Harvard Rejects Trump Order, SCOTUS Gets Left on Read | Nimesh Patel

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition – Episode Summary
Episode: Harvard Rejects Trump Order, SCOTUS Gets Left on Read | Nimesh Patel
Host: Ronnie T
Release Date: April 16, 2025

Hosted by Ronnie T, this episode of "The Daily Show: Ears Edition" delves into the latest political clashes between the Trump administration and key institutions, international tensions arising from U.S. trade policies, and a humorous interview with comedian Nimesh Patel.

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1. Trump Administration's Deportation Dilemma

The episode kicks off with a critical look at the Trump administration's mishandling of Abrego Garcia, a Maryland man mistakenly deported to a high-security prison in El Salvador. The administration remains unresponsive to Supreme Court directives urging Garcia's return.

Ronnie T humorously critiques the administration's inaction:

“Donald Trump figured out that when the Supreme Court tells him to do something, he can just ignore them... it's been five days since they told Donald Trump to help bring back Kilma Garcia after they, you know, accidentally deported him to the mega prison in El Salvador.” (00:01)

Key Points:

• Administration's Stance: Officials argue that since Garcia is incarcerated in El Salvador, they lack jurisdiction to intervene.
• Stephen Miller's Frustration: The Trump advisor vents his bewilderment over the Supreme Court's decision and the lack of actionable responses, highlighting the administration's defensive posture.
• Homeland Security's Justification: Claims Garcia wasn't a significant threat, though Ronnie T sarcastically questions the validity of this reasoning.

2. Senator Chris Van Hollen's Rescue Mission

Amidst the chaos, Maryland Senator Chris Van Hollen takes a proactive stance by planning a visit to El Salvador to negotiate Garcia's release.

Ronnie T mocks the potential pitfalls of Van Hollen's mission:

“Do not go. This guy's gonna go there, and the prison guards are gonna be like... Just all the way in the back there.” (04:25)

Notable Quote from Van Hollen:

“And that is why I do intend to visit El Salvador this week to try to visit him, to let him know that we're working to bring him home.” (04:18)

Discussion Highlights:

• Political Implications: Van Hollen's actions are portrayed as the beginning of organized resistance against the Trump administration.
• Public and Institutional Support: The senator’s initiative underscores a broader pushback from elected officials and institutions against executive overreach.

3. Clash with Harvard University

The Trump administration escalates its conflict with Harvard University by announcing a freeze on over $2 billion in grants and $60 million in contracts. This retaliation stems from Harvard's refusal to comply with demands to curb campus activism and eliminate Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs.

Ronnie T highlights the stubbornness and principle-driven resistance of Harvard:

“They're standing up for their principles and for everyone's right to free speech, even if it means possible financial ruin.” (05:34)

Key Points:

• Federal Demands: The administration's attempts to exert control over academic institutions by targeting funding amidst ideological disagreements.
• Harvard's Response: The university prioritizes academic freedom and institutional integrity over financial incentives, positioning itself against political pressure.
• Implications: This standoff raises questions about the future of higher education and the limits of executive power.

Notable Exchange:

Lawrence O'Donnell: “I went to Harvard College. Most of the good things that have happened to me in some way trace back to Harvard.” (06:07)
Ronnie T: “I went to Harvard.” (07:05)

4. International Reactions to U.S. Trade Policies

The episode transitions to the global fallout from the U.S.-China trade war. Ronnie T and guest Chris Van Hollen discuss how international markets and countries like France and Canada are responding to America’s aggressive trade tactics.

Highlights include:

• China's Retaliation: Viral AI-generated content mocks U.S. leadership, portraying Trump in unflattering roles, reflecting strained diplomatic relations.

  “A viral AI generated video is making fun of US China trade relations as tensions escalate.” (13:03)

• France's Opposition: France criticizes U.S. tariffs as "brutal and unfounded," with local actions like replacing Coca-Cola with apple juice at municipal events to protest U.S. policies.

  Desi Lydich: “A town in France has replaced Coca Cola with apple juice at municipal events.” (14:12)

• Canada's Response: Increased boycotts of American goods and travel indicate diminishing respect and cooperation between neighboring allies.

  “Many of them now boycotting American goods and travel.” (15:54)

Notable Commentary:

“Donald Trump promised we'd be respected like never before. And technically, we have reached never before.” (17:08)

5. Comedic Interview with Nimesh Patel

In a lighter segment, host Ronnie T interviews comedian Nimesh Patel, exploring their personal journeys and experiences in the stand-up scene. The conversation touches on cultural identity, the challenges of balancing personal aspirations with familial expectations, and the nuances of navigating the American comedy landscape.

Key Highlights:

• Background Stories: Both hosts share their academic paths, highlighting the pivot from law and finance to comedy.
• Cultural Commentary: Discussions on the stereotyping and representation of Indian Americans in media and politics.
• Upcoming Tour: Nimesh Patel announces his new stand-up tour, emphasizing his comedic focus on personal and societal issues.

Notable Exchange:

Desi Lydich: “I was gung ho on being a pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon. And then I got a C plus in organic chemistry...” (20:35)
Ronnie T: “That's pre med finance. Like, the most. Pick a side.” (20:40)

6. Closing Remarks and Reflections

The episode wraps up with reflections on America's international standing, the internal political battles, and personal anecdotes that underscore the show's blend of news and humor.

Final Insight:

“Donald Trump promised we'd be respected like never before. And technically, we have reached never before.” (17:08)

Conclusion:
This episode of "The Daily Show: Ears Edition" masterfully intertwines serious political discourse with sharp satire and personal storytelling. From scrutinizing the Trump administration's policies and their repercussions on both domestic and international fronts to offering a glimpse into the lives of comedians navigating cultural identities, the show provides a comprehensive and entertaining overview of current events and societal dynamics.

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Listen to the full episode on Paramount+ or watch it weeknights on Comedy Central at 11/10c.

Transcript

[Ronnie T]

You're listening to Comedy Central from the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, Ronnie T. Hey, welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Roy Chang. We got so much to talk about tonight. The Supreme Court gets left on red. Democrats are hitting up El Salvador for spring break, and someone at Harvard does not like them apples. So let's get into it. I'm gonna come. Yesterday was a big day in American history. A group of women finally met society's expectations to weigh zero pounds. And also, Donald Trump figured out that when the Supreme Court tells him to do something, he can just ignore them. Which is why I'm always saying the Supreme Court needs nukes. Okay? That's way more effective than that little hammer, cuz right now, it's been five days since they told Donald Trump to help bring back Kilma Garcia after they, you know, accidentally deported him to the mega prison in El Salvador. And it doesn't seem like anyone's in a rush to bring him back.

[Chris Van Hollen]

The Trump administration says it cannot return a Maryland man mistakenly deported to El Salvador. Trump officials argue that since Abrego Garcia is locked inside a prison in El Salvador, it's essentially not their problem anymore and they can't do anything about it.

[Stephen Miller]

But yesterday at the White House, Bukele said he didn't have the authority to release Garcia either.

[Ronnie T]

I don't have the power to return him to the United States. This is like every customer service call I've ever been on. Oh, I'm sorry. This is billing. You're looking for technical support. Let me transfer you. Hello? This is technical support. Oh, sorry. You need billing. Can someone just help me cancel my cable? Except for company Central, which is a vital service for American society. But the Trump administration isn't just enjoying their fun new constitutional loophole, they're also going on offense. That's why Stephen Miller, Trump advisor and Multiverse's most whiny Lex Luthor, was also on the driveway asking questions he did not want the answer to. Can anyone here tell me what would happen to the illegal alien from El Salvador if he came back from the United States? Does anyone here know? Does anyone want to guess? Any of you? He can be with his family. What? Do any of you know the answer to the question legally, what would happen if he came back here? Does any of you know? Any of you? Do you really believe the Supreme Court. I'm talking. Do you really believe the Supreme Court. I'm talking now. Doesn't think he should be. Why was it unanimous? You're done. You asked a question, man. You can't be mad that they're trying to answer you. It's like if a teacher said, okay, class, who can tell me the capital of Norway? Anyone? Anyone? Shut the up. Now. Answer the question. I said shut up. But it's not just Stephen Miller. The entire Trump administration is getting frustrated with how these dumb libs are whining about this one guy from Maryland. Oh, it's so awful. We accidentally sent a guy to the world's worst prison without trial or due process. Shut the. Okay. Because according to Homeland Security, he wasn't that great.

[Chris Van Hollen]

The media would love for you to believe that this is a media darling, that he's just some Maryland father. Well, Osama bin Laden was also a father, and yet he wasn't a good guy. And they actually are both terrorists.

[Ronnie T]

This tween influencer is right. It's the position of this administration that all fathers are basically Osama bin Laden. I mean, seriously, this guy has no criminal record at all. Uh, if he's a terrorist, he might be the worst terrorist ever. I mean, he's been in America for 14 years and hasn't done any terrorism. So maybe Trump is right. Maybe immigrants really are lazy. What? Like, what is happening here? Okay, this is America. We don't just send someone to prison without evidence. We plant the evidence on them. It's called due process. But at least one Democrat is actually gonna do something about this.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Maryland Senator Chris Van Hollen says he's.

[Ronnie T]

Considering going to El Salvador to meet with the country's president. He needs to come home.

[Chris Van Hollen]

And that is why I do intend to visit El Salvador this week to try to visit him, to let him know that we're working to bring him home.

[Ronnie T]

This is a trap. It's a trap. Do not go. This guy's gonna go there, and the prison guards are gonna be like, oh, yeah, yeah, sure, Senator. Yeah, he's right inside that cell over there. Yeah, go on in. Just all the way in the back there. Just. I mean, good for the senator for what he's doing, but it's gotta be at least a little disappointing for Garcia. He's like, uh, someone's coming to break me out of prison. Is it still team 6? Is it the guy from Prison Break with the tattoos? No, it's me. Maryland Senator Chris Van Holland. But maybe this is the beginning of a new resistance to Trump, because other people are starting to fight back wicked hard.

[Chris Van Hollen]

A showdown is now taking shape between the Trump administration and America's oldest university. The federal government announcing it will freeze more than $2 billion in grants for Harvard and $60 million in contracts after the school refused to comply with demands to limit activism on campus, eliminate its DEI programs, and make other changes.

[Ronnie T]

Holy shit. We finally found a force more powerful than Trump's hatred. Harvard's love of sending rejection letters. But look, I don't usually root for Harvard because they're Harvard. They've got everything. It's like rooting for Jeff Bezos to win the lottery. But in this case, I have to give them credit. They're standing up for their principles and for everyone's right to free speech, even if it means possible financial ruin. One of the big questions going forward, is Harvard going to dip into that $50 billion plus endowment to make up.

[Chris Van Hollen]

For that federal shortfall?

[Ronnie T]

Okay, I hate them again. But the best part about Harvard's resistance to Donald Trump is that it gives the chance to go on TV and let you know where they went to school.

[Stephen Miller]

I myself am a first generation college graduate. I graduated from Harvard. I should disclose I went to Harvard.

[Chris Van Hollen]

So I'm very familiar with the president.

[Stephen Miller]

And with how the community feels right now.

[Chris Van Hollen]

But as a Harvard alum, and you.

[Stephen Miller]

Know I am as well, I know.

[Ronnie T]

Many alums, including people I know very closely and faculty members like me.

[Lawrence O'Donnell]

I know you look really surprised because I'm wearing a tie you've never seen before. It has a little Latin word inside each one of those symbols there. The word veritas, meaning truth, of course. And this is the one night. It's a one night only appearance of this tie.

[Chris Van Hollen]

I know that that is not something that you usually billboard in the world about yourself.

[Ronnie T]

Oh, God. The only thing worse than people bragging about going to Harvard is people pretending to be embarrassed about going to Harvard. It's like, oh, my d. Darkest secret. Please don't make me tell anyone. Please. No. I went to Harvard.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Harvard har.

[Ronnie T]

Harvard. Harvard. My favorite guy is Lawrence O'Donnell. He's really embarrassed he has to talk about this. I mean, it's definitely not something he will bring up all the time over the course of many years.

[Lawrence O'Donnell]

Let me just say, confessionally, I went to Harvard College. Most of the good things that have happened to me in some way trace back to Harvard. You and I. Yeah. As Harvard Americans.

[Desi Lydich]

Yes.

[Lawrence O'Donnell]

I first heard him as a guest lecturer at Harvard. Okay, well, I got into Harvard, too. In fact, it was the only college I applied to.

[Ronnie T]

So. I know we're trying to bring people back from the El Salvador Megaprison. But do they have room for one more, by any chance? For more on Harvard's resistance to the Trump administration, let's go live to the White House with Josh Johnson. Josh, Josh, what's the latest?

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, I'll tell you the latest, Ronnie. Harvard is about to get up. I mean, do these Cambridge nerds have any idea the kind of power they're dealing with? Donald Trump is the President of the United Mother States.

[Ronnie T]

Uh, right. And. And since he's so powerful, he can also get Kilmar Garcia back from El Salvador.

[Josh Johnson]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Donald Trump doesn't have that kind of power, all right? He's only the President of the United States. That's like being a middle school principal. He doesn't even get his own parking space. You wanna put him up against the sovereign nation of El Salvador? The Salvador? Don't be crazy, man.

[Ronnie T]

Okay, okay, wait. But since when does Trump respect sovereign nations? I mean, he's been talking all month about invading Greenland, and he will.

[Josh Johnson]

Greenland belongs to America. You know why? Because Donald Trump said so. And when you're swinging around a PP as big as Donald Trump's, that's all it takes.

[Ronnie T]

Okay, so he should do that with El Salvador, with his tiny little pee pee.

[Josh Johnson]

Trump can't tell El Salvador to do that. That country is terrifying. They got a prison filled with Osama Bin Ladens. You saw what one bin Laden can do. Just think about multiple Osama's Bin Ladens.

[Ronnie T]

Okay, Josh Trump can't have it both ways, okay? How can he be fighting a trade war with China if he's so weak?

[Josh Johnson]

Who you calling weak, bitch? All right, Donald Trump has nukes. He's the biggest army in the world. They tried to shoot him and he just shook it off.

[Ronnie T]

Okay, okay, I, I, I, I, I, I think I'm getting it here. Okay, so when it comes to China, Trump is powerful.

[Josh Johnson]

He's God on Earth.

[Ronnie T]

And Canada, he's Zeus. Mars.

[Josh Johnson]

Trump spits on Mars, then he finds the biggest crater and he it.

[Ronnie T]

All right, okay, like El Salvador.

[Josh Johnson]

What do you expect him to do to El Salvador? Their president showed up wearing black on black, looking like Juan Wick. But Trump, Trump's just a scared little kid. His mom died 25 years ago. Do you know that? You wanna put that little orphan boy on a plane to El Salvador? You sick.

[Ronnie T]

Okay, I'm, I'm sorry. I guess I just don't understand the power dynamic.

[Josh Johnson]

Leave that to me, Ronnie. I'm a smart guy. I don't usually bring this up, but I Went to Harvard.

[Ronnie T]

Wait, what? Wait, you. You went to Harvard?

[Josh Johnson]

Well, to the bookstore. Did you know if you say you're gonna buy a sweatshirt, they'll let you tear up that bathroom?

[Ronnie T]

Okay, Josh Johnson, everyone. When we come back, Desi Lydich will America our respect. So don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. I have some disturbing news. America is not the only country in the world. But what do these other so called countries think of America? To find out, we turn to Desi Lydich.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Oh, respect. We all learned how to spell it from that song. Hot T O G O. Find out what it means to me. The scale of respect can go from as high as old Kanye to as low as current Kanye. It's a wide spectrum. And during his campaign, Donald Trump promised that America would be climbing the respect charts again.

[Ronnie T]

Under my leadership, America soon will be respected again. Very quickly respected like never before. America will be respected again and admired again. If we win, America will be feared and respected again.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Oh yeah. Remember Trump's garbage era when he wore a garbage costume and drove up in a garbage truck like yum yum, yum yum yum trash. Anyway, he's going to get us respected again. And there's nothing the world respects more than a good old fashioned trade war. So now that we're a few weeks into it, let's see how that's going over with the rest of the world, starting with China.

[Ronnie T]

So if the United States wants to go in that direction of completely shutting itself out of the China market, be my guest.

[Stephen Miller]

Yeah, and China will lose the US.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Market, which, as I've said, is 15.

[Ronnie T]

We don't care. We don't wait on camp.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Damn, I didn't know China also manufactured catty bitches. Woo. I get it. I get it. Understandably, they're angry at us, but the important thing is that they respect us. A viral AI generated video is making fun of US China trade relations as tensions escalate. Trump and Elon Musk and J.D. vance making Nike sneakers. There are also viral videos of Trump sitting behind a sewing machine in a factory. All of this ripe on Chinese social media. Wow, this is scary. I did not think AI had the power to show Donald Trump doing skilled labor, but okay. Who cares if China doesn't respect us? They're only like a quarter of the people on earth. That's not even half. I'm sure the rest of the world is bowing down to the U.S. what about you, France? Vouli vous couche respect moi cestoir. In France, Emmanuel Macron called the tariffs brutal and unfounded.

[Desi Lydich]

A town in France has replaced Coca Cola with apple juice at municipal events.

[Stephen Miller]

A boycott of Coca Cola.

[Desi Lydich]

We need to punish Mr. Trump a little bit.

[Stephen Miller]

They will content themselves with the Statue of Liberty on the Quai descent in Paris. These French people will not set foot in the United States as long as Donald Trump is in power.

[Ronnie T]

I don't want to, although I love America and I've been before. But this time that's a no.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Hold on. France had a second Statue of Liberty on the side this whole time. That's the most French thing I've ever hear. But fine, fine. The French are hard to please. What about other, more easygoing European nations like Italy, for example? Maybe they're showing respect to American officials.

[Lawrence O'Donnell]

I think Musk should be placed under a mandatory psychiatric hold. This guy has 13 to 15 children around the world. He's a junkie, a nutcase. Come on.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. You can't talk about Musk like that. You're not one of his kids. Although statistically, you might be. Wait, am I? Who cares what Europe thinks? With their delicious foods and generous paid parental leave. Sometimes it's your closest friends and neighbors that see the best in you. Like our syrup sommeliers in Canada. Sure, we put an economically crippling tariff on. But we're still friends, right? Give us some of that friendly respect.

[Lawrence O'Donnell]

You'Re known for in a country known for its politeness. This morning, growing outrage.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Many of them now boycotting American goods and travel.

[Ronnie T]

Here.

[Lawrence O'Donnell]

This is my last bag of American product. Social media erupting with calls to buy Canadian and boycott usa so you can.

[Ronnie T]

Bye bye America and you can buy Canadian. Love that flag for.

[Chris Van Hollen]

You've even got Canadian morning shows being mean to us. Keep in mind the rest of that show is just the co host apologizing that the weather isn't nicer. Guys, we even lost Canada. Is there anyone in the world that still respects us?

[Ronnie T]

These are not actions one does to a friend.

[Chris Van Hollen]

Totally unnecessary and stupid.

[Stephen Miller]

The madness of a mentally ill man.

[Chris Van Hollen]

The biggest assault we have seen since the end of the Second World War.

[Ronnie T]

The mess they use is dumbass.

[Desi Lydich]

They've been calculated in a way that makes back of the envelope Crayola crayon scrawlings look like the work of Isaac Newton.

[Chris Van Hollen]

That felt like going through It's a Small world, but all those puppet children are telling us to right off. So there you have it. Donald Trump promised we'd be respected like never before. And technically, we have reached never before. Seen levels of respect. So that's why this week I'm ranking America's respectiveness at stepmom who insists we call her mom, but we're still gonna call her Joyce. Better luck next round, America.

[Ronnie T]

Thank you, Desi. When we come back, another Desi Nimesh Patel will be joining me on the show, so don't way. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is an Emmy nominated writer and comedian who will be out on the road soon with a new stand up comedy tour. Please welcome. My good friend is Nemes Patel. Welcome. Look at us, two guys on tv.

[Desi Lydich]

Chang, everybody. Man.

[Ronnie T]

So people don't know. It's when I came to New York City as a civilian in 2011 and I, I wasn't living in America even. I came over and I came to New York City for the first time and I was trying to do standup comedy in New York City and I went to open mic night and there was three people at this open mic night. One of them was like some white dude, some other dude.

[Desi Lydich]

Forgettable.

[Ronnie T]

Yeah, forgettable. The third person was you. And you hosted the show and you gave me some stage time.

[Desi Lydich]

And now here we are.

[Ronnie T]

And here we are.

[Desi Lydich]

Yeah, I'm so.

[Ronnie T]

And you. And we did the show. We did the show and you were super nice to me and you treat. You didn't care that I had an accent. You didn't treat me like some, you know, Foreigner. Which is more than I thought it.

[Desi Lydich]

I thought it.

[Ronnie T]

Which is more than I can say for the last Indian guy who was on this show. So thanks for being a cool person.

[Desi Lydich]

I'm here for his spot. I've been on the road for so long. It's so good to be back in New York. I was on the way here and this is true. I was with my Indian friend, we were walking and this homeless guy goes, look at these two computers. And I miss that kind of racism.

[Ronnie T]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydich]

It's just like you ever want to control all delete a homeless guy? Like what the is he talking about?

[Ronnie T]

Yeah. But even though homeless guys in New York know what's up.

[Desi Lydich]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie T]

They know enough to be specific with the racism.

[Desi Lydich]

What were you when, when we met in 2011.

[Ronnie T]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydich]

You were ex law school.

[Ronnie T]

I was still in law school. Uh huh. I was, I was studying for the bar exam. And you were at nyu.

[Desi Lydich]

I was a fine. I had just graduated two years from graduating at NYU as a pre med finance. I was pre med finance.

[Ronnie T]

Pre med finance. Why are you cheering that?

[Desi Lydich]

None of them worked out.

[Ronnie T]

Dude. Pre med finance is like the most. Pick a side.

[Desi Lydich]

I wanted to be like this evil private equity manager doctor.

[Ronnie T]

You want to be a private equity doctor?

[Desi Lydich]

When I joined nyu, I was gung ho on being a cardiac pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon.

[Ronnie T]

Sorry. I love that. Pre med finance.

[Desi Lydich]

Yeah.

[Ronnie T]

Is like, I can't decide whether I want to help people or kill people.

[Desi Lydich]

But it was definitely. There was definitely some good intent. And then I saw all my finance friends, like, oh, yeah, that seems fun. Being evil seems fun. But I was. I was gung ho on being a pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon. And then I got a C plus in organic chemistry as a those kids. And I'll never forget it. I'm sure you have a moment where, like, you called your parents, like, I'm not doing law school anymore.

[Ronnie T]

No, I never told you.

[Desi Lydich]

You never told them?

[Ronnie T]

They still don't know, to be honest.

[Desi Lydich]

You looked apart. Yeah, I called my mom. I called my mom. I said, mom, I'm dropping pre med. And she screamed. I've never heard her scream that loud since. Like, someone, like, she screamed as if someone told her I was dead. And she was like, what we pay for? You go to school, this is how you repay us? You're gonna end up running a liquor store just like your dad. And my dad's in the corner like the did I do, man, and then.

[Ronnie T]

Try to support my family.

[Desi Lydich]

And then I did finance, and I graduated in 08 with a finance degree. And that obviously did not work out. But the problem is, like, now all my friends are finance millionaires. And I still think I could do finance. Like, I still think I know math.

[Ronnie T]

You're not alone. Everyone thinks. Apparently everyone in America thinks they can do finance.

[Desi Lydich]

And I, I learned that I should just stick to jokes. Cause I was out to dinner with all my friends, hedge fund guy, one of the good ones. And he's telling me he was up like, he's managing $10 billion and he's up 70% on the year. I'm like, you're up $700 million. He's like, no, man, that's $7 billion. Like, oh, yeah, I'll stick to the jokes.

[Ronnie T]

Okay. Yeah. So what's going on with Indians and magazines.

[Desi Lydich]

As the Indian representative?

[Ronnie T]

No, look, I mean, there is something interesting.

[Desi Lydich]

That's Trump's DEI Indian people. The dick eating Indians. Dude, there's so many. There's so many Indians that love Donald Trump. Like Vivek Ramaswamy. Yeah, some Indians. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie T]

Another Harvard guy.

[Desi Lydich]

Was he a Harvard guy?

[Ronnie T]

I'm pretty sure he's a Harvard guy.

[Desi Lydich]

I mean, what a herb. That's a. If you don't know what a herb is. A herb is what we called people in the 90s when they were being herbs. Like he's. He's a herb. He ran for president and lost, obviously. And he ran for president. And his main thing was his opening line was God is real. Why did he make you 5 foot 7? Vivek. That's the guy. I don't know if he's 5 7, but he has 57 energy. And then I won't say his name again because if you say it more than three times, he just pops up.

[Ronnie T]

Yeah, he pops up under the desk.

[Desi Lydich]

Let's end affirmative action, guys. All right, dude. And then there's Usha Vance.

[Ronnie T]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydich]

Who I'm praying for. I'm hoping she has Stockholm syndrome because otherwise why is she with J.D. vance? She has to. And then, and then, of course, of course, the king, Kash Patel. If you don't. I'm not saying shit about Cash Patel. I'm not trying to get one of these one way tickets to El Salvador, you know.

[Ronnie T]

But everyone else was fair game.

[Desi Lydich]

If you know, if you don't know Cash Patel, you guys don't seem that concerned. But every Indian knows Cash Patel. But if you don't know him, he's the director of the FBI and people don't seem worried about him. But his real name is Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel. He grew up in racist ass Long island with the name Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel. He is out for revenge. You should be very concerned. I'm not a man, I'm not a fan of the guy's politics, but if I get pulled over, that is my cousin for sure. You don't see the resemblance? That's me, dude.

[Ronnie T]

All right, well, you're going on tour. Stand up tour soon. Can you tell us about the tour?

[Desi Lydich]

I am going on tour soon. It's either. I mean, I need money.

[Ronnie T]

Okay.

[Desi Lydich]

Like, I just had a kid and. Congratulations, you father.

[Ronnie T]

Thank you.

[Desi Lydich]

She is. She's the biggest tariff on my life.

[Ronnie T]

How old? How old is that?

[Desi Lydich]

She's six months old.

[Ronnie T]

Oh, new baby.

[Desi Lydich]

She's fantastic. Putting her hands to work right away. She's busy making a phone right now.

[Ronnie T]

Okay, but in America.

[Desi Lydich]

But in America. Of course. But like, it's either that or commit white collar crime. Like I need to tour or commit white collar crime. Doesn't seem like a ripe time to commit white collar Crime.

[Ronnie T]

This is the golden age.

[Desi Lydich]

This is like, we should be embezzling. We should be ponziing right now. We are.

[Ronnie T]

We are.

[Desi Lydich]

How do you. Insider trade. I need to learn.

[Ronnie T]

Insider trading has become very open now. You just.

[Desi Lydich]

You.

[Ronnie T]

Basically all you need to do is join Truth Social.

[Desi Lydich]

Yeah.

[Ronnie T]

And you can get a few good tips on that platform.

[Desi Lydich]

You can't commit an SEC violation if the SEC doesn't exist. You know what I mean? So, yeah, let's steal. No, no, but it's. So I'm touring. I'm going to. Like.

[Ronnie T]

That was a step too far. We don't mind the racism, but don't. Don't just disrespect the sec.

[Desi Lydich]

Yeah, yeah. Our Robin Hoods are safe. No, I'm going on tour. I'm going to, like, a bunch of. I'm starting at a bunch of clubs because you know how it is. You got to build the set at a bunch of clubs, talk a bunch of crash out. Yeah. And then.

[Ronnie T]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydich]

Oh, some. Some young people in the room.

[Ronnie T]

Good.

[Desi Lydich]

Crashing out, sir, is when you say some shit that you shouldn't say. I'm gonna be. I'm doing that at a lot of. I'm not gonna go full Kanye, but.

[Ronnie T]

I think this whole interview has been a definition. It's a dictionary term for it being loose.

[Desi Lydich]

Crashing out.

[Ronnie T]

Hey, listen, Dimen, thank you so much. Thank you so much for being my first friend in America. Thanks for always being very cool to me.

[Desi Lydich]

Thank you.

[Ronnie T]

Even though I came all the way from Australia at the time, you didn't treat me like a foreigner, and I'm very happy to be your friend here. Thanks.

[Desi Lydich]

Thank you, brother.

[Ronnie T]

Love you, man.

[Desi Lydich]

Thank you very much.

[Ronnie T]

Nice day. Nimes's tours hitting clubs and theaters right now. Go to his website, findingmesh.com for tickets. It's newest for everybody. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back after. That's our show for tonight. Now here it is, the moment of Zen. You have had President Bryan at Harvard.

[Desi Lydich]

Do the same thing. I think right now, the universities need.

[Ronnie T]

To find some courage.

[Desi Lydich]

Our law firms need to find some courage.

[Ronnie T]

There are things that matter more than.

[Desi Lydich]

Simply the size of one's endowment in.

[Ronnie T]

Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus Paramount Podcasts.

[Stephen Miller]

At Energy Trust of Oregon, we understand that energy isn't just what happens when you flip a switch. It's what happens afterwards. It's a home that can provide both shelter and peace of mind. It's a business that can run more efficiently and keep their dream alive. And it's communities that can thrive today and flourish tomorrow. That's energy. And that's why we partner with local utility companies to help you save energy and lower costs. For cash incentives and resources that can help power your life, visit energytrust.org.