What About That Tennis Joker!

Summary

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The Commercial Break | "What About That Tennis Joker!"

Date: July 16, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this lively, chaos-infused episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy riff on everything from posh tennis culture and the price of Wimbledon tickets to the legacy of superhero movies and infamous celebrity moments. As always, expect plenty of tangents, twisted banter, and self-aware humor. The pair manages to gleefully veer from royal gossip to dark sports anecdotes—blending pop culture commentary with their signature irreverent storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Superman & Superhero Movie Chat

(03:33 - 21:59)

• Bryan raves about the new Superman film, declaring it the best since Christopher Reeve’s era.
  • Quote [12:47]:
    "This new Superman is fantastic. And you should go see it. ...It's the feel-good kind of superhero movie that we needed." – Bryan
• Michael Ian Black's cameo as a news reporter in the film is revealed, prompting mock outrage at his secrecy about the role.
  • "Fuck you. Fuck you. You couldn't have broken the story here? ...He plays a reporter—like a TV news reporter, like a ...opinionated news guy." – Bryan [16:37]
• Christopher Reeve’s iconic status as "the" Superman is discussed, and the challenges of recasting the role post-tragedy.
  • Quote [14:19]:
    "Christopher Reeve wasn't the best actor in the world, and that played in his favor. It made you believe that this could be." – Bryan
• Lex Luthor and Batman/Joker legacies are debated:
  • Gene Hackman is crowned forever Lex Luthor, with Nicholas Hoult of the new film earning "a close second."
  • Michael Keaton is the "OG" Batman for both hosts, but they respect Christian Bale’s darker take.
  • For Jokers, the debate lands on Jack Nicholson as the true lunatic:
    Quote [20:44]:
    "He's not even playing a character. He's playing Jack Nicholson. He is a fucking lunatic." – Bryan
    Heath Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix’s tortured Jokers are also admired, but Jack’s "genuine wildness" wins out.
  • Riff on bizarre movie trivia: Kim Basinger's ownership of Braselton, GA, and the increasingly ridiculous Batman sequels.
  • Quick detours to Dick Tracy & The Penguin spinoff get quick dismissals and side-laughs.

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2. Pop Culture, Instagram, and Listener Engagement

(04:18 – 08:24 and recurring through episode)

• The hosts celebrate their impending milestone of “10,000 Instagram followers.”
• Playfully plead for more followers, joking about net gains due to unfollows.
  • Quote [6:09]:
    "Some months we'll get like a couple hundred follows, but the net net ... is like 30, because we have a couple hundred unfollows and that ... I get it. I'm not for everybody." – Bryan
• Repeated thanks to their Venezuelan listeners, who apparently drive unexpected IG spikes.
• Highlight planned merch drops and sticker giveaways for fans.

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3. Wimbledon, Tennis & the Price of Posh Sports

(28:37 – 37:39)

• Bryan admits he barely watched Wimbledon, but marvels at the event’s glitzy social cachet and the astronomical price of final tickets ($92,000!).
  • Quote [33:46]:
    "What is the price of a ticket? $92,000 for a final ticket to Wimbledon. 902001 ticket. ...Holy shit, bro. I don't make that in a year." – Bryan
• The American and Spanish finalists are mentioned, though names escape both hosts.
• Bryan recounts his own "medium at best" tennis skills and childhood attempts at lessons.
• The cultural disconnect of tennis/golf is discussed—how these sports are markers of wealth and exclusivity.
  • "It's another very posh sport, a lot like golf. ...To spend that kind of money to see one tennis match that's about four hours long, ...where you are sitting in the hot fucking sun..." – Bryan [35:31]
• The spectacle of famous faces in the Wimbledon crowd, and the sheer intensity and uniqueness of high-level singles tennis.
• Sidebar: The cost and logistics of attending The British Open and Ryder Cup versus Wimbledon and The Masters.

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4. Tennis Legends & Scandal: Andre Agassi's Wild Side

(37:01 – 44:20)

• Krissy drops the bomb that Andre Agassi admitted to playing on crystal meth (from his own autobiography), stunning Bryan.
  • Quote [38:09]:
    "Look, okay, wait. Andre Agassi admitted to using crystal methamphetamine in 1997, a year when his tennis ranking plummeted. So he was playing." – Krissy
• They riff on Agassi’s wig phase and sidetrack into drug testing in pro tennis.
• Bryan shares wild stories: Any time he’s encountered meth, including a surprise at a neighbor’s party and a full-blown sex party gone awry.
  • Stories get dark and self-deprecating:
    "Crystal meth's a wild drug. ...Sometimes those girls are up for like days in a row. ...She lost like in three months, lost like £50. It was insane." – Bryan [42:24]
• Briefly muse on Tiger Woods, painkillers, surgeries, and the dark side of elite sports.
  • "There are people who get injured ...and those surgeries are a vehicle upon which they get their prescription pain medication. ...Those surgeries follow the medicine ..." – Bryan [44:20]

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5. Golf & Golf Cart Madness

(46:30 – 59:21)

• The John Elway "manslaughter" golf cart incident is discussed; they clarify it was cleared as an accident.
  • "Unfortunate accident ...but he's been cleared of all charges." – Bryan [57:05]
• Bryan tells the epic tale of his brother rolling a golf cart down a 30-40ft hill and barely saving it from the lake—one of his “funniest” life moments.
  • Quote [55:38]:
    "Kevin rolls down the hill six or seven times, like flipping end over end... and then he stands back up and the golf cart is now heading on the green... chasing it as fast as he can... grabbed the golf cart with inches to spare." – Bryan
• Warnings about golf cart safety: DUIs on golf carts, fancy tricked-out rides in golf communities, and childhood memories of wild golf outings.
• More golf cart horror: Bryan’s high school girlfriend’s dad lost his leg when a tree fell on his cart during a microburst storm, but managed to keep his sense of humor with prosthetic pranks.

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6. Miscellaneous Chaotic Tangents & Memorable LOLs

• Krissy's brief tenure as a "golf cart girl" serving drinks to players [51:51].
• The tale of Kim Basinger buying an entire town in Georgia [21:14].
• Mock safety PSA about riding on golf carts—“never let the kids sit on the back, no matter how fun it seems” [59:22].
• Recurring shoutouts to “Rachel,” “Jocelyn Winglebag,” and the absurd fake radio show Crab Gab scattered for meta-comedy.
• Bryan's food habits scrutinized by his ex's mother:
  "Her mom didn't like the fact that I didn't chew my food at least 20 times before I swallowed." – Bryan [58:55]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Superman Movie Review:
  "This new Superman is the best Superman since Christopher Reeve." [11:14] – Bryan
  "It’s the feel good kind of superhero movie that we needed." [13:02] – Bryan

• On Instagram Growth:
  "Some months we'll get like a couple hundred follows, but the net net of it is like 30 because we have a couple hundred unfollows. ...I get it. I'm not for everybody." [6:09] – Bryan

• On Jack Nicholson’s Joker:
  "He's not even playing a character. He's playing Jack Nicholson. He is a fucking lunatic." [20:44] – Bryan

• On Posh Sports:
  "What is the price of a ticket? $92,000 for a final ticket to Wimbledon....Holy shit, bro. I don't make that in a year." [33:46] – Bryan

• Agassi’s Meth Revelation:
  "Andre Agassi admitted to using crystal methamphetamine in 1997, a year when his tennis ranking plummeted. So he was playing." [38:09] – Krissy

• Golf Cart Catastrophe:
  "Kevin rolls down the hill six or seven times, like flipping end over end down the hill. And... the golf cart is now heading on the green...he grabbed the golf cart with inches to spare." [55:38] – Bryan

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04 – 03:33
  Satirical “Crab Gab” radio intro, faux-royal gossip, and influencer parody
• 03:33 – 21:59
  Superhero movies: Superman, Batman, Joker, casting debates
• 28:37 – 37:39
  Wimbledon, tennis fandom, tennis as a symbol of wealth
• 37:01 – 44:20
  Andre Agassi on meth, athlete drug stories, sport scandals
• 46:30 – 59:21
  Golf cart dangers, John Elway and other tragic/funny personal golf stories

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Overall Tone & Style

• HIGHLY irreverent, self-deprecating, and tangential—embracing chaos and digression as a feature, not a bug.
• Frequent playful bickering and genuine friendship shine through.
• Quick pivoting from silly social commentary (“help us hit 10k on Instagram!”) to shockingly candid personal stories.
• Spirited nostalgia and pop culture deep cuts for Gen X/Millennial listeners.
• “Not for everyone” – but if you love unfiltered, unstructured fun, it’s pure TCB.

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For More:
Follow @thecommercialbreak on Instagram, check TCBPodcast.com, or find all episodes in video form on YouTube.

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Transcript

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

And welcome back to WSHIT. It's 9:10 on a Saturday morning and it's time to start Crabapple's longest running high society and gossip show, the Crab Gab. I'm your T ara tart, Jocelyn Winglebag Crabapple quite in a stir this week as for the first time in our 267 year history as a township, we will be welcoming royals. That's right, those of us lucky enough to be invited to the high society event, Little Miss 30 Something Crabapple will be in the presence of royalty. Those who are in the know already understand who's coming. But for those of us just a little bit outside the social circles, you've got me to spill the tea. Later on this week we'll be welcoming Winifred Saradonia, a Spanish countess with a bloodline going back all the way to year 878 when her great great great great great great grandfather Harry ruled over a 12 square mile area in the south of Spain. Winifred lives a life that most of us only dream of high fashion, fast cars and Spanish men. She lives on the second floor of a two story building taking up almost 700 square feet of a 1400 square foot apartment she shares with her roommate. I can imagine the nights they have now, sitting alone, drinking Spanish wine, watching Love island and being pampered on by one, if not two servants. Her relative will Winifred the Hairy was known as a great ruler who would often chop people's heads off if he found them to be criminal or wearing things he didn't like. That's my kind of royal. What, might you ask, is Winifred up to? Well, I had a chance to troll her social media earlier this week and while there's no evidence she's chopping anybody's heads off, she is on to the latest and greatest investment craze. La Boo Boo. Let's take a listen to a little clip I found.

[Rachel]

So you're famous and magnificent.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, I am.

[Rachel]

So many people have con commented syfm on my videos and that's what it means. So you're famous and magnificent and yes I am. I have had to go and get bigger eyelashes because every single time I go out there's so much paparazzi that I needed something to just help cover my eyes so I don't get blinded by all the paparazzi taking photos of me. Thank you so much for realizing I'm so famous and magnificent. To all my beautiful fans saying this to me.

[Brian Greene]

I love you all and I can't.

[Rachel]

Wait to see you at my meet and greets and remember for my little trials that keep saying that my 24 karat gold Laboboo is fake. Make sure you upgrade your Android to iPhones Apple phones is the only way forward. Much love from Me and the 24.

[Brian Greene]

Karat gold Le Boo boo.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

Ah, the royal family. They live a different life, don't they? Let's welcome them with the finest that crabapple has to offer when we crown Little Miss 30 something. Crabapple changed from little miss teen Crabapple a couple of years ago because of some incidents with the then high school principal. But that's a story for a different day. We're gonna talk more about this royal visit after this commercial.

[Brian Greene]

On this episode of the commercial break. And some of the more darker versions do have this kind of tortured Joker, like you're getting into the psychology of the Joker. And Heath Ledger took it to a. Whoa, crazy place, right? And everyone was shocked and loved Heath as the Joker. But Jack Nicholson is legitimately crazy. He is crazy as a human being.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I just watched that Batman actually like six weeks ago. Yeah. With Batman. And I mean, Jack Nicholson is just mind drop.

[Brian Greene]

He's not even playing a character. He's playing Jack Nicholson. He is a fucking lunatic.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best you, Brian.

[Brian Greene]

Best you out there in the podcast universe. Thank you for joining us. It's a day of celebration, a day for make a joyful noise. As they would say. Chrissy, make a joyful noise. You ever go to church?

[Chris Hoadley]

I have been.

[Brian Greene]

You have been to church?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, I have.

[Brian Greene]

They say make a joyful noise and then they make the most unjoyful noises ever. They have.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's in your church. That's in your.

[Brian Greene]

Well, you do have a different church.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. Yeah. Hallelujah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. We got a lot of singing and dancing and music.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Reminds me of the Blues Brothers when they. They go to that church and people are like doing flips down the aisle.

[Chris Hoadley]

It is. It's a very joyful church.

[Brian Greene]

James Brown and the Blues Brothers. What a. One of the best scenes in all of movie. Movie history. It's got to be. It's James Brown in the church of the Holy Roller or whatever it's called. That is an awesome scene. I love it. So it brings me so much joy. Anyway, make a joyful noise and to you, the listener. Thank you very much. Even though I'm not sure it's all of you listeners, I'm just going to say it out loud. I think it's very possible. I think it's very possible that after five years of this show and almost a thousand episodes, certainly a thousand hours of content, it's very possible that we may reach 10,000 followers on Instagram before the end of this week. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, but we're getting what you're saying very close. It's like watching the odometer at 99999. I'm just hoping that no one unsubscribes because, you know, there are days where we have more unfollows than we do follows. It's true.

[Chris Hoadley]

That tracks.

[Brian Greene]

It tracks. It's true. Some months we'll get like a couple hundred follows, but the net net of it is like 30 because we have a couple hundred unfollows and that. Listen, I understand. I get it. I'm not for everybody. And it's mostly me just gabbing on about whatever. It's like condensed milk. It's a very sweet version of what you put in your cereal. Yeah. It's even too swee.

[Chris Hoadley]

Condensed cream.

[Brian Greene]

Condensed cream, that's right. Have you ever had condensed milk?

[Chris Hoadley]

I have. Well, no. Well, I mean, maybe, like, a long time ago, but I've used it in, like, recipes and things.

[Brian Greene]

Well, speaking of Venezuelans, it's something that they use frequently in their desserts. It's something that they will put on, like, the weirdest thing in the world. And my wife is gonna kill me for. For saying this out loud, I'm sure. But I'm sure there are other Venezuelans who are familiar with. This is. My wife. Will. Will take condensed milk, and she'll eat crackers with, like, crackers and condensed milk.

[Chris Hoadley]

The powder.

[Brian Greene]

No, no, no.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Greene]

The actual liquid.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the weirdest thing. I don't know, but this is coming from a guy who eats cream and cereal, so I'm not going to scream too loud from the rooftops, but it. It is a little unnerving when. Because I. Condensed milk is extraordinarily sweet. I mean, it's so sweet. But the Venezuelans, they love it. They put it on everything. I do like trace, though.

[Chris Hoadley]

Trace leches. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. It's one of my favorite desserts in the world. And you can soak that shit in as much condensed milk as you want. As a Matter of fact, the more condensed milk, the better with the tres leches. So I guess I kind of do understand. But that combination, that cake and the. And the liquid. Oh, delicious. Anyway, 10,000 followers on Instagram. And why do we speak of Venezuela? Because when every time we speak about Venezuela is really when that Instagram starts to set on fire. I don't know if we have a lot of Venezuelan listeners. I think we. I think we have a few. But come on, Americans, what's up with you? Start following us. Why do we have to rely on the Venezuelans? Why won't you follow us?

[Chris Hoadley]

Thank you to the Venezuelan.

[Brian Greene]

Thank you to the. Gracias. Mucho. Muchas gracias for. For the follow. We really appreciate it, and I'm just very excited. We've waited for this day for a long time. Chrissy.

[Chris Hoadley]

I didn't. I never thought it would come.

[Brian Greene]

I thought if we get to 10,000 in 2025, it would be good. We're six months ahead of schedule. Five months ahead of schedule. I'm really.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm really fantastic news.

[Brian Greene]

Super thrilled about now. I don't know what happens when you get to 10. Does anything happen when you get to 10,000?

[Chris Hoadley]

It's just at least a little bit of a milestone.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, Instagram keeps, like, sending us notifications, like, congratulations. They're even there taking notice, like, congratulations.

[Chris Hoadley]

We can't believe you did it.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, we. We never thought it happened either. They're even taking notice. 10,000 followers on Instagram. If you are not following us on Instagram, please do so at the commercial break. Help make a dream happen for two low podcasters just looking for a little bit of love. That would be fantastic. Now on to more important things besides stroking our own nuts. Chrissy, Michael Ian Black is a sophisticated master of illusion and deception. Did you know this?

[Chris Hoadley]

I did not know this.

[Brian Greene]

I will tell you why I do like Michael Ian Black, but I don't love Michael Ian Black any longer. Because Michael Ian Black came here to our little old podcast, the commercial break. If you don't mind, Chrissy. He came here, spent almost an hour with us from his hotel room in Vegas where he was gambling. Now, I think he might be actually a degenerate gambler. If I might jump to conclusions, he might be a degenerate gambler with a keen eye for con artistry. Because he came here for an hour, he made fun of us, he yelled at us, he told us all about his political leanings, and we let him go. And we loved him and we thought he was our Friend. But he failed to mention in all of the discussion about all of the wonderful things that Michael Ian Black was doing. He failed to mention that he is in 15 minutes of the nude Superman.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right. I saw that.

[Brian Greene]

Failed to disclose that to us. Failed to tell us anything about it. And I am disappointed in him because I. I watched the new Superman.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, you did?

[Brian Greene]

With great fervor.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's getting good reviews, right?

[Brian Greene]

It's getting great reviews for great reason. Now there's a woke Superman. I don't know where the woke was. There was no woke. It was just a good movie. Yeah, it was a good feel good movie is what we need right now. We need to install some semblance of hope and faith and humanity. And Superman is like the. Is the condensed milk of that. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Brian Greene]

It's a great movie. It's a little fluffy in parts. It's a little overblown. There are some dramatic. There are some, you know, extra action scenes that I think it could do without, but that's just my personal opinion. In sum, in total, it's a fantastic movie.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's great to know.

[Brian Greene]

The new Superman is the best Superman since Christopher Reeve. And man, oh, man, did I want that last guy to succeed. What was his name? Who was that? Superman.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't think I watched it.

[Brian Greene]

Who was that? Superman. You didn't watch that dark version of Superman?

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Greene]

Hold on one second, because Astrid and I were talking about this on the way out. The movie. We went and saw it on Friday night at a packed movie theater, not an empty seat in the house.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. We almost took my nephews because they were with me this weekend.

[Brian Greene]

Who has played Superman? I want to make sure I get this right. Henry. Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill. I wanted to love him as Superman, but the movie itself was not good. And so it fell flat. I love that kind of. That Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan version of superhero stuff. That's my favorite kind.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

But the truth is, the movie that Henry was in, just. It. It didn't do him any justice. That movie didn't fit in general, in kind of the. And Superman is a reluctant hero in that movie. He's not excited to save humanity. He feels like it's a burden. And so it's, oh, me, poor me, the entire movie. They have a fucking Alice in chain, a Soundgarden song, a Pearl Jam song, like a Soundgarden song to open up that. That movie. I mean, we start off with. With Soundgarden. There's not many other places to go with it as far as darkness is concerned. But I will tell you right now that this new Superman is fantastic. And you should go see.

[Chris Hoadley]

I can't wait to see it. You know, it's getting all kinds of buzz.

[Brian Greene]

Well casted, well played. The script is fun. It's like I said, a little frivolous and at parts, but otherwise a very tight two hours of action and fun.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love it.

[Brian Greene]

And you should go watch it.

[Chris Hoadley]

I will.

[Brian Greene]

And this new Superman, whose name eludes me also David Cornswett. Corenzwet. Is that his name? David Corenzwet? Okay, I'm going with that. Corenswet. David Corenswet.

[Chris Hoadley]

I guess so.

[Brian Greene]

I didn't know the guy from Adam when I walked in the movie theater.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Christopher Reed. Here's the problem with Superman. The challenge was Superman. Not the problem with. The challenge with Superman as a movie character is that Christopher Reeve is Superman.

[Chris Hoadley]

He will always be Superman to me.

[Brian Greene]

He will.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's what I grew up with.

[Brian Greene]

Always be Superman. He will always be the OG Superman. The guy who made us all believe that Superman can fly, that he is good at heart, and that Clark Kent, for some reason cannot be recognized when he has glasses on. Okay. It just. We just believed it because Christopher Reeve was that chiseled, strong jawed. Oh, shucks. I don't know. It's kind of like Christopher Reeve wasn't the best actor in the world and that played in his favor. It made you believe that this could be.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was an everyman.

[Brian Greene]

Exactly.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's a really good looking everyman, super sexy everyman.

[Brian Greene]

And then Christopher Reeve, Superman. To everybody that grew up with this, and I think to a lot of people who just didn't even grow up with Superman, who were born long after Superman, the original Superman, Christopher Reeve was the embodiment of that Superman. He hated it. He got typecast and he hated it. And it was a. It was a like kind of a chain around his neck. And then Superman falls.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I know the. The whole tragic irony.

[Brian Greene]

It's insane. It's insane when you think about the symbolism and the idol worship that we all had around Christopher Reeve and Superman. And he falls off a horse and we realize that he is not Superman. He is just human. And he is afflicted with the worst kind of disability that an able bodied person can experience, which is no longer using your hands or your legs for the most part. And then how do you recast Superman after that? What do you. How do you do that? You don't you can't. It's not right. It's not a good thing to do. So years later, time has passed. Even Christopher Reeve says, hey, you can have another Superman. And then they just kind of muddy the waters with this dark experiment in this Dark Knight ish Christopher Nolan type of movie. Doesn't work on most levels. Even though I really wanted Henry to work because I thought Henry would have been a good Superman. But then this guy comes in, this corn swallow. Corns and blats. Corns and corns and wets. We'll call him David. Then David comes in, David C. Dave C. Comes in and all of a sudden you have belief again. From the moment that he appears on screen, you have belief again that there is a Superman of this. That makes sense. It fits. All of it fits. I loved it. I thought it was great. Congratulations to everybody involved. I think it's a good movie. It's getting great reviews. A lot of people saying it's already a billion dollar property. And it's the, it's the feel good kind of superhero movie that we needed. We did not need another, you know, sulky I'm bad man or whatever. We needed a fun, upbeat, high tempo. I want to be a superhero. I want to save the world. People are good. Humanity survives all that good bullshit. And you know what? We got it. Congratulations to us. Humans have done well. And to all the other people who are in the movie too. Congratulations to all of you and Michael Ian Black. Fuck you. Fuck you. You couldn't have broken the story here? I mean, come on, Chrissy, I thought we were all friends. I thought he was gonna give us the big scoop.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he should have.

[Brian Greene]

But that is not the. And now I'm ruining it, of course for everybody. But I mean, I don't think Michael Ian, Michael Ian Black does not play like some surprise character. Like all of a sudden you go, oh my gosh, I can't believe this. He plays a reporter. I'll tell you that. He plays like a TV news reporter. Like a, I don't want to say Tucker Carlson type, but like a opinionated news guy. And there are other surprises in the movie that, that you. That will shock you, Surprise drop ins that will shock you. But altogether great movie. And they brought in the, you know, other superheroes to kind of round it out inside of that universe.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

You don't really have to know all of the backstory of Superman to understand what's going on. You don't to be like a comic book nerd to get it. It all comes together very nicely. And in the end, of course, Superman saves the day and Lex Luthor is there in case anybody wants. Okay, now who's the best? Lex Luthor. Oh, I guess you can't say that because you haven't seen this new one, right? Who's your favorite Lex Luthor.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, the original, of course. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Gene Hackman.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, Gene.

[Brian Greene]

Gene Hackman will always be the best Lex. But this runs a close number two. I will say that. Well done. It's a close two.

[Chris Hoadley]

Who plays the Lex Luthor?

[Brian Greene]

Well, let me tell you who plays Lex Luthor by asking Google.

[Chris Hoadley]

I thought you knew.

[Brian Greene]

No, no I don't. Nicholas Halt.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, yeah, let me see him.

[Brian Greene]

That guy. You've seen him in some stuff. You'll recognize his face.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You'll recognize who he is.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah. He has been in a bunch of stuff.

[Brian Greene]

He has been in a bunch of stuff. And he does a really fine job. Bald headed and everything. He does a really fine job. But Gene Hackman is Gene Hackman. And by the way, Gene Hackman hated being in Superman. He hated.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right. I remember hearing that he didn't even.

[Brian Greene]

Want to like sit down for table reads. He didn't want to. Christopher Reeve wanted to work with him on scenes and he was like, this is a superhero movie, dude. Not going to do it. Not interested. And it ended up being one of the biggest successes of Gene Ackman's life. And I think everybody roundly loved, you know, Gene as Lex Luthor. Okay, now who's the best? Batman.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, that's a toss up. I mean I do love that Michael Keaton.

[Brian Greene]

Michael Keaton is, is. Is like close to my heart.

[Chris Hoadley]

Me too. Yeah, I think it is because I love him, but he played a. I think that that first one is good. Although it, you know, Prince Kim Basinger, but it's got the Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson, the main Joker. He's gotta be the best joker.

[Brian Greene]

I get him. Yeah, I agree with you. I get it. We all want to remember Heath Ledger as the Joker.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And he won an act. He won it posthumously. Won an Oscar, I think, for that role. And what a great.

[Chris Hoadley]

He kind of started that tortured Joker thing that happened then with now Joaquin Phoenix.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. And love it. I think it's great. I think it's a great storyline. And I think that tortured Joker, it makes a lot of sense. And I haven't read a lot of the comic books, but I've read some of them and some of the more darker versions do have this kind of tortured Joker. Like you're getting into the psychology of the Joker.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And Heath Ledger took it to a. Whoa, crazy place. Right? And everyone was shocked and loved Heath as the Joker. But Jack Nicholson is legitimately crazy. He is crazy as a human being.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I just watched that Batman actually like six weeks ago. Yeah. With Batman. And I mean, Jack Nicholson is just mind drop.

[Brian Greene]

He's not even playing a character. He's playing Jack Nicholson. He is a fucking lunatic. Yeah, I love Jack in anything.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jerry hall is in that.

[Brian Greene]

I know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Jerry's girlfriend.

[Brian Greene]

Hey, listen, who's. Didn't Jerry hall buy a. I think she bought a. Or was that Kim Basinger? It was Jerry hall or Kim Basinger. One of them bought like.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, they're both in that movie in that first one.

[Brian Greene]

That's true. Bought an entire town in Georgia.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was Kim Basinger.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. Kim Basinger. Listen, legitimately.

[Chris Hoadley]

Braselton.

[Brian Greene]

Braselton, Georgia. That's right. She bought the whole town. She like, bought the township. They sold it to her for like $200,000 or something. And now Braselton's a great place like everyone wants to live in. Brazel.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that.

[Brian Greene]

I totally understand why Heath gets all the. All the accolades and the accoutrements, but they're not even comparable. Because Jack Nicholson. Heath plays a crazy person as the Joker. Jack Nicholson is a crazy person as the Joker with that weird like.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, the smile. The permanent smile.

[Brian Greene]

I'll always be creeped out by that. And I always love that version of the Joker. I will always love it. But that is the video in that way too. No, he's in the next one, I think.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. And then by the fourth one, it's like Mr. Freeze with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Carrey as the Riddler.

[Chris Hoadley]

The Riddler.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. It gets a little ridiculous. It gets a lot ridiculous. Let's be honest about it. That. That version of Batman wears thin real quick. And then you have Val Kilmer.

[Chris Hoadley]

George Clooney was good, too. George Clooney, Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I actually think Val Kilmer was pretty good.

[Chris Hoadley]

Me too.

[Brian Greene]

Michael Keaton is the og. Always going to love Michael Keaton as Batman. Val Kilmer did a good job, George. That's unfortunate. Yeah, it's just unfortunate all around. I think even he will admit it, you know, I think he was the one with Mr. Freeze. It's unfortunate all around. Everyone makes a mistake or seven. But listen.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he recovered nicely.

[Brian Greene]

He did. He did okay for himself by doing the exact opposite of whatever that was for the rest of his career. Always in a. Always the hero, but not loudly. And I love George. I really do like a lot of love George. I love any movies in. I do. He's a great actor.

[Chris Hoadley]

He is.

[Brian Greene]

But Bad man is not it. It's not. No, that's not it. But he was just coming off of ER or whatever.

[Chris Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Greene]

You know, he's making it now. He's going to be a superhero. They probably paid him a boatload of money to do that. You would have done it, too. I would have done it. Everyone would have done it. And that's the one where they put the bulge in his pants.

[Chris Hoadley]

In the suit.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, they put the penis in the suit. That was the whole thing. It was a kerfuffle. There was a kerfuffle. And then we can all, I think, agree that Christian Bale is another type of Batman.

[Chris Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Greene]

And it's hard for me to shake that Batman because I do love Christian Bale in that role. It's dark, it's moody, it's sultry. It gives a lot of realism to Batman, where the Michael Keaton Batman, that. Those movies are very colorful and playful. They're dark, too, but they're colorful and playful. And you're in a comic book world that's.

[Chris Hoadley]

Does Dick Tracy show up in that one?

[Brian Greene]

No, Tracy does not show up smartly. Even the Riddler was taken more seriously than anything Dick Tracy ever did.

[Chris Hoadley]

Who played the best Dick Tracy?

[Brian Greene]

Well, there's only one so far.

[Chris Hoadley]

I can't believe they didn't continue.

[Brian Greene]

I can't believe there wasn't a Dick Tracy, too. I think there was talks of it. I think there was. I mean, Al Pacino is in Dick Tracy.

[Chris Hoadley]

That is so true. Yes.

[Brian Greene]

Madonna is in Dick Tracy. Some of the best actors that have ever lived are in the movie Dick Tracy. And it is a weird, wacky, trippy, colorful, like film noir. Again, I don't think you can find it. I don't think anybody has agreed to license it. Yes, I think so. I think you can watch a Pluto with ads. You know what I'm saying? Pluto TV with ads.

[Chris Hoadley]

Did you end up watching the Penguin on hbo?

[Brian Greene]

No, I didn't.

[Chris Hoadley]

You gotta watch.

[Brian Greene]

I didn't. It's on my list, but so are so many others.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know, but you gotta pop that up.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Now I just put Fire island on my.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

On my. On my list. So I guess I'll get to that someday. Someday I'll get to it. But I found time to go see Superman and I have to tell everybody that It's, It's a good movie for the review. And don't worry about whatever, you know, woke Batman and woke Superman and all that stuff. Take that of your head. It's not true. I didn't see any indication that this was like a liberal leaning movie. There's no, there's not even politics in the movie. It's just Superman doing what he does. All of the, you know, he saves a country. I think you can see that in the trailer. Those are like fictitious, you know, trailer. Those, like, fictitious.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm probably saying that just because Michael Elan Bach is in it, probably, you.

[Brian Greene]

Know, probably you are probably right. But. But suspiciously, Michael Ian Black, like, there's no talk of politics, no right or left, no nothing. No American. None of that stuff is in the movie. There's no. Any of the regular trigger words that get everybody all crazed about. There might. This might be a neolib movie. Is that. None of that stuff is in there. Michael Ian Black plays kind of like a tough talking, opinionated, like, TV talking head type. And so that is what he is, essentially.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

But there's no talk about it. So you can put your mind at ease, you and all the. The family. I would tell you that this is not a movie for probably children on. I think it's PG13, I think.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Greene]

It's not a movie. Like, my kids wanted to see it. And so I said, okay, I'll go see it with mom and then we'll tell you. We'll. We'll make a decision after that. I think it gets a little too, there's, it's a little too edgy at times.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. And I wouldn't bring super young children to see it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Depending on who your children are, of course. But there were super young children in the theater and it surprised me, quite frankly, like 3 and 4 and 5. And I thought to myself, geez, that's a little young to be watching. You know, there's blood and guts and stuff like that at times. And it's not super like, it's a little realistic. So. Okay, you know, you just, you know, you gotta be. I'm. I don't know why I'm saying this. It's commercial breaks, not like kids are watching this. All right. You know, you make a decision that's best for your family. I'm not here to tell you that. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. There's lots more fun things coming up. The week is just getting started and everyone is very excited around Here. Why? Because we're almost at 10,000. When we do, we're gonna put out 10,000 episodes in a row. When we reach 10,000, so go follow us on Instagram. I'll be by myself, but at least I'll be doing that. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race compliment. Chrissy's in innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also give us a follow on your favorite socials. He commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video YouTube.com thecommercialbreak&t pcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Greene]

All right? And we're back over the weekend. Wimbledon. Did you watch any of Wimbledon?

[Chris Hoadley]

I did not.

[Brian Greene]

I did not either. I mean, no, I did, I did. I watched because the American, the updates. The American young lady was there. I'm sorry, I don't remember her name. I don't watch a lot of tennis. But she was there unexpectedly. I think she was like a number 14 seed or something like that. And she ended up being representing the United States of America. She lost, handily lost. And I think like a very easy match for the opponent, so. But congratulations to the opponent. I can't remember her name either. But then the Spanish and the Italian were against each other in the men's final, which Alcaraz, I think is the guy's name, the Spanish guy. And so I don't. I. I can get into tennis, like if it's the only thing on. And there's something, there's something at stake. Sometimes I like to watch tennis. I used to watch it when I was a teenager. It seemed like, there was a lot of my friends were watching tennis, and I used to play a little bit of tennis. Very poorly played tennis. I could never do the overhand serve.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

So I always did the underhand serve.

[Chris Hoadley]

I took tennis in college, like a class.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, you did? Were you any good at tennis?

[Chris Hoadley]

Medium.

[Brian Greene]

Medium. Yeah. I remember batting the ball back and forth. It was very hot. It was always in the summer. It was always miserable. Was always playing on those red hard courts. Yeah. I don't even think it was clay. I think it was pretend clay. I think it was made to look like clay. It was hot as fucking balls.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And my parents, like, they hired a tennis coach one time. Like, we got into tennis, I would say, when we moved here. So I was probably 12, 13 years old, and we started playing tennis with some of the kids around the neighborhood. And so my parents said, you want to take tennis lessons? Sure, why not? So they hired a. Like a low. Like a teenager, you know, a kid that was given lessons at the courts in the neighborhood. And we ended up. I think I was there for, like, maybe three lessons. Right. And it was hot. And it was clear that I wasn't good because I. I wasn't coordinated enough. I've never been a particularly coordinated person. I mean, I'm coordinated enough, but not that coordinated. And so, you know, I was batting the ball around, and I just was never good. And the guy was always yelling at me, and I didn't like it. So I just said, ah. Like a lot of things in life, I just gave up. I decided this is too hard for me.

[Chris Hoadley]

I tried it.

[Brian Greene]

I gave up. Yeah. But I have a mad appreciation for those who can bat the ball.

[Chris Hoadley]

Dedication.

[Brian Greene]

And 37 miles per hour there, they're serving that ball. That is crazy. But it's another very posh sport, a lot like golf. And there, to me, there is a little bit of a disconnect sometimes. I mean, listen, I don't, like, hate people who are rich. That's not the way that I look at the world. But sometimes there's a little bit of a disconnect. Like, the guy wins, old boy wins, and the old boy, he wins. Whatever's Italians. Oh, Sins. Yeah. My old boy, old girl, she lost. He won. Congratulations.

[Chris Hoadley]

You see how somebody from the U.S. yes.

[Brian Greene]

You see how much I like tennis? I love tennis, so. Oh, boy. Sins was his name. Sins wins. And Sins goes up into the crowd. He goes up into the stands to give a hug to his manager and the people and his parents and all that stuff. Stuff. And there's, like, 15 famous people, like, in. In the boxes all around him. And I'm like, holy. The guy's, like, shaking, you know, giving a kiss to his mom. And right next to him is, I. I forgot who it was. I, I. I don't know. The princess of something. And there's the prince.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wimbledon's huge. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

It's a huge deal. And this reminded me that a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting with my Starbucks boyfriend.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, nice. How did he get the pool?

[Brian Greene]

He got the pool. The pool's all done.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, good.

[Brian Greene]

It looks good. He's having a big party in a couple of days.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, are you going?

[Brian Greene]

I think I am.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think I am.

[Brian Greene]

I think I am. The Starbucks boyfriend's great. I love my Starbucks boyfriend. We're so. We're so gay, but not gay. You know what I'm talking about? We like to hang out and have fun, shoot the shit. I put a song about. I wrote a song about it. It was on one of the episodes. It was in the. The. Like the beginning of the episode. Yeah. So he's saying to me, you know, and the Starbucks boyfriend is considerably more wealthy than I am. But he's also. He's done a lot in his life. Like, he. He earned it. It's not because he just came upon a bunch of money.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

He.

[Brian Greene]

He earned it. He worked very hard, sold a couple companies. He's done well for himself. So he says, ah, you want to. What are you doing? You want to go to. You want to go to Wimbledon? And I'm like, wimbledon? Do I want to go to Wimbledon? He's like, yeah, I was gonna think about going to Wimbledon, but I can't find anybody to go with me. And I'm like. He goes, but the question is, like, do I really want to spend the money on that ticket? And I'm like, what is the price of a ticket? $92,000 for a final ticket to Wimbledon. 902001 ticket. We were looking at him, and I was like, holy shit, bro. I don't make that in a year.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, help me out for now.

[Brian Greene]

So then. So then we start talking. Yeah. So then we start talking. He says, what I really want to do is I. I'm. What's on my bucket list is the British Open in Wimbledon, those two things. And I said, the British Open definitely on my bucket list.

[Chris Hoadley]

I want to go to the Ryder Cup.

[Brian Greene]

The Ryder cup, too. Patrick, my. My little brother actually just went and played congressional. Where Ryder cup will be in 2036, I think, or Something like that. And I don't play congressional. Congressional? Who plays congressional? My little brother, I guess. I don't know. He's also doing considerably more. Considerably more wealthy than I am, actually. It's not hard to be considerably more wealthy than I am. Do you have a dollar? Are you in the positive? There you go. Are you in the positive when you open up your bank app? Okay, good things are going well for you. Congratulations, he says. And I said, well, that, you know, I could get behind that. Let's see. No, tickets are not terribly expensive. It's like 300, 400 pounds for the week. You go for the week?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's. That's great.

[Brian Greene]

Now there's, like, you know, 80,000 people that are spread out amongst that course. It's like you're in a big throng of people, and you have to get to Ireland, and then you have to find a place to stay in a small Irish village.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Greene]

But still, you know, it's much more. That's way. That's way more affordable than even the Masters, which is like two or three thousand dollars for a Friday or Saturday or Sunday ticket. So I thought to myself, oh, okay. You know, maybe he says, well, ask your wife if you can go. And then I instantaneously knew this is not happening, because I got to ask my wife if I can go away for a week, Can I go Ireland for a week? Do you mind? But the whole pricing of Wimbledon made me understand just how posh of a sport, or at least this particular event really is.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I mean, to spend that kind of money to see one tennis match that's about four hours long, where you are sitting in the hot fucking sun, baking. The chairman of Augusta national was there, and Augusta national is the place where they play the Masters. And if you're the chairman of Augusta national, you are considerably more wealthy than even the people I've just mentioned who are considerably more wealthy than I am. You have to be somebody if you're. I mean, in the upper echelons of the Hootie Toots and the Snooty Snoots. The chairman of Augusta national, pretty far up. That's a title. That's a fucking title. Right? It's like royalty, basically, here in the United States, certainly in the golf world. Well, he's there, and he doesn't even have a good seat. He's, like, sitting up in the top. And I'm thinking to myself, geez, the guy from Augusta national didn't even get a good seat. And I think the princess is there. Isn't she. Doesn't the princess show up? Or the.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Greene]

Is she the one who gives the award or something like that? People love their. The. The people. They love that tennis, man. They. They die for it. They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to see people. And I can understand. It's a. A. It's a singular sport. It's like golf in the. Singular sport in the sense that is you against an opponent. Even golf is even more singular as you against the hole, but you're playing against somebody. You have to beat somebody else's score. But this is just two guys, two girls out there banging it out for four or five hours. Hot sun on the clay or the grass running around from side to side. Every point, do or die. It's. It's an intense.

[Chris Hoadley]

It does look intense. I remember watching it back when Serena.

[Brian Greene]

And Venus, those two girls were absolutely excited. See, I grew up in Andre Agassi.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right, right.

[Brian Greene]

Agassi. Pete Sampras.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I remember Agassi. And then it turns out he was on crystal meth, like, half the time.

[Brian Greene]

Hey, listen, don't hate the. Don't hate the game. Don't hate the player. Hate the game. What are you gonna do?

[Chris Hoadley]

I remember that being kind of shocking.

[Brian Greene]

He was on crystal meth while he was playing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

Cool. That's cool. Really?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

No, I thought. I knew he did crystal meth, but I didn't think he was doing it while he was playing. Don't they drug test those guys?

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm gonna verify. I think this was back before the drug testing.

[Brian Greene]

Let us not besmirch Andre Agassiz. Yeah, well, good name. He did wear a wig for a long time, too.

[Chris Hoadley]

He did?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. He had, like, an actual. Like, a headband that had a wig tied to it. Did he? And everyone was like, come on, bro. You aren't fooling anybody. But he went with it. And, hey, you can't blame the guy who wants to be bald out there on, you know, playing Wimbledon.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, yeah, it was a. Protective. For his head.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

So he didn't care.

[Brian Greene]

That's where he. That's where he hid his meth.

[Chris Hoadley]

Look, okay, wait. Andre Agassid admitted to using crystal methamphetamine in 1997, a year when his tennis ranking plummeted. So he was playing.

[Brian Greene]

Wow.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. He revealed this in his autobiography.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. All right.

[Chris Hoadley]

He also disclosed that he tested positive for the drug, but lied to the association of Tennis Professionals to avoid a ban.

[Brian Greene]

Well. Well, I mean, yeah, if you're on.

[Chris Hoadley]

To Reagan, he Claimed he had accidentally ingested the drug from a spiked drink.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

Whoops.

[Chris Hoadley]

Belonging to his assistant Slim. They accepted that and let him play.

[Brian Greene]

I got no idea what happened.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it was a spike drink.

[Brian Greene]

A spike drink? It was meant for Slim. Yeah, Slim's a dope fiend. I don't know why I hang out with this guy Slim.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm assuming it wasn't the same Slim.

[Brian Greene]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Chris Hoadley]

We were working with.

[Brian Greene]

No, it's not the same Slim. I want to be clear about that. Not our Slim. Not our Slim. I mean, I don't claim to know anything about our Slim either because we just met him for a couple hours, but there's just something. You get a vibe person, and he didn't seem like the crystal meth type. I'm just throwing that out there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, apparently Andre Agassi's Slim wasn't. It wasn't for him either.

[Brian Greene]

How do you think he got the nickname. How do you think he got the nickname Slim? He was. He lost a bunch of weight real quick.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Well, that crystal meth will do it to you. I'll tell you what, I'm telling you, the first time that I ever. Not the. Actually, this. That's not true. One of the times that I encountered crystal meth. The first time I ever encountered crystal meth. Crystal meth was with the chiropractor.

[Chris Hoadley]

With the swing party.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, the full on. Like, holy shit, am I actually at a sex party? I was at a pool party and it turned into a sex party and everyone was smoking crystal meth. And I was like, wow, this just got wild real fucking quick. But when I. It was 9 11, and I was living in a. A. Like a quadplex.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Down by Piedmont Park. Big old mansion that they had turned into a quadplex, which was four.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Apartments.

[Brian Greene]

And so you would walk in the door, and there was a set of stairs and right to the left before you got to the stairs, there was a door to the downstairs apartment. And then we had the upstairs apartment. So you would. You would have to unlock the front door, and then you would unlock the door at the top of the stairs. I mean, There was like 20 stairs. It like. Like it was. It went on forever. I hated those stairs. Every time I had to walk up, I'm drunk or hot, whatever. But 9 11, when it happened, we had just moved in four or five months earlier. We didn't really know the people downstairs. We knew a couple of younger girls, like our age, and they say younger. Our age at the time, in Their twenties lived there, but we'd only said hi to them in passing. Yeah, but 911 happens. I have to work at 11:30 and like, no one knows what's going on.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I remember I had to work that day too.

[Brian Greene]

A lot of confusion, a lot of chaos, a lot of. Lot of sadness, a lot of confusion. And so I go downstairs to smoke a cigarette outside. I needed to get out of my house for a second and like. Like see the trees, like, just make sure the world was still revolving. And I. And I was smoking a cigarette and the girl downstairs came out. So we met, we gave each other a hug. We didn't even say hello. We gave each other. Yeah, that's how intense 911 was. People who didn't know each other were just like emotional about this whole thing. Because it's pretty clear what it. What it was all about out early on. So fast forward to like two weeks later. Now we know each other. And she invites me downstairs because she's gonna have some friends over. And I go downstairs and half the time when I would pass this apartment, when I would come in late at night, it was always a funky smell, like burning rubber or something. Right. I never knew what it was. I thought maybe it was just the building. Maybe that's just the way this building smelled. And I walked in and we're there not even 45 minutes, and they're breaking out the crystal meth pipe. And I'm like, wow, you don't even hide that. Like, hey, Brian, are you cool with smoking crystal meth? I mean, it was really weird. It was just like. It was assumed that I was cool with it, I guess.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

So I was cool with it. Whatever. Cool. I rolled with it. I was like, cool. Yeah, no problem. You got any cocaine? Gristle Mets, A wild drug. It's a wild drug. And sometimes those girls are up for like days in a row. That's what. Yeah, people don't sleep now. They'd come upstairs and they asked if we had wine. And I'm on my third day, and I'm on my fifth day, and I just got home from work and I've been up for seven days. And I'd be like, wow, you went to work? I can't even go to work. I'm up for a night. And now you're up for seven days? And one of those girls lost weight so quick. While we knew her, she lost like in three months, lost like £50. It was insane. She was like emaciated. And it was because they were just doing it so, you know, Andre being, like, a athlete at the top of his game and then smoking or doing meth at the same time, it seems a little incongruent.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, they plummeted.

[Brian Greene]

Well, yeah, that's what happens.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I wonder if that's what's up with Tiger. I wonder if Tiger's on the crystal method.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I mean, the pills.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

He had the pill situation.

[Brian Greene]

Well, I have a belief, and I'm sure that I would be right about this. And I'm not saying that I. I like Tiger Woods. And anybody who grew up watching Tiger woods, you got to have an appreciation for what that guy did, definitely as an athlete in that sport. But I think that there are people who get injured or have injuries or they get addicted to surgeries. And then those surgeries are a vehicle upon which they get their prescription pain medication. And that prescription pain medication is, of course, addictive. And so the surgeries follow the medicine, Follow the surgeries, follow the medicine, and then there's just always a reason to have the medicine. Right. I mean, how many surgeries has Tiger woods had just in the last five years? 10?

[Chris Hoadley]

A lot.

[Brian Greene]

11. The guy drove his car off a cliff. He broke his leg in 38 different places or something. He'll probably always be on pain medication. And he admitted as such that he was on pain medication and that some of it I may be taking for the rest of my life because that's how I manage my pain. But the poor guy. I mean, that poor guy. I don't know how you play all doped up on pain medication like that. I can't even hit a ball dead sober. I can't hit a golf ball more than 10 yards. And he's hitting it 350 yards on one leg and high on prescription pain. I'm not saying he's high, high. He's probably very used to taking prescription medication this time, but it just must be, like, a difficult task. I gotta imagine. Anyway, how did we get here?

[Chris Hoadley]

Tennis.

[Brian Greene]

He's talking about Michael Ian Blake.

[Chris Hoadley]

And Andre Agassi.

[Brian Greene]

And Andre Agassi. Tennis. Oh, I was talking about Mike Lee.

[Chris Hoadley]

And just let us down a Dark road.

[Brian Greene]

Two episodes. Yeah, we went down a dark road there. All of a sudden, we're talking about my neighbor losing weight on crystal meth and Tiger Wood. Tiger woods cracking his leg on purpose. I didn't say he did it on purpose, but maybe. I don't know. Tiger, did you do it on purpose? You could tell Brian.

[Chris Hoadley]

Uncle Brian.

[Brian Greene]

Uncle Brian. Uncle Brian won't tell anybody. Else. All right, let's take a break, and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's pretty.

[Rachel]

Pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Brian Greene]

They cleared John Elway of any mer. Of any manslaughter charges. Oh, yeah. So there you go. Do you remember that?

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Greene]

No. Chrissy was just gonna roll with it. She was just gonna pretend that she knew what I was talking about. John Elway, famous quarterback.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of course I know who John Elway is. I did. What happened with.

[Brian Greene]

Wasn't John Elway making out with some sideline reporter one time and she didn't want him or something like that? He was kind of creeping a little bit. Yeah, I don't. Who knows about.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

Right. He.

[Brian Greene]

He was leaving Stagecoach, the music festival, and his agent was on the back of the.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Greene]

And he fell off the back of the golf cart, and just one of those crazy freak accidents hits his head and. And goes brain dead. And they had to pull the plug, unfortunately. But that he donated his organs, and so I. I applaud that. That effort. One final humanity. Me too. I don't care if you're. If they'll allow you to use my organs. Go ahead. I'm not so sure.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, if they're still.

[Brian Greene]

I think they're gonna get all excited when they see that. Then they're gonna open me up and be like, what is this crystal meth pipe doing in his liver? How did he get it there? We had a kidney for you, but it was 93% cocaine, so I don't think we could use it. We were gonna give you his heart, but it's seven times the normal size from all the barbiturates he's taken. Sorry about that. You don't want this guy's brain. Throw that one in the trash. Give that one to science.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right. They can study it for other uses.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, we were going to give you. We had an eye.

[Chris Hoadley]

How did this man live this long?

[Brian Greene]

Yes, we had an eyeball for you, but it's permanently dilated from lsd. So the ayahuasca did it. But John Elway, I mean, just like a freak accident. True and true. But there were a lot of people who said that they saw John had been drinking at Stagecoach. And of course he's at Stagecoach. Of course he's drinking. I mean, just don't be an idiot. Like, he's drinking. And of course, driving a golf cart. It is illegal to drink and drive a golf cart now. So many people do. If you've ever been to a golf course. Yeah. Did I tell you the story? Speaking of golf cart. And listen, I.

[Chris Hoadley]

Neighborhood golf cart communities.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

And when my two stories about right around with roadies on this all the time. When my dad got married to my stepmom, they got married in Peachtree City. Petrie City is just south of the city. It's known as the town that Delta built because it's near the airport. So it's not really in the city. It's like probably 20 minutes south of the city. It's. It's even like 20 minutes south of the airport, really. And it's like this bedroom community.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was a bunch of beautiful houses.

[Brian Greene]

A bunch of farmland. And then they started building neighborhoods down there for the people that worked at Delta. The pilots, this, the. The air attendants, the mechanics, the executives. And because Delta is such a huge company, it quickly filled in. What did they do? A lot of the developers got together and they built golf cart trails inside and outside of these neighborhoods. And now it's completely. There are trails, hundreds of miles of trails of golf cart trails in Petrie City.

[Chris Hoadley]

Golf carts can be expensive, too. They have like golf cart dealership ships.

[Brian Greene]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. In. In the town where I live, actually, it's legal to drive golf carts on the roads. And I see that more and more frequently now, too. But we're not talking about your dad's golf cart from the. No, we're talking about tricked out Mercedes Benz golf carts with air conditioning and.

[Chris Hoadley]

All kinds, all kinds of upgrades.

[Brian Greene]

It's crazy speakers. And we got a ride one time to the fireworks a couple years ago with one of my. My brother's friends. We parked at his house in downtown where I live, and then we took his Mercedes Benz golf cart down to the park probably a 15 minute ride down there. And this thing went 45 miles per hour. I mean, it was so fast. I was nervous for the kids. It was like a three bencher. So it was big. It had air conditioning. It was blowing air conditioning on my face. It was crazy. I'd never seen anything like it. Anyway, so my dad gets married at this down in Peachtree City. And the place where he's getting married is not. It's close to the hotel, but, you know, it's probably like four miles, three or four miles away. And so some of us rented golf carts to get to the wedding venue and back. And we were alerted very sternly by the people who rented these to us. You will get pulled over and you will get a DUI if a cop sees you with a beer in your hand.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And we were like, oh, wow. And then we heard stories from other people at the wedding who had known somebody who had either been in an accident, gotten a ticket, gotten a DUI on a golf cart on these trails because they were drinking. Now you go to a golf course any day of the week and you're going to see guys that are drunk, guys or girls that are drunk, driving around these, these golf carts.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, I mean, for God's sakes, I, I used to be the golf cart girl. Oh, yeah, they have mobile. They have a golf cart that drives around and delivers drinks.

[Brian Greene]

It's a mobile bar.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

It's encouraging you to drive those things strong. But I think the assumption is those.

[Chris Hoadley]

Things don't go like super.

[Brian Greene]

No, they put governors on those. Yeah. So they're. They maybe go 15, 20 miles per hour. They're not that fast. And you know, now they have them where they're like GEO fenced. So if you get that. So if they, if like you're not in the car and they start rolling off, they'll stop themselves. If you get onto the golf course and you're going a certain speed, it'll slow you down. You get up toward the greens, it'll stop you. It's all like GPS controlled and all this other stuff. There are at least the fancier golf courses. And so it's. I, I used to golf a lot with my brothers. Like in my 30s, I would go once.

[Chris Hoadley]

You did.

[Brian Greene]

Sometimes twice a week. And it was just a thing that we did. We like to go out there and dick around and have fun. And I was never married.

[Chris Hoadley]

No kids.

[Brian Greene]

Not married, no kids. My money went to golfing. Yeah, it went to golfing into alcohol. That's where it Went. So we get together with my twin brother and my little brother Patrick and then some other guys get together on like a Saturday morning. Early morning is we usually when we like to play because it was cool outside, you could get there, you know, you could get it in.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Early morning.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Before the worst of the day, get.

[Chris Hoadley]

That early morning drunk.

[Brian Greene]

That's exactly. Or you're still drunk from the night.

[Chris Hoadley]

Before and you gotta keep going.

[Brian Greene]

We always made the 8 o' clock tea time. That's what we would. We would always set the tea time at 8 o' clock in the morning. Then we would all and complain for the first hour about how hungover we were until we got some alcohol in us. Right. So we get there. I am assuming it's 8 o' clock because that's the tea time. We liked 8, 8, 15. And all of us it be not. Not because we were together in disparate ways, are hung up. We're all not feeling it. We're like, oh my God, this sucks. First hole, I'm gonna, I'm gonna paint a picture for you, Chrissy. First hole, 300 yards, tee box. Then as you look down the fairway, on the right hand side of the fairway is a huge hill. And that hill is probably 30, 40ft in the air. And then the green is down the left side of the fairway. So you want to hit it either straight down the middle or use that hill to roll it down toward the green. Okay. But that hill is steep. It's really steep and it's 30, 40ft in the air. The golf cart path follows the hill. It goes up the hill and then back down toward the green, around the back of the green, essentially down, downwards over the back of the green. The back of the trail is a lake, some woods and a lake like a pond or whatever, a retention pond. So we all tee off. Okay, great. And then we all are going. Kevin's in the first cart and he's driving and we're in the back. We're in the cart behind him when we're driving. And Kevin's ball is sitting near where the slope is, the bottom of the slope, but not toward the green yet. So he's got to go hit it. He's got a par park way up top of the hill. Then he's got to run down to grab his ball.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

But Kevin decides that he doesn't want to. I'm assuming this is what he decided. He doesn't want to walk down that hill and back up. So he's going to try and get the cart down there. Well, it's so steep. There's no going down that hill with a cart. But Kevin is driving the path. We see him and then we see him start to turn left toward going down the hill. But he. You would have to go straight down that hill. You cannot have any angle whatsoever because that golf cart is going to flip. Flip. But Kevin goes down and he turns the golf cart. That golf cart. And then Kevin falls out of the golf cart. Goes zooming down the hill.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, no.

[Brian Greene]

Onto the. Kevin rolls down the hill six or seven times, like flipping end over end down the hill. And we're all sitting. I stopped the cart and I'm like. I got my mouth wide open. Kevin's rolling down the hill end over end like a little child.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Somersaults with a golf club in his hand. And then he stands back up and the golf cart is now heading on the green.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's heading toward the lake, towards the pond.

[Brian Greene]

It's running toward the golf cart. He's chasing it as fast as he can. He's going, he's going, he's going. I mean, Kevin. Kevin grabbed the golf cart with inches. Suspense. It would have been in the lake. No doubt about it. Would have been in that water. No doubt about it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Greene]

But miraculously covered it. But I have never seen a grown man roll down a hill like this. Never in my entire life. It was the funniest thing. I'm surprised he didn't break every bone in his body. He just flip flopped all the way down the hill 30ft in the air.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then just adrenaline to save the cart.

[Brian Greene]

Is sprinting adrenaline not to pay $7,000 to replace the cart? I mean, I'm assuming they have insurance on. I don't think you get the insurance claim when you're the one who just took it down the hill. It was miraculous and magic. And none of us will let Kevin forget it. Every time that Kevin gets. Every time Kevin gets into a golf cart, we're like, you okay, bro? You got this. I mean those things can be dangerous.

[Chris Hoadley]

They can be. Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And you know, John Elway had a really unfortunate accident. I don't think there was any maliciousness about it. By all accounts, they were good friends. It was his age. Agent like, they were. They were buddies.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was a bad accident.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, it was just a really, really shitty situation. But he's been cleared of all charges. And I guess that's that. My. You know, just so we can end every segment of this show with a Dark segment. My. My first girlfriend, like, true. True girlfriend, Brooke, her dad, they lived in a. On a golf. Golf. Golfing community. Live on a golf course. And for Easter Sunday, where his birthday was around Easter Sunday, like the week of Easter Sunday this particular year, he. He got a golf cart. Like a brand new golf cart. So he decided to take it out. It was. It was on Good Friday. Decided to take the golf cart out, go hit some balls and hang out with one of his friends. Storm came by real quick. Like one of those. Like, micro bursts.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, we had those recently here.

[Brian Greene]

Yes. They're crazy, by the way. And knocked a tree over and the tree landed on the golf cart and took his leg off.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Greene]

It was insane. He lost his leg in a. In a golf cart when a tree fell on it. It was like. It was a devastating accident. You can imagine that everybody involved, including Burke. They were like a mess, for God. But then her dad liked to do things. Like, one time I went to her house and her dad had a. Had a fake leg, right. And he turned it upside down and put his coffee cup. Her dad had a good.

[Chris Hoadley]

He had fun with it.

[Brian Greene]

He had a good sense of humor about it. Never liked me. Never liked me one bit. Neither her parents did. They never liked me. I was not the guy for their daughter, and clearly that was the case. But God bless you. God bless you, Brooks. Mom and Dad. I know you were looking at me suspiciously. Her mom didn't like the fact that I didn't chew my food at least 20 times before I swallowed.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey, listen.

[Brian Greene]

To each their own. You know, I didn't chew my food 20 times before I swallowed because I grew up in a house with four other. Three other boys.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You didn't swallow your food quickly. You weren't getting it. You know what I'm saying? It was kind of. I was like an animal. A little animal in that way. Anyway, God bless you, John. Away. I'm sorry about your. Your friend. That's, you know, that's just awful.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You're gonna have to live with that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And I mean, I'm. Unless he was driving like an idiot. I'm sure it was just an accident. That's why I do not like the kids. My dad has a golf cart at his house to go back and forth to the lake because they live up this. Down, like the hill. They live on the lake, but that's probably 200ft to the actual lake and it's down a big hill. So they got a golf cart and made a little golf cart path so they can go up and down, but it's twisty, turny. It's very steep. And I never allow those kids to sit on the back of the golf cart because I'm like, when you're going up those steep hills, it's hard to keep yourself on the golf cart. And if you fall, you know, it's bad news. So anyway, I'm glad we gave a bunch of safety information today on the show.

[Chris Hoadley]

And a fantastic Wimbledon update.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, and a fantastic Wimbledon update of which we know none of the names. And we basically. On your sport. I'm sorry. If you like golf, it's all good. Listen, cheers.

[Chris Hoadley]

Cheers to you.

[Brian Greene]

Here's to Wimbledon.

[Chris Hoadley]

Super bowl movie. Yeah, it's not Super Superman.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, and the new super bowl movie. In the new super bowl movie, he makes out with a bunch of unsuspecting sideline reporters. Wasn't that him? I think that was him, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was drunk, I think.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. He was, like trying to get kiss. Yeah, it was that poor girl who then. Aaron Andrews, who then got like, videotaped in her. Yeah, poor Aaron Andrews.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know. She's gone through it.

[Brian Greene]

She's still around, isn't she? She's doing something. Anyway, it's been a great episode of the commercial break. Here's to hoping we hit 10,000 subscribers while we've been sitting here so we can get on with our lives.

[Jocelyn Winglebag]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Thank you to everybody. If you're a new follower on our Instagram saludes, congratulations, welcome aboard. And if you're not following us on Instagram yet, what are you waiting for? Go help us get to 10,000. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Tick Tock. And make sure you follow us, subscribe to us, watch our videos YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video. Video. Usually the same day they air here on the audio. All those guest episodes, everything, even this terrible episode will be on YouTube eventually. So you want to see it? Go watch it.

[Chris Hoadley]

You want to see it?

[Brian Greene]

Don't you want to see it? Don't you? Don't you want to see it? Don't you want to? Yeah. TCB podcast.com that's where you're gonna find more information about Chrissy and I. All the audio and video, that's all there at one location. You can also get your free TCB sticker. You know where else you can get TCB stickers? When we do our merch drop coming up in just a couple of weeks, we are going to be giving away exclusive sticker packs with orders on the Merch Drop. How's that, Chrissy? A little special little package for you if you buy some merch from us. I can't wait. I'm really excited about this Merchant merch. We've waited a long time to do this mainly because we were nervous no one would buy it. But now we're confident at least five of you are going to buy something. So here it comes. Stay tuned. Merch Drop soon. Follow us at the commercial break for more information. And of course, we'll let you know incessantly here on the show. So 212-433-3TCB 2124333822 questions, comments, concerns or content ideas. We take the all. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Greene]

I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye. Sadie in the morning.