Jim Gaffigan on Trump’s Jokes and Patel’s FBI Shake-Up

Summary

The Daily Beast Podcast: Jim Gaffigan on Trump’s Jokes and Patel’s FBI Shake-Up

Release Date: December 5, 2024

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Introduction

In this episode of The Daily Beast Podcast, co-hosts Joanna Coles and Samantha Bee engage in a thought-provoking and entertaining discussion centered around two major topics: the controversial nomination of Cash Patel as the new FBI Director under President Donald Trump, and an engaging conversation with celebrated comedian Jim Gaffigan. The hosts navigate the intricate landscape of American politics while interweaving humor and personal anecdotes, offering listeners both insightful analysis and lighthearted moments.

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Cash Patel’s Nomination as FBI Director

Timestamp: 02:00 - 18:48

The episode delves deep into the tumultuous nomination of Cash Patel for the role of FBI Director. Joanna Coles provides a comprehensive overview of Patel’s controversial stance and the potential implications for the FBI.

• Power and Influence of the FBI:

  • Coles (13:14): “The FBI can investigate anything and everybody. From terrorism and cyber attacks to civil rights violations, they gather intelligence on just about anything.”

• Patel’s Vision for the FBI:

  • Coles (14:03): “He wants to shut that [FBI] down and create a museum of the deep state.”
  • Patel (14:25): Expresses intent to transform the FBI building into a symbol of his disdain for what he perceives as entrenched bureaucratic power.

• Criticism and Concerns:

  • Coles (15:18): “He basically wants to re-weaponize the FBI against perceived enemies, including both Republicans and Democrats.”
  • Coles (16:27): Former Trump administration official Charles Cooperman stated, “He’s absolutely unqualified for this job. He’s untrustworthy.”

• Connection to Conspiracy Theories:

  • Coles (20:16): Discusses Patel's relationship with QAnon, noting his efforts to co-opt the movement for political gain.
  • Bee (21:04): “Their core belief is that a cabal of satanic, cannibalistic child molesters is operating a global child sex trafficking ring that conspired against Donald Trump.”

• Implications for the FBI and American Democracy:

  • Coles (28:54): “The FBI is part of the Justice Department and protects American democracy. It’s hard to game this out when faced with such unbelievable changes.”
  • Coles (30:06): Highlights Patel as one of the most dangerous appointees, alongside figures like Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, citing his book Government Gangsters, the Deep State, the Truth, and the Battle for Our Democracy.

Notable Quotes:

• J. Edgar Hoover Legacy:

  • Coles (13:14): “The FBI is basically synonymous with one man named J. Edgar Hoover... they can really gather intelligence on just about anything.”

• Patel’s Ambitions:

  • Gaffigan (05:22): “Your mother may end up being the cause of your downfall... that was a private anguish letter... but it may be the thing that brings him down.”

• Organization vs. Chaos:

  • Coles (33:03): “This time it’s different. It’s a lot more organized. He has very important people, including Elon Musk in his orbit.”

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Jim Gaffigan’s Insights and Personal Journey

Timestamp: 18:48 - 68:09

Jim Gaffigan, the week’s Beast of the Week, shares his experiences balancing a bustling family life with his thriving career in comedy. The conversation seamlessly blends discussions about Patel’s FBI nomination with Gaffigan’s personal anecdotes, offering a unique perspective on navigating the entertainment industry amidst political turbulence.

• Balancing Family and Career:

  • Gaffigan (03:02): “I hated spa bar music. Wherever you go, it’s that weird, slightly AI sounding strangeness.”
  • Bee (08:56): “I have been watching Jim Gaffigan since I moved to the States 25 years ago…”

• Touring with Children:

  • Gaffigan (55:30): “Imagine you’re about to go on, and then before you go on, the person you love is about to go on. It’s just this unnecessary amount of stress.”

• Creative Process and Stand-Up Comedy:

  • Gaffigan (59:28): “Writing stand-up is something I enjoy doing. It’s not like I’m getting... It’s something that appeals to atheists and believers.”

• Humorous Takes on Political Figures:

  • Gaffigan (47:21): “Which was harder, opening for Donald Trump at the Al Smith dinner or opening for the Pope when he came?”
  • Gaffigan & Bee (70:54): Engaging in playful banter about holiday traditions and comedy.

Notable Quotes:

• On Comedy and Family:

  • Gaffigan (53:37): “Our parents didn’t know, but we are essentially giving cigarettes to a three-year-old.”

• On Hosting Events:

  • Patel (41:54): “There’s no better comedy audience than billionaires and politicians.”

• On Navigating Political Chaos:

  • Gaffigan (35:08): “I think there’s a lot more resistance to Trump than we understand in the Republican Party.”

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Broader Political Implications and Senate Dynamics

Timestamp: 18:48 - 35:08

The hosts explore the potential fallout within the Republican Party regarding Patel’s nomination, highlighting the evolving dynamics in the Senate and the possible emergence of resistance against Trump-aligned appointees.

• Senate Majority Leader’s Role:

  • Coles (24:04): “John Thune is a so-called normie… very well liked by ultra conservatives and more moderate Republicans. He has quite a job of herding cats.”

• Internal Resistance:

  • Coles (25:12): “There’s going to be much more resistance than we realize... normie Republicans, including Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham, secretly appalled by Trump.”
  • Gaffigan (35:08): “There’s a lot more resistance to Trump… Mitch McConnell is fits in the normie category.”

• Potential Outcomes:

  • Coles (32:32): “Democrats have the bureaucracy in Washington to slow things down.”
  • Gaffigan (35:08): “Normie Republicans, as Mary Ann referred to them, want to figure out a way of curtailing his worst excesses.”

Notable Quotes:

• On Senate Leadership:

  • Coles (24:04): “John Thune has defeated Rick Scott, who was Donald Trump’s chosen candidate… this is who they get, and this is who they have to deal with.”

• On Resistance Power:

  • Coles (30:06): “Kash Patel brings a whole another level of scariness because of his book… Both Democrats and MAGA conservatives talk about saving democracy, but they mean different things.”

---

Personal Stories and Banter with Cash Patel

Timestamp: 18:48 - 68:09

The episode takes a lighter turn with humorous exchanges involving Cash Patel, offering listeners a blend of serious political analysis and comedic relief. The dynamic between the hosts and Patel provides a multifaceted view of the current political landscape intertwined with personal insights.

• Humorous Interactions:

  • Patel (41:23): “Have you seen the Masked Singer? What is going on there?”
  • Bee (62:38): “Masked and do lift. See.”

• Comedy vs. Politics:

  • Gaffigan (65:06): “Comedy’s role in political discourse is fascinating… I don’t think people are going to touch it because it’s too loaded.”

• Family Dynamics:

  • Patel (56:37): Discusses touring with children and the stress involved.
  • Bee (57:55): “We rarely come together. Do you do that?”

Notable Quotes:

• On Hosting Comedy Shows:

  • Patel (41:37): “There’s a certain amount of anger… it just doesn’t matter what comes out. He’s the most breezy performer in the world.”

• On Personal Challenges:

  • Patel (53:02): “I have five children in New York City. It just breaks you. You can’t bring ego to anything.”

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Conclusion

The episode masterfully balances intense political discourse with personal storytelling and humor. Joanna Coles and Samantha Bee, along with guest Jim Gaffigan, provide listeners with a nuanced understanding of Cash Patel’s FBI nomination and its broader implications for American politics. Through engaging conversations and insightful analysis, the podcast offers both depth and accessibility, making complex political maneuvers understandable and relatable.

Final Thoughts:

• Bee (35:57): “I think we’re going to start feeling that there’s more resistance than we realize… That’s what’s going to happen.”
• Gaffigan (70:52): “If you have been listening and enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend.”

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Takeaways

• Political Landscape: Cash Patel’s nomination is a pivotal moment with potential ramifications for the FBI and American democracy, spurring internal resistance within the Republican Party.

• Comedy and Politics: Jim Gaffigan’s insights highlight the intersection of comedy and political discourse, emphasizing the challenges and importance of humor in navigating complex societal issues.

• Human Connections: The hosts’ personal anecdotes and interactions underscore the human element behind political and professional endeavors, offering a comprehensive and engaging listening experience.

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*For those who haven’t listened, this episode is a must-read for its insightful analysis, engaging discussions, and the perfect blend of humor and seriousness that characterizes The Daily Beast Podcast.

Transcript

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[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm in my holiday brights because I'm in the hotel room and it's cold. Welcome to the Daily Beast podcast. I'm Joanna Coles, chief content officer of the Daily Beast.

[Samantha Bee]

And I am Samantha Bee, chief content officer of Cash Patel's merch website. Our Take a lap Rhino tank tops are half price this week. Do all your shopping in one place.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's good to know that we're gonna have a T shirt guy in charge of the FBI.

[Samantha Bee]

Yes, please.

[Jim Gaffigan]

On this week's show in the download, we're getting the latest from Inside the Beltway with Daily Beast Washington editor Mary Ann Akers, who will break down the drama with Cash Patel, Trump's FBI director appointee. And for our Beast of the Week, we're talking to the hilarious actor, comedian and Moncharo cover girl, Jim Gaffigan.

[Samantha Bee]

So many good conversations this week. But Joanna, where are you right now? Because you're wrapped in your holiday brights. You have a I'm Wearing a thick turtleneck, but you have like fabric and cashmere up to the nose.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I do. I'm in Los Angeles. I've just come from two days at a spa called Calavi where I was gathering with 25 power women for a summit. And can I tell you how much I hate spa bar music. Wherever you go, it's that kind of weird, slightly AI sounding strangeness.

[Samantha Bee]

It's just beautiful woodwinds and people just like, clanking together bamboo. It's so peaceful. What are you talking about?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I never want to hear another bamboo pipe in my life, but I had a very. It was really interesting talking about sort of what comes next for women. How does this impact women in the workplace? How do women make their voices heard? And now I'm in la, where I'm here for work.

[Samantha Bee]

Well, I need to know, just like, what is the ratio when you gather with other power women? And by the way, I feel like almost every week you're at a power woman summit. There's a lot of summits for a lot of powerful women. Somehow I'm not there. And I'm the one who likes the bamboo music.

[Jim Gaffigan]

That's true. So we should have a bamboo music themed summit. I want to do a beast women's summit summit, actually, at which you will summarily be invited and expected to take part.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, my God.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I do think it's a new moment of sort of women trying to figure out, where are we here? What's going on? What's going on with our healthcare? I mean, the accusations against Pete Hegseth, who, as we know, is Trump's nomination to take over the Department of Defense, and his mother, Penelope Hegseth, who wrote to him critiquing his behavior. The sort of letter that no parent wants to write and certainly no parent wants to surface.

[Samantha Bee]

We should say that I feel like Pete Heth's nomination is on the rocks now. It feels like that might not be happening. And oh, boy. The machinations that his mother is going through to try to take back that letter are. She is out there trying to. Trying to undo the damage of that letter. But it's very telling. Your mother does not write you a letter like that unless she is very called to do well, an extraordinary how.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Your mother may end up being the cause of your downfall, however inadvertently, because obviously that was not a letter that was meant to be seen in public. It was a private anguish letter from a parent to a child. And yet it may be the thing that brings him down. That and the drinking and the. And. And all the accusations of bad behavior.

[Samantha Bee]

This is the stuff that Greek tragedies are made of.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. It's hard not to think of this second presidency of Donald Trump as the final season of a clapped out reality show where the promising candidates or contestants from the first season are so long gone that you can't even remember them. And now we've just got the people who are desperate that can't do anything else. That's what it feels like. We have here Kash Patel, Pete Hegseth, clearly unqualified to do extraordinarily important jobs.

[Samantha Bee]

Extraordinarily important jobs. Can you imagine being a person who works at the FBI right now who's just like, what? I spent my whole life doing? What? And now who's my. Oh, God.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, we have Michael Daley, one of our most seasoned reporters at the Daily Beast, has an excellent piece talking to people in the field at the FBI about how they think about this and how basically every day they're given sort of 12 to 15 cases and they're really on the ground just trying to figure those out. And the idea that a T shirt guy would come in and be trying to sort of close the whole place down. And as we know, he said on his first day he was planning to close the Edgar Hoover Building and turn it into a museum of the deep state.

[Samantha Bee]

It's such a good piece. And if I was being honest with you right now, I would say that I am also just a little bit obsessed with Michael Daly himself. Seen him in meetings. He's incredible.

[Jim Gaffigan]

He's a wonderful reporter. He's in the office before everybody else. He leaves after everybody else. And he's into his 70s now. He's extraordinarily seasoned and accomplished.

[Samantha Bee]

He seems like he knows literally everyone and has more spies scattered around New York City and Washington than anybody. Andy has a pocket protector, and I love him old school.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So he and EBONY Boykin Patterson have done some great reporting for us on Diddy, too. So we'll come back to that as the story heats up.

[Samantha Bee]

I can't wait. And I'm so excited to talk to Jim Gaffigan because I love him.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I have been watching Jim Gaffigan since I moved to the states 25 years ago, and he used to appear as a up and coming standup at the Gotham Comedy Club.

[Samantha Bee]

Well, he's, I think, originally from Indiana and, and I'm from Canada, and I feel like those are just two sister places. And I was thinking a lot about them last night and I was like, I wonder if. And this is going to sound so ridiculous. I wonder if anyone has ever offered him cocaine because I've never been offered cocaine by anyone in my entire life. And I feel like he and I are just two people who you would never offer it to because they're like, it's a waste. They're just going to say, no, you're.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Just going to sneeze on it, going.

[Samantha Bee]

To sneeze into it. Because they're just so unfamiliar. Like, I just feel like he doesn't really party very hard. Neither do. Why we just kind of were like, I'll just go home and have a fernoose or whatever.

[Jim Gaffigan]

All comedians give the appearance that they're just two minutes away from a line of coke that is laid out for them somewhere. I assume that's how you all got ready for the Daily Show.

[Samantha Bee]

We have been reached out to by so many, like, kids, parents in our lives who are like, we just wanted to make sure that your home is a safe place for my child to come to because we know you're in the entertainment industry. And we were like, we're making spice cake tonight. Like, we're not. We don't go out. We don't do that. And he's got five children. I only have three. I'm like a week loser compared to him.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So well, and I barely started. I have two children. The thing I'm fascinated by with people and I long to ask him this is with five children, like how, how do you go on holiday? How do you travel? How do you have meal times and manage that? You speak to everybody. How do you not notice that there might be a child missing? I just don't understand the logistics of having five children.

[Samantha Bee]

I think there's a lot of head counts actually. I think we all learned the lesson of home alone and now we just go, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 1, 2, 3, 4,. 5, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, four, five. Like that is a. Actually pretty big part of it, I imagine.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. I don't know how you get a car either. I guess you get. Because with five kids, two adults, but if there's no, there's no one helping you with them when they're little.

[Samantha Bee]

He's in the entertainment industry. He drives his own stretch limo.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, stretch limo might be the best car. That might be the best family vehicle.

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[Jim Gaffigan]

So joining us now is Mary Ann Akers, the Washington editor for Daily Beast. And Marianne has covered politics and Congress for the Washington Post, for NPR and Roll Call. She was the Congressional editor at the messenger, and before that she taught advanced reporting at the American University. Marianne was the preeminent political gossip columnist of Washington when she penned the Sleuth at the Washington Post, unheard on the Hill at Roll Call. And today we're asking her about her recently published Beast article on the Trump nominated FBI Director. K. Marianne, welcome.

[Joanna Coles]

Hey Joanna, thank you so much for having me.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, it's very exciting to have you and to introduce you to samb.

[Samantha Bee]

Yes, I'm so excited to be talking to you today and I'M very into this story, very into your writing on the subject, and I'm so, so curious about all of it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So why don't you start us off with a bit of background on the FBI, because I'm not sure everybody fully gets what it does.

[Joanna Coles]

That's a really good point, because I think most people don't know the power, power, the incredible power that the FBI has. Actually, the FBI is basically synonymous with one man named J. Edgar Hoover, whose name is still on the building despite legislative attempts to remove his name from that building. It is still there. The FBI can, I mean, it can investigate anything and everybody. I mean, from terrorism and cyber attacks and organized crime and corruption to civil rights violations, child pornography, espionage, you name it. They can really gather intelligence on just about anything. And as I said, anybody, right?

[Samantha Bee]

It's not like a call that you're excited to get. The FBI is here. You're like, what? What's that now?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Okay, so Cash Patel has said that he would like to close down the main Edgar Hoover building and reopen it as a museum of the deep state the following day. Tell us about his nomination and how are people inside the FBI thinking about it?

[Samantha Bee]

Yes. Are we sure that Cash Patel knows what the FBI does? I'm not.

[Joanna Coles]

Okay, that's a great question, Sam. I don't know if he knows exactly what the FBI does, but I can tell you one thing. He wants to shut that shit down. And he really does want to create a museum of the deep state.

[Samantha Bee]

What is the nature? What is the reason for his animus toward the FBI?

[Joanna Coles]

It's really about the accusation against Joe Biden that his administration weaponized law enforcement against Donald Trump. And it's about the vindication of Donald Trump and vengeance against his political enemies.

[Samantha Bee]

Right. So his main criticism is that the FBI was weaponized. And to undo that, he wants to weaponize the FBI. So we're gone, right? I mean, do I have this right?

[Joanna Coles]

Well, yeah, I mean, I think that's a fair point. I think he basically wants to re. Weaponize it in the way that they would like to use it against their perceived enemies. And he has an enemies list, and it's pretty long, and it includes not just Republicans, but Democrats as well.

[Samantha Bee]

He feels to me like someone who is totally unfamiliar with the inner workings of the Bureau. And he also feels like someone who would never pass the psychological test to be employed by the Bureau. How could people there possibly feel about him being in charge of them?

[Joanna Coles]

Maybe terrified, but maybe also feeling that it's more important than ever. That they stick around to keep eyes on someone like this. Who would be in charge of such an enormous, you know, law enforcement agency? You know, it's funny, you said, how do people feel about him? Is he qualified for this job? His own boss in the Trump administration, Charles Cooperman, said, quote, he's absolutely unqualified for this job. He's untrustworthy. It's an absolute disgrace to American citizens to even consider an individual of this nature.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But he would be good for the sales of FBI T shirts, would he not?

[Joanna Coles]

Oh, merch would go flying off the shelves.

[Samantha Bee]

I feel like his T shirts would say Female Body Inspector, though. That's my theory.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Because that's what he thinks the FBI stands for, right? Female Body Investigators. And also, isn't he the purveyor of T shirts, which just said, who farted?

[Joanna Coles]

I have read that. And, you know, yeah, he's really into his merch. You know, he's really into merch that is about himself. He's really into cashing in on cash. I think we could see a lot of merchandise in that museum.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So new revenue sources for the FBI.

[Samantha Bee]

If he is confirmed, how much power would he actually have to do what he says he's going to do? Is he capable of that?

[Joanna Coles]

I mean, that's unclear, Sam, and it's a really good question. It's actually a really serious question, too, because we don't know yet how serious the Magaverse is about making good on its threats and its promises to its promises to its followers and its threats to its perceived enemies. So, I mean, he certainly would have a ton of power as FBI director. Every FBI director does. And, you know, in the wake of the reforms, the Watergate reforms. Right, that came along to try and undo a lot of the damage that that Hoover did are still in place. And there were some FBI directors who famously, like, wouldn't even go to the White House because they did not want to be perceived as political in the slightest. I don't think we'll have that problem with Cash Patel.

[Samantha Bee]

Is there anybody within the organization who you think might be excited about the new leadership or. They don't. They probably don't publicly speak about it. I would imagine they would not publicly speak about it.

[Joanna Coles]

It would not be in anybody's best interest to be on the record, you know, speaking positively or negatively about the incoming administration and who actually might take over the FBI if he's confirmed? He. He is, in my mind, like, the single most controversial nominee yet that Trump has put forward. But it's early, but so far, people aren't coming out against him as quickly as they came out against, like, Matt Gaetz and as quickly as they have against Hexap for Defense secretary.

[Samantha Bee]

Why do you think that is?

[Joanna Coles]

I don't know that people know a lot about Cash Patel. In fact, Susan Collins, I believe it was Senator Susan Collins who said, you know, she just doesn't know enough about him and wants to learn more. But that's why the Senate holds confirmation hearings, and that's why the Senate gets to exercise its advise and consent role in betting these nominees. Nominees and really learning who they are.

[Jim Gaffigan]

The other thing that's slightly odd is that the FBI currently has a director who Donald Trump appointed in his presidency, Christopher Wray. Who's still got three years to run on his ten year contract.

[Joanna Coles]

Exactly. And in order for Cash Patel to become FBI director, Trump would have to fire Chris Wray, which seems like pretty likely bet, or Wray would have to step down willingly himself. And yeah, Trump appointed Chris Wray. And then of course, during all of the investigations into Trump, mostly relating to his over his efforts to overturn the 2020 election and other things, they turned on Chris Wray. You know, Chris Wray became an enemy of the people, just like the media and just like many Democrats.

[Samantha Bee]

How serious do you think could the consequences be of having an FBI director who is also a conspiracy theorist? I mean, can you talk a little bit about his connection to QAnon? I mean, this is pretty fascinating.

[Joanna Coles]

Yeah. You know, it's unclear to me like how. Whether he actually believes it or he just is smart enough to know. And in fact, he has said that he realizes that QAnon has a very intense and significant number of followers. And he said that he really wanted to co opt that group because any group out there, whether it's a conspiracy theory group or, you know, any political group, any ideology or fringe movement that loves Donald Trump. Cash Patel realized it's really important to co opt those people and make friends with them, whether you believe what they're espousing or not. He has certainly given QAnon a platform.

[Samantha Bee]

Right.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Their core belief is that a cabal of satanic, cannibalistic child molesters is operating a global child sex trafficking ring that conspired against Donald Trump. Right.

[Joanna Coles]

Yeah, it's. It's wacky bananas. You cannot make this stuff up. And they think that the only way they think that, that Trump has to come back and win, which he's done and he will be back. So maybe it wasn't in that order, but yeah, the belief is that Trump has to come back and only Trump alone can do this. And I think you heard during the first Trump administration when Trump would say things like only I can do this, I alone. It kind of echoes the core beliefs of QAnon.

[Samantha Bee]

Can I ask this question? How do they reconcile Trump's friendship with Jeffrey Epstein? Like, okay, so QAnon wants cash Patel to release the Epstein flight logs. And so do Republicans like Marsha Blackburn, which you reported on. But she knows that he's on the logs. I mean, they're photographed together at parties. How can you. I'm actually asking you to find a thread of logic in the q in the QAnon Canon of Mysteries. But is there a logic to it? Because it is evading me completely.

[Joanna Coles]

Yeah, it is so interesting, isn't it? The little hypocrisy there and as you said, is illogical. But I'm assuming that to them Trump can do no wrong. And so what if Trump flew on the Lolita Express and was very good friends, as Joanna and you have reported on your podcast, you know Trump and Epstein were bff, right?

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah.

[Joanna Coles]

And Epstein, as we know, was a convicted pedophile and sex trafficker. So how will they reconcile that? They probably simply won't. They just won't discuss it. It will be off limits.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's bizarre. And if anybody hasn't listened to the tapes that we reported on of Jeffrey Epstein discussing Donald Trump and why he, Jeffrey Epstein, who is a great friend of Donald Trump, thought that Donald Trump was unsuited to be president. Go back through our archives because it's an incredibly interesting story and the tapes are extraordinary because he's talking. He was a source for Michael Wolf's book Fire and Fury. And the detail he has on Donald Trump is really extraordinary.

[Samantha Bee]

Can we talk a little bit about John Thune? Because he must wake up in the morning and go, wow, what a mountain. I'm about to. I'm not even. He's like, not. I'm not even at base camp yet.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I mean, and imagine too that he must have all his life dreamt of this moment of leading the Senate, of being the Senate Majority Leader. And then it's his extraordinary cross to bear that he's having to deal with all these nominations.

[Joanna Coles]

Yeah, I think it's going to be so interesting. I'm really excited just to see how the shit show in Congress plays out. And John Thune is a so called normie. He's one of the Republicans who is normal. And that's, you know, how they refer to normies. And he's very well liked. He's very well liked by ultra conservatives and more moderate Republicans. And he is going to have quite a job of. Of herding cats, as Republican leader Trent Lott used to call it. And he will be herding cats and cattle and lions and tigers. I mean, it's just going to be wild, I think. Yes, he definitely wanted this job. He has wanted this job for a long time. And he's pro. And he clearly defeated John Cornyn. He defeated Rick Scott, who was Donald Trump's chosen candidate to be Senate Majority Leader, because they're very close. And of course, Susie Wiles is close with that senator because he was a client of hers. And it would have been very good for the. For the Trump White House to have him as the majority leader. They didn't want Thune, but this is who they get, and this is who they'll have to deal with.

[Samantha Bee]

I never really like to find myself pinning all my hopes on Susan Collins.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Is there a possibility that the revenge of the normies actually has an impact here, that enough Republican senators don't like Donald Trump and don't want to see his more extreme nominees get the job?

[Joanna Coles]

Yes, that is an exciting possibility, for sure. And, you know, it could be the revenge of Mitch McConnell, because McConnell is fits in the normie category. Now, you may not think that because he went along with just about everything that Donald Trump wanted throughout his administration. He clearly was so angry, you know, toward the end, on January 6, 2021, when Trump invited his supporters to Washington and they were there on the National Mall and they stormed the Capitol in a very deadly fashion. And just. It was just so horrible. I'm sure you have PTSD as well as I do from it. And McConnell's speech on the floor was so powerful against Trump and against what had happened and the attack on the institution of Congress, but as time went on, he kind of filed back in Lyme. And I think now that he is untethered from the burden of running the Senate and being the leader of his party in the Senate, that he is going to have a lot more leeway to make individual and choices that could go against the grain and certainly could cause severe friction and tension with the Trump White House.

[Samantha Bee]

It feels so antithetical to me that now we have a potential FBI director who literally platforms the January 6th insurrectionists, who raises money for them, who elevates their beautiful music and provides it to the public. I mean, you know, we just, like, culturally in the United States, just, like, are so Worshipful of these agencies, of the FBI, of the CIA. All of so many cultural products seem to, you know, we're just always watching like cop shows and investigative reports and spy shows and everybody's a genius. And now we're going to have a FBI director potentially, who's like, this place is for shit. Let's burn it to the ground. I don't know what the cultural products will look like in the future. I guess they'll all be comedies.

[Joanna Coles]

I mean, we're going to need a lot of comedy, don't you think?

[Samantha Bee]

I mean, I do.

[Joanna Coles]

You are a comedian. Don't you think that that's the only way to cope and it's a good coping mechanism?

[Samantha Bee]

I guess so. But, you know, Putin shut down the comedy shows. That's the first thing he did when he, when he took control. The first thing he did was like literally end a puppet show that had a puppet of him. He was like, let's storm the building.

[Joanna Coles]

How did you feel, you know, yesterday watching the images of martial law in South Korea?

[Samantha Bee]

Wow. I mean, wow. It feels like we're in just on the precipice of a whole new. Just. We just keep discovering whole new worlds and whole new depths.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Do you think, Marianne, there'll be resistance within the FBI? I mean, the whole nature of, or the whole notion of the deep state is this sort of vast civil service that protects American institutions, and they've certainly gone through a series of FBI directors and come out the other side. Is it possible that happens here with Castrotel?

[Joanna Coles]

Absolutely. Because obviously the FBI is part of the Justice Department and so much of what they do is protecting American democracy and they believe it in their core. It's hard to really game this out, okay, because it's so unbelievable that this is happening in the first place. So I really, you know, I really also want to give. I do actually want to be very open minded and see what Cash Patel does if he's confirmed, if he is confirmed. First of all, we should say that if he does become FBI director, maybe it won't be as bad as he has said it will be, as he has hinted that it will be. And when I say as bad as it will be, that would be for any perceived enemies. And that includes Democratic politicians, that includes judges, lawyers, journalists, people in the tech industry. Who else am I missing? The list goes on and on.

[Samantha Bee]

I guess of all of the really just like terrible nominations that he has put forward, Cash Patel, is he at the top of your list for or most dangerous, like scariest or what Is your, what does your list look like?

[Joanna Coles]

Is he at the top of the list? He certainly is at the top of the list. When you talk to the Democrats in government, when you talk to Democratic lawmakers and aides and people who work in agencies, federal agencies in Washington, D.C. he is certainly the scariest to them. He and Elon Musk. Okay. And Vivek Ramaswamy. Because, you know, these people are not going to have jobs. Right. If they're actually getting rid of as many people in the federal workforce as they say they will. But Kash Patel brings a certain. He bring. He brings a whole nother level of scariness to them because, you know, he laid all this out in his book that he wrote last year, which was Government Gangsters, the Deep State, the Truth and the Battle for Our Democracy. And it's really interesting when you hear, like, when you hear people in the MAGA world talking about saving democracy. They both use it. The Democrats and the, the MAGA conservatives both talk about saving democracy, but they're talking about two very different things. Of course.

[Samantha Bee]

Right, right. And he seems to have a very clear list. Like, I was on his website watching all his videos, and it's just like Rachel Maddow and Anthony Fauci. Like, it's just a who's who. His list is very, his list of people who he would like to exact vengeance on is quite clear. It's very, very upfront.

[Joanna Coles]

Yeah. And of course, the list includes Joe Biden and Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton and yeah, you know, maybe Bill, although he's very old and weak these days, but, you know, gosh, who else? Obviously Chris Ray.

[Cash Patel]

Okay.

[Joanna Coles]

So as soon as Chris Ray is out of there, he is at the top of the list.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah.

[Joanna Coles]

Along with, you know, Robert Mueller and James Comey and all those guys. But, yeah, it's a, it's such a long list. I was talking with, with a longtime former Democratic aide who now is mostly a consultant who is still very plugged in and very involved in many causes, mostly in the arena of judicial issues and justice. And she said, never underestimate the power of bureaucracy to slow things down. And that is the one thing Democrats have going for them, because the bureaucracy in Washington is like molasses. Right. And it certainly will gum up the works and slow things down. So that's the one thing I think that Democrats and any anti Trump, secretly anti Trump Republicans have going for them.

[Samantha Bee]

But I do think that he has surrounded himself with people who are unwilling to let bureaucrats slow walk things in the same way as before, this time is different.

[Joanna Coles]

I agree, Sam.

[Samantha Bee]

He's a little savvier. Maybe not him, but the people in his camp are a little savvier about what slow walking looks like.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I guess. I guess we'll find out.

[Joanna Coles]

We're going to find out. I mean, it's, it is hard, though, to speed up bureaucracy, right? Well, maybe they'll find a way to do it, but, well, and you remember.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You would hear Gary Cohn saying, oh, I, I would just remove papers from his desk. They also have way, you know, the people around him also have ways of, of slowing him down. Even when they're on Team Trump.

[Joanna Coles]

Yeah, they do, and they will find ways to do it. And this time around, though, I have to say, it does seem a little more organized. Seems actually very organized this time. And as you know, in the last Trump administration, it was chaotic. It was just pure chaos. This time it's a lot more organized. He has very important people, including Elon Musk in his orbit. You know, a billionaire who owns SpaceX and, you know, this incredible social media platform. He has many other people in his orbit who you might not even be aware are there. So this time is different. And it's also like the last chapter, the final act. It's going to be very different from the first Trump administration. And this time, of course, at least for the first two years, Republicans have control of both houses, both chambers of Congress, and the White House.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah, he understands television. He understands what a grand finale looks like.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Could be America. U.S. grand finale.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, boy.

[Joanna Coles]

That's exactly right. Wow.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Marianne, thank you for coming on and cheering us up so much.

[Joanna Coles]

Anytime.

[Samantha Bee]

This was so great. Thank you so much.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, we, we appreciate your reporting very much and always look forward to seeing your stories.

[Joanna Coles]

Well, thank you so much for having me and have a really happy day.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Okay, so that, that's a cheery way to, to go into the day.

[Samantha Bee]

Very cheery. I will say this, like, on another cheery note. I think that everything that could be the worst thing that happens is going to be the thing that happens. I'm not falling for any positive spin on anything. I don't trust anyone. I think, like, whatever is the worst scenario we can all imagine is the scenario that will exist. I really believe that.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think there's a lot more resistance to Trump than we understand in the Republican Party and that we are going to start feeling that. We already saw it with the Gates appointment not making it through. We saw it with Trump's own nomination for Senate leader. Rick Scott. He wanted, didn't get through, I think there's going to be much more resistance than we realize, because I think a lot of normie Republicans, as Mary Ann referred to them, including people like Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham, who in public kiss the ring of Trump, are in private still appalled by him and want to figure out a way of curtailing his worst excesses. That is, I think, what's going to happen.

[Samantha Bee]

I think what is more likely to happen is that people who have intelligence or a streak of resistance in them will actually just d step down rather than take it on, because the full force of that anger is actually very threatening and scary and very difficult to bear bravely. And a lot of these people are at the end of their careers, and I just don't believe that they're going to be up for it. And that's a really sad and cynical take, but it is my true take. And anyway, that's why I want to do a cookie swap, because I need to do a cookie swap. I need it like oxygen.

[Jim Gaffigan]

We need some butter and sugar after that.

[Samantha Bee]

I think Marianne is great. That was so, so interesting. It's interesting to me that he's at the top of her list of very dangerous appointees nominations.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I have a hard time believing it will get through. And Susan Collins, the politician, not your cat, sort of created a hostage to fortune when she said she didn't know much about Kash Patel. Because the more you find out about him, clearly, the less likely he is to run an organized FBI. I find it hard to believe that even Susan Collins could vote for him. But we will see.

[Samantha Bee]

You know what? I think we'd be better off if my cat was in the Senate right now, because I think my cat would make a braver choice.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think we should have your cat, Susan Collins, for the head of the FBI.

[Samantha Bee]

She would do a better job. She would do a more responsible job. What she will do is she will. Will eat her meal, she will get to work, she will immediately fall asleep on everybody's newspapers, and she's gonna lie there all day until 11pm when she really wakes up.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I bet there are some FBI directors who've done that, too.

[Samantha Bee]

I think you're right.

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[Joanna Coles]

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[Joanna Coles]

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[Joanna Coles]

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[Cash Patel]

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[Joanna Coles]

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[Joanna Coles]

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[Samantha Bee]

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[Joanna Coles]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

We'Re thrilled to be joined by this week's Beast of the Week. Jim Gaffigan, comedian, actor, writer, producer and the king of clean comedy. His material ranges from fatherhood and the Smurfs to religion and Pat Sajak. He's a two times New York Times bestselling author, three times Emmy winner and seven times Grammy nominee for his numerous comedy specials. And right now, he's got a new special called the Skinny. It's on hulu. It's his 11th special.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, my God, you look okay. First of all, Jim, I'm so happy to see you. And, Joanna, you look very polished.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It's. I'm in the dark. I'm in the dark. That's why it looks glowing.

[Cash Patel]

It's 5am in LA.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I think it's actually 3am in LA.

[Cash Patel]

I have so many questions for you two. So, like, when Trump puts you in jail, do you get to pick the jail you go to?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, we were going to ask you the same thing.

[Samantha Bee]

We're all going to jail.

[Cash Patel]

But publicist is like, don't talk about politics.

[Samantha Bee]

Enjoy these last few months.

[Cash Patel]

I think I'm going to be fine. But, like, it's gonna be interesting, right?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, I mean, Jim, you started off the Al Smith dinner by saying, good evening, rich people. Trump is gonna love that because he wants to be thought of as rich, Right. And he wants to hang out with other rich people. Tell us about the experience of emceeing that extraordinary evening.

[Cash Patel]

There's no better comedy audience than billionaires and politicians. Right? But I, I do love history. And, you know, the significance, or maybe it's just from my perspective of the Al Smith dinner is so. It's, you know, the tradition is that there's one day where they kind of, you know, poke fun at themselves. That's the first time I was ever in the room with Donald Trump. And, like, he has a true gift for, like, communication. I describe it, he was kind of performing on his heels, you know, where it's like, you know, as a comedian or an actor, you're kind of on your toes. And he was, he was just reading through, killing the entire time. So it was really fascinating to witness essentially someone kind of mumbling through and killing. You know, it was like, I. I don't know. I don't want to compare him to Richard Pryor, but I feel like Richard Pryor could do anything on ng, just succeed. But, like, I was very impressed by the success. What if I turned out to be a Trump supporter? Like, you figure that out, It'd be amazing. And that's why I love it.

[Samantha Bee]

And that's why I'm wearing. Let me take my jacket off and reveal all of my merch.

[Cash Patel]

Put on my cap.

[Samantha Bee]

Put on your cap. I agree with you because he's so. Because he's so relaxed, because he doesn't give a shit what he says. It doesn't matter what comes out. So he's the most breezy performer in the world. Did you meet him?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Did you.

[Samantha Bee]

Did he come up to you And.

[Cash Patel]

I met him briefly. God, it was just so. I mean, look, all politicians are weird, but, you know, Chuck Schumer and Kathy Hochul are. They're kind of what you'd imagine. But like, having been in the room with like, Clinton has that, that magnetism where it's like, it might as well be Bono coming in the room. Right, Right. But Trump, there was something like, there was a certain amount of. I felt like even these billionaires were deferential. I thought the most interesting thing of the night was Letitia James because she showed up, you know, like. So Trump is, you know, has to encounter kind of enemies all the time and. But like, Letitia James, what a star. Right? Like, she walks into, like really, you know, like there's people she's investigating and there's also people that are possible or future competition. And she was just cool as an ice cube. It was really incredible.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Did they meet at all? Because obviously she's led all the charges against him in New York as the ag. Did Donald Trump and Letitia meet?

[Cash Patel]

Well, there was a deus room where we're all back there, but we're all kind of lined up. I don't think they interacted in the end. It's very high school. It's very entertainment industry where it's kind of. There's a civility, a kind of, you know, the entertainment industry is all very fake. Like, everyone's a big fan, right? Big fan. You know, I mean, it's just the price of entry. And so I, I was fascinated to see that these billionaires and then the politicians that really need the billionaires. Right. So it was really interesting.

[Samantha Bee]

Events like that are so freaky. Like, I remember the first time going to the correspondence dinner in D.C. and like George W. Bush was the president and all these journalists winning or were winning awards for writing stories about how he's a war criminal. And then everybody stands on. They stand on the stage together and take photos together and they're like holding a certificate and they're like, I wrote a story and I said the worst things about you that you probably read my article and hate my guts. And they're just like smiling in a photo. It's so strange.

[Cash Patel]

You can't take it personally. It's all. It sounds like a mafia quote. It's just business. Right. Whereas I think creative people, we, you know, to create things, you have to take things personally, but to navigate the business, you have to kind of be non emotional about it. But politicians, that's another level because they're doing a Constant meet and greet and they're. The pay is horrible. You know what I mean?

[Samantha Bee]

The dividends are incredible though, right?

[Cash Patel]

Yeah. I mean, they all end up being millions.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah, they all end up rich. Kamala should have gone, like, I know, it was like, it's like a hotbed of activity, but she definitely should have gone. I mean, you had great jokes about it.

[Cash Patel]

You know, I know that we're in the middle of this never ending autopsy, but I think that was a mistake. And by the way, her campaign manager, I saw this, her campaign manager is from Boston. Her brother is a politician in Boston. So they can't claim ignorance. I think there was kind of like, this might be a bad thing. Trump just kind of tearing into. I mean, he did tear into de Blasio, which was like, all right. I mean, well, we're not gonna tear into. No, but it was one of those things where you're like, all right. It's like a strange level of bullying. It wasn't even kind of giving shit. It was just oddly harassment.

[Samantha Bee]

Right.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Which was harder, opening for Donald Trump at the Al Smith dinner or opening for the Pope when he came?

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Cash Patel]

Both of them. No win situations.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Right.

[Cash Patel]

It's just the Pope. Opening for the Pope was just. That's, you know, no one's coming to see the comedian. You know what I mean? No one's like, you know, the Pope was good, but the comedian was better. It was. I think it was more terrifying. And also it's Philly. In Philly.

[Joanna Coles]

Oh.

[Cash Patel]

You know, they're looking to kind of. And I was just. What level of a reverence can you engage in, you know, when you're. Or sarcasm, when you're following someone who's doing a beautiful dance routine in their wheelchair that they're confined to? It's like, it's hard to do stand up after that. But I would say that the Al Smith thing was scarier in a way because it was the loyalists of Trump and the loyalist of Kamala. I knew that I was going to anger them on some level, you know, and part of me, it's. I don't care. And I love history. But part of me is like, well, you know, I do want my kids to go to college.

[Samantha Bee]

Right. How do you, like. I mean, it's so funny because you're just like a. I'm going to say this, a titan of comedy. Is that okay for me to say? But like, what are, what do jitters feel like in you? Like, do you get nervous? Do you kind of like agonize and you're like, oh, God, Al Smith is in five days. The countdown is on. Like, what does that feel like?

[Cash Patel]

I mean, I think it was all surrounding the Trump thing because there was, like, this calculation that if he's like, I don't like this guy, he could bring it up and tell people, and his loyalists would be like, whatever you want, we'll take him out. You know what I mean? It's like, there are people in the entertainment industry that have, like, a security detail.

[Samantha Bee]

Yes.

[Cash Patel]

And you're like, do you really need that? And they're like, yeah, I do. And I'm like, yeah, really? And they're like, yeah. And so, like, that's just weird. I mean, and I think that Trump does have a certain amount of sense of humor, but he could sic people on someone, you know what I mean?

[Samantha Bee]

And it doesn't take much for that window to open and the winged monkeys to fly out the window. Like, they're easily triggered.

[Cash Patel]

Like, I appeared on the View. I don't want to brag, but I was on the View. And. And the amount of anger that that prompts from people. It's a show called the View, which would lead you to believe that someone's going to articulate their view. But people get angry, angry. It's like, just don't watch it. You know what I mean? If it's that upsetting to you. But I think it's fascinating that there, you know, this show that is, you know, people talking about how they feel on issues, and they're not universal opinions, really. It just angers people. It's so fascinating.

[Samantha Bee]

Just like a coffee clutch. Everybody's maximum. It is just like, we are in, like, maximum overdrive all the time. People were so angry about something the other day. I was like, you gotta pace yourself. You gotta just like, you do need to take a break from.

[Cash Patel]

I do feel sorry for the host, some of you, because I've been doing it for years. And, you know, when you go, you watch, they do their first segment, and usually they'll. There'll be one topic from the news. They'll be, you know, like, in W's era, there was a certain thing. And Obama, like, oh, people are criticizing him for his suit. But like I did a couple days ago, the first segment was like, all right, we have to go through these 13 points. Like, they had to cram everything into, like, one segment. And each of them were lightning rod issues.

[Samantha Bee]

What are your 13 hottest takes on these 13 issues?

[Cash Patel]

There's going to be kids in cages. We Got to move on. It's just so. We live in such a weird time.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, my God. Okay. I loved the Skinny. I watched it. I think it's great. What is your process? Like, what is your writing process? You've done so many. Was this your 11th special?

[Cash Patel]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. But, you know, I love it. It's all self assignment. And some of it is just the fear of, you know, I'm always touring, so, you know, people coming to a show, they need new stuff and, you know, challenging myself to talk about more, you know, things that might make me uncomfortable is a good assignment. But. But, yeah, some of it is. It's just so rewarding, you know, it's just that, you know, as a. The creative outlet of standup is so immediate. And also sometimes I'm just complaining about my kids.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, you have almost as many kids as you have specials.

[Samantha Bee]

So many kids.

[Cash Patel]

A lot of kids.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Five kids, right?

[Samantha Bee]

Five kids in New York City.

[Cash Patel]

And I love New York, but it was a mistake. It was a total mistake.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah, that is a mistake. I only have three. I feel like such a weakling. I feel weak. Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And I've only got two. And I still couldn't manage to talk to both of them every day. So, A, how do you travel together? And B, how do you manage to talk to every one of them every single day?

[Samantha Bee]

Is it like a wedding where you're like, you have to go around from table to table?

[Cash Patel]

It's like a meet and greet. I mean, obviously my wife is, you know, the hero of the whole thing.

[Samantha Bee]

She's incredible.

[Cash Patel]

It's a lot. And by the way, I sincerely believe this is a recent observation. I'm convinced, you know, we've all read the Anxious generation. I'm convinced that, you know, like, there's the greatest generation. I'm convinced that our generation, as parents is the worst generation. We are the worst at it. And some of it is. Is. And by the way, our parents weren't that great at it, but they did better by not even trying. It's really sad because we're trying so hard and not good at it. I don't know. That's my take.

[Samantha Bee]

Well, they didn't try at all. And we all had to work really hard to build our lives, and now we're trying so hard that their experience of life is so different and they're so demeaning to us.

[Cash Patel]

Yeah. And it's cruel. Like, in. In 50 years, they're going to be like, your parents let you have a phone, and we're Going to be like, we're essentially giving them cigarettes. We're giving cigarettes to a three year old. Like we are. But we didn't know.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Jim the Skinny is about you losing weight. And I wanted to know whether or not. I mean, John Cleese always said that once he started having therapy, he stopped being funny. I'm fascinated to know what's the impact of having lost weight on it, on your creative live life and also just physically.

[Cash Patel]

Yeah. Because it is, you know, it's an appetite suppressant. But it is. And I joke around about how it's. And they're going to discover that it probably helps people with other compulsions and obsessive behaviors. And I joke around about how, like, I feel no emotions now, but.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So you feel like a British person?

[Cash Patel]

Yes, I'm, I'm. I've become very Anglican. No, I don't know. I mean, some of it is. I feel like it makes me behave like a normal person. So instead of eating two boxes of Triscuits, I'll just eat a half a box of Triscuits. That's my ad for Manjaro. No, I. I don't know if it's changed that much because some of it is. Writing stand up is something I enjoy doing. So it's not like I'm getting. It's not like my lifestyle's changed that much. Outside of just not consuming food constantly.

[Samantha Bee]

What was it like touring with your son?

[Cash Patel]

Oh, my God. That's a lot of stress.

[Samantha Bee]

Okay, tell me.

[Cash Patel]

Imagine you're about to go on.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah.

[Cash Patel]

And then before you go on, the person you love and care about is about to go on. So it's just this unnecessary amount of stress. It is great, but it's, it's a lot of stress. And I'm going to do more shows with him during his spring break. But it's weird because it's. It's one of those things where he's good at it. But, you know, you have to be mentally ill to want to do standup. And I don't know if he's that mentally ill. You know, like, he enjoys it, but I don't know if he wants the life.

[Samantha Bee]

Because when you would tour before your family did not come, your family didn't come with you, so you kind of did. You feel like you had the freedom. You were just like very focused, focused on the work. But now you've introduced a little bit of parenting into the touring.

[Cash Patel]

I would tour, like on spring breaks.

[Samantha Bee]

Okay.

[Cash Patel]

We would get on a tour bus or during the summer, we Would do a tour bus. And so there were, and there were a lot of Thanksgivings at like in Las Vegas, you know, and we used to go to Milwaukee, my wife's from Milwaukee. So we would, they would be present at a lot of the shows, but as they got older, they were less interested and. But yeah, so there was, there was kind of every family trip was kind of. I would do a show to kind of pay for the trip and stuff like that. But yeah, I would say there is. But now when I go, like, so I'm going to Philadelphia next week and like those days off will be, you know, I'll be able to sleep, you know, I don't have to wake up to get a kid to school or to beg them to get dressed to go to school.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I can't imagine what it's like trying to get five kids to get dressed to go to school.

[Cash Patel]

Oh my God, again, I'm not good at it. I do maybe a fraction of what my wife does, and we're not succeeding. I take no credit.

[Samantha Bee]

I once filmed a bit where we would have our children lined up and we would shoot them in the face with a water cannon filled with hot oatmeal to get them ready for the day. And I feel like that's kind of what it feels like.

[Jim Gaffigan]

That sounds so much fun if you're a kid.

[Cash Patel]

I have a friend and her and her husband are both comedians. They have a teenager and she told me that. She goes, oh, our daughter, Bonnie McFarland, who's very funny, she goes, oh, our daughter has gotten up on her own and gotten herself to school since middle school. And I'm like, what? Cause like, my kids, like, Monday morning is kind of always a surprise for them. Like, they're just not prepared. You're like, what their school? And so it's just, they're like, oh my gosh, I have a backpack. It's all new.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, that sounds very familiar.

[Cash Patel]

Self reliant kids, that would be amazing.

[Samantha Bee]

Do they watch your specials? Do they like your comedy? Do they appreciate when you make jokes about.

[Cash Patel]

They don't care if I'm on SNL and Chapel Rowans there, You know, they'll be excited about that. Or like I met, you know, I was on the same SNL episode as Mulaney. They're excited about that. But otherwise they're like, you know, I. One time I was, I walked by my daughter's room, but she's now 15, I think she was 13, and she was talking on the phone. She goes, yeah, my dad's a comedian, but he. It's for, like, old people. I was like, yeah, all right. She also thought that, like, we tried to get her to watch the halftime of a Super bowl, and she thought Rihanna was old. And I was like, rihanna's old.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So, Jim, what is the process of. Of how you write a joke? Do you sort of. I feel like a lot of your comedy is from real life. So is everything copy to you? Do you workshop it? Do you try it out? What. What's the process?

[Cash Patel]

Yeah, I mean, it depends on different topics, but if it's family or my kids, it's usually, you know, kind of complaint based. And then there's some things where it'll kind of bump me as odd, and I'll kind of investigate whether that be, like, the, you know, some social media or Internet stuff, and then just.

[Joanna Coles]

Just.

[Cash Patel]

It's weird. I. You know, like, the religion stuff just, I. I mean, it just keeps coming up and it's this ancient topic, and it's kind of all been done before, but I kind of find it entertaining because it is something that appeals to atheists and believers, which is kind of fun. But I don't know, it's. I wish I knew the process. I'd probably exert a lot less effort.

[Samantha Bee]

Does Jeannie take jokes out of your stuff? Is she like, no, or, I like this one, but I don't like this one.

[Cash Patel]

She will say things like, I don't like that. And, you know, we used to much the collaboration, and I know you and your husband, it's like, as your kids get older, it's harder to collaborate. You're essentially just trying to get things done. You know, her writing participation varies dramatically. And sometimes she'll see a show and she'll be like, I can't believe you're saying that. You know what I mean? But it's mostly good.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, like, what are the products that you watch together? Like, do you and Jeannie watch TV shows together? Jason and I have, like, separate viewing habits now. We're just.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[Samantha Bee]

Like, we just watch totally different things.

[Cash Patel]

Yeah.

[Samantha Bee]

We rarely come together. Do you do that?

[Cash Patel]

My wife loves, you know, murder stuff. Right. So Dateline, that's her relaxing, you know, hearing about someone, you know, murdering a spouse.

[Samantha Bee]

She loves that stuff.

[Cash Patel]

I like history and I like, you know, politics. Kind of the. Kind of summation of the day thing. But, yeah, there's been a long, ongoing compromise. I would much more be in the Sports center, but I kind of gave that up because it's just, you know, again, if someone has, like, if you're in bed and we watch TV in bed, and you're like, well, I have to compromise. I can't be like, hey, you're going to love watching Stephen A's take on. On the Cowboys. She's not interested. So, you know, we find middle grounds on things that we'll watch, which is usually, I would say it's kind of like news, kind of politics stuff.

[Samantha Bee]

Right, right, right. Well, I will say that Jason and I watched your special together.

[Cash Patel]

Oh, that's.

[Samantha Bee]

And we loved it.

[Cash Patel]

Oh, well, thank you.

[Samantha Bee]

I know that's like, the first thing we've watched together in, like, a year or something.

[Cash Patel]

Well, by the way, it's, like, also, as. I find it really complimentary because, like, I think funny people typically are less likely to consume comedy.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, yeah.

[Cash Patel]

You know what I mean? Like, you're like, there's great shows that I just have no interest in watching. You know, I'm like, that. That are comedies. I don't. I'd much rather watch a drama than a comedy.

[Samantha Bee]

Me, too. Like, some things that you watch or that people call you to watch feel like, work. Like, you're like, I want. I know I'm supposed to want to watch this, but it feels like work. I would say, like, actually, in particular, your specials are an exception to that. They're just, like, smooth. There's no. It's. There's no work to, like. There's no, like, oh, how did. How did that get. Like, you can relax. Like, that's a different experience because you can relax because you're in good hands. But like, a TV show, like a comedy show, like a half hour, we can't. We are incapable of watching.

[Cash Patel]

Right.

[Samantha Bee]

Because we may.

[Cash Patel]

All right, here, I have a question for both of you. Have you seen the Masked Singer? I see commercials for it. I love Ken. Dr. Ken. Great guy. I know it's a big hit, but I see it, and it's like they take their hood off and they reveal so. And so it's like, what is going on there? And what is the appeal?

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah. And I also feel like it's edited in a way that feels like I'm on psychedelics. Like, I feel like I've. It's like, just like having strobe lights for someone who has epilepsy. I'm like, I can't. I can't handle it. I'm like, give me a drama about the Troubles.

[Cash Patel]

Yes.

[Samantha Bee]

In Ireland, this is relaxing to my brain.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I never know who the people are if they unmask them anyway, so I'm like, eh, yeah.

[Cash Patel]

They kind of like, they're like, can you believe it? It's, it's John. So. And so from the third season of you know what?

[Samantha Bee]

I will. I will watch the Masked Singer. If one day Joanna Coleslaw is one of the masked.

[Cash Patel]

Oh my gosh, it's Joanna calls for the Daily Beast.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Jim, it's particularly fun for me to talk to you because I watched you when I first moved to New York 25 years ago @ the Gotham Comedy Club, and you would be doing a sort of 10 minute stand up with sometimes Jerry Seinfeld, a political commentator called Walter Shapiro. There were various other people, but you so stood out because you were so funny and also actually because you didn't curse. And that also felt different because often, especially when you're seeing people try out, you feel that you get this stream of curse words which sort of sets up an aggression somehow. A, is that a conscious thing that you don't do it? And B, where do you think comedy goes now with Trump about to swing his legs from the President's chair again?

[Cash Patel]

It's gonna be interesting, I think, because to answer the Trump thing. Cause it, you know, as a comedy nerd, it is fascinating because the trajectory of when he was. Because before he was elected in 2016, I think people had an insatiable desire to hear about Trump. And then when he was elected, I remember because I've never done that type of material. But watching other comedians, then hearing people talk about politics in a comedy club, you'd see the audience kind of look at the ceiling. Like, I came here to not think about this. You could reference it in kind of acknowledging a certain amount of chaos culturally that was occurring. But I don't know what's going to happen. I think that it's going to be one of those things where people, unless it's a show, like a television show that focuses on that, or even Seth Meyers doing his is a closer look. I don't think people are going to touch it because it's too loaded. I don't know, maybe, maybe I sound like a coward, but no, no, no, I think it's too complex. The cultural divide is getting deeper. I mean, he won. You know what I mean? So it's like, all right, you know, so half the people are like they were fine or they have no memory, you know, so you have to. To face the reality that half of us are kind of like, yeah, let's go back to that. So I think it's mass singer and dancing with the Stars.

[Samantha Bee]

Dancing with the Stars.

[Cash Patel]

I don't like to sing or dance. Maybe that's some of my.

[Samantha Bee]

No, that makes you the perfect contestant.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And also, once you've finished your course of Manjaro, you'll be able to dance like a total star. You'll be able to dance and be.

[Samantha Bee]

Masked and do lift.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I just.

[Samantha Bee]

All of it. See.

[Cash Patel]

Like, even when I'll see a clip for Dancing with the Stars, there's part of me, like, when I was a little kid, there would be commercials for the Lawrence Welk Show.

[Samantha Bee]

Yes.

[Cash Patel]

And I remember as a little kid going, what. What is that? And there was dancing. I'd be like, what the.

[Jim Gaffigan]

What is going on?

[Samantha Bee]

Hell is going on? Why is anyone.

[Cash Patel]

When I see Dancing with the Stars again, you know, I have this long history of criticizing things, and then I get into it, like hiking and all this stuff. But, like, Dancing with the Stars or the Masked Singer, I'm kind of like, what is going on? Like, what is the attraction? Like, I gotta see. I gotta find out who's in that Elmo costume.

[Samantha Bee]

It's chaos. Oh, my God. Thank you so much for talking to us. Always such a pleasure to talk to you.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, it's so nice to. So nice to meet you, Jim, and thank you for years of laughter.

[Cash Patel]

Oh, thanks so much. Much, you guys. Appreciate it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

That was so fun.

[Samantha Bee]

Thank you so much.

[Cash Patel]

We did it, you guys. We did it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Stan. That was so much fun for me. I. I really have watched him since I first moved here 25 years ago. He's so funny.

[Samantha Bee]

He's so funny. He's lovely. He's really great.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I like.

[Samantha Bee]

I really like talking to him, and I really do. His wife is awesome. She's a force of nature.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, she must be false of nature to have five kids.

[Samantha Bee]

She definitely. I wasn't being false when I said that Jason and I just so comfortably watched and loved his special. Like, we very rarely seek comedy. And his. I don't know. He's just universally beloved and a great person. Like, I don't know. When you have, like, five kids in New York City, I think it just breaks you. It breaks you. And you can't bring ego to anything. Like, it actually makes your. It just dissolves that part of it. So he's just so easy and fun to talk to and so smart. I don't know. I just really admire him.

[Jim Gaffigan]

There's something nice about the way that he just reflects on regular life. I mean, in many ways, he reminds me of Richard Curtis, who just specifically chose to make Movies about the things that power most of us, which is relationships, love, family, the daily things. And that's what I think Jim Gaffigan does so well.

[Samantha Bee]

Well, yeah, I agree. What a delight. The podcast is like a. It's just like a. Like a cornucopia. Just like a tray of delights. Holiday delights, Festive sweet meats and such.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I've never understood what a sweet meat is.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, it sounds awful.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Is the sweet meat like brains or is that sweet breads? Isn't it? That's sweet bread.

[Samantha Bee]

I feel like a sweet bread is like a. The pituitary gland of an animal or something. It's, like, horrible.

[Cash Patel]

Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I don't know why it's called sweet breads. That makes no sense.

[Samantha Bee]

Sweet breads, testicles and such. But sweetmeats. I just think of it as, like, Turkish delight. Like, just a tray of little cubes of things with sugar on them.

[Jim Gaffigan]

That sounds good.

[Samantha Bee]

Things that I would. I don't think that I would want that.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm up for Turkish delight.

[Samantha Bee]

I'm gonna make holiday baking, and I'm gonna make you eat it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, we could do a cookie swap, but I'm gonna buy my cookies. I'm gonna buy them. I'm gonna buy them from Myers of Keswick, the British shop that imports British biscuits, which are delicious. And by biscuits, I mean cookies.

[Samantha Bee]

I know that, everybody. It's so. It's funny to me because out, like, in the world. In the world at large, and you are a glamorous person, and people think of you as a glamorous person, and I just suggested that we do a cookie sword swap, and that is. I don't know if that's offensive or what, but I just want it. I just want it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

All right. I will rise to the challenge.

[Samantha Bee]

Okay.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Gauntlet accepted.

[Samantha Bee]

Great.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So if you have been. Thank you for listening and if you enjoyed this episode, please, like, subscribe and share it with a friend and send.

[Samantha Bee]

Us an email at beastpod the dailybeast.com we might just read your question on an upcoming show, although I can't promise that we will answer it honestly.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And if you're not yet a subscriber to the Daily Beast, it's easy to subscribe. Just go to thedailybeast.com as my beloved.

[Samantha Bee]

Muse once said, be best, everybody.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Sam, you know it's be beast.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, my God, am I ever going to get it right?

[Jim Gaffigan]

The Daily Beast podcast is produced by Sara Demencoft, Svia Beren Reinstein, Jesse Cannon, and Seamus Calder. Additional writing by Sasha Seinfeld Edited by Deanna Chapman and engineered by Cameron Schenken.

[Joanna Coles]

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[Samantha Bee]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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