Jon Stewart (2:04)

There's a dispute.

Donald Trump (2:05)

Wait a minute, wait a minute. He had MS.13 on his knuckle.

Trevor Noah (2:10)

He had some tattoos that are interpreted that way. But let's move on.

Terry Moran (2:13)

Okay, let me just explain what's going on here. Garcia has tattoos on his hand and someone labeled a photo of them, trying to prove that they're actually a code. The problem is Trump thinks that the labels are part of the tattoo and he is very, very insistent on it.

Trevor Noah (2:31)

Let's move on.

Donald Trump (2:31)

Wait a minute. Terry, Terry, Terry.

Trevor Noah (2:34)

He did not have the letter MS.13.

Donald Trump (2:36)

It says MS.13.

Trevor Noah (2:38)

That was photoshopped.

Donald Trump (2:39)

Do you want me to show you the picture?

Trevor Noah (2:40)

I saw the picture.

Donald Trump (2:42)

Can you think it was Photoshop?

Trevor Noah (2:43)

Here we go. Here we go.

Donald Trump (2:44)

Don't Photoshop it. Go look at his hand. He had MS.13.

Trevor Noah (2:46)

He did have tattoos that can be interpreted that way. I'm not an expert on them. I want to turn to Ukraine. I want to get to Ukraine.

Donald Trump (2:52)

No, no, no, no. He had Ms. As clear as you can not interpret it.

Terry Moran (3:00)

Now I understand why he's so proud of that Gulf of America poster. He thinks Golf of America is actually written on top of the water. Makes sense.

Trevor Noah (3:14)

Makes sense.

Terry Moran (3:16)

And what is so crazy is that Terry Moran kept trying to change topics, but Trump wouldn't let him. I have never seen an interview where a reporter catches a politician in a gotcha, and the politician is the one who says, stop. Stop trying to move on. I am not done embarrassing myself, but I will hand it to Terry Moran. He held his ground to the point where it actually wore Trump out. And that's when we saw a moment of vulnerability from trump.

Donald Trump (3:42)

He's got MS.13 on his knuckles. All right, okay, we'll take a look. You do such a disservice. We'll take a look at that. Why don't you just say, yes, he does, and, you know, go on to something else?

Trevor Noah (3:53)

It's contested Ukraine.

Terry Moran (3:56)

Why don't you just say, I'm right, up is down, left is right, Santa's real, and that is Trump in a nutshell. I can't prove the insane things I believe, so just go along with them. Don't believe your eyes. Believe the Photoshop. But I, for one, will not believe the Photoshop. Okay, I will go into the rest of the term with my eyes wide open, staring and watching. Oh, God, no.

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Terry Moran (4:23)

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Trevor Noah (4:25)

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Donald Trump (4:39)

Fascinating.

Trevor Noah (4:40)

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

Jon Stewart (4:43)

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Trevor Noah (4:47)

They see us.

Jon Stewart (4:47)

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Trevor Noah (4:50)

Liberty. Liberty.

Jon Stewart (4:52)

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Trevor Noah (4:54)

Insurance Company and affiliates, excludes Massachusetts. Americans are still trying to process the global realignment that has occurred following the disastrous Oval Office meeting between the President, J.D. vance, and Volodymyr Zelenskyy. What happened? They say, are we still America? They say, who side are we on? They say, it's complicated. The best way that I can explain what happened and show Americans how to process this new reality was with Another shocking turn of events from this weekend.

Terry Moran (5:29)

On Saturday night at the Elimination Chamber, the WWE shocked the world as John Cena turned heel, joined the Rock, and attacked Cody Rhodes.

Trevor Noah (5:43)

Now, if that does not immediately explain to you our current geopolitical climate, you must have grown out of watching wrestling through the normal course of aging. I, on the other hand, understand this in my bones. This explains it, folks. All of your shock, all of your disappointment, all of your anger, it's in there. It's in the squared circle you see Saturday night. Oh, we're doing this Saturday night. John Cena, the good guy of professional wrestling. Mr. Hussle, the champ, the man who stood for everything. Truth, justice. The guy who literally holds the record for the most Make A Wish foundation meetings of all time. People would get cancer just to meet John Cena. Last weekend, Cena flipped the script and went from being a face, a good guy to a heel, a bad guy. Now, if you don't follow professional wrestling, and I'm guessing if you watch this show, you do not. Judging. Judging from. All right, but let me continue to bore you with this metaphor. So here's what happened. The current WWE Champion is one Cody Rhodes. Seven people say around Cody Rhodes is the people's champ. Unquestioned bravery. He stands in for Zelensky in this metaphor. A couple of weeks ago, the Rock, the now evil owner of the wwe, Putin, in our story, made Cody Rhodes an offer. The one thing that I want more than anything in this world is that I want your soul. Put it. He wants Zelensky's soul. But. But, sir. But, sir, I am smaller and weaker than you. It will take incredible bravery for me to protect my soul and the soul of my people. But luckily, I am not protecting my soul alone, for I have the support of the great John Cena. So Cody Rhodes, Zelensky told Vladimir Putin, rock, no soul for you, mother. And that's when they met in the Oval Office. America went to hug Zelensky. But when America looked up, somehow Putin had given John Cena the international sign for its time. And rather than repudiate Putin, America smelled what the Rock was cooking. And through that borschti haze, America delivered the nutshot, the nutshot to the hopes and dreams of Ukrainians everywhere. And then, for no reason, America jumped on Zelensky and started punching him in the face as many times as he could. Too simplistic?

Donald Trump (9:30)

No.

Trevor Noah (9:35)

This is it. Am I being too simplistic? Assigning to the delicate art of realpolitik a scripted outcome? Perhaps, but judge for yourself.

Jon Stewart (9:49)

Putin broken 25 times.

Lawrence O'Donnell (9:52)

His own signature.

Trevor Noah (9:53)

25 times.

Jon Stewart (9:54)

He broke.

Lawrence O'Donnell (9:54)

And ceasefire.

Donald Trump (9:55)

You're in no position to dictate what we're going to feel. You're not in a good position. You don't have the cards right now. You're gambling with World War Three. You're gambling with World War Three.

Jon Stewart (10:08)

Have you said thank you once this entire meeting?

Donald Trump (10:11)

We gave you, through this stupid president, $350 billion. You're either going to make a deal or we're out. This is going to be great television, I will say that.

Trevor Noah (10:23)

It. But isn't that what you want from the high stakes diplomacy and real life urgency that ending war demands? And you know, even reporters got some nutshots in. Why don't you wear a suit? Oh, shit. No, you didn't. Let's do the dozens. Oh, Zelensky, you're so poor and war torn, you're down to one Brooks Brother. Oh, shit. You're so war torn, you've given up the meaningless protocols of business attire. If you think I'm pushing this metaphor, look at the stunned faces in the crowd at WWE when John Cena turned heel. I now present you the equally stunned faces of those watching this Oval Office pay per view.

Jon Stewart (11:22)

Scott, I've never seen anything like that. You've never seen anything like that?

Trevor Noah (11:25)

Wow.

Terry Moran (11:27)

Just wow. That was. That was something. Caitlin, I want to start with. Look at her face. I mean, Christiane.

Trevor Noah (11:37)

You broke. Christiana Amanpour, the woman wanders unprotected through Taliban controlled Afghanistan, doesn't give a 10 minutes of Trump diplomacy, and she's like, is anyone else dizzy? My A1C is plunging. Now, of course, there is one big difference between the WWE and the world of politics. In the wwe, they seem very clear on who the good guys and who the bad guys are. Nobody walked out of the match pretending that the guy who got nutshotted was the bad guy.

Terry Moran (12:17)

There was this attitude of ungratefulness. Seeing his smirk, seeing him roll his eyes, seeing him refer to JD Vance, the Vice President, as JD he shows.

Jon Stewart (12:26)

Up in his Equinox chic outfit to the doggone Oval Office.

Terry Moran (12:30)

President Zelensky was also antagonistic. And frankly, he was rude.

Jon Stewart (12:34)

So impertinent, so disrespectful. Tone deaf going in and fighting back, getting sassy with the President and the. He was sassy.

Trevor Noah (12:42)

He was sassy. He was sassy. Ooh, he was a real scallywag. You know what I would say if I was there in the Oval Office with him? I'd say you better watch your tone, mister. I think it was Churchill, who during World War II, was roundly criticized for being a bit lippy. Excuse me, mister. We'll decide where you're gonna fight them, whether it's on the beaches or not. Whatever. Poor guy. Zelensky, his nation was invaded. He's, against all odds, held off a much bigger army for three years. And we're like, would it kill you to smile a little more, dress a little nicer? Your beautiful country, Nobody would know. Show off what you got. You know what I'm talking about. Maybe some of those rare metals I've been hearing something about. But of course, if you criticize Trump's very clear hostility to Zelensky and very clear appreciation of Putin as being suspicious or a repudiation of American values as they've been outlined Since World War II, Trump's people quickly set up straw men north of Richmond. If there are no negotiations, what is the alternative? Another four years of war? We're not saying there should be no negotiations. We're just surprised at the side you seem to be negotiating for.

Terry Moran (14:07)

President Trump recognizes the urgent need to end this war after three long, bloody years. President Zelensky has different aims in mind.

Trevor Noah (14:17)

Yeah, bullshit. I'm pretty sure everybody wants it. Everybody wants to end. Hitler wanted to end the war, just not the way it ended. You're pretending that we have. We have no other options.

Jon Stewart (14:31)

Our hearts all break for the suffering and loss of. But you know what would be even worse? World War Three.

Trevor Noah (14:40)

Yes, I'm sure your heart in quotation marks is breaking, but in your little zero sum formulation, you are correct. Total capitulation by Ukraine, loss of all their mineral wealth and no security guarantees is still better than World War Three. For now. But, you know, everything sounds better if the only other option you're presenting us is World War 3. You can listen to the Amelia Perez composer freestyle another verse at the Oscars or World War 3. Eventually you will agree to hear another verse. Buy a hair.

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Jon Stewart (15:53)

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Trevor Noah (15:59)

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Jon Stewart (16:18)

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Terry Moran (16:25)

Another major concern here is that Trump called up the National Guard without permission from Gavin Newsom, Governor of California and man with strong opinions about the food and business class. But Newsom is hitting back.

Trevor Noah (16:38)

The absurdity of this cannot be understated. There were 2,000 National Guard that were quote, unquote, deployed, of which only 315 actually were mission assigned. 1700 have no particular role or responsibility.

Terry Moran (16:59)

This wouldn't be the first time someone went to LA looking for a role and couldn't find one. Hey, you listen to me. 1700 troops. You keep following your dreams, you work on your craft, knock down those doors, and most importantly, most importantly, do not go into porn. Do not. Don't do it. Although if you did, I've got a great title for you.

Jon Stewart (17:27)

Pussycrokema Tires.

Terry Moran (17:31)

There it is.

Trevor Noah (17:32)

So, okay.

Terry Moran (17:33)

Newsom is lobbing the unfathomable accusation that Trump might make decisions without fully thinking them through. But I'm sure Trump will be the bigger man here.

Jon Stewart (17:42)

Earlier in the day, the president suggesting that it might be a good idea if his border czar, Tom Homan, arrested the California governor.

Trevor Noah (17:48)

I would do it if I was Tom.

Donald Trump (17:50)

I think it's great.

Jon Stewart (17:51)

When asked what crime Newsom has committed to warrant arrest, the president responding, I.

Donald Trump (17:56)

Think it's primarily primary crime. Is running for governor because he's done such a bad job.

Terry Moran (18:06)

That's a ridiculous statement from Trump. Gavin Newsom's primary crime is obviously his podcast. And even if Newsom wasn't good at his job, being a bad governor doesn't mean you should get arrested. It means you should be mayor of New York. A showdown is now taking shape between the Trump administration and America's oldest university. The federal government announcing it will freeze more than $2 billion in grants for Harvard and $60 million in contracts after the school refused to comply with demands to limit activism on campus, eliminate its DEI programs, and make other changes.

Jon Stewart (18:45)

Holy shit.

Lawrence O'Donnell (18:46)

We finally found a force more powerful than Trump's hatred. Harvard's love of sending rejection letters. But look, I don't usually root for Harvard because they're Harvard. They've got everything. It's like rooting for Jeff Bezos to win the lottery. But in this case, I have to give them credit. They're standing up for their principles and for everyone's right to free speech, even if it means possible financial ruin.

Jon Stewart (19:11)

One of the big questions going forward, is Harvard going to dip into that $50 billion plus endowment to make up for that federal shortfall?

Lawrence O'Donnell (19:20)

Okay, I hate them again.

Trevor Noah (19:23)

But the.

Lawrence O'Donnell (19:24)

The best part about Harvard's resistance to Donald Trump is that it gives people the chance to go on TV and let you know where they went to school.

Terry Moran (19:31)

I myself am a first generation college graduate. I graduated from Harvard. I should disclose I went to Harvard. So I'm very familiar with the president and with how the community feels right now. But as a Harvard alum, and you know I am as well, I know.

Jon Stewart (19:45)

Many alums, including people I know very.

Donald Trump (19:48)

Closely and faculty members like me.

Trevor Noah (19:50)

I know you look really surprised because I'm wearing a tie you've never seen before. It has a little Latin word inside each one of those symbols there. The word veritas, meaning truth, of course. And this is the one night. It's a one night only appearance of this tie. I know that that is not something that you usually billboard in the world about yourself. Oh, God.

Lawrence O'Donnell (20:16)

The only thing worse than people bragging about going to Harvard is people pretending to be embarrassed about going to Harvard. It's like, oh, my darkest secret. Please don't make me tell anyone. Please. No. I went to Harvard.

Trevor Noah (20:29)

Harvard har. Harvard.

Lawrence O'Donnell (20:32)

Harvard. My favorite guy is Lawrence o'. Donnell. He's really embarrassed he has to talk about this. I mean, it's definitely not something he will bring up all the time over the course of many years.

Trevor Noah (20:43)

Let me just say confessionally, I went to Harvard College. Most of the good things that have happened to me in some way trace back you and I. Yeah. As Harvard Americans.

Donald Trump (20:55)

Yes.

Trevor Noah (20:55)

I first heard him speak as a guest lecturer at Harvard. Okay, well, I got into Harvard, too. In fact, it was the only college I applied to.

Donald Trump (21:06)

So.

Lawrence O'Donnell (21:06)

I know we're trying to bring people back from the El Salvador megaprison, but do they have room for one more at Capella University?

Trevor Noah (21:13)

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Terry Moran (21:42)

This Halloween. What's under your costume? Might just steal the show.

Jon Stewart (21:46)

Wait, is that Glow in the Dark underwear? Boo.

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Terry Moran (21:50)

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Trevor Noah (21:56)

Tricks, treats.

Jon Stewart (21:58)

Buttery soft briefs.

Terry Moran (22:00)

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Jon Stewart (22:15)

We all know President Trump has spent the last two weeks in a wrestling match with the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein. But he's been fighting the last six months with a much more alive person, Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell. And, boy, does Trump hate the guy.

Donald Trump (22:32)

Jerome Powell has done a terrible job, and frankly, I don't think he could do a worse job. We have a stupid person, frankly, at the Fed. He's an average, mentally person. I'd say low in terms of what he does. Low. Low IQ for what he does. Okay. But there's, you know, numbskull. He's a numbskull. I think he's a total stiff. You talk to the guy, it's like talking to nothings. It's like talking to a chair.

Jon Stewart (22:59)

No personality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, whatever happened to all of our exciting, dynamic Federal Reserve chairs? Who doesn't remember fed chairman Dierks McGinty? Huh? Uh, did he crash the economy? Yes.

Trevor Noah (23:17)

That.

Jon Stewart (23:17)

That guy was radical. Now, you may be wondering what Jerome Powell ever did to make Trump so angry. I mean, the way Trump talks about him, you'd think they caught him at a Coldplay concert with Trump's wife. But at its heart, this is a beef about economics. Trump wants to lower interest rates to help juice the economy, but Jerome Powell is in charge of setting those interest rates, and he refuses because he's worried that will increase inflation. And nothing, nothing makes Trump angrier than someone doing their job.

Donald Trump (23:51)

Well, he should have cut interest rates a long time ago. Europe has cut them 10 times in the short period of time, and we cut them none. The only time he cut them was just before the election to try and help Kamala or Biden, whoever the hell it was, because nobody really knew. How did that work out? You'll tell me. It didn't work out too well, did it?

Jon Stewart (24:12)

By the way, if you're wondering what this guy has to do with any of this, I'll tell you Nothing. That's the crown prince of Bahrain. He flew across the planet to talk about peace in the Middle east, and now he just has to sit there while Trump works himself up over some personal shit. It's like when you were at your friend's house for dinner and get dragged into their parents fights. Oh, you know what? Let's ask Timmy. Timmy, is four beers a normal amount to drink at breakfast? Tell him. Tell Mr. Patterson. Tell Mr. Patterson. But yeah, sorry, your highness. It doesn't matter what you were here for. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Donald Trump (24:55)

He's a terrible. He's a terrible Fed. Cheer. I was surprised he was appointed. I was surprised, frankly, that Biden put him in.

Jon Stewart (25:04)

Yeah, yeah. Why did Joe Biden put Jerome Powell in? Let's go back to when Joe Biden appointed Jerome Powell and see what Joe Biden said about him.

Donald Trump (25:15)

It is my pleasure and my honor to announce my nomination of Jerome Powell to be the next chairman of the Federal Reserve. He's strong, he's committed, he's smart.

Jon Stewart (25:28)

Damn, man. Joe Biden looks fat as shit. Hey, I get it. I'm also trying desperately to forget everything that happened during Trump's first term. So now you might be wondering, if Trump hates this guy so much, why doesn't he just fire him? Well, he's been threatening to pretty much non stop ever since he won the election. But you tell me if Powell seems phased by it.

Terry Moran (25:55)

Some of the President elect's advisors have suggested that you should resign. If he asked you to leave, would you go?

Jon Stewart (26:02)

No.

Terry Moran (26:04)

Can you follow up on. Do you think that legally you're not required to leave?

Trevor Noah (26:09)

No. Okay.

Jon Stewart (26:13)

You don't want to spin it. Do a little grandstanding. You know the camera's on, give it a little razzle dazzle. Big J, come on. But no, no. Jerome Powell truly does not give a about Trump's threats. To follow up on Victoria's question, do you believe the President has the power to fire or demote you? Not permitted under the law. Not what? Not permitted under the law.

Donald Trump (26:41)

Wow.

Jon Stewart (26:43)

He actually. He went on to add, try to. Although, you know, just one more quick follow up. Chairman Powell. Do you think I can pull off jean shorts? Not permitted underwear. Harsh but fair. But Powell was right. The President can't actually fire him. The position of Fed Chairman was designed to be independent from the President to ensure that his decisions will be made free of political pressure. But Trump thinks he found a loophole.

Terry Moran (27:17)

Yesterday, the President suggested a caveat, that he could remove Chairman Powell if there is cause. He has accused Powell of fraud related to the Fed's multi year $2 billion renovation project.

Donald Trump (27:29)

He's spending two and a half billion dollars to. I guess it's a renovation.

Trevor Noah (27:34)

I don't know.

Donald Trump (27:35)

The one thing I didn't see him is a guy that needed a palace to live in, and now on top of it, he's building a. A close to $3 billion little nest egg for himself. He's doing a little renovation for $2.5 billion of the Fed.

Jon Stewart (27:56)

Yes, I've been here this entire time. By the way, it's crazy to hear Trump complain about the Federal Reserve palace while he's sitting in his gold bedazzled office. Man, that Jerome Powell sure is extravagant, don't you agree? Gold plated eagle holding up a marble end table. But on the other hand, Trump's smear campaign is having an effect. Some of these charges of extravagant spending got to the point where Powell had to deny them under oath. The media reports that you accurately quoted, they're misleading and inaccurate in many, many respects. There's no new marble. There are no special elevators.

Trevor Noah (28:37)

There are no new water feature.

Jon Stewart (28:38)

There's no beehives. What? No beehives? Not even one? Well, now I'm worried Jerome Powell isn't spending enough on the renovations. How can I trust a Fed chairman who isn't licking honey off his fist like Winnie the Pooh? It seems like they're now trying to make the renovations sound as shitty as possible. No water feature, no special elevators, and worst of all, they're dismantling the skate park for Dirks McGinty. Oh. Explore more shows from the Daily show.

Trevor Noah (29:08)

Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show.

Jon Stewart (29:11)

Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount.

Donald Trump (29:20)

Plus.

Jon Stewart (29:23)

This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock.

Trevor Noah (29:31)

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