What About That Tennis Joker!

Summary

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Episode Summary: "What About That Tennis Joker!" - The Commercial Break

Release Date: July 16, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley
Episode Title: What About That Tennis Joker!

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1. Crab Gab and Royal Visitors [03:50 - 05:19]

Chrissy Hoadley kicks off the episode with an exciting segment on Crabapple Township's historic event: welcoming royal visitors for the first time in 267 years. She introduces Winifred Cerridonia, a Spanish countess with a lineage tracing back to Wilfred the Hairy of 878 AD. Chrissy humorously describes Winifred’s lavish lifestyle and her latest venture into the "La Boo Boo" investment trend.

Notable Quote:

Chrissy Hoadley [04:47]: "Her relative Wilfred the Hairy was known as a great ruler who would often chop people's heads off... That's my kind of royal."

2. Exploring Joker Portrayals in Cinema [05:19 - 10:33]

Bryan Green leads a deep discussion on the various portrayals of the Joker in film, comparing Heath Ledger's and Jack Nicholson's renditions. He highlights the psychological depth Ledger brought to the character, while emphasizing Nicholson's inherent madness.

Notable Quotes:

Bryan Green [05:19]: "Jack Nicholson is legitimately crazy. He is crazy as a human being."

Chris [05:46]: "Yeah. I just watched that Batman actually like six months ago. Yeah. With Batman. And I mean, Nicholson is just mic drop on."

3. Superman Recast and Movie Review [10:33 - 18:50]

The conversation transitions to the newest Superman movie featuring David Corenswet. Bryan praises the film, praising it as a refreshing take since Christopher Reeve's iconic portrayal. They discuss the challenges of recasting such a beloved character and express optimism about Corenswet’s performance.

Notable Quotes:

Bryan Green [12:17]: "It's getting great reviews for a great reason. Now there's Woke Superman. I don't know where the Woke was. There was no Woke. It was just a good movie."

Bryan Green [16:09]: "He will always be Superman. He will always be the OG Superman."

4. Lex Luthor and Batman: Best Portrayals [19:28 - 26:11]

Bryan and Chris delve into the best portrayals of Lex Luthor and Batman across different film iterations. They express a preference for Gene Hackman's Lex Luthor while critiquing other portrayals. The discussion then shifts to Batman actors, with Michael Keaton and Christian Bale receiving high praise for their roles.

Notable Quotes:

Bryan Green [19:53]: "Gene Hackman will always be the best Lex."

Chris [21:01]: "Oh, that's a toss up. I mean, I do love that Michael Keaton."

5. Personal Anecdotes and Dark Humor [26:12 - 67:44]

The hosts share a series of personal stories interwoven with dark humor. Bryan recounts encounters with crystal meth addiction, referencing the tragic accident involving John Elway in a satirical manner. They also discuss various humorous yet concerning incidents involving golf carts, emphasizing safety with a comedic twist.

Notable Quotes:

Bryan Green [43:56]: "And one of those girls lost weight so quick. While we knew her, she lost like in three months, lost like £50. It was insane."

Bryan Green [62:14]: "Kevin falls out of the golf cart, goes zooming down the hill."

6. Social Media Milestones and Merchandise Promotion [07:00 - 67:44]

Throughout the episode, Bryan and Chris intermittently encourage listeners to follow their social media accounts, aiming for 10,000 Instagram followers. They promote upcoming merchandise, including exclusive sticker packs, and celebrate their podcast milestones with humor.

Notable Quotes:

Bryan Green [07:55]: "It's like condensed milk. It's a very sweet version of what you put in your cereal."

Chris [68:51]: "Cheers to you."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bryan Green [05:19]: "Jack Nicholson is legitimately crazy. He is crazy as a human being."
• Bryan Green [10:10]: "I thought if we get to 10,000 in 2025, it would be good."
• Chris [21:31]: "He kind of started that tortured Joker thing that happened then with now. Joaquin Phoenix."
• Bryan Green [16:11]: "He will always be Superman. He will always be the OG Superman."
• Bryan Green [62:14]: "But miraculously covered it. But I have never seen a grown man roll down a hill like this."

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Conclusions

Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley deliver a dynamic and engaging episode, blending pop culture critique with personal storytelling and humorous anecdotes. Their candid discussions on iconic characters like the Joker and Superman, combined with their unique comedic flair, offer listeners both insightful commentary and lighthearted entertainment. The episode underscores their ability to navigate diverse topics while maintaining their signature chaotic charm, making it a must-listen for fans seeking an unpolished yet relatable podcast experience.

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Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 1]

Succulents that adorn our homes, nature makes all of our lives, well, better.

[Host 2]

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[Brian Green]

Download the free app today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And welcome back to WSHIT. It's 9:10 on a Saturday morning and it's time to start Crabapple's longest running high society and gossip show, the Crab Gab. I'm your T Ara Tartt. Jocelyn Winglebag Crabapple quite in a stir this week as for the first time in our 267 year history as a township, we will be welcoming royals. That's right, those of us lucky enough to be invited to the High society event, Little Miss 30 Something Crabapple will be in the presence of royalty. Those who are in the know already understand who's coming, but for those of us just a little bit outside the social circles, you've got me to spill the tea. Later on this week, we'll be welcoming Winifred Cerridonia, a Spanish countess with a bloodline going back all the way to year 878 when her great, great, great, great, great great grandfather Wilfred the Hairy ruled over a 12 square mile area in the south of Spain. Winifred lives a life that most of us only dream of high fashion, fast cars and and Spanish men. She lives on the second floor of a two story building taking up almost 700 square feet of a 1400 square foot apartment she shares with her roommate. I can imagine the nights they have now sitting alone, drinking Spanish wine, watching Love island and being pampered on by one, if not two servants. Her relative Willifred the Hairy was known as a great ruler who would often chop people's heads off each other if he found them to be criminal or wearing things he didn't like. That's my kind of royal what, might you ask, is Winifred up to? Well, I had a chance to troll her social media earlier this week and while there's no evidence she's chopping anybody's heads off, she is on to the latest and greatest investment craze. La Boo Boo. Let's take a listen to a little clip I found.

[Rachel]

So you're famous and magnificent? Yes I am. So many people have contact commented SYFM on my videos and that's what it means. So you're famous and magnificent and yes I am. I have had to go and get bigger eyelashes because every single time I go out there's so much paparazzi that I needed something to just help cover my eyes so I don't get blinded by all the paparazzi taking photos of me. Thank you so much for realizing I'm so famous and magnificent. To all my beautiful fans saying this to me. I love you all and I can't wait to see you at my meet and greets. And remember, for my little trolls that keep saying that my 24 karat gold laboboo is fake, make sure you upgrade your androids to iPhones. Apple phones is the only way forward. Much love from me and the 24 karat gold Labo Boo.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Ah, the royal family. They live a different life, don't they? Let's welcome them with the family finest that Crabapple has to offer when we crown Little Miss 30 something. Crabapple changed from Little Miss Teen Crabapple a couple of years ago because of some incidents with the then high school principal. But that's a story for a different day. We're going to talk more about this royal visit after this commercial break.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break and some of the more darker versions do have this kind of tortured Joker. Like you're getting into the psychology of the Joker and Heath Ledger took it to a. Whoa, crazy place. Right? And everyone was shocked and loved Heath as the Joker. But Jack Nicholson is legitimately crazy. He is crazy as a human being.

[Chris]

Yeah. I just watched that Batman actually, like six months ago. Yeah. With Batman. And I mean, Nicholson is just.

[Brian Green]

He's not even playing a character. He's playing Jack Nicholson. He is a lunatic.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best you, Chris.

[Chris]

Bestie, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best you out there in the podcast universe. Thank you for joining us. It's a day of celebration, a day for make a joyful noise, as they would say. Chrissy, make a joyful noise. You ever go to church?

[Chris]

I have been.

[Brian Green]

You have been to church?

[Chris]

Yes, I have.

[Brian Green]

They say make a joyful noise and then they make the most unjoyful noises ever. They have.

[Chris]

That's in your church? That's in your.

[Brian Green]

Well, you do have a different church.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Yeah. Hallelujah.

[Chris]

Yeah. We got a lot of singing and dancing and music. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Reminds me of the Blues Brothers when, like, they go to that church and people are like doing flips down the aisle.

[Chris]

It is. It's a very joyful church.

[Brian Green]

James Brown and the Blues Brothers. What a what? One of the best scenes in all of movie. Movie history. It's gotta be. It's James Brown in the church of the Holy Roller or whatever it's called. Awesome. That is an awesome scene. I love it so much. It brings me so much joy. Anyway, make a joyful noise. And to you, the listener, thank you very much. Even though I'm not sure it's all of you listeners, I'm just gonna say it out loud. I think it's very possible. I think it's very possible that after five years of this show and almost a thousand episodes, certainly a thousand hours of content, it's very possible that we may reach 10,000 followers on Instagram before the end of this week. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, but we're getting what you're saying very close. It's like watching the odometer at 99999, just hoping that no one unsubscribes because, you know, there are days where we have more unfollows than we do. Follows. It's true.

[Chris]

That tracks.

[Brian Green]

It tracks. It's true. Some months we'll get like a couple hundred follows, but the Net. Net of it is like 30 because we have a couple hundred unfollows and that. Listen, I understand. I get it. I'm not for everybody. And it's mostly me just gabbing on about whatever. It's like condensed milk. It's a very sweet version of what you put in your cereal.

[Chris]

Condensed milk?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's even too sweet for me.

[Chris]

Condense cream.

[Brian Green]

Condensed cream, that's right. Have you ever had condensed milk?

[Chris]

I have. Well, no. Well, I mean, maybe like a long time ago, but I. I've used it in like recipes and things.

[Brian Green]

Well, speaking of Venezuelans, it's something that they use frequently in their desserts. Yeah, it's something that they will put on like the weirdest thing in the world. And my wife is gonna kill me for. For saying this out loud, I'm sure. But I'm sure there are other Venezuelans who are familiar with. This is. My wife will. Will take condensed milk and she'll eat crackers with like crackers and condensed milk.

[Host 1]

The powder.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no.

[Chris]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the actual liquid.

[Chris]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the weirdest thing. I. I don't know. But this is coming from a guy who eats cream and cereal, so I'm not going to scream too loud from the rooftops, but it. It is a little unnerving when. Cuz I. Condensed milk is extraordinarily sweet. I mean, it's so sweet. But the Venezuelans, they love it. They put it on everything I do. Like trace leches.

[Chris]

Leches? Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's one of my favorite desserts in the world. And you can soak that shit in as much condensed milk as you want. As a matter of fact, the more condensed milk, the better with the tres leches. So I guess I kind of do understand. But that combination, that cake and the. And the liquid. Delicious. Anyway, 10,000 followers on Instagram. And why do we speak of Venezuela? Because when every time we speak about Venezuela is really when that Instagram starts to set on fire. I don't know if we have a lot of Venezuelan listeners. I think we. I think we have a few. But come on, Americans. What's up with you? Start following us. Why do we have to rely on the Venezuelans? Why won't you follow us?

[Chris]

Thank you to the Venezuelans.

[Brian Green]

Thank you to the. Gracias. Much of. Much as. Gracias for. For the follow. We really appreciate it and I'm just very excited. We've waited for this day for a long time. Chrissy.

[Chris]

I didn't. I Never thought it would come.

[Brian Green]

I thought if we get to 10,000 in 2025, it would be good. We're six months ahead of schedule. Five months ahead of schedule. I'm really, I'm really fantastic news. Super thrilled about now. I don't know what happens when you get to 10. Does anything happen when you get to 10,000?

[Chris]

It's just at least a little bit of a milestone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Instagram keeps, like, sending us notifications like, congratulations. They're even there taking notice, like, congratulations.

[Chris]

We can't believe you did it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we. We never thought it happened either. They're even taking notice. 10,000 followers on Instagram. If you are not following us on Instagram, please do so at the commercial break. Help make a dream happen. For two lowly podcasters just looking for a little bit of love. That would be fantastic. Now on to more important things besides stroking our own nuts. Chrissy, Michael Ian Black is a sophisticated master of illusion and deception. Did you know this?

[Chris]

I did not know this.

[Brian Green]

I will tell you him very much. I do like Michael Ian Black, but I don't love Michael Ian Black any longer because Michael Ian Black came here to our little old podcast, the commercial break, if you don't mind, Chrissy. He came here, spent almost an hour with us from his hotel room in Vegas where he was gambling. Now, I think he might be actually a degenerate gambler. If I might jump to conclusions, he might be a degenerate gambler with a keen eye for con artistry. Because he came here for an hour, he made fun of us, he yelled at us, he told us all about his political leanings, and we let him go and we loved him and we thought he was our friend. But he failed to mention in all of the discussion about all of the wonderful things that Michael Ian Black was doing, he failed to mention that he is in 15 minutes of the nude Superman movie.

[Chris]

That's right. I saw that.

[Brian Green]

Failed to disclose that to us, Failed to tell us anything about it. And I am disappointed in him because I. I watched the new Superman.

[Chris]

Oh, you did?

[Brian Green]

With great fervor.

[Chris]

It's getting good reviews, right?

[Brian Green]

It's getting great reviews for great reason. Now there's Woke Superman. I don't know where the Woke was. There was no Woke. It was just a good movie. Yeah, it was a good feel good movie is what we need right now. We need to install some semblance of hope and faith in humanity. And Superman is like the. Is the condensed milk of that. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris]

Yeah. That makes sense.

[Brian Green]

It's a great movie. It's a little fluffy in parts. It's a little overblown. There are some dramatic. There are some, you know, extra action scenes that I think it could do without, but that's just my personal opinion. In sum, in total, it's a fantastic fucking movie.

[Chris]

That's great to know.

[Brian Green]

The new Superman is the best Superman since Christopher Reeve. And man, oh, man, did I want that last guy to succeed. What was his name? Who was that? Superman.

[Chris]

I don't think I watched it.

[Brian Green]

Who was that? Superman. You didn't watch that dark version of Superman?

[Chris]

No.

[Brian Green]

Hold on one second, because Astrid and I were talking about this on the way out. The movie. We went and saw it on Friday night at a packed movie theater, not an empty seat in the house.

[Chris]

Yeah. We almost took my nephews because they were with me this weekend.

[Brian Green]

Who has played Superman? I want to make sure I get this right. Henry. Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill. I wanted to love him as Superman, but the movie itself was not good, and so it fell flat. I love that kind of. That Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan version of superhero stuff. That's my favorite kind.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But the truth is, the movie that Henry was in, just. It. It didn't do him any justice. That movie didn't fit in general, in kind of the. And Superman is a reluctant hero in that movie. He's not excited to save humanity. He feels like it's a burden. And so it's, oh, me, poor me, the entire movie. They have a fucking Alice in Chain, a Soundgarden song, a Pearl Jam, like a sound garden song to open up that. That movie. I mean, we start off with. With Soundgarden. There's not many other places to go with it as far as darkness is concerned. But I will tell you right now that this new Superman is fantastic. And you should go see.

[Chris]

I can't wait to see it. You know, it's getting all kinds of buzz.

[Brian Green]

Well casted, well played. The script is fun. It's, like I said, a little frivolous at parts, but otherwise a very tight two hours of action and fun.

[Chris]

I love it.

[Brian Green]

And you should go watch it.

[Chris]

I will.

[Brian Green]

And this new Superman, whose name eludes me also, David Cornswet. Corenswet. Is that his name? David Corenswet. Okay, I'm going with that. Corenswet. David Corenswet.

[Chris]

I guess so.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know the guy from Adam when I walked in the movie theater.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Christopher Reed. Here's the problem with Superman. The challenge With Superman. Not the problem with. The challenge with Superman as a movie character is that Christopher Reeve is Superman.

[Chris]

He will always be Superman. To me.

[Brian Green]

He will.

[Chris]

That's what I grew up with.

[Brian Green]

Always be Superman. He will always be the OG Superman. The guy who made us all believe that Superman can fly, that he is good at heart, and that Clark Kent, for some reason cannot be recognized when he has glasses on. Okay. It just. We just believed it because Christopher Reeve was that chiseled.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Strong jawed. Oh, shucks. I don't know. It's kind of like Christopher Reeve wasn't the best actor in the world and that played in his favor. It made you believe that this could be.

[Chris]

He was an everyman.

[Brian Green]

Exactly.

[Chris]

It's a really good looking everyman.

[Brian Green]

Super sexy everyman. And then Christopher Reeve, Superman. To everybody that grew up with this, and I think to a lot of people who just didn't even grow up with Superman, who were born long after Superman, the original Superman, Christopher Reeve was the embodiment of that Superman. He hated it. He got typecast and he hated it. And it was a. It was a like kind of a chain around his neck. And then Superman falls.

[Chris]

Well, I know the. The whole tragic irony, it's insane.

[Brian Green]

It's insane when you think about the symbolism and the idol worship that we all had around Christopher Reeve and Superman and he falls off a horse and we realize that he is not Superman. He is just human. And he is afflicted with the worst kind of disability that an able bodied person can experience, which is no longer using your hands or your legs for the most part. And then how do you recast Superman after that? What do you. How do you do that? You don't. You can't. It's not right. It's not a good thing to do. So years later, time has passed. Even Christopher Reeves says, hey, you can have another Superman. And then they just kind of muddy the waters with this dark experiment in this dark Knightish, Christopher Nolan type of movie. Doesn't work on most levels. Even though I really wanted Henry to work, because I thought Henry would have been a good Superman. But then this guy comes in this corn waltz.

[Chris]

Corn.

[Brian Green]

Corns and blats. Corns and corns and wets. We'll call him David. Then David comes in. David C. Dave C. Comes in. And all of a sudden you have belief again. The. From the moment that he appears on screen, you have belief again that there is a Superman. That makes sense. It fits. All of it fits. I loved it. I thought it was great. Congratulations. To everybody involved. I think it's a good movie. It's getting great reviews. A lot of people saying it's already a billion dollar property. And it's the, it's the feel good kind of superhero movie that we needed. We did not need another, you know, sulky, I'm bad man or whatever. We needed a fun, upbeat, high tempo. I want to be a superhero. I want to save the world. People are good. Humanity survives all that good bullshit. And you know what? We got it. Congratulations to us. Humans have done well. And to all the other people who are in the movie too. Congratulations to all of you and Michael Ian Black. Fuck you. Fuck you. You couldn't have broken the story here? I mean, come on, Chrissy, I thought we were all friends. I thought he was gonna give us the big scoop.

[Chris]

Yeah, he should have.

[Brian Green]

But that is not the. And now I'm ruining it, of course for everybody who did it. But I mean, I don't think Michael Ian. Michael Ian Black does not play like some guy's character. Like all of a sudden you go, oh my gosh, I can't believe this. He plays a reporter, I'll tell you that. He plays like a TV news report. Like a, I don't want to say Tucker Carlson type, but like a opinionated news guy. And there are other surprises in the movie that, that you, that will shock you. Surprise drop ins that will shock you. But altogether great movie. And they brought in the, you know, other superheroes to kind of round it out inside of that universe.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

You don't really have to know all of the backstory of Superman to understand what's going on. You don't have to be like a comic book nerd to get it. It all comes together very nicely. And in the end, of course, Superman saves the day and Lex Luthor is there in case anybody wants. Okay, now who's the best Lex Luthor? Oh, I guess you can't say that because you haven't seen this new one, right? Who's your favorite Lex Luthor?

[Chris]

Well, the original, of course.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Gene Hackman.

[Chris]

Yes, Gene.

[Brian Green]

Gene Hackman will always be the best Lex. But this runs a close number two. I will say that. Well done. It's a close two.

[Chris]

Who plays the Lex Luthor?

[Brian Green]

Well, let me tell you who plays Lex Luthor by asking Google.

[Chris]

I thought you knew.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, I don't. Nicholas. Halt.

[Chris]

Okay, yeah, let me see him.

[Brian Green]

That guy. You've seen him in some stuff. You'll recognize his face.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

You'll recognize who he is.

[Chris]

Oh yeah. He has been in a bunch of stuff.

[Brian Green]

He has been in a bunch of stuff. And he does a really fine job. Bald headed and everything. He does a really fine job. But Gene Hackman is Gene Hackman. And by the way, Gene Hackman hated being in Superman. He hated.

[Chris]

That's right. I remember hearing that he didn't even.

[Brian Green]

Want to like sit down for table reads. He didn't want to. Christopher Reeve wanted to work with him on scenes and he was like, this is a superhero movie, dude. Not gonna do it. Not interested. And it ended up being one of the biggest successes of Gene Ackman's life. And I think everybody roundly loved, you know, Gene as Lex Luthor. Okay, now who's the best? Batman.

[Chris]

Oh, that's a toss up. I mean, I do love that Michael Keaton.

[Brian Green]

Michael Keaton is. Is. Is like close to my heart.

[Chris]

Me too. Yeah, I think it is because I love him. But he played a. I think that that first one is good. Although it, you know, Prince Kim Basinger, but it's got the Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson is Joker. He's gotta be the best Joker.

[Brian Green]

I get him. Yeah. I agree with you. I get it. We all want to remember Heath Ledger as the Joker.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he won an act. He won it posthumously. Won an Oscar, I think, for that role. And what a great.

[Chris]

He kind of started that tortured Joker thing that happened then with now. Joaquin Phoenix.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And love it. I think it's great. I think it's a great storyline. And I think that tortured Joker, it makes a lot of sense. And I haven't read a lot of the comic books, but I've read some of them. And some of the more darker versions do have this kind of tortured Joker. Like you're getting into the psychology of the Joker. And Heath Ledger took it to a. Whoa, crazy place. Right. And everyone was shocked and loved Heath as the Joker. But Jack Nicholson is legitimately crazy. He is crazy as a human being.

[Chris]

Yeah, I just watched that Batman actually like six weeks ago. Yeah. With Batman. And I mean, Jack Nicholson is just mic drop on.

[Brian Green]

He's not even playing a character. He's playing Jack Nicholson. He is a fucking lunatic. I love Jack in any.

[Chris]

Jerry hall is in that. I know Jerry Hallfriend.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, who's. Didn't Jerry hall buy a. I think she bought a. Or was that Kim Basinger? It was Jerry hall or Kim Basinger. One of them bought like.

[Chris]

Well, they're both in that movie in that first one.

[Brian Green]

That's true. Bought an Entire town in Georgia.

[Chris]

It was king.

[Brian Green]

Okay, Kim Basinger. Listen legitimately.

[Chris]

Brazelton.

[Brian Green]

Braselton, Georgia. That's right. She bought the whole town. She, like, bought the township. They sold it to her for like $200,000 or something. And now Braselton's a great place. Like, everyone wants to live in Brazil.

[Chris]

Ye.

[Brian Green]

I totally understand why Heath gets all the, all the accolades and the accoutrements. His version was really, really good. But they're not even comparable because Jack Nicholson. Heath plays a crazy person as the Joker. Jack Nicholson is a crazy person as the Joker with that weird like.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, the smile. The permanent smile.

[Brian Green]

I'll always be creeped out by that. And I always love that version of the Joker. I will always love it. But that is Danny DeVito in that one too? No, he's in the next one, I think.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And then by the fourth one, it's like Mr. Freeze with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Carrey as the Riddler.

[Chris]

The Riddler, yeah.

[Brian Green]

It gets a little ridiculous. It gets a lot ridiculous. Let's be honest about it. That that version of Batman wears thin real quick. And then you have Val Kilmer, George Clooney.

[Chris]

Kilmer was good, too. George Clooney. Yeah, he did.

[Brian Green]

I actually think Val Kilmer was pretty good.

[Chris]

Me too.

[Brian Green]

Michael Keaton, OG Always going to love Michael Keaton as Batman. Val Kilmer did a good job, George. That's unfortunate. It's just unfortunate all around. I think even he will admit it, you know, I think he was the one with Mr. Freeze. It's unfortunate all around. Everyone makes a mistake or seven. But listen.

[Chris]

Yeah, he recovered nicely.

[Brian Green]

He did, he did okay for himself by doing the exact opposite of whatever that was for the rest of his career. Always in a. Always the hero, but not loudly. And I, I love George. I, I, I really do like a lot of love George. I love any movies in. I do. I think he's a great actor.

[Chris]

He is.

[Brian Green]

But Bad man is not it. It's not. No, that's not it. But he was just coming off of ER or whatever.

[Chris]

True.

[Brian Green]

You know, he's making it now. He's going to be a superhero. They probably paid him a boatload of money to do that. You would have done it, too. I would have done it. Everyone would have done it. And that's the one where they put the bulge in his pants.

[Chris]

In the suit.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they put the penis in the suit. That was the whole thing. It was a kerfuffle. There was a kerfuffle and then we can all, I think, agree that Christian Bale is another type of Batman.

[Chris]

True.

[Brian Green]

And it's hard for me to shake that Batman because I do love Christian Bale in that role. It's dark, it's moody, it's sultry. It gives a lot of realism to Batman where the Michael Keaton Batman. That. Those movies are very colorful and playful. They're dark too, but they're colorful and playful. And you're in a comic book world that's.

[Chris]

Does Dick Tracy show up in that one?

[Brian Green]

No, Dick Tracy does not show up smartly. Even the Riddler was taken more seriously than anything Dick Tracy ever did.

[Chris]

Who played the best Dick Tracy?

[Brian Green]

Well, there's only one so far.

[Chris]

I can't believe they didn't continue with that.

[Brian Green]

I can't believe there wasn't a Dick Tracy too. I think there was talks of it. I think there was. I mean, Al Pacino is in Dick Tracy.

[Chris]

That is so true. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Madonna is in Dick Tracy. Some of the best actors that have ever lived are in the movie Dick Tracy. And it is a weird, wacky, trippy, colorful, like film noir. Again, I don't think you can find it. I don't think anybody has agreed to license it. Yes, I think so. I think you can watch a Pluto with ads. You know what I'm saying? Pluto TV with ads.

[Chris]

Did you end up watching the Penguin on hbo?

[Brian Green]

No, I didn't.

[Chris]

You gotta watch.

[Brian Green]

I didn't. It's on my list. But so are so many other.

[Chris]

I know, but you gotta pop that up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, now I just put Fire island on my.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

On my. On my list. So I guess I'll get to that someday. Someday I'll get to it. But I found time to go see Superman and I'm glad you did have to tell everybody that. It's. It's a good movie for the review and don't worry about whatever, you know, woke Batman and woke Superman and all that stuff. Take that of your head. It's not true. I didn't see any indication that this was like a liberal leaning movie. There's not even politics in the movie. It's just Superman doing what he does. All of the, you know, he saves a country. I think you can see that in the trailer. Those are like fictitious, you know, Trailer. Those are like fictitious.

[Chris]

I'm probably saying that just because Michael Elandbach is in it.

[Brian Green]

Probably, you know, probably you are probably right. But. But suspiciously, Michael Ian Black, like, there's no talk of politics, no right or left, no nothing. No American, none of that stuff is in the movie. There's no. Any of the regular trigger words that get everybody all crazed about. There might. This might be a neolib movie. Is that none of that stuff is in there. Michael Ian Black plays kind of like a tough talking, opinionated, like TV talking head type. And so that is what he is, essentially.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But there's no talk about it. So you can put your mind at ease, you and all the. The family. I would tell you that this is not a movie for probably children on. I think it's PG13, I think.

[Chris]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

It's not a movie. Like, my kids wanted to see it. And so I said, okay, I'll go see it with mom and then we'll tell you. We'll. We'll make a decision after that. I think it gets a little too. There's, it's a little too edgy at times.

[Chris]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I wouldn't bring super young children to see it.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Depending on who your children are, of course. But there were super young children in the theater and it surprised me, quite frankly, like 3 and 4 and 5. And I thought to myself, geez, that's a little young to be watching. You know, there's blood and guts and stuff like that at times. And it's not super like, it's a little realistic. So. Okay, you know, you just, you know, you gotta be. I'm. I don't know why I'm saying this. Commercial break. It's only kids are watching this. All right. You know, you make a decision that's best for your family. I'm not here to tell you that. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. There's lots more fun things coming up. The week is just getting started and everyone is very excited around here. Why? Because we're almost at 10,000. When we do, we're going to put out 10,000 episodes in a row. When we reach 10,000. So go follow us on Instagram. I'll be by myself, but at least.

[Chris]

I'll be doing that.

[Brian Green]

We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Host 2]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a Race compliment Chrissy innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok and for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video. YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously. Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I say Squarespace, you say what? Squarespace, the all in one website platform. It's designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're scaling a business like we are. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings, put it all on a professional website to help you grow your brand and get paid. If it sounds like a lot, it is. It's all in one place. Without a website, you cannot do anything in 2025. You can't create and distribute content, you can't create and sell products, you can't showcase your services. And you certainly can't be a mediocre comedy podcast without a great looking website. Bubba. Brian, I don't have $50,000 to help me create a beautiful website. Squarespace does it for you. They have cutting edge blueprint AI. It helps you build a fully custom website in just a few steps using just basic information about your industry goals and personality. Wa bam. Beautiful website. But Brian, I don't have $50,000 to do search engine optimization. Some companies might charge you $50,000. Not Squarespace. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto generated sitemap. With so much more to help you show up on the search engines more often, go to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Business cards and handshakes are great, but a website is your salesperson that never sleeps. Squarespace.com Commercial and then make sure to use the code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Squarespace for being A continued sponsor of the commercial break. Hey, what's up flies? This is David Spade. Dana Carvey. Look at. I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall. Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday, you'll hear us and see us chatting with big name celebrities. And every Monday, you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts.

[Kristen Bell]

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[Brian Green]

All right, and we're back over the weekend. Wimbledon. Did you watch any of Wimbledon?

[Chris]

I did not.

[Brian Green]

I did not either. I mean I did, I did, I watched because the American updates. The American young lady was there. I'm sorry, I don't remember her name. I don't watch a lot of tennis. But she was there unexpectedly. I think she was like a number 14 seed or something like that. And she ended up being representing the United States of America. She lost, handily lost and I think like a very easy match for the opponent. So, but congratulations to the opponent. I can't remember her name either. But then the Spanish and the Italian were against each other in the men's final, which Alcaraz, I think is the guy's name, the Spanish guy. And so I don't, I, I, I can get into tennis, like if it's the only thing on and is there something, there's something at stake. Sometimes I like to watch tennis. I used to watch it when I was a teenager. It seemed like there Was a lot. Friends were watching tennis, and I used to play a little bit of tennis. Very poorly played tennis. I could never do the overhand serve.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I always did the underhand serve.

[Chris]

I took tennis in college, like a class.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you did? Were you any good at tennis?

[Chris]

Medium.

[Brian Green]

Medium, Yeah. I remember batting the ball back and forth. It was very hot. It was always in the summer. It was always miserable. It was always playing on those red, hard chords. Yeah. I don't even think it was clay. I think it was pretend clay. I think it was made to look like clay. It was hot as balls.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And my parents, like, they hired a tennis coach one time. Like, we got into tennis, I would say, when we moved here. So I was probably 12, 13 years old, and we started playing tennis with some of the kids around the neighborhood. And so my parents said, you want to take tennis lessons? Sure, why not? So they hired a. Like a low. Like a teenager, you know, a kid that was given lessons at the courts in the neighborhood. And we ended up. I think I was there for, like, maybe three lessons. And it was hot. And it was clear that I wasn't good because I wasn't coordinated enough. I've never been a particularly coordinated person. I mean, I'm coordinated enough, but not that coordinated. And so, you know, I was batting the ball around, and I just was never good. And the guy was always yelling at me, and I didn't like it. So I just said, eh. Like a lot of things in life, I just gave up. I decided this is too hard for me.

[Chris]

I tried it.

[Brian Green]

I gave up. Yeah. But I have a mad appreciation for those who can bat the ball.

[Chris]

Dedication.

[Brian Green]

And 37 miles per hour, they're. They're serving that ball. That is crazy. But it's another very posh sport. A lot like golf. And there, to me, there's a little bit of a disconnect sometimes. I mean, listen, I don't, like, hate people who are rich. That's not the way that I look at the world. But sometimes there's a little bit of a disconnect. Like, the guy wins, old boy wins, and the old boy, he wins. Whatever's Italian. Oh, Sins, your recap? Yeah. My old boy, old girl, she lost. He won. Congratulations.

[Chris]

You see how much somebody from the U.S. yes.

[Brian Green]

You see how much I like tennis. I love tennis, so. Oh, boy. Sins was his name. Sins wins. And Sins goes up into the crowd. He goes up into the stands to give a hug to his manager and the people and his parents and all that stuff. And there's like 15 famous people.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

In. In the boxes all around him. And I'm like, holy shit. The guy's, like, shaking, you know, giving a kiss to his mom. And right next to him is. I forgot who it was. I. I don't know. The princess of something. And there's the prince.

[Chris]

Wimbledon's huge. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's a huge deal. And this reminded me that a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting with my Starbucks boyfriend.

[Chris]

Oh, nice. How did he get the pool?

[Brian Green]

He got the pool. The pool's all done.

[Chris]

Oh, good.

[Brian Green]

It looks good. He's having a big party in a couple of days.

[Chris]

Oh, are you going?

[Brian Green]

I think I am.

[Chris]

I think I am.

[Brian Green]

I think I am. The Starbucks boyfriend's great. I love my Starbucks boyfriend. We're so. We're so gay, but not gay. You know what I'm talking about? We like to hang out and have fun. Shoot. The. I put a song about. I wrote a song about it. It was on one of the episodes. It was in the. Like, the beginning of the episode.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So he's saying to me, you know, and the Starbucks boyfriend is considerably more wealthy than I am. But he's also. He's done a lot in his life. Like, he. He earned it. It's not because he just came upon a bunch of money. He. He earned it. He worked very hard, sold a couple companies. He's done well for himself. So he says, ah, you want to. What are you doing? You want to go to. You want to go to Wimbledon? And I'm like, wimbledon? Do I want to go to Wimbledon? He's like, yeah, I was going to think about going to Wimbledon, but I can't find anybody to go with me. And I'm like. He goes, but the question is, like, do I really want to spend the money on that ticket? And I'm like, what is the price of a ticket? $92,000 for a final ticket to Wimbledon. 902001 ticket. We were looking at him, and I was like, holy shit, bro. I don't make that in a year.

[Chris]

Count me out for now.

[Brian Green]

So then. So then we start talking. Yeah. So then we start talking. He says, what I really want to do is. I'm. What's on my bucket list is the British Open in Wimbledon, those two things. And I said, the British Open definitely on my bucket list.

[Chris]

I want to go to the Ryder Cup.

[Brian Green]

The Ryder cup, too. Patrick, my little brother, actually just went and played congressional. Where Ryder cup will be in 2036, I think, or something like that. And I don't play congressional. Congressional? Who plays congressional? My little brother, I guess. I don't know. He's also doing considerably more. Considerably more wealthy than I am, actually. It's not hard to be considerably more wealthy than I am. Do you have a dollar? Are you in the positive? There you go. Are you in the positive when you open up your bank app? Okay, good things are going well for you. Congratulations, he says. And I said, well, that, you know, I could get behind that. Let's see. No, tickets are not terribly expensive. It's like 300, 400 pounds for the week. You go for the week?

[Chris]

Yeah, that's. That's great.

[Brian Green]

Now there's like, you know, 80,000 people that are spread out amongst that course. It's like you're in a big throng of people, and you have to get to Ireland, and then you have to find a place to stay in a small Irish village.

[Chris]

Right?

[Brian Green]

But still, you know, it's much more. That's way. That's way more affordable than even the Masters, which is like two or three thousand dollars for a Friday or Saturday or Sunday ticket. So I thought to myself, oh, okay. You know, maybe he says, well, ask your wife if you can go. And then I instantaneously knew this is not happening because I gotta ask my wife if I can go away for a week. Can I go Ireland for a week? Do you mind? But the whole pricing of Wimbledon made me understand just how posh of a sport, or at least this particular event really is.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, to spend that kind of money to see one tennis match that's about four hours long, where you are sitting in the hot fucking sun, baking. The chairman of Augusta national was there, and Augusta national is the place where they play the Masters. And if you're the chairman of Augusta national, you are considerably more wealthy than even the people I've just mentioned who are considerably more wealthy than I am. You have to be somebody if you're. I mean, in the upper echelons of the Hootie Toots and the Snooty Snoots. The chairman of Augusta national, pretty far up. That's a title. That's a fucking title. Right? It's like royalty, basically, here in the United States, certainly in the golf world. Well, he's there, and he doesn't even have a good seat. He's, like, sitting up in the top. And I'm thinking to myself, geez, the guy from Augusta national didn't even get a good seat. And I think, the princess is there, isn't she? Doesn't the princess show up? Or the.

[Chris]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Is she the one who gives the award or something like that? People love their. The. The people. They love that tennis, man. They die for it. They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to see people. And I can understand. It's a. It's a singular sport. It's like golf in the singular sport in the sense that is you against an opponent. Even golf is even more singular as you against the hole, but you're playing against somebody. You have to beat somebody else's score. But this is just two guys, two girls out there banging it out for four or five hours. Hot sun on the clay or the grass running around from side to side. Every point, do or die. It's. It's an intense. Intense.

[Chris]

It does look intense. I remember watching it back when Serena and Venus, those two girls were right.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely excited. See, I grew up in Andre Agassi.

[Chris]

Right, right.

[Brian Green]

Agassi. Pete Sampras.

[Chris]

Yeah. And then it turns out he was on crystal meth, like, half the time.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, don't hate the. Don't hate the game. Don't hate the player. Hate the game. What are you going to do to me?

[Chris]

That being kind of shocking, he was.

[Brian Green]

On crystal meth while he was playing?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Cool. That's cool. Really?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

No, I thought. I knew he did crystal meth, but I didn't think he was doing it while he was playing. Don't they drug test those guys?

[Chris]

I'm gonna verify. I think it goes back before the drug testing.

[Brian Green]

Let us not besmirch Andre Agassiz. Well, good name. He did wear a wig for a long time, too.

[Chris]

He did?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He had like, an actual, like, a headband that had a wig tied to it.

[Chris]

Did.

[Brian Green]

And everyone was like, come on, bro, you aren't fooling anybody. But he went with it. And, hey, you can't blame the guy who wants to be bald out there on, you know, playing Wimbledon.

[Chris]

Well, yeah, it was a. Protective. For his head.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So he didn't get it.

[Brian Green]

That's where he. That's where he hid his meth.

[Chris]

Look. Okay, wait. Andre Agassid admitted to using crystal methamphetamine in 1997, a year when his tennis ranking plummeted. So he was playing.

[Brian Green]

Wow.

[Chris]

Yeah. He revealed this in his autobiography.

[Brian Green]

Okay, all right.

[Chris]

He also disclosed that he tested positive for the drug, but lied to the association of Tennis Professionals to avoid a ban.

[Brian Green]

Well. Well, I mean, yeah, if you're on to Ragazzi.

[Chris]

He claimed he had accidentally ingested the drug From a spiked drink.

[Brian Green]

Whoops.

[Chris]

Belonging to his assistant Slim. They accepted that and let him play.

[Brian Green]

I got no idea what happened.

[Chris]

Yeah, it was a spike drink.

[Brian Green]

A spike drink? It was meant for Slim. Yeah, Slim's a dope fiend. I don't know why I hang out with this guy Slim.

[Chris]

I'm assuming it wasn't the same Slim.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Chris]

We were working with.

[Brian Green]

No, it's not the same Slim. I want to be clear about that. Not our Slim. Not our Slim. I mean, I don't claim to know anything about our Slim either, because we just met him for a couple hours, but there's just something. You get a vi person, and he didn't seem like the crystal meth type. I'm just throwing that out there.

[Chris]

Well, apparently, Andre Agassi's Slim wasn't. It wasn't for him either.

[Brian Green]

How do you think he got the nickname. How do you think he got the nickname Slim? He lost a bunch of weight real quick.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, that crystal meth will do it to you. I'll tell you what. I'm telling you. The first time that I ever. Not the. Actually, this. That's not true. One of the times that I encountered crystal meth. The first time I ever encountered crystal meth. Crystal meth was with the chiropractor. Swing party. Yeah. The full on. Like, holy. Am I actually at a sex party? I was at a pool party, and it turned into a sex party, and everyone was smoking crystal meth. And I was like, wow, this just got wild real quick. But when I. It was 9 11, and I was living in a. A. Like a quadplex.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Down by Piedmont Park. Big old mansion that they had turned into a quadplex, which was four.

[Chris]

Yeah. Apartments.

[Brian Green]

And so you would walk in the door, and there was a set of stairs, and right to the left before you got to the stairs, there was a door to the downstairs apartment. And then we had the upstairs apartment. So you would. You would have to unlock the front door, and then you would unlock the door at the top of the stairs. I mean, There was like 20 stairs. It like. Like, it was. It went on forever. I hated those stairs. Every time I had to walk up, I'm drunk or hot, whatever. But 9 11, when it happened, we had just moved in four or five months earlier. We didn't really know the people downstairs. We knew a couple of younger girls, like our age, and they say younger. Our age at the time, in their 20s, lived there. But we'd only said hi to them in passing.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But 911 happens. I have to work at 11:30 and like, no one knows what's going on.

[Chris]

Yeah, I remember I had to work that day too.

[Brian Green]

A lot of confusion, a lot of chaos, a lot of. A lot of sadness. Yeah, a lot of confusion. And so I go downstairs to smoke a cigarette outside. I needed to get out of my house for a second and like. Like see the trees, like, just make sure the world was still revolving. And I. And I was smoking a cigarette and the girl downstairs came out. So we met. We gave each other a hug. We didn't even say hello. We gave each other. Yeah, that's how intense 911 was. People who didn't know each other were just, like, emotional about this whole thing. Because it's pretty clear what it. What it was all about out early on. So fast forward to like two weeks later. Now we know each other. And she invites me downstairs because she's gonna have some friends over. And I go downstairs and half the time when I would pass this apartment, when I would come in late at night, it was always a funky smell, like burning rubber or something. Right. I never knew what it was. I thought maybe it was just the building. Maybe that's just the way this building smelled. And I walked in and we're there not even 45 minutes, and they're breaking out the crystal meth pipe. And I'm like, wow, you don't even hide that. Like, you like. Hey, Brian, are you cool with smoking crystal meth? I mean, it was really weird. It was just like. It was assumed that I was cool with it, I guess.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I was cool with it. Whatever. Cool. I rolled with it. I was like, cool. Yeah, no problem. You got any cocaine? Gristle Mets, A wild drug. It's a wild drug. And sometimes those girls are up for like, days in a row. That.

[Chris]

That's what it. Yeah, you people don't sleep now.

[Brian Green]

They'd come upstairs and they asked if we had wine. And I'm on my third day, and I'm on my fifth day, and I just got home from work and I've been up for seven days. And I'd be like, wow, you went to work? I can't even go to work. I'm up for a night. And now you're up for seven days. And one of those girls lost weight so quick. While we knew her, she lost like in three months, lost like £50. It was insane. She was like, emaciated. And it was because they were just doing it. So, you know, Andre being like a Athlete at the top of his game and then smoking or doing meth at the same time, it seems a little incongruent.

[Chris]

Well, they plummeted.

[Brian Green]

Well, yeah, that's what happens.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I wonder if that's what's up with Tiger. I wonder if Tiger's on the crystal method. Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

He had the pill situation.

[Brian Green]

Well, I have a belief, and I'm sure that I would be right about this. And I'm not saying that I. I like Tiger Woods. And anybody who grew up watching Tiger woods, you got to have an appreciation for what that guy did, definitely as an athlete in that sport. But I think that there are people who get injured or have injuries or they get addicted to surgeries. And then those surgeries are a vehicle upon which they get their prescription pain medication. And that prescription pain medication is, of course, addictive. And so the surgeries follow the medicine, follow the surgeries, follow the medicine, and then there's just always a reason to have the medicine. Right. I mean, how many surgeries has Tiger woods had just in the last five years?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

10.

[Chris]

A lot.

[Brian Green]

11. The guy drove his car off a cliff. He broke his leg in 38 different places or something. He'll probably always be on pain medication. And he admitted as such, that he was on pain medication and that some of it I may be taking for the rest of my life because that's how I manage my pain. But the poor guy. I mean, that poor guy. I don't know how you play all doped up on pain medication like that. I can't even hit a ball dead sober. I can't hit a golf ball more than 10 yards. And he's hitting it 350 yards on one leg and high on prescription pain. I'm not saying he's high high. He's probably very used to taking prescription medication this time. But it just must be, like, a difficult task. I gotta imagine. Anyway, how did we get here?

[Chris]

Tennis.

[Brian Green]

He's talking about Michael Ian Blake, Andre.

[Chris]

Agassi and Andre Agassi.

[Brian Green]

Tennis. Oh, I was talking about Mike Lee.

[Chris]

And he just led us down a dark road.

[Brian Green]

Two episodes. Yeah, we went down a dark road there. All of a sudden, we're talking about my neighbor losing weight on crystal meth and Tiger Girls. Tiger Wood cracking his leg on purpose. I didn't say he did it on purpose, but maybe. I don't know. Tiger, did you do it on purpose? You could tell Brian.

[Chris]

Uncle Brian.

[Brian Green]

Uncle Brian. Uncle Brian won't tell anybody else. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

[Host 2]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb.

[Chris]

It's pretty sexual.

[Brian Green]

Simple.

[Host 2]

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

[Host 1]

You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks. You buy a pair of Bomba socks, that's four socks. Because one purchased is one donated. Socks are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bombas socks, you're also donating a pair. Bombas customers have powered over 150 million donations. So Bombas would like to thank you 150 million times, but we only have, like, 30 seconds. Go to bombas.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O-M B-A- dot com and use code audio at checkout.

[John Elway]

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell, and if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car, not so much.

[Brian Green]

We're really doing this, huh?

[John Elway]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your van or license, and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning, and they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

[Brian Green]

Bye. Bye, Truckee.

[John Elway]

Of course, we kept the favorite.

[Brian Green]

Hello, other Truckee.

[John Elway]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply.

[Brian Green]

They cleared John Elway of any mer of any manslaughter charges. Oh, yeah. So there you go. Do you remember that?

[Chris]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. Chrissy was just gonna roll with it. She was just gonna pretend that she knew what I was talking about. John Elway, famous quarterback.

[Chris]

Of course I know who John Elway is.

[Brian Green]

What happened with Wasn't John Elway making out with some sideline reporter one time? She didn't want him or something like that. He was kind of creepy. Sleeping a little Bit. Yeah. I don't. Who knows about. He. He was leaving Stagecoach, the music festival, and his agent was on the back of the golf cart.

[Chris]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

And he fell off the back of the golf cart. And just one of those crazy freak accidents hits his head and. And goes brain dead.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

They had to pull the plug, unfortunately. But that he donated his organs. And so I. I applaud that. That effort. One final. I'm addicted to humanity. Me too. I don't care if they'll allow you to use my organs. Go ahead. I'm not so sure if they're still good. I think they're gonna get all excited when they see that. Then they're gonna open me up and be like, what is this crystal meth pipe doing in his liver? How did he get it there? We had a kidney for you, but it was 93% cocaine. So I don't think we could use it. We were gonna give you his heart, but it's seven times the normal size from all the barbiturates he's taken. Sorry about that. You don't want this guy's brain. Throw that one in the trash. Give that one to science.

[Chris]

Right. They can study it for other uses.

[Brian Green]

Yes. We were gonna give you. We had an eye.

[Chris]

How did this man live this long?

[Brian Green]

We had an eyeball for you, but it's permanently dilated from lsd. So the ayahuasca did it. But John Elway. I mean, just like a freak accident. True and true. But there were a lot of people who said that they saw John had been drinking at Stagecoach. And of course he's. At Stagecoach. Of course he's drinking. I mean, just don't be an idiot. Like, he's drinking. And of course, driving a golf cart. It is illegal to drink and drive a golf cart Now. Now so many people do. If you've ever been to a golf course. Yeah. Did I tell you the story? Speaking of golf cart. And listen, I.

[Chris]

Or those neighborhood golf cart communities.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And when my two stories about golf.

[Chris]

Cart around with roadies on this all the time.

[Brian Green]

When my dad got married to my stepmom, they got married in Peachtree City. Peachtree City is just south of the city. It's known as the town that Delta built because it's near the airport. So it's not really in the city. It's like probably 20 minutes south of the city city. It's. It's even like 20 minutes south of the airport. Really? And it's like this bedroom community. It was a bunch of houses A bunch of farmland. And then they started building neighborhoods down there for the people that worked at Delta. The pilots, this, the. The air attendants, the mechanics, the executives. And because Delta is such a huge company, it quickly filled in. What did they do? A lot of the developers got together and they built. Built golf cart trails inside and outside of these neighborhoods. And now it's completely. There are trails, hundreds of miles of trails of golf cart trails.

[Chris]

In Petrie City, golf carts can be expensive too. They have like golf cart dealerships.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Yeah, yes. In. In the town where I live, actually, it's legal to drive golf carts on the roads. And I see that more and more frequently now, too. But we're not talking about your dad's golf cart from the. No, we're talking about tricked out Mercedes Benz golf carts with air conditioning and all kinds of.

[Chris]

All kinds of upgrades.

[Brian Green]

It's crazy. Speakers. And we got a ride one time to the fireworks a couple years ago with one of my brother's friends. We parked at his house in downtown where I live, and then we took his Mercedes Benz golf cart down to the park. It's probably a 15 minute ride down there. And this thing went 45 miles per hour. I mean, it was exactly so fast. I was nervous for the kids. It was like a three bencher. So it was big. It had air conditioning. It was blowing air conditioning on my face. It was crazy. I'd never seen anything like it. Anyway, so my dad gets married at this down in Peachtree City. And the place where he's getting married is not. It's close to the hotel, but, you know, it's probably like four miles, three or four miles away. And so some of us rented golf carts to get to the wedding venue and back. And. And we were alerted very sternly by the people who rented these to us. You will get pulled over and you will get a DUI if a cop sees you with a beer in your hand.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And we were like, oh, wow. And then we heard stories from other people at the wedding who had known somebody who had either been in an accident, gotten a ticket, gotten a DUI on a fucking golf cart on these trails because they were drinking. Now you go to a golf course any day of the week and you're going to see guys that are drunk, guys or girls that are drunk driving around these, these golf carts.

[Chris]

Well, I mean, for God's sakes, I. I used to be the golf cart girl. Oh, yeah, they are mobile. They have a golf cart that drives around and delivers drinks.

[Brian Green]

It's a mobile Bar, yes. It's encouraging you to drive those things drunk. But I think the assumption is those.

[Chris]

Things don't go like super.

[Brian Green]

No, they put governors on those. Yeah. So they're. They maybe go 15, 20 miles per hour. They're not that fast. And you know, now they have them where they're like GEO fenced. So if you get that. So if they, if like you're not in the car and they start rolling off, they'll stop themselves. If you get onto the golf course and you're going a certain speed, it'll slow you down. You get up toward the greens, that'll stop you. It's all like GPS controlled and all this other stuff there. At least at the fancier golf courses. And so it's. I, I used to golf a lot with my brothers. Like in my 30s I would go once. You did sometimes twice. A. And it was just a thing that we did. We like to go out there and dick around and have fun. And I was never married.

[Chris]

No kids.

[Brian Green]

Not married, no kids. My money went to golfing. It went to golfing into alcohol. That's where it went. So we get together with my twin brother and my little brother Patrick and then some other guys get together on like a Saturday morning. Early morning is usually when we like to play because it was cool outside, you could get there, you know, you could get it in.

[Chris]

Yeah. Early morning.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Before the worst of the day. Day.

[Chris]

Get that early morning drunk.

[Brian Green]

That's exactly. Or you're still drunk from the night.

[Chris]

Before and you gotta keep going.

[Brian Green]

We always made the 8 o' clock tea time. That's what we would. We would always set the tea time at 8 o' clock in the morning. Then we would all and complain for the first hour about how hungover we were until we got some alcohol in us. Right. So we get there. I am assuming it's 8 o' clock because that's the tea time. We liked 8, 8:15. And all of us it be not not because we were together in disparate ways, are hung up, we're all not feeling it. We're like, oh my God, this sucks. First hole. I'm gonna, I'm gonna paint a picture for you, Chrissy. First hole, 300 yards, tee box. Then as you look down the fairway, on the right hand side of the fairway is a huge hill. And that hill is probably 30, 40ft in the air. And then the green is down the left side of the fairway. So you want to hit it either straight down the middle or use to Roll it down toward the green. Okay. But that hill is steep. It's really steep, and it's 30, 40ft in the air. The golf cart path follows the hill. It goes up the hill and then back down toward the green, around the back of the green, essentially downwards over the back of the green. The back of the trail is a lake, Some woods in a lake, like a pond or whatever, a retention pond. So we all tee off. Okay, great. And then we all are going. Kevin's in the first car, and he's driving, and we're in the back. We're in the cart behind him when we're driving. And Kevin's ball is sitting near where the slope is, the bottom of the slope, but not toward the green yet. So he's got to go hit it. He's got to park way up top of the hill. Then he's got to run down to grab his ball.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But Kevin decides that he doesn't want to. I'm assuming this is what he decided. He doesn't want to walk down that hill and back up. So he's going to try and get the cart down there. Well, it's so steep. There's no going down that hill with a cart. But Kevin is driving the path. We see him, and then we see him start to turn left toward going down the hill. But he.

[Chris]

You.

[Brian Green]

You would have to go straight down that hill. You cannot have any angle whatsoever because that golf cart is going to flip. But Kevin goes down, and he turns the golf cart, that golf cart. And then Kevin falls out of the golf cart, goes zooming down the hill.

[Chris]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

Onto the. The Kevin rolls down the hill six or seven times, like, flipping end over end down the hill. And we're all sitting there. I stopped the cart, and I'm like. I got my mouth wide open. Kevin's rolling down the hill, end over end, like a little child somersaults with a golf. Golf club in his hand. And then he stands back up, and the golf cart is now heading on the green.

[Chris]

It's heading toward the lake, towards the pond.

[Brian Green]

Is running toward the golf car, chasing it as fast as he can. He's going. He's going. He's going. I mean, Kevin. Kevin grabbed the golf cart with inches. Despair. It would have been in the lake, no doubt about it. Would have been in that water. No doubt about it.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

But miraculously covered it. But I have never seen a grown man roll down a hill like this. Never in my entire life. It was the funniest thing I'M surprised he didn't break every bone in his body. He just flip flopped all the way down the hill, 30ft in the air.

[Chris]

And then just adrenaline to save the.

[Brian Green]

Cart is what, sprinting adrenaline? Not to pay $7,000 to replace the cart. I mean, I'm assuming they have insurance on those things, but I don't think you get the insurance claim when you're the one who just took it down the hill. It was miraculous and magic and none of us will let Kevin forget it. Every time that Kevin gets. Every time Kevin gets into a golf cart, we're like, you okay, bro? You got this. I mean, those things can be dangerous. Dangerous.

[Chris]

They can be. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And you know, John Elway had a really unfortunate accident. I, I don't, I don't think there was any maliciousness about it. By all accounts, they were good friends. It was his agent. Like, they were, they were buddies.

[Chris]

It was a bad accident.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it was just a really, really shitty situation. But he's been cleared of all charges, and I guess that's that. My, you know, just so we can end every segment of this show with dark. Dark segment. My. My first girlfriend, like, true, true girlfriend, Brooke, her dad, they lived in a. On a golf. Golfing community. Live on a golf course. And for Easter Sunday, where his birthday was around Easter Sunday, like the week of Easter Sunday this particular year, he. He got a golf cart. Like a brand new golf cart. So he decided to take it out. Out. It was, it was on Good Friday. Decided to take the golf cart out, go hit some balls and hang out with one of his friends. Storm came by real quick. Like one of those, like microverse storms.

[Chris]

Yeah, we've had those recently here.

[Brian Green]

Yes. They're crazy, by the way. And knocked a tree over and the tree landed on the golf cart and took his leg off.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

It was insane. He lost his leg in the a. In a golf cart when a tree fell on it. It was like. It was a devastating accident. You can imagine that everybody involved, including Brooke, they were like a mess for weeks. But then her dad liked to do things. Like one time I went to her house and her dad had a. Had a fake leg, right? And he turned it upside down and put his coffee cup.

[Chris]

He had fun with it.

[Brian Green]

He had a good sense of humor about it. Never liked me. Never liked me. One day neither her parents did. They never liked me. I was not the guy for their daughter, and clearly that was the case. But God bless you. God bless you, Brooks. Mom and Dad, I know you were looking at me suspiciously. Her mom didn't like the fact that I didn't chew my food at least 20 times before I swallowed.

[Chris]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris]

Hey, listen.

[Brian Green]

To each their own. You know, I didn't chew my food 20 times before I swallowed because I grew up in a house. House with four other. Three other boys.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You didn't swallow your food quickly. You weren't getting it. You know what I'm saying? It was kind of. I was like an animal. A little animal in that way. Anyway, God bless you, John. Oa. I'm sorry about your. Your friend. That's, you know, that's just awful. Yeah. You're gonna have to live with that.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And, I mean, I'm. Unless he was driving like an idiot, I'm sure it was just an accident. That's why I do not like the kids. My dad has a golf cart at his house to go back and forth to the lake because they live up to this. Down, like, the hill. They live on the lake, but it's probably 200ft to the actual lake and it's down a big hill. So they got a golf cart and made a little golf cart path so they can go up and down, but it's twisty, turny. It's very steep. And I never allow those kids to sit on the back of the golf cart because I'm like, when you're going up those steep hills, it's hard to keep yourself on the golf cart. If you fall, you know, it's. Bad news can happen. So, anyway, I'm glad we gave a bunch of safety information today on the show.

[Chris]

And a fantastic Wimbledon update.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. In a fantastic Wimbledon update of which we know none of the names and we basically. On your sport. I'm sorry. If you like golf. It's all good. Listen, cheers.

[Chris]

Cheers to you.

[Brian Green]

Here's to Wimbledon and the new super bowl movie. Yeah.

[Chris]

There's not Superman. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, and the new super bowl movie. John Elway was John Elway. In the new super bowl movie. He makes out with a bunch of unsuspecting sideline reporters. Wasn't that him? I think that was him, yeah.

[Chris]

He was drunk, I think.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He was, like, trying to kiss.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It was that poor girl who then. Erin Andrews, who then got, like, videotaped in her.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Poor Aaron Andrews.

[Chris]

Gone through it.

[Brian Green]

She's still around, isn't she? She's doing something. Anyway, it's been a great episode of the commercial break. Here's to hoping we hit 10,000 subscribers while we've been sitting Here, so, so we can get on with our lives. Thank you to everybody. If you're a new follower on our Instagram saludes, congratulations. Welcome aboard. And if you're not following us on Instagram yet, what are you waiting for? Go help us get to 10,000. Add the commercial break on Instagram tcb podcast on TikTok and make sure you follow us, subscribe to us, watch our videos YouTube.com// the commercial break for all the episodes on video, usually the same day they air here on the audio. All those guest episodes, everything, even this terrible episode will be on YouTube eventually. So you want to see it? Go watch it on YouTube.

[Chris]

You want to see? You want to see it, don't you?

[Brian Green]

You want to see it, don't you? Don't you want to see it? Don't you want to? Yeah. TCBpodcast.com that's where you're gonna find more information about Chrissy and I. All the audio and video, that's all there at one location. You can also get your free TCB sticker. You know where else you can get TCB stickers? When we do our merch drop coming up in just a couple of weeks, we are going to be giving away exclusive sticker packs with orders on the merch drop. How's that, Chrissy? A little special package you if you buy some merch from us. I can't wait. I'm really excited about this merch. We've waited a long time to do this mainly because we were nervous no one would buy it. But now we're confident at least five of you are going to buy something. So here it comes. Stay tuned. Merch drop soon. Follow us at the commercial break for more information and of course we'll let you know incessantly here on the show. So 212-433-33. TCB 2124333822 questions, comments, concerns or content ideas? We take them all. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chris]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[John Elway]

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[Brian Green]

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[Host 1]

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[Brian Green]

SAM 2:30 in the morning.

[John Elway]

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