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Every morning brings a fresh new energy. And no matter what the day holds, we come to the Today show for all of it. We get the best start to the day because we started together. Watch the Today show weekdays at 7am on NBC. You know that feeling when you're about to score 30% off but they want your number? Ugh. Give them your line 2 number instead. It's a second line on your phone, perfect for nabbing promo codes without inviting spam to your party. Sign up for every discount under the sun, then block the junk texts that follow. You get all the perks, but none of the spammy baggage. More codes, less chaos. Visit line2.com audio or download line2 in the app Store and get your shopping sidekick today. Because the only thing blowing up your phone should be good deals. You're listening to Comedy Central. Human touch. Is it a good thing? Some people crave it Weird. And now it's easy. Easier than ever for them to get it. One of those booming businesses, professional cuddling. Christy is actually a professional cuddler and Josh is her client. A lot of times people are just looking for someone to just spend some time with. As one who goes through life avoiding human contact, I wasn't thrilled about meeting someone who made a living from touching other people. I have to admit, it does sound a bit scammy. Seems like you're just ripping off people who've never heard of a body pillow. It is not just about the physical act of cuddling. The body pillow cannot talk to you. Right. I would see the fact that my pillows can't talk back to me as an asset. I totally understand that, but we have a code of conduct. We talk a lot about consent. And how does one become a cuddleist? Do you need a degree like a physical therapist, or is it like a fake certification, like a sandwich artist? It is fine to be skeptical, but when you have nurturing touch that is very much wanted, your level of oxytocin increases in your body. You're flooded with these wonderful feel good, love hormones. So touch deprivation is linked to a lot of things. It can be linked to impulsiveness, anxiety, stress, and low job performance. Troy, that's amazing. That's fascinating. What? It seems like you might be a good candidate for professional cuddling. I'm fine. How do you deal with stress and anxiety? I deal with it like most normal humans do. I think there are probably healthier ways you can deal with your anxiety. Okay, well, my self therapy is free and only requires a nearby abandoned warehouse. Whereas these cuddle sessions could cost anywhere from 80 to $150. Who would pay for that? I've been a cuddle client for about two years now. What type of responses do you get when you tell people that you're a cuddle client? Why would you do that? Is it safe? Is there sex involved? I thought that. Yeah, I've gotten desperate. Are you horny? Are you single? If so, none of the above. So you are in a relationship? I am. So what was your partner's reaction? My partner said, is there something that's lacking here? And the answer was absolutely not. It was more about self care. Now what are the benefits? You know, other than getting rid of all that extra money in your bank account? I just feel more personally resourced, cared for. Why cuddling when there are so many other obvious ways to deal with your emotions? Like what? Why don't you come observe a session? Okay. How long does this normally? This is going to go for about an hour. Quietly, silently. Oh, for God's sake. I need quiet. I'm not even here. Hi, it's me again. So just to confirm there's nothing sexual like happening here, would you like to just sit down and ask some questions? Absolutely. I would really enjoy that. Oh, okay. Thank you so much for that. Up and close VIP splash zone. Could you explain how you can participate in something so intimate without wanting to take it a step further? The most important thing is that if at any point she is uncomfortable, that she will let me know. If I'm uncomfortable. I will let her know. So how do we break down the stigma and negative connotations for all those closed minded oafs? I think we normalize it by talking about it and just letting people know that there's something that they may not have considered. You could try a cuddle session. Okay. All right. Well just. No. No. Right. This is just my session. You should book a session. Okay. Exactly. Okay. I needed a moment before I willingly spooned a stranger. I do. See there are benefits and I have been stressed. We've got climate change, race relations, people drinking orange juice with pulp. Just eat an orange. But it doesn't mean I have intimacy issues. Okay, maybe there is some stuff I need to work on. Bernadette does seem at peace. And what's the worst that could happen? I get a well needed nap. Hey, who the are you? Get out of my house. It was cuddled time. This is amazing. Is it going to cost extra if I like, open up the floodgates a little bit? Not at all. D why? Why'd you let me Quit piano lessons. The cuddlists were right. I felt transformed and my hormones were flying high. I was a new man ready to embrace the world through cuddles. Everyone is talking about the hottest new form of inflation. Tipflation. Americans are suffering from so called tipflation. Now it's being encouraged for a growing number of services from restaurants to cafes and even self checkout kiosks. Tipping is so hot, even the president elect is talking about it. When I get to office, we are going to not charge taxes on tips. And I don't know about you, but personally it's been stressing me out. This barista relies on tits. You don't think they deserve a fair wage. You don't deserve coffee. You don't deserve a I don't deserve coffee. So I needed to hear if anyone else is stressed about the uptick in tipping requests and if they're dehydrated from crying too. It's a little much where you go somewhere and you're seeing tip jars at grocery stores. Anywhere that I go to get lunch or coffee nowadays has like an automatic tipping option. The biggest thing is like the lowest percentage just keeps getting higher. I saw even a tip system at a plant store. What have the plants done for us besides give us air to breathe? Yeah, it looks like almost everyone not getting tips agrees about tipping. But do these hospitality workers notice tipping popping up everywhere? It is everywhere. I'm waiting for the MTA now workers to be asking for a tip just hanging out the fire with their hand down. Here's your stop. And by the way, do you have any theory as to why that's happening? People need to live. People are struggling. We see it across the nation right now with so many different industries. All right, so everyone agrees tipping is popping up everywhere and it sucks. So why not cancel the tip? We don't make enough. So we look for the tip to like all come together and make up for what we're not getting by the hour. And plus, people need to realize that when you're tipping the waiter or the waitress, they also are paying out bussers and bartenders that need to be tipped from that tip that you're leaving as well. Right? It's clear tipping is overwhelming, but how do we escape it? And then I found it. Lula Cafe, a tip free haven where all the employees had healthcare and no one carried the decimal point. They just carried food to the table. So I sat down with owner Jason Hamill to hear how he ran a restaurant without tips. Well, we actually do still accept tips. At lula, we do well, Dan. We employ a dual system of a service charge and tips. Our system takes the reliance on tips away, so there's more pay equity. But, you know, we're pretty busy, like, sizable restaurants to create that sustainability. But, like, if you're smaller, maybe it doesn't work for you. Okay, I'm running out of ideas, but the president elect did say something. Oh, right, he was gonna get rid of taxes on tips. I think just putting that little bit of money back in their pockets isn't such a bad thing. I think that's theirs. If there shouldn't be tax on it. Love it. Wholeheartedly agree, 100% love. Wow, that was easy. So we just stopped taxing tips. No problems whatsoever. It does feel kind of like it'll incentivize companies to have more tip workers or workers that rely more on tips than actually the company's paying. Do you think if there was no federal tax on tips, people would get their entire paycheck in tips? I mean, that's certainly a concern. Ugh. Back to square one. What else you got? It'd be nice if they just raised the minimum wage. It would just be the servers get to keep their actual tips. But also, I think that it's a much bigger issue overall. The federal minimum wage needs to be raised. Easy. Problem solved. You know, when people that aren't in the industry are talking about it, they're like, well, the owner should just pay them more. But also, the food service industry, like, the margins are incredibly thin. Yeah, it'd be really nice to pay someone $45 an hour, but unfortunately, that would shut down most places. Don't you think that politicians could solve this by just raising the minimum wage? Sure. And maybe some health care and. Yeah, that could be good. Yeah, the health care part would be really good. Yeah, there's a lot of time here. But, you know, we're not here to talk about health care. Well, okay, so tipping is everywhere more than ever, but people need tips to make a living because minimum wage is so low and taxing tips is bad. But we need to raise the minimum wage first so companies don't resort to paying the tipped minimum on even more jobs, which could result in tipped employees needing the consumer to tip more so they can make a living, which will result in tipping being everywhere more than ever. So how much do I tip to make sure no one starves? It's all on me. Are you okay? Do I look okay? My big takeaway. I still don't know how much to tip. Thank you so much for speaking with me. I don't know what 20% or 20, 25 or 18. I don't, I don't know how much. You can just go ahead and give us the wallet. We'll take care of it. Just give us your wallet. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have your assistance assistance. Switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full terms@mintmobile.com Some matches are temporary, but your privacy shouldn't be. With line two you get a second phone line just for dating. No need to share your personal number until you're ready. You can chat, text and even block numbers. All while keeping things fun, private. It's perfect for online dating, blind dates or just keeping things light. When you're ready to move on. Line two lets you cut ties without any drama. Dating should be fun and carefree. Line two keeps it that way. Ready to date on your terms. Visit lineto.comaudio or download line 2 in the app Store today. In this election, Republicans have their ride or die candidate who they want to be president forever. And Democrats, they also have a guy. So the best way to get something done if you if it holds near and dear to you that you like to be able to anyway, four more years. Joe Biden has an enthusiasm problem. The polling shows that Democrats are not enthused Joe Biden Democrats are not excited. But maybe we in the media are out of touch. I hit the streets to ask what do voters really think of Joe Biden? Not the most excited. I mean it's okay. I wish I was more excited. On a scale of 1 to 10, probably somewhere around a 2 or 3. How would you compare that to say seeing some really beautiful latte art? I would put that maybe as a five. Could you point on this graph how you feel about voting for Joe Biden? Okay, some pain. But if you couldn't tell by the stick and poke tattoos and Warby Parker glasses, these people were all Democrats. There must be something they like about Joe Biden. He's a big ice cream guy. Can't vote against that. What do you think his Favorite flavor is vanilla. 100%. Oh, my God. It's gotta be Superman. You know, he's our president. He's our president. Yeah. Slap that on a T shirt, I love it. I expect him to kind of behave like a president as opposed to, like, child. He definitely is not a child. But then I found one person whose passion whelmed me. On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you about voting for Joe Biden? 11. 11. Oh, my God. Is this Joe. Joe Biden, or is this like, the famous corgi on Instagram named Joe Biden that I'm not aware of? Joseph Robinette Biden. I didn't even know there was his full name. Junior. Oh, my God. There's an older one. Wow. Who was this guy? Against my better judgment, I followed him to his car. Oh, my God. Oh, okay. It's a cardboard cutout. Before I get in your car, I have to ask. This isn't a sex thing, right? It is not. Okay, good. Yeah, I didn't think so. Yeah. Oh. Oh, my God, you have Kamala, too. Do you have the whole cabinet in there? Where's your cutout of acting Labor Secretary Julie Hsu? Julie. Julie, Meet Dakota Galvin, Joe Biden's biggest and only super fan. Could he hold the key to helping Biden defeat Donald Trump and his MAGA army? Trump has this huge fan club of tens of thousands of really intense weirdos, and Biden has you. Why do you think that is? There's sort of like a cult mentality going on there. I think they have an unnatural devotion to a single person. Right. Cult like devotion to one man. Am I right? Okay, let's talk about the cardboard cutout. Why do you keep them in? You're drunk. Don't you want to just see him in the morning and say, what's up, Joe? Well, my boyfriend isn't as. He's less enthusiastic. Oh, my God. Having him watch us at all times. Oh, my God, you have a boyfriend? I do. Okay, setting aside the question of whether the boyfriend was also a cardboard cutout, when did Dakota first realize he was Biden? Curious. I was a senior in high school in 2012, and I had just come out of the closet, and Joe Biden had announced his support for marriage equality. And you thought to yourself, he's a little young right now to be president, but maybe in eight years he'll be ready. At the time, not so much. But this man literally came out of retirement to save our country from white supremacists and fascism. Do you like him? More now than when he was just Obama's white friend? Absolutely. Oh, that's a strong endorsement at a time when Joe Biden is so unpopular that somehow hating him is uniting pro Israel and pro Palestine protesters. So what does Dakota see in this guy? Is it his swag? His whispery voice? What's left of his hair? Mostly his policies. There's so many to choose from. Really? Wow. See, I can't even think of any. So go off. I would think when he came into office, he immediately got to work with the American Rescue plan. He followed it up with the Bipartisan Infrastructure Act. The Chips and Science Act. The Chips and Salsa Act. Chips and Science. Oh. You know, maybe we need to make policy more, but I think you're right. There was his 80th birthday when he had all the candles on his couch. Yeah, I guess we can have fun with glaring reminders of his age. Turns out the things that get Dakota excited are different from other voters. What did he think their problem was? Well, he is an older, straight, white gentleman, and in Democratic circles, that's usually not what gets us excited. You know, I don't think there's anything we can do about his oldness or his whiteness, but do you think he would consider exploring his sexuality? Oh, gosh, yeah, sure. Joe Biden. Tumblr fan fiction aside, could Dakota get Democrats fired up about Biden? Ooh, not like that. I'm going to pretend to be someone who's not overly enthused to vote for Joe Biden, and I want you to convince me. All right. Yeah. Okay. I'm ready. Do you love living in a democracy? Yes. Oh, my gosh. I've got the perfect candidate for you to vote for. Who is it? It's the current president, Joe Biden. Oh. Well, you know, it's a vote for normalcy, insanity, and, you know, keeping the institutions that have built our constitutional republic for centuries, keeping things the same as they are now with minor improvements. With minor improvements. I mean, I guess one thing that's good about Biden is he doesn't have the baggage, you know, say that Hillary has. You know, I love Hillary. Come on. Maybe I've been focusing on the wrong thing. Maybe it isn't the voters that need the pep talk. It's Joe Biden. And Dakota has some advice that will shake the political landscape forever. I would say keep doing what you're doing, but do it better. Yeah. Way to pump him up. Well, there's always 2028. Seriously, can I please sit in the front? No, I'm sorry. Like most presidential elections, this election will be determined by disengaged working class independent voters from a few Midwest states. So I'm at a gathering of such voters in Thornville, Ohio. Okay, so it's 2024. We have a very exciting presidential election coming up. Very exciting. Everyone's really, really happy about it. Who are you voting for? Nobody. I'm Saudi. None of you vote for? No. Are you gonna vote? Hell no. Why don't you plan to vote? Because like you're voting for two people who pretty much doesn't care about your existence. Like there's nothing has been improving for us low income people. It's been shit. I have never voted in my life. I never will vote. Juggalos don't get involved in politics. Yes, this is the gathering of the Juggalos, a music festival where young people in America's heartland explore new frontiers in fashion, self care and the arts while enjoying the music of Insane Clown Posse and other popular acts of the murder clown genre. These tens of thousands of disengaged youths could be a powerful voting block if only a political party would address the issues they care about 100%. I believe global warming is real, man. It gets hotter and hotter and hotter to go through the summers. I know it's 9am and you already have your shirt off. How do you feel about cutting taxes for billionaires? Yes, I think billionaires should pay more taxes. In a way, they're sociopathic clowns legalizing drugs, trans rights being pro choice, women's rights. I think our ethos are based upon however you want to be. You want to be a killer clown. If you want to be a trans killer clown, by all means, please do. I'm really glad that the killer clown community has opened up to the trans community as well. And there's one policy preference the Jugglettes feel especially strongly about. Abortions. That's women. That's our body. No one has control over that but us. We don't want to keep getting nutted in having babies all the time like I will be. I like to be child free in my 20s. I'm gonna put that on a T shirt by the way. Yeah. Oh, that'd be a killer T shirt. Unsurprisingly, the Chuggos were interested in a third party candidate and their pick turned out to be more politically viable than RFK junior. The world would be a much better place in my opinion, if there was a Juggalo in the way. I think the clouds would turn pink if a Juggalo came in. Honestly, I like how Violent J's mindset works. Okay. Yeah. Or Shaggy 2 Dope. I'd have them up in the White House. I'd say Shaggy as president and then Violent J as second. Then that makes sense too, because President Violent J might scare some people. Of course, the Juggalos would want one of their own in the White House. So I put on my best Juggalo formal wear to find out if Violent J himself would accept the nomination. That no. No amount of money. You gotta go places. Yeah. They give you an itinerary. You gotta get up all early. And that's the number one qualification of the president. You have to get up early. Even though Violent J refused the mandate of commander in Chief, he had clear policy preferences on everything from mass deportation up. Now I remember why I hated Trump. That wall to women's rights. They have the right to be the environmental conservation. We think we're the superior animal on this planet. Right. Let me tell you what the superior animal is. A whale. It's the biggest. And progressive taxation. My mom said the Democrats basically are saying, less taxes on the poor, more taxes on the rich. I'm assuming you pay taxes up the anus. And I'm happy about it. I pay double what they ask. I was starting to get a sense of where Violent Jay stood on the issues. But did the head of the Insane Clown Nation see himself in any of the candidates to lead our Insane Clown Nation? A little pussy hole. Ish. On the fact that he refused to paint his beard. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's a pussy because he didn't paint his beard a pussy hole. What about good old DT him? Okay. Because he's all about that wall. All right, this is Tim Walls. This is Kamala Harris, vp. Who? Kamala Harris. This is her vp Vice president. Yeah, I'm absolutely opinionless. Okay on that, man. All right, last we have Kamala. I want her to win because she's a Democrat and I love my mom. Okay. I see it. Right? That's a beautiful sentiment. Yeah. How do you say her first name? Kamala. Kamala. Yeah, Kamala. Like, Kamala. That's fresh. Sorry, man. The mushrooms are kicking in. Oh, sure, sure. I forgot mine. So Violent J is backing Harry. See, not all Juggalos are sitting this election out now. What are the odds he's gonna remember to vote on November 5th? That's what I'm saying. What in the. Thank you. I love you. Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus Paramount Podcasts. Some matches are temporary, but your privacy shouldn't be. With Line two, you get a second phone line just for dating. No need to share your personal number until you're ready. You can chat, text, and even block numbers, all while keeping things fun and private. It's perfect for online dating, blind dates, or just keeping things light. When you're ready to move on, Line two lets you cut ties without any drama. Dating should be fun and carefree. Line two keeps it that way. Ready to date on Your terms? Visit line2.comaudio or download line2 in the app Store today.
