TDS Time Machine | Air Travel

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Episode Summary
Episode: TDS Time Machine | Air Travel
Release Date: March 11, 2025
Host/Authors: iHeartPodcasts and Paramount Podcasts
Hosts: Trevor Noah, Ronny Chieng, and Desi Lydic

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Introduction

In the "TDS Time Machine | Air Travel" episode of The Daily Show: Ears Edition, Trevor Noah, alongside co-hosts Ronny Chieng and Desi Lydic, delves into the tumultuous world of modern air travel. The episode humorously dissects recent airline controversies, passenger behavior, government regulations, and industry innovations, offering listeners a satirical yet insightful take on the challenges and absurdities of flying today.

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Airline Customer Treatment and Viral Incidents

The episode opens with a critique of how airlines handle customer service, highlighted by various viral incidents:

• United Airlines' Controversial Upgrade: Trevor Noah jokes about United Airlines' mishap involving a passenger being upgraded to "wrestling class," setting the tone for discussions on poor customer treatment ("00:01").

• World Star Airlines Satire: The hosts envision a parody airline where passengers choose between classes like "first class, economy, or McDonald's parking lot," complete with emergency phone drops for personal filming ("00:01").

• Physical Altercations on Flights: Ronny Chieng recounts an incident where a Delta pilot was seen hitting a passenger amidst a fight, while Desi Lydic humorously critiques the absurdity of fights on airplanes, including a passenger in a Hawaiian shirt engaging in a physical altercation ("01:01", "02:13").

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Unusual and Disturbing Airline Incidents

The conversation takes a bizarre turn with discussions about unusual incidents:

• Scorpion Incident on a United Flight: Ronny Chieng describes a shocking event where a scorpion fell from an overhead bin onto a passenger’s head during a flight from Houston to Calgary ("02:03").

• Death of a Giant Rabbit: United Airlines faces PR backlash after a giant rabbit named Simon, who held a Guinness World Record, dies on a flight. The hosts mock the airline’s hollow apology and the tragedy's trivialization ("02:41").

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Airline Policies and Passenger Rights

Trevor Noah and Desi Lydic explore proposed and existing airline policies aimed at improving passenger experiences:

• Overbooking Practices: Desi Lydic lambastes airlines for overbooking flights and suggests simplifying booking systems to prevent delays and confusion ("03:23").

• Passenger Bill of Rights: Trevor Noah mentions Congress's efforts to establish a Passenger Bill of Rights, anticipating better treatment for travelers ("03:30").

• Biden Administration's Airline Passenger Rights: Ronny Chieng explains new regulations that entitle passengers to automatic cash refunds for flight cancellations, significant delays, seat downgrades, and inaccessible aircraft modifications ("20:38"). Desi expresses cautious optimism, while Ronny humorously doubts the efficacy of refunds for issues like defective airplane doors ("21:32").

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Passenger Behavior and Airline Policies

The hosts highlight and satirize problematic passenger behavior and resultant conflicts:

• Seat Reclining Conflicts: A notable incident involving Wendy Williams recounts a passenger becoming aggressive when her seat reclined, leading to harassment and physical altercations ("18:51").

• Mock Pre-Flight Announcements: Trevor Noah criticizes the standard, often ignored, safety announcements, imagining absurd scenarios where pre-flight routines become invasive or humorous ("04:08", "11:36").

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Racial Profiling and Language Bias in Airlines

A significant portion of the episode addresses racial profiling and linguistic discrimination in air travel:

• Southwest Airlines Incident: A Maryland Muslim woman, Hakeemah Abdullah, was removed from a Southwest flight for speaking Arabic, sparking discussions on racial profiling. Trevor Noah criticizes the airline's actions and highlights the misconception that language equates to threat ("07:40", "10:18").

• Satirical Apology: The hosts create a mock pre-flight announcement tailored to Muslim passengers, emphasizing stereotypes and prejudices to highlight the absurdity and inappropriateness of such profiling ("12:37").

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Airline Amenities and Safety Concerns

The episode examines the state of airline amenities and safety protocols:

• Water Quality Study: Ronny Chieng discusses a study comparing water safety across airlines, revealing that carriers like Alaska Airlines and Southwest have cleaner water, while Delta and American Airlines lag behind. The hosts mock the lesser-known aspect of in-flight water safety ("13:38").

• Japanese Airlines' Innovative Seat Selection: Japan Airlines introduces a feature allowing passengers to select seats based on baby locations, a move met with both mockery and begrudging acceptance by the hosts who joke about the chaos of seating arrangements ("15:17", "15:37").

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Airline Upgrades and Industry Critique

The hosts also comment on recent updates and improvements within the airline industry:

• Spirit Airlines' Cabin Redesign: Spirit Airlines announces redesigned cabins with more legroom and larger tray tables. While the hosts acknowledge the improvement, they humorously downplay the significance, emphasizing past frustrations with the airline's standards ("17:35", "18:00").

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, Trevor Noah reflects on the overall decline in the quality of air travel, likening future flying experiences to dystopian scenarios like "Fight Club" in the sky. The episode underscores the cumulative frustrations of passengers while sarcastically acknowledging minor improvements and pending regulatory changes.

• Final Satire on Passenger Experience: The hosts envision a future where flying becomes increasingly hostile and competitive, with airlines prioritizing profit over passenger comfort and safety ("19:15", "19:48").

• Government Interventions and Future Expectations: Desi Lydic humorously mentions additional legislative desires, like reinstating Roe v. Wade to avoid uncomfortable flight experiences, blending political satire with airline grievances ("22:13").

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ronny Chieng on Overcrowded Airplane Bathrooms:
  “...like we're trapped in a hopeless marriage. You know, there's barely enough room for a person to sit comfortably...”
  05:52

• Desi Lydic on Airline Overbooking:
  “You count the seats on your plane and then you sell that number of tickets. That's it.”
  03:30

• Trevor Noah on Passenger Profiling:
  “Now, you understand that the passenger who complained didn't know what she was talking about.”
  09:28

• Ronny Chieng on Passenger Rights:
  “...passengers must now get automatic cash refunds when a flight is canceled for any reason...”
  20:38

• Desi Lydic on Government Regulations:
  “This is the greatest thing the government has ever done in history.”
  21:54

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Final Notes

The episode effectively uses humor and satire to highlight serious issues within the airline industry, from customer service mishaps and racial profiling to regulatory changes and passenger rights. By weaving together personal anecdotes, current events, and exaggerated scenarios, Trevor Noah and his co-hosts provide a comprehensive and entertaining critique of air travel in 2025.

Listeners gain an engaging overview of the multifaceted challenges facing modern airlines, delivered with the trademark wit and incisive commentary that The Daily Show is known for.

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Explore More:
Discover additional episodes and related shows within The Daily Show podcast universe by searching "The Daily Show" on your preferred podcast platform. For more laughs and topical discussions, watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central or stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+ and Paramount Podcasts.

Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

You're listening to Comedy Central. Ever since United Airlines got in trouble for upgrading a passenger to wrestling class, people have started paying close attention to how airlines treat customers. You know, there have been many viral videos of crazy stuff that's happening on airplanes. Uh, in fact, they're thinking about starting an airline's flight for World Star Airlines. Right? And basically what happens is you're just gonna choose your section, first class, economy or McDonald's parking lot. And then if they have an emergency, phones drop down from the ceiling so that you can film yourself. Ah, World Star. For more on the trends in travel, we turn to senior travel correspondent Ronny Chang, everybody. Thank you.

[Ronny Chieng]

Thank you.

[Desi Lydic]

Thanks, Trevor. Look, flying sucks, right? It's always sucked. But back in the day, we just couldn't record how much it sucked. Now, with camera phones, we can relive those terrible moments forever.

[Ronny Chieng]

This Delta pilot was actually caught hitting a passenger, apparently trying to break up a fight between two passengers in a jetway. American immediately suspended the flight attendant who allegedly ripped a stroller away from the mother, nearly striking the child in the process. Hey, bud, you do that to me and I'll knock you flat. Another disturbing airline incident caught on camera. Two passengers throwing punches at each other. The man in red yelled, you think I'm crazy? The government is crazy.

[Desi Lydic]

No, dude, you're crazy. Right? Who fights in a Hawaiian shirt? He's like the angriest guy at the luau. Why is there no umbrella in my pina colada? And what is this? Is this a new pre flight routine? Here's your seatbelt. Here are the exits. All right, now let's keep above the belt, everybody.

[Trevor Noah]

All right?

[Desi Lydic]

Wanna see a good, clean fight? You think Detroit is tough, Try being in boarding zone five. Come on, people. We can't just keep fighting each other on airplanes. We have to come together and unite so we can fight other species.

[Ronny Chieng]

A passenger stung by a scorpion. The United flight was heading from Houston to Calgary when the scorpion suddenly dropped from an overhead bin, landing on a passenger's head.

[Desi Lydic]

Why are we fighting desert animals in the sky? Okay, look, if a bird picks a fight with me, okay, maybe, right? But a scorpion? No, I'm not mentally prepared for that. And the worst part is, when a scorpion stings me, I won't have the antidote because it's more than 3 ounces. Yeah, right? So now I'm dead. Like this rabbit.

[Ronny Chieng]

United Airlines is dealing with another PR nightmare following the death of a giant rabbit. They've come out with a statement that the safety and well being of all the animals that travel with us is of the utmost importance to. What makes matters worse was that Simon was a promising rabbit at 129cm long. His father Darius, holds the Guinness World Records for being the biggest rabbit.

[Desi Lydic]

Thanks a lot, United. You killed the Yao Ming of rabbits. Seriously? This is a professionally big rabbit. It's like first ballot hall of Fame rabbit.

[Trevor Noah]

Jesus, Ronnie. I. I fly, but I didn't realize flying had gotten so bad, man. Is there anything that the airlines can do?

[Desi Lydic]

Well, I'm glad you asked, Trevor. Okay, first of all, hey, airline, stop overbooking flights, okay?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

This is what you do, okay? You count the seats on your plane and then you sell that number of tickets. That's it. Sorry, is that too difficult to understand? Okay, second thing, we don't need 20 websites searching each other for cheapest flights, okay? Just have one website call it the Cheapest Flights. That's it. We go there, we get the cheapest flights, and if there's a delay, they should pay us, okay? That's how it works. And if we crash in the ocean. Yeah, and if we crash in the ocean, we need knives under our seats. Otherwise we're just sitting there like Chicken McNuggets for sharks.

[Trevor Noah]

You know, Ronny, actually speaking of helping this, I read that Congress is having hearings today, and Congress is gonna figure out a way to make a passenger bill of Rights. Great.

[Desi Lydic]

Congress is in charge of airlines. Next time I go home, I'm driving.

[Trevor Noah]

Thanks, Ronnie. Ronny Chang, everybody. We'll be right back. Do you hate flying? Well, the airlines don't care.

[Ronny Chieng]

First it was shrinking legroom, then it was the overhead bin space. Now American Airlines, they're thinking about making bathrooms smaller. The company announced that they're planning to make them only two feet wide in their new planes. American Airlines new planes will have 172 seats. Ten more than what they have now.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, bathrooms are gonna get even smaller on airplanes. This is why I always choose to check my deuces at the gate. You know? Yeah, I get looks, but it's worth it. You know, I. I honestly wonder what asshole thing airlines will come up with next. Are they just gonna have two people per seat? You know, someone will come up to you and be like, uh, excuse me, uh, hello? And you'll be like, I'm sorry, am I in your seat? And they'll be like, no, you are my seat. That's what this says. Cause, like, when you pay for extra luggage, you pay extra for legroom. Uh, extra to guarantee your seat. You know, it's only a matter of time before they make you pay for different parts of the flight. It's gonna be like, sir, we're about to descend. Um, so I'm gonna need you to exit the plane. You're like, but we're still in the air. Oh, you wanted the takeoff and landing package. Oh, you done up. So they're trying to squeeze every single dime out of us, but, like, really squeeze. In fact, to give you an idea of how small these American Airlines bathrooms would be, we're joined in the studio by our very own Desi Lydic, everybody.

[Ronny Chieng]

Thank you, Trevor. To show you what we're talking about, we built a full scale model of American Airlines proposed 24 inch bathroom. And it is like the walls are closing in, suffocating us. Like we're trapped in a hopeless marriage. You know, there's barely enough room for a person to sit comfortably, wash their hands, or shave their bikini line at 30,000ft. Trevor.

[Trevor Noah]

Thank you so much for that, Desi. In other news, President Trump today granted Kim Kardashian's request to commute the prison sentence of 63 year old drug dealer Alice Marie Johnson. And you know the thing about Kim Kardashian, like, have you ever noticed how she's such a great person who might one day be able to get me out of prison, which is why I'll never make another joke about her. Yeah. Cause I mean, can you imagine? I'll be in jail crying like, kim, please tell the president I'm innocent. She'll be like, first, can you tell that joke about me and Ray J? And I'll be like, so the joke.

[Desi Lydic]

Is.

[Trevor Noah]

Sorry, Desi, what are you doing?

[Ronny Chieng]

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

[Trevor Noah]

That's not a real bathroom.

[Ronny Chieng]

It is now.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, Desi Lydic, everybody. Um.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow.

[Trevor Noah]

Let's. Let's talk about flying now. Uh, it can be a terrifying experience. You're in a small building that's moving 500 miles an hour in constant fear of either crashing or having to act. Interested in what the person next to you is saying. Oh, that's right. I guess I never did think about who distributes phone charger cables. Yeah. But for some people, flying can be even harder. A college student in California is demanding.

[Ronny Chieng]

An apology from Southwest Airlines after being.

[Trevor Noah]

Escorted off a plane for speaking Arabic. Wow, that is shocking. Americans can recognize Arabic. Wow. So messed up. I didn't know speaking foreign languages was against airline regulations. And when I first heard this, I thought, well, maybe he was shouting and acting like he was a Threat. But no, he was just being a person who speaks Arabic. The woman sitting in front of him.

[Ronny Chieng]

Told the crew she overheard him making potentially threatening comments. He was on the phone with his uncle in Baghdad and used the common Arabic expression inshallah, or God willing. Another passenger told security that Makzumi was using jihadist language. He was pulled off the plane and then questioned.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow. Thrown off the flight for saying God willing? Yeah, I bet the full sentence was probably, God willing my fellow passengers won't throw me off the flight for no reason. Nope, nope. Looks like they're taking me away. Well, God willing, I won't get a cavity search. Nope. Looks like that's happening as well. And by the way, what did that passenger mean he was using jihadist language? A language doesn't get owned by the worst people who use it. We don't call English the Real Housewives language. That's not how it works. Arabic is a language. It's not an action. Now, now, now, look. This passenger who complained didn't know what she was talking about. And I understand that, and I understand why she was alarmed. It's because every day on tv, everyone is telling her to be alarmed.

[Ronny Chieng]

The entire Obama administration refuses even to utter the words radical Islamic terrorism. There is a link between Islam and terrorism.

[Trevor Noah]

There's a large group of violent, extremist Muslims who are coming to kill me and you. A total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States. Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim. And not all idiots are Fox News hosts, But all Fox News hosts are. Well, you'll figure it out. But Southwest Airlines. Here's my thing. Just because someone saw something and said something doesn't mean you guys have to do the wrong thing. As an airline, you shouldn't be racially profiling. That's the TSA's job. Like, the problem is that Southwest is getting a reputation for doing this.

[Ronny Chieng]

A Maryland Muslim woman says she was humiliated after getting kicked off her flight because of her religion.

[Trevor Noah]

The woman, Hakeemah Abdullah, who was wearing an Islamic headscarf at the time, says all she wanted to do was switch seats. Instead, she got the boot by a flight attendant. What she failed to mention was that she wanted to switch seats with the pilots. Now, now, you'd think with this pattern, the least Southwest could do is offer an apology.

[Ronny Chieng]

Southwest says the student's removal was, quote, a collaborative decision rooted in established procedure.

[Trevor Noah]

Flight attendants are allowed to remove people off flights if they pose a threat to public safety. Oh. Oh, really? Southwest? Yeah. You want to talk about public safety. Uh, maybe you should start by assigning seat numbers, because right now, every single flight is like a black Friday sale. I had to trample three kids just to get a window seat. Three kids. You know how hard it is to enjoy a view with dead children at your feet? Thank God I had a window to look pensively out of. What have I done? What have I done? And Southwest, if you're trying to sell how seriously you take safety, then maybe stop making these pre flight announcements.

[Ronny Chieng]

These days, some airline's gone crazy charging for each little thing. All my flight attendants. All my flight attendants. All my flight attendants, put your hands up.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, stop. Buckle up and listen. Don't get me wrong. It's. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun what they're doing until the plane's going down. And you can't remember the lyrics to the safety song. Yeah. Because it's a song, people. So now you know, like, you're gonna have to do that thing where you have to sing the whole song just to get to the part that you can't remember. The plane's going down and you're like, ah, what was it? Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Stop. Buckle up and listen. And then listen. Oh, from the ceiling mask on the ceiling mask on the ceiling mask from the ceil. That does not make me feel safe. Planes are not a place where employees should be singing. It's not cold stone creamery. I've never been into cold stone creamery and been like, man, this is so much fun. I wish my life was in their hands. But since Southwest doesn't look like they'll change their policy, we at the Daily show took the liberty of at least recording a pre flight announcement that they can show to help their Muslim passengers. And, uh, this is what we came up with.

[Ronny Chieng]

Welcome aboard Southwest Airlines. Before takeoff, here are a few ways our Muslim passengers can avoid terrifying their fellows. Fellow travelers, don't bring a bag on your flight because bags can have bombs in them. Instead, carry your possessions in your arms at all times. If you speak Arabic, don't. It's a scary language. But don't not speak either, because that's also super suspicious. Instead, memorize some common English phrases. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Be considerate to your non Muslim seatmates. Give them fair warning before you make any movements with your hands. I'm about to buckle my seatbelt, not detonate a suicide vest. And most important, please take A moment to locate the nearest emergency exit so that in the event of an angry mob, you'll know where to go with your parachute. Thank you, Muslims, for still somehow choosing Southwest. You are now free to move about the country as long as Linda in.

[Trevor Noah]

11C is cool with it.

[Ronny Chieng]

If you have a flight coming up, you may want to be careful about what you drink, because a new study looked at the water safety from a dozen major airlines. And those airlines with the cleanest water are Alaska Airlines, Allegiant, Hawaiian Air, Frontier, and Southwest. While the dirtiest water is found on board Delta, American, United, JetBlue, and Spirit Airlines. That might surprise you, right? The study suggests sticking with bottled water on planes and avoiding the coffee and tea. You can also use hand sanitizer instead of washing your hands in the bathroom.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Turns out if you've been drinking water on a plane, your bowels may be in danger. And honestly, this was surprising to me. Cause I always knew that the water in the bathroom wasn't for drinking. Right. You use that to wash your feet. But I didn't know that the water they serve you can also be dirty. Like, how does it get that bad? Why do they take the hot towels from business class and squeeze the water into cups? Or economy? Is that what they do? You're just like, mm, what? What does that taste, sir? That is the taste of success. And that list was pretty interesting as well. You've got Alaskan at the top, and then all the way at the bottom is Spirit Airlines. And I know, I know some people think Spirit should be ashamed that they're number 10. But to be honest, I was impressed that they have water on their flights. Yeah. Normally the only refreshments on Spirit are your own tears of Spirit Airlines. Our water has the least of your problems. If you love flying but you hate crying babies, well, then maybe you should be flying to Japan.

[Ronny Chieng]

Japan Airlines is coming to the rescue of travelers who don't want to sit near a crying baby. Japan Airlines seat selection map now shows where babies will be seated on upcoming flights. This is good news for parents traveling with children as well, since they can try to congregate around fellow travelers with babies who won't mind being around them.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Yes. What a genius move. Japan Airlines will show you where the babies are on a plane before you book your seat. This is the best invention in flying since. The seatback tray. Yeah. Yeah. Because before the tray, when you asked for orange juice, you just had to be like, yes, please. Yeah, I love this idea. I wanna see where the babies are On a flight. Cause there's nothing worse than thinking you're gonna sleep on a plane. But then you realize you're sitting next to a tiny, crazy person. Cause that's what babies are. They're a tiny, crazy person. They're screaming and shitting themselves. Ah. Then they eat their feet. What are you. I also hope this means more babies will sit next to each other. Yeah. Because that's the only way you can ever get a baby to stop crying. Have you ever been around babies, right? Like, there's one baby crying, and then have you noticed when a baby sees another baby crying, like, they'll be like, ah. And then another baby like, ah. And they'll be like, whoa, what's going on there? They'll be like, this. This person' that's weird. Is that. Is that. Is someone gonna deal with this? So I love the idea. I also don't think we should stop there. Yeah, I don't just wanna know where the babies are on a plane. I also wanna know where the dude who snores is gonna be on the plane. All right. I wanna know where the person who gets up and goes to the bathroom five times an hour is gonna be on a plane. And I definitely wanna know where the people who talk to you the whole flight are gonna be on the plane. All right. Talking is for the Runway. Once we get over 10,000ft. You shut up. I'm not your friend. We talk here. How are you? Oh, where you fly? Cool. Ah. Seatbelt. Your mouth goes off as well. So congrats to Japan Airlines for letting me see the seats with the crying babies. And congrats to Spirit Airlines, who have announced a new feature that lets you see where the adults will be crying. Spirit Airlines, you'll wish you were sitting next to a baby. Millions of people will be traveling for the holidays next week. And just in time, our favorite airline has made a major announcement.

[Ronny Chieng]

Spirit Airlines unveiled its redesigned cabin that features more comfortable seats and bigger tray tables. Spirit says the seats will offer 2 extra inches of usable legroom and full size tables. The change coming after the carrier faced a lot of criticism over the years about thin seats and tight legroom space. The new interior is currently installed on one airplane so far, but the plan is to try and make it available across the entire fleet.

[Trevor Noah]

Yay. Spirit Airlines has finally upgraded their planes. And can I just say, I'm so proud. More legroom, a full size tray table. And just look at those seats, huh? I mean, sure, it looks like they stole them from the Delta terminal, but still.

[Ronny Chieng]

But still.

[Trevor Noah]

And you also could argue that a full size tray table is a weird thing to brag about. But on the bright side, now you have room to put the meal they don't give you. This is great. So congratulations, Spurt. I mean, we dissed them a lot on the show, but this is a big improvement over their old seats, which were just a dirty couch they found on the street. I think that's great. Airplanes, they used to be a magical way to travel in style. But these days, they're so cramped and frustrating, it's turning into fight club in the sky.

[Ronny Chieng]

A passenger on a recent American Airlines.

[Trevor Noah]

Flight says a man assaulted her by.

[Ronny Chieng]

Continuously punching her seat.

[Trevor Noah]

See that guy back there punching that woman's seat?

[Ronny Chieng]

So that is Wendy Williams sitting in the seat there. She said the man initially asked her.

[Trevor Noah]

To recline up while he ate. She says she obliged, and when the man was done eating, she reclined back again.

[Ronny Chieng]

That's when she said he kept hammering away at the back of her seat.

[Trevor Noah]

You could just see him punching, punching, punching, punching. In a statement to CBS News, American Airlines says they are aware of this.

[Ronny Chieng]

And looking into the issue.

[Trevor Noah]

Really, people, this is just childish. And I mean for both of these passengers. First of all, guy punching, right? If this woman is reclining into your space, you don't hit the back of her seat. Come on, grow up. Do the mature thing. You call the flight attendant over and you tell them you saw this lady putting drugs up her butt. That's what you do. And as for the reclining woman, do you really need to recline?

[Ronny Chieng]

Huh?

[Trevor Noah]

Does that extra 2 inches help you relax? There's nothing relaxing about flying. You're trapped inside a bullet full of farts. Just sit upright for a couple of hours. I don't understand these fights. If you ask me, these two passengers shouldn't be mad at each other. They should be mad at the airline. Think about it. They're the ones who keep squeezing all those seats closer and closer, making the rest of us fight for the overhead bins and all the space. Pretty soon, flying is gonna turn into the Hunger Games. Yeah, they're just gonna put one bag of pretzels in the aisle and be like, all right, passengers, lunch is being served. May the odds be ever in your favor.

[Desi Lydic]

With all this money Congress is sending overseas, you might be wondering, hey, when does Ronnie get a little taste of this? When's the government going to do a little something for me?

[Ronny Chieng]

The Biden administration revealing new airline passenger rights, protecting folks from hidden fees and other frustrations of Flying. Like the refund policy for flight delays. Passengers must now get automatic cash refunds when a flight is canceled for any reason or delayed by more than three hours for domestic flights, more than six hours for international.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, cash refunds. Yeah, that's something.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm always having airplane delays.

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah, that is pretty good. I mean, but, you know, delays is only a small part of the problem. I mean, what if, you know, you know, when, like, airlines make you change airports or they add connections and they always just try to screw you over.

[Ronny Chieng]

If the airline changes any of your airports, adds connections, downgrades your seat, or even changes the plane to one that's less accessible to those with disabilities, those are all new reasons for cash refunds.

[Desi Lydic]

I'm cautiously optimistic. It's good. It got my attention. It is pretty good. In fact, it feels a little too good to be true. But, hey, I guess all I have to worry about now is losing my luggage and shitty WI fi.

[Ronny Chieng]

If your checked bags aren't delivered within as little as 12 hours or your WI fi doesn't work, you're entitled to refunds.

[Desi Lydic]

This is the greatest thing the government has ever done in history.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean, the new deal wasn't pretty.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, in history.

[Desi Lydic]

In history. Jordan the man is refunding you for WI fi in the sky. That doesn't work. What more could you want?

[Ronny Chieng]

I mean, you still gotta fix that thing with the doors falling off.

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah, okay, let's get into that. But thank you, Joe Biden. Thank you for making my life better. Now just bring back Roe v. Wade so I don't to sit next to a crying baby on a red eye.

[Trevor Noah]

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