Very Old School!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "Very Old School!" (June 18, 2025)

Introduction

In the "Very Old School!" episode of The Commercial Break, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley delve into a variety of topics ranging from fraternity cultures and social media antics to personal anecdotes and the intricacies of planning family vacations. True to their signature chaotic and humorous style, Bryan and Krissy blend observational comedy with relatable discussions, offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into their quirky friendship and perspectives on modern life.

---

1. Pledge and Rush: Navigating Fraternity Culture

The episode kicks off with Bryan and Krissy discussing the often-frustrating process of pledging and rushing into fraternities. Bryan humorously reflects on the oversaturation of fraternity consultants on platforms like Instagram.

• Bryan Green [03:40]: "Do you know what I just thought has been driving me crazy? It's you pledge."

• Krissy Hoadley [03:40]: "You pledge."

Bryan elaborates on his skepticism towards fraternity consultants, highlighting an individual from Alabama Fraternity Consulting, LLC, who persistently promotes his services despite being considerably older than his typical clientele.

• Bryan Green [06:24]: "This guy's entire life is reliving his entire life, his glory days as an 18 to 22 year old. That's all he does."

The hosts critique the ethics and effectiveness of such consultants, questioning whether their influence genuinely benefits students or perpetuates outdated initiation practices.

---

2. Instagram Insights: The Persistent Fraternity Consultant

Bryan shares his observations of an Instagram account dedicated to fraternity consulting, run by a middle-aged man showcasing his regular attendance at fraternity parties.

• Bryan Green [06:50]: "He's a trapper of the wild wearing rubber boots, sliding through the mud... It’s him either talking on his phone."

Bryni and Krissy discuss the incongruity of an older individual thriving in a space typically dominated by young adults, pondering the impact of his presence on social media and his audience's perception.

---

3. Bentonville and the Walmart Associates Conference

Transitioning from fraternity culture, Bryan and Krissy explore the concept of Bentonville as a "college town" for Walmart associates. They ponder the idea of attending a conference that blends professional meetings with extensive social and party activities.

• Bryan Green [17:13]: "You haven't lived until you've spent a week in Bentonville."

The conversation touches on the potential for such conferences to be more about networking and partying than substantive professional development, with Bryan envisioning an ideal balance between work sessions and social gatherings.

---

4. Personal Stories: Love, Loss, and Friendship

A heartfelt segment unfolds as Bryan shares a personal story about taking care of Krissy's cats, highlighting their deep friendship and the challenges that come with pet ownership.

• Bryan Green [28:39]: "I took care of those cats on a number of occasions. I was so concerned about those cats that one time she left for like a day."

The duo reflects on the unspoken agreements between pet owners and their animals, emphasizing the emotional bonds and the inevitable grief that accompanies loss.

• Brian Green [27:55]: "And a lot of us treat our animals like children."

---

5. Relationship Insecurities: Debunking the Body Count Myth

Bryan and Krissy engage in a candid discussion about societal pressures surrounding the sexual histories of individuals in relationships. Referencing a listener's letter and a Reddit post, Bryan critiques the immaturity and insecurity manifested in concerns over a partner's "body count."

• Bryan Green [31:00]: "It's probably the most childish thing that you can be concerned about."

Bryni highlights the importance of focusing on building new memories rather than fixating on past relationships, advocating for emotional maturity and understanding in romantic partnerships.

---

6. Vacation Planning: The Disney Dilemma

The conversation shifts to the challenges of planning a family vacation to Disney World. Bryan expresses frustration with the meticulous planning required, contrasting it with the spontaneous fun he associates with past visits.

• Bryan Green [47:02]: "They are in the business of crowd management. They are in the business of logistics."

Crikey discusses the complexities of Disney's current reservation systems and the high costs associated with maximizing the experience through paid services like Lightning Lane passes. They humorously lament the loss of carefree vacationing in favor of structured itineraries.

• Krissy Hoadley [54:18]: "That's right. There was this, like, overarching argument during the pandemic..."

---

7. Social Media Growth: Navigating Online Milestones

Bryan and Krissy reflect on their podcast's social media presence, particularly hitting 6,500 Instagram followers. Bryan narrates his irritation with Instagram's promotional strategies, feeling undervalued despite their growing audience.

• Bryan Green [56:16]: "And we get dink. One extra follower. That gets us to 6,500. And now you want us to share that we're losers."

They discuss the pressures of maintaining an online presence and the often out-of-touch nature of platform-driven milestones, injecting their characteristic humor into the frustrations of digital engagement.

---

8. Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

As the episode winds down, Bryan and Krissy share lighter moments, including anecdotes about their experiences with customer service and the universal challenges of parenting and vacation planning. They reaffirm their commitment to providing relatable and entertaining content for their listeners, despite the chaotic themes discussed throughout the episode.

• Bryan Green [63:56]: "Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time..."

---

Conclusion

"Very Old School!" exemplifies The Commercial Break's blend of humor, personal storytelling, and sharp social commentary. Bryan and Krissy navigate a diverse range of topics with ease, offering listeners both laughs and thoughtful insights into the absurdities of contemporary life. Whether critiquing fraternity consultants or lamenting the complexities of Disney vacations, the hosts maintain an engaging and relatable dialogue that resonates with their audience.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bryan Green [03:40]: "Do you know what I just thought has been driving me crazy? It's you pledge."

• Bryan Green [06:24]: "This guy's entire life is reliving his entire life, his glory days as an 18 to 22 year old. That's all he does."

• Bryan Green [31:00]: "It's probably the most childish thing that you can be concerned about."

• Bryan Green [47:02]: "They are in the business of crowd management. They are in the business of logistics."

• Bryan Green [56:16]: "And we get dink. One extra follower. That gets us to 6,500. And now you want us to share that we're losers."

• Bryan Green [63:56]: "Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time..."

---

For those who haven't listened to this episode, "Very Old School!" offers a humorous and insightful journey through the hosts' perspectives on fraternity culture, social media dynamics, relationship norms, and the ever-evolving landscape of family vacations. Bryan and Krissy's chemistry and candid conversations make this episode a must-listen for fans of improvisational comedy and relatable podcast content.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by Pura this summer, take scent on the road with Puracar Pro. It's the smart, stylish car diffuser that lets you control premium fragrance from your phone. From commutes to weekend getaways. Elevate every drive and for a limited time, get 20% off Pura car Pro and all the car scents with code car 20. That's pura.com to lay claim to the big deal before it's gone. This episode is sponsored in part by Mint Mobile. Do you know what I find funny? Frustratingly funny. Like flat earth frustratingly funny. How much money we all pay for our cell phone bills every month? I look at that cell phone bill and I go that is for texting, scrolling and making a couple phone calls. Hasn't this technology been around for a while? Why am I paying so much? And why does it continue to get so much more expensive every year? I've reached my breaking point and I think this is a psychic sign that I need to switch to Mint Mobile. With plans Starting at just 15 dol a month, Mint Mobile gives you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G network. You get the same fast speeds and solid coverage that you're used to, but without the how is this so expensive moment. Each month, every single plan includes high speed data, unlimited talk and text. And here's the best part. You get to keep your phone, your number, your contacts and switching over to Mint Mobile. Totally painless. We have been using Mint Mobile for my in laws mobile service. When they come into town, I get to save real money without actually giving up anything that I'm used to. So this year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless [e-mail] tcb that's mintmobile.com tcb upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required. That's the equivalent of $15 per month. New customer offer for the first three months only. Then full price plan options are available. Taxes and fees are extra. See Mint Mobile for more details. South Georgia Sean He's a man of the land Crawling through the swamps with his TR alligators Lurkin but he ain't scared Raccoons and snakes they know he cares He's a trapper of the wild he won't back down in the heart of the south he's the talk of the town He's a trapper of the wild he won't back down South Georgia Sean Wearing nature's crown with a banjo in his truck and a griner to eat he talks to the critters like they're family here Got possums in a line like they're waiting for a show Come on, y' all, it's trap time let's put on a rodeo He's a trapper of the wild Wearing rubber boots Sliding through the mud Ain't got time for suits He's a trapper of the wild Living life real loud South Georgia Sean he makes the swamp proud South Georgia Sean Got his truck filled with bait he's got a six pack cooler and and it's never too late Crawling under porches he's got mud on his face A raccoon wears his hat in a wild game of chase He's a trapper of the wild Makes the best out of scraps With a laugh and a quip you can hear the slaps He's a trapper of the wild Singing songs to the pine South Georgia Sean he's one of a kind. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know what I just thought has been driving me crazy? It's you, pledge.

[Brian Green]

You pledge.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, the mail.

[Rachel]

Pledge.

[Brian Green]

Oh, pledge and rush. Got it. Okay, so pledge. So yeah, you pledge. You get in. You don't. I imagine you apply for a lot of them. Probably three or four, five, six, all of them. Me, I would probably do all of them because there'd be zero chance I'd.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get into whoever takes me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, whoever takes me, I'd be a Gamma Gamma Phi. What's the guy from the Nerds? Delta Delta Gamma Gamma or whatever. Delta Gamma Phi. That'd be me. I be the. He's like. He's like that guy from old school. He started his own fraternity in his bedroom and now he can just hang. Now he's the coolest guy on campus. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. I am watching an Instagram account that I've been watching for a while because my Instagram is up.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, it is all over the place.

[Brian Green]

I love it. I love it. We got like a lot of new followers on Instagram, A lot of interactions going on on our Instagram because we started rolling out clips from the TCB's endless day, the big birthday bash, and a lot of people interacting and reacting to Tig Notaro and Ricky Lindholm, who was not part of the Endless Day, was supposed to be part of the Endless Day. Mike Lee in Black, stuff like that. So I've been spending a lot of time on Instagram, just like kind of, you know, bouncing around and interacting. There's a guy that's been on my Instagram, my personal Instagram. I followed him for a couple of years and I forget the name of the business. It's not the name of a person. It's like Alabama Fraternity Consulting, LLC. And he's 50, 55 years old, and all of his Instagram is filled with him at fraternity and sorority parties, bars in Alabama. That's it. In the middle, he's consulting, he's in the middle of the fray. 18 to 22 year old women, 18 to 22 year old guys. He's drinking, he's funneling, he's fuzzing, he's fucked up and he's pitching you his business. And that business is don't go it alone. I can help you get into the fraternities. I can tell you what to do, what not to do, what to wear on the first day of Rush, what to wear on the first day of whatever they call the male version of that. What is it called? Is it called Rush for males or Bid? Is it bidding? It's bid day or something like that? Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

This guy's entire life is reliving his entire life, his glory days as an 18 to 22 year old. That's all he does. I don't know how I feel about it. I kind of feel like, dude, really, it's a little weird to be this old and have an Instagram filled with you at parties with kids that are inappropriately young for you to be hanging out.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think I would feel weird if I was the kid at the party.

[Brian Green]

They love him, okay? He's. They fucking love him. He's a legend. He doesn't look like a legend. I'm not knocking the way the guy looks. I'm not saying I look any better, but I'm saying he doesn't look like he would have made it in the first place. Do you know what? Do you know what I'm saying? This is what I'm saying. He doesn't look like a typical for fraternity kind of guy, but he just. Weekend after weekend, day after day, week after week, it's him either talking in his phone. I imagine he's got like a Toyota Corolla in his Toyota Corolla driving down the street. I got a phone call. 13 out of 20 bid on the first go. Who you gonna call? Alabama fraternity consultant. And I'm like, wow, that's a weird pitch for your business.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like the University of Alabama.

[Brian Green]

It is for the University of Alabama. He is.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, Got that Greek. Greek life down there, huh?

[Brian Green]

It's wild. It's wild.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're the ones that had the show on, right?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Bama Rush. Bama Rush was one of my favorite television shows because it showed just how ridiculous the business of finding friends is. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I think had I been a different human in a different body with a different mindset, had I at all been cool enough to be in a fraternity and additionally gone to a campus where they had a fraternity, I probably. I might have been differently. I might have thought differently. I'm not saying it's good or bad.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I probably would have done it if I had gone to a school where I didn't know anybody, but I happened to go to a school where I knew a bunch of people.

[Brian Green]

Knoxville, Alabama fraternity consultant. You see this guy? All right, look, he's at. He's at the bar without a bed. You didn't know where to go. You didn't know what to do. Man, you should have called me. You should have called me. But. So it's just endless, endless feeds of him in his car, pitching. But then. But then he. He's at the parties.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's, like, on the stage.

[Brian Green]

He's on the stage?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

With all the hot girls and guys. Unbelievable.

[Chris Hoadley]

It looks like he's having fun. Although that is what Instagram is. Is portraying yourself.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, if you're the fraternity consulting guy, you're not going to have a boring Instagram. No, he's hit on him. He's got a niche. Now, listen, there are a lot. We saw in Bama Rush, the show. We saw that there are lots of women that do this for women. Right. There's lots of women that help them prep on how to get into the right sorority. What to say, what to do. No, no. But I mean, this guy lives on campus, you know? He does.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

He probably lives in some apartment, some old rusty, crusty apartment he's had since 1972. Yeah. And he's just. He never. He couldn't shake the life. I have a friend who lived, who went and moved to Athens. Never went to uj, came from Texas. This is my good friend, my wild friend that we did all this wild shit with as a teenager, including buying Pounds of cocaine and catching, you know, playing cops and robbers out the side of my house. He moved to Athens when he was 22, 23, 24 years old. He just went up there because he wanted. He liked the campus life. When he was in Texas he didn't get a taste of the campus life, but he liked to be on the University of Texas campus. So he fell in love with UGA and all it had to offer in the music scene and the whole nine yards. Gorgeous. So he became what they call here, a townie. That's what they call him if you live in Athens. Pass your expiration date, you're a townie. But guess who else is a townie? Half of Widespread Panic. Michael Stipe from REM the guy from Cracker. I mean these people, they live up there because they love the town of Athens.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it is just one big fraternity and sorority party going on 24 hours a day. He loved it so much that he opened a bar in the middle of downtown and then opened additional bars as it went along. So he kind of became like a little townie entrepreneur. My friend did. I would have voted him least likely to do anything in life. And he managed, now has one of the most successful, best reviewed bars in all of you have to tell me.

[Chris Hoadley]

What bar that is.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you. It's called the World Famous.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

It's called the World Famous. It's a great name for a bar too. The World Famous. Going to the World Famous. Going to World Famous. Yeah, right across the street from 40 watt. So he gets a lot of that crowd comes in there. He's got a little music room. He puts on shows. He had. What's that, what's that band? Milk. Something about Milk. Mother's Mill. Not Mother's Milk, but I can't remember the name of the band. They were famous for a minute in and something. They had Milk in there. Yeah. But I went up there one night and the place that you couldn't have fit another human being in there. It was packed because the singer from this band, they had reunited for a couple of nights. They played the 40 watt and then the singer did like a special thing there. It was packed and everyone seemed very excited that this guy from this Milk band was there and I didn't know what the anybody was talking about. Anyway, listen. What a life to live. What if you're going to live one life, let it be the one where you're acting like an 18 year old for the rest of your life.

[Chris Hoadley]

I guess so.

[Brian Green]

I'm not sure. I'm not sure I approve. Like, if that's my son or daughter and they're hanging out with the amab, Alabama fraternity consulting dude, I'm not sure I'm putting my stamp of approval on it. But if I take myself out of, you know, if I take myself equation, the parent equation, or the just generally being a decent human being equation for a minute, I'm saying, why not live your best life, dude?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

As long as you're not being inappropriate with any of these.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Essentially, the creepy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, don't be the creepy old dude. Just don't do that. You're already kind of the creepy old dude just by choice of your profession. Just don't take it to the next level. Like, you shouldn't be hitting on the girls, but the kids seem to love him. He takes pictures of them all the time. They're always, like, calling him a legend.

[Chris Hoadley]

But when you're 18, maybe he's like, the novelty legend.

[Brian Green]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. It's like that guy Paul that I used to hang out with as he was the painter boss during the Olympics. And he would say things like, you're at that age where you're scared of pussy. And we would all laugh at him. And now, many years later, I'm like, he was absolutely right about that. Still am. Still am. Still don't know what they do.

[Chris Hoadley]

Whatever happened to Paul, I don't know.

[Brian Green]

He can't be alive. He cannot be alive. That's true. But he was just this tiny little painting company. Come paint your house, and he'd hang on ladders, afraid of nothing. Kind of a dweeby little guy. But we always used to think of Paul as, like, a legend. He was like, you know, he's a legend. Well, he wasn't really a legend. He was just a guy who said weird stuff that would drive us from party to party. So, you know, I think that's kind of where the Alabama fraternity guy consulting, he's got that energy. Like, he's harmless. So that makes me believe that there's a good chance he might be harmless. Because if he was, like, actually creepy Alabama fraternity dude, I don't think all these kids would be so enamored with him. You look in his comment section, there's like, you know, you're such a lead. You're the dude. You got me in. My brother's brother loves you. Blah, blah, blah. Come visit, you know, whichever college.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wonder how he, like, gets them in. I mean, is it again, like, with the women where it's the way you dress and the things you do and say. Or is he like. He's got connections?

[Brian Green]

I think it's both, probably. Yeah. I think you're. You're not going to get in just because, you know Alabama fraternity consulting guy. I don't even know his name, but you're not going to get in just because you know him. But it helps. It helps. Like if you're on a track to get into a fraternity and it's going to go one guy or the other guy and you use this dude, you know, who knows? There could be bribes or kickback. This could go deep. This could be a conspiracy level. Yes. And I wouldn't.

[Chris Hoadley]

Let's go with that.

[Brian Green]

Wouldn't surprise me at all. Wouldn't surprise me if this guy gets paid $10,000 to help a guy get into a fraternity and three of that goes to the fucking keg fund for. For the party. Right? And. Okay, cool. However you gotta do. Yeah. It's not like, you know, I mean, we all treat it like, I don't know, it's the FIFA world cupboard. It's a fraternity, okay? Honestly, who cares? Okay? Somebody got in, somebody didn't. That's just. That's life. Learn that lesson early. Sometimes you get in. Sometimes.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know what I just thought. It's been driving me crazy. It's you pledge, you pledge. Yes. The mail.

[Rachel]

Pledge.

[Brian Green]

Oh, pledge and rush. Got it. Okay. So pledge. So, yeah, you pledge, you get in. You don't. I imagine you apply for a lot of them. Probably three or four, five, six. All of them. Me, I would probably do all of them because there'd be zero chance I'd get into.

[Chris Hoadley]

Whoever takes me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, whoever takes me, I'd be a Gamma Gamma Phi. Was the guy from the Nerds, Delta, Delta Gamma Gamma or whatever. Delta Gamma Phi. That'd be me. I'd be the. He's like. He's like that guy from old school. He started his own fraternity in his bedroom and now he can just hang. Now he's the coolest guy on campus. I bet he gets free drinks everywhere and all kind of stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Anyway, so I'm on. I was watching a real. Before he came on, he was on a podcast. Like, a podcast. There's a guy who does a podcast all about Alabama. From Alabama. Like, and he's. Must be a student at Alabama. He looks that young. And he's on the. The podcast, and the guy's treating him like, you know, Superman came on the podcast. I'm like, maybe we should get. Maybe we should get him on. I'd like to. Of. So. Yeah, so, so, so many questions for sure. Speaking of like college towns, we did this episode where we talked about Bentonville and we were very excited about the prospect that, you know, Walmart had this big associates party where all these huge A list singers and actors and whatever else show up and put on this big to do for the Walmart associates, the Everyman, the Joe Schmoes and the Betty Boops that work in the stores helping us out, check out or, or stock the shelves or drive the trucks or whatever it is, and not the highfalutin billionaires that are running the company. And we got very excited and we thought this must be a fucking party. Let us know.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, according to Reddit, you haven't lived until you've been to this party.

[Brian Green]

Three or four different people said the same version of the same sentence which was you haven't lived until you've spent a week in Bentonville. Right. And so we said, hey, if anybody's ever been to Bentonville or knows about this, you gotta write in. And somebody did. A guy named Craig wrote in and like loosely knows the commercial break. I'll just put it that way. I don't know if Craig has given up the goose here, but Craig says Bentonville essentially is a college town there. I think the, maybe the University of Arkansas is near there. I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Brian Green]

Essentially is. And lots of people come in town for the Walmart Associates week. It's essentially like a big festival, a very well run conference where in fact the public can stay and play. I mean, I don't think everything, I don't think you're going to go to the concert.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

You're not going to Boone or whatever.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're not going to go to the breakout session.

[Brian Green]

No. Yeah, yeah, you aren't going. You are going to be in the projections meeting. But, but cool that you can just kind of show up and, and do.

[Chris Hoadley]

A little dance party around the festivities, show up at the bar, show up at the restaurants. We could do the podcast from out there. I mean, I would think that they're gonna have the Walmart studios.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're gonna have the whatever studio, Walmart podcast studios that they've started to roll out. Only in one place in Tennessee so far, but I'm sure it'll get there. But I really did think to myself, I mean, listen, I, you know, we had this conversation. I'm not cucking for Walmart. They're not a sponsor no one's giving us money to say this, but we.

[Chris Hoadley]

Just want to go for the party.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Working people are our people. Trust me. That is. That is the vibe of the commercial break. This we're not a crypto bro show. You know what I'm saying? We don't have people in Miami who live in multimillion dollar condos are not listening to the commercial break. They're listening to a different kind of show. And you know which show. I don't need to say it out loud, but that we're the working man and woman show. And Bentonville probably represents the one of the largest employers out there. I would love to go to Bentonvill during the week.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm telling you, we need to put it on the calendar.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and I don't want to go.

[Chris Hoadley]

It'll be our spring break.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, exactly. I want to go to Bentonville for a spring break. I don't want to go for the breakout sessions for the projections meetings. I want to go for the bars at night.

[Chris Hoadley]

This seems like actually the best kind of conference we could have ever gone to. I mean, you know, you've been to plenty, I've been to plenty. And the sucky thing about them is having to think about work.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Freaking breakout sessions. Now it's just all party, all the time. We can nurse our hangovers in the day, party at night with the rest of the people.

[Brian Green]

I love this idea. The worst part about a conference, and anyone who's ever been to a conference will know this is the shitty fucking motherfucking schedule that the dumb ass organizers put together to curb your drinking. If you don't think for one second that the organizers of every business conference ever, no matter which industry you work in, say to themselves, we have to have the first breakout session at 7:15 in the morning. And free breakfast from 5:30am to 7am is so that you don't stay out till 2:30 in the morning drinking. You're fooling yourself. Because that's exactly what they're doing. And let me tell you.

[Chris Hoadley]

And that's exactly what you're doing.

[Brian Green]

And that's exactly what you need to do. Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

And it does. Well, I'm going to say that's exactly what I'm. No matter what time in the morning, it's. You're still going to party.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then you're just going to be.

[Brian Green]

So how many conferences have we rolled through to the morning?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I say to myself, from 11 to 3pm My boss is going to be in highfalutin corporate executive meetings. And that is when I will be in the hotel room sleeping with my phone right next to me so I can text back and say, oh yeah, I'm in a networking event. I had a special meeting with this new client we're trying to. I have a million of them. Yes. I've been to so many. I went to so many podcast conferences that I could look at at the name of the breakout session and I could certainly pretend as if I was there and probably get 90% of the conversation correct because I just knew it. And we've all been there in whatever industry you work in.

[Chris Hoadley]

Team building.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Launch a podcast. Why are you at launch a podcast? I listen. I'm just trying to keep my finger on the pulse. I don't know, who cares? I wasn't. I was upstairs sleeping off my hangover. That's what I was doing. I was buying weed down the street. You did?

[Chris Hoadley]

In Vegas.

[Brian Green]

I did. First weed store I've ever been to. Listen, that's the way it is. I look forward to the day when we can all just be adults and go to a conference where the first breakout session starts at 11:30 in the morning.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Because then that's we all look forward to. We're all drinking on the company dine. We know it. Why fool ourselves? Let's just get started at 11:30. That way everyone's bright eyed and bushy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Time, I would say 10, maybe 10. And then, you know, you just, you do a little work for an hour, break for lunch for like three hours, come back, have another breakout and then you're done.

[Brian Green]

Perfect. Chrissy got it licked. 10 to 10:15. Good morning. Breakout session. 10:15 to 3:15 nap time and lunch 3:15 to 4:00pm Just show us all the slides you have to show us right now. That's right. Free dinner from 5 to 7, bus to the local bar and then after party and then rinse and repeat. And then also let's do conferences. Not, you know, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. So you got to get in there on Sunday night. Let's do it Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. That's right, those three days. That way you can take off work Monday and Friday to pack and recover and then you have the whole weekend, essentially you get a week off.

[Chris Hoadley]

We figured it out.

[Brian Green]

We figured it out for you. When the commercial break conference happens or we have our first cruise or what, you know, breakathon or whatever's going on, don't you worry. There will be no official events that happen before 3pm in the afternoon, nor will there be any that happen after 3:30pm so you guys are good. Meet and greet from 3 to 3:30. If we say hello, great. If we don't, don't worry about it. Attendee capacity, five people. You have to pay for everything.

[Chris Hoadley]

The commercial break conference can't wait.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10:00.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to. To speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials. He commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video. YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously. Axel needs food.

[Brian Green]

Food.

[Rachel]

Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy it is to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted. But in reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%. So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook. In that case, judge away. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Learn more at discover.com credit card this episode is sponsored by one of our favorites, five Hour Energy. Do you know what has always been missing from my life? A tiny, glowing bottle of fruity magic that makes me feel like I'm starring in my own 80s music video. Neon, big hair and fireballs. A blazing Enter five Hour Energy's new glow motion flavor. This stuff doesn't just taste like a fruity party. It looks like one too. It glows under UV light. Your energy shot is now part of your outfit. Functional and fashionable. We love a multitasker. And yes, it's got as much caffeine as a fancy coffee. But unlike that $7 latte, GlowMotion won't judge you for wearing glitter and yelling Woohoo. At appropriate times, of course. Oh, and yes, it has zero sugar, so it won't crash your vibe. Just 2 ounces of pure go, go, go. Perfect for the night owls, festival junkies, overachievers, and anyone who treats sleeps like a suggestion. Sound familiar? Five Hour Energy Glow Motion is available online. Head to www.5hourenergy.com to order yours today. That's FiveOurEnergy.com to order yours today. Thanks Five Hour Energy for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Yeah, we were just talking about Rachel, the beautiful woman who does our voiceover work for us, who's like that we call the voice of God on the commercial break. So she does all the liners and stuff like that. And she had to put one of her cats down, Xena over the weekend. And yeah, that is heart wrenching and heartbreaking and anyone who's ever been through it will know. And we were sharing. Something I've been saying for a long time is that's the deal that you make. It's like the unspoken agreement between you and a pet of any nature, of any kind, unless you're keeping an elephant as a pet or a turtle as a pet, or a maybe a parrot as a pet. The deal is I'll feed you, I'll house you, I'll keep you warm and safe from the big bad world. And I'll take you to the doctor when you need, when you get sick and, and I know it, and I'm able to do that. And then you just give me love. That's it. That's all I'm asking for, a little love. But then the second part of that agreement is it's highly likely that you will not outlive me. I will have to be there at the end. And that's tough. It is the toughest thing in the world. I mean, it's not the toughest thing in the world, but it is, is very, it's close to the toughest thing in the world. And a lot of us treat our animals like children.

[Chris Hoadley]

Absolutely. No, they become a part of the family, for sure.

[Brian Green]

Of course they do. They're a part of the family. They're a part of your events and your activities. They're in your pictures, photos, your whole life. Yeah. And like dogs, you know, cats can be a little bit different depending on which cat you have. But I was telling Rachel when I was texting with her my condolences, that, that Rachel and I have lived less than a quarter of a block away from each other in three different places. How that happened I don't even know. But it just kind of randomly happened. But we lived down the street when we first started to know each other. And she went out of town for. On a couple vacations and she asked me if I could take care of her cats while she was gone. Well, I am deathly allergic to cats. Cats are not my thing. But I love these cats. They were really cool.

[Chris Hoadley]

She got it when they were little kittens. They were so, so cute.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but they were more like monkeys. They'd like swing off the chandelier. Yeah, that's a kitten. Yeah, it was up in the rafters. It was like in the air conditioning vents. It was like the cats were all over the place and they were the cutest things. And I took care of those cats on a number of occasions. I was so concerned about those cats that one time she left for like a day. I needed to go take them out one time and when I got there, the doors were locked and she forgot to put the key outside. And I was freaking out about these cats that were not mine. But I love these cats and I didn't want them. I just, I never forget that they were like sitting in the kitchen window. She had like the screened in patio and I could get into the screened in patio and she was sitting. They were sitting in the kitchen window, like pawing at the window. And I was like, oh my God, I gotta get in here some. I had to call a locksmith to.

[Chris Hoadley]

Get in the door.

[Brian Green]

It's a weird conversation to have with a locksmith. Luckily he wasn't too plussed about it. He was like, ah, whatever. I'll just open the door. He's like, do you have paperwork? And I'm like, paper, bro. I don't know. Paperwork for these cats. Anyway, Xena to you. Farewell, my child.

[Chris Hoadley]

She's in the. She's in the spirit world.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's in the spirit world with my cat. With your cat. With a lot of our animals, with Nico, with all the others that we've, you know, Nico with Nacho, with Jordan, with all the other animals that we've all. To all the dogs we've loved before.

[Chris Hoadley]

To all the dogs and cats we've loved before.

[Brian Green]

That's right. And hear, hear. And cheers to your many happy passings. Many happ. Blessings, Nico. I can still smell you and I love you very much.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nico doesn't smell anymore.

[Brian Green]

No. Unbelievably, the dead dog smell went away when the dog actually died. No pun intended. Back on the Instagram track. Yes, I recently followed Alex Cooper and call her dad. The commercial break did and up flipped a post that I thought was very interesting and worthy of conversation. She took a letter from a listener that basically said it was a woman. And the woman was saying, my boyfriend is really upset about my body count, right? And he can't get over how many.

[Chris Hoadley]

How many people you slept with.

[Brian Green]

How many people you slept with. And I wrote a comment that got a lot of response where I basically said it's. It's probably the most childish thing that you can be concerned about, sweat over, be jealous of, is someone else's sexual history past. It's redonkulous.

[Chris Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Green]

A 3 year old would worry about this. A 15 year old would worry about this. Not a man, not a real man. Sounds like a boy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Major insecurity.

[Brian Green]

Huge insecurity. And what does it fucking matter? Relationships are built on the new memories, as I put in the comment, the new memories that you forge moving forward, not the conversations about who you slept with before. And Alex made the point that I've slept with people and I can remember every single one of them. I can mostly remember every single one of them that I've slept with. And that's true. And I know Astrid can too. I'm not asking her to recall that while we're having sex, nor do I care. I understand that my wife had a sexual history before I showed up. And that doesn't bother me one bit because that's just a reference point in her life. A space and time. It's a pin in space and time. And it's really silly to even, I mean, to ask the question, okay, if you really want to know the answer, sure, I'll give it to you. If I even know that. If I even know it. But even keeping track of your body count, it's kind of silly to me. After four or five, it's like, who fucking cares anymore? Like, what's the difference? Yeah, we all have a history. It doesn't really matter because that's not why you're in the relationship. To talk about someone else's sexual escapades previous to you showing up at the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Front door, depending on what age you are. I think it's a good thing. I mean, you have somebody that has some kind of experience before you and maybe knows what they want a little bit more, has been had what they didn't like. Had what they liked. They're able to tell you that then. And also the person's not pining away, like, oh, what did I miss out on?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, correct. That's a good way of thinking about it. Like, let someone show up with a few miles on the car. Because you just.

[Chris Hoadley]

Depending on what age you are.

[Brian Green]

Depending on what age you are. Okay, let's be clear about that. Depending on what age you are. But someone shows up to your door, there's a new show on tlc because of course, leave it up to fucking tlc. Of course there's a new show on TLC that I have not watched, but I've seen clips of called the Virgins. And it's all these guys and girls who are well into their 30s or 40s who are virgins. And the one clip I saw was a notable and consistent reaction. On first dates, as soon as the person mentions they are a virgin, you know what that reaction is? See you later. Oh, out of here. Because. And part of me thinks, oh, that's harsh. That's a little harsh right now. Okay? But I can kind of understand, like, I don't want to be your first at this age. I just don't want to be. Because you never forget your first. And I was 15 when I had my first. I never forgot my first. Imagine I'm 50 and I'm looking for my first. Like, there's a certain level of attachment that's gonna come there. And second of all, maybe it is. Again, doesn't matter the body count, but maybe it is. Okay, if someone shows up and they've kind of shaken some stuff out of their system, they know what they want. They know what they don't. I mean, to just be. To sweat. It is so bumbling stupid, it's not even funny. It shows how immature you. How emotionally immature you really are.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, insecure.

[Brian Green]

Insecure. Go to a tantra conference. You go to a tantra conference and the body count is like 70 million. There could be four people in the room. Okay, I'm telling you, it's going to be 70. It's going to be 80 million by the time you leave. You just don't ask. If you don't want the answer, don't ask.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Brian Green]

I have dated some people. I am 90% 90. 9% sure. The body count far surpassed my body count. But it's not a game and it's not a race, and I don't care. It doesn't matter. If you're going to have a conversation about sexual history for safety purposes, to make sure you're having safe sex, to make sure you're into the same things, to make sure that their sexual past aligns with whatever values you have or morals you want in your life. Cool. But don't get upset about it. Don't be a douche. Don't be a douche. This is a good lesson for the kids out there, right? When you get into your 20s, like your mid-20s, start. No, I've said this a lot on this show, and I think this is the secret to a good relationship, and I'm about to let you in on it. It know which hills to die on. Yeah, that's it. That I have figured it out. Kids know which hills to die on. There is a lot of stuff, and I mean a lot of stuff that my wife does that is bothersome to me, that I don't care for, that I wish she wouldn't do. Say whatever. I don't care. I put it out of my head as soon as it comes into my head because that's not a hill worth dying on. It's not. I'm not gonna tell her that brushing her teeth in that manner makes me upset. It doesn't fucking matter. She's a human being. She can brush her teeth however she wants to. Right? Sleeping with the mailman while we're married, That's a hill you might want to consider dying on. Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's the big deal.

[Brian Green]

How she cooks chicken nuggets. I don't give a fuck if you cook them in the air fryer or the microwave. It doesn't matter to me. I think when I was young, I didn't know which hill to die on.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's so true.

[Brian Green]

So every hill I died on, and. And that became death by a thousand paper cuts, right? So know which hills to die on. And this is not the one. Because you can't change it.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No one's gonna unfuck people. You know what I'm saying? So if you really like somebody, just deal with the body count. It's okay. And if you don't want to know, if it's gonna make you. If it's gonna make you upset, if you're gonna get jealous, if you're that kind of twinkle toes, if it's really. If you're really that sensitive about how many people someone has slept with. Don't ask the question. Just don't live with it. Pretend that you know it. Pretend that it's one and you are the one. Just do that. How's that? Yeah, I mean, honestly, when I saw the post, it kind of, like got under my skin a little bit. I was like, wow, we're still worried about that stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, there's still very many insecure people out there.

[Brian Green]

I know it. I know it.

[Chris Hoadley]

I feel bad for them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it seems like. It seems like we are all so concerned about every little thing. It's like 0 to 100 in a second, right? Everything is a reason for everybody to be upset. I mean, maybe I consume too much social media and I probably consume too much social media, but you just watch these reel after reel or clip after clip of people going to Z from 0 to 100 over the stupidest stuff. It's like he disrespected me. Disrespected you? Is that a thing? Is it a thing? Don't. Just don't worry. Just go somewhere else. Just do something else. Go do something else. You know, it's my parking spot. You're entitled to the parking spot because you showed up first. Is that the law of the land?

[Chris Hoadley]

People are definitely on edge. And I have to say, I mean, we're kind of in that. That political environment, I think, which bleeds into other areas of your life.

[Brian Green]

I do think you're right about this. I think that the politics has either one. One or the other. I can't. The chicken or the egg, I'm not. Can't figure out what. But by osmosis, the tribalism and the entitlement and all that stuff has just soaked directly into our bones. And I can say sometimes I'm guilty of the same thing. I'm not immune to all of those. The tribalism either, right? But it's like we get so upset so quickly over the dumbest fucking shit. And maybe it would be good for all of us to learn the lesson not only about relationships, but about life. Know which hills to die on. That's it. Just let some stuff go. It's okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Good theory.

[Brian Green]

I said to my friend, I said, I wish we could go back to a time, because I remember it, when I was a kid, you would not ask my father who he voted for because he would not tell you. And I was his child and he would not tell me. Now I know who he voted for. But now that I'm adult, I know who he voted for. But I still wouldn't ask him to this day because politics was not something that was talked about. It was considered gauche. You just didn't do that. You didn't talk about politics and mixed company. It just wasn't something that you did.

[Chris Hoadley]

Religion and politics, that's it. Religion and stay away from those.

[Brian Green]

Those two are not dinner time conversations and they never were. And even though we went to church, we didn't talk about religion. Even though we watched, you know, the nightly news, you didn't talk about politics. It's not what you did. And so I wish we could go back to a time. And I know, listen, I know that in 2025, some political decisions and religious decisions, they like, actually affect our lives. And so we get very upset by that. I'm not saying ignore it either, but I just wish there was a little bit more like, like sanity in the way that we handle this. And, you know, I understand that political violence also has been like a. It's been a staple of American history. This is not new political violence. You know, over the weekend, some terrible, awful murders happen. You know, we're all quick to run and figure out who did it and how they felt about the world around them. So that we could either score one for us or score one for them. But we have to remember that there were like mothers and fathers and human beings that, that lives were affected. Doesn't really matter who scores what. The reality is, is that we're all just like way too hot about this. And it, I think it goes back to something honestly as simple as getting really upset about how many people somebody slept with. That's a dumb thing to get upset about. All of it is. All of it is. So anyway, I'm on my soapbox and I should get off of it. I got a throaty thing happening. Am I getting sick the week before I decide I'm gonna go on vacation? That's always what happens. As soon as I decide I'm going on vacation, I get sick. That's it. Cancel the vacation. No Disney kids.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God, that would not work.

[Brian Green]

We had to start planning our Disney vacation. Like, you have to like figure out every minute of every day and put it into an application spreadsheet or something. Yes, or you're never going to go on any rides. Spreadsheet. It's like a billion dol dollar oracle application. Really? Oh, my God. Listen, I'll go on this rant. Let me. Let's take a break and then I'll go on this rant. I'll share with you. We'll turn it to something a little more lighthearted. But anyway, honestly, just one last note. My hearts go out to the. To the folks in Minnesota because what a terrible tragedy. I don't care who the dipshit voted for. It doesn't really matter. At the end of the day, the people and I would say this. No matter what political affiliation the victims had, it's a fucking terrible, terrible thing. All right, we'll be back. We'll talk about something. Not that. All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us in reply then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it.

[Brian Green]

Too much.

[Rachel]

212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] thecommercial break. Now I'm gonna go back to that texting game you wanna play. Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by Eat Clean. Okay, Eating healthy always sounds great. Like, in theory, we all wanna be the person who's chopping kale at 6am and meal prepping quinoa for the next week.

[Chris Hoadley]

But then reality hits. You're juggling work kit, kids, pets, and whatever existential crisis the Internet's throwing at you that day. Who's got time to wash lettuce?

[Brian Green]

Exactly. That's why we're seriously into this. It's called Eat Clean.

[Chris Hoadley]

Eat Clean is a chef prepared meal delivery service that actually lives up to the name Clean. Whole ingredients. No prep, no cooking, no mystery goo and plastic trays.

[Brian Green]

You literally just heat it, eat it, and go. It's portioned, it's ready to eat, and it shows up at your front door like a healthy little food fairy every single week.

[Chris Hoadley]

We tried it. The meals are actually good. Like shockingly good for something that takes.

[Brian Green]

Zero effort, it's been a total game changer. No more sad salads or giving up and ordering fries at midnight. This makes sticking to healthier choices way easier.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, and we Love this. Eat Clean is a woman owned small business. They're all about making clean eating affordable and realistic for real people with real lives like us.

[Brian Green]

Go to eatcleantogo.com and use the code pop pod50 for 50% off your first order. That's eclean2go.com code pod50 to get started today. And thank you to E Klean for being a sponsor of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored in part by Squarespace. Squarespace, the all in one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Squarespace does it all. We have used Squarespace. We have helped others use Squarespace. We are helping someone we know build their website with Squarespace. Squarespace is easy. It's all there. If you need design, Squarespace has AI tools to help you get cutting edge design. Even though you're not a designer who is real. Really, once you get that website up and running, you are going to need to be found. Search engine optimization is the name of the game and Squarespace has SEO tools built right in. Videos. It's the wave of the future, kids. Everyone, everywhere is doing videos. You need to do the same thing. You can showcase your expertise and engage with clients when you put video content on your website. Guess what? Squarespace makes it easy. And then once people find, find it and see those hilarious videos that you're putting on your website and are convinced that they need your product or service, a little change is going to need to exchange hands. How you going to do that? Payment tools. Those payment tools, they can be awful complicated, but Squarespace makes it easy. Head to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website, website or domain. Squarespace has long been a sponsor of the commercial break. We have long been a client of Squarespace. Thanks again, Squarespace for supporting the commercial break. So we're getting ready to go on this Disney vacation.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And you know, I don't even know, I don't even know where to start with this. We like Disney. I've been to Disney more times than you've been to Disney. I can guarantee it. I'm not saying you, I'm saying you. The listener guarantee. And me and you and all of you put together. I've been to Disney a Lot. It's something that my parents did for us when we were kids. The only kind of vacation we took when we were kids and we didn't take and we didn't go on, we didn't go every year, but we went quite a bit. And that was the only vacation we ever took. We never went to like the beach or like, you know, go sightseeing. We went on a cross country trip and we went to Disney.

[Chris Hoadley]

Disney.

[Brian Green]

That's it. That's the only two places we went. So for us, that was kind of like our whole purview. If we were going to have fun and relax, we were going to Disney. That's what we were doing. Disney World down in Florida. Florida. And so. And as an adult, I've continued to go. I like it, I think it's cool. But the more that I. The more that I go and anybody who's been to Disney will know this. The more that you have gone, the more modern Disney is not the Disney of Yay. It is not. Because you cannot just show up at Disney World and have a good time. You now have to plan every minute of every day, all the time or you will not get on any ride rides. That's the way it is. So now Disney used to be that back in the day, I don't know, this probably started in the 90s. They would put these little boxes in front of the rides. It was called a fast pass.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Green]

It was an invention by the Disneyland, the Disney World organization. Because when you think about it, I realized this on a trip with Astrid when we were dating. Like we went on a Disney trip when we were dating. And I realized something thing. Disney is not in the business of theme parks. They are not in the business of hotels. The Disney World, like Sphere. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Universe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, The Disney World, Disneyland. Like I'm talking about the theme parks. Right? They are not in the business of rides. They're not in the business of concessions. They are in the business of crowd management. They are in the business of logistics. That's what they do. Do they have to figure out how you get you from point A to point B in the way and they in the way in which they want you to do that and then they extract your American Express from your wallet every time you get there and do that efficiently and do it in a way where you want to rinse and repeat every time. And that way if you like the experience and they do it efficiently enough, then they can continue to raise the price of every year and you will come back every time they do a lot of things really well. They do some things I don't think so well. But at the end of the day, anybody who's been to Walt Disney World and likes Disney in general believes that that's a place they want to go back to. And the kids buy into it because that's how they get you. They start you young. When I was in my teens and twenties and I started going there on my own, I could literally show up at the front door, buy a ticket and go. You could show up to a ride, you could press a button, out would come a ticket, that ticket would say you'd be back between three and four o'clock and you can go in the back door and we'll get you on the ride just as soon as possible.

[Chris Hoadley]

And that's what I'm picturing, like I love Six Flags.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

And so that's what I'm picturing, you know, is like that. Yeah, you show up whenever and then you kind of just mingle around the park and see what you want to ride and wait in the virtual line.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's Six Flags for you. But you know, the Six Flags in Disney have two distinct experiences.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're right.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And you know, you're could get stabbed at Six Flags. It's probably not going to happen at Walt Disney World. Right. I mean, I'm just sure.

[Chris Hoadley]

Stabbings at Six Flags.

[Brian Green]

Oh, don't you remember there was like a shooting here a couple of years ago, was there? Oh, a couple shootings, yeah. I mean, listen, Six Flags I think is generally a cool place too, but it's just two. Two different.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of course. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But then you don't spend the night at Six Flags. I mean, I guess you could, but you wouldn't really want to, but so now they have this billion dollar Oracle app that they've rolled out where you have to a week ahead of time. If you're staying on the property, then you can plan, all of you can plan three or four rides per park the day before you show up. So today's the day we have to get up and plan every bit, every bop, every twist, every turn and our vacation. And we have 17 children, most of which don't even speak yet. And we have no fucking clue what's going to happen. I've been just me and Astrid and we have no clue what's going to happen. We think that we can be at one park and make it over to dinner, the next park in 45 minutes, but we don't really know that that's what's going to happen? Because kids are unpredictable and humans are too and no one fucking really knows. But Disney demands that of you or you will lose. How will you lose? You will have to stand in the regular line that can be on average two to three hours long if you go and stand in line for two to three. See, the thing is, now you have to upgrade and buy these extra passes, right? These lightning lane passes. I'm not saying this is a terrible idea because I don't really know they're in the business of logistics. I am not. I am the business of paying them to be in the business of logistics and then begging American express to take $12 a day out of my pocket until I can pay the back. But the reality is, is like you have to have to pay to make sure that you can get on these rides in a decent amount of time. Because if you don't pay, you're not playing the game that everybody else is playing. And you will certainly wait in line much longer than you otherwise would have. Does that make sense?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Let me explain. If I go to Space Mountain, the roller coaster, the world famous roller coaster inside of the Magic Kingdom in Disney World, the one that's in the dark that's been there since 1920.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I remember. That was my favorite.

[Brian Green]

It is my favorite. Still my favorite years later. Right. It's a silly little ride, but everyone loves it. That wait, that regular line, just go wait in line. Hey, we're walking around Disney. What do we do? Space Mountain. Okay, let's go. Wait in line can regularly be over two hours long. Two hours long. That's two hours. That's two episodes of the commercial break. So if I go there and I just wait in line. Okay, I'm waiting two hours. I've now wasted from 10am to noon just standing there waiting for a three and a half minute ride. But if I spend the extra whatever to get the Lightning lane pass, I can go in the quick line and Maybe I wait 15 minutes, maybe. But if I don't buy that, then everybody else in the park, the 50% of the people in the park who are paying that extra money are getting the most out of their vacation, while the rest of us are spending two to three hours per ride just waiting on it. How many rides can you get in in a day if you're waiting two to three hours?

[Chris Hoadley]

No, you can like two, three, four.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. And that's if you spend the entire day there. It's going to be 1,000 degrees down there. You think? I Want to spend every minute of the day down there? No. From 12 to 2, I want to be at a cabana drinking a Frosty shit arena. That's what I want to do. So therefore, you have to play the game. Because if you don't play the game, you're not going to get the most out of the experience you just literally sold sperm for.

[Chris Hoadley]

The tickets are expensive, right?

[Brian Green]

They're very expensive. It's hundreds of dollars a day. Once you add the lightning thing on there and, you know, you plan it all out. And then if you get a Ed package or, you know, a Mickey Snacky package, if you get the Nicky Snacky package, you're spending a couple hundred dollars a day per person. That's without the hotel room. It's incredibly expensive. And I'm not saying it shouldn't be. I don't know, maybe it should be be. Maybe that's the way they came.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, supply and demand.

[Brian Green]

Supply and demand. That's right. There was this, like, overarching argument during the pandemic when Disney started reopening the parks after they closed for about a month from COVID they would let just a few people in, and they started slowly ratcheting up their prices. And people were saying, holy shit. It's like really getting expensive. But the people who are going to the parks were like, wow, wow, we can get on a lot of rides. We can do a lot of things. It's not as crowded as it was just two years ago. You couldn't even. The Magic Kingdom was regularly closing the front doors because no more people could fit in.

[Chris Hoadley]

More capacity.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And there are hundreds, if not thousands of hotels in the Orlando area where people just fly in. They stay at other hotels. Disney doesn't know they're coming. They show up at the front door, they buy a ticket, and guess what? They can't get in because it's closed. Closed because the fire marshal says no more pp. Listen, here's the reality. Disney had to do something. So what did they do? They raised prices in the hopes that some people that can't quite afford it would drop off and decide not to show up at the front door and they could still make the money that they needed to make. It's a game that they're playing. And is it the wrong one? I don't know. It's capitalism at work. I don't know if it's wrong or if it's right. But I'm not particularly excited, and I will continue to go to Disney if I can afford to. And with so many children. I don't know. This might be the one and only trip we ever, ever take. It depends on the fate of the commercial break. It really does. It might or might not be the first and last trip that we take to Disney World. But at the end of the day, if I'm going to go, I mean, I must, I need to play the game because I'm not going to take all these twiddlings down there and not, not go on at least six rides in a day. It's just not going to happen because then why else the am I going to go to see how pretty Disney World is? It's a lot of money to spend to see some flowers in the shape of a Mickey. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean it seems like a lot. Think about.

[Brian Green]

It's a lot. That's why we. I didn't hire her because you don't hire her. But there's all these mainly women. I'm sure there are men out there that do this too. But there are a lot of women, women who are stay at home moms, I would imagine because that's what they target. They target stay at home moms that know the Disney World layout. Disneyland, Disneyland Paris, Disneyland Tokyo, wherever it is. And they are certified Disney vacation planners. And what they do is they will for free help you plan your vacation up to and including making reservations for dinners for rides and all this stuff. Stuff. Well, what's in it for them? What's in it for them is they get vaca huge vacation discounts. Disney often brings them down there for free vacations to show them new rides, show them how to do things.

[Chris Hoadley]

Specific Disney travel agent.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And Disney kicks back the money to them. Right. So they get access, I think to Disney commission and they get a commission and stuff like that. So for the first time ever, I could walk into any of those parks down there in Florida. Florida. With. And you could blindfold me and I promise you I could figure out where I was going. The first time ever. For the first time ever, we said let's get a Disney vacation planner because this is getting a little too calm. This is getting a little out of hand. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

So anyway, so figures I'd probably be getting sick, number one. Number two, you know, we're gonna go down there and we're gonna see what happens. I'll, I'll certainly keep you abreast. Oh, you know that. Oh, it's gonna be good. Listen, listen, I'm also Watching a lot of park videos as we lead up into this, just to kind of take the temperature, no pun intended, of what's going on down there. And, and it's also, you know, the world, Disney isn't. Disney World is not immune to the world. And a lot of people are getting revved up down there about a lot of different things. Yeah, people go in there, they're all fussy and angry because they spend all this money and then they got somebody walking in front of them and cutting them off. And why are you driving that stroller like that? And I demand this, and I deserve that. The problem is the entire world thinks they're the goddamn king of England. And that's the problem. I have my own issues. I, I can get a little fussy when I'm driving.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think you might need to take an edible before you go.

[Brian Green]

Before I go down to Disney, I, I don't get hot like that. Like, I, I, I don't, when I go out in the world, I'm, I'm not like that. I mean, I certainly get frustrated at things people do, but I'm not one to start vocalizing.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

To get in fights, to get upset. That's not me. And I hate when people disrespect customer service agents unless the customer service agents are acting like real. That's a different story altogether, but highly unlikely you're going to find that down at Disney World. But people, they just get so entitled. It's like they, they think they have to have something that everybody else can't have have because they are the grand poobahs of whatever nation they came from.

[Chris Hoadley]

They think they're Mr. Beast who just rented out Disney for a million dollars.

[Brian Green]

Disney World or Disneyland?

[Chris Hoadley]

It was Disneyland, Maybe, yeah.

[Brian Green]

A million dollars.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes. For one night. For a date.

[Brian Green]

For a date. Well, that's what you get when you're the billion dollar YouTube creator. We are the 32 cent YouTube creators.

[Chris Hoadley]

We're the penny creators.

[Brian Green]

We are the penny creators. And I can't wait to dime store if you will. We are the dime store. What was funny is, is that we were talking the other day about. Oh, we were talking the other day about tipping to ensure promptness, which is not really what tip stands for. But this is what this guy said to me. Right? Tip is like an old pirate word or something, I don't know. And ensure is spelled with an e. I know that. I, I understand. Insure is to like ensure your car. Ensure is to make sure something happens. Right, I get that. I understand. It. I'm just telling a funny story that a guy. That the guy did when I was at a restaurant. Okay. All right. So our Instagram and our YouTube went crazy, right? This reel's getting shared and all this other stuff. And then. Then we get to 6,500 followers, which is no feat whatsoever at all. Kim Kardashian has 162 million followers, and we have 6,500. But we get this holy shit notice from Instagram. It's like, you've reached 6,500. We put together a story for you. Make sure you share it. Like, through the years, here's your best reel. Your account is growing, and I'm like, if you think for one fucking second, insta, all of a sudden you love us. You've showed us no attention whatsoever. And then all of a sudden, we get dink. One extra follower. That gets us to 6,500. And now you want us to share that we're losers. Fuck you. Fuck you. That was so stupid. I was like, the hell I'm gonna share this. Fuck no Velvet.

[Chris Hoadley]

Thanks to whoever that 6500 person was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Jenny. Attpc. Thank you. Love you. All right, well, everyone settle down. We will be here next week, though. You'll hear new episodes, we think anyway. Unless I'm sick and then, I don't know. Roll the dice, I guess. Here we go. It always figures. Years when you need to be. You're at your best, you're at your worst. That's true. That's the way it works.

[Chris Hoadley]

What's stressful sometimes just to get to the vacation, you know?

[Brian Green]

Yes. And we should have never told the kids we were going. We should have never told the kids. Brian couldn't keep his mouth shut. That's my fault. That's me. That's on me. Astrid wanted to. Astrid said, don't tell him till, like, the day before.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, guess what, kids? We're going to this Disney World in two years. Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I can only imagine.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's okay. It's okay. Well, I'll figure it out. It's gonna be a good time one way or the other. Then I'm watching this. Somebody put together a reel of kids meeting their favorite character down in Disney World to, like, a sappy song. Yeah. Like, freaking out, but, like, in the a good way. Like, hugging them, kissing them. Like crying, you know? To this sappy song. It was like a minute and a half long reel. And I thought to myself, all the drama all the stress, all the planning, the driving, the heat, all of it. And it will have all been worth it at the end because I will have 3,000 photographs of my children at Disney. So if we never go again, kids, remember, win, look through the photos.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're too young to remember. Well, you were there.

[Brian Green]

Listen. Yeah, I'm about to get priced out too. So don't feel so bad. All right. 212-4333 tcb 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns? Content? Ideas? We are taking them all. Or if you want to come see a live taping of the commercial break, we might be able to make that happen. We've we already have people on the the list. So let us know at the commercial break on Instagram YouTube.com the commercial break for all of the episodes the same day. They air here on the audio and tcb podcast.com for your free TCB sticker. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Rachel]

It's time for spring cleaning. We're not talking about your closet. We're talking about your health. It's time to ditch the clutter of supplements and complicated regimens. Groons is wellness that actually sticks. Groons is a comprehensive and accurately dosed nutrition solution loaded with vitamins like B12 and folate. Designed to be absorbed by your body, Grunz is perfect for gut, health, energy and immunity. Plus, Gruens ingredients are backed by more than 35,000 research publications. Visit Groons Co today. That's Groons Co. Whether you're jetting off to a new destination, leveling up at work, or simply feeding your curiosity, speaking a new language can change your life. And now Rosetta Stone makes it easier and more immersive than ever. With 30 years of expertise in 25 languages, from French and German to Japanese and Vietnamese, Rosetta Stone's True Accent Speech Engine gives instant feedback on your pronunciation. So you sound natural every time. And because there's no English translation, you start thinking in your new language right away. Rosetta Stone has lessons that fit your lifestyle on desktop or mobile. And today, you can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for unlimited access to all 25 languages at 50% off. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners of this podcast can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.com RS10 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to RosettaStone.com RS10 and start learning today.

[Brian Green]

Meet Natural Cycles, the only FDA cleared and CE marked birth control app that's 100% natural hormone free and side effect free. Here's how it works. The app analyzes daily changes in your body temperature to find your fertile window so you can plan or prevent pregnancy naturally. Natural Cycles is a clinically proven non hormonal birth control option that's 93% effective with typical use and 98% effective with perfect use. No synthetic hormones, just science. And if you're ready to start family planning, switching from preventing to planning a pregnancy is as easy as tapping a button. Plus, the Natural Cycles app makes tracking fertility easy. You can measure your temperature trends using an OURA Ring, Apple Watch or our Bluetooth thermometer which is free when you sign up for an annual subscription. Join over 4 million registered users who are taking control of their fertility naturally. Save 15% when you sign up with code [e-mail] that's radio15 for 15% off today. Yeah boy. It's time to turn your daydream into your dream job Job Wix gives you the power to turn your passion into a money maker with a website that fits your unique vision and drives you towards your goals. Let your ideas flow with AI tools that guide you but give you full control and flexibility. Manage your business from one dashboard and keep it growing with built in marketing features. Get everything you need to turn your part time passion into a full time business. Go to wix.com.