The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Everything Trump Has Banned

Date: September 13, 2025
Host: Trevor Noah
Featuring: The Daily Show News Team | Guest Commentators

Episode Overview

This episode of The Daily Show takes an incisively satirical dive into President Donald Trump's whirlwind spree of executive orders, focusing on the seemingly endless list of things he has "banned" or rolled back since returning to office. Trevor Noah and the team lampoon Trump’s policies, his approach to government, and the broader implications for American society. With characteristic wit and sharp commentary, the episode covers immigration, climate, diversity and inclusion, LGBTQ+ rights, “woke” culture, and even plastic straws—offering equal measures of humor and biting critique.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trump’s Executive Order Frenzy

[01:18-02:25]

• Trevor Noah lampoons Trump’s relentless signing spree, joking that “he didn’t even know what he was signing.”
  • Quote: “If you could put anything in front of him yesterday, he would have signed it. Melania, now's your chance to update the prenup. Go, go, go, go, go.” (Trevor Noah, 01:29)
• Jokes about the Trump approach: “I’m going to go to President Trump with an open mind. You know, he won the election, which means he’s a great guy. Who’s right?”

2. Withdrawing from Global Agreements

[02:25-02:57]

• Paris Climate Accord Withdrawal: Trevor contextualizes it as a hokey pokey dance, with the US going in and out.
  • Quote: “We've been doing the hokey pokey of these guys for like 12 years. They didn’t even put us in a group chat anymore, okay?” (Trevor Noah, 02:29)
• Sarcastically downplays the significance, “We’re not gonna reach the emission goals anyway, okay? This world is over.”

3. Immigration and Citizenship

[02:57-03:52]

• Explains Trump’s efforts to end birthright citizenship, a constitutional right, and mocks the concept.
  • Quote: “If your score’s above 60, you’re going back to Asia or whatever shithole country has educational standards.” (Trevor Noah, 03:30)
• Describes a “campaign Trump” persona vs. the “President Trump” approach.

4. Pardons for January 6th Rioters

[03:52-04:50]

• Satirizes clemency granted to those who assaulted law enforcement: “Freeing violent criminals seems less moderate and more like something Bane did.”
  • Quote: “If you know your history, in that situation, Batman fixed it, okay? So concerns are overblown.” (Trevor Noah, 04:10)
• Highlights QAnon Shaman’s reaction: ‘Thank you, President Trump. Now I am going to buy some mother effing guns.’

5. Rollback of DEI and Civil Rights Programs

[04:50-06:35]

• Executive orders reversing diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts; encourages federal employees to ‘snitch’ on inclusion initiatives.
  • Quote: “Don’t even think about doing DEI in secret. Don’t be meeting up in back alleys like, ‘Yo, you got any lesbian resumes for me today?’” (Trevor Noah, 05:27)
• Revocation of 1965’s affirmative action order (President Lyndon Johnson’s order).
  • Quote: “If a discrimination law has been around since 1965, it might be a load bearing civil rights thing. So maybe don’t touch it.” (Trevor Noah, 06:03)

6. Banning Transgender Service Members

[07:00-10:15]

• Trump bans transgender people from military service.
  • Quote: “Maybe they don’t say that, I don’t know, but that’s—look, I don't have a problem with transgender soldiers. As someone who pees himself anytime he hears a loud noise, I think we should be grateful to anyone who's willing to put their life on the line so I don't have to.” (Trevor Noah, 07:30)
• Critiques the rationale about “readiness” and recovery from surgery.
  • Quote: “What do you mean, readiness? Modern war is just telling a drone to drop bombs. Pretty sure it doesn't matter what your sex is to go like this.” (Trevor Noah, 09:40 [gestures dropping bomb])

7. Culture War Rhetoric & “Woke” Purge

[10:15-12:44]

• Trump removes “T” from federal LGBT references, restricting mention to “LGB.”
  • Quote: “They have no idea the damage T was doing to our nation. ... Because I think you'll agree with me, there is no T in USA.” (Correspondent, 11:26)
• Orders all references to gender ideology, pronouns, and related language to be wiped from government communications.
  • Quote: “No more pronouns and email signatures. Good luck signing your emails now, President Xi. Or should I say President him?” (Correspondent, 12:10)

8. Banning Trans Women from Women’s Sports

[13:07-14:17]

• Executive order against transgender women and girls’ participation in women’s sports.
  • Quote: “Maybe start with, I don't know, reproductive rights or pay inequality or why it's 2025 and still, none of my clothes have pockets.” (Guest Commentator, 13:38)

9. Rollback of Environmental and Other Regulations

[15:19-16:26]

• Trump reverses Biden-era regulations, including plastic straw ban.
  • Quote: “You okay? He's right on this one. ... I'm supposed to have some weird tissue paper dissolve in my mouth just because turtles can’t figure out straws aren’t food? No, don't eat the tubes, you stupid turtles.” (Correspondent, 15:49)

10. The “Woke” Word Purge and Free Speech

[16:26-17:38]

• List of banned or discouraged language in government—DEI, BIPOC, anti-racism, “sex,” “women,” etc.
  • Quote: “How can a lot of your cabinet members describe their weekends? ... But they love free speech, I guess.” (Correspondent, 16:55)

11. Demanding Removal of Unflattering Portraits

[17:38-18:31]

• Trump orders removal of a painting he deems unflattering.
  • Quote: “Really makes you think. Do you think other pictures of you are flattering? At least in the painting they blended the foundation into your hair.” (Correspondent, 18:08)

12. Militarization and Political Loyalty

[18:31-20:30]

• Trump’s Fort Bragg speech is critiqued for active-duty troops booing the media and his opponents.
  • Quote: “This is not a good look for the military. The military is supposed to be apolitical. … But maybe the reason these troops seem so MAGA is because the non-Trumpers didn’t want to be there.” (Guest Commentator, 19:14)
• Reports that Trump’s appearance was carefully staged, selecting pro-Trump soldiers and banning “fat soldiers” from TV screens.
  • Quote: “That really sums up the two principles of Donald Trump, doesn’t it? Number one, total loyalty. Number two, no fatties.” (Guest Commentator, 20:30)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On DEI rollbacks:
  “Donald Trump went back in time to kill baby DEI. It’s kind of impressive that he got this much focus. Trump is doing deep dives into these obscure old policies like he’s MAGA John Oliver.” (Trevor Noah, 06:03)

• On the banning binge:
  “Everything Trump does is all part of making America great again. Order one: roll back everything from the previous not great administration.” (Correspondent, 15:19)

Notable Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Description | |------------|----------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------| | 01:18 | Executive order spree | Trump signs anything put in front of him | | 02:25 | Paris agreement withdrawal | US “hokey pokey” with climate accords | | 02:57 | Birthright citizenship | Attempt to end constitutional right | | 03:52 | Pardons for Jan 6 rioters | Granting clemency to over 600 people | | 04:50 | DEI programs ban | Rollback & 'snitch' policy | | 06:00 | Johnson’s 1965 affirmative action revoked | Rolling back key civil rights order | | 07:00 | Military transgender ban | Exclusion of transgender service members | | 10:15 | “Our country is being lost” rhetoric | Trump’s campaign message | | 11:26 | Removal of “T” from LGBT | Federal references reduced to “LGB” | | 12:02 | Removal of gender/pronouns from government | Wiping identities from comms | | 13:07 | Ban on trans women in women’s sports | Title IX enforcement threat | | 15:19 | MAGA rollback spree | Reversing even the details (plastic straws) | | 16:26 | Purge of “woke” words from government | Bizarre list of banned terms | | 17:38 | Demanding portrait removal | Trump’s obsession with image | | 18:31 | Military rallies and loyalty | Fort Bragg speech and “no fat soldiers” policy |

Tone and Humor

The episode delivers relentless, rapid-fire satire. There’s an underlying mix of incredulity and alarm at the breadth of Trump’s bans, but the comedic approach—through sarcasm, absurd analogies, and relentless quips—makes the critique both entertaining and sharp. The hosts employ metaphors, mock conspiracy, and even self-deprecation, from references to Batman villains to subtle jabs at “woke” culture and even their own fluency in American history.

In Conclusion

TDS Time Machine | Everything Trump Has Banned offers a comprehensive, comedic snapshot of Trump’s flurry of executive orders, blending news, cultural critique, and humor to highlight (and lampoon) the reversals in civil liberties, environmental policy, LGBTQ+ rights, and more. For anyone wanting both a laugh and a digestible rundown of the latest “bans,” this episode is a quintessential Daily Show experience.