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Brian Green
Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking how does anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense. From pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask and when are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your realtor@championsofhome.com that's championsofhome.com this episode is sponsored in part by Mint Mobile. Do you know what I find funny? Frustratingly funny. Like flat earth frustratingly funny. How much money we all pay for our cell phone bills every month I look at that cell phone bill and I go that is for texting, scrolling and making a couple phone calls. Hasn't this technology been around for a while? Why am I paying so much and why does it continue to get so much more expensive every year? I've reached my breaking point and I think this is a psychic sign that I need to switch to Mint Mobile. With plans Starting at just 15 dol a month, Mint Mobile gives you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G network. You get the same fast speeds and solid coverage that you're used to, but without the how is this so expensive moment. Each month every single plan includes high speed data, unlimited talk and text. And here's the best part. You get to keep your phone, your number, your contacts and switching over to Mint Mobile. Totally painless. We have been using Mint Mobile for my in laws mobile service. When they come into town, I get to save real money without actually giving up anything that I'm used to. So this year skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank, get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans@mintmobile.com tcb that's mintmobile.com tcb upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required. That's the equivalent of $15 per month new customer offer for the first three months only. Then full price Plan options are available. Taxes and fees are extra. See Mint Mobile for more details.
Chrissy
Send this to someone infected with anxiety. You've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder a a the cowards disease. And that is okay. You are addicted to being scared. Social situations make you act weird and cringe. You love to do panic attacks. Your brain thinks too much and you're always worried about angering your loved ones or upsetting the hat man. But I don't judge you about this. And nobody should be proud of your infection.
Brian Green
Embrace it.
Chrissy
We're fashions about it. It's anxiety, girl. Summer, let's overthink on the beach and worry about being liked. And always remember, you are loved, even if you're infected with lesbians.
Coach Paulie
On this episode of the commercial break.
Brian Green
Not in a misogynistic way though, Chrissy. No, we don't want anybody to get the wrong impression.
Brooklyn
Can't wait to show her how quick she can get out of. Faster than you got here. It took you six months to fall in love. It be gone in four minutes. Not even six. And this opportunity to show a girl. I always have an opportunity where I put a girl on no Contact. I've had Brooklyn on no Contact many times. She's on half contact.
Rachel
Not half contact.
Brian Green
You're in half. Wow. Polly, Polly, Polly, Polly. Team coach P Team coach Paulie giving you shout out. Let's grow together, baby. Let's get that commercial break audience over there. Quickly.
Rachel
Shake's on half contact.
Brian Green
She's on half contact. You're on half a cocktail or something. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, my dear friend and the co host of this show. Chris, enjoy only. Best to you, Chris.
Rachel
Best to you, Brian.
Brian Green
The best you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Chrissy and I just reminiscing about the good old days, the bad old days or whatever you want to call them.
Rachel
For like 45 minutes.
Brian Green
Yeah, sometimes we get sidetracked. The conversation is funny, but only if you knew the people. So we didn't want to clue you into it. You know, everyone, everyone's got those tales of the friendships and the craziness that goes around in your own friendship group or friends, past or acquaintances that you. But it's only funny if you knew that, right? And they're all the same stereotypes. Crazy lady who dates too much. Crazy lady who too much. Crazy guy who too much. Undercover drug addict undercover.
Rachel
I mean gay guy.
Brian Green
You know, all the same stuff.
Rachel
The Office is really not the show. The Office is really not a bad representation of actual offices.
Brian Green
I think that's why it's so successful. Yeah. And I. What's her name?
Rachel
The romances, the things, the this, that, whatever.
Brian Green
It's funny, when Meredith was on. I say Meredith because that's who I know her. When Meredith was on from the Office here at the commercial break, she said that one of the successes of the show was taking the stereotypes that we all know and exaggerating them to levels that are undeniable because, you know, everyone knows those personalities. There's the tweety dork guy who kisses up to the. To the manager, to the boss at every turn. There's the smart ass who likes to pull the pranks. There's the girl that everybody wants to be with. There's this, you know, the sexed up secretary or whatever. There's the sexed up, you know, HR manager. It's all there. It's all there. We all know it. And we, Chrissy and I happen to have worked at a Fortune 500 company that was very much full of those kind of characters. And it's radio nonetheless, which is like restaurants on drugs. Which restaurants are already on drugs. So it's like being on double drugs. It's just a place for misfit toys to come and spend some time and pretend they're in the real world with real jobs. That's what they do. And you can become fabulously successful in radio. We knew a lot of people.
Rachel
I used to.
Brian Green
I'm sure there still are a few people making great money. As a matter of fact, when we worked there, some people in our own office building were making salaries that I just could not believe for the life of me. You know, I don't want to. I don't want to put a salary to the actual title, but there were people in our building that were making a half a million dollars or more a year. And that just seemed insane to me. There were salespeople that were taking home 350, 400. Now, they had been there for a very long time. There were legacy salespeople thing.
Rachel
Yeah, once you've been there and you've got. You've built that client list and you're consistent. Yeah, it's very much that. When you're brand new coming in, there's no chance.
Brian Green
There's no chance. And that's why radio is truly survival of the fittest, which is not unlike most any other industry that you may work in. It's Survival of the fittest can you outlast, outmaneuver and out strategize the next? The dipshit in the cubicle next to you or standing next to you on the warehouse floor or driving the truck or whatever it is. I was talking to one of my family members who was explaining that, you know, he works in a. I want to be careful about how I say this. He. I don't know, he works in a union. That's probably the best way to say it. He works in a union and he says that, you know, his whole goal in life is to not rock the boat, to be there on time. Yes, sir, no, ma' am. Yes, ma' am, no, sir. Just do the thing. Always be willing to work the extra day, to stay the extra hour, whatever, and go home when you're told. And if there's extra work to be done, you volunteer to do it. You never take a day off, don't complain. Schedule your doctor's appointments when it's not a working day and get on with life. Because he says, there's so many people that do that in the union, that if I'm the one guy who doesn't do it or one of the guys who doesn't do that, when they. When the next project comes up, they will call me first because they'll go, he gives me no shit. He gives me no shit.
Rachel
Dependable.
Brian Green
He's dependable. And radio very much. I mean, I think there's a lot more politicking that goes on in radio. Probably in the union, too, but there's a lot more politicking that goes on in radio. You really have to be kind of like pretty slick.
Rachel
Sly.
Brian Green
Yeah, Sly and slick to get your way through radio, but. And at least that's what I observed. But by the time you're a couple of years in Fuck it, you're like the last man standing. And now you have the Budweiser account. You're making $150,000 a year doing nothing but showing up at cool events and drinking beer and going to the strip club. That's it. That's all you gotta do. So obviously, Chrissy and I were not smart enough to survive even the first round.
Rachel
You did get the Budweiser account.
Brian Green
You did.
Rachel
But then you lost it. No, I never lost it. But by that point, I was so fed up with the whole situation.
Brian Green
Just terrible.
Rachel
I was like, I gotta get outta here.
Brian Green
Didn't you get Yingling, too? Did you have Budweiser and Yingling at the same time?
Rachel
Yes.
Brian Green
Wow. Good fun.
Rachel
That Yingling party was the one we did that. St. Patrick's Day.
Brian Green
Satan's Day. That was one to remember. Or not remember if you're Chrissy. That was. Yeah, that was Yinglings here in Atlanta. Let's get everybody blackout drunk and send them to the hotel next door.
Rachel
That's right.
Brian Green
So anyway, welcome to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is Chris.
Rachel
Hey cats and kittens.
Brian Green
Hey cats and kittens. I just saw a post like 15 minutes ago as we're recording this. I don't know how old it is. Champagne, Poppy. Drake.
Rachel
Oh.
Brian Green
Posting on his Instagram and he. I think he might have a stake in that steak company. I don't say steak like the meat S T A K E which I believe is a betting company if I'm not mistaken. Let me check this out real quick. Steak Stake is T A K E. Steak Casino. That's right, Steak Casino. Now I think Steak and Drake, I think they.
Rachel
Stake and Drake.
Brian Green
Steak and Drake. Drake has a significant partnership with Stake, a cryptocurrency based online casino and sports betting platform that involves Drake promoting Steak through various channels, including social media, live streams and events. Okay, so I think it's fair to say that Drake is gets preferential treatment at this betting company, Stake. At the very least he posted a screenshot of his account at Stake and he posted one. He was betting on the NBA finals and he bet. I don't. I'm just using large numbers here because I forgot what the actual numbers are. $400,000 to return a 1.6 million. Okay. Not particularly strange for a sports figure or celebrity to. To gamble that much money. Happens all the time. Phil Mickelson is estimated to have gambled half a billion dollars in his lifetime with mgm.
Rachel
He was a big gambler.
Brian Green
He's gambler. He had to get out of trouble. And that's how he got one of his sponsors, they bailed him out of like $200 million in debt. That is is the story on the streets. Who knows if it's really true. But then Drake, a couple of like stories later posts. I gotta be real and post the real right like post what really goes on his account. For the week he had bet $24 million. That week he was in the hole $5 million. But for but year to date, fortnight, year to date, $124 million, he had bet he was $8 million in the hole. $124 million. Drake. I don't, I don't know you. You don't know me. I could take or leave your music. I understand you're a pretty big deal. You could spend a million dollars on the commercial break, and at the very least, you wouldn't lose $8 million. You might not make any money like us, but you at least wouldn't lose $8 million. It is beyond me how you, even with hundreds of millions of dollars or a billion dollars or whatever Drake is worth, how you could spend $124 million on betting is crazy. And then you say, well, Brian, you just said Phil Mickelson spent half a billion dollars. Yeah, but I don't have the screenshot. I don't have the receipts. It's like, it's right there. And start, I guess when you make.
Rachel
Big bets and win big, then the money gets on up there.
Brian Green
Yeah, but he was saying, like, you do lose, right?
Rachel
Of course.
Brian Green
Yeah. It's.
Rachel
That's why they call it gambling.
Brian Green
I'm sorry. For the month, he had bet $124 million. For the month.
Rachel
Yeah. Just another month.
Brian Green
Yeah, just another month in Drake's life. $124 million. That's insane. That's what you get for discovering Justin Bieber, who is completely off the rails right now. But that's a. That's a different story for a different day.
Rachel
I saw the latest on that.
Brian Green
He is really, I think, having some issues. Someone put together a reel of, like, him running away from Haley in different situations. Like, just, like, running away from her. Just, like, leaving her, running away. And I don't know, they could all be taken out of context.
Rachel
Yeah.
Brian Green
But we posted that reel. I got quite the response when I. When I was talking about him being buddying up to Judah Smith, the preacher of Church Home, and how some people think he might be in a cult. And then there's just been lots of speculation. Now, I must caution myself and everybody else in getting involved too much in the drama, because this is exactly what the paparazzi like to do. They like to whip up. Yeah. Stir it up. Whip up stories that may or may not be true. And then essentially, it's like art imitating life. Justin goes crazy because everyone's saying he's crazy. Right. It's like, I'm not. I'm not crazy. I'm just trying to be a dude. So. But anyway, you know, Justin, Drake, they're well connected to each other, and apparently they have hundreds of millions of dollars to waste on gambling. And God bless him, I just once. Just once in my life, I'd like to have any amount of money to waste on gambling, let alone 100 million.
Rachel
Besides the 20 that I take if I go to one of those places.
Brian Green
Yeah. The hundred dollars I spent, I'm like.
Rachel
If I lose this, I'll melt.
Brian Green
Astrid and I went to the Hard Rock in Dominican Republic, and they have a casino there. And so you would have to walk through the casino to get to.
Rachel
I've been to that one.
Brian Green
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They strategically put the doors to the rest of the facility, the rest of the resort, right there at the front of the casino. Yeah, you have to walk through. I mean, I guess you could go to another door, but it would.
Rachel
It's like right past the lobby.
Brian Green
Yeah, right past the lobby. That's right. And so you have to walk through it. It's not a huge casino, but it's not a small casino either. It's probably the size of a couple football fields. And then you have to walk through all those slot machines. They're just yelling at you. You can win a billion dollars if you just put a quarter in here. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So we take $100 bill, and we get, you know, a bunch of ones or whatever, and we're just feeding this machine and then we hit, right? It's like, you know, oh, you've won a $288 or whatever. And we're like, holy shit. $288? That's crazy.
Rachel
Yeah.
Brian Green
We didn't even spend $100. We won 288. All right, time to call it a day. You know, I had just started, like, Astrid and I were just like, brand new, married to. And I was like, I want to show how responsible I am. All right, babe, that's it.
Rachel
We're responsible gambling.
Brian Green
Yeah. And then every time we would have to go in or out the door, I would just feed the machine. Like, now I'm feeding it like a 10 or a 20 or a 50.
Rachel
I can hit again.
Brian Green
I can hit again.
Rachel
I know it.
Brian Green
Yeah. Minus $500 later. I'm just not good at that stuff.
Rachel
I know, Me either.
Brian Green
I'm playing that God damn Disney solitaire. And I've spent more money on that Disney solitaire than I've ever spent betting in my entire life. And there's nothing to win. There's nothing to win except fictitious coins and little, like, you know, stickers of frozen characters. And here's Brian. Like, I gotta win this next level of frozen solitaire. That's not even solitaire. Nor does it matter. I'm not gonna win anything ever. And I'm just a D Addicted. I'm addicted to that game, I think, because it makes my brain turn off and sometimes it's really hard to make my brain turn off. And that's just the way it is. Well, good to you. Good for you. Champagne. Poppy. I, I applaud you for Best to you. Here's best to you. Here's what I do applaud. I do applaud you keeping it real. Because I think, and even though those numbers are like, they're supercilious, like, how do you even understand that kind of wealth, right, if you've never been there, you don't have that kind of money. But here's what I applaud. You're posting the wins, but you also posted that in total, in sum, you're not winning. The house is winning and is winning by a lot, by almost $10 million over the month. And so you lost 10% essentially of what you bet, or, I don't know, whatever it is, 7% of what you bet, you lost that. And you're posting it for the world to see. Because if you're going to buddy up to one of these companies, these gaming companies, and you're going to talk all about how much you can win, you should also be able to talk about how much you can lose. And that can be a lot, everything. And that's a real problem these days. I was talking with a friend of a friend who has a, like a family member, young kid, young guy, 21 years old, and he's in some deep doo doo, right?
Rachel
Yeah, I've heard more and more about those stories.
Brian Green
He owes one of these companies like $30,000 and the kid doesn't even have a fucking job. And how they let him get this far out ahead, I don't know. And who the company is, I don't know. And what's going on, I don't know, but I just kind of, this is like, you know, drama, third hand. But I heard that the kid is really stressing very much and had to kind of like go to his parents and say, I up. And his parents are like, holy shit, what are we gonna do? Mortgage the house? I mean, what do you want us to do? And so they had to get a lawyer involved to talk to the company and see if they could stave off legal action. But, but that's just one small example, right? One example in my own sphere of influence about how much trouble you can get in if you let it get out of hand. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it. Have fun. God bless you. Do your thing. I mean, I've gambled. We've all gambled, right? Just be careful. It's. Everybody makes it seem all happy frou frou la la la la. We're all having fun. Every time you turn on espn, they're showing the betting lines, they have someone else talking about what they're betting on. It's very much in vogue to make it.
Rachel
Well, we talked about this a little while back, the gaming of it.
Brian Green
Everything is gamified, right? Everything is gamified because our brains are wired for things to be gamified. We understand that win, lose connection and winning to us at a genetic level sparks a bunch of hormones and emotional rewards. And so when we game, it's very exciting. It's the kind of risk taking that we are built to understand and to keep doing over and over yourself. I did solitaire. Yes. I'm telling you right now, I am addicted to that game. To the point where last night I think that I thought to myself, I should take this damn thing off of my phone because every time I run out of coins, I'm pressing another 3.99 to get more coins so I can play the game more. Because I like the. I like the action of it, right? I'm not getting any rewards. It's not making me richer. I'm not getting head. Every time I win a game of solitaire, at least I should bet. If I would bet, then at least maybe I could win some money. But I'm not doing that. I'm playing a game for children, for God's sakes.
Rachel
I mean, which makes it even funnier.
Brian Green
It is funnier. But I am wired, just like you are, to love that constant feedback of win, lose, win, lose, gotta win, gotta win, gotta win. So I'm, I'm. It's a cautionary tale for all of us, me included. As a matter of fact, Brian, listen back to this episode, and when you do, I'm talking to you. Put the solitaire down, go to bed. No more clicking. Buy here, buy there. I think then they give you, like, discounts, and I'm like, ooh, I can get more coins for 10% off.
Rachel
Oh, well, the discount stuff, that's another thing.
Brian Green
There's another thing.
Rachel
Wired like, oh, it's a discount, then let's do it.
Brian Green
And Disney Solitary.
Rachel
That's free.
Brian Green
Yeah, I know. And the company that makes this is so smart. I know it's not Disney themselves, but. But the company that's licensing these products, they're so smart that this is what they do. I have now logged into that Disney Solitaire Like, 38 days in a row. And every time I log in, it gives me an increasing amount of coins to play with. It costs coins to start a game. You. If you want more cards, you have to buy them. You know, it cost coins and all this. Every time I log into that game and every time I spend more money, they give me more coins when I log in the next day. Like increasing amounts of coins because they know that Brian can't help himself. He will waste the coins. He will lose the game, and we will make another 3.99. We have the biggest fish we've ever had on the line. He's Brian Greene from the commercial breaks with over 50 views on his YouTubes. I'm a sucker. A sucker's born every minute. And this guy was born one second ago. Okay? Understand, it's a cautionary tale for all of us. Be careful. You can get sucked in real quick, and you're in trouble all of a sudden. And unless you're champagne poppy, you're not have enough money to pay these casinos back. And they're gonna come after you. That's what they're gonna do. They're gonna break your legs. That's what they do. They break your legs. Break your legs. I did it. They'll break your legs, but they'll break your balls.
Rachel
You'll fucking feel like they'll break your bank.
Brian Green
They'll break your bank. They'll come after you. They'll sue you. I mean, that's no joke. These people, they. They will. They'll sue you. Now, the civil suit's not the end of the world. You can just. Whatever. But at the end of the day, you don't want that kind of drama. Who wants to go to court and get served papers and all that? Been there, done that. Don't do it. It's not worth it. Stay out of courtrooms. That's the best part. Here's another piece of advice from Brian. Stay out of courtrooms. Even if you think you might win, stay out of courtrooms. It's just no Good. Ask that DJ. Ask that DJT. He hates being in Donnie Trump Jr. Or Donnie Trump, whatever his name is. Donnie Trump Senior. Anyway, Chrissy, we had so much fun at the beginning of this week talking about our new friend Coach Paulie. The. The guy with narcolepsy on his couch who was telling us all about.
Rachel
And the $100 throw pillows.
Brian Green
The $100 throw pillow.
Rachel
Now that they're worth $100. They actually had a picture of $100 bill on the throw pillow.
Brian Green
Yeah, we're not telling you they're a hundred dollars. Like at Target. Go buy one for $100. We're telling you their actual $100 bills. But not wrapped pillows, wrapped in hundred dollar bills. So there you go. But we had so much fun with that. I thought it really was close to a TCB classic instantaneously that I couldn't help myself. Just like the game Disney Solitaire. I couldn't help myself. I had to go back to the well one more time and I found another video of him on his couch. He's in different places, so you got to kind of vet out the ones that he's at. But I found another couch video and I think this one's going to be fun for us to watch because I imagine these things were recorded days apart. He is putting out content at an epic clip. He does like six of these a day or something like that. He's. He's no Frankie B. He's not giving it two months.
Rachel
He's able to nap and like.
Brian Green
Right. Or maybe he's recorded them a long time ago. He's now just getting to them because he just woke up from his nap. So let's do this. Why don't we take a break and we get back. Coach Pauly D. Is back. Tell us more about the game of life and how to get laid. Oh, yeah, you know, it's. We'll be back.
Astrid
Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB.
Brian Green
That's.
Astrid
That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video@YouTube.com thecommercialbreak best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.
Brian Green
This episode is sponsored in part by Squarespace. Squarespace, the all in one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or you're scaling your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Squarespace does it all. We have used Squarespace. We have helped others use Squarespace. We are helping someone we know build their website with Squarespace. Squarespace is easy. It's all there. If you need design, Squarespace has AI tools to help you get cutting edge design. Even though you're not a designer, who is really? Once you get that website up and running, you are going to need to be found. Search engine optimization is the name of the game and Squarespace has SEO tools built built right in Videos. It's the wave of the future, kids. Everyone everywhere is doing videos. You need to do the same thing. You can showcase your expertise and engage with clients. When you put video content on your website, guess what? Squarespace makes it easy. And then once people find you and see those hilarious videos that you're putting on your website and are convinced that they need your product or service, a little change is going to need to exchange hands. How are you going to do that? Payment tools. Those payment tools, they can be awful complicated. But. But Squarespace makes it easy. Head to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace has long been a sponsor of the commercial break. We have long been a client of Squarespace. Thanks again Squarespace, for supporting the commercial break. Hey, what's up flies? This is David Spade. Dana Carvey. Look at. I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of Fly on the Wall. Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday, you'll hear us and see us chatting with big name celebrities. And every Monday, you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts. This episode is sponsored in part by Eat Clean. Okay, Eating healthy always sounds great. Like in we all want to be the person who's chopping kale at 6am and meal prepping quinoa for the next week.
Rachel
But then reality hits. You're juggling work, kids, pets, and whatever existential crisis the Internet's throwing at you that day. Who's got time to wash lettuce?
Brian Green
Exactly. That's why we're seriously into this. It's called Eat Clean.
Rachel
Eat Clean is a chef prepared meal delivery service that actually lives up to the name clean. Whole ingredients. No prep, no cooking, no mystery goo and plastic trays.
Brian Green
You literally just heat it, eat it, and go. It's portioned, it's ready to eat, and it shows up at your front door like a healthy little food fairy every single week.
Rachel
We tried it. The meals are actually good, like shockingly good. For something that takes zero effort, it's.
Brian Green
Been a total game changer. No more sad salads or giving up and ordering fries at midnight. This makes sticking to healthier choices way easier.
Rachel
Oh, and we love this. Eat Clean is a woman owned small business. They're all about making clean eating affordable and realistic for real people with real lives like us.
Brian Green
Go to Eat Clean to go. And use the code pod50 for 50% off your first order. That's eat cleantogo.com code pod50 to get started today. And thank you to Eat Clean for being a sponsor of the commercial break racket. Tack it while I unpack it. Chrissy. He's back. Coach Pauly D with his fake what Hat. What kind of hat is that? Is that a Burberry? Not a Burberry. Fendi. Yeah, Fendi hat. I guarantee that's not real.
Rachel
Yeah, the other day he had on like a Boston.
Brian Green
Yeah. Okay, Coach Pauly D. Is back. I think we talked about this. Maybe on Wednesday we had this conversation. I know. He's got his note next to him. Oh, my God. He's wearing a tank top. He's buff. No doubt about it. The guy's been working on his body, that's for sure. I mean, I wouldn't want to get in a street fight with the guy, but, you know, don't hurt me, Paulie. I'm just having some fun. All right, let's listen to what Paulie has to say in this video. Oh, wait, hold on one second. For some reason, I'm not hearing it right. Well, let me. Let me just fix it. Live on air here. Chrissy, do it. That's what we're gonna do. System settings. There you go.
Rachel
He's got his chain. Yeah, he's going with the tank. Black tank.
Brian Green
You narrate while I do this.
Rachel
Yeah, he's got his Fendi hat on the dollar bill. Pillows are beside him. He's got a fluffy one up above his head.
Brian Green
Good. All right. Good job. There we go. See, we fixed that right on there. Didn't even take a stop. All right, let's go. I do this. Live it. We'll do it live.
Brooklyn
You ever feel like no matter how nice you are, no matter what you do for her, no matter how much money you spend, she just simply doesn't respect you and does not give you the energy that you deserve? She's not a toxic female. Her energy isn't fucked up. You're just soft. Men have always led the way and that's our job too. So if a girl isn't submitting properly, then you are not doing your job. It is never the woman. Understand that. Understand it clearly.
Brian Green
You got to understand that. Chrissy, it's not me, it's God. God said. Said it. Okay, Submit. Smack it, lack it, wreck it. Let's let go. Let's go hit it. Let's grow together. Let's go together, baby. Come on, Chris. Positively, positively. Because you can't. I don't want anybody to think that I'm being negative here. Chrissy, this ain't negative. This is positive. All of it. And by the way, I got a guy on my, on my arm here. You see that? It's Jerry Lewis. I got a tattoo of Jerry Lewis. Does.
Rachel
Oh my God. Jerry Lee Lewis.
Brian Green
Jerry Lee Lewis. Didn't he marry his cousin at 13 years old?
Rachel
Uh huh.
Brian Green
Uh huh.
Brooklyn
Today I'm going to give you the real recipe on how to flip this. Start commanding your woman. Have real submission from your woman. Have an intense relation.
Brian Green
Sit, roll over, fetch, shipping.
Brooklyn
All the positive realms. Nothing negative. Submission, beautiful sex, beautiful relationship. Everything A to Z.
Brian Green
Put on my main chick, let me tell you. Oh my God, I just. Oops. I accidentally put a picture of an ass up there. That's my cousin Viz.
Rachel
She's got a thong on, but at the top it says Paul.
Brian Green
Yeah, it says Paulie. That's of course, because that's my woman. Because I command it. Doesn't matter what I buy her, doesn't matter what I say to her. She's crazy. I'm telling you. It's not me. It's not her, it's me. I'm weak. I got a leader. Lead her by the chain. What I like to do is lead her by the thong. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy? I say, hey, put on this song with my name on it. Don't you forget it. And then on and then she's got another guy's name tattooed on her ass. So it's kind of confusing. What does that say? Carl Domingo?
Rachel
I don't know, Something.
Brian Green
By the way, that's a bbl if I've ever seen. Huh?
Brooklyn
Showing some Things. Cleaning my shoes. Cooking for me.
Rachel
Name Tattoo my shoes.
Brian Green
Cleaning my shoe. That's right, Chrissy, for me. I didn't write it. God said it. He said, let the girl submit positively. It's in a positive way, Chrissy. Always in a positive way. She's at my mom's house cleaning my shoes. As you can see, she's in her song. I bought it for. It's very classy. It's all buttoned up. I don't like. It's all classy, Chrissy. It's all classy, you understand?
Rachel
I got it.
Brian Green
Shut up. You don't know anything.
Brooklyn
I've had six main chicks in the last couple years, and everyone has submit to me mask.
Brian Green
Wow. So quite the run. Six main chicks, one every two months. Good for you.
Brooklyn
Different levels of it. We're at the upper echelon right now with Brooklyn, guys. It's all about the frame that you create from.
Brian Green
With the upper echelon, not at the top. Chrissy, we're gonna. Still got it. Got cut a couple more to go. Got a couple more rungs of that ladder to climb. But you know Brooklyn, she's all right. She's okay. She got another guy's name tattooed on her ass. I said, where's the makeup of shit? I don't want to see that when I'm banging it from behind. You know, I get. I get her on the water cooler, I take her on my mom's bed, I take her inside the shopping center, and then I fuck her right there at the spot. You know how it goes. Kirsty. All right, shut up. Stop laughing.
Brooklyn
Day one. On day one, I lay out the. The frame of the relationship and it never gets turned back. I understand what I'm creating with my woman.
Rachel
He's not blinking.
Brian Green
You don't want.
Rachel
Except.
Brian Green
Well, I'm asleep now. What are you gonna. I taking some bad pills Last time, Chrissy. This time I took the right pills. I meant to take the uptown. The uptown pills. I took the downtown pills. You understand how it goes. Shut up. You know anything? You ain't a pharmacist. I didn't say a. God said it fall into my frame.
Brooklyn
Then it's dead over. No more game Stack Jack. Why I teach you how to Mac? I forgot about that. Subscribe to the video, boys.
Brian Green
Let's fucking grow.
Brooklyn
It's me and you growing to the top. Ah, fit, Stack Jack. Money Muscle mindset, baby. Boxing work tomorrow. I'm excited about life. I strain my show.
Brian Green
I say a lot of words. I know a Lot of words I'm.
Rachel
Still trying to accomplish.
Brian Green
Stack Jack, help me unpack. Stack Jack, help me pack. I gotta go to sleep over here in this sack, you know what I'm saying, Chrissy?
Brooklyn
So when I just did that, it hurt. I'm still doing it, but it's gonna get better. I just did 30 push ups. I'll get it better one way or another.
Brian Green
One way or another. I've been whacking off a lot. You know what I'm saying, man? Well, in between naps, I've been whacking off a lot. Snap, crack. Help my hand. Whack.
Rachel
He said he strained his shoulder, but it's okay.
Brian Green
Yeah, he's going to.
Rachel
He's did 30 push ups.
Brian Green
He's okay. I'm going to do 25 push ups right now.
Brooklyn
Burpees. But I'll still do them. And if it really hurts when I keep doing them, I'll just do a sled on Friday night so my guys who replace the burpees could change up anyway. And I'm going to get better because I'm an inevitable, unstoppable.
Brian Green
So more words. Did you hear more of my words? It's one stream of consciousness motherfucker. By the way, what is that dead Star wars creature on the back of his head? What is that?
Rachel
I don't know.
Brian Green
It's like a fuzzy pillow he's got behind his head. Is that to hold himself up?
Rachel
Yeah, I think so. Keep his head up.
Brian Green
I don't know, in place. I suspect there's some chemical in the mix here. I just can't believe it.
Rachel
There's gotta be.
Brooklyn
Yeah. Guys, subscribe to the video. So it's all about that frame that you create. So the first issue is you guys are showing weakness. You ask her permission, you ask her if she wants to go here, you let her lead in the relationship.
Brian Green
And a nice stock video of some crazy person he's showing. Stock video. Frankie did this for a while too. He started putting stock clips in his. He quickly learned that that was not the way to go. Paulie will learn his lesson all different.
Brooklyn
Avenues from asking questions to letting her act. Dress certain ways. And it's not that you're a misogynist, it's that.
Brian Green
Oh, it's not. Oh, what do you call it? Yeah. Not when, okay, you don't lead and.
Brooklyn
She wants you to. So instead of even in a nice way, suggesting what you wear on a Friday, Saturday night, whatever, you just let her run the game. And she wants a man like me to take the Lead?
Brian Green
You're asking?
Brooklyn
Hey, do you mind if I do? Like, can I go out with the guys? Hey, do you want to go here Friday night? Do you want to do. This is not turning her on in any way, shape or form. This is not how we do things.
Brian Green
We're going to Taco Bell. I already told you twice. Shut up. I don't know what to tell you. We're going to Taco Bell. I'm going out with the boys. I'm going to fix my hand by getting a couple extra whack reps in. I'm going to go down by the whacking tree, rack it, stack it, get me packed it and then we're going to go. I told you, I want to go to Great Wolf Lodge. I like the water slides. Shut up. Shut up already. You're in the upper echelon, but let me remind you, you are not the top. I got a couple more rungs to go, so enjoy it while it lasts. I set the terms day one and then you follow them.
Brooklyn
So you're asking for permission and pure weakness. Okay, this is you think, but not.
Brian Green
In a misogynistic way. I know. I feel like I'm at. I'm at massage envy waiting for my masseuse.
Brooklyn
This is turning a woman on, bro. Say weak, say bored. You think she's turned on, turn the fuck off. Permission we weakness. That tolerating disrespect. And then when she comes at you with you tolerate it. Okay? I always say. I can't wait till she up. I can't wait to show her how quick the door is.
Brian Green
Oh, not in a misogynistic way though, Chrissy.
Rachel
Oh, no, no, no.
Brian Green
We don't want anybody to get the wrong impression.
Brooklyn
Can't wait to show her how quick she can get out of here. Faster than you got here. It took you six months to fall in love. You'll be gone in four minutes. Not even six. And this opportunity to show girl. I always have an opportunity. Opportunity where I put a girl on no contact. I've had Brooklyn on no contact many times. She's on half contact.
Rachel
She's on half contact.
Brian Green
Pauly D. Go. Hey, it's me. You're on half contact right now. I told you not to call me. I know, but I just. I'm stuck in half contact. I can only understand half of what you're saying. You're in half contact. Wow. Paulie Poly Polly team coach. P team AT team coach. Paulie giving you shout out. Let's grow together, baby. Let's get that commercial break. Audience over there, quickly. She's on half contact. You're on half a cocktail or something. You forgot to take all the medication your doctor prescribed you. This is insane.
Brooklyn
It was something else she did. It wasn't anything anyone would care about but me and my dynamic.
Brian Green
But it wasn't anything anybody else will get upset about but me and my dynamic. I I not in a misogynistic way, Chrissy. Positively. I didn't say God said it. What I did was I threw her out a car window. And I said, have contact till next Tuesday. Shine my shoes. I gotta go take it.
Brooklyn
I'm creating a savage businessman. Fitness mogul, things like that. My girl needs to act a certain way in public, and that's very important. I'm introducing you to many people. You can't embarrass me in any way, shape or form. Anything. I even half think about that. I like that. That means I did not like it and we correct it.
Brian Green
You guys.
Rachel
What?
Brian Green
This guy is the. Ah, man, I don't even know what to say here, Chrissy. He is the mashed potatoes of all mashed potatoes. He literally has soup in his head. He's got soup in his head. He's full of ragu. I don't even understand what he's saying, really. He's creating fitness mogul. So anything I half think about, did I like it? No, I did not. Yeah, anything I half like, I did not like. I did not like that. It's half like now. So you're on half contact. You get it? You understand? We're training you now. Come on, Brooklyn. Let's get it together. Brooklyn. Someone check on Brooklyn. Someone check on Brooklyn. Hey, Brooklyn, you okay? Call us up.
Brooklyn
Letting girls disrespect, basically spit in your face in public, tell you this, that. And you're just dealing with her attitude. Just dealing with it.
Brian Green
Why?
Brooklyn
Because you don't love yourself, but you have a safe board and turn the fuck off. What we're gonna do is.
Brian Green
Safe board.
Rachel
Safe word.
Brian Green
Safe word. Safe word. Please stop hurting my feelings in public.
Rachel
He's a mogul.
Brian Green
Raincoat. Raincoat. I'm saying the safe word. He's a mogul. He's a mogul with his pillows from Hobby Lobby scenario.
Brooklyn
And how we're gonna segue into the, into the healing is you need to take control. You need to be an utterly disciplined man.
Brian Green
Okay, I see the parallel here. There's a picture of what I have to imagine.
Rachel
I can't make this up.
Brian Green
You can't make it up. What the stock photography he's putting in here is. It's an Asian man laying on the floor with his closed. Yeah, take control. Nothing says take control like taking a nap.
Brooklyn
And in the life you've created with her. So how do we create this when you've already had a faltered setup? Now she cancels Friday night, we're doing this. I cancel on it. You cancel.
Brian Green
Don't wait. I cancel. She cancels. I canceled. I canceled. First she canceled. I canceled, then she canceled. I canceled first. I said talk to her for a week.
Brooklyn
Listen, I don't do this and take a little time apart. We're not going to talk for the next 72 hours until I want to give you an opportunity to think about what she did. She flips out, let her go.
Rachel
Eventually she is that half contact.
Brian Green
Oh, my God. That's half contact. 72 hours. Go think about what you did. Here's the reason why most guys don't do that. Because human beings don't deserve to be treated that way. First, Paulie. Coach Pauly D. Second of all, most guys that don't, quote, unquote, train their women to submit to them would instantaneously lose somebody they cared about if they put them in a. Like a no contact order for 72 hours. What in the good fuck are you suggesting? This is really dumb. Really. I mean, I imagine that most people that are listening to the show understand that, but Paulie, I think you got it all backwards. But I think it's like built on mutual respect and conversation and communication. If you're arguing or dislike disliking each other's personalities or behaviors that much, it's probably an indication you shouldn't be together.
Brooklyn
Opportunity. She's late for the date. Make her cover the tip.
Brian Green
If not the whole bill, make her cover the.
Rachel
Oh, my God.
Brian Green
I see where this is going. I see where this is going to be.
Rachel
Covering the tip, if not the whole Bill.
Brian Green
The whole Bill. This guy needed a daddy, but that taught him differently. This guy needed a dad that did not treat him the way that he got treated. Because this is. It's obvious that he thinks that punishment is the way to submission. And submission is the key to a good relationship. When I. My. At least my interpretation is the exact opposite. Yeah, you want them. You want somebody to be feisty. You want someone to have their own personality. You want someone to feel like themselves. Themselves. And the ability to communicate honestly and openly and with transparency. If they're being disrespectful, then there's a conversation to be had about that, certainly. But you shouldn't even be dealing with that from the beginning. I can't think of one time when Astrid was, like, yelling at me in public and I had to put it. I thought, well, I got to put her in her place. No, we don't do that to each other. And if you're doing that to each other, you either, A, like it, B, are just taking. You're in the wrong relationship and you don't know what to do or circumstances that's. You're just in a really shitty, toxic relationship. You need to get out.
Brooklyn
As things I did with my a few, like, girlfriends ago made sure I made it pay the tip on one of our last bills. Because she was acting up. Not only was she 15 minutes late. I was thinking about that. But then she was cute. I was gonna let it slide.
Brian Green
She came in and titties were hanging out a little bit. Chrissy. So I said, all right, I'm gonna let it slide. You only have to get this dinner the next dinner and my rent for next month. But then she acted out. Chrissy. I said, I only half like this hamburger. And she said, oh, so you liked it? And I said, you fucking bitch. Did you hear what I said? I said, I half like it. That means I don't like it. You pay the whole bill now. And the tip don't tip good because they didn't have good service here. Fuck that.
Brooklyn
We were on our makeup of a few breaks and halters in the relationship. And then guess what? She acts up the whole time. I said, yeah, here's my credit card. Take care of the tip. And it was a big deal. She did not like that at all.
Brian Green
Here's my credit card. Take care of it. And now Bill. She didn't like that at all. She didn't like that you paid for the bill. I think you're trying to save this story at the last minute, buddy. I think he was trying to save this story.
Rachel
You pay this too.
Brian Green
This guy is a cartoon character. You can't be real. You can't be real. Paulie.
Brooklyn
Fucking like that. But that's all right, because guess what? I knew she had to go anyway. And that was another test to see how she react. Everything with my woman is testing. I need her to understand that everything's a test when you grow up.
Rachel
You guys, what is with the editing? He's, like, getting close up and then back and then close.
Brian Green
I know the other. The last episode, he could not keep his eyes open. And now he cannot close his Eyes. He's like the exact opposite of what? This is weird. Everything's a test. That's the worst kind of human being to be around.
Rachel
Like a relationship built on tests.
Brian Green
Yeah, I love a good relationship built on tests. Because guess what my favorite thing as a kid was Tests. We all have fond memories of tests.
Brooklyn
You're in control. Why are you not putting tests on people? You need to control the scenario and the situation. Always shapes and forms. You need to constantly give them hoops to jump through. I'm going to talk about the four hoops I have a girl jump through if they're matching on a hinge or getting a DM on Instagram. Because I don't DM first anymore. I only receive.
Brian Green
I bet you do. I got to talk about the full hoops. We got to jump to Chrissy. But first, I got to take a nap.
Rachel
Yeah.
Brian Green
All right, let's do this. Yeah, I know. Take a break and then we'll get back to this unbelievable video. I thought it couldn't get worse than yesterday, but it had. He went from 0 to 100 overnight. All right, we'll be back.
Astrid
Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video@YouTube.com thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.
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Brian Green
All right, back with Coach Paulie and I don't yeah, I'd love to tell you the name of this video, or the subject or the title or the theme, but there really doesn't seem to be anything going on here except for him in a stream of consciousness conversation to himself about all his ex girlfriends and the things they've done wrong to him.
Brooklyn
He said if she tests you against an attitude in any way, shape or form, at the house or out of the restaurant till the night's over. Sorry honey. Text me in the morning if you feel better and ended, mean that otherwise she will do it over and over again. She knows you're a bluff and you don't mean anything. The moment she sees you mean business, the world is yours. You have to.
Rachel
Oh my God. Don't text me until the morning.
Brian Green
You. You failed the test. Test me in the morning. Hey mom, can I get some ragu? I'm not going out with Brooklyn. Brooklyn's not in the upper echelon anymore. She's on a no contact ma don't answer my phone for nothing, for nothing nights.
Brooklyn
And you have to add tips to her bill. And you have to go, no contact.
Brian Green
Contact. Add tips to her bill. What are you talking about?
Rachel
He's focused in on these tips.
Brooklyn
I know things are gonna have to be one, two or three, even the best of the best. The way my new girl treats me is insane. I still went three times. No contact. No, I haven't made a pay a bill. She pays her own flights here all the time. Because that's a lot of reciprocation, right? So I do all these things for you, I pay for things on the fourth time or your next flight. Why would you not want to pay? If you and Tom went to the boss, he buys you by, right? The law of reciprocation says it's his turn to pay. So why? When you get a vagina involved, it changes the law of reciprocation.
Rachel
Holy shit.
Brian Green
What in the good fuck is going on in your brain, bro? Wow, wow, wait, I get. I'm gonna understand exactly why Brooklyn is paying for her own flights. Cuz you ain't got no fucking money. And I guarantee that's the bottom of your mom's basement. Guarantee that's your mom's basement. Basement. You do not have your own house for sure. Without a doubt. I mean, I don't know for sure, so let me not say for sure, but without any doubts in my own head. You're in your mom's basement and I bet you take her out to the finest eateries like Cheesecake Factory and Chili's Fucking douche.
Brooklyn
There's a lot of reciprocation, doesn't have a sex, there's no agenda. Check water boxes. So with that being said, I have a pair of flights, I reciprocate, I take care of everything else here. Never tested me, never raised over voice, never cancelled or anything. But the first time I was gonna have her not come here when she was driving from Connecticut and scared the shit out of her cuz she took too long, got a different call cuz she couldn't take the shitty car on the rental. I said listen, let's just call tonight off.
Rachel
I don't even know what to say.
Brian Green
This is so much better than Frankie B. This is so much better than Frankie B. Sorry Frankie, I found a new boyfriend.
Rachel
Yeah, this is, this is the upper echelon.
Brian Green
This is Paulie, Pauly B. Right here. Pauly B. This is the upper echelon of jokesters. Because Frankie, you're pretty good and I'm not gonna leave you, bro. Don't worry. I'm not gonna put you on a no contact like Pauli would. But I do have to say this is so much deeper of a like, fucked up mentality than Frankie has. If you put me in a room and I was a woman, I would go to Frankie every day of the.
Rachel
Week because 100%, at least Frankie makes.
Brian Green
Me LA guy just scary in the way that he thinks he's got a weird mentality. I told him when she coming up from booker, she had changed costs because that shit ain't reliable. I said, don't even come. Don't even worry about you at my front door. Turn around, go back to Connecticut. I don't even know where I live. I didn't even know. I didn't even know what to tell her. I had to call mom. I said, mom, what's our address? No, you know, I don't know how to spell our street name. Mom. Call me. Fine.
Brooklyn
She got crazy. She's pleased. I've never met you before first date. So let it go to that lady.
Brian Green
She's first date.
Rachel
Wait.
Brian Green
First date, Wait.
Rachel
I've never met you before.
Brian Green
Please, please let me come. Let's listen to that again.
Brooklyn
Please. I've never met you before first date, so let it go for that. But she strongly understood after that. And that's on our first date. I don't want to get late. So we had such strong connection through messaging and everything else.
Brian Green
Oh, I'm sure you did.
Rachel
Oh, my God.
Brian Green
Whoa. Who's writing your messages for you? Who's writing your messages for you?
Brooklyn
It's on attitude. You must make it. Pay the tip. Go. No contact. People can say it's misogynist. No. I have a great relationship and I've always had great relationship. I love my woman like nobody else. My look bad like me. She rocks Gucci hats.
Brian Green
You understand me? She rocks Gucci ads. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. This guy is a goomba. He's like the definition of goomba. I have mad respect, mad respect for my Italian brothers and sisters. I grew up with you. I know all about it. But I gotta be honest. This guy, he's making us all look bad. He's an idiot. For five of us now, for our.
Brooklyn
Best interest better than anybody else. What else can we do to fix this problem? Is completely building a lifestyle that you cannot resist. A to Z discipline. Social media platform of your personal brand growth.
Brian Green
Are you hearing this out there? How can you build an unstoppable relationship. Social media platform with a brand lifestyle. That's the first thing I look for on a Tinder profile. Do you have a social media platform with a brand lifestyle? If not, I don't even want to know you. Yeah, let me see your brand lifestyle. Who's that company? Brandonista or Brandista.
Brooklyn
And fitness. Finances, family and faith. Showing energy that people.
Brian Green
I said the four words that Frankie always. He does I wish family and fun or whatever.
Rachel
Yeah, he said faith.
Brian Green
Yeah, he said faith. Frankie doesn't say faith. He knows better.
Brooklyn
The respect and being like a godlike figure. And she's gonna have to treat you like a godlike figure. Why is she gonna treat you that way when you're not that way? This is the easiest tip I can give. It's gonna take six months.
Brian Green
It's the easiest tip I can give, but you gotta pay for it because you're on a half contact.
Rachel
He said it's gonna take six months.
Brian Green
Oh, it's gonna take six months, a.
Brooklyn
Year to even get some of this respect. If you're starting from zero. So we app subscribe to the channel and we do get more to see.
Brian Green
Oh, he's falling asleep halfway through the video. Here we go. Yeah. This is what I'm talking about. This is either true narcolepsy or some kind of chemical is now coursing through his.
Rachel
I'm going chemical.
Brian Green
I'm going chemical, too. And I bet I know which one.
Brooklyn
And comment. Anything hit me up in any way with a comment, go to my Instagram DM me, and we can talk more about the game for free on me. But you need to build that lifestyle. Everything A to Z.
Brian Green
And number three, I don't want any. I don't want any half content text. I want you all in ship creation.
Brooklyn
Is lead with massive example.
Brian Green
Show the lead with massive example.
Rachel
You know, massive example.
Brian Green
That's right. Your example. Got to walk in the door before you do.
Brooklyn
Christy, new life, like I said, with number two, building lifestyle gym D that she wants to follow. Couples that sweat together, stay together. I actually believe that. Corny.
Brian Green
Because it's real.
Brooklyn
Real. Show all that lead with that lead when you're taking her out all these things. Let her buy the dress that you're gonna put her in on Friday. Take massive power.
Brian Green
Let her buy the dress you're gonna put her in on Friday.
Rachel
Yeah.
Brian Green
Let her pay for everything that's his. That's the way to go this.
Brooklyn
To the gym, baby. We're going to the gym Saturday. We're Going out to dinner Friday, Sunday morning. You're gonna make the bed. I'm gonna order in breakfast. We're gonna have sexual day. And then the sweet's gonna be crazy. I'm gonna help you blow up your business in this way. I'm going to send you flowers on Tuesday to your job. Wednesday is going to be like.
Brian Green
We're going to pass out flyers on the Jersey show. I'm going to blow up your business. What do you do? Oh, you're only fans. Model. I'm going to help you blow up your business. I'm going to take videos.
Brooklyn
This next Friday. We're not hanging out because I got some other things to do. Let them mysterize what you're doing.
Brian Green
Mysterize. Yeah, that's fine. Now we're making up words.
Brooklyn
See you the next week. And when we do that, you're going to wear this. It's going to be beautiful. When I walked around by the pier, this is going to be like this.
Brian Green
Going to.
Rachel
Oh, my God. I'm gonna spit out my drink.
Brian Green
I can't even. I can't even make the jokes. Cause they're just making themselves. I'm gonna walk you around the pier like the Shetland pony you are. We're gonna let the kids pet you. We're gonna collect some tip money. Wow. I'll bring that little portable water bowl you like. I'll get some treats. You could do some tricks. We'll take some pictures with the kids. You know how it goes. I didn't say it. God said it. Racket, pack it, smack it. Let's go back it out of frame.
Brooklyn
And that's a part. 1, 2, 3. To make this situation proper and get you out of that funk of being disrespected. And I treat it right not having the things go the way you want, but how nice you are. Now, I want you to ask yourself these questions to close out. Does she look up to you and respect you massively? If not, then we need to fix that. Because a woman will die to surrender to a man that she admires and wants and wants to take the lead. Surrendering and submission is something that they want to do as a female.
Brian Green
Wow. I mean, where did you learn anything?
Rachel
Anything? Anything.
Brian Green
I think the American school system is broken. I think the American school system, this is definitely improve.
Brooklyn
So many girls are in so many unhappy marriages on antidepressants because they never found a man to take the lead. I've had three chicks come off antidepressants while they're with them.
Brian Green
They Got off one pill, went to another. Yeah, they went to another. Guaranteed.
Brooklyn
So powerful what it could be if you just take the lead and handle everything for a woman, you understand? And that doesn't mean finances. That means show discipline, daily habits. Build businesses together, work together, help each other through everything. Have conversation, show where we're going. How.
Brian Green
What's that noise in the background? Like that hissing gas noise? Is he pumping nitrous oxide?
Rachel
That might explain.
Brian Green
That might explain something.
Brooklyn
We're doing everything. Protect and provide. You understand me? Be dangerous, but disciplined. Dangerous, but not an. Manly, but not a Stoic, masculine, but not a piece of. Be kind, but be a. Oh, my.
Rachel
God, I can't keep the. The. The.
Brian Green
Yeah, the back and forth.
Rachel
It's close. It's away. It'.
Brian Green
The editing on these videos is terrible. Imagine he does it himself, but maybe Brooklyn does it.
Rachel
They're building businesses together, by the way.
Brian Green
Let me tell you, Brooklyn, I'm on your side, so don't get it twisted. I'm on your side. Get out. Get out the war, but take care.
Brooklyn
Of your relationship so she doesn't have.
Brian Green
To get ready for war.
Brooklyn
This helped at all? Subscribe. Hit that button.
Brian Green
Hit that button. Button. Hit it. I can see some people just smashing their. Their computer screen. You told me to hit the button.
Brooklyn
Comment anything that you liked in this video at any time and then click the link to the Instagram. Go follow my free fitness and dating content. Instagram's all fitness. Come on, man. Stack Jack, why I teach you how to Mac? Hit me up on Alex. Just talk for free. I want to get to know my people, man. Let's grow the muscle architect, baby. But.
Brian Green
The muscle arch, by the way, I just want to point out this video ends at 8 minute and 28 seconds. It's actually 10 minutes and 38 seconds long, so there's two minutes of nothing literal dead air. That's some tight editing going on in that editing room. Oh, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, contact us. We feel for you. We know you're out there and. Oh, wait. Oh wait, I'm starting. I got me so messed up. I'm starting the show again. I gotta do it over. I want to hear it twice. Oh, wow.
Rachel
Thank you to the listener who sent us Paulie.
Brian Green
Thank God to the listener. I know. I'll shout you out next time we do a Paulie video. I'm sorry, was it Amanda? I can't remember. I don't want to get it wrong. I'll get it right. I'll go back and I'll look, this was Sent a of couple of weeks ago or maybe even a month ago, an Instagram reel was sent to me and said, you gotta check this guy out. And within a minute, I was like, oh, this is young Frankie B. But I could not have possibly known just how deep the rabbit hole goes, because this is so much worse and better than anything Frankie B. Has ever said. Wow. Poly, man. It is. Paulie, man, listen, first of all, all in good fun. Second of all, you got a lot of things twisted in your head, man, and I would love to talk to you. I mean, we can talk it out. I just think. I just think you got a little bit of a different weird perspective on life and on relationships and on women. It's not transactional. They're not objects, bud. They're not objects. They don't want to be led, I don't think. I'm sure some of them do. What's that? Or have contacted or full no contacted or whatever the rules of your game are. I think everyone just wants to be respected. I think that's what it is, right? And if you can get to that place with most people, I think that's okay. I do think there are some women who want to be led around. I think there's some men that want to be led around.
Rachel
I agree.
Brian Green
That's okay. Yeah, yeah, that's okay. If that's what you choose to do. If Brooklyn's in on that, cool. But this is bad advice to be giving everybody in general. But anyway, you're gonna find your people. There are gonna be hundreds, if not thousands of people following you before too long because it's 20, 25. It's the end of the world, and that's what's happening.
Rachel
Yes.
Brian Green
All right. 212-433-3. TCB. 212-4333. TCB. Exciting news next week to tell you about as Chrissy and I have the first TCB miniseries series coming at you very shortly. And you are gonna love what we have in store for you. So you want to make sure you follow us on Kick and Twitch@TCB podcast. Add the commercial break on Instagram. Also, we'll let you know about anytime we go live, any of the events, tcb podcast.com on the web and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day. They air here on the audio. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today, I think. So I'll tell you that I love you.
Rachel
I love you.
Brian Green
Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.
Dana Carvey
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Brian Green
I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy?
Dana Carvey
And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or.
Coach Paulie
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Brooklyn
Sam.
Brian Green
30.
Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break - "You're On Half-Contact!"
Release Date: June 27, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley
Guests: Coach Paulie, Brooklyn, Rachel
Overview
In the episode titled "You're On Half-Contact!" of The Commercial Break, hosts Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley delve into a variety of topics ranging from real estate challenges in California and the struggles of anxiety disorders to the pitfalls of gambling and problematic relationship dynamics. The episode is characterized by the show's signature improv-comedy style, blending humorous anecdotes with candid discussions and guest interactions.
1. Navigating the California Real Estate Market
The episode opens with Bryan sharing his personal experiences of purchasing a home in California. He emphasizes the complexity of the process and the indispensable role of a reliable realtor.
[00:02] Bryan Green: "Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces."
He advises listeners to engage a realtor to navigate pre-approvals, paperwork, offers, and closing, highlighting the realtor's ability to provide steady support amidst the overwhelming process.
2. Addressing Anxiety Disorders
Chrissy transitions into a poignant segment about anxiety disorders, humorously yet sensitively portraying the challenges faced by those diagnosed.
[02:25] Chrissy: "Send this to someone infected with anxiety. You've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder a the cowards disease. And that is okay."
The conversation underscores the importance of understanding and empathy towards individuals battling anxiety, while also injecting the show's characteristic humor.
3. The Allure and Dangers of Gambling
Bryan and Rachel engage in a discussion about high-profile gamblers like Drake and Phil Mickelson, examining the allure of big bets and the consequent risks.
[10:18] Rachel: "He was betting $124 million. That's insane."
They critique the glamorization of gambling, emphasizing the real-life consequences faced by individuals who lose substantial amounts, including mounting debts and legal troubles.
4. Gaming Addiction and Its Impact
The hosts shift focus to gaming addiction, particularly through Bryan's personal struggle with Disney Solitaire. The segment highlights how gamified experiences can lead to compulsive behaviors.
[19:24] Brian Green: "I am addicted to that game, I think, because it makes my brain turn off."
The discussion serves as a cautionary tale about the seductive nature of gaming mechanics designed to exploit psychological triggers for continuous engagement.
5. Problematic Relationship Advice with Coach Paulie and Brooklyn
A significant portion of the episode features guests Coach Paulie and Brooklyn, who offer relationship advice that borders on misogynistic and manipulative. Their segments focus on controlling and "training" partners to submit, which Bryan and Chrissy critically analyze.
[30:33] Brian Green: "She's on half contact."
[36:57] Brian Green: "This is bad advice to be giving everybody in general."
Bryan expresses discomfort and disagreement with their viewpoints, advocating instead for relationships built on mutual respect and open communication.
6. Light-Hearted Anecdotes and Banter
Throughout the episode, Bryan and Chrissy engage in playful banter, reminiscing about past experiences in radio and sharing humorous takes on everyday situations. This segments provides a relaxed and relatable atmosphere typical of the podcast's style.
[05:26] Rachel: "The Office is really not a bad representation of actual offices."
[34:21] Brooklyn: "So when I just did that, it hurt. I'm still doing it, but it's gonna get better."
7. Critical Reflection and Conclusion
The episode concludes with Bryan reflecting on the problematic nature of the relationship advice offered by guests, reiterating the importance of respect and healthy communication in relationships.
[62:15] Rachel: "Thank you to the listener who sent us Paulie."
[64:02] Rachel: "Yes."
Bryan and Chrissy preview upcoming content, including their first miniseries, and encourage listeners to engage with them on various platforms.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
Conclusion
"You're On Half-Contact!" exemplifies The Commercial Break’s blend of humor and candid conversation. While the hosts navigate through personal anecdotes and societal issues, they maintain a balance between entertainment and insightful commentary. The episode particularly stands out for its critical examination of dubious relationship advice, reinforcing the podcast's commitment to delivering both laughs and meaningful discussions.
Connect with The Commercial Break
The Commercial Break airs Tuesday through Friday, offering a chaotic and unpolished charm that serves as a comedic escape from everyday life.