Transcript
Sponsor Voice (0:00)
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Jon Stewart (1:01)
You're listening to Comedy Central. February 2nd, 2004. From Comedy Central's world news headquarters in New York, this is the Daily show with Jon Stewart.
Correspondent (1:21)
Let's get right to it. As America licks the last traces of Dorito dust from fingers and Houston, Texas reverts back from center of the universe status to hole, we take a fond look back at the pageantry, spectacle and erectile dysfunction that was super bowl xxxviii. To the game. But first. But first to the pregame, which began sometime Friday morning and by yesterday had gotten so dull, CBS Jim Nance was forced to play pill network airtime. Talking to this guy, I've got a lot of great sports memories of Houston. F slam a jama. Love you blue. Nolan Ryan. Gosh, I'm still agonizing over the Astros losing to the Phillies in, in, in 1980. There you have it. He's still agonizing over a quarter century old baseball loss. Total failure of US Intelligence. It happens. We'll look into it. But the Astros and the Phillies. Ooh, still. Alright, time for the game. But first, Tommy Keith, whose performance gave producers an opportunity to show off their cool new matrix cameras. Perfect for those moments when you think I must see the other side of Toby Keith immediately. Make it so. But enough talk. Game time. But first, Aerosmith, who got things rolling with a rowdy down and dirty rock and roll tribute to the space shuttle Columbia and its astronauts, who Lost their lives. Aerosmith. Actually, they did do a sort of a deep version of their Dream on song. And in a sign of things to come, the number ended when Stephen Tyler accidentally tore off rhythm guitarist Brad Whitford's denim ass panels. Now the real. I know, for a band that old, that's a good looking ass panel, I gotta say. All right, now the big game we came to play. It's time to. I forgot the national Anthem. Here we go. Performed by Beyonce. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just. I don't think I was ready for that jelly. I just don't think I was. Alright, all kidding aside, let's go to the halftime show, which, aside from the commercials, is always the most anticipated part of the Super Bowl. This year's MTV produced extravaganza began when Janet Jackson, more on her later, came out and lip synced an old song of hers, followed by, of course, P. Diddy, who rushed to attend the event after apparently completing the Iditarod. The cavalcade of stars continued with our good friend Nelly, whose penis unfortunately picked an opportune time to begin itching. And then Kid Rock, who honored America by turning its flag into a poncho. Kid then sang that cowboy song he always sings, but with specific lyrics.