Willy Brain Bryan

Summary

The Commercial Break — "Willy Brain Bryan" (April 3, 2024)

A detailed summary by your "silly chat bot"

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of The Commercial Break podcast, hosted by Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley, is a whirlwind of improv comedy and irreverent banter—just as the show promises. The co-hosts riff on everything from pop culture (movies, TV shows, and reality TV) to sports betting scandals, everyday product frustrations, and the eternal struggles of adulthood. True to the TCB formula, the episode delivers unfiltered, hilarious commentary and insightful (yet half-baked) takes on both the mundane and the bizarre.

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Episode Breakdown

1. Pop Culture, TV, and Movies

[00:00–05:13]

• Opening Chaos:
  • Bryan jokes about not "popping his pussy" anymore, setting an unfiltered tone.
• Movie Tangents:
  • The hosts comically struggle to remember the movie "Dazed and Confused," confusing it with other stoner comedies.
    • “What is it? What is it? You don’t know if I talk.” — Bryan Green [01:45]
  • Brief mentions: "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," "Friday," and “half baked.”
• Palm Royale
  • Bryan gets sucked into watching “Palm Royale” (Apple TV+) starring and co-written by Kristen Wiig.
    • Praises Wiig’s comedic talent and pitches, tongue-in-cheek, for her to come on the show.
  • They riff on why celebrities might not want to appear on their decidedly “dumb” podcast.
    • “If you’re a celebrity and you put a pro and con list [about coming on our show]…there aren’t many pros.” — Bryan Green [03:27]
• Paul Scheer Shoutout:
  • Grateful for their recent guest, Paul Scheer (plugging his book "Joyful Recollections of Trauma," out May 21).
    • “Paul was super sweet. I really enjoyed our conversation with him.” — Bryan Green [03:49]

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2. Reality TV Deep Dive (The Bachelor Finale & TV ‘Hugs’)

[05:14–16:16]

• Bryan’s Bachelor Breakdown:
  • Bryan gives a play-by-play of the "Bachelor" finale. Wife Astrid is moved to tears watching a contestant with cochlear implants (Daisy).
    • He’s moved by Daisy’s maturity and grace in rejection:
      • “If I love someone that is not the right person this much, imagine how much I’ll love the right person.” — Daisy (quoted by Bryan) [07:17]
      • “She doesn't need your fucking hug. She's going to be just fine.” — Bryan Green [08:38]
    • They discuss the performative and heartfelt elements of reality TV goodbyes, the concept of “TV hugs,” and how it would feel to go through a breakup on national television.
• Watching With Partners:
  • Krissy shares her strategy for avoiding running commentary from her partner Jeff by simply pausing her shows when he walks in.
    • “I pause, and then I say, ‘Hey.’…there’s no him getting stuck making his comments about how dumb it is…” — Krissy Hoadley [13:31]
• Daisy for Bachelorette?
  • The hosts discuss why Daisy would (or wouldn’t) make a great next Bachelorette, and Bryan speculates on reality TV fame decisions.

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3. Sports Betting & The Shohei Ohtani Scandal

[17:57–32:18]

• Shohei Ohtani Interpreter Scandal:
  • Bryan breaks down the current sports controversy: Dodgers' superstar Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter accused of stealing millions to pay gambling debts.
    • Multiple angles: Interpreter claims Ohtani loaned him the money; Ohtani says it was outright theft.
    • Trust and reputation in pro sports, MLB’s incentive to protect stars, and skepticism over official statements.
    • “I guarantee no matter what happens, this gets swept under the rug, and he continues to play baseball. …He’s too big of a superstar to let go—even over millions of dollars worth of betting on his own sport.” — Bryan Green [24:12]
• Wider Betting Culture:
  • The rise and ubiquity of sports betting apps; dangers for young men, addictive nature, and “the house always wins.”
  • Wild tales about high-rollers getting “backed off” by casinos and followed after big wins.
    • “Why would you walk out of a fucking casino with $3 million in cash and briefcases? I have no idea. Venmo, bro!” — Bryan Green [26:56]
  • “Betting is like anything…a little bit is fine, but you get crazy with it...” — Bryan Green [27:47]
• Comedy Sketch – TCB as Betting Platform:
  • The duo jokes about starting “TCB Bets”—wagering on trivial outcomes of their podcast, auctioning off sponsorships at ever-lowering amounts for laughs.
    • “I am a bookie for The Commercial Break. Bet on us!” — Bryan Green [28:48]
    • Rapid-fire mock auction for TCB’s debt, studio, and “forehead tattoos” [32:18–34:06].

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4. Student Loans & Athlete Sponsorship

[34:33–41:21]

• Student Loans as Business Loans:
  • Bryan references comedian Neil Brennan’s bit about student loans being “business loans where the business is you,” drawing a parallel to the show’s own unprofitability.
  • “Imagine I went into the bank and said, here’s a business idea: I’m going to spend the next year getting blackout drunk and I’ll get a sociology degree.” — Bryan Green (paraphrasing Neil Brennan) [35:26]
• NCAA and Betting:
  • College athletes investigated for betting scandals.
  • Discussion on the pressures and temptations facing young athletes, representation, and why Name-Image-Likeness (NIL) deals for college athletes are a positive move.
    • “If the college is making a billion dollars on your back, you should at least get 10%.” — Bryan Green [40:13]
  • Krissy and Bryan agree that limiting athlete betting safeguards both sports and young people.

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5. Absurdities of Adulthood: Product Choices and “Willy Brain”

[48:08–57:16]

• Dishwasher Dilemma & Product Marketing:
  • The pseudo-science and “delusional thinking” behind product choices in stores.
  • Bryan deliberates over body lotion prices and packaging, only to have Astrid proven right that the cheaper one is basically watered-down.
    • “So my little mouse brain decides to pick the smaller one.” — Bryan Green [49:46]
    • “Your willy brain.” — Krissy Hoadley, returning to the running gag [49:47]
• Cascade Commercial Claims:
  • Bryan questions the validity of Cascade’s claim that the average American spends “200 hours a year pre-washing dishes.”
  • “200 hours a year? That’s 32.6 minutes a day…could that possibly be true?” — Bryan Green [51:10]
• Dishwasher “Pro” vs. “Sani Rinse”:
  • Both hosts debate the myriad of dishwasher settings, what they actually mean, and whether any of the enhanced cycles actually work.
    • “I always do pro, because I want the best.” — Krissy Hoadley [54:54]
    • “Sani Rinse…to me sounds like…your dishwasher just pisses on your dishes.” — Bryan Green [55:03]
• Pre-washing Habits:
  • Bryan confesses to being stuck in an “old mentality”—that dishes must be pre-washed before going in the dishwasher.
    • “I am a pre-washer. I believe in pre-washing. I think you should pre-wash. I think it’s important.” — Bryan Green [54:00]
    • “No, well, you’re just nasty. I’m not eating at your house anymore.” — Bryan Green to Krissy [54:39]

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6. Wrap-Up and Community Engagement

[57:17–59:46]

• Listener Calls & Participation:
  • The hosts appeal for more audience interaction, inviting listeners to share stories and life questions for podcast therapy.
  • They plug the TCB website for stickers, social media, and shout out their “four listeners.”
  • “I love you, best to you out there in the podcast universe.” — Bryan Green [59:42]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:27]
  “If you’re a celebrity and you put a pro and con list [about coming on our show]…there aren’t many pros.” — Bryan Green

• [07:17]
  “If I love someone that is not the right person this much, imagine how much I’ll love the right person.” — Daisy (paraphrased by Bryan Green)

• [08:38]
  “She doesn't need your fucking hug. She's going to be just fine.” — Bryan Green

• [24:12]
  "I guarantee no matter what happens, this gets swept under the rug, and he continues to play baseball..." — Bryan Green (on Shohei Ohtani situation)

• [26:56]
  “Why would you walk out of a fucking casino with $3 million in cash and briefcases? ... Venmo, bro!” — Bryan Green

• [28:48]
  “I am a bookie for The Commercial Break. Bet on us!” — Bryan Green

• [40:13]
  “If the college is making a billion dollars on your back, you should at least get 10%.” — Bryan Green

• [49:46]
  “So my little mouse brain decides to pick the smaller one.” — Bryan Green

• [54:54]
  “I always do pro, because I want the best.” — Krissy Hoadley

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Highlight Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Highlight | |:----------:|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Over-the-top opening banter about “pussy popping” and the “willy brain” running gag | | 01:09 | “Dazed and Confused” movie confusion and nostalgic riffing | | 03:27 | “Palm Royale” and celebrity interviews—pros and cons for celebs joining the show | | 05:32 | The Bachelor finale, Daisy’s maturity, TV tears, and Bryan’s emotional TV ‘hug’ | | 11:28 | Krissy’s pause-and-talk partner solution for reality TV hate-watching | | 17:57 | PrizePicks ad segues into Shohei Ohtani betting scandal | | 24:12 | Bryan’s prediction: “This gets swept under the rug...He’s too big of a superstar to let go.” | | 28:48 | Comedy sketch about TCB taking bets on its own show, mock sponsor auction (TCB Bets) | | 34:33 | Student loans as “business loans” per Neil Brennan | | 40:13 | NIL in college sports: “...you should at least get 10%” | | 48:08 | Product marketing/consumer confusion at Sam’s Club and the “willy brain” | | 51:10 | Cascade commercial claims—math breakdown on 200 hours/year washing dishes | | 54:00 | Dishwashing habits, team pre-wash vs. team throw-it-in, “Sani Rinse” jokes | | 57:17 | TCB Bets app (joking), pitch to listeners for calls, questions, and participation | | 59:42 | Signoff with mutual love, the classic TCB “best to you” mantra |

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode is fast-paced, wildly self-aware, and laden with quick-witted observational humor and friendly jabs. Bryan’s signature over-explaining and circuitous storytelling pairs well with Krissy’s practical, deadpan interjections—together, they invite listeners to share in the absurd little frustrations and fascinations of everyday life and pop culture.

Bottom line:
You’ll walk away having laughed, learned why lotion sizes are misleading, questioned your dishwashing habits, and probably wanting to give a “TV hug” of your own.

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Best to you, out there in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

All you ladies pop your pussy like this. I ain't popping my pussy anymore. It's been popped for years. No pussy popping here. What?

[Christina]

What?

[Brian Green]

It's the truth. On this episode of the commercial break. So my little mouse brain decides to pick the smaller one.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Willy brain.

[Brian Green]

To pick the one with more fluid ounces. My willy brain. That's right. One of our listeners, Caden, says, why is everything that Brian name have to do with it? Yeah, I don't know. I honestly don't. It just turned out that way. Maybe I'm repressed or something. I don't know. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah. Cast of kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the sexy nude chef of this show, Kristen Joy Hodley. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. All righty, righty righty. Don't mind if I getting older. They stay the same age.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Old Matt.

[Brian Green]

Ah, Good old Matthew McConaughey. Why isn't he in jail for that one line? Who's canceling that guy? Ah, that. That. That line did not age well. Did not age well. But it was a different time back in the early 90s and then.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And they were already portraying a different time.

[Brian Green]

They were portraying the 70s. What a movie, man. God damn. Did we watch the out of that movie. High time. What is that called? I don't remember what it's called. Fast times at Ridgemont High. No, I'm kidding.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm kid and graffiti.

[Brian Green]

No, no. What is it? You know it. Say it. Say it out loud.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

[Brian Green]

What is it? What is it? You don't know if I talk.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And I watched it so much. I just haven't seen it in a while.

[Brian Green]

It is now. I have to find it. Why do I have to find it?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

You're already on.

[Brian Green]

I thought you were gonna know it. Thought you were gonna know a days that confused. I know there were quite a few movies that came out with, like, similar names, like half baked and you. You know all the stoner movies Friday. Not Fried Egg. Fried Egg. This is your brain on drugs. This is why you shouldn't do drugs. Kids, you can't even remember the name of a movie that you watched 1 million times in high school. But to be fair, I wasn't watching it for the title. I was watching it because it was a funny movie. It was really funny. I loved it. Speaking of funny, funny shows, movies, I walked in on Astrid watching that Palm Royale. I Think is what it's called. Kristen.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yes. Kristen on Apple.

[Brian Green]

Yes, she does. And so I walked in. Astron is watching like the third episode, and I got stuck. You know how you get stuck. I was like coming from the studio, late night of editing and, you know, going down terrible rabbit holes on the Internet. And then I. My brain's all aflutter, and then I walk into the room and she's watching the show. And I'm going to the bathroom to take a shower. And then I turn around just to see what she's watching. And I got literally standing there for 30 minutes before I want to see.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

What Kristen Wiig's doing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I always want to see what she's doing. And she look great in the show. And she's so hilarious. She is. And I guess she wrote the show, too. Palm Royale. So, you know, Kristen come on the show and talk about it. Why doesn't Kristen Wiig come on the show? Why won't she come on?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I can think of a few reasons.

[Brian Green]

I could think of so many reasons why she wouldn't come on the show.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

That's what I mean.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Like if you put a pro and con list together, if you're a celebrity and you put a pro and con list, as we're figuring out, put a pro and con list to coming on the commercial break. There aren't many pros. There are a whole shitload of cons. So thank you to everyone who's decided to show up so far. Far. Speaking of, I do want to thank our guest this week, Paul Shear, for coming in. One of the nicest guys I really.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Loved in the business.

[Brian Green]

As if I know anybody else in the business. My little brother who works at the, you know, production side of things. But Paul was super sweet. I really enjoyed our conversation with him. Paul shear.com and then go pre order his book. I just want to shout it out because he's a nice guy.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I can't wait to read that book.

[Brian Green]

I know. Well, it's coming out May 21, I think is when it's coming out.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I think that's right.

[Brian Green]

Yep. May 21st. You can pre order it now on Amazon. And the name of the book is Joyful Recollections of Trauma. So please go and order. Tickets are available for whatever shows he's got. Go to paulshear.com he's got all that shit there. He's like, he's doing everything.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

He's already done so much too. I mean, looking at his Wikipedia or IMDb whatever, briefly, to get an idea I mean, there's so many.

[Brian Green]

I feel so bad when I look at everybody else's accomplishments. And we're like, started this podcast at age 71. I'm now 76 and I've met two celebrities that I like and Paul's one of them. So there you go, Paul Sheer, Palm Royale. Kristen, you're welcome to come on the show if you want. Like, Kristen's listening. Like, what am I talking about? Who am I talking to? We're still the dumb podcast no one listens to. But then also, you know what I got caught in the very next night, I get Palm Royale one night. That's probably Saturday night, I think. And then Sunday night or Monday night, I get caught. I got sucked in to that fucking Bachelor. I know you finale. God damn, man. Exact same scenario. Long night of editing. Go walk in. Astrid's got this on. She is weeping like a baby. I mean, she's. Our two kids are right next to her. They're sleeping. And she's just got tears just streaming down her face.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's emotional.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, what is going on? So here's a little recap because probably not a lot of our listeners watch the Bachelor, but if you do, good for you. Then you already know what happened.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And there's no other podcast that recap the Bachelor?

[Brian Green]

No, no other podcast. Only every other podcast recaps their batch. Howard Stern recaps the Bachelor, for God's sakes. He, like, watches it religiously. He talks to their production staff, or at least he did when I was listening to him like five or six years ago. He would, like, talk to their production staff about, you know, twists and turns. Anyway, there's a girl on there who is just super sweet. She's deaf. She's going deaf. So she's got cochlear implants in.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I had a friend who had those.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, so she is. And the maturity on this woman at such a young age. She knows she's not going to be picked. There's two girls left. She knows she's not going to be picked. It's clear and it's obvious to everyone. And the Bachelor, I do have to say, whatever his fucking name is, seems like a really fudgeing stand up dude. I mean, he really does seem like a stand up dude. So she walks out the beach. The whole setting is, she will he, won't he, whatever, right? But I think she knows just because of the production, the way the production is unfolding, she's not going to get chosen also. So she walks up There, he gives his spiel. You know, it's been an amazing ride. You. It's been a journey to love, and I did love you. I do love you. I want to love you, but I just can't be that guy for you, you know? He says a few words. They're nice enough. He seems very sincere. He's crying, and she's trying to hold back the tears, and she says, you know what, dude? I know you're not going to pick me, and that's okay. I want you to be happy. That's what I want for you. But I need to let you know, and I need to walk off this island on my own. Like, I don't need you to. I don't need you to babysit me. I'm walking out on my own with my head held high. She goes, and this is what she said to him. Listen to these words By. By basically someone that's more than half than. That's less than half my age. She says, if I love someone that is not the right person this much, imagine how much I'll love the right person. She says that on national television.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Now I'm gonna cry.

[Brian Green]

Officially making her the queen of everything.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Right? I'm like, if. And I'm staring at my daughter. She's laying next to my wife, and I'm like, am I what? My wife is this human being. If I can grow up, if I can raise my daughters with one fucking ounce of the energy, strength, charisma, and just charity that this person, this woman, showed up there. The Bachelor is manufactured to break hearts. This is the. This girl wouldn't have her heart broken if it wasn't for this stupid television show. You know what I'm saying? This guy wouldn't have to pick between two people that he loves if it wasn't for this stupid television show manufacturing this drama. And we're all watching it, and my wife's crying real tears, and everybody's crying real tears. And it's hard, I imagine, under that spotlight to be anything but petty. It's hard, probably, to be anything but petty. But she says those words, she walks off. She grabs the girl who's going to win, gives her a hug, tells her, I hope that you have the best life. Like, I want this for you. Do this. And you just want to grab the girl through the television, like, give her a hug, but then you realize, she doesn't need your fucking hug. She's going to be just fine. This girl is going to have piles of men all over the place looking to date her. And if her television appearance is any indication of the person that she is, she will pick a good one. She will figure this out. She understands this. It's just like, I want. I just want to, like, I don't know, I want to give her like a TV hug, you know? You ever want to give somebody a TV hug?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like, God damn, I'm watching those, like, seven little Johnstons. And you know, all those little bit of shows about the. The little people. And sometimes it's not about that they're little people, it's about that they also are human beings getting their hearts broken and all this. So this is one episode where this girl on one of these shows is like, she's going through a breakup. It's bad. You know, she's having. She's going through it. She's going through the shit. And I just want to give her a TV hug. That's all I want to do, is just give her a TV hug.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I can't even imagine if I was going through a bad breakup on tv.

[Brian Green]

On television. Manufactured for the drive.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Like, I quit.

[Brian Green]

Manufactured for effect. I know.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And then I'm going to go crawl up in my bed.

[Brian Green]

Here's Astro just weeping like a child, right? And Brian, of course, can't, you know, can't let any moment die without, you know, bringing in his ratchet ass opinion. And I'm like, none of this would happen if they wouldn't have this fucking stupid show. And she's like, you're right. I'm gonna go back to crying now. Thanks, Brian, for ruining everything. Sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. But then, so I got wrapped into watching the last half hour of that, too. I was like, fuck, man. Look at my whole. I just wanted to take a shower. Now I'm crying over the girl. I'm crying over the Bachelor. Look at this.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Well, you've already been seeing, you know, clips of different shows right throughout the season. Wasn't there something with the sisters?

[Brian Green]

The first episode, there was sisters that were there, and I thought for sure they were going to take the ride probably close to the end. And I don't know what happened because I never watched anything else except for then one little snippet like, what do they call that? The hometowns, the home visits, the hometowns or whatever. And I was watching the visitors of this particular girl. I was watching her visit to her house, right? The guy visiting her house and her parents seem so. Fucking. What is. Where did I fall off the turnip truck? And why can't I have a bit of grace like any of these human beings. How do you do that on national fucking? I can't even get through an interview here at the commercial break without falling directly on my face. And these people are saying things like, if. If I'm loving the wrong one this much, imagine how much I'll love the right one. It's like, what. Where did that come. Did someone write that? I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know if someone wrote that for her. I wanna remember it the way that I remember it.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

No, but I think that's actually a good idea to maybe prepare. Because if you think about it, if you go on this show, how many people do you start off with?

[Brian Green]

50, 20 or something like 25.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Okay, 25. I don't know. But, you know, you're probably. Your odds are you're not gonna make it till the end. And maybe it is a good idea to have something prepared that makes you just look. Look amazing at the end. If it comes down to it, yes.

[Brian Green]

I would think you're so right about this. I would think, like, I bet the. The prevailing energy being like you. Yeah, you. But sometimes that happens too. But that's a real honest reaction also, like, you can't blame somebody for being that kind of pissed off. But I would imagine that the energy going into this is, I'm gonna be on the Bachelor. I'm going to be semi famous, right? If I can make millions of people, Millions of people are going to watch this. If I can just make it four or five episodes, I'm definitely gonna have some kind of notoriety because of this. Right. I'm sure some people go in with a plan to have a certain personality so they can attract more attention. I'm sure some people don't give a who the dude is. They're gonna figure out a way to fall in love with him. And then I'm sure that there are girls like Daisy, this girl, right? I'm sure there are girls like Daisy who probably have all of that in their head, but then really find themselves in a situation where, oh, I actually like this dude. Like, I'm. I'm falling in love with this dude. But then you start getting dragged toward the end. It's got to get harder and harder. You're building real feelings, and if you don't have something prepared right, you're going to be reactionary. Either this girl just knew it for weeks and was writing her speech, or it came out of her mouth because she's God here on Earth and we Just don't know it yet. But this. The maturity. The maturity under the lights and millions of people watching and. And really what it would be for almost anybody else, an embarrassing moment is a moment of strength and defiance. I loved it. I thought it was awesome. And I hate. I don't like the. Like, I watch the Bachelor for, like, running commentary like we would do on a mountain. Monsters. That's how I watch the Bachelor. Ask Astrid. She hates it. I come in. I'm like the sisters. Yeah. Inserting my opinion, telling her, you know, all about the production snafus and how they're gonna manufacture this and do that. And then there's one. For one moment. Brian, can you be. Goddamn.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm gonna. Bastard. A little tip. And that is when you come into the room. She hits pause.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And says, hey, honey.

[Brian Green]

Hey, honey. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

This is. This is what I've learned to do with Jeff now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you just pause and then you say, hey.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Because I pa. I pause, and then I say, hey. And I talk to him for a minute, and he comes in and out of the room, and there's no him getting stuck making his comments about how dumb it is or, I can't believe you're watching another housewife show. Whatever it is.

[Brian Green]

Oh. I mean, it is the house.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Unless I'm. Unless I'm cool with them making comments about it.

[Brian Green]

If you're in that mood.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm not out as. Pause it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, I definitely. I tried to.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And then you wouldn't get stuck watching that.

[Brian Green]

Well, Astrid was crying, so I tried to be as tender as possible. That's true. But then sometimes I end up like, okay, I'm glad I watched it. Well, once I saw Daisy up there, I. I had walked in, like, right after she had walked off, and I'm like, wait, he didn't pick. He didn't pick her. Which I didn't even know her name. Now I do. Daisy. But I'm like, he didn't pick Daisy. And she's like, no. And she's like, you know, Astrid's crying.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I said, what a fucking bonehead. Like, she's. I've only seen 16 minutes of the entire season, but she's clearly the one that you should pick. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's intelligent. She seems emotionally mature. She's been through enough life to last seven lifetimes, and she should be begged. Clearly. And Astrid's like, she did this thing. And then he said this thing, and it was so beautiful. And that's why I'm crying. And I'm like, okay, well, rewind it. I guess now I gotta stay around and watch it. Now I gotta get filled in on what's going on.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

So you actually made the rewind happen?

[Brian Green]

Okay, I actually made the rewind.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I see where we're at.

[Brian Green]

I think what Astrid should do is. I'm sure what she does do on a lot of nights, which is pretend she's asleep. You ever done that? I used to do it with my dad. You know, my dad used to be walking down the hallway. I'd hear him, and so I turn off the TV and put the covers over my head. It never fooled him. He'd be like, I know you're up. Keep the TV off, go to bed, go to sleep, and Free Willy. Free Willy. We've already gotten comments about the Free Willy episode. Just letting you know. Everyone is really sad that I had to. Free Willy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think the average life inspecting life expectancy of a rat not in the wild is like six months. So I probably lived with him most of his life. I think him for two and a half.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

Half his life. He was with me for half his life. But I almost cried as many tears over Daisy as I did over Willie. I'll tell you that much right now. And then, you know what? I think they were going to ask her to be the Bachelorette. This is. This is Daisy, in case you want to know. That's crazy. I think they were going to ask her to be the bachelorette. I think that's the way they made.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It seem like they usually do that somebody in the runner up category gets to be the bachelorette.

[Brian Green]

So they brought her out. You know, after all the drama or whatever, they brought her out, and the guy asks her, are you ready to date again? Are you ready for love? Are you ready to find it? And she goes, you know what? It's been a really interesting experience. I've learned a lot. I'm focusing on me. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of the way that I handled myself. And I think right now I'm good. And I was like, wow. If they offered her that opportunity, she turned it down. But also then maybe I think, like, give. Maybe she's got somewhere, someone's telling her, give it a year, go out and do other stuff, ride on this social media presence, and then come back to it another year. Don't they do that too? Like, you know, the Bachelorette?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's a whole new scene. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I Don't know. Again, why can't we be a part of any of this? Why don't we have one good idea? Why don't we have one good production idea? Didn't we have a dating show?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

We're doing the best we can.

[Brian Green]

I know, I know.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And it's fine.

[Brian Green]

Whose house? Our house? Whose house? This guy's house? That girl's house? You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

We're actually in.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're actually in my house. So when you come to my house, don't get snarky with me, young man. But I'll leave that alone for right now. Okay? We're gonna be back. We got lots more to talk about. Stay tuned.

[Christina]

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast. Done. Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-4333, TCB. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-33, TCV. And don't forget to check out tcvpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by Prize Picks. Okay, now, a sporting season has come around that I actually enjoy. The MLB is back, baby. And I'm sitting here on Easter weekend, and I am playing some games on Prize Picks. And let me tell you how easy this is. I picked Joe Boyle, a pitcher from Oakland, to throw more than 6.5 strikeouts. And I got Aaron Judge, you know, Aaron Judge, hitting a home run on tonight's games. And that's it. It's that easy. You pick over, you pick under, you pick more, you pick less. It's just you against the numbers. Prize Pick is America's number one fantasy sports platform where you do not have to be an expert on any of the sports because you're playing against the stats. And while I'm playing Boyle and Judge tonight, I will be playing my boys from Atlanta later on this week. And now, because prize Picks loves the commercial break listeners and you happen to be a commercial break listener, you can go to prize picks picks.com tcb and then use the promo code tcb for your first deposit match of up to $100. That's prizepix.com tcb and make sure to use the code tcb for a first deposit match of up to $100. Now you'll have to excuse me as I go watch the Oakland game and I'll follow up with you next week and let you know what happens. Prizepix.com TCB use that code TCB to get up to 100 on a first match deposit. Thanks, prize picks, for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Oh, God, what a good time here in the studio. Have you been hearing about this Shohane, Shohany Ohtani guy, the Dodgers pitcher?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Oh, the interpreter.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Is it Shohany? Shohany, I think is his name. Yeah, Shohaney. I think I'm saying that correctly. And if I'm not, well, then I.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Haven'T known how to pronounce it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Shohini. Let's, let's see if we can figure out how to pronounce it so we're not slaughtering this guy's name. How do you say. How to say. Oh, Shawnee. His name is show. Hi. Oh, Tani Shohai. Oh, Tani Shohai Ohtani. Okay. All right, so here's the deal. Dodgers make a record contract with this superstar pitcher coming out of Japan. They bring along his interpreter because he doesn't speak English. This is not an uncommon phenomenon in sports. There's a couple golf play, you know, a couple golf professional golfers that have.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

These interpreters. And the interpreters sometimes kind of become synonymous with the actual player. You know, they get, they kind of get recognized as, oh, that guy's with that guy or that guy is with that girl or whatever. So this interpreter's been with him for a long time. Actually, I found stories back like a number of years where he is actually a baseball player himself and he played catcher on some of the, in the same games that Shahani did. So he, the interpreter gets busted stealing millions of dollars from this pitcher, claiming that he made some really big bets with a non legal bookie. Gambling well known bookie who is not on the up and up, apparently. Right. So he makes these millions of dollars worth of bets. And then Shohani, then Shohani then pays for this debt when confronted with this information because the money comes out of Shohanni's account. When confronted with this. The interpreter stands in when like confronted with why are you wiring this guy millions of dollars? Right. He's a known bookie in professional sports, as they should be. Have their eye closely on the betting situation because you can't bet on your own sport. It is a dumb Idea. Think about that. Pete Rose is banned from baseball for life because he did the same thing. It's understandable when you have that much money that you got to get your kick somehow. And gambling a lot of people are addicted to. A lot of people get their high from gambling. But when they confront him with why are you wiring this guy millions of dollars? The interpreter steps in, says, it was me and Shahani gave me the money to pay him back as a favor to me. He gave me money to get out of debt with this particular bookie. Okay, that's one version of the story. But the interpreter says he knew about it, he allowed this to happen. He knew about it. I didn't steal anything. Right. He gave me the money.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Then Shahani goes, comes out, this guy gets fired, Shahani comes out and says, no, I actually didn't know anything about it. I had no idea he stole the money from me. Right. But there is some suspicion that it's possible that the betting was happening with Shahani, that he was actually the one doing the betting. The interpreter came in to take the, take the fall and probably some agreement is made behind the scenes. You can understand why people are making this conclusion. It's not a hard conclusion to draw. Is it true? Is it not true? Who knows? I guess they're going to find that out. But the Dodgers have now made this hundreds plus million dollar investment in this pitcher who is a superstar, who will be good for the sport, who will be good for international appeal, who would be good in so many ways. And because he has been such a big deal, you cannot not let him play baseball like it. I don't think under any circumstances whether he was the one betting, whether the interpreter was the one betting, I think the MLB will find a way to make it appear as if Chinese had nothing to do with it. Why? Because he's too big of a superstar to let go even over millions of dollars worth of betting on his own sport. Now, apparently, according to sources that I have, sports sources that I have deep inside the mlb, deep inside the mlb, also known as my brother Patrick, who knows everything about sports and I don't, the betting was only placed on non baseball related activities, or so they say. How do you even know that? I don't know. If you got a bookie just writing things down like he just burns the paper, that's it. I don't know. You'll never know. But this certainly could be one of the biggest scandals to rock baseball in recent years. But I guarantee no matter what happens, this gets Swept under the rug. And he continues to play baseball. Yeah, I guarantee you.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Seems like that.

[Brian Green]

The problem is the challenges with betting being so prolific. Right. There are literally hundreds of companies where you can download an app and you can bet away on.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And it's legal 30, something states now.

[Brian Green]

It's really legal in every state. If you know how to use a VPN and everybody does. It's built into your iPhone if you. In case you want to. Here, let me help you be a degenerate. It's built into your iPhone. Go ahead, bet. The reality of living in 2024 is that betting is huge business.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it's instant and you can do it quickly and you can do it on anything. Will the next ball hit in this baseball game be the center field, left field, or right field? I'm going to bet $500 on that.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Oh, I know. Yeah. You can bet on anything.

[Brian Green]

Anything. What color shoes is this guy going to wear onto the court tonight? What? You know, is he going to make three points or four points in the next two minutes? It's literally micro dosed in a way that you can bet so quickly, so fast and just without thinking about it almost. You just. It's just luck of the draw. But the truth is the house always wins. It has to. That's the way it goes.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm doing like homework on this guy, right? And like thinking about. Okay, yeah, Shahani, I'm like, okay, let me think about how we approach this on the commercial break. I'm doing homework on this guy in betting in general. And I start to go down a rabbit hole of videos where high rollers who know how to count cards or who have some kind of advantage, not, not illegal advantage, but have figured out some kind of advantage on whatever game they're playing. Walking into casinos, spending hundreds of thousands, sometimes millions of dollars, winning those millions of dollars and then getting backed off the tables and kicked out of the casinos and in some cases threatened as they're trying to walk out with their winnings. One guy claims, I might even say his name because I don't know if the story is true and a lot of people question it online, but it's millions and millions of views this story does about a young kid who goes in. He wins. I forget what the number is. Let's just say $3 million. They back him off the table. They tell him he has to leave, he's no longer welcome at the casino. He goes to the cage to collect his winnings in cash. They give him the cash and he is followed by a blacked out, like, you know, suburban. Right. He's followed. Some drama happens. In other words, he's chased down. Why would you would walk out of a fucking casino with $3 million in cash and briefcases? I have no idea. Like, can you wire that to my account? Can you sell me? You have PayPal, bro. I mean, come on. Venmo, cash app, get it together. Walking out with $3 million in cash, that's insane. I mean, I don't like walking around with 300 in cash in my wallet.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I agree.

[Brian Green]

But anyway, there is so many videos out there that people have made of them getting backed off tables, you know, kicked out of casinos for simply strong armed, strong arms for simply winning. The pit boss comes back to you no longer welcome here. We don't want your money. You got to close up. You got to go to the cage. You got to close up. You got to be done. Because the casinos are not in the business of losing money. None of these platforms are. They're all in the business of winning money. And I'm not saying it's all bad. I don't think it's all bad. I think, you know, have a little fun betting, whatever. Cool. But I also saw this 60 minute special where it talks about how young men, young, mainly single men are being mostly affected by these betting apps. I can see that because it's so easy to do so quick. So so much stimuli going on in your head. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Instant gratification.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Listen, it's like anything. It's like alcohol, drugs, you know, the commercial break, a little bit is fine, but you know, you get crazy with it and then you're really going to get in some mental health and, and emotional health issues. And so I can see how it would be very tempting for a young man who just came into home. Hundreds of millions of dollars of worth of value and some cash. How it would be easy to get your kicks on Route 66 betting on some sports activity. Because that's a little high for you. You know, I, I have some, I have some thoughts, Johnny, let me share them with you. There is a little known but much ballyhooed podcast called the Commercial Break that has been here for four years, making no money, suffering wildly, just trying to put content out there into the air that could really use some of that money that you or your interpreter allegedly are using to bet.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

So bet on us.

[Brian Green]

Bet on us. I'm going to make a. I am a bookie for the commercial break. Bet on us. Why don't you sponsor us for the entire year. $2.8 million. We'll take it. It's a little bit low. The valuation is a little bit low. But you're a friend and I know you' a hard time right now. Why don't you sponsor the commercial break and I will literally dress like you in your Dodgers outfit every single episode. I will put your picture everywhere. As a matter of fact, when we on YouTube, there's no. All clips on Instagram. Tik Tok and YouTube are now just going to be your face. That's it. That's all. That's all it is. That's all it's going to be. I will tattoo your name across my forehead. Anything you want. Low, low price of $2.8 million. Chrissy. And I will accept nothing less. Possibly will accept something less. Yes. Okay. You drive our bargain. $1.2 million. I can already hear. I can already hear complaining on behalf of your. Okay, $600,000. But that's the bottom line. 250. Will. I'm not going to make all the clips your face, but I will still get the forehead tattoo. 250,000. $20,000. And we will call it the Shohany break. That's it. We're done. Okay. Just $25,000. That's all. That's all we need. Johaney, Johaney, come to the warm embrace of the commercial break. You're going to throw that money away at your bookie anyway. Why not throw it away at something that could possibly gain you tens of new fans? I mean, who doesn't want that? The Dodgers will be happy. Your interpreter will be happy. Yeah, it's a safe bet. Here's the deal. Deal. I'll hire your interpreter to interpret all of this into Japanese, the entire commercial break into Japanese, and all you have to do is pay me to hire your interpreter.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

So I think it's a fair deal.

[Brian Green]

$15,000, three year contract. Your interpreter comes, interprets every word that I say. He. He wins. He's got a job. I win. I've got a sponsor. What do you think, Chrissy?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I mean, it's like I said, it's a win. Win for everyone.

[Brian Green]

I think we should actually start a betting service for the commercial break. Will Brian remember the name of what he's talking about correctly or not in the next five minutes? I'll take that bet all day long.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Will, does FanDuel have that bet going?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Prize picks, what's going on with that? Come on, prize picks, get on that right now. The commercial break betting pool. Will we surpass 100 listeners before seven years of being on this show? Will celebrities ever return to the commercial break after certain interviews have been broadcast or not broadcast?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah, there needs to be a little section.

[Brian Green]

Will hold. We laugh. I'd take that. That's probably not a good one for the house because you'll. We'll lose that one, but okay, we'll go. Will Chrissy and Brian. Brian be wearing the same outfits at the beginning of the show? That. That's a great vet. That's a good one. It is.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Because it is definitely a crap.

[Brian Green]

It's a crap shoot. We just. We don't even know when we're gonna change clothes. Sometimes we just change clothes because we're like, let's have a little fun with the audience. Let's change clothes and day.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's like a little, hey, Easter's coming up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there you go. Little Easter egg hunt for you. Try and mix. Mix and match. That's what we figure. If you guys are out there and you're watching an episode and like I say, I'm wearing one of my four T shirts, my Pac man shirt, you can go and then try and find other segments of the show where I'm wearing my Pac man shirt and put them together. It's a secret episode. It's like the super secret recipes at your favorite fast food restaurant. Yeah. If you could figure out the puzzle, then. Then you win. That's another contest we have right there. Will Brian to continue to be married to the beautiful Astrid after season number five. Let's find out how many of Brian's children. Now auctioning off the commercial break. When I started, $25,000. Do I care? $25,000. No, no, no. $25,000. Going once, going twice, going three times. $15,000. It's the only auction where it goes down. $15,000 right here. $15,000. 14.99.9999. $12,000. We don't have $12,000. Look at this beautiful studio. Look at these beautiful people laughing all the time. Four listeners, let's go down to $10,000. I hear $10,000. Do I hear $0? But you must take on all the commercial brave debt. $700,000. It's got $700,000. You're going once, going twice, going right back to Brian.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Nobody was taking that one.

[Brian Green]

No, who would? Who would? I was talking to a friend the other day, and he's like, you know, I was just like shooting the shit about business in general. He's like, oh, yeah, you know, you should leverage the commercial break. Go out there and get a business loan. I'm like, a business loan. What business am I in the business of making no money. I don't think they generally take bets on that. I'm just saying. I don't know. Neil Brennan has a great bit.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Here's all of our wires.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

What will you give us?

[Brian Green]

There's two broken microphones. A shitty Rodecaster. I mean, it's. Rodecaster is great, but it's just. It's old. It's been here for a while. And three computers that are full. Can't put anything else on him. A guest system that only works half the time. Neil Brennan has a great bit about it, and I won't do his joke. You'll have to go watch it. But he. On blocks, I think he does this joke about, like, you know, I realized that student loans were just a business loan, and the business was me. Imagine I went into the bank and said, here's a business idea. I'm gonna spend the next year getting blackout drunk and I'll get a sociology degree. You'd be laughed out of the bank.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

That's true, though.

[Brian Green]

But then as I'm walking out of the bank, I'll go, hey, it's your loss. I had a great way to pay you back. I was gonna pay you $50 for the next 240 years.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's so true.

[Brian Green]

It is so true. Funny, funny guy. He's the funny guy. Listen, Pete Rose, like, wrap to wrap this up. Pete Rose got banned for the exact same thing. And I. I believe if baseball was to do the right thing and they find out through their investigation that Shahani had anything to do with it, there needs to be some kind of repercussions. Because now I'm reading that they're doing like they're. The NCAA is investigating some basketball players, college basketball players, for betting on their own games. And I'm not going to say the name of the college because it's just an investigation, but, man, I'll tell you what. This isn't the first betting scandal that has rocked college basketball or basketball in general. It's too easy to manipulate. Let's say the over the under is 100 points on the count.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

How do they even keep track of that? I'm just being curious here, but, you know, say I'm a player. And I mean, I am a player.

[Brian Green]

But you are a player. No doubt.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Playa play on player.

[Brian Green]

You got that. You got that TCB swagger.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Hoo ha, who not who ha.

[Brian Green]

Who not? Chrissy. Holy on the block.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Say I'm a sports player. And how would that even track. How would you be able to track if I was betting on.

[Brian Green]

Well now some of the colleges actually are monitoring traffic to and from the betting sites, I believe is how. How they're getting there based on that.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

What about like a burner phone or.

[Brian Green]

A. Yeah, I mean, listen, but not every person is smart. Right. But then also, you know, I think that it is a responsibility of the responsibility and probably in conjunction with some of these platforms, if they see something suspicious, if they see something, they say something because they need to get out in front of it too. Like it's not going to do them any good if one of these websites, which I won't mention, some of them do sponsor the show. And, and to make clear I'm not like morally objecting to gambling. I don't think it's a bad thing in and of itself. Go ahead, have a little fun. You know, know, play the, play the slots, play the roulettes, do the gambling on the game. But when you're in the game and you can control the outcome, that's where things start to get a little fussy. So I do believe that it would be in the. It's in the best interest of these platforms to alert people when they see something that may be suspicious, like gambling going on from an IP address right on the basketball court. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Like that kind of stuff.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Like what about if it's you and me, I'm going out and I'm playing basketball, but I'm telling you what, to bet that we're in cahoots.

[Brian Green]

That has happened many times. Like back in. I can't remember when this was, but it was it back. I don't want to think it's back in the late 80s, there was a college basketball player who got busted for this exact same thing he was manufacturing. He some nights he would score 20 points and some nights he would score, you know, 28 points because he was playing the over under. So he couldn't necessarily control the whole outcome of the game most of the times. But what he could control sometimes was the over under. If he missed that basket in the last minute of the game, they still might win the game, but it might be the under. Right. And then he would have people betting big amounts of money on this. And if I'm not mistaken, I think that was also tied up with like the Mafioso and stuff like that. Like there were some People that were helping him pull the strings. But, you know, listen, it's. It's tempting. I understand it. It is tempting. Like, if I'm not losing the game on purpose, but I'm just, like, missing a shot on purpose. Like, that's. Those kids are so susceptible. They're so vulnerable to that kind of pressure. It's got to be. And that's why I agree with college. Professional. Professional college athletes being allowed to get professional sponsorship contracts.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I think it's the right thing to do. If all of these colleges are making billions of dollars a year in revenue on the backs of these college kids who get zero of that money except for the scholarship dollars. This has been a problem since day one with the ncaa because you have these boosters and people around the organization. Maybe not the coach directly himself, but people who are clearly, you know, unofficially part of the organization, you know, alumni. And they give these kids all kind of perks. They pay for their parents to come and live in a nice apartment. They give them a car to drive around. They give them some cash, some spending cash. I'll buy you these new shoes. It's very tempting because the kids, even though they get this scholarship, they still have to pay to live. Their parents have to pay to live like they. They have. Some people, like I did at 18 years old, have nothing to their name.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And no way of generating income. And, oh, by the way, spend 50 hours a week on basketball, baseball, football, whatever it is, and then spend another 30 hours a week on your studies.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So you got 80 hours dedicated to the university. You have to show up at every, you know, photo opportunity. You have to make everybody look good while you're on national television. You know, all this stuff. But I don't get to see one dime of it. Seems like it was a silly idea way in the first place. And now that that's loosening up, I think it can only be a good thing, though there will be bumps and bruises. I think that it can only be a good thing because if you're that talented and you're spending all of your time, energy, and resources on carrying the flag of that particular college school, you should be able. If the college is making a billion dollars on your back, you should at least get 10%. Like this. Just seems fair to me, right? I think so. So now you're starting to see some college athletes that are getting some of these deals. And I think. God bless. God bless. I think it's a great thing. I really do. It's. It's the way that it should be way that it should have always been betting on sports. Different animal altogether. You shouldn't be able to bet on. I think generally, if you're a college kid, you just generally shouldn't be like a college athlete at a high level. You just shouldn't be able to bet. Like, okay, no betting on any sports. Just four years. Just give us four years.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's like, I mean, I remember when I was in college too, there would be just rows and lines and lines of credit card companies.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, just handing out credit cards. $10,000, $5,000 I got in my first.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Couple years in college, I got in such debt because I was just like, yeah, yeah, free money. Yeah, I'll pay you back later, blah, blah, blah, blah. All of a sudden it's like, what?

[Brian Green]

It's crazy. They get, they get you and they got you in your, their grips and now you can't get out. And you know, betting is the same way in a lot of cases. Like some platforms will give you a little running room. Right. Or they'll give you a little credit or whatever it is, and then you get. Just get started and you can't go that way. And I think if they're really smart, the professional sports organizations should get together and they should make their own betting platform specifically for the athletes. Nobody else allowed. If you're playing professional sports in one of these leagues, the NBA, the NFL, the NHL, I think so, the pga, whatever it is, you have to, if you're going to bet, you have to bet through this platform so that we can monitor what you're betting. And by the way, you're not allowed to bet on the sport that you play. Right. And if they did that, then I think they would alleviate some of the temptation.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I like that little. That idea.

[Brian Green]

I do. That's a billion dollar idea that I just gave away. Thanks, Brian. Don't air this episode. I'm just making a note to myself. Don't be. Yeah, just don't. When you want to go and you want to talk about, you know, that idea that you had, just shut your mouth, okay? That's all you got to do. Because you're literally a dumb hole that gives all the good ideas away for free and then does all the bad ideas for money where you pay. I, I do think that that's an idea that that solves some of that. But of course, then, you know, they got the famous betters like Phil Mickelson, who was in millions and millions of dollars.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah, that came out a while back. And I Had no idea years ago that he was that big of a gambler.

[Brian Green]

Was. Or Barclays came and supposedly, according to people who have written books. Barclays, Barclays who. Who I think sponsored him for a while. I think it's Barclays or Deutsche bank, one of those. One of the banks came in and made a sponsorship deal with him. Got him out of a lot of betting debt, according to those sources. And Phil will admit it, say it himself. I love to bet and I had a betting problem for a long time, but I've got it under control now. He's just working for the sound.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I was going to say. That's why he went such a disappoint.

[Brian Green]

Joining in to such a. Such a storied career.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

He was my favorite.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And listen, his wife had breast cancer and his mom had something too. And he seemed like such a supportive. And I mean, maybe he is and maybe he was supportive husband and son.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And father. But he's got some quirks that have come out later.

[Brian Green]

He's got some quirks. He's got a little edge that I didn't think he had.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I don't know him like. I only know him in press conferences and on the. On the. He is. He was one of the most exciting golfers to watch. Chrissy and I watched win the Mask and I'm telling you what they're. That could not have. I think that was my favorite sporting event to watch of all times. Watching Phil Mickelson swing around a tree and hit the 13th green. I mean, just like I remember these moments because he was so exciting. He never. He is a better. He's a gambler. He always takes risks on the golf course and 90% of the time they fail miserably. But the 10% of the time that they work, man, is it spectacular.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Like he and Tiger back, back, you know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Going back and forth.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

And now you got Tigers all wrapped up in his twinkle twangle. And then you got Mickelson's over there playing for the Saudi Arabians where no one will ever hear from him again because that product is. I'm sorry, but it's.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And you know, are they still trying to do.

[Brian Green]

They're trying to merge, I guess. But you know, I've watched. They're on UPN or the WB or whatever that. That golf and there is nobody there to watch it and there is no one on television that's watching it.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah, it is.

[Brian Green]

Honestly, it's professional golf with some of the best players in the world. But Only a few of the best players in the world and then a lot of like, novelty acts. And so it just doesn't feel like the best product in the world. I'm not saying they can't get it together.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And it's not played the same. Right.

[Brian Green]

They have teams and you score points and like the teams have a season long competition. I don't know, it's confusing and I don't like to watch it because the truth is I just like to watch every Saturday and Sunday and see who wins. Like, okay, who are the best golfers this week? Right. That's interesting to me. And if the PGA doesn't figure out how to mend these fences, there's going to be trouble because the Saudi Arabians have more money than God and they can just keep paying people hundreds of million millions of dollars to come work for them, essentially. And I can understand the temptation, certainly, but it's disappointing because as a fan. As a fan, because first, Phil's not playing in the regular tournaments, which I want to see him play in. Although he will play in the Masters this year, I think is what I've, what I've heard.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Oh, that's right. There's like the Masters exception that's coming up.

[Brian Green]

It's an invitational. It's coming up next week, actually. That is an invitational. So he gets invited to it because he's a past winner. Right. But then to watch him just like be, you know, toting around these, you know, kind of shitty golf tournaments, it's like, oh, man, so disappointing. I wish Phil would just. Which he just said, did they make enough money? Isn't there enough? Is there enough? Is there a point where it's enough?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I mean, I don't know what kind of gambling debts we're talking.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that's true. I didn't think about that either. But you know, he's got those sponsorships. He's always in my face about the eczema and the psoriasis. As a guy who has family members with psoriasis, like, I actually, I thought, oh, oh, Phil, yeah, that's a trustworthy name and face. And now I'm like, watch it, watch it. He's embedded. The Saudi Arabians. I don't know about that. Eggs of a cream. You might want to put that down. All right, well, we'll stop talking about sports betting, but first we want you to listen to some sponsors. We'll be back.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

What?

[Christina]

Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TC. BDO. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333. TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back.

[Brian Green]

I was on the TV last night. I see this commercial cascade. You know, the dishwasher stuff. All right, so the cascade says the.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

One, the brain that has three or four different choices all the same.

[Brian Green]

It's all the same.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

But you go for the higher one. Of course you do, because you're like, well, like one them clean.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, 14.99 or 13.99. If I get 13. If I get 14.99, I get them in little packets. I get 17 ounces less. But there's a whole. It's more expensive. It clearly must be better, right?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's such delusional thinking that gets a whole mine.

[Brian Green]

I go to Sam's and I go. And I'm looking at lotion, like body lotion, right? More body lotion for Brian. So more body lotion for Brian. And I'm looking and I see this one brand that I like to use, and it's got one big tub of lotion, right? Enough whacking off to last you a lifetime. So it's got this one big lotion thing and it's. I don't know, let's just say big round numbers. It's 10 fluid ounces, right? For 15. And then I look next to it and it's got two smaller tubs in a package.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Oh, neatly packaged.

[Brian Green]

15 ounce fluid ounces for $13. And I'm like, why is this $2 less? And there's 5 ounces more? I don't understand. And there's more packaging and there's more plastic. Like, I don't understand how this is going. I must have stood there for 10 goddamn minutes reading the labels in the back. That's the ingredients to see if they had the same thing. And I'll be damned. It's the exact same ingredients on both of them. So I'm like, clearly, I'm just. They're just. I'm getting hoodwinked here, right? Pick the one that's less expensive.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah, it's psychology that goes into all of that.

[Brian Green]

So my little mouse brain decides to pick the smaller one.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Your willy brain.

[Brian Green]

To pick the one with more fluid ounces. My willy brain. That' one of our listeners cadence says, why is everything that Brian names have to do with it? Yeah, I don't know. I honestly don't. It just turned out that way. Maybe I'm repressed or something. I don't know. So I'm gonna pick the one with more ounces for less money. So I get it. I come home. We also put it on our children, you know, some. They have some dry patches and stuff like that. And so I come home and I go, hey, babe, get this. Five more fluid ounces for less. And she goes, it's not the same thing. And I go, yes, it is.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It's the exact same thing.

[Brian Green]

I read the ingredients because it's not the same thing. It's thinner, it's water has more water in it. It's not the same type of lotion that we usually use here at the house. And I'm like, but babe, it's the same exact thing. It's got the same label, it's the same name, it's got the same Ingredients. It's got five more fluid ounces for $2 less. And she is like, it's not, but it's okay, you know, we'll live with it. It's lotion. We'll fucking deal with it, right? And I'm like, she's goddamn wrong about this motherfucker. Well, I go into the bathroom two nights ago after I bought it. I go in the bathroom, right? Two nights ago, go. I squeeze it out of the bottle. I'll be goddamned if it ain't just water pouring out of there. I mean, water with a little bit.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Of lotion, same ingredients, more water.

[Brian Green]

More water. Because the first ingredient is water.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Water.

[Brian Green]

And then so you don't know exactly how much they. Once again, Astrid is right about everything and Brian is just has a mouse brain. So I'm watching this Cascade commercial and I hear this alarming statistic and I want to know exactly who is doing this research. It says because we at Cascade know that the average American spends over 200 hours a year pre washing dishes. And I was like, 200 hours a year? That's. I did the math. It's 32.6 minutes a day. You are spending pre washing dishes to then put inside of a dishwasher. Could that possibly be true. Do you spend 32 minutes washing pre washing dishes?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

No, but I guess throughout the. It depends on what they're calling pre wash.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I mean because is that just a, you know, a splash of getting something off or don't know. Is something stuck on there?

[Brian Green]

The devil's in the details.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And you got it. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I want to see this study Cascade. I challenge you to release this study.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

It depends on how many people are in your family too, how many dishes you have to do.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. If you're like me, maybe 32 minutes isn't an unreasonable amount of time spend on dishes. Listen, I will tell you that by the end of the day you have to clean. You have to clear our sink four to five times. I know there's two dishwashers going on at least a day.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm the one who always goes at night and I put it. And I'm. I'm the last guy kind of in the house checking the security functions and all the, you know, all the man stuff you gotta do.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And so I'm always the one who turns on the dishwasher at night. But that's usually the second load, possibly the third load.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because you just go through dishes so quick when you have so many rugrats running around and blue it gets everything else dirty. So. But 200 hours a year seems like an immense amount of time. That's almost 10 days. It's nine days worth of. Nine, eight days worth of just pre washing. So then they say, you know, Cascade allows for, you know, you don't have to worry about pre washing your dishes. They say that but it's not true.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It says the average dishwasher can clean this stuff off. With Cascades help you'll be fresh and clean in no time time. But I go and I eat a greasy burger or some Mac and cheese and it gets stuck in the sink for a couple of hours. That ain't coming off. I don't care. You put, you know, truck degreaser in there and it's not going to come off. It's just. That's just you have to pre wash. Yeah. Am I just stuck in a time in a mentality back?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Maybe let's do an experiment in the.

[Brian Green]

90S when like maybe I'll do it at my house.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

So we're not endangering your 30 kids.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to put have any. I don't need any more illnesses. We've been through a string here at the commercial break. Terrible life and health events. We don't need any more. But I'm really wondering, do we?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm gonna try it.

[Brian Green]

Do it. Leave the dishes in the sink for the whole day. Do it at night. And I know it's gonna be tough, but do it at night. Load them up, leave them there. Wash them with just whatever soap you use. Wash them and see if they really come out clean or if this is just a bunch of bullshit.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

You mean put them in the dishwasher?

[Brian Green]

Put them in the dishwasher. Yeah. And see if they come out clean.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm going to try this.

[Brian Green]

I am a pre washer. I believe in pre washing. I think you should pre wash. I think it's important. I understand it's wasting water. But how, how else am I going to get them clean if I don't put them in clean?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Well, and if you have to wash them twice because it didn't come off the first time?

[Brian Green]

I know, my head stuck in, you know, time traveling back 300 years when I was born and the dishwashers were first coming out in the market. My head tells me, you have to put the dishes in the dishwasher, clean already, to then get additionally clean in the dishwasher. Am I right about this?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

At least rinse.

[Brian Green]

At least rinsed. Yeah, I. I prefer just clean all together. I'll take soap and I'll clean it. And I do realize this is a dumb line of thinking so far. You don't?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, you're just nasty. I'm not eating at your house anymore.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm into the. The dishwasher, where, by the way, there are five different options. Too true. Pot scrubber, quick wash, normal, Santi rinse.

[Brian Green]

What the is that? That pro?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I mean, I always do pro because I know I want the best.

[Brian Green]

That's just a bunch of them.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Clean.

[Brian Green]

And what's the difference? I read through the manual. I don't see the difference.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

And it seems like because you're taking a risk for the white wash.

[Brian Green]

Yes, exactly. That's like going to the Mercedes dealership and the guy goes, well, you can have a C class with nothing. No sunroof, no tint, windows don't even go down. We're like, you're lucky you have a steering wheel in there, $50,000. Or you can have this brand new G wagon with all of the functions, same price, right? And you go, yeah, I'll take the G wagon every day of the week. So when I look at the dishwasher and it says pro or Sani Rinse which to me sounds like sanitize. Like it's like a spritz. Like we're just pissing on your dishes. Your dishwasher just pisses on your dishes. And that's it, right? I'm going for the pro every time. Every time. Time. And then I do this whole dance where I have to put it on a three hour delay so I can take my shower without being bothered.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

You use the delay?

[Brian Green]

I do use the delay. I might be the only human being.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

On earth use the delay. So that's good to know. Why you would use the delay.

[Brian Green]

I've never used the delay until I got this dishwasher over the last year. And it's got a delay that actually works. My last dishwasher had a delay too. It was just naturally built in. It just would delay washing them all together. Stupid piece of. Anyway, so now it's got this delay and I'm like, oh, I, I, I, I don't like when the dishwasher or the washing machine is on while I'm taking a shower. No one does because then it's hot. It's hot and it's cold. You know, you can never figure it out. You turn that end up cranking it real hot because you're like, God damn, the hot water went away. And then as soon as the dishwasher stops, spritz. You know, Sani pissing all over your dishes. Then it's like your face is melting off. It's too much. I am so interested to learn. First of all, can you really not wash your dishes with all that food particles and just throw them in there and get them as clean as they normally are? And number two, what is the difference between Pro Wash and Sani Rinse?

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm gonna do a deep dive this weekend.

[Brian Green]

Somebody knows. I guarantee you somebody knows out there. One of our trucker friends knows. And I don't know how our trucker friends knows, but I just have a feeling they're smarter than the average bear when it comes to this kind of stuff. Stuff. And I know they're going to answer the question for me. So listen, we need this information. Inquiring minds want to know. We have to know. We do.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

We're going to find out.

[Brian Green]

God damn it. All righty, Rudy. Well, TCB Bets soon to be a new app that we most certainly won't create.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Let me put it in the notebook.

[Brian Green]

TCB Bets. We should just call it TCB Loses.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

TCB Bets.

[Brian Green]

TCB and Losses. Because if we could make an app where only you and I could bet on the things on the show then that would probably keep us out of trouble too. I should start betting on the commercial break. I know we'll, we'll have arrived when people can bet on our show. And you know, the, that's coming, by the way. That is definitely coming. Maybe not for us, but for some podcasts out there, Rogan or Smartless or something. All right, listen, we want you to be a part of the show. We already have a few people that are going to come on the show, by the way, a few of our listeners setting it up. We're, we're communicating currently about how to, how and when to get them on scheduling, all that important stuff. But we want you to be a part of the show. Ask tcb. Tell us a funny story. You need our life advice. We're here for you. Consider us your podcast therapy. 212-4333-TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can text us, let us know you want to be part of the show. Give us a little, you know, a quick little rundown of what you want to talk about so that we can make a decision before texting you back. You can also text comments, questions, concerns or content ideas to that phone number and we will respond. It will be us. Someone in the TCB ecosystem will respond to you and thank you to everybody who has been talking to us. By the way. A lot of people chat with us, Chrissy. A lot of people. I love that they don't always say nice things but you know, takes all kinds tcb podcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your piggy fronting sticker while they last. The next sticker is coming up soon, so go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Get give us your address. We'll send off that sticker tcbpodcast.com@the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. Go check out our interviews on that YouTube channel. We would love it, Chrissy. Okay, I'm out of breath. I'm out of energy. I think that's all I can do for right now.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I'm ready to go put our bed in.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hodley]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy. And I always say we do say and we must say good goodbye. It. I take a dick and keep on licking.