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Michael Kosta
Spring fest is happening now at Lowe's. Keep the spotlight on your yard with stay green premium 2 cubic foot mulch. 5 bags for $10. Plus when you want more help indoors, get up to 40% off. Select major appliances that help you supercharge your chores. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid to 422 while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See lowe's.com for details. Mold chopper excludes Alaska and Hawaii. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, Desi Lyman. Jessica's Daily Show.
Jesse Lydic
I'm Jesse Lydic. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Lindsey Graham is a Disney princess, Major League Baseball is giving you a stomach ache. And Pete Hegseth gives a speech that makes you hope he's drinking again. So let's get into the headlines. Let's kick things off with Kristi Noem, former Secretary of Homeland Security and the inciting incident in All Dogs Go to Heaven. She's had a bad time recently. She lost her job. We found out about her affair and how it happened on a taxpayer funded plane. She really needs to just lay low and stay out of the headlines. Sorry, what's that? Former Homeland Security chief Kristi Noem is said to be stunned by reports that
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her husband may be leading a cross dressing double life. According to the Daily Mail, Noem's 56 year old husband Brian is a secret cross dresser who wears gigantic fake boobs and wears pink hot pants while he chats online with fetish models who have gigantic breasts.
Jesse Lydic
I can't believe the lady banging her employee on a plane is the less messy one in their marriage. You know what? You live your truth, Brian. Oh, she can dress up and you can't that. You know what. If she had an affair, you have a free pass. You can do whatever you want. I support you and your beautiful lazy eyed balloon nipples. Truly, I have never felt more seen. You know what they say sometimes. They're sisters, not twins. Let's move on to a different type of inflation, the one at the gas pump.
Roy Chang
All right, the breaking news this morning, gas prices in the United States now higher than $4 a gallon for the first time since 2022. Part of the reason, basically, the full closure of the Strait of Hormuz. Almost no oil has passed out over the last month.
Julio Torres
Yeah, this sucks.
Roy Chang
We're supposed to be drill, baby, drill. We're supposed to be self sufficient. So how is the gas prices going up?
Michael Kosta
It's too expensive, Poppy. You know, I might buy me a horse or something.
Jesse Lydic
Yes, that, sir, is a great idea. Horses drink much less gasoline, by the way. This is how much Americans hate Teslas now. They're just like, how do I stop using so much gas? Maybe a horse. It doesn't matter how many horses we buy. Oil prices won't come down until the Strait of Hormuz is as open as Kristi Noem's marriage. President Trump, it was your stupid war that closed it in the first place. Do you have any suggestions for how to open it back up?
Roy Chang
All of those countries that can't get jet fuel because of the Strait of Hormuz. I have a suggestion for you. Build up some delayed courage, go to the Strait and just take it. You'll have to start learning how to fight for yourselves. Go get your own oil.
Jesse Lydic
So just to get this straight, you started a war that caused the Strait of Hormuz to be closed, and now you want someone else to figure out how to open it? It's the Middle East. It's not a toilet in the second floor office bathroom. If you clogged it, it's your job to unclog it. Unless. Unless no one saw you go in. And then you blame it on Michael. You know what? Forget him. Maybe someone else can help us figure out exactly what's going on with this war. Pete Hegseth, you're smarter than Donald Trump. Well, you're more qualified than Donald. Well, you're. You're not Donald Trump. So what's your take?
Roy Chang
This new regime, because regime change has occurred, should be wiser than the last.
Jesse Lydic
Wait. New regime? You killed the ayatollah, and they replaced him with an even more hardline son. That is the opposite of regime change. That is regime maxing. Please, Please give us a plan. You were in the region this weekend. What did you see?
Roy Chang
I had a chance to bear witness, and I witnessed the best of America.
Jesse Lydic
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Pete, don't try to be poetic.
Roy Chang
Don't do that in my Mind's eye. I'm actually looking out at the groups I met this weekend. Those maintainers who we walked up at sunset with the chill and the air on the flight line. I met a junior airman as the sun was going down and a chill was setting on the tarmac. I did the same with his boss. A colonel with a heart the size of Texas and a beautiful deployment mustache to match.
Jesse Lydic
Kind of got weirdly horny at the end. A heart the size of Texas, an ass as tight as Idaho, and a penis the shape of Rhode Island. Okay, you know what? Forget Peter. I know who can help us figure out this war. Lindsey Graham, Senator from South Carolina and living Confederate monument. Because when I tell you that he has been wanting to go to war for a long time, I mean, a
Roy Chang
long time, I would urge President Trump to go all in to make sure that when this operation is over, there's nothing left standing in Iran regarding their nuclear program. We're going to blow up all your oil refineries, hit Iran, blow it off the map. Don't underrate killing them all. That gets everybody's attention.
Jesse Lydic
I don't know.
Roy Chang
It is now time for them to pay a price. We'll use military force, destroy the Air Force, sink their Navy. We need to look at military options. We should destroy their ability to make conventional war. I think it's better to use military force than it is to allow them to have a nuclear weapon. The most dangerous thing in the world, in my opinion, would be the regime in Iran possessing a nuclear weapon. And if military force is necessary, then so be it.
Jesse Lydic
Wow. Okay. He's been going after Iran since before I was even born. Don't Google it. Don't Google it. Seriously, Graham is more excited about blowing things up than Kristi Noem's husband. Point is, surely this guy knows what's going on with this war. In fact, he's probably still sitting in the Situation Room as we speak.
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Republican Senator Lindsey Graham spotted by TMZ at Disney World. You can see him carrying a bubble wand at the Magic Kingdom, dining at
Jesse Lydic
Chef Mickey's, and even in line to ride Space Mountain. Are you kidding me? Lindsey Graham went to Disney World? I know going to war with Iran was important to him, but I didn't know it was his Super Bowl. By the way, for any jets fans out there, the winning team at the super bowl traditionally goes to Disney World. Oh, also, the super bowl is the last game of an NFL season. You know what? We don't have time for all this. I'm sure he was there to do all the normal things adults do at Disney World, like eating your body weight in dippin dots or showing your boobs on Splash Mountain. Or maybe he went to see that new Olaf robot that everyone's talking about.
Michael Kosta
Olaf the animatronic here at Disney. It currently had its first public malfunction.
Roy Chang
Just dropping back.
Jesse Lydic
I can't believe Mitch McConnell was also at Disney. What are the odds? But if you're angry that Lindsey Graham is at the Magic Kingdom while the country is in a war he pushed for, don't worry. He has an almost plausible explanation.
Roy Chang
He says, look, I was in Florida because I had a meeting with Steve Witkoff, one of President Trump's people, where
Julio Torres
they were talking about normaling relations between Saudi and Israel.
Roy Chang
He was in Florida on meetings and just decided to swing by Disney World.
Jesse Lydic
Just decided to swing by Disney World? No, it is impossible to swing by Disney World. Oh, babe, I'm just gonna swing by Disney World. Want me to pick you up a $30 turkey? I'll be back in three days. No. Going to Disney without a serious plan would be like, I don't know, attacking Iran without a serious plan. And even Lindsey Graham knew that excuse didn't work. So he's moved on to overcompensating.
Roy Chang
On Twitter, he's posting photos of a different flavor.
Julio Torres
One of him in South Carolina carrying a gun.
Jesse Lydic
Oh, honey, no one's buying that. You can tell he's not happy out there in the woods. He wants to be where the people are. He wants to see. Want to see him dancing. But clearly he felt the backlash. By the way, can we see what he was hunting out there? Unfortunately, Olaf will be replaced by his son, who is also named Olaf and who may be even more hardline than his father, or, as we call it now, regime change. When we come back, we catch up on the latest in sports, so don't go away. K Pop Demon Hunters, Haja Boy's Breakfast Meal and Hunt Trick's Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fame.
Michael Kosta
What do you say to that, Rumi?
Jesse Lydic
It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take
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breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.
Michael Kosta
It is an honor to share.
Jesse Lydic
No, it's our honor.
Julio Torres
It is our larger honor.
Michael Kosta
No, really, stop.
Jesse Lydic
You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Ba da ba ba ba.
Julio Torres
And participate in McDonald's while supplies last.
Jesse Lydic
Welcome back to the Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics drools in sports. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to Sportswar.
Michael Kosta
Get ready for battle. It's time for Sports War, brought to you by Gambling. Gambling. If your family says stop, get a new family.
Roy Chang
What's up, nummy, numb nuts? I'm Roy Chang.
Michael Kosta
And I'm Michael Kosta. This is the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.
Roy Chang
So if I say, volleyball is the most exciting sport, then I say, screw that.
Michael Kosta
I can't even look at a volleyball without crying. Ever since I got stranded on that island and my only friend was a volleyballer.
Roy Chang
I keep telling you, Michael, you're confusing your life with Tom Hanks movies.
Michael Kosta
So I don't have AIDS and live in Philadelphia. That's a relief. I hate Philadelphia.
Roy Chang
Let's start things off with the 10 greatest words in sports. March Madness buzzer beater. Wow, that was some crazy shit.
Julio Torres
What a moment.
Michael Kosta
Mullens tosses it out. It's the ultimate buzzer beater in the final seconds of Duke versus UConn, and it's certain to go down as one of the greatest shots of all time. The announcers were left stunned into silence, and Duke fans left in shock as that shot from the logo goes in.
Roy Chang
And that's right. Suck it, Blue Devils. What a Cinderella story to see Duke, a school of spoiled rich kids, lose to Connecticut, a state of spoiled rich kids. Hey, Duke players, enjoy making millions when you move to the NBA, you losers. I'm telling you, Costa, those final 10 seconds were the best in March Madness history.
Michael Kosta
Who gives a shit about the last 10 seconds? That's all I care about is the first 10 seconds. That's all I can handle. Ever since my attention span was ruined by what Doctors call the Mr. Beastification of my brain.
Roy Chang
Foster, you moron. The buzzer beater is a rare wonder in sports. You almost never see it. It's like watching Tiger woods safely drive a car. This. You never see it. This moment was peak March Madness.
Michael Kosta
Disagree, Ron. The true March Madness is the fact that we all spend all month watching men's basketball instead of honoring Women's History Month.
Roy Chang
Oh, my God, Here we go.
Michael Kosta
Hey, hey, hey. What gives, society? While I love basketball, there's nothing I love more than celebrating the remarkable work of all of history's greatest bitches and hoes. In fact, just after tip off, I threw on a fascinating documentary about a stepmom who walked in on her stepdaughter totally mangling this Tug job. Talk about a crazy final 10 seconds.
Roy Chang
Which brings us to our final four scheme. Better than night. How will the Duke Blue Devil numb the pain brought to you by gambling? Gambling. So easy. A cave woman can do it.
Michael Kosta
Let's move on from the unbeatable excitement of basketball to the unbeatable excitement of baseball. Everyone loves yelling at the umpire. It's the best way to compensate for whatever is going on at home. And it's about to even get better.
Julio Torres
For the first time in the history of the sport, Major League Baseball players who disagree with a called ball or
Michael Kosta
strike will have something they can do
Julio Torres
other than holler and kick dirt.
Roy Chang
The new automated ball strike challenge system,
Michael Kosta
also known as ABs.
Roy Chang
The pitcher, catcher, or hitter can challenge an umpire's call immediately after a pitch
Michael Kosta
just by tapping their head.
Roy Chang
Ugh. God damn it. What is happening to the sport I've known and loved ever since Asians got good at it like three seasons ago? If. If drunk fans can get angry at the umpire, they'll need to find new things to get mad about. Like, I don't know, Mr. And Mrs. Met's incestuous marriage. I mean, they're clearly siblings. Let me just ask you, what would Babe Ruth say if he saw what baseball's become?
Michael Kosta
He'd probably say, hey, what happened to all the really fat guys playing baseball? Regardless, this replay system is great. What's so wrong with giving umpires some extra help? Their job is incredibly difficult. I mean, do you know how hard it is to watch an entire baseball game?
Roy Chang
Oh, please.
Michael Kosta
Come on. Nothing for me.
Roy Chang
Where's the humanity in sports? Let umpires make more. Mistakes are part of the game. It's like when a player drops a pop fly or takes too many steroids and tries to kill the bad boy. It's why we watch the game.
Michael Kosta
I'd like to challenge that take. Let's go to the replay.
Roy Chang
I'm stupid. Wow.
Michael Kosta
Wow. The tape don't lie, Ronnie. Of course, the new ball and strike challenge system isn't the only upgrade the major leagues are getting this year.
Roy Chang
With the new season, new foods are
Julio Torres
coming to ballparks across the country.
Roy Chang
A whole host of new food items this year, including the behemoth bat flip. Two pounds of meat and onions and egg. And holy moly. The base has loaded nachos. They come in a gallon sized bucket. The Glyzilla. It's a two foot one pound hot
Jesse Lydic
dog for the fans of the Marlins. This year we have the machete.
Michael Kosta
It's a house made 2 foot quesadilla Finally a 2 foot long quesadilla to go to town on. And I don't even have to buy it. I can just wait for the guy next to me to die halfway through and eat his this. This is a great reminder that baseball is so much more than a game. It's really about a father and a son going down to the ballpark together, grabbing a gallon of nachos and four feet worth of hot dog meat and then obliterating two toilets at the exact same time. That's a core memory if I ever heard one. Miss you, Pops.
Roy Chang
Are you kidding me? This food is disgusting. Plus, why buy food at a stadium when there's so many free peanut shells lying on the ground? Hey you sneaking some noodles and an egg? You got yourself some pad Thai.
Michael Kosta
Well, that brings us to our tough clench bet of the week. Which major league stadium plumbing will explode first? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst. Gambling. Well, that's all the time we have on sportswear. Join us next time and we debate if there's crying in baseball. And as I told that chick on the Rockford Peaches, no, you're not Tom Hammond. You don't know what you're coming how
Roy Chang
many times you boy have you seen?
Michael Kosta
Five.
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Jesse Lydic
Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is an award winning filmmaker and comedian whose new HBO special is is called Color Theories. Please welcome Julio Torres. Oh, boy. Settled.
Julio Torres
Wait, I love this.
Jesse Lydic
Do you. The spin. The spin or just the comfort of the chair?
Julio Torres
I've never done a talk show where spinning was an option.
Jesse Lydic
You can spin as much as you want.
Julio Torres
Have you ever heard.
Jesse Lydic
This is basic cable. We have no rules.
Julio Torres
Oh, my God. Have you ever been in like a little tiff with someone that you're interviewing and they go like.
Jesse Lydic
Well, there's a first for everything.
Julio Torres
Ok. No,
Jesse Lydic
make me come back.
Julio Torres
Oh, wait, but you didn't.
Jesse Lydic
We need to come back.
Julio Torres
The show needs you.
Jesse Lydic
Ok. That was easy. I have to tell you, I labored over what I was gonna wear today. I panicked over the color choice, so I just bailed and I went with gray. Thank you.
Roy Chang
Wait, we got a.
Jesse Lydic
Thank you.
Julio Torres
This is quite remarkable. We got an ow for gray.
Michael Kosta
Yes.
Julio Torres
I feel like gray doesn't normally get meow.
Jesse Lydic
It definitely does not. What's your interpretation of gray?
Julio Torres
Well, white is what you know.
Jesse Lydic
Mm.
Julio Torres
Black is what you don't know. So gray is that liminal space.
Jesse Lydic
Well, that fits me.
Julio Torres
Yeah. So like waiting rooms.
Jesse Lydic
Oh, I dress. Are you saying I dress like a
Julio Torres
waiting room today or like that? You know what?
Jesse Lydic
You're gonna have to wait for the rest of this interview.
Julio Torres
No, no. Gray can be very sexy. You gotta meow. Yeah.
Jesse Lydic
I will tell you, I desperately wanna be purple, but I feel like I'm giving more lilac. Is that true?
Julio Torres
We need mothers.
Jesse Lydic
Okay, that's a yes.
Roy Chang
Yeah.
Julio Torres
We need mothers. Yeah. Clapping for reproduction. I mean, we do for the species.
Jesse Lydic
It's an administration.
Julio Torres
Yeah. Being purple, that's hard to be purple all the time.
Jesse Lydic
What do you have to do to be purple? Be evil?
Julio Torres
No, no. Just, you know, like mysterious, like seductive, alluring. A little dangerous.
Jesse Lydic
Okay, I'll try a little harder.
Julio Torres
That's a hard gig to like all the time.
Jesse Lydic
That's your way of saying it's not gonna happen, honey.
Julio Torres
No, I think.
Jesse Lydic
Let's try.
Julio Torres
I think it could happen. I don't know that it could happen on the Daily Show. Yeah, like, you'd have to be like in a soap opera. You know what I mean? Is that a pivot? Do you wanna do that?
Jesse Lydic
Is that an invitation? We'll get agreement to a soap opera.
Julio Torres
Yeah.
Jesse Lydic
Okay. Let's catch everyone up to speed.
Julio Torres
If you have.
Jesse Lydic
If you haven't seen the special, tell everyone what the special is about.
Julio Torres
The special is my guide through my theories that I came up about colors that are unproven and are not informed in any kind of research or, or expertise. Just sort of things I thought about. I will say that I said.
Jesse Lydic
You did say them. Yeah, and you said them. Well, you explore these ideas about colors and systems and characteristics in ways that I've certainly never thought about. And yet I'm like watching your special nodding along like, oh my God, yellow is exactly that way. How did you know that this would resonate with your audience?
Julio Torres
I mean, I didn't and you tell me. No, I never do something. I mean, I always, when I'm creating something, I'm always crossing my fingers that I'm not the only person that sees that that way. But I'm always down for the community at large being like, eh, which that could happen. But I don't think it has happened.
Jesse Lydic
No, it hasn't. Because you really did. You really struck a nerve. And there's such an interesting visual quality to this special as well. It's such an immersive experience. It feels like we've been invited into your own whimsical world. What you have like objects coming to life, you have spilled wine that comes to life and a music box that comes to life. What went into planning the visual aesthetic of the show?
Julio Torres
Well, I love working with production designers and artists for this specialist, Tommaso Ortino, who I really love. But we were talking about what should the set look like? And I was. Had my notebook and I was sketching ideas for what I thought the set should look like. And then I took a step back and realized, oh wait, no, the set should look like a giant notebook. So then I sent a picture of that and sent it to Tommaso and he was like, so sorry. It should look like the drawing's in the notebook. I was like, no, it is the notebook.
Jesse Lydic
And it does. It looks like a giant pop up book.
Julio Torres
Yeah, it's a big pop up book that opens and I am sleeping inside of.
Jesse Lydic
But he's not sleeping. He's not sleeping the whole time. He wakes up.
Julio Torres
I wake up when the show begins.
Jesse Lydic
Do you have. You know how.
Julio Torres
That's a great review. He wakes up when the show begins.
Jesse Lydic
When the show begins.
Julio Torres
He's awake for the show.
Jesse Lydic
It was a show and he wasn't awake.
Julio Torres
And he was awake.
Jesse Lydic
Enjoy. You know how musicians have that thing? Some musicians have synesthesia.
Julio Torres
Yes.
Jesse Lydic
Is that what it's called where you hear music? Very serious medical condition. Yeah, you hear music and you see Color. Do you have that? But for comedy.
Julio Torres
Okay, this is where I've landed with this question that I have faced before. I think we all have it. Period. End of sentence.
Jesse Lydic
Okay.
Julio Torres
Because I think. I think. Cause every time someone explains it to me, what synesthesia is, and I'm like, right, we all have that.
Jesse Lydic
I don't think everyone has that, though.
Julio Torres
I think we all do.
Jesse Lydic
Okay.
Julio Torres
I think that if you sit down and think enough about what feelings come up with different colors and what opinions you have about. Cause it's like. Think about it. Like, when a company wants to seem healthy, they use green, right? Because green is, like, calming and serene. When something wants to appear serious, they use, like, gray or navy blue.
Jesse Lydic
Yes.
Julio Torres
And then those things trigger different emotions.
Jesse Lydic
So when you started playing around with this idea and exploring colors in this way, did it come from an association, like, just a general vibe of the color or a previous experience with those colors? Like names sometimes, like, you know, like, I've never met a Susan that I liked. Oh, sorry. Is anyone here named Susan?
Michael Kosta
No.
Julio Torres
You know what's happening now?
Jesse Lydic
Get the out. Get the out. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about that. No, she shouldn't have been in here.
Julio Torres
You know what's happening, though. Now, the Susans that you do know are watching this and are like, you know what?
Jesse Lydic
Let him.
Julio Torres
Oh,
Jesse Lydic
watch. Let him go for it, Susan. I'd like to see what you do, Susan. No, you're right. You're right. We'll edit this part out.
Julio Torres
Wait, but what led us into Susan?
Jesse Lydic
Oh, no. When you were first exploring this, a general vibe thing that the colors give to you, or previously experiences that you had with those colors.
Julio Torres
Okay. This is sort of what it was. I have always admired comedians that can do impressions. And I. When I sat down and thought, like, oh, what impressions can I do? I thought of, like, orange.
Jesse Lydic
Give me your best orange.
Julio Torres
Okay, well, now I'm in the spot. I don't want to seem ridiculous. Okay, now I think.
Jesse Lydic
Give us orange. Okay.
Julio Torres
I think orange. I think orange is like. Is like. It's like.
Jesse Lydic
That's so orange. Yeah.
Julio Torres
I think orange is, like, fun. Sun and surf. Like, fun to date. Maybe don't marry.
Jesse Lydic
Yes.
Julio Torres
Yeah. Great dad for some of the years.
Jesse Lydic
Okay. Not all of them.
Julio Torres
When things get really serious, you don't want dad to be orange. Right?
Jesse Lydic
So wait, early dad is orange? Or late dad.
Julio Torres
I would say toddler to early adolescence benefits from orange.
Jesse Lydic
Right.
Julio Torres
You wanna throw the ball around? Do you wanna. You know, et cetera, et cetera?
Jesse Lydic
Yeah.
Julio Torres
Before you don't eat. Before. It's like, put down the guitar. There's a baby. Right. I feel I'm hearing parenting. I've never. I don't know children.
Jesse Lydic
Just so you know, I have no
Julio Torres
connection to any of this.
Jesse Lydic
I'm firing my therapist after this. I will only come to you for parental advice.
Julio Torres
I think that's exactly what you're talking about. That would be great for your development as a person.
Jesse Lydic
It feels like the world is very navy blue at the moment. Kind of overwhelmingly navy blue.
Julio Torres
So. Yes. And they're like, what. What I meant in the special by navy blue is. So blue is, to me, the color of logic.
Jesse Lydic
Mm.
Julio Torres
Two plus two is four blue. Navy blue has a little bit of the unknown. Mm. Something's hidden. So, like, the tax code is. Is navy blue, but navy blue pretends like it's just logic.
Jesse Lydic
Right.
Julio Torres
It's just like, what? No, this makes perfect sense that you. That you pay this much and Mr. Bezos doesn't pay anything. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It's like, no, you're hiding something in the darkness there.
Jesse Lydic
Uh huh.
Julio Torres
Um. So, yeah, I would say that the absurdity. I think actually what's happening is navy blue's mask is falling off a little bit now. And we're like, wait, but what about the Constitution? And now they're like. And it's like. Which is sort of like.
Roy Chang
Which.
Julio Torres
They're sort of like, no, that's like saying the floor is lava, right? It's like, no, you can touch the floor. It's not lava.
Jesse Lydic
Right.
Julio Torres
And we're like, oh, okay.
Jesse Lydic
What is so overwhelmingly navy blue to you right now that pisses you off the most?
Julio Torres
Only because it's top of mind right now. Cause I was just at a rally. Any argument. All the arguments I've heard against taxing the ultra rich or big corporations feel very navy blue.
Jesse Lydic
Mm.
Julio Torres
Cause they're like. They're like, well, that. That would destroy the economy and bring. And it's like, well, we know something's not working right now.
Jesse Lydic
Yes.
Julio Torres
And we tried trickled down. We gave it a shot.
Jesse Lydic
Did we ever. I'm like, we gave it many shots
Julio Torres
and that didn't work. We gave it a fair shot. Sure. True little miss trickle down economics. And so any argument I hear is just like, it's coming from people who present themselves as, like, very logical people that know better. But it's like, what are you hiding? And it's usually donor money, right?
Jesse Lydic
Always donor money.
Julio Torres
It's always donor money.
Jesse Lydic
So the political parties Are typically you think of Republicans being red and Democrats being blue. Is that the way that you see the color variation for.
Julio Torres
Okay. I think yes. I think that historically, the US Both the left and the right, Democrat and Republican, has had very. Has walked down the line of navy blue.
Jesse Lydic
Mm.
Julio Torres
They have both. Regardless of whether or not you agree with them, they have both. They both present as logical while clearly hiding something.
Jesse Lydic
Yes.
Julio Torres
Um, the. But I think maga, which advertises itself as red, it's saying, no, we are angry. You are angry. We are angry. We're different. It's actually, I think burgundy because it, too, is hiding something. Yes. In black. And I think it's the same thing that's being hidden in navy blue.
Jesse Lydic
I think so too. That's so true.
Julio Torres
Money. They like money.
Jesse Lydic
They all like money.
Julio Torres
They like money. Yeah.
State Farm Announcer
Okay.
Julio Torres
I can't believe I'm saying all of this. Wearing this.
Jesse Lydic
It makes perfect sense to me.
Julio Torres
Okay, great.
Jesse Lydic
It works.
Julio Torres
Yeah.
Jesse Lydic
I just feel foolish that I don't have one on, so. Okay, we'll do it in post.
Julio Torres
Yeah.
Jesse Lydic
One final question for you, and this has been burning me up inside Real Talk. What the is up with Puce
Julio Torres
Pughs? The hue of pink piece.
Jesse Lydic
The color piece, which is like a.
Julio Torres
Like a dusty pink.
Jesse Lydic
I thought it was like a. Between a green and a yellow. Can anyone confirm that? Yes. Applause.
Julio Torres
Who thought it was a pink?
Jesse Lydic
Did anyone here think it was pink? Okay, you're not alone.
Julio Torres
Okay, so we think it's between. What was it? A green and a yellow.
Jesse Lydic
I feel like it's between a green and. What do you do for a living? Okay, you're a teacher, but math.
Julio Torres
So colors was like an elective for her.
Jesse Lydic
Zero experience. And pink the clapper over here. What do you.
Julio Torres
A What? An electrical engineer. Okay, that's pretty fab.
Jesse Lydic
Yeah, it is fab. It's like not.
Julio Torres
This is you at work. That's what I think an electrical engineer does. I love that.
Jesse Lydic
I love that anyone in this room could Google it right now and we could get to the bottom of this. But we're not going to.
Julio Torres
Okay, but my. Okay, I want to ask the question. Under the question. Yeah. Which is because you seem pretty revolted about this color.
Jesse Lydic
It's not my favorite. If it's the color that I'm trying to.
Julio Torres
What memory does it trigger? And does Susan wear.
Jesse Lydic
Is all. Is it pink? Wait, it is pink. It's pink. It's pink. Did someone Google it? Our showrunner says it's pink. It's pink. You're right. You are the color expert.
Julio Torres
I was told you had a thing about it and I googled it like two seconds ago.
Jesse Lydic
God, you cheat. So what?
Julio Torres
But the name Pius.
Jesse Lydic
Pius for me. Okay, this really feeds into the theme of your special because I was putting an unfair characterization on the color and I didn't even know enough about the color. I put all my judgment on it.
Julio Torres
Pius is like you've never talked to me. Puce is like you've never talked to me, we've never met, and then here you are on tv.
Jesse Lydic
What am I saying?
Julio Torres
Dragging me.
Jesse Lydic
Yes. Didn't know. I didn't even educate myself about Puce before I threw judgment on her.
Julio Torres
And Puce is not thinking about you.
Jesse Lydic
No. Boy, is she not.
Julio Torres
Pews is like, I don't have time for this. Like I have a full life. I'm sorry you have time to obsess about me.
Jesse Lydic
I. I feel so foolish right now. I just want to apologize to Puce. And you know what? It. I apologize to Susan too. We fixed so much.
Julio Torres
We fixed so much segment.
Jesse Lydic
I adore you.
Michael Kosta
Congratulations.
Julio Torres
This was wonderful.
Jesse Lydic
Congratulations on your special.
Roy Chang
Oh, thank you.
Jesse Lydic
Thank you so much. Holly Gaming is streaming now on HBO for Leo Torrance. We're gonna take this a break. We'll be right back after this.
Michael Kosta
This is. New to TikTok. You might be surprised. TikTok shop is packed with a wide variety of products and unexpected discounts. Easy to browse, easy to find. Good value. Download TikTok now.
Julio Torres
Your little one grew three inches overnight. Adorable. Also expensive. Sell their pint sized pieces on depop and list them in minutes with no selling fees because somewhere a dad refuses to pay full price for the clothes his kids will outgrow tomorrow. And he's ready to buy your son's entire wardrobe right now. Consider your future growth Bird budget secured and start selling on Depop where taste recognizes taste. Payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details.
Jesse Lydic
That's our show for tonight. But before we go, it's national run for Office. Go to thedailyshow.com takeasee to learn more from our friends at Headcount about running for office. We look forward to your unsolicited text asking for campaign donations. Now here it is, your moment of
Roy Chang
Zen from Venezuela to Cuba.
Michael Kosta
And now he's going to curve down what's happened in Iraq so they can
Roy Chang
Iran the size of the country of
Michael Kosta
Iraq or excuse me, of Iran.
Jesse Lydic
This is before the war in Iraq. The oldest synagogue. Excuse me, Iran.
Michael Kosta
Why do the Iraqis, the Iranians. Excuse me, Concerns over the war with
Julio Torres
Iraq and now multiple sources. Excuse me, war with Iran. I want to rephrase that.
Michael Kosta
Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus, This has been a Comedy Central podcast.
Podcast Summary: The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Episode: Kristi Noem's Husband Gets Busty & Lindsey Graham Spotted at Disney World | Julio Torres
Date: April 1, 2026
Host: Jesse Lydic (plus correspondents Roy Chang, Michael Kosta, special guest Julio Torres)
This episode dives into recent political absurdities—mainly the bizarre news about Kristi Noem's husband, Lindsey Graham's unexpected Disney World outing amid geopolitical chaos, and an irreverent sports recap. The latter half features a whimsical, insightful interview with comedian and filmmaker Julio Torres about his new HBO special "Color Theories," exploring the emotional logic and personality of colors.
For listeners: If you missed the episode, this summary captures the rich tapestry of political goofiness, sports lampoons, and the delightful philosophical musings of Julio Torres on the secret lives of colors.