast who just rented out Disney for a million dollars.

[Brian Green]

Disney World or Disneyland? It was Disneyland, maybe. Disneyland. A million dollars?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes. For one night. For a date.

[Brian Green]

For a date. Uh huh huh. Well, that's what you get when you're the billion dollar YouTube creator. We are the 32 cent YouTube creators.

[Chris Hoadley]

We're the penny creators.

[Brian Green]

We are the penny creators. And I can't wait.

[Chris Hoadley]

The dime store, if you will.

[Brian Green]

No we are the dime store. What was funny is. Is that we were talking the other day about. Oh, we were talking the other day about tipping to ensure promptness, which is not really what tip stands for, but this is what this guy said to me. Right? Tip is like an old pirate word or something. I don't know. And insure is spelled with an e. I know that. I understand. Insure is to, like, ensure your car. Ensure is to make sure something happens. Right. I get that. I understand it. I'm just telling a funny story that a guy. The guy did when I was at a restaurant. Okay. All right. So our Instagram and our YouTube went crazy, right? This reel's getting shared and all this other stuff, and then we get to 6,500 followers, which is no feat whatsoever at all. Kim Kardashian has 162 million followers, and we have 6,500. But we get this holy shit notice from Instagram. It's like, you've reached 6,500. We put together a story for you. Make sure you share it. Like, through the years, here's your best reel. Your account is growing, and I'm like, if you think for one fucking second insta. All of a sudden you love us. You've showed us no attention whatsoever. And then all of a sudden, we get Dink. One extra follower. That gets us to 6,500. And now you want us to share that we're losers. Fuck you. Fuck you. That was so stupid. I was like, the hell I'm gonna share this. Fuck no.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well. But thanks to whoever that 6500 person was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Jenny Atttt, APPC. Thank you. Love you. All right, well, everyone settle down. We will be here next week, though. You'll hear new episodes, we think, anyway. Unless I'm sick, and then, I don't know. Roll the dice, I guess. Here we go. It always figures when you need to be. You're at your best, you're at your worst.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

That's the way it works.

[Chris Hoadley]

But stressful sometimes just to get to the vacation, you know?

[Brian Green]

Yes. And we should have never told the kids we were going. We should have never told the kids. The kids. Brian couldn't keep his mouth shut. That's my fault. That's me. That's on me. Astrid wanted to. Astrid said, don't tell him till, like, the day before.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, guess what, kids? We're going to Disney World in two years.

[Narrator]

Are we there yet?

[Brian Green]

Are we there yet?

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I can only imagine.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's okay. It's okay. Well, I'll figure it out. It's going to be a good time one way or the other. Then I'm watching this. Somebody put together a reel of kids meeting their favorite character down in Disney World to like a sappy song. Yeah, like freaking out, but like in a good way. Like hugging them, kissing them, like crying, you know, to this sappy song. It was like a minute and a half long reel. And I thought to myself, all the drama, all the stress, all the planning, the driving, the heat, all of it. And it will have all been worth it at the end because I will have 3,000 photographs of my children at Disney World. So if we never go again, kids.

[Chris Hoadley]

Remember when look through the photos. You're too young to remember. Well, you were there.

[Brian Green]

Listen. Yeah, I'm about to get priced out too. So don't feel so bad, all right? 212-4333 tcb 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We are taking them all. Or if you want to come see a live taping of the commercial break, we might be able to make that happen. We've. We already have people on the list, so let us know at the commercial break on Instagram YouTube.com the commercial break for all of the episodes the same day. They air here on the audio and tcb podcast.com for your free free tcb sticker. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you. I love you best to you. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye, Sam.