Podcast
The Dad Edge Podcast
Hosted by Larry Hagner · EN
The Dad Edge Podcast is a movement. It is a strong community of Fathers who all share a set of values.
Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge, breaks down common challenges of fatherhood, making them easy to understand and overcome. Tackling the world of Fatherhood can be a daunting task when we try to do it alone.
The mission of The Dad Edge Podcast is to help you become the best, strongest, and happiest version of yourself so that you can help guide your kids to the best version of themselves. Simple as that.
Everything you need and all of our resources can be found at thedadedge.com/podcast
71episodes
Episodes
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Why Boundaries Are the Only Way Kids Ever Have True Freedom featuring Jon Fogel
1w ago00:49:12Tap to summarizeJon Fogel is a parenting expert, pastor, published author, and PhD candidate who runs Whole Parent and Whole Parent Academy, a resource built around the psychology of parenting and discipline. He is the author of the bestselling book Punishment Free Parenting and a brand new children's book, Set My Feelings Free, which sold out nationwide before its second printing. He is a husband, father of four kids ranging from 18 months to nine years old, and somehow found time to install a toilet while his wife was in labor. Jon has been a guest on The Dad Edge podcast twice before, and every single time he shows up, he leaves the room differently than he found it. This episode is a live Q&A inside the Alliance, and the questions the guys brought were real. Getting a spouse on the same page. The pendulum swing between authoritarian and checked-out. A five-year-old who looks you dead in the eye before he does the wrong thing on purpose. And the hard one: what happens when your son won't respond to you the way he responds to his mom. Jon's framework is grounded in brain science and developmental psychology, and the thing that keeps hitting you as you listen is how much of what we were taught about discipline actually works against us. The reason kids shut down when we raise our voices is the same reason our partners shut down when we raise our voices. The reason kids push boundaries is not defiance. It's development. The reason your son runs to mom and not to you is not a reflection of your worth as a father. It's evolution. If you're a dad who's been doing the work but still feels like something is off in how your kids or your partner respond to you, this episode is going to give you clarity in places you didn't expect to find it. Timeline Summary [1:01] Host introduces Jon Fogel for his third appearance, covering his role as a parenting expert, author, PhD candidate, and founder of Whole Parent Academy [2:05] Jon describes his book Punishment Free Parenting, its bestseller status, and explains that 99% of the book is about what to do instead of punishing [3:42] Jon's newest children's book Set My Feelings Free is sold out nationwide, with a second printing arriving May 20th [4:02] First question from Rich: how to get a spouse on the same page when parenting backgrounds and styles are very different [5:29] Jon explains why you should never try to correct a partner's parenting in the moment, and why the same brain science that applies to kids applies to adults [8:11] Jon introduces the H.E.A.R. framework from Harvard for conflict resolution: Hedge, Emphasize agreement, Acknowledge perspective, Reframe to the positive [10:55] Jon walks through each step of H.E.A.R. practically, showing how removing defensiveness creates space for the other person to move without feeling wrong [14:07] Jon adds a bonus tactic: developing a safe word with your partner as a mutual tap-out when someone is getting too heated to parent effectively [17:56] Second question from Chris: the pendulum swing between strict and disengaged, and why so many parents default to one or the other [19:16] Jon reframes the boundary concept using the backyard fence metaphor: boundaries are not restrictions, they are the only structure that gives a child real freedom [27:17] Third question: a five-year-old who deliberately pushes boundaries and throws food. Jon explains the difference between punishments, natural consequences, and logical consequences [30:50] Jon explains that boundary-pushing at five is a developmental need, not defiance, and offers a practical redirection strategy using a popcorn bowl at dinner [35:15] Anonymous question: son responds to mom and shuts down with dad. Jon addresses attachment hierarchy, enmeshment concerns, and why parents should largely stop parenting together [40:10] Jon explains the science of attachment hierarchy and how kids are hardwired to default to one parent under threat. He clarifies that being second in the hierarchy does not mean you are failing [44:46] Jon shares resources: Punishment Free Parenting, the children's book Set My Feelings Free, The Whole Parent Podcast, and an in-person event in Chicago on May 21st Five Key Takeaways The worst time to correct your partner's parenting is in the moment it's happening. The same science that tells us not to discipline a dysregulated child applies directly to adults. Wait for calm, get curious about the trigger, and then use the H.E.A.R. framework to address it without creating more defensiveness than you started with. Boundaries are not restrictions. They are the structure that gives your child real freedom. A kid without clear boundaries does not feel free. They feel unsafe. The backyard fence metaphor Jon uses is worth sitting with: your job is to build the fence in the right place, not to police what happens inside it. A five-year-old who looks you in the eye before doing something he knows you don't want is not being defiant. He is developing. At that age, differentiation is a biological need, and the act of doing something dad doesn't want is how he practices becoming his own person. Understanding that changes how you respond. If your son responds better to his mom than to you, that is not an indictment of who you are as a father. Attachment hierarchy is hardwired and evolutionary. The solution is not to compete with mom in the room. It is to build a relationship with your son when she is not there. Kids who do not have their need for autonomy met will meet that need in ways you will not like. Whether it is food at the dinner table, video games at 13, or behavior that seems to come out of nowhere, the question worth asking is: where else in his day does he get to make his own choices? Links & Resources Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel — https://a.co/d/0hdOkJZl Set My Feelings Free (children's book) — second printing available May 20th In-person Chicago event with Jon Fogel and Eli Harwood — May 21st, downtown Chicago How to Deal With Your Shirt So Your Kids Don't Have to by Eli Harwood The Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/soulmates The Men's Forge — http://themensforge.com/ Shownotes: http://thedadedge.com/1485 Closing The question about attachment hierarchy near the end of this one is going to stay with me for a while. The image of your kid running toward one parent without thinking, faster than conscious thought, because their brain is trying to survive a threat — and knowing that which parent they run to has nothing to do with how hard you've worked or how much you love them — that's both humbling and freeing at the same time. Jon said it plainly: being in second place means you're in first place when the other person isn't there. Do the work. Show up. Take the alone time with your kids and build what only you can build with them. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →The Truth About Burnout & How to Eliminate the Root of it featuring Dr. Georgine Nanos
1w ago00:58:07Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with Dr. Georgine Nanos — board certified family physician, founder of Kind Health Group and Kind TMS, and the first clinician in the world to successfully condense the 40-day TMS protocol into a single day. TMS stands for transcranial magnetic stimulation. It's been FDA approved since 2008, has no long-term side effects, and uses magnetic field energy to create new synaptic pathways in the part of the brain where anxiety, depression, and PTSD get locked into negative stress loops. The Stanford trial that condensed it from 40 days to five days got a 90% response rate. Dr. Nanos condensed it further — to a single 12-hour day — and got the same results. But this is not just a clinical episode. We talk about why men specifically have such a hard time reaching out, why burnout is a perfectly valid reason to pursue this, why the cop from the Bay Area who couldn't be present for his kids started playing drums again a month after treatment, and why the family almost always sees the improvement before the patient does. Dr. Nanos also gets personal — she has mild anxiety and insomnia, was skeptical when she first tried TMS on herself, and has now done it multiple times since. Her kids describe her as chill. She credits the machine. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:03] What TMS is — transcranial magnetic stimulation, FDA approved for 18 years, not electric shock therapy [2:38] How negative stress loops form in the brain — and how TMS creates new synaptic pathways around them [5:41] The difference between TMS and ECT — why TMS was born and why ECT is the last resort [6:59] Why TMS hasn't gone mainstream — 40 days, insurance barriers, and older devices that were uncomfortable [8:11] Stanford condenses it to five days and gets a 90% response rate — then Dr. Nanos condenses it to one [10:05] The single-day protocol study — 34 patients, same results as Stanford, now being studied at UCLA and Harvard [12:16] Response rate vs. remission — what the clinical measurements actually mean [14:47] Introducing Dr. Nanos — Kind Health Group, Kind TMS, and refusing to stay inside the lines of traditional medicine [17:15] What the experience actually feels like — comfortable table, dim lights, binaural beats, light tapping on the skull [24:00] Why medication is only 40-50% effective for depression — and why TMS is a more targeted approach [28:01] Men and mental health — the walk of shame, the fear of looking broken, and why burnout is a valid reason to come in [30:44] High-functioning people at their last straw — midlife, peak career, aging parents, hormonal shifts, and the perfect storm [31:40] What patients feel after the 12-hour day — tired, then slow incremental change, sleep improves first [33:41] The Marine Corps veteran who felt agitated around his kids — and what changed after TMS [35:58] TMS is scaffolding, not a silver bullet — you still have to do the climbing [39:22] Who is a candidate — ages ten into their 90s, autism spectrum, teens, veterans, first responders [43:25] The cop from the Bay Area — Iraq War veteran, suicide attempt in his past, couldn't be present for his kids [45:23] He got the band back together — and his wife saw the change before he did [47:27] What happens when patients relapse — booster sessions, obsessive follow up, and a year of ongoing care [49:07] Insurance only covers the 40-day protocol — and only after failing 3-4 medications [51:06] The price point — $12,000 for the full year of care including financing options and veteran programs [54:07] Dr. Nanos did TMS on herself — skeptical at first, now does booster sessions every 6-7 months Five Key Takeaways TMS is not electric shock therapy. It is safe, FDA approved, has no long-term side effects, and has been around for 40 years. Most men have simply never heard of it. You do not have to be in a mental health crisis to benefit from TMS. High-functioning men who feel flat, burned out, or not quite like themselves are exactly who this was designed for. Burnout is a brain state, not a character flaw. The negative stress loops that build up over years of pressure, peak career, and family demands can be addressed — and the first thing that tends to improve is sleep. TMS is scaffolding, not a silver bullet. It gives you the pathways to climb out of the hole. But you still have to do the work — therapy, exercise, and the lifestyle habits that keep the pathways open. The people around you will see the change before you do. The cop's wife saw his improvement first. Dr. Nanos's kids noticed before she did. Your family is watching — and they want their dad back. Links & Resources Dad Edge Business Boardroom — June 1st cohort, applications open through May 31st: http://thedadedge.com/boardroom Kind TMS website: https://kindtms.com Kind Health Group: https://kindhealthgroup.com Follow Dr. Nanos on Instagram: @doctorgeogienos Kind TMS on Instagram: @kindtms Call Kind TMS directly: (760) 701-5463 Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1482): https://thedadedge.com/1482 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you do not have to keep white-knuckling it through life. The cop from the Bay Area was drowning in silence — a past suicide attempt, a demanding job, young kids, aging parents, and nowhere to put any of it. One month after treatment, he's playing drums again. His wife sees it. His kids feel it. That is what is possible when a man stops waiting until it gets bad enough and starts asking what getting better actually looks like. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →Unconditional Love Does Not Mean Unconditional Relationships featuring Lee Benson
2w ago01:03:20Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with Lee Benson — entrepreneur, founder of eight companies, former CEO of Abel Aerospace (which he grew from 2 to 500 employees serving customers in 60 countries before a nine-figure exit in 2016), and now CEO of Dinner Table, a free global community of over 40,000 parents from 67 countries built around one idea: teaching families how to intentionally create value together. Lee's story starts where most don't — kicked out of his house at 18 with his clothes in paper grocery bags, a car he bought himself, a job cooking at Coco's, and a credit card debt his parents had secretly run up in his name. He went from negative zero to building one of the most successful aerospace companies in the country. And he has spent the last decade trying to figure out how to give every family — especially the ones starting from nothing — the framework that changes everything. We get into the monthly family meeting, what it actually covers, and why giving every member of the family — including the six-year-old — a job and a line item in the budget changes behavior almost instantly. We talk about finding your kids' value creation superpowers, what it means to show up with someone's potential instead of their performance, and why Lee's business partner Jack Welch was one of only two people in his entire life who ever made him feel that way. And Lee drops one of the most clarifying lines this show has ever heard: I believe in unconditional love. I do not believe in unconditional relationships. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:03] Kicked out at 18 — paper bags on the patio, locks changed, one night in a Chevy Blazer [2:19] The credit cards his parents ran up in his name — and why he paid them off instead of turning them in [3:46] Generational dysfunction, siblings lost in it, and why unconditional love does not mean unconditional relationships [5:17] Why being kicked out may have been the best thing that ever happened to him [8:11] Building a chosen family — 40-plus years later, one of his "kids" is staying at his house with his own family [10:06] The rules of engagement — how Lee maintains relationships with difficult family members without enabling them [15:52] Introducing Lee — Abel Aerospace, nine-figure exit, and now CEO of Dinner Table [17:18] The monthly family meeting — family goals, everybody's job, budget review, and what it means to be a leader in the family [20:17] Giving the six-year-old a line item in the budget — and what happened when the kids saw how much Dutch Brothers was costing [21:34] If there's money left over, the kids decide where it goes — including Yellowstone with no technology for a week [22:14] The one-on-one meeting with each kid — how would you like to create value in the world? [25:31] Why Lee calls it a huddle instead of a meeting — and how language changes everything [27:50] The nine-year-old who looked up and said "I have a job for the family" — with pride [28:52] The two people in Lee's entire life who showed up with his potential — and why that is so rare [30:20] Larry's version — the mentor who always referenced Larry 1.0 vs. Larry 2.0 behavior [33:01] How to ask a ten-year-old about value creation without losing them — and what to do with "I like video games" [39:16] Three types of struggle — normal and healthy, struggle that needs support, and struggle to avoid entirely [48:32] The mom whose three boys cook dinner six nights a week — and why that one job changed everything for her [51:26] The difference between adding value and creating value — and why that distinction matters for your kids [56:06] What we say vs. what we model — and why cutting yourself down in front of your kids cancels every "you can be anything" you've ever said Five Key Takeaways I believe in unconditional love. I do not believe in unconditional relationships. Love without limits does not mean relationships without rules of engagement — and confusing the two enables the very behavior you're trying to change. The monthly family meeting changes behavior almost instantly. When kids have a job for the family, a line item in the budget, and a seat at the table — they stop needing to be told ten times. They're already in. Show up with your kid's potential, not their current performance. The two people Lee remembers most weren't impressed by his resume. They saw what he could become. That's the standard. What you say and what you model are two completely different messages. If you tell your kids they can be anything and then cut yourself down in front of them, they are listening to your actions — not your words. Value creation is a family sport. The earlier you start the conversation — what are your interests, how do you want to show up in the world, what does it mean to be a leader in this family — the more momentum your kids build on their own before they leave home. Links & Resources Dad Edge Business Boardroom — June 1st cohort, applications open May 21–31: http://thedadedge.com/boardroom Value Creation Family by Lee Benson: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Creation-Family-Playbook-Setting/dp/1636805981 Dinner Table community (free, 40,000+ parents, 67 countries): https://dinnertable.com Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1480): https://thedadedge.com/1480 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you can start from anywhere and go everywhere — but only if your belief system allows it. Lee Benson started from negative zero. No father. A toxic home. Credit card debt in his name before he ever had a job. And he built something extraordinary — not because he had a blueprint, but because he believed a different future was possible and did the work to build it. Now he's building that blueprint for everyone else. One family meeting at a time. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →The Power of Leading With Love, Being Present & Saying Sorry featuring Brandon Webb
2w ago01:05:04Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Brandon Webb — Navy SEAL, former sniper instructor, and author of the brand new parenting book Puddle Jumpers — joins a live Dad Edge Alliance Q&A to answer real questions from real dads. No filters, no talking points. Just a man who has raised three extraordinary kids through divorce, business failure, and years of hard-won parenting lessons, going deep on the questions most dads are quietly carrying. The questions cover everything — what to tell your younger self as a new dad, how to act vs. wait when stakes are high, how to build confidence and resilience in your kids without SEAL-level pressure, how to get a reluctant 12-year-old to open up, what ordinary magic looks like in everyday parenting, and how to co-parent well when your ex has moved on and moved away. Brandon's philosophy is simple, practical, and backed by research: get to the why before you drop the hammer, let your kids do small hard things on their own, teach them to use their voice rather than your own, and remember that your voice will become their inner voice. He also drops one of the most memorable parenting wins on the show — a handwritten note from his 22-year-old daughter that he read four or five times and has carried ever since. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge Alliance Q&A — and why this is what happens inside the Alliance every month [3:33] How Puddle Jumpers came to be — three kids, a divorce, a business failure, and strangers asking Brandon for advice [6:12] The mud puddle that gave the book its name — and the kind of dad Brandon decided to be in that moment [8:29] Q1: What would you tell your younger self as a new father? [9:22] Lead with love, be present, and choose quality over quantity — especially when you don't have much time [11:16] Say sorry. Own your mistakes in front of your kids. They're watching conflict resolution in real time. [13:36] Q2: How do you decide when to act vs. wait when stakes are high and you don't have full clarity? [14:10] Get to the why of the behavior before you punish — the checklist Brandon uses from his SEAL days [16:11] The teacher who publicly humiliated his son — and why Brandon and his ex took their son's side and pulled him out [19:43] Getting to the core driver of the behavior before you act is the most important move a parent can make [23:29] Q3: How do you build resilience and confidence in kids without SEAL-level pressure? [24:36] Positive psychology from the sniper course — paint the picture of what to do, not what to stop doing [25:46] Your voice becomes their inner voice — choose what you want living in their head [27:00] Ordinary magic — letting kids do small tasks alone is how confidence gets built over time [27:54] The Portland airport and the soccer team selfies — what happens when you make your kid ask for himself [30:11] Q4: My 12-year-old is reluctant to open up — how do I get him to talk? [31:01] Never sit them down at the kitchen table — do it in the car, on a walk, shooting hoops [32:13] Ask ten times if you need to. Peel the layers back slowly and never make it confrontational. [33:01] Ask better questions — Brandon has a full reference guide in the back of Puddle Jumpers [45:00] Q5: How do you navigate divorce and still raise great kids? [45:21] The psychologist who changed everything — happy mom, happy kids. Default to that when you're triggered. [48:28] Agree up front to put the kids first and police your own family from choosing sides [57:15] Get a PhD-level psychologist to help — not just a counselor. It's the best money Brandon ever spent. [1:00:40] Lead by example, speak positively about your ex, and trust that your kids are watching everything Five Key Takeaways Get to the why before you punish. The behavior is a symptom — and if you react to the symptom without understanding the cause, you can push your kid away in ways that take years to repair. Your voice becomes their inner voice. Think about how you want to be heard inside your child's head ten years from now. That is the standard your daily words have to meet. Ordinary magic is how confidence is built. Letting your kids tie their own shoes, order their own food, and ask for their own autograph — these tiny moments accumulate into a kid who believes they can handle the world. Never have the hard conversation sitting down face to face. Do it in the car. On a walk. Shooting hoops. Kids open up when their body is moving and the pressure is off. If the co-parenting relationship is not adversarial, you're already ahead of the curve. Protect that at all costs. Police your own family. Speak positively about your ex. Your kids are watching you model how adults handle hard things. Links & Resources Dad Edge Alliance — join now and get a free signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood plus two bonus courses: https://thedadedge.com/join Car Questions — Connect With Your Kids in the Car: https://thedadedge.com/car-questions-connect-with-your-kids-in-the-car/ Puddle Jumpers by Brandon Webb: https://www.amazon.com/Puddle-Jumpers-Simple-Proven-Confident/dp/B0FWZZKJN6 Brandon Webb's website: https://brandontylerwebb.com Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1481): https://thedadedge.com/1481 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: your kids are paying attention to everything — especially when you think they're not. Brandon Webb raised three extraordinary kids through divorce, business failure, deployments, and more than a few mistakes. And the letter his daughter left him before he came to New York — the one he read four or five times and still carries — is proof that the work is worth it. Be present. Get to the why. Let them do hard things on their own. And speak the words you want living inside their heads. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →Why Traditional Therapy Fails Men and What Actually Works Instead featuring Vince Benevento
2w ago00:54:09Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with Vince Benevento — licensed counselor, founder of Causeway Collaborative, author of Boys Will Be Men: Eight Lessons for the Lost American Male, and a man who has worked with over 2,000 young men between the ages of 14 and 30 over the past 15 years. But before we get into any of that, Vince opens up about the most formative experience of his life. Last July 4th weekend, his son Leo went from a rash on his wrist to 15 days in the ER, a diagnosis of aplastic anemia, a bone marrow transplant, a fungal infection that ate through his lung and ribs and attacked his spine, three emergency surgeries, a broken back, a seven-vertebrae spinal fusion, and 150 total days in the hospital. A doctor pulled Vince aside and told him to prepare for the fact that his son was not going to make it. Leo just got cleared to go back to school. Vince also opens up about his own story — a closeted gay father whose secret life exploded when Vince was a senior in high school, a substance use disorder from 17 to 22, two hospitalizations, a mood disorder diagnosis, getting sober, leaving college, and building the blueprint for Causeway — his own recovery blueprint — before he even knew it would become a business. This one covers why traditional therapy fails young men, what actually works instead, what it means to find your wild, and what the lost American male most needs right now. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:15] Leo's story begins — a rash on his wrist, a pediatrician appointment, and an ambulance to Yale [3:14] Aplastic anemia, a bone marrow transplant, and a one-in-a-million perfect donor match [5:19] The fungal infection that changed everything — lung, ribs, spine, three emergency surgeries, broken back [6:39] The doctor pulls Vince aside — prepare yourself. Your son may not come out of this. [8:09] How Vince and Gina navigated 150 days in the hospital — and why he's honest that they didn't do it perfectly [11:03] Their different vantage points — Vince shrinking Leo's world to protect him, Gina knowing his spirit needed connection [16:32] Vince's own mental health history — hospitalized at 19, mood disorder diagnosis, sober at 22 [17:08] The 6 to 7am ritual — one hour alone every morning at the Ronald McDonald House to lift and pray before facing the day [20:10] Introducing Vince — Causeway Collaborative, Boys Will Be Men, and 15 years working with over 2,000 young men [21:22] Vince's origin story — a father's secret life exploding senior year, substance use disorder, leaving college, and building the blueprint that became his business [30:17] Why traditional therapy fails men — especially young men — and what Causeway does differently [31:31] The deficit-driven medical model vs. a strength-based, goal-driven, action-focused framework [32:57] Less talk, more do — teaching a man to fish instead of processing open-ended about his feelings [37:25] Name it to tame it — chapter two and the struggle of accepting a diagnosis that restricts what you want to do [39:00] Find your wild — chapter four and what it means to resurrect the part of yourself that died between 22 and 38 [40:55] Rolling his addictive tendencies into workaholism — and his wife's ultimatum that changed everything [41:30] Having coffee with guys, building friendships, and slowly filling back up what the years had hollowed out [45:28] Jimmy — sober in high school, construction job, Covid isolation, breeding exotic reptiles, and coming back to life [48:28] Men need a battle to fight, a beauty to love, and an adventure to be had — and when those are gone, something dies [49:08] What Vince hopes every young man takes from his book — you're messy, I'm messy, and it's going to be all right Five Key Takeaways Traditional therapy fails most young men because it asks them to do something they're developmentally not wired for yet — express and process emotions openly. What works is action, structure, goal-setting, and doing things alongside someone until they can do it alone. You can't outrun what you haven't dealt with. Vince rolled his substance use into workaholism, his workaholism into his marriage, and it took his wife's ultimatum to make him stop and look at what was missing. Finding your wild is not optional — it is maintenance. The soul that gets buried under work, kids, and obligation doesn't disappear. It just stops showing up everywhere else. You have to nourish it on purpose. Men need a battle to fight, a beauty to love, and an adventure to be had. When Jimmy found his thing — breeding exotic reptiles — he found his reason to stay sober, his entrepreneurial spirit, and his sense of self. The specifics don't matter. The having of something does. Your mess becomes your message. Vince spent decades helping young men without them knowing anything about his own story. The book exists because he finally believed the mess was worth sharing — and it gives other men permission to share theirs. Links & Resources Dad Edge Business Boardroom: http://thedadedge.com/boardroom Boys Will Be Men by Vince Benevento: https://www.amazon.com/Boys-Will-Be-Men-American/dp/1959170317 Causeway Collaborative: https://causewaycollaborative.com Follow Vince on Instagram: @vince_benevento_lpc Wild at Heart by John Eldredge: https://www.amazon.com/dp/078522663X?ref=clp_hp_h_pc Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1479): https://thedadedge.com/1479 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: God is still doing miracles — and Leo Benevento is one of them. But the other message is just as important. You are messy. Vince is messy. Every man on this show who has ever done hard things and built something real out of the rubble is messy. And your mess is not disqualifying — it is exactly the thing that qualifies you to help the next person who's sitting in the same pile. Find your wild. Do the work. And give some young man in your life the same gift someone gave you. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →He Lost His 14 Year Old Son to Suicide and Turned the Pain Into a Mission That Is Saving Lives featuring Jason Reid
3w ago01:02:49Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with Jason Reid — founder of Tell My Story Foundation, producer of the documentary films Tell My Story, What I Wish My Parents Knew, and Shift, author of seven books, Iron Man athlete, and a father who lost his 14-year-old son Ryan to suicide in 2018 while on vacation with his wife. Jason was back for the second time on Dad Edge, and this conversation went somewhere neither of us expected. We open with AI — why the easy button is robbing kids of the growth that comes from struggle, and why an AI chatbot girlfriend who only says nice things is the most dangerous mental health threat facing kids right now. We get into the warning signs parents miss, why the most at-risk kids often look like the quarterback or the cheerleader, and the clouds analogy that reframes everything about how you try to help a struggling kid. Jason is direct: stop trying to fix it. Ask about the clouds. Listen longer. And when they're ready to talk, they'll talk on their terms — almost always side by side, never face to face. We also get into one of the most unconventional but practical parenting conversations this show has ever had: how to teach your kids to fight back with their words. Not their fists. Their words. It's called verbal self-defense — and it may be the most underrated gift a father can give his kid. And then there's Shift — Jason's newest documentary about kids who protect their mental health by having a passion that's entirely their own. The message is simple and urgent: your kid needs an anchor. Help them find it before they need it most. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:04] Why AI is the new mental health boogeyman — and why the chatbot girlfriend is the most dangerous thing on a kid's phone right now [4:15] You rob yourself of growth when you take the easy path — Jason's songwriting process and why the journey is the whole point [7:34] AI will make you smarter or dumber — it's entirely about how you use it [11:14] Introducing Jason Reid — founder of Tell My Story Foundation, back for the second time on Dad Edge [12:02] What happened to Ryan — a 14-year-old son lost to suicide in 2018 while Jason and his wife were on vacation [15:58] The choice Jason made — stay married, stay working, stay focused, and turn the pain into purpose [16:20] Tell My Story on Amazon Prime, What I Wish My Parents Knew in schools, and Shift — three films born from one loss [18:31] The warning signs parents miss — and why stopping the shower is often the first one to look for [19:53] The most at-risk kids look like the quarterback and the cheerleader — not the dark quiet kid in the corner [20:59] The clouds analogy — why telling your kid the sky is blue makes them stop talking [21:51] Ask about the clouds. Ask how they look, how they feel, whether they come and go. Don't give advice first. [23:30] Don't rush to your kid tonight and say "we need to talk about your mental health" — they will shut you out [24:14] Kids talk on their terms — when it's inconvenient for you, side by side, never face to face [26:40] Extend the talk — take the long way home, go for ice cream, keep moving so they keep talking [30:55] Larry's experience being bullied — and what he battles as a dad when his kid faces the same thing [32:28] Jason's counter-cultural advice: a bully will continue until your kid punches back — verbally or physically [34:49] Teach your kids verbal self-defense — find the bully's insecurity and make it funny in front of everyone [37:04] Brad Williams the dwarf comedian — and the greatest gift his dad gave him [40:21] Coach them on their comeback lines before it happens again — because it will happen again [45:30] Why kids today are under more pressure than any generation before — war, climate change, college costs, social media [50:45] Shift — what the film is about and why every kid needs a passion that has nothing to do with school or friends [53:20] Jason's Iron Man races — came in last every time and didn't care, because it was his thing [54:14] What did you love doing as a kid that you stopped? — and why that question could change everything [57:14] Larry and his 18-year-old learning guitar together — and why struggling alongside your kid is the whole point Five Key Takeaways An AI chatbot that only says nice things to your kid is not a friend — it's a dangerous distortion of reality. The real world is going to push back, and kids raised on pure affirmation won't be ready for it. Don't tell a struggling kid the sky is blue. Ask them about the clouds. Ask how they look, how they feel, whether they come and go. You fix things in this space by listening, not advising. Kids will talk on their terms — side by side, in the car, on a walk, when it's inconvenient for you. When they start talking, extend the moment. Don't race home. Teach your kids verbal self-defense. A bully who gets laughed at stops. A bully whose insecurity gets named in front of everyone goes finds a different target. This is a skill you can practice at home. Every kid needs an anchor — a passion that's entirely theirs, not school, not friends, not a screen. Help them find it before the dark season hits, because the kids who have it are the ones who make it through. Links & Resources Tell My Story Foundation: https://www.tellmystory.org/ Tell My Story documentary on Amazon Prime: Search "Tell My Story" on Amazon Prime Shift documentary — available through schools: https://tellmystory.org Songs for the Drive Home album: Available on Spotify and Apple Music — search "Songs for the Drive Home" Tell My Story conversation card deck: Available at https://www.tellmystory.org/cardgame Jason Reid's previous Dad Edge episode (June 2023): https://thedadedge.com Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1478): https://thedadedge.com/1478 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: your kid needs an anchor — and they need you to help them find it before they need it most. Jason Reid lost his son Ryan in 2018. He didn't see it coming. And he spent the next seven years turning that loss into the most important work of his life — so other parents don't have to stand where he stood. Ask about the clouds. Take the long way home. Teach them to fight back with words. And help them find their thing. Because the kids who have something to wake up for are the ones who make it through. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →How to Show Up for Your Kid When the Environment Around Him Is Toxic
3w ago00:25:37Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Larry and Uncle Joe tackle one of the most relatable questions any sports dad has ever asked — what do you do when the environment your kid is playing in is toxic, and it's breaking his spirit? The question comes from Mike — a dad of two boys whose 11-year-old has recently had his love for baseball crushed by the culture of travel sports. The kid is now telling himself he's not good enough and that quitting is the answer. Mike is doing the work, modeling emotional regulation at home, and feeling like an imposter because none of it seems to be helping. Larry shares his own story of pushing his son too hard in wrestling, learning to let him lead, and watching him play football for ten years before deciding on his own to walk away. Joe drops an ancient Chinese archery proverb that reframes the entire conversation — and explains why the need to win literally drains a kid of every skill he has. Alliance member Calvin adds a coach's perspective on getting to the root of what's really going on with your son. This is a short, punchy, deeply practical episode that every sports dad needs to hear — especially if you've ever wondered whether the investment of time and money in travel sports is actually worth it. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] Mike's question: my 11-year-old's spirit is being broken by travel baseball's toxic culture — what do I do? [3:47] Larry's wrestling story — getting excited about a scholarship, pushing too hard, and learning to follow his son's lead [6:26] Dr. John Delany's take: travel sports is ruining the dinner table of the American family [7:37] The stats — only 1.5% of kids who play youth sports will play in college [9:03] How kids start attaching their identity to their performance — and why that's dangerous [11:47] Whatever you start, you finish — the Hagner family rule and why it matters [12:32] The hockey coach who got kicked out of games three times — and the son who never played hockey again [13:41] 82% of kids quit a sport because of the coach — not the sport itself [15:33] Joe's ancient Chinese archery proverb — when an archer shoots for nothing, he has all of his skill [16:39] Why travel ball brings out the worst in parents — the lottery mindset and the toxicity that follows [17:12] If you play for somebody else's approval, you play half the game you would have played [17:45] Be the anti-venom — how to show up as the most positive presence in the stands [20:25] Calvin's perspective — get down to his level, ask the real questions, and watch how he shows up at practice [22:14] Mike's takeaway — finish the season, support his decision, and help him find his football whatever that looks like Five Key Takeaways Only 1.5% of kids who play youth sports will play in college. Before you invest five figures a year in travel sports, ask yourself who this is really for — your kid or you. When a child's identity gets attached to their performance, and the environment around them is relentless and critical, they don't just quit the sport — they start believing they aren't good enough at life. Whatever you start, you finish. Let your kid know you support whatever they decide when the season is done — but the commitment they made to the team matters and they're going to honor it. The need to win drains a player of every skill they have. When a kid stops playing for the love of it and starts playing for approval, they play half the game they're capable of. You can't insulate your kids from toxic environments — but you can be the anti-venom. Be the most positive person in those stands, speak life into every kid, and let your son see what that looks like. Links & Resources Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/alliance Dad Edge Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/boardroom Dad Edge Youth Sports Resources: https://thedadedge.com/tag/youth-sports/ Dad Edge Youth Athletics Resources: https://thedadedge.com/tag/youth-athletics/ Using Sports to Strengthen Father-Child Bonds: https://thedadedge.com/using-sports-to-strengthen-father-child-bonds-life-lessons Coaching Kids: https://thedadedge.com/coaching-kids/ Greg Olsen Episode — Marriage Under Pressure: https://thedadedge.com/marriage-under-pressure-weathering-lifes-hardest-storms-featuring-greg-olsen/ How to Build a Non-Anxious Life by Dr. John Delony: Available on Amazon Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1477): https://thedadedge.com/1477 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: the goal of youth sports was never the scholarship — it was the lesson. The kids who look back and love what sports gave them aren't the ones who made it to college or the pros. They're the ones who had a coach who believed in them, a parent who cheered for effort instead of outcomes, and a teammate who made them laugh on the bench eating Big League Chew. Be the anti-venom. Finish the season. And let your kid find their football. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →Surviving the Unsurvivable and Finding God in the Rubble featuring Pierre Mousseau
3w ago01:02:56Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with Pierre Mousseau — entrepreneur, keynote speaker, and author of From the Ashes: A Father's Journey Through Grief, Grace, and Faith. This is one of the most extraordinary, raw, and spiritually powerful conversations this show has ever had. Pierre grew up with a severely alcoholic and mentally abusive father, was molested at 11, slept on the streets at 17, and was kicked out of his home at 19. He built himself into an entrepreneur, a husband, and a father. And then his son Parker — sweet, joyful, endlessly loving Parker — was taken from him at 21 years old after a catastrophic bowel emergency, five surgeries, and seven weeks in the ICU. Pierre made the decision to remove him from life support. Five months later, with his company collapsing and the grief unbearable, Pierre got into his car at full speed aimed at a maple tree. He should have died that day. He didn't. What follows is one of the most extraordinary stories of faith, forgiveness, and divine intervention you will ever hear — from the church he walked into while still hating God, to the deacon whose homily that Sunday was about losing a child, to the moment in the shower when something held him and everything changed. This episode will stop you in your tracks. And it will remind you to hug your kids today. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] Pierre's childhood — alcoholic and abusive father, bullied at school, Spider-Man comics as his only escape [5:33] Moving in with a drug-addicted uncle at 17, sleeping on the streets, and nobody noticing he was gone [7:44] Being molested at 11 — and the family that never did anything about it [8:31] Driving four hours to see his dying father determined to tell him everything — and what actually happened instead [10:41] Saying "I forgive you" at his father's bedside — and still carrying the hatred for years after [15:51] Introducing Pierre — entrepreneur, speaker, and author of From the Ashes [17:30] Who Parker was — how he loved, what made him extraordinary, and the boy who still believed in Santa Claus at 14 [21:30] The phone call from the hospital — and the doctor who said "I don't know what happened but his bowel is pink" [23:33] Seven weeks in the ICU, ICU delirium, and the decision Pierre had to make [25:39] "I felt like I murdered my child" — the guilt that followed Pierre for years [32:18] The hardest decision he has ever made — and why he couldn't keep Parker alive for himself [38:02] Five months after Parker's death, the company collapsed — and on a Saturday morning Pierre got in his car to end his life [39:09] Heading for a maple tree at full speed — and what stopped him [40:44] Eleven months of hating God — and the Sunday morning he suddenly drove to church [41:21] Walking into mass on the homily about losing a child — and sobbing until the woman beside him put her hand on his shoulder [43:52] Meeting Deacon Curtis, the grief retreat, Parker's orange tag, and the text that said "I think Parker is trying to tell you something" [47:30] In the shower in March 2025 — the purple light, the arms that held him, and the love that changed everything [51:14] Strength is not pushing through — strength is vulnerability, asking for help, and being willing to say "this sucks" [52:38] The keynote at the convent and the woman with a cane who walked up at the end without one [56:47] The man in the steam room bashing his kids — and what Pierre said that silenced the room Five Key Takeaways Forgiveness is not a feeling — it's a decision you make before the feeling follows. Pierre said the words at his father's bedside before he was ready. The release came years later. Grief and guilt will destroy you if you carry them alone. The bravest thing Pierre did wasn't surviving the worst moments — it was finally saying "I need help" and meaning it. Strength is not pushing through. Strength is vulnerability. Strength is allowing yourself to cry, to feel, to say this is hard, and to ask for another man to come alongside you. You never know when the moments will be gone. Cherish the ordinary ones — the arcade nights, the couch cuddles, the conversations that start after midnight. Parker would tell you that. God meets you in your most broken moment — not when you've cleaned yourself up. Pierre was still hating God when he walked through that church door. It didn't matter. Links & Resources Dad Edge Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/boardroom From the Ashes by Pierre Mousseau: Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christian Books, and Walmart Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1476): https://thedadedge.com/1476 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: hug your kids today. Not tomorrow. Today. Pierre Mousseau lost the most loving person he had ever known. And what he has done with that loss — the book, the keynotes, the moment in the steam room, the woman who walked without her cane — is one of the most beautiful things we have ever witnessed on this show. Don't let another day go by without telling the people who matter most that you love them. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →Going to the Doctor Is Not Weakness (Why Proactive Health Is an Act of Leadership) featuring Dr. Lenny Kaufman
4w ago00:55:00Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with Dr. Leonard Kaufman — board certified urologist and men's health physician with 25 years of experience practicing in South Florida. Dr. Kaufman specializes in urology, hormonal health, sexual health, and preventative men's health care, and he brings a level of warmth, honesty, and clinical depth to this conversation that you won't find anywhere else. We cover a lot of ground — from why reactive health care is costing men years of quality life, to what erectile dysfunction is really telling you about your cardiovascular health, to the TRT conversation every man in his 30s and 40s needs to hear before he walks into one of those clinics and shuts off his own fertility without knowing it. But this is not just a clinical episode. Dr. Kaufman is 33 years married, dad of three, and one of the most genuinely human guests we've had on this show. We talk about the deli where he met his wife in medical school, what 33 years of a real marriage actually looks like, how to build a home where your kids feel safe enough to tell you anything, and what his wife's early loss of her mother taught them both about not wasting time. If you've been putting off that appointment — this episode is the nudge you need. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] Reactivity vs. proactivity — why waiting until something is broken is costing men their lives [2:09] What Dr. Kauffman sees when men come in too late — prostate cancer, ED as a cardiovascular warning sign, and diabetes [4:14] How Viagra accidentally revolutionized men's health — and why men started showing up to doctors for the first time [7:27] Dr. Kaufman's background — board certified urologist, 25 years, fellowship in male infertility and andrology, MBA in Health Management [9:00] How he met his wife Cindy — a deli, a list of phone numbers, and a blind date that turned into 33 years [11:52] The non-negotiables of a long marriage — trust, transparency, communication, and shared values [13:49] Seen, heard, and safe — the three things a woman and your kids need to feel in your home [16:29] Vulnerability is not weakness in marriage — it's the foundation of real trust and real connection [19:49] What men most commonly come to Dr. Kaufman for — ED, low testosterone, and prostate health [32:00] ED is the canary in the coal mine — penile arteries are the first to show restricted blood flow, which means something else is coming [33:36] Diet talk — why extreme diets backfire and what a urologist actually recommends for men's health [38:45] The labs every man should be getting — ApoB, cholesterol panel, PSA, and why most men aren't being fully evaluated [42:07] Total testosterone vs. free testosterone — what the current guidelines actually say [43:15] Why getting a testosterone baseline in your 30s is one of the smartest proactive health moves you can make [44:17] Clomid as an off-label option — how it helps men produce their own testosterone instead of shutting the system down [45:06] The risks of walking into a TRT clinic without proper evaluation — fertility, blood thickness, PSA changes, and chasing a number that may not fix anything [51:10] Prolactin — what it is, why it matters, and what a high level could actually mean for your brain Five Key Takeaways Proactive health care is not weakness — it's how you stay around for your kids and grandkids. The men who wait until something is broken are the ones who look back and say "I should have come in a year ago." Erectile dysfunction is not just a bedroom problem. It's a cardiovascular warning sign. The smallest arteries in your body are affected first — and that means something bigger is building downstream. Before you walk into a TRT clinic, get a full workup from a qualified urologist. Young men are unknowingly shutting off their sperm production and permanently altering their pituitary axis without realizing it. Stop chasing the number. A man at 500 who feels great doesn't need to be pushed to 1,000. How you feel matters more than the number on the lab result. Safety is the foundation of everything — in your marriage and with your kids. When the people you love feel safe to bring you anything, it changes everything. Links & Resources First Form Microfactor: https://1stphorm.com/products/micro-factor/?a_aid=dadedge First Form Level 1 Protein Powder: https://1stphorm.com/products/level-1/?a_aid=dadedge Dr. Leonard Kaufman's office: (954) 228-0924 Find Dr. Kaufman via MVP Men's Health: Search "Dr. Leonard Kaufman" at mvpmensclinic.com https://www.mdvip.com/doctors/leonardkaufmanmd Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1475): https://thedadedge.com/1475 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: your health is not just about you — it's about being around for the people who need you most. Dr. Kaufman has spent 25 years watching men come in too late. Not because they didn't care, but because they were raised to believe that going to the doctor was weak. It's not weak. It's one of the most important acts of leadership a man can make. Get the labs. Know your numbers. And build the kind of home where the people you love feel safe enough to tell you the truth — because that's exactly what your doctor needs from you too. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →When A Man's Wife Gives a 90-day Ultimatum (The Marriage Repairing Secrets)
4w ago00:50:08Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Larry and Uncle Joe are back for another live Wednesday Q&A with real men from the Dad Edge Alliance — and this one hits on two of the most common struggles we hear from men: a marriage in repair mode that's sending confusing signals, and a hot-tempered nine-year-old that nobody knows how to reach. The first question comes from Jimmy — a man whose wife gave him a 90-day ultimatum, who has been doing the work, and who is now completely confused by what's happening. She's been affectionate. Then she's not. Then she pulls back and says no more physical contact. Is it over? Should he give up? Joe and Larry speak into this with the kind of wisdom that only comes from having lived it — including Joe's own experience with physical contact happening and then the wall going right back up, and Larry's stock market analogy that every man in a marriage repair season needs to hear. The second question comes from Mark — a teacher and dad of three whose nine-year-old middle child has a hair-trigger temper that seems to come out of nowhere. Joe drops one of the most memorable pieces of wisdom this show has ever heard about what anger in a young boy actually means, what's running underneath it, and how to find the magma before it erupts. Larry adds his own raw, honest story about his ten-year-old Colton — a family meeting he called, the guilt he took full ownership of, and what it means when the softest voice in your family has to fight just to be heard. Joe closes with a Solomon quote that stops the whole room cold. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] Larry and Joe open the Q&A — May is here, and the Alliance Bible study group gets a shoutout [5:28] Jimmy's question: my wife gave me a 90-day ultimatum, I've been doing the work, she's been affectionate — then suddenly pulled back and said no more physical contact. Is it over? [8:59] Joe's answer: she doesn't feel safe yet — the narrative justifying the divorce is still running, and physical contact is cracking it open in a way that terrifies her [11:47] The mistake Joe made — trying to use physical contact to manipulate the situation back to his side [13:18] It ain't over until you say you're done trying — Joe's message to Jimmy [16:23] Larry's answer: the EKG pattern — she softens, pulls back, softens, pulls back. This is not failure. This is repair. [18:00] The stock market analogy — marriage repair is not a straight line, and the only thing that crashes it is when the man stops doing the work [21:47] Have the clarifying conversation — if you initiate, what do you want from me? Get clear so the lines stop getting blurred [24:49] Do the work for you, not for her — and don't be needy. That standoffish groundedness is what actually draws her back. [27:45] Core values as a filter — Awesome's answer on staying congruent when everything feels chaotic [30:15] Mark's question: my nine-year-old middle child has an explosive temper and I don't know how to reach him [33:24] Joe's answer: middle kids often don't feel seen or heard — and a hot temper at nine means there is a river of rage running just under the surface. Find out what's feeding it. [35:47] What drove Joe's youngest son's anger — self-image struggles and the "am I good enough" question that lives in every boy [37:15] Larry's answer: go in soft, go in curious, and do it shoulder to shoulder — not nose to nose [39:10] The family meeting Larry called about Colton — taking full ownership and asking everyone to do better [42:04] Colton is the softest voice in the family and he's always fighting to be heard — and that has to change [45:07] Joe drops Solomon — the power of life and death is in the tongue. Speak the behavior you want to see. [47:33] The 45-second greeting rule — and why how you welcome your kid home sets the tone for everything that follows Five Key Takeaways Marriage repair is not a straight line — it's the stock market. She will soften and pull back over and over. The only thing that crashes it is when you stop doing the work. If she says no physical contact, have the clarifying conversation. Honor her request — and ask what happens if she initiates. Getting clarity is not weakness. It's leadership. Do the work for you, not for her. The groundedness of a man who keeps growing regardless of her response is one of the most attractive things a woman can witness. A hot temper in a young boy is never just a temper. There is something running underneath it — usually tied to self-image, feeling unseen, or something happening at school that he doesn't have the words to explain yet. The power of life and death is in the tongue. If you want a certain behavior out of somebody — speak that behavior into them. Your words become self-fulfilling prophecies. Links & Resources Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/alliance No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover: Available on Amazon Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1474): https://thedadedge.com/1474 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: the softest voice in your family deserves to be heard — and the words you speak over your kids and your wife are either building something or tearing it down. Joe said it best. Solomon said it first. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Speak the behavior you want to see. Speak life into the people who need it most. And if you're Jimmy right now — don't give up. It ain't over until you say it is. Go out and live legendary.
Transcribe →